WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS

WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS
A Looking At Cohabiting Couples, The Tradition Family

between a Male & Female And Same Sex-Families
-Antonio Bernard
Part 23
HOW SAFE IS SAFE SEX ?
Sexperts everywhere urge teens,
“Be safe. Use a condom.” The way they praise

condom protection, you might mistake this thin
layer of latex for the Great Wall of China. But it
isn’t working.
Despite the hype, many teens tune out the

condom evangelists. Among Americans who
sleep with multiple partners, only one in six
consistently uses condoms. 1 Even worse, no
one has shown that condom education can
slow the STD epidemic.
- None of These Diseases: The Bible's Health Secrets for the 21st
Century"
- Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters,by
andS.Redefining
I. M.D. McMillen, David
It Has Social E. M.D. M.D. Stern
Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/ 
HOW SAFE IS SAFE SEX ?
Much evidence suggests that it actually boosts
the spread of STDs. When the Medical Tribune
challenged the Centers for Disease Control, the
CDC couldn’t cite a single good study
“demonstrating significant HIV risk reduction
due to prevention.” 2
The CDC themselves admit: “Behavioral science

theory suggests that educational messages
about a disease and how it is transmitted will
have little impact on behavior change.” 3"
- None of These Diseases: The Bible's Health Secrets for the 21st
Century"
- Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters,by
andS.Redefining
I. M.D. McMillen, David
It Has Social E. M.D. M.D. Stern
Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/ 
- Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters, and Redefining It Has Social Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/ 
LifeSite News reports: .”..after 40 years of
sex-education in the US, sexual promiscuity has
skyrocketed, leaving approximately 1 in every 4
Americans currently with an STD. ...infection rates [for
a new disease] were “4 times higher among those who
used condoms during their last vaginal intercourse.”
How effective are condoms?
Are condoms an effective form of birth control?
Yes. Studies have found that about one in 50 women

using condoms perfectly over an entire year of sex will
experience a pregnancy. If you take into account people
who use condoms incorrectly, they are still highly
effective, with a rate of 15 pregnancies occurring out of
100 women having sex over a year (1). When you use a
condom correctly, it’s a very effective form of birth
control—and protection against sexually transmitted
infections
- Ryan T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters, and Redefining (STIs).
It Has Social Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/ 
Do condoms protect against all STIs?
It depends. They are most effective against STIs which are
transmitted through bodily fluids. Consistent and correct
use of latex condoms or internal condoms is associated
with a significant reduction in the combined incidence of
gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis in women considered to
be at high-risk for contracting STIs (2, 3, 4). If you have
penis-in-vagina sex with a condom, you are 80% less likely
to contract HIV, compared to sex without a condom .
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO CONDOMS
In an effort to help curb the spread of
AIDS,STI/STD and Pregnancy through
the introducing of condoms and safe
sex education programs, while
neglecting to promote abstinence
until marriage .
The results have been quite the

opposite “In the act of endorsing
protection from disease, theses ads
also endorse its cause, namely,
sexual promiscuity.”
THE ONLY SAFE SEX
THE ONLY SAFE SEX IS TO GET MARRIED

AND BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE
TRUE LOVE
"True love isn't just expressed in passionately whispered words or an

intimate kiss or an embrace; before two people are married, love is
expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid.”
― Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Relationships and Romance
"Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity
to love another person like God has loved us.”
― Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude
Toward Relationships and Romance
"Love, lifted out of the realm of passion and impulse, becomes
spiritualized, and is revealed in words and acts. A Christian must
have a sanctified tenderness and love in which there is no
impatience of fretfulness; the rude, harsh manners
must be softened by the grace of Christ.”
―Adventist Home, page 51, paragraph 3
"To love as Christ loved means to manifest unselfishness at all times and in all
places, by kind words and pleasant looks. These cost those who give them nothing,
but they leave behind a fragrance that surrounds the soul. Their effect can never be
estimated. Not only are they a blessing to the receiver, but to the giver; for they
react upon him. Genuine love is a precious attribute of heavenly origin, which
increases in fragrance in proportion as it is dispensed to others.”
―Letters To Young Lovers, Ellen G. White , pg. 16-17
WHAT IS LOVE
“We have forgotten that love is about giving,
not getting.In the world in which we live in sex
education is essential - and inevitable. Ideally,
children will receive it naturally and imperceptibly
from the time of their birth as part of a happy, natural
and sensitive family life. But although not every child
will have that reassuring experience, all of them,
whatever their home circumstances, will gather
information, truth and misconception from the
environment in which they live.”
-Whatever Happened to Sex by Mary

