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Every child deserves the fundamental right to feel safe, secure and protected.

But not every child does.


Growing up, it is the emotional and biological responsibility of our parents and family members
to create a safe environment for us. But not all parents accept that responsibility, are aware of
that responsibility, or have the capacity to fulfill that responsibility.
Safety doesn’t just mean physically protecting us from harm, feeding us, or the other essentials.
Safety also means supporting us on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels inherent
to us as human beings.
What happens when we don’t feel safe as children? What happens when this feeling of
endangerment is constant and long-lasting? The answer is that a huge gaping wound appears
in the psyche. This painful wound is often unknowingly repressed by us as adults … but its
impacts are profound and far-reaching.
The point of this article is to help you get into a reflective space. If you are interested in working
with your inner child, I want you to reflect on your own childhood, the timeline of your early
years, and how you felt as a child. Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging in your
family? Were you permitted to be you? What is your current relationship with your inner child
like? All of these questions are extremely important to ask, and if you haven’t asked them yet,
I hope you do.
Why am I so insistent about you asking these question and exploring this topic? The reason is
that inner child work is one of the most serious and profound forms of inner work you
can do. So much of our behavior, aversions, and neuroses in the present can be solved by
exploring and communicating with the inner child.

What is the Inner Child?


The inner child is the part in your psyche that still retains its innocence, creativity, awe, and
wonder toward life. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you – within
your psyche that is. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves.
When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, invigorated, and inspired by life.
When we are disconnected, we feel lethargic, bored, unhappy, and empty.

Feeling Safe – What Does it Mean?


Safety is not just physical, it is also emotional, psychological, and spiritual. When we feel truly
safe within our family environment, we have our physical and emotional boundaries respected,
our authentic selves accepted, and we feel close to and love by our family members (most
notably our parents). We also need to be given permission to grow and change and have all of
our basic physical necessities met (food, water, a safe home or neighborhood).

10 Ways We Were Made to Feel Unsafe as Children


The reality is that life isn’t ideal. The families that we are born into aren’t always great matches
for us.
Growing up, there were a number of ways we may have felt unsafe. Before we proceed, I want
to clarify that I am in no way blaming our parents or caretakers here. It’s important to remember
that our parents did the best they could with the level of information, education, and
emotional/mental maturity they had. Blame and resentment only serves to intensify the pain
your inner child may be experiencing. So be mindful and know your limits when it comes to
doing this work.
Here are some of the most common ways we were made to feel unsafe. How many can you
relate to?
 You were taught that it’s not OK to have your own opinions.
 You were punished when trying to speak up or act differently.
 You were discouraged from playing or having fun.
 You weren’t allowed to be spontaneous.
 You weren’t allowed to show strong emotions such as anger or joy.
 You were shamed by your parents or family members.
 You were verbally criticized/abused on a regular basis.
 You were physically punished, e.g. smacked, beaten.
 You were made to feel responsible for your parents and their level of happiness.
 You weren’t given physical affection, e.g. hugs, kisses, cuddles.
This list is by no means exhaustive. So if you feel I have left something out, please share in the
comments.

