ROMEO AND JULIET

THEME: COMEDY

PRODUCTION:

DIRECTOR: REMUS MACASERO

ASS. DIRECTOR: IEZL NATALICIO

SCRIPTWRITER: KIANA COMETA, DREW PESCASIO, NICOLE QUILANG,

PRICILA DE GUZMAN, ALTHEA MIJARES
MUSICAL DIRECTOR: IEZL NATALICIO, AZI ROSAS

MAIN CAST:

ROMEO: RAVEN CASTILLO

JULIET: JEFF DERIADA

LORD CAPULET: SEAN TUAZON

LADY CAPULET: ALLILEE HUNGOY

LORD MONTAGUE: ROJAN MOQUETE

LADY MONTAGUE: JULIA ALVAREZ

FRIAR LAURENCE: DALE SERDAN

NURSE: MARIEL ANGELES

PRINCE ESCALUS: AARON BALAGTAS

PARIS: CJ HANS CRUZ

MERCUTIO: WILFRED ALMENDRAS

TYBALT: RAM DE GUZMAN

BENVOLIO: CHRISTAIN VIDAL

WITH SPECIAL PARTICIPATION OF MR JOHN CHRISTOPHER NANTES!!!

YOURS TRULY, KIANA COMETA

 SCRIPT:

NARRATOR: Two households both alike in dignity,

In fair Verona where we lay our scene

From ancient grudge, break to new mutiny,

Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean:

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes,

A pair of star crossed lovers take their life:

Whose misadventured piteous overthrows,

Doth with their death bury their parents’ strife.

THIS NOT AN ORDINARY STORY OF ROMEO AND JULIET,

PLEASE DONT JUDGE US.

Scene 1: THE SHOWDOWN

(In the street of Verona, the Malupet and Camotecue suddenly
met and a conflict suddenly started)

Benvolio: My lord, the Camotecue are coming

Lord Malupet: Oh, look who’s here.

Lord Camotecue: Bakit na naman?

Lord Malupet: E salot kayo sa lipunan ehh

Lord Camotecue: Pag bakla salot agad? Hindi ba puwedeng malas
muna?

Lord Camotecue: Let’s just fight.

Lord Malupet: Huh! Game.

(Beklaban)
(Dance Showdown)

Lord Malupet: Charoterang sprikitik!

Lord Camotecue: Fezlaboom mo mars na super kalerki!

(Suddenly, the prince Escalus appeared and stopped the
showdown)

Prince Escalus: Mga shokoley! Stop this nonsense fight! If

this conflict will happen again, vanishment will happen.

Lord Malupet: The Camotecue started this fight!

Lord Camotecue: You are the one who attacked us!

Prince Escalus: Corazon, another chaos and death will

promulgate!
(Lights off)

Scene 2: THE ROYAL BALL

(Lord Malupet talking to Paris)

Paris: I want to marry Juliet. I want to marry your daughter,

Lord malupet.
Lord Malupet: Boylet, keri mo bang mag give ng junakis girlalu
ko?

Paris: Yes Madir este Lord Malupet.

Lord Malupet: Then I allow my daughter to be your wife. You’re

handsome, rich, and powerful. A perfect man for my lovely and
precious daughter.

Paris: Thank you my Lord.

(Lights OFF)
(Before the royal ball The nurse and Juliet have a
conversation)

Nurse: Juliet! Juliet? Juliet!!!...

Juliet: Yes yayey?....

Nurse: Are you ready for the royal ball?

Juliet: Emegheddddddd! Not yet yayey.

Nurse: What the heck?! The world is a big Quiapo, there’s so

much snatcher, maaagawan ka! Lumaban ka!

Juliet: Emeghed!..... Fine

Nurse: It’s time to pack up Lucy torres at ilabas si Gretchen

barreto!!

Juliet: emeghed were late!!!! Lets go now yayey!!

(Yayey proceed to dress Juliet and get ready to go to the
ball)

Nurse: Do you have an idea about Romeo? Emeghed! He’s so pogi

talaga! I know he’s a Camotecue but I just can’t resist his
charms!

