Developing Leadership

Competencies (NLP)
Assignment (BMG714 39267)

Name: Gillian Kelly (MBA P/T)

Student ID : B00572050
Submission Date: 1st September 2012

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Contents

Executive summary/ Introduction .................................................................................. 3

Learning Contract 1 ....................................................................................................... 6
Objective: Weight Loss............................................................................................. 6
Background........………………………………………………………….…...……6
Applying Academic Literature .................................................................................. 7
Approach .................................................................................................................... 8
Outcome ................................................................................................................... 13
Conclusion ............................................................................................................... 13
Learning Contract 2 ..................................................................................................... 14
Objective: Response to my Regional Manager ....................................................... 14
Background………………………………………………………………………..14
Applying academic literature ................................................................................... 15
Approach .................................................................................................................. 18
Outcome ................................................................................................................... 20
Conclusion ............................................................................................................... 21
LeadershipDiscussion…………………………………………...................................22
Leadership and NLPConclusion……………...………………………………………23
Summary…………………………………………………..…………………………26
References .................................................................................................................... 27
Bibliography ................................................................................................................ 29
Appendices…………………………………………………………………………...32

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Executive Summary
Assessment is 100% coursework. You are required to complete a 3000-4000 word
assignment that shows that you understand the theory of leadership and how it
influences your behavior. You will also be required to provide evidence of the skills
developed in the module and critically reflect on their effectiveness in use, and the
impact they had on your leadership efforts.

For the purpose of this assignment I have taken the techniques from Doherty and
Thompson (2007), and used the theory to inform the action, I have also discussed the
leadership piece during the introduction section.
I have also undertaken the Myers and Briggs (2000) personality test and have been
defined as an E.S.T.J. (scoring very high in each section), which means that I have
extraverted thinking with sensing therefore I (a) focus on data collected by senses, and
(b) use impersonal analysis of data to reason logically from cause to effect, and in terms
of the Belbin (1981) theory, I was scored jointly as being a ‘shaper’ (The slave driver)
the typical features of which are: highly strung, outgoing and dynamic and ‘completer-
finisher’(Guarantees completion), the typical features which are painstaking, orderly,
conscientious and anxious.….. which according to my organizational behavior lecturer
Hadyn Bennett (2012) is very ‘different’. These traits are useful to note as to how I
undertook the 2 contracts.

Introduction
NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming is an applied psychology and has a number of
definitions, one of which is a model of performance excellence that enables excellence
to be duplicated (O’Connor, 2011), it is also described as the study of human excellence
and demonstrates how to communicate effectively and influence others. When we think
of successful people, whether they are business people, sports people, or simply
ordinary individuals who have achieved something extra-ordinary, they are often
spoken about as if they have a particular aura around them, that certain ‘Je ne sais quoi’.

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When others talk of encounters with these ‘successful’ people they talk of their ability
to light up the room, and speak of their “charisma”. Undoubtedly these people have
an ability to influence those around them, but what exactly is it?
It was this thinking around ‘what exactly is it’, that led a group of psychologists in the
1970’s to study successful people in order to analyse human behavior.
The group included Richard Bandler (psychologist), John Grindler (linguist) and
Gregory Bateson (anthroploigist). They considered styles of language, brain patterns
and how words and actions are linked together to form certain programmes or
sequences of behaviour. Their work created NLP.
Bandler’s initial “eureka” moment took place while transcribing taped therapy
sessions of Gestalt therapist Fits Perls, for psychiatrist Dr Robert Spitzer. Bandler
believed he recognized particular word and sentence structures that facilitated the
acceptance of Perls positive suggestions. Then a student at Santa Cruz University in
California, Bandler took his finding to one of his University tutors, John Grindler, and
between them they created a list of influential word structures and how they work
which they called :The Meta Model”, a work that was later published as “The
Structure of Magic”
Over the following years NLP has been described in many ways,
Vickers (2009) describes NLP as a “User manual for the brain, an attitude and a
methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques and a way of modelling excellence
in human behavior.”
Burn (2005) defines NLP as “The psychology of excellence- The difference that makes
the difference in communication”.
NLP Approach
NLP techniques shall now be applied and behavior changes evaluated using a
combination of the four underpinning key principles (Rapport, Outcomes, Senses and
Flexibility) to two personal contracts.
This assignment will conclude with my own personal leadership role throughout the
two Contracts being considered, using Bass’s (1994) Seven Styles of Leadership and
Dilts (1996). The 7 styles are split between Transactional – task orientated, giving
rewards in exchange for effort, and Transformational – creating a world to which people
want to belong, with a focus on vision. Thompson (2011) suggests both styles are
needed.