Types of Childhood Neglect


Let’s further break down the ways you were made to feel unsafe and unloved as a child (if you
had a dysfunctional upbringing).
Here are the three types of childhood neglect you may have experienced:
1. Emotional Neglect
Your parents/guardians didn’t show interest in your emotional needs for love, support,
protection and/or guidance. They either didn’t pay attention to you or condemned emotional
expressions of need from you. The likely outcome of this was that:
 You developed low self-worth and esteem for yourself.
 You began ignoring your emotional needs.
 You learned to hide from, avoid or repress your emotions as they were associated with
feelings of neglect from your childhood.
 You developed psychological or physical sicknesses connected to your inability to listen
to, accept and deal with your emotions in healthy ways (e.g. emotional repression).
2. Psychological Neglect
This type of neglect was manifested in childhood by your parents/guardians who failed to listen
to, embrace and nurture the person you were. As you grew older, you likely developed any
variety of these symptoms:
 You developed low self-esteem issues due to forms of abuse such as ridicule, put-downs,
overly high expectations, being ignored, rejected, or constantly punished.
 You developed deep-seated anger issues both from unresolved childhood trauma, and an
inability to love oneself.
 You developed addictions and neurosis to create a misguided sense of comfort and safety
within your life.
 You developed psychological and/or physical illnesses.
 You have problems sustaining healthy and respectful relationships.
3. Physical Neglect
At a basic and fundamental level, physical safety and nourishment are some of the most
intrinsic elements of a loving relationship. We can see this in nature, with mothers and fathers
nourishing their chicks, pups, and cubs with food, shelter, and protection. When this is lacking,
however, the following issues can develop:
 Low self-worth resulting in physical neglect/abuse of oneself, e.g. eating disorders
(anorexia, obesity), maintaining an unhealthy diet, self-harm.
 Intense safety-seeking behaviors (psychological complexes such as OCD) or extreme
risk-taking behaviors (e.g. unprotected sex, obsessive daredevil feats, etc.)
 Addictions to drugs, alcohol, violence, food, etc.
 Sexual dysfunction or promiscuity (often due to sexual abuse).
Take a few moments to breathe a connect with yourself after reading this list. Likely you
will feel some strong emotions (but it’s okay if you don’t). I encourage you to take your time
and go slowly, being gentle with yourself.
It’s helpful to remember that while some, or even many, of our problems stem from childhood
neglect – grudge-holding and blame will get us nowhere. People are victims of victims,
meaning that the reason why our parents/guardians behaved the way they did was most likely
because of their neglected upbringing, and their parents experienced the same traumas – and
so on and so forth.

25 Signs You Have a Wounded Inner Child


Pay close attention to these signs. They will help you learn the general extent to which your
inner child has been wounded and the level to which you feel unsafe in this world. The more
signs you say “yes” to, the more you need to seriously consider inner child work:
 In the deepest part of me, I feel that there’s something wrong with me.
 I experience anxiety whenever contemplating doing something new.
 I’m a people-pleaser and tend to lack a strong identity.
 I’m a rebel. I feel more alive when I’m in conflict with others.
 I tend to hoard things and have trouble letting go.
 I feel guilty standing up for myself.
 I feel inadequate as a man or woman.
 I’m driven to always be a super-achiever.
 I consider myself a terrible sinner and I’m afraid of going to hell.
 I constantly criticize myself for being inadequate.
 I’m rigid and perfectionistic.
 I have trouble starting or finishing things.
 I’m ashamed of expressing strong emotions such as sadness or anger.
 I rarely get mad, but when I do, I become rageful.
 I have sex when I don’t really want to.
 I’m ashamed of my bodily functions.
 I spend too much time looking at pornography.
 I distrust everyone, including myself.
 I am an addict or have been addicted to something.
 I avoid conflict at all costs.
 I am afraid of people and tend to avoid them.
 I feel more responsible for others than for myself.
 I never felt close to one or both of my parents.
 My deepest fear is being abandoned and I’ll do anything to hold onto a relationship.
 I struggle to say “no.”
If you answered yes to ten or more of these statements, working with your inner child should
be at the top of your priority list. If you answered yes to five or more of these statements, you
should seriously consider reconnecting with your inner child.