Whitehouse pp. 26, 27, 189, 190, 193, 195
TRUE LOVE
“It is a part of the normal experience of growing up
that a child meets up with the sexual folk-lore of his
contemporaries. If, in the course of his play or in the
secret whisperings of the playground he hears
something that he finds unbearable or inconceivable,
it is stored in 'the shady side of the mind", even
temporarily forgotten, until some new turn of
experience brings it the surface again. It is in this way
that the child's mind, with it's own mechanism of
protection, assimilates only what is ready and able to
cope with.”
Whitehouse pp. 26, 27, 189, 190, 193, 195
CHRISTIANITY & MARIAGE
“Respect for women, and for the family, lies

at the heart of the Christian faith, so that when
we destroy the one, the other dies. Without the
family there is no stability, no security, no
foundation upon which the children can depend
as the experience of post-Revolutionary Russia
so clearly demonstrated. ”

Whitehouse pp. 26, 27, 189, 190, 193, 195
“The Blessing of Monogamy”
The moral rule of monogamy essentially means “to
each his own.” A wife does not have to compete with
others for her husband’s love. No wonder women were
especially attracted to Christianity.
“The Blessing of Monogamy”
As columnist Rod Dreher writes, “Christianity, as
articulated by Paul, worked a cultural revolution,
restraining and channeling male eros, elevating the status
of both women and of the human body, and infusing
marriage—and marital sexuality—with love.”
“Who’s on the Wrong Side
of History?”
Critics argue that the Christian church must change its
sexual morality or risk being left behind—being “on the
wrong side of history.” But history proves the exact
opposite. The church’s sexual morality is one reason it
grew so explosively in the early centuries, especially
among women.
In the surrounding Roman society, wives had little
status. Freeborn men married wives to obtain legal
heirs, but it was accepted that they would seek sexual
satisfaction with girlfriends, mistresses, prostitutes,
courtesans, other men, and, most of all, household
slaves—male and female, adults and minors
(typically post-puberty adolescents and teens). Wives
had to compete with a host of other people for their
husband’s love and attention.”
“Most infidelity took the form of sleeping with one’s
own slaves. For example, Horace recommends that a
man vent his sexual energies on his slaves because
they were readily available. If “there is a slave-girl or
a home-grown slave-boy ready at hand, whom you
could jump right away,” why not? He adds, “I like
sex that is easy and obtainable.”
Historical records show that wives often
complained about their husband’s unfaithfulness,
but it did little good. A first-century poet writing in
Rome even chastises wives for being jealous when
their husbands have sex with slave boys. He
admonishes wives to accept the fact that “intercourse
is more pleasurable with boys than it is with
women.” There is a reason the god of love, Cupid,
was portrayed as a boy.
“To Each His Own”
Christianity was radical because it channeled male
sexual desire into marriage as the only acceptable outlet.
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage

bed kept pure” (Heb. 13:4). As a consequence,
Christianity greatly elevated the status of women while
protecting everyone else from being treated as fair game
for sexual seduction or predation.
“To Each His Own”
The principle is enshrined in the Ten Commandments:
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife” (Exod. 20:17)
—or his slaves or his children or himself.”
Sex Desires and Appetites :
  Sex God has given us natural desires that can be

gratified lawfully or unlawfully (Gen. 3:6).
“When God made us He gave us many different

appetites... But God looked at the being He made
and to whom He had given all these appetites and
urges and said, 'It is good!”
Paris Reidhead , (Finding the Reality of God, pg 141)
 
  •A. We have a natural desire for food (Gen. 2:16).

•B. We have a natural desire for sexual relations (Gen.
1:28; 2:24).
•C. We have a natural desire for well-being (Gen. 2:18). 

•D. The natural desire God has created us with are
good, not evil (Gen. 1:31).  
 
  •Now temptation is not sin. Temptation is the

proposition presented to the mind that you can satisfy a
good appetite in a forbidden way. Temptation leads to
sin.... Sin is the decision of the will.... sin is the decision
to gratify a good appetite in a bad way."
Paris Reidhead (Finding the Reality of God, pg 141-142)
•“Don’t mistake temptation for sin. Temptation is a

suggestion to gratify a desire in an illegal way or
amount. Temptation is not sin. Jesus was tempted.”
-Winkie Pratney (Youth Aflame, Bethany House, pg. 83).  
 