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Although NLP and Bass’s leadership model where developed in the 1970s and 1990s
respectively I will also argue the origins, to go back much further.
The Greek philosopher, Aristotle more than 2500 years ago in his book, The Rhetoric,
argued that persuasion relies on the interplay of three critical elements: a logical,
coherent, well – reasoned argument (logos); the speakers’ personal strength – especially
his character (ethos); and the frame of mind and feelings of the audience (pathos).
Aristotle’s elegantly simple framework will also be applied to my leadership roles in
the two example contracts, which will further develop and support Bass’s Seven Styles
of Leadership.
To diagnose my leadership style I asked 5 members of my management team who
report directly into me to complete Bass leadership style exercise (See appendix for
results), this has identified my areas for development.
Each of the two contracts will be structured to highlight, first the context and
rationale, with some background to the circumstances, followed by the NLP
techniques used, the outcome, then applying academic literature to the theory of the
technique used, the application and finally critical review of the content and
conclusion.
The First contract, will discuss a personal objective for me, Weight loss/ Fitness
Levels. I will use anchoring as a way to bring me a more determined mindset at times
when I am most vulnerable to breaking the new healthier regime, and develop a
personal mission statement to assist in clarifying the overall objective.
The Second contract is with regard to changing my response to my regional manager
(who I report directly into) and a couple of techniques used namely the ‘perceptual
positions’, ‘swish’ technique and also highlights both breaking rapport via miss-
matching, and building rapport via matching (I’ve also added a small piece on
chunking).
To end, I shall draw some conclusions around NLP and leadership in general and their
roots.

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Learning Contract 1

Objective: Weight Loss/ Fitness Levels

In creating a well formed outcome for my weight loss I have a question to ask myself,
would I be better setting an outcome of a large amount of weight? Or better with a
smaller amount of weight that will take less time to achieve?
After considering the positives and negatives of each, I have decided to go forward
with a smaller weight loss in a defined period of time (One month). This is
achievable, and when achieved will help reinforce the positive outcome for repetition
the next time.
On the other hand, if I were to be unsuccessful then I would be able to assess which
aspect caused me to fail and adjust the program for my next repetition accordingly.

Background

Over the past 5 years my weight has crept steadily up.

I travel a lot with my job, I work irregular hours when I am not travelling, and I seem
to constantly have a can of diet coke and some sort of snack in my hand, always
something to put off the hunger until I can get a proper meal.
I have decided to use an NLP anchoring technique help with my goal, I have also
decided to create a personal mission statement to give me a perspective of the
outcome, in effect it will be a statement reflecting the Well Formed Outcome.
The reason for using both is quite simple, I recognize that the impulse to buy or eat
junk food is triggered by opportunity. For example, I will be filling my car with fuel,
go into the filling station to pay and automatically buy junk food to eat in the car.
By using an anchoring technique I believe I can overcome the initial impulse to buy
the junk food.
Using the personal mission statement will give me the longer term tool to maintain
my weight, whilst the anchor will give me the tool to assist in moments of weakness.

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Applying Academic Literature
Bandler and Grinder (1979) outline the steps required in creating a well-formed
outcome these are:

1. Be stated in the positive (that is, what you want, rather than what you don't
want), see positive and negative
2. Be capable of representation in the sensory representational system (tangible
rather than theoretical or conceptual: able in principle to be evidenced through
the senses when attained. Thus, seen, heard or felt)
3. Be possible and achievable
4. Have all the resources (people, psycho-physiological states, time, capital,
equipment, or material) required or accessible.
5. Have a defined time frame
6. Be ecological in having consideration for cost and consequences for oneself and
others affected.

Following these steps, I created a well-formed outcome that became a personal mission
statement for this contract.

As alluded to previously, much of Aristotle’s writings contain aspects later enhanced

by NLP academics, for example, consider what Aristotle wrote in 4BC compared to
Bandler and Grinder’s steps to a Well-Formed Outcome.
Aristotle wrote: “All men seek one goal; success or happiness. First, have a definite,
clear, practical ideal, a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve
your ends – wisdom, money, materials and methods. Third, adjust your means to that
end”.
It is clear there are similarities, whether deliberate or not.
Whilst a Well-Formed Outcome is key, I chose to use anchoring as a way to boost my
will-power at particular points. I considered what would be the best mindset to try to
put myself in to achieve my goal and chose mine for 2 reasons. Firstly, it is a point in
my life where I was fit, slim and very active in sports, this is a direction I want to move
in so it was good to have an anchor that also allowed me to visualize an ultimate goal

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for me, but I specifically chose an experience that is still very vivid in my mind and
contains a feeling of determination and ultimate achievement.
It also invokes a memory that I can overcome adversity, and can achieve goals I have
set myself. Given Doherty and Thompson’s (2007) view that in order for an anchor to
be successful the subject also needs “knowledge of his own ability”, I felt this was an
important aspect of my visualization.
Following the advice of Rose (2008), my well-formed outcome is short enough that I
can recite it to myself as often as I want, I have also ended up repeating it again at
teatime – pretty much mealtimes. It helps to remind me not to be greedy!

Rose’s (2008) work demonstrated the startling effect on memory retention when the
material is repeated in small chunks (see figure 1)

Figure 1: Memory Retention. Source. Rose (2008)

Much has been written about anchors, but Molden (2003) in particular reminds us how
external stimuli can have a profound effect on our behaviour. Anchors can be both
positive and negative, but understanding how they work allows us to create our own to
further our own cause.