How to Support Your Inner Child in Feeling Safe


Hold the hand of the child that lives in your soul. For this child, nothing is impossible. – Paulo
Coelho
We all have an inner child. When was the last time you spoke or connected with yours? How
often do you take the time to tune in and listen to your needs? Do you regularly make space to
play and enjoy life?
As human beings, we are not linear or two-dimensional creatures. We are all multi-faceted
and have multiple selves. Think about it for a moment: the ‘you’ currently reading this article
is very different from the ‘you’ joking around with colleagues, isn’t it? The ‘you’ in the middle
of the night is very different from the ‘you’ going to the movies with your partner or friend.
The ‘you’ talking to your parents is very different from the ‘you’ talking with your boss.
Your inner child is an essential part of the intricate patchwork that makes up your identity.
When you ignore or deny your inner child, he/she is doomed to wither away within the deep
dark vaults of your unconscious mind.
Disclaimer: there is so much pain to be faced with inner child work. But there is also so much
joy and so much vitality to be experienced. One of the most exciting and miraculous parts
of inner child work is that often hidden gifts and aptitudes that we’ve long lost touch with
emerge. Not only that, but many of our relationships improve, our addictions/habits lessen or
fade away, and our connection with ourselves deepens. Self-love and acceptance are finally
possible. I’m not saying you will experience all of these benefits right away, but you will most
certainly experience something beneficial so long as you’re committed!
Also, I want to say here that these exercises are not intended to replace therapy, programs or
groups for the inner child or child abuse. If you’ve gone through child sexual abuse,
severe emotional abuse, or have a mental illness, seeking professional help is essential. This
article is only meant to be a supplement. Finally, if you experience strange or overwhelming
emotions while practicing the advice below, please stop immediately. Seek the help of a
professional counselor before proceeding.
Remember that everything takes time. The practices below are not quick fixes. They’re not
sparkly wands that will immediately make everything better. But they will give you the basic
tools you need for feeling safe, secure, and protected at a core level. I truly hope you find
something below that will nourish you and your relationship with your inner child.
Here are the summarized points:
1. Reflect on the timeline of your childhood
2. Write a letter to your inner child
3. Write a letter from your inner child
4. Share your pain with a trusted person
5. Loving and supportive affirmations
6. Do an inner child visualization/meditation
7. Be your own protector and nurturer

I’ll go more in-depth into these points below:


1. Reflect on the timeline of your childhood
You might like to get a piece of paper or document on your computer and divide your childhood
into the following stages: Infant Self (0-9 months), Toddler Self (9 months to 3 years),
Preschool Self (3-6 years), and School-Aged Self (6 years to puberty).
Within each stage, try your best to recall how you felt, what life was like, and how safe,
supported, and accepted you felt. Keep in mind that feeling safe as a child didn’t always have
to do with the family environment. Often the school or other environments that we spent a lot
of time in shaped our inner child. Record any memories or physical sensations you had, even
if they feel fragmented. Record the tones of voice, expressions, and words your parents or
teaches used when interacting with you. Even if a memory seems silly or a reaction you
remember having seemed excessive, please write it down. As an adult, it’s important to honor
what your inner child authentically experienced, even if it seems ridiculous or exaggerated as
an adult.
The more information and emotionally-charged material you have for a particular age range,
the more you need to focus on connecting with that particular stage. I’ll share with you how
below.

2. Write a letter TO your inner child


Imagine that you’re a wise, gentle, and loving wizard or fairy godmother. Imagine that you
want to adopt your inner child. As you write the letter, tell your inner child how much you love
them and want to spend time with them. Write in a way that makes you feel safe, cared for, and
understood. Here’s an example from a letter I have written to my inner child:
Dear Little Ale,
I’m so happy you’re born. I am here to protect, love, and care for you. I want to help you feel
loved and accepted for who you are. I want to show you that it’s safe to be heard, to feel, and
to be seen. I want you to feel like you will always have a home with me no matter what. I want
to help and guide you every step of the way. I love you so much.
Love, Fairy Godmother Aletheia
If you feel emotional during this process, it’s okay. Let yourself cry and be proud of your
courage to express how you truly feel.

3. Write a letter FROM your inner child


Using your non-dominant hand (in order to bypass your logical side of the brain), write yourself
a letter from the perspective of your inner child. For example, if you are usually right-handed,
use your left hand to write. Using your non-dominant hand will help you get more in touch
with the feelings of your inner child. Here is my own example of my inner child speaking to
me:
Dear Godmother,
I want to find home. Please protect me. I don’t want to feel alone anymore.
Love, Little Ale
You can write back and forth between your Wizard/Fairy Godmother self and your little self.
Creating this conversation often reveals a lot of surprising and buried emotions, and new
information.