Juliet: Hmmmm? Is that him?

(points at Wilfred)

Nurse: Go on and ask him for a dance. This is an opportunity!

Go go go!
(Juliet immediately run towards the Mercutio’s direction)

Juliet: Uhm hey? You’re Romeo right? Ma- may I dance with you?
(Romeo suddenly appeared)

Romeo: Uhm excuse me? I’m Romeo, shall we dance?

Juliet: Sorry, but Romeo is slim, manly, and good looking-

Mercutio: What did you say? My friend is not a pig! Ang

kaibigan ko’y tao hindi baboy damo!

Juliet: Uhm, I’m sorry for that, let’s dance Romeo

(The party ended)
 SCENE 3: AZOTEA

(Juliet is walking in the garden, amusing her face)

Juliet: (looking at the mirror) Oh look at you beautiful. Rosy

cheeks, lovely eyes, and kissable lips is all you’ve got. That
Romeo is not for you.
(pause)

Juliet: Look at those stars and moon, blessed for witnessing

this beauty.
(Suddenly, Romeo wants a glance from Juliet)

Romeo: Oh dear, I’m also blessed to witness this goddess.

(Juliet suddenly noticed someone staring at her from a far)

Juliet: Hellooooo? Who’s there?

Romeo: It’s just me, your lover, Romeo.

Juliet: The man who I met earlier?

Romeo: Yes, my love. I can’t sleep without thinking about you,

about us. Let me confess my love for you.
(kissing Juliet)
Juliet: What have you done? (blushing) I’ve never experienced
this kind of pleasure. Take me Romeo, take me.
(Lights OFF)

Romeo: I’d love you but let’s get married first.

Juliet: But I’m ready!!! Ready for you...

Romeo: Let’s meet tomorrow morning at the church.

Juliet:(SIGH) For you my love, I’ll do it.

(they hug each other)

(Lights OFF)
 Scene 4: THE WEDDING DAY

(Romeo and Juliet go to the church and ask the priest to get
married)

Friar Laurence: Do you Romeo, take this woman as your one and
only wife?

Romeo: I do
Friar Laurence: Do you Juliet, take this man as your one and
only husband?

Juliet: I do

Friar Laurence: Does anyone of you against this wedding?

(kroo kroo)

Romeo: Uhm father, it’s just the three of us.

Friar Laurence: Juliet, are you sure that you’re not getting
forced to continue this wedding?

Juliet: Yes father!

Friar Laurence: Is that your final answer?

Juliet: Pak na pak father!

Friar Laurence: And now, I pronounce you as husband and wife.
You may now kiss the bride.

Scene 5: THE HONEYMOON

(After the wedding both of them proceed to the bed room)

(Romeo carrying Juliet going to the bed)

(Sexy music)

Romeo: I can now be all yours Juliet....

Juliet: Oh wait darling, pause for a minute. Let me change

first.

Romeo: But why, my love

Juliet: Trust me you will love it.

(Juliet immediately change her clothes)

(Sexy music)

Juliet: Did I make you wait so long?

Romeo: Not long enough....

Juliet: Are you ready baby?

Romeo: I’m ready..

(Juliet suddenly fell to Romeo)

(Music)

(lights off)

Romeo: Your so fast Juliet....

Juliet: I love you to the moon and back and pak, pak, pak, My
Romeo.
Romeo: I love you Mi Amour, watshiwa anata, iche liebedich,
iniibig kita, wo aini.
(Music)

Scene 6: BRIDGE
(Because of the sudden marriage of Romeo and Juliet The gang
of Camotecue blocked the Malupet)

Tybalt: Mga etchoserang palaka! I want to see Romeo, where is

he?

Mercutio: How dare you speak to us? Dont even try me!!! You
want warla?! Romeo is not here. Get lost!

Tybalt: Huh! Warla? Gusto mo masira feslak mo?!

I challenge him into a showdown

(Suddenly Romeo arrives)

Mercutio: Romeo let’s show this bastard what we can do.