Molden (2003) gives a simple 4 step process for creating an anchor;

1. Calibrate the state you want to anchor

2. Anchor the state with a unique stimulus (or any combination)
3. Change the state of the subject being calibrated

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 4. Fire your anchor

Molden (2003) explains that the intensity of an anchor may rise and fall, and it is key
to capture the intensity just before it starts to peaks (see figure 2). Unfortunately as a
beginner in NLP, and given the actual contract I am applying the anchor to, it was
very difficult for me to guage exactly where my feelings were at their peak.

Figure 2: Intensity of state. Source. Molden (2003)

Ultimately my contract has been successful to date, although I am also conscious of the
fact that I may have simplified the process by applying the contract to myself as
opposed to another subject, where I would have to build rapport and build in repetition
in order to be successful.
I had considered using the ‘swish’ technique), but I had difficulties applying the
technique to myself, (which I cover in the next contract). Another technique I had
thought of was ‘Timeline’ therapy but realised again that I wouldn’t be possible to apply
to myself- in both techniques I would need someone who I trusted to apply the
technique to me in a safe environment.
I shall cover the building and breaking of rapport in my second contract, but I am keen
to experiment with creating an anchor for another subject in order to gain further
experience.

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Approach
Breaking down the structure of the well formed outcome allows me to consider fully
the challenges and obstacles to meeting my goal, and more importantly how I will
overcome them.
It is my intention to create a written outcome as a means of further reinforcing the
goal I want to achieve, and as a personal “mission statement”.
The apparently simple question of “What do I want to achieve?” is not so simple
when you consider it. I have already established that my biggest obstacle in losing
weight is buying and eating of junk food, unfortunately an outcome of “I want to stop
buying and eating junk food” is both narrow and also a negative, and so impossible to
program in those terms.
I believe losing weight should be a broader goal, helping me to increase my exercise
and eat healthier. Something that I can use when I know I should go for some
exercise, or know that I shouldn’t buy a chocolate bar.
Equally, it is not enough to simply say “I want to lose weight” as it does not set up a
measurable parameter to allow me to gauge my success, in this instance there needs to
be a time frame stated. Also as previously noted, it is important that I set my
achievement in positive terms. For example, saying “I want to stop eating chocolate”
would be a poor starting point. With my time measurement, I do not want to set a
limitation, although I would like to lose 7 pounds in a month, I have to consider what
would happen if I lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks ? For that reason I want to set the time
frame as a target to be achieved within, allowing me to reset my outcome and start
again as soon as the weight is lost, not when the time has run out.
Therefore, I begin my statement with the simple statement “I want to lose 7 pounds
in weight inside the next month”.
My next question is how will I know I have achieved my outcome. In this instance it
is quite easy to measure by simply weighing myself. I will build this measurement
into my statement by adding “I will see this being achieved by measuring my
weight every Sunday evening, and feel myself becoming slimmer and more
energetic with each pound that is removed”.
This sentence covers both visual and kenesiatic representations systems by including
the prompts to “see” and “feel”. My reasons for including both senses is because in
analyzing my speech in normal conversations I became aware of having a lead system

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of visual followed by kinesthetic. This is an area that could be refined over time as I
become more aware of my own preference, although I am already conscious of the
dominant sense I remembered during my visualization exercise (later in this
document).
Having described the goal, and reinforced it with how I would measure it, I must now
consider potential obstacles. The first to consider are the secondary gains, in other
words, are there benefits I derive from the current situation that if resolved, would end
and therefore possibly create subconscious blocks preventing me from achieving my
overall goal? In this instance I do not believe there are any, but it may help to
reinforce the positive benefits by adding the sentence “My new energy will allow me
to participate more actively with my nieces and nephews and take part in sports
again”. The reason for adding these specific benefits are to remind me of the day to
day benefits I will gain from the outcome.
I also need to consider the impact my objective will have on those around me. If I
were setting an objective that impacted negatively on my family and friends then that
could have a major bearing on my ability to achieve the goal, regardless of how well
formed the outcome was. In this situation I know my family will be delighted at my
weight loss as it helps remove their worries over my health and will allow me to take
part in and initiate more family activities.
Now I must consider if I have the necessary resources to achieve my goal.
In this particular instance there really isn’t any excuse, with a full compliment of gym
equipment at home, gyms in all of the hotels I use, and an abundance of fruit snacks
available in the event that I become genuinely hungry at an airport or wherever.
Therefore I will add the sentence “Most of the resources are in place for me to
achieve my goal”. It is very simplistic, but adding it is an acceptance that there really
is no excuses, and the difference between success and failure is purely down to me.
Finally I must consider the question “If I could have the outcome today, would I take
it?”. In answering this I must consider the costs and consequences involved to myself
and those around me. To this question the answer is a resounding yes, and so I feel it
is worth adding a final line to my statement to tie everything together. “This
objective is worth achieving, for me, and my family. The costs are minimal and
the benefits are great.”
So, my personal mission statement is complete and forms the first part of my weight
lose contract. The statement reads:

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I want to lose 1 stone in weight inside the next month. I will see this being
achieved by measuring my weight every Sunday evening, and feel myself
becoming slimmer and more energetic with each pound that is removed. My
new energy will allow me to participate more actively and give me the
opportunity to become involved in more sports. Most of the resources are in
place for me to achieve my goal. This objective is worth achieving, for me, and
my family. The costs are minimal and the benefits are great.
To create my anchor, I will follow the technique of create a circle of excellence.
This will initially be my primary technique, and as mentioned I will also create an
anchor for when it isn’t practical to step in and out of a circle.
I want a trigger that will create a strong emotional attachment and help me remember
some of the reasons for achieving my objective. For that reason I have chosen to
touch/rub my wrist as the physical trigger for moving me to the motivational state I
want.
The process for creating the emotional state is fully documented elsewhere, for my
purposes I recognize there are two distinct phases.
Firstly I put myself back to a time when I was slim, fit and very active in sports.
I have also chosen an experience that involved the plan going wrong and my ability to
overcome it. I thought this important as there may be times during my weight loss
where events do not stick to the plan I have set and I want the anchor to remind me
that I can still achieve my goal.
For simplicity, I have included my physical actions in bold text.
In order to carry out the process I sat in a comfortable chair and closed my eyes.
I remember specifically a sporting event (Garron Tower sports day half marathon)
where I was successful. I remember the sights and sounds around me, I remember the
smells, but most of all I remember how I felt at the beginning of the event. Very
confident, and very determined. (I AM RUBBING MY WRIST) I knew I was going
to win and was simply waiting for the race to begin in order to make it happen.
I then remember the race itself. I was beside my main competitors but knew I was
fitter and faster and I recall looking at them and thinking just that.
After the first 2 miles I was in the lead when I felt a cramping in my leg and dropped
back 2 places. I quickly remembered how it would feel to win and upped my pace, I
then remember being surprised to see the 2 competitors ahead of me seemingly

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slowing down, I had closed the gap more than I thought possible (I AM RUBBING
MY WRIST)
I remember the feeling that everything was back on track, I knew I could win because
I could out run both of the other competitors.
I then moved ahead to the finish of the race which was a personal best for me in terms
of time taken. The feeling of achievement despite difficulties (I AM RUBBING MY
WRIST), remembering others congratulating me on winning, remembering the
trophy, and remember feeling I could achieve anything.
I opened my eyes and felt determined and confident that I could achieve my objective.

Outcome

It is still very early to tell the overall outcome as this is a long term objective.
However it is evident that I am eating less junk food overall, and have completely
eliminated eating and drinking in my car.
Having begun the weight loss plan at the beginning of July 2012, I can update that I
have succeeded in losing my first 7 pounds in weight. The actual weight loss
happened quicker than expected. My first weighing happening on July 8th, and I had
dropped the 7 pounds in weight on July 29th approximately 1 week ahead of
schedule.

Conclusion

There is no doubt I felt a renewed level of confidence and determination after doing
the visualization exercise.
Whether or not the specific anchor trigger has worked I am not, yet so sure.
I find myself remembering the visualization exercise as I walk toward the filling
station for example rather than the events I was actually visualizing, and so far have
had no need to rub my wrist as a trigger to give me the extra burst of will power.
In many ways I don’t actually mind.

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The exercise overall has created a change in my outlook and brought the sights and
feelings of when I took part in sports to the forefront of my mind and I am determined
to continue with the progress I have made.
I intend to repeat the visualization exercise on a monthly basis as I believe this will
give me the momentum to continue to progress.

Learning Contract 2

Objective: Changing my response to my regional manager

On completion of the 3 day NLP teaching block I realized that a contract I wanted to
work on that would be a development area that I am personally keen to work on is
changing my response towards my regional manager, I felt this would be a good
opportunity to experiment with my new skill.
As an objective “I want to change my response towards my boss” obviously isn’t very
clear, as there are various responses and triggers.

Background

My Regional Manager is called Clare. Clare and I worked together as store managers
approximately 9 years ago in TK Maxx, we were friendly with one another, and she
supported me when I was seconded into the position of area manager (thus becoming
her line manager), then I decided to leave the business to per sue a promotional
opportunity as a general manager with Tesco. Clare was offered my position of
seconded area manager. I realised that I had made an error leaving TK Maxx and met
up with Clare to tell her I wanted to return to TK Maxx. Clare had organized with her
then regional manager and HR for me to return to the business as a store manager.
Since my return approximately 4 years ago, the business has restructured at field level
which resulted in Clare being promoted to regional manager. My personal view is that
Clare is out of her depth in her new role whilst I feel somewhat indebted to her for
bringing me back to TK Maxx- my skepticism to her ability causes me to question her
decisions and becoming defensive, feisty and angry. This is compounded by me being

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nervous due to feeling like she is still punishing me for leaving the business
previously.
I was brought back on a higher area manager salary than when I left and Clare also
gives me a lot of additional responsibilities on my return. However,
I feel that she has become resentful because of this renumeration and therefore puts
me under more pressure and has higher expectations of me than any other store
manager in my opinion.