4. Share your pain with a trusted person


It is important that the pain you went through as a child is validated and heard by someone.
Whether you seek out a caring friend, support group, or trusted therapist please understand that
sharing your feelings is essential to all inner child work. Sure, you can do it alone. And you
can do a lot of deep work alone in general. But in order to experience a ‘breakthrough’ or even
just to heal deeply, sharing is important. We are social creatures who need others to hold
space for us. Your pain needs to be lovingly validated. If the person you’re sharing your
inner child work with is questioning, arguing, or trying to give advice to you, you’re not getting
what you need!
Here, it is vital for me to emphasize the need to seek real caring and nurturing support. If you
don’t have friends who are mature or capable enough of doing this, please consider finding a
therapist or spiritual counselor. There are many affordable options out there. Investing in your
well-being and mental health IS worth it. There are also many professionals out there who
specialize in inner child work or hold workshops. Counselor and self-help writer John
Bradshaw writes “I believe that group work is the most powerful form of therapy” when
referring to inner child work. But one thing: please don’t share with your family
members, even if they are caring. Family members who have not done their own inner child
work are much less capable of dealing with yours. Defensiveness, anger, finger-pointing, and
grief may result in sharing your feelings with family members, so please don’t do it.
Sharing takes tremendous courage and inner strength. It’s normal and okay to feel scared! Feel
the fear, and if you feel ready, share anyway.
5. Loving and supportive affirmations
Loving affirmations are a powerful way to affirm your worthiness and support your journey in
feeling safe. When repeated consistently, affirmations have a way of rewiring the brain and
sinking down into unconscious layers of programming. Repeating such messages can result in
deep change and healing at a primal level.
Here are some loving and supportive affirmations you can say to yourself throughout the day
and during meditation:
 I will stay here and support you.
 Welcome to the world, I’ve been waiting to hold you.
 I love you just the way you are.
 I’m so glad you’re here.
 I want to take care of you.
 I want to spend time with you.
 I want to hear your thoughts and feelings.
 It’s OK to feel sad and scared.
 It’s OK to be yourself.
 You’re allowed to say no.
 You are so special to me.
 You have so much to offer the world.
 I believe in you.
 I will protect you against harm.
You can say these affirmations as many times as you need, whenever is necessary during the
day. You might even like to use a special voice when saying these affirmations, such as the
voice of a wise old man or a loving mother.
Also feel free to create your own loving affirmations! The list above will help you get started,
but often the most powerful affirmations organically arise from your deepest needs.

6. Do an inner child visualization/meditation


You will need to dedicate about half an hour or more to this exercise. Find a quiet and
comfortable space, and either sit or lie down.
Imagine that you are about to meet your inner child. You walk outside into your backyard and
he/she is playing in a sandbox. What age is he/she? You walk up to your inner child and sit
down. “Hello,” you might say, introducing yourself. You look into the eyes of your inner child.
What is he/she feeling towards you? Curiosity? Trepidation? Shyness? Skepticism?
Excitement? Respect your inner child and his/her boundaries. If he/she wishes to hug you or
shake your hand, let that happen. If not, it’s okay. Your inner child may just need to warm up
to you. You might next wish to ask, “What do you need the most?” If you are communicating
with your infant self during this visualization, the response might come as a visceral feeling as
opposed to communicating with your school-aged self who might respond verbally. If your
inner child tells you what they need, provide a safe space for them. Let them feel heard, seen,
understood, and loved by you. You might like to share with them how much you love and care
for them, and wish them to be cared for. If your inner child wishes to be cradled, hugged, or
held, embrace the opportunity. Once you feel that your mission to connect with your inner child
has been completed, you can visualize yourself walking back into your house. Focus on your
breathing, stretch your body, and open your eyes.
I recommend journaling about the experience. Journaling is a wonderful tool for self-reflection,
deepening your self-understanding, and also serving as a way to document your progress. So
take a few minutes to do it!