Romeo: Mercutio I don’t want a fight.

Mercutio: Corazon!! Nababakla ka na ba

Romeo: Ahhhhh!! Tybalt, I want to hit you with a ddu du ddu
du!
(Dance showdown)

(Lights off)

Scene 7: THE POISON

Friar Laurence: The prince find out about the fight and vanish
you from the land.

Romeo: I’m ready to take all of the consequences, Please take

care my love Juliet.

Friar Laurence: I will Romeo.

(Romeo left the town of Verona while Juliet was stuck longing
for him)

Juliet: Oh my Romeo, I just can’t believe you left me

miserable, lonely, and incomplete.
(Paris suddenly arrived)

Paris: Oh Juliet, what makes your face look so sad? Romeo will
never come back.
(Juliet hugged Paris)

Juliet: Oh Paris! He loved me at my worst, you had me at my

best, but binalewala nya lang lahat and choose to break my
heart.
Paris: Wag mo kong mahalin dahil mahal kita, mahalin mo ko
dahil mahal mo ko, because that is what I deserve.
(Lights off)

Paris: If being with you is a crime, then I am ready to be

guilty.
(Music)

Paris: Juliet, just let me love you

(Kuya big brother)

(Lights on)
(Juliet is talking to big brother while drinking milk tea)

Juliet: Kuya I’m starting to fall inlove with Paris because

you know! Romeo is not around! My tiny beautiful heart is not
complete! But minsan when I’m with Paris I feel complete,
happy, and loved! I can’t help it Kuya!

Kris Aquino: Omoyghod what kind of kagagahan is that?

Amoy pawis na ba kayo? What you gonna do? Downy Rub-ada-bango,

downy’s ruba-dabango.
(downy’s commercial)

Boyet: Juliet I thought that you’re not like that anymore.

Alam mo Juliet para kanang si Aubrey..

Kuya Big Brother: Gano ba katagal ang minsan?

Juliet: Big brother? Kuyaaaaaa!! Kuya big brother(Choking)

(Juliet suddenly overdosed with milk tea)

(Lights off)

Scene 8: THE COMEBACK

(Benvolio was alarmed by the death of Juliet and bring it

immediately to Romeo)

Benvolio: Romeo! Your love Juliet has died.

Romeo: I must go to her immediately.

(Romeo was blocked by Paris)

Paris: Romeo, you’re nothing, but a second rate, trying hard,

copycat!

Romeo: May relasyon ba kayo ng asawa ko?!

Paris: Relasyon?!

Romeo: Kirida, kabet, mistress, number two relasyon!

Paris: Romeo did you know that marriage is like an exclusive

village, kaylangan mong bantayan para di makapasok ang
squatters!!!
Romeo: Don’t Romeo Romeo me! Fight me as a man!
(Dance Showdown)

(Romeo won the dance showdown)

Romeo: Juliet! Juliet my love! Where are you?

(Romeo found Juliet and kissed her immediately, Juliet woke up
seeing Romeo)

Juliet: Paris? My love?

Romeo: Paris?! I deserve an explanation, I deserve an

acceptable reason!

Juliet: There was never an us, and there will never be an us.
So please, wag mo kong landiin.

Romeo: Am I not enough? Am I ugly? Am I replaceable?

Juliet: Yes! yes. I was never your partner I’m just your
wife..

Romeo: But I love you and that is true.

Juliet: Ayoko ng tinatapakan ako! Ayoko ng masikip! Ayoko ng
mabaho! Ayoko ng walang tubig! Ayoko ng walang pagkain! Ayoko
ng putik!
(Romeo drink the milk tea and suddenly choked with pearls)

Juliet: Romeo? Romeo?! Emegheeeeeed!!!! Hindi lahat ng gusto

mo makukuwa mo!!

Paris: My Juliet, you’re alive!

Juliet: Yes Paris, I’m alive. I love you from the bottom of my
heart
(Juliet kissed Paris)

(THE END)

(Music)

Kiana: Please welcome, the cast of Romeo and Juliet from the
grade 9 saint Philip!