Applying Academic Literature

When explaining the benefits of NLP to the unknowing, almost certainly one of the
replies will be “But that’s just manipulating people.
Manipulation in our society has many negative connotations, almost all going back to
Machiavialli (1532) who, in his work “The Prince” advocates disregarding all moral
and ethical rules.
Our natural instinct is to say this approach is wrong, Orren (2010) agrees, arguing that
Machiavialli’s approach may bring short term gain, but cannot be sustained. From a
person involved in the business of sales this is undoubtedly true as they almost always
seek repeat business.
With that in mind, Machiavialli’s (1532) quote from “The Prince” is most relevant,
“Because a man who might want to make a show of goodness in all things necessarily
comes to ruin among so many who are not good. Because of this it is necessary for a
prince, wanting to maintain himself, to learn how to be able to be not good and to use
this and not use it according to necessity (Ch.15, p.91).
Machiavialli is basically issuing a warning that there are many people willing to take
advantage of a persons good spirit.
In this contract, the first example of me being slightly mean spirited is the initial
attempt of Clare to build rapport by matching. Clare, perhaps taking Doherty and
Thompson (2010) a little too literally, when they write of the objective being to be
similar, and to mirror the other person. It is doubtful they anticipate NLP practioners
doing Marcel Marceau type mimes to mimic every behavior of their “target”
The building of rapport however, was obviously important to her. I immediately
switched tactics. By behaving in a way that was completely contradictory to how the

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she expected me to behave (ie: I was cool, calm and collected), I was able to control
the conversation.
The process of building rapport is theoretically quite simple (figure 3). Having
created a situation where the manager was desperate (this is a meta filter of mine), to
build rapport and being constantly rebuffed, it was no surprise that when I began to
match my manager, she received no resistance, this meant a quick and smooth
transition to the pacing stage, where the I used the same language and speed of
speech.

Figure 3: Building Rapport.

The opening of the conversation saw me use a text book example of Contingent
Reward. Thompson (2010) writes “If you do X, I’ll give you Y”. I told her that I
would support her and alleviate her pressure.
Having determined earlier that the she displayed a preference for kenesthetic
descriptors, I asked her to imagine us working together. This is an important issue as
not only does it display my use of language that will appeal to her, it also
demonstrates that I have attempted to understand her role from the her point of view.
Fisher and Ury (1990) wrote in their book “Getting to Yes” that understanding the
other sides problem is not simply a useful activity that will help you solve your
problem. The difference between your thinking and their thinking IS the problem.
They suggest putting yourself in the other persons shoes, and see the world from their
perspective.
My new found acuity for body language led me to conclude Clare’s movement was to
get me onboard to give her support in the context of her position this isn’t necessarily

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a bad thing. In their research both Birdwhistell (1970) and Mehrabian and Morton
(1967) emphasise the amount of communication that takes place non-verbally.
Although some controversy has grown around what Mehrabian believes is a
misunderstanding of his “7-38-55 Rule), in that people often quote 93% as the figure
for non-verbal communication, (Mehrabian claims it only valid for the specific work
they undertook in the research, ie. Like/dislike questions) it is clear a significant part
of what we mean is conveyed by our actions, demeanour, and facial expressions.
Birdwhistell (1970) for example claims “no more than 30-35% of the social meaning
of a conversation or an interaction is carried by the words.” Leaving between 65-70%
as nonverbal.
I need to find out if Clare is a detail person or a big picture person then apply the
Chunking technique as detailed below:
Doherty and Thompson (2010) highlight the importance of understanding your
audiences criteria and then operate using that criteria rather than your own. This
includes tailoring your message with a level of detail that suits the audience, a process
known a “chunking” They also
suggest that by increasingly
chunking down we will uncover
greater levels of detail.

For example a question that

would suggest chunking up,
would be “Can you tell me
generally what that would be an
example of?”, perhaps in
response to a detail person telling
us they want to purchase a
“XBX-5215”

In chunking down, we may begin

with a general question “Generally where would you like to go?”, the answer may
“Belfast”. Or equally the big picture person may tell us, they want to go to Belfast.
To chunk down, we may ask “Is there a specific reason for going to Belfast?”, they
may answer “to go shopping”

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We can continue chunking down, “Is there anything you specifically want to buy?”,
they could answer “Some shoes”.
In this example we would have used chunking to take a “Big Picture” participant and
chunk down until we get the level of detail we require.
On reading the theory around ‘perceptual positions’, the exercise guides towards
having the ability to cleanly move between the perceptual positions, consciously or
unconsciously to allow the person (me) to act with greater wisdom and appreciate the
complexity of what is happening- when I understand the complexity, I will have more
choice. None of the positions is superior to the other. Most of us naturally spend more
time in one of the three positions- first, second or third. The differing perspectives
help you to understand any situation better and know ‘reality’ more fully. The use of
the ‘perceptual positions’ allows you quickly to get to the key filters that affect yours
and others behavior. (Doherty and Thompson, 2010)
1st position- What’s important to me?
2nd positon- What’s important to them?
3rd position- What’s important to note from the outside?

