Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution Commented [Office1]: You

]: You have highlighted one

problems. method so the noun ‘method’ should be singular.

To what extent do you agree or disagree Commented [Office2]: These words have the same
meaning – ‘status quo’ or ‘current
What other measures do you think might be effective? situation’.

Commented [Office3]: ‘alleviate the situation from/ of the

status quo’ – to alleviate smb of/ from sth.
With the growing use of private vehicles, many cities have become more crowded
and undergone serious traffic and pollution problems. Some may argue that Commented [Office4]: ‘remedy for’ – a remedy for sth.

increasing the price of petrol is the most reliable methods to solve the problem.
Although it can alleviate the situation in status quo, it is not the remedy to the
fundamental cause.
The root cause of annoying traffic and pollutions problems in cities is constant inflow
of population. More residents bring about utilization of more resources, either of
roads or parking lots. Raising up the price of gas alone can just alleviate the problem
to some extent but city dwellers would not like to move out of urban areas merely
considering the gas price. After all, the bigger the city is, the more promising the
career will be like, as a result, the more money will be made to compensate the cost
for increasing fuel price and dealing with waste.
In my point of view, better solutions to traffic and pollution problems within cities lie
on the shoulder of the governments. City governors can widen roads and open up
more parking lots at citizens’ convenience. It is simple to understand that the reason
that people encounter traffic problems is lacking sufficient public transportation
infrastructure. Likewise, pollutions arisen from traffic problems mainly occurs when
there is a traffic jam. The more straightforward and effective method is to provide
more routes and parking lots for drivers.
To increase the price of petrol is one of the comproises to deteriorating traffic and
pollution issues in cities, especially for some metropolitans. We have to take other
e.g. I have a remedy for that
Commented [Office5]: Clearer grammar here would be
- ‘it can alleviate the situation in status quo, it does not
the remedy to the fundamental cause’
Commented [Office6]: ‘pollutions problems / problems
of pollution’ are the two possibilities here. ‘Pollution’ can be
used a an adjective without ‘s’.
Commented [Office7]: ‘’the constant inflow of
population’ – you need ‘the’ + noun + of + noun’ always.
Commented [Office8]: ‘the utilization of more
resources’ - – you need ‘the’ + noun + of + noun’ always.
Commented [Office9]: ‘Raising up’ – just ‘raise’ - better
to avoid phrasal verbs when a singular verb will be suitable.
Commented [Office10]: You could use ‘relieve’
...
Commented [Office11]: Unclear – ‘Raising the price of
...
Commented [Office12]: ‘do not want to/ tend not
...

measures to fix the problem fundamentally instead of relying on simply one way out. Commented [Office13]: Unnecessary.

Commented [Office14]: ‘cost of increasing’ – the cost of

Comment:
IELTS Marking Criteria
Task Fulfilment
...
Commented [Office15]: ‘shoulders’ – always plural – you
...
Commented [Office16]: ‘open up’ – no need for a phrasal
...
My comments Band score
Commented [Office17]: The choice of the noun ‘the
...
Commented [Office18]: ‘a sufficient public
...
A developed position is 7.0 + Commented [Office19]: ‘pollutions’ - singular
...
presented in response to Commented [Office20]: ‘arising’ meaning ‘which
...
the question/s. Some
Commented [Office21]: ‘compromises’ – spelling.
good ideas and arguments
Commented [Office22]: ‘adopt’ is a more formal
...
 concerning the topic. A
supported answer to the
end with the author’s
opinion well-defined.

Cohesion and Coherence Information and ideas are

logically sequenced and all
aspects of cohesion are
well managed. Each
paragraph has a clear
7.0
central topic within each
paragraph. Topic
sentences are clear.

Lexical resource Uses a wide range of

vocabulary fluently and
flexibly to convey precise
meanings. Here is skilful 6.5
use of uncommon, rarer
language such as ‘at
citizens’ convenience’ but
avoid informal phrasal
verbs ‘open up and raise
up’. Some redundant
language ‘just, only, to
some extent’

Grammatical Range A wide range of structures

is used but sometimes the
and accuracy
subject needs to be
clearer at the beginning of 7.0
the sentence. There are
quite a few mistakes with
articles and prepositions
and other grammatical
features which are
preventing a high score.

Overall Score: 7.0 - Some good ideas and language but some grammar needs to be
looked at.