7. Be your own protector and nurturer


As adults, it’s important that we take responsibility for our emotional well-being. Feeling safe
in this world is extremely important and essential for our inner child to thrive. Signs that you
feel unsafe in this world may include:
 Constant anxiety around others
 Tendency to worry excessively
 Inability to trust others
 Inability to trust yourself and your abilities
 Feeling afraid to do things by yourself
 Harsh criticism of yourself
 Fear of trying new things or going to new places
 Assuming the worst in every situation
If you can relate to the feeling of constantly ‘being on edge’ in the world and around others, I
strongly recommend focusing on feeling safe with yourself. Constant self-criticism, ignoring
your needs, lacking personal boundaries, always putting others above yourself, and changing
yourself to be accepted all keep you in a fearful state of not feeling safe.
While our parents or guardians may not have fulfilled most of our needs (or any of our needs),
the beautiful truth is that we can. The concept is strange, even foreign to us, but we can be our
own parents!
The benefits of re-parenting yourself?
 Greater happiness and optimism
 Improved creativity
 Healthier mind, body, and soul
 Stronger friendships and relationships
 Development of essential life skills: acceptance, forgiveness, vulnerability, compassion,
self-love
If you find it really hard to re-parent your inner child, seeking help from an inner child work
familiarized therapist will be a wise investment. Therapists, after all, act as substitute parents.
They can listen to and help coach your inner child, while supporting and strengthening your
inner parent.
If you prefer to go solo, that is absolutely possible. However, please do seek out a support
network if you can, whether online or in real life.
In order to be your own protector and nurturer, you need to create a clear ‘policy’ about what
is and is not okay self-treatment. Focus on fostering self-love and acceptance each day. Listen
to the needs of your mind, heart, body, and soul. Practice self-care. Take time out for yourself.
Eat food that nourishes you. Say no and draw clear boundaries. Reclaim your sovereignty over
your life. Explore practices that support feeling safe. If need be, you can even go in search of
a guardian angel or other spirit guide who can help you to support and nourish yourself.

Conclusion
Although we may have suffered misfortune as a child, it is never too late to re-live our
childhoods and reconnect to that childlike side of ourselves. When we take responsibility for
our happiness in life, we have the power to feel safe, heal ourselves, and create greater
wholeness. This gift can never be taken away from us.
I hope the exercises and practices I’ve mentioned in this article help support the healing process
of your precious inner child by aiding you to feel safe. You can read more about inner child
work in the following article:
As always, I would love for you to share your experiences below with this topic. You never
know who you can help out there simply by sharing a little bit of your time and story!
Inner Child Work: 4 Healing Techniques to Rediscover Your Original Innocence

No matter how big or small, almost all of us experienced some kind of trauma as children.
These traumas could vary from having your favorite stuffed toy thrown in the trash, to being
abandoned by your best childhood friend, to being physically or emotionally abused by your
parents.
Inner child work is a vital component of inner work because it reconnects us with a wounded
element of ourselves: the child within. When we reconnect with this fragmented part of
ourselves, we can begin to discover the root of many of our fears, phobias, insecurities and
sabotaging life patterns. This is where the true healing happens!
Likely, you’ll be surprised by what you discover through inner child work. Instead of simply
looking at a symptom of your pain, you’ll go right to the core and reveal when a fear, phobia
or certain life pattern first began.
We’ve previously written about reconnecting with your inner child in the past, and how
childhood trauma impacts you on a physical, emotional, mental and even sexual level. In this
article I want to expand on some powerful healing techniques that I’ve used before to soothe
this delicate place within us.

Types of Childhood Trauma


Firstly it’s important to understand that there are different types of childhood trauma. These
include the physical (including sexual), emotional and mentalvariety. Also, when a
childhood trauma is severe or repeated enough, it can result in soul loss. This is why you might
need to undergo a process known in shamanic circles as “soul retrieval.” Soul retrieval is
literally the process of “retrieving” the hidden, or inaccessible parts of your soul. Read more
about soul retrieval.
However, not all childhood trauma results in soul loss — but they do result in a wounded
psyche. This can result in issues such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, phobias,
destructive behavioral patterns, and even chronic illnesses.
Examples of childhood trauma could include:
 Being hit or smacked by your parents/grandparents
 Having an emotionally unavailable parent who withholds affection
 Being “punished” by kicking, shaking, biting, burning, hair pulling, pinching, scratching
or “washing out the mouth” with soap
 Being the recipient of molestation, shown pornography, or any other type of sexual
contact from a parent, relative or friend
 Being the child of divorce
 Being given inappropriate or burdensome responsibilities (such as caring for your
parents)
 Not being fed or provided a safe place to live from your parents
 Abandonment (your caretakers leaving you alone for long periods of time without a
babysitter)
 Emotional neglect, i.e. not being nurtured, encouraged or supported
 Being deliberately called names or verbally insulted
 Denigration of your personality
 Destruction of personal belongings
 Excessive demands
 Humiliation
 Car accidents, or other spontaneous traumatic events
There are many more examples of childhood trauma, but I just wanted to provide you with a
few to give you an idea of what inner child work deals with. It’s also important to remember
that our parents weren’t the only ones responsible for provoking childhood trauma — our
grandparents, brothers, sisters, extended family members, family friends and childhood friends
may have also played a part.