Approach

Before her next visit to my store (TK Maxx, Boucher Road), I used the skills learnt in
the Perceptional Positions exercise to attempt to put myself in her position. In order
to do that, I first needed to understand a little more about her. By doing some research
into her pressurized job role, I established that she was going through a lot of change
as recently a new Senior Vice-president had been appointed as her line manager
Putting myself in her position, I imagined how she must be feeling with the change of
line manager and new expectations of her role, I then looked at myself, energetic,
driven and snapping at her heels for her job role (and possibly sensing that I believed
I should be in her job role).
I’m now going to put into practice the ‘perceptual positions’ exercise:
In 1st position, I associated myself into my normal experience with Clare, seeing what
I saw (my body language- very poor, defensive and dismissive), hearing what I heard
(Clare’s defensive and dismissive tone of voice towards me) and feeling what I felt,

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(angry and agitated), I thought of the outcome that I wanted to achieve ( changing my
response by being positive), I thought of what was important to me (building a good
relationship with Clare). My advice to myself is that I need to change and fast.
In 2nd position, I stepped out of my own experience and into the body and experience
of Clare. I assumed her beliefs, values and perspectives. I noted from her eyes how I
must look during our heated discussions (agitated and stand-offish), Using an equally
aggressive tone (matching me). How I felt watching myself speak from Clare’s
perspective (awful, almost insubordinated). In essence, for me to achieve the outcome
I want, (which is: changing my response towards Clare), I would need to change
Clare’s experience in order to become aligned to the outcome I want.
In 3rd position, I have come away from Clare’s experience and also disassociated from
my own experience, I’m now in a 3rd position where I am disassociated from the
event- I’m imagining a glass wall, smoke screen between me and the other two
involved in the argument. I’m viewing the interaction and the advice I’m giving to
myself is that we both have the wrong impression of one another and we could easily
achieve a positive outcome if we both let our guards down and worked together and
built rapport..
Upon Clare arriving at the store, my plan was quite straightforward:
(a) Build initial trust using rapport(match-pace-lead)
(b) State my desired outcome - “I want to support you and show you what I
can do therefore I’m going to change my response to you”
(c) Get her involved in the process – “Be cool, calm and collected, react
differently towards her”
(d) Understand her needs – “Is there anything else you would like me to do in
the region to alleviate your pressure”
(e) Match a solution to her needs “Let’s do this- I’m here to support you”

Unfortunately very quickly my plan fell apart, as I started to recognize many NLP
techniques being used on me (was Clare wanting to build a better relationship with
me?). Clare was mimicking how I was sitting, very unsubtly adjusting her position
when I did, and saying things like “Imagine how fast the business is growing- you
want to set yourself up to take over the next region”.

19
Upon hear that line, a couple of questions came to mind. Had she picked up me
talking in a visual way? Or was she simply projecting her own preference?
When we took a walk around the store, her own preference started to become more
apparent, I picked up that she “felt” a lot of things and unlike the earlier conversation
it didn’t seem forced and wasn’t in response to comments I was making.
At that point I went back to my original plan, but trying to be as subtle as possible.
Rapport was built quite quickly, however I did start using the same terms she was
using as I felt this would help with the pacing stage of building rapport. Regardless it
appeared to put her at ease, and definitely contributed toward the objective which was
the outcome to change my response. As she relaxed she also slowed her pace of
speaking, sometimes actually not finishing his sentence but giving enough
information to know what she meant, I consciously slowed my own pace but managed
to finish my sentences.
She had commented to me. “You seem different today- I like it”

Outcome

After Clare said this, I reverted back to my previous response (angry and agitated),
and realised this approach on its own accord wasn’t working for me- Clearly I hadn’t
actioned the ‘perceptual positions’ technique in the way I should have- I recognized
that when looking at the event from the 3rd person perspective, I was drawn back into
the 1st position because of the energy of the argument and didn’t advise myself as I
should have. (I will need to practice this technique a few more times.)
I had prior to this meeting tried the ‘swish’ technique on myself and realised that I
was struggling the read the ’new behavior trigger technique’ script (Doherty and
Thompson, 2010), while visualizing my undesired behavior and desired behavior. I
sought help from someone I trusted to help me with the technique in a safe
environment and really believe upon our next meeting (she has been on holidays for 3
weeks), that I can ‘swish’ (my undesired behavior was a red Tasmanian devil and my
desired behavior was cool, calm and collected business professional). Therefore my
objective of changing my response to my regional manager didn’t work- this is no
fault of the technique but more because I didn’t apply the correct technique- as I’ve
stated below in the conclusion I will use the other techniques of swishing, timeline

20
and chunking to achieve my desired outcome. I’ve since had a good chat with Clare
over lunch (built up lots of rapport),I alluded to doing the MBA, telling her I don’t
know what the future holds for me but that I planned to leave retail (she didn’t appear
as threatened when I said this and visually relaxed)- she opened up to me about the
nightmare and pressure that her job role brings. This clearly shows that my initial
fears were correct as I then asked her what her aspirations were (chunking up and
down), so using the NLP technique has helped me get what I want but I’ve recognized
I’ve more work to do on this contract.