What is Inner Child Work?


This leads us to explore the definition of inner child work:
Inner child work is the process of contacting, understanding, embracing and healing your inner
child. Your inner child represents your first original self that entered into this world; it contains
your capacity to experience wonder, joy, innocence, sensitivity and playfulness.
Unfortunately, we live in a society that forces us to repress our inner child and “grow up.” But
the truth is that while most adults physically “grown up,” they never quite reach emotional or
psychological adulthood. In other words, most “grown-ups” aren’t really adults at all. This
leaves most people in a state of puerile fears, angers and traumas that fester away in the
unconscious mind for decades.
When we deny and snuff out the voice of the child within we accumulate heavy psychological
baggage. This unexplored and unresolved baggage causes us to experience problems such as
mental illnesses, physical ailments and relationship dysfunction.
In fact, it could be said that the lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is one
of the major causes of the severe issues we see in today’s society. From the brutal way we treat
the environment, to the cruel way we talk to ourselves, we have become completely separated
from our original innocence.

4 Simple Ways to Work With Your Inner Child


Learning to work with your inner child isn’t about becoming childish again, it is about
reconnecting with your childLIKE side.
In other words, there is a big difference between being childish and childlike.
Being childish can be thought of as behaving in an immature or naive way. Being childlike on
the other hand, can be thought of as a state of purity and innocence.
We all have the capacity to experience our original innocence; that period in our lives when we
saw the world with openness and wonder.
In order to remove the guilt, shame, fear, hatred, self-loathing and anger that we carry with us,
we have to heal the child within. To do this, we must earn the trust of our inner child through
love and self-nurturing.
Here are 4 of the most powerful ways to perform inner child work:
1. Speak to your inner child
Acknowledge your inner child and let it know that you’re there for it. Treat it with kindness
and respect.
Some self-nurturing things you could say to your inner child include, for example:
 I love you.
 I hear you.
 I’m sorry.
 Thank you.
 I forgive you.
Make a habit of talking to your inner child. You could also communicate through journal work
by asking your inner child a question, then writing down the response.

2. Look at pictures of yourself as a child


Go through old photo albums and rediscover what your younger self looked like. Let that image
be burned into your brain because it will serve you well throughout the rest of your inner child
work. You might even like to put photos of yourself next to your bedside table, in your wallet,
or around the house just to remind yourself of your inner child’s presence.

3. Recreate what you loved to do as a child


Sit down and think about what you loved to do as a child. Maybe you liked climbing trees,
playing with toy blocks, cuddling toy bears or eating warm porridge. Make time to include
whatever activity you loved to do as a child in your present life.
Through inner child work, people have told me that they’ve connected to sides of themselves
that they never even knew existed as adults. This discovery is truly life-changing. It’s
important that you make a habit of this “play time” and explore any embarrassment or silliness
you feel towards it. It’s completely normal to feel a bit foolish at first, but it’s important to keep
an open mind.