Conclusion

Having a heightened acuity as a result of the NLP module allowed me to spot Clare’s
attempts at NLP to ‘match’ and build rapport with me this leading me to believe that
her outcome may be similar to my own.
Overall, I am convinced that NLP was a major factor in my ability to appear
‘different’ by focusing on the outcome, ”Perception is projection”(Doherty and
Thompson, 2010)
The perceptual positions technique was good at allowing me to view the situation
although I’ve recognized that I needed to take the emotion out of the 3rd position to
allow me to see clearly what I need to do and it’s also very important to use all three
positions not just focus on 1st or 2nd position.
In addition to the ‘swish’ technique and the chunking technique (which I’ve discussed
below), I’ve also realised that maybe using the ‘timeline’ technique (again which I
believe I would need support from someone else to) could be advantageous to help
change my sense of past events with Clare – this I will definitely look into doing.
This second contract has been a lesson on many different levels.
Firstly that these techniques actually do work.
Secondly, that the pre-transaction work is just as important as knowing the techniques
– especially for a beginner.
Thirdly, the techniques can be worked subtly into almost any situation and will allow
you to be in more control, giving you more confidence and composure.

21
Lastly choosing the correct NLP technique to use is the key, as I initially thought that
building rapport (after using perceptual positions), was the best technique but have
now realised the swish technique and timeline and even the use of the chunking
technique would work better- Put another way, each technique in NLP is useful in
different scenarios, knowing the right mix is pivotal to its success.

Leadership Discussion

Typically we would consider 7 styles of management, 6 from Bass (2008):

Contingent Reward
Management through Objectives
Intellectual Stimulation
Inspirational
Individualised Consideration
Charismatic

In addition, Robert Dilts (1996) identified a further style in his book “Visionary
Leadership Skills”:

Management by Exception

Throughout the Learning contracts we have examples of these styles being put into
practice.

In Contract 1, although it is very much a personal management exercise, we see the

author work through a number of styles. As it is an exercise focused purely on the
author we could argue that individualised consideration is the primary style being
used, however the most obviously explicit style used is “Management by Objectives”.

22
I, set a clear objective and a way to measure against that objective. I want to lose 7
pounds in weight each month, and will weigh myself once a week to measure
progress.
The personal mission statement created as part of the well formed outcome, could be
considered inspirational leadership, as the stated purpose is to give the author a
longer term tool to continue with the new healthier regime. The personal mission
statement acts as a personal cheerleader to me, reinvigorating me and reminding me
of the purpose of the exercise.
So, already in a learning contract that had no interaction between me and any other
individual we have already seen examples of 3 styles of leadership.
In the second contract, I begin to use a number of styles as they move towards
changing my response to me regional manager. First I offer a contingent reward, “I
want to support you and show you what I can do”, or “If you do X, I’ll give you
Y”. “Lets do this- Im here to support you” gave her a glimpse of what could be
achieved by simply agreeing to the transaction.
Within 2 fairly simplistic contracts, with limited interaction with other people, I
demonstrated 4 styles of management, moving between styles to cope with different
circumstances.

Leadership and NLP Conclusion

I began this paper discussing the intangible quality that leaders possess, and
concluded that whilst we know it when we see it, it is a very difficult thing to quantify
and to replicate.
According to Robert .J. House and Ram N. Aditya (1997), in their journal ‘The
Social Scientific Study of Leadership: Quo Vadis?’, leadership theory has been
around since the 1930’s, they concluded that there is no one correct definition for
what makes a good leader but lots of authors have tried to define it eg: there are 3000
studies listed by Bass, 1990.
Whilst NLP allows us to get closer to an explanation than any other field, it would be
wrong to think NLP was a new phenomenon. We can trace many of the
underpinnings of NLP back through many of the great philosophers and leaders.

23
Robert Dilts (1995) in his book “Strategies of Genius Vol. 1”, systematically breaks
Aristotle’s writings down and identifies many of the modern practices of NLP.
Describing him as a “modeler” and going on to applaud his ability to have a deep
understanding of the world he examined without ever being a specialist any any
particular field.
Dilts identifies Aristotles use of chunking when Aristotle writes “Thus we must
advance from generalities to particulars”, he later writes “all questions are a search for
the middle”, which Dilts identifies as Aristotle connecting the universal with the
middle.
Aristotles process for finding the “middle” is then broken down and compared to
S.O.A.R. a structure Dilt’s claims to be at the core of the NLP modeling process.
Dilts continues, identifying modern NLP thinking in much of Aristotle’s works.
Is that then a criticism of NLP ?
No, it is an affirmation that the building blocks of NLP are solid and based on
writings that go back over 2000 years.
Aristotle even divided the means of persuasion into 3 categories, they are now known
as Aristotles Appeals:

Ethos - Credibility. We tend to believe people we respect.

One of the key issues in any argument is convincing
the other party that you are someone who should be
listened to.

Logos - Logic. Persuading by means of logic.

Pathos- Emotion. Persuading by appealing to the other

parties emotion.

When we consider the 7 leadership styles we applied to the personal contracts they
could all be categorized in each of Aristotles Appeals.
Looking at real world examples of how Aristotle’s Appeals are applied in different
ways, we can find numerous examples, often with individuals with strong traits of a
particular Appeal pitched against each other.

24
Politics in my opinion, is a classic example, with the logic and reasoning of Al Gore,
pitched against the (then) likeable “good old boy” George W. Bush, or even the logic
and reasoning of Gordon Brown, against the media friendly, smiling David Cameron.
In business, we tend to experience more of the “Logos” style of management,
however, when we think of the battles over the years between Microsoft and Apple,
we think of the calculating, logical, geek, Bill Gates, and the charismatic pathos of
Steve Jobs.
Steve Jobs in particular, has brought emotion to business like no other leader ( some
may describe this as Jobs being cold-hearted and arrogant, others as an inspirational
leader). His presentations are legendary and the “reality distortion field” he seems to
transmit, makes people believe Apple have just invented an entirely new technology,
yet the vast majority of the time they haven’t, just repackaged an existing technology
in a new box and made it easier to use. He regularly uses words like “magical”,
“incredible”, and constantly asks “Isn’t that great ?”.
His enthusiasm, as we so often heard said about such people, is infectious. Is it really
though? Or do we not want to be the individual pointing out the Emperor is actually
naked?
But whilst we can argue about the degrees of logos, and pathos present in politicians,
or business people, the one characteristic that appears must be present is ethos. They
must be credible.
Is credibility the single measurement missing in NLP ?
In contract 2, none of the my management styles, rapport building, and leading would
have mattered if my manager didn’t already believe I wanted to change my response
the her.
Credibility gives them permission to begin the process of persuasion.
When we learn the skills of NLP, is credibility the piece that cannot be measured and
cannot be taught ?
When someone has credibility, or even just the appearance of credibility, we let our
acuity levels drop. It becomes much easier for them to manipulate the situation. It is
rare that someone wants to be the individual who spoke out for fear of looking a fool.
Especially in a situation where the person doing the manipulating is at a higher lever
in an organization.

25
When we consider this in the context of leadership within business, should we
consider then that in normal circumstances an audience is already pre-disposed to
being manipulated by their manager?
When we look at the example of Shackleton. He was the “manager” and leader of
the expedition, if a junior member of the team had suggested they build a boat they
may have had a very different response to the one Shackleton received.

Summary

In summary, it is clear that the techniques afforded by NLP are very powerful tools.
We have seen them applied by a beginner in NLP and have witnessed how they have
had a positive effect on the outcome.
We have explored the beginnings of NLP and discovered that many of the
underpinnings are based on the writings of philosophers such as Aristotle, and that
their collection under the banner of NLP, is like a “best practice” guide in how to
interact with people, get the best out of individuals, and also potentially how to get the
best out of yourself.

“Not often in the story of mankind has a man arrived on earth who is both steel and
velvet, who is as hard as rock, and soft as drifting fog. There was in his heart and
mind the paradox of terrible storm and peace, unspeakable……”

Carl Sandburg
Address to US Congress on the sesquicentennial of Lincoln’s birth February 12, 1959

26
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Appendices

Bass - Multifactor Leadership Questionnaire

31
The next instrumentation we used to describe my leadership style was the Multifactor
Leadership Questionnaire (Bass & Avolio, 1994) to measure subjects' perceptions of
transformational and transactional leadership styles.
I asked 5 members of my direct reporting management team to complete the
questionnaire- there were statements about leadership behavior, and they had to indicate
how often I engaged in the behaviours using the scale 0-4 (see scale on below table)
The results can be seen below:

Development areas for me clearly show as being:

(1) Management by exception
(2) Management by objectives
(3) Intellectual Stimulation

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 Score Meaning

4 4 4 4 4 Gillian gives a clear vision of what we need to accompolish 0 Never

4 4 4 4 4 Provides me with a clear view of the goals we want to achieve 1 Hardly Never

4 4 4 4 4 He Inspires others by focusing on the values and beliefs of the team. 2 Sometimes

4 4 4 4 4 Puts forwards ideas that challenge my ideos to provide me with the stimulation to change 3 fairly Often
Frequently, if not
2 3 2 3 2 He intervenes only when there is a problem 4 always

4 4 4 4 4 He rewards me when I succeed

3 3 3 3 3 Coaches each follower to succeed

4 4 4 4 4 Only changes things when they go wrong

4 4 4 4 4 Acts as a motivator for the team

4 4 4 4 4 Makes it clear what we have to do to be rewarded

4 4 4 4 4 mentors me

3 3 4 3 3 allows me to decide how to reach my goal

4 4 4 4 4 is views as someone who others would wish to work for

4 4 4 4 4 helps me to look at problems differently to provide resourceful solutions

3 3 3 3 3 provides me with the opportunity to do my best

4 4 4 4 4 gives reward for excellent performance

3 3 3 4 3 advises me personally

4 4 4 4 4 lets me know when I've reached my goal

4 4 4 4 4 encourages rationale problem solving

4 4 4 4 4 she believes she has gained the respect and trust of her followers

4 4 4 4 4 makes sure I have evidence of achieving my goals.

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33