4. Do an inner journey
One of the most powerful ways to reconnect with your inner child to heal childhood traumas,
is to do an inner journey.
For beginners, I recommend two types of inner journeys: those done through meditation, and
those done through visualization.
In order to do these inner journeys, it is important that you first gain the trust of your inner
child through the previous activities. Once you have developed a strong connection to your
inner child, you can then ask it to reveal what earlier life circumstances created the trauma
you’re struggling with today.
How to do a meditation journey:
Connecting to your inner child through meditation is a passive process: simply breathe deeply,
relax, allow yourself to witness your thoughts, and ask your question. For example, you might
like to ask, “Dear inner child, when was the first time I experienced trauma in my life?”
Allow yourself to witness the thoughts that rise and fall within your mind. Your inner child
may or may not decide to reveal the answer to you. Remember to be patient, loving and
accepting. If your inner child doesn’t want to reveal the answer, embrace that. It’s important
that your inner child feels safe, secure, and ready.
You might like to repeat your question every now and then if nothing of significance arises
inside of your mind. This process could take anywhere from a couple of minutes to 1 hour or
more.
Tips — In order to do the inner child meditation journey, you’ll need to have experience
meditating. Learning to witness your thoughts can take a lot of practice, so if you’re not used
to meditating, you might struggle with this technique.
How to do a visualization journey:
A more active way to connect with your inner child and earlier life traumas is through
visualization.
To connect with your inner child through visualization, you must create a “power place” or
safe place. To do this you must visualize a beautiful garden, or any type of place in which you
feel safe, empowered and whole. After entering your power place, you can then invite your
inner child to speak with you.
Here are a few steps:
 Relax, close your eyes and breathe deeply.
 Imagine you’re walking down a staircase.
 At the bottom of the staircase is your power place, or safe place. In this place you feel
strong, safe and supported.
 Spend a bit of time in your power place. Soak it in. What does it look like, smell like and
sound like?
 After you have acquainted yourself with your power place, imagine that your younger
self has entered, perhaps through a door or waterfall.
 Hug your younger self and make them feel home.
 When you’re ready, ask your inner child your question, e.g. “When was the first time
you/I felt sad or scared?” You might like to phrase the question in child terminology.
 Await their response.
 Make sure you hug them, thank them, and tell them how much they mean to you.
 Say goodbye to them.
 Leave your power place and ascend up the stairs.
 Return to normal consciousness.
These are very basic steps, but they provide a good outline of how to perform an inner child
visualization journey.
***
As children we perceived the world very differently from our adult selves. Because of this,
many of the things we presently assume never hurt us as children may have left deep scars.
This is why it’s important to never make assumptions about your inner child.
Through inner child work, you can learn to grieve, heal and resolve any sources of trauma
you’ve been unconsciously holding on to for years. This can liberate you and allow you to
live a life of true adulthood, emotional balance and wellbeing.

Exercise For Healing The Inner Child from Loneliness


Find a place and a time in which you can be quiet for 20 minutes.
Alternate reading the following lines with shutting your eyes to visualise (or imagine) what
you are being asked to see.
This visualisation uses the pronoun 'she'. If you are male, please go through and change the
word ‘she’ to 'he' before you begin.
I become aware of my breathing.
I slowly become aware of my chest or my stomach moving out… and moving in.
I think of a present day or recent situation which upsets me around an issue of loneliness or
abandonment.
For example, perhaps right now I feel a little lonely.
Perhaps ‘when x does y’, I feel lonely.
Perhaps, when I am with a certain person, I feel alone.
I feel into any feeling of loneliness. I let this feeling be as it is.
Is there any sound or word which helps me to describe this feeling?
Now I imagine a younger version of myself who felt the same way. She also felt lonely or
abandoned.
What age am I?
I picture my self at this age standing in front of me. The distance between us feels safe to her.
I bend down as needed so that my eyes are at the same level as those of this little me.
I introduce myself.

Talk to your inner child


'Hi there, I am you at an older age. I survived. I have come back to support you in this time
when you need support.'
I find my own words to speak to my child self or I try out some of the following words.
I leave spaces for my child self to respond if she chooses to do so.
'It's OK to have the feelings you have when you feel alone.”
“It's OK to feel lonely. I understand.”
“It's OK to feel abandoned. I understand.”
“It's OK to want things to be different.”
“It's OK to need someone to be here with you.”
“I am here with you.”
“Is there something I can give you to let you know that I am here with you – something that is
our special symbol that I am here with you?” (This is my internal world so I am able to give
her whatever she wants if it is something good for her.)
“I am here to tell you that this person not being here with you is about that person’s ability, it
doesn't say anything about you.”
“What resource can I give you that help you to draw a different conclusion about yourself?”
(You might give her magical strength, self-worth, or an ability to see into the future and know
that she will survive.)
“Do you have anything you want to say to me?”
“If you need to tell me, 'I feel lonely', you can do that.”
I see what my child self needs and I give her what she needs.
I see her receiving from me.
I spend as long as my child self needs to spend with me.
And now I see my child self becoming very small, and I pick her up and place in my heart. She
knows that she is always here with me and I am always here with her.
Whether I have done this visualisation with closed eyes or open eyes I know that I have allowed
myself to feel a little more aware that I am here with myself.

Coming out of healing the inner child meditation...


When I am ready I become aware of my breath once again.
I breathe in.
I breathe out.
I become aware of the touch of my clothes on my skin.
I look at an object in the room around me.
I bring myself back to full waking consciousness.