  •“The bodily appetites and tendencies of body and

mind, when strongly excited, become the occasions of
sin. So it was with Adam. No one will say that Adam
had a sinful nature. But he had, by his constitution, an
appetite for food and a desire for knowledge. These
were not sinful but were as God made them. They were
necessary to fit him to live in this world as a subject of
God’s moral government. But being strongly excited led
to indulgence, and thus became the occasions of his
sinning against God. These tendencies were innocent in
themselves, but he yielded to them in a sinful manner,
and that was his sin.”
-Charles Finney (You Can Be Holy, published by Whitaker House, p. 215).

 
•"We have a nature that is capable of being perverted
from legitimate to illegitimate, from the natural to the
unnatural, from the pure to the polluted." Sin is to
"pervert... natural, legitimate, human desires."
-F. Lagard Smith (Troubling Questions for Calvinists, page 134-135).
•"Evil isAugustine(Confessions
making a bad use of a good thing."
and Enchiridion, trans. and ed
. by Albert C. Outler, Philadelphia: Westminster
Press, N. D, page 326-338, section 36).  
 
Sex More Than an Act, It is a
State of Being :
  •Sex is more than an act. It is a state of being. The sex

hormones flow through the entire body and have their
effect on tissues, on emotions, on the philosophical
outlook on life. A man is a man, not because he looks
like one, but because of basic physical and psychological
developments from the moment of his conception.
When a man is all man, and a woman is truly feminine,
they will attract each other.  
(Christian Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12;)
 
State of Being :
  •This attraction is built into their humanity. The sexual

flow and counterflow between men and women goes
on all the time, every day - on the street, in the market
place, in the office. The degree of attraction varies, and
sometimes the direction varies, depending on such
circumstances as time and place, and the background
conditioning of those concerned. But the potential is
always there.  
 
State of Being :
  •What develops from this attraction depends on the

choices of the people involved. It may vary from a
barely recognisable awareness of the other's presence, to
a flirtation, to courtship, to the most intimate relations.
But the point is that sexuality is one of the basics of
human existence. As Christians we must recognise that
these sexual instincts, as all other drives, must be kept
under rational control.
 
 
State of Being :
  •The intimacies of the marriage bed allow both husband

and wife to demonstrate that they care for each other
on a higher level and to a greater degree than they care
for anyone else. In the merging and blending of their
lives certain stresses and tensions will normally develop.
 
  Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12;)

(Christian
State of Being :
  •Sexual union helps to ease these tensions. Sex must not

be mistaken as an end in itself. It is not the main reason
for getting married, and it follows that lack of it must
not be the main reason for getting a divorce.'
 
 
WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS
A Look At Cohabiting Couples vs. Marriage couples

and on its impact on parenting and society at large
Undermining the institution of marriage it is not surprising that the young generation
of today have lost all sense of values. In 2002 the Centre for Policy Studies
conducted a study on couples who were just living together and not getting married.
The results showed and proved that couples who were living together were less likely
to stay together after a child was born than a couple who was married.
“Cohabiting couples are far less likely than married ones to stay together after
the birth of a child, according to a research published yesterday. More than half
of cohabiting couples split up within five years of a baby arriving while only a
quarter of those who are married separate within the same period.”
(METRO, Monday, February 11, 2002) http://adrianmcqueen.blogspot.com/2011/06/sex.html
“ The The report, called Broken Hearts, was released by the
Centre for Policy Studies to draw attention to what the
centre calls the disintegration of the family."
(THE TELEGRAPH 2012) Unmarried couples more likely to split after birth of child
- Ryanhttps://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1384481/Unmarried-couples-more-likely-to-split-after-birth-of-child.html
T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters, and Redefining It Has Social Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/ 
“ Researchers Jill Kirby, who is also a consultant to the Conservative Party, said unless
society recognised the family was under siege there was no hope of reversing the trend.She
said that while, 30 years ago, it was exceptional for children to be raised outside the married
family it was now commonplace. The children must be put first, she added."
(THE TELEGRAPH 2012) Unmarried couples more likely to split after birth of child
- Ryanhttps://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1384481/Unmarried-couples-more-likely-to-split-after-birth-of-child.html
T. Anderson, “Marriage Matters, and Redefining It Has Social Costs”https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/01/11880/ 
Children are less likely to thrive in cohabiting households,
compared to intact, married families. “On many social, educational,
and psychological outcomes, children in cohabiting house-holds do
significantly worse than children in intact, married families, and
about as poorly as children living in single-parent families.”
“Why Marriage Matters :Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences’
-Institute for American Values National Marriage Project, page 7
“And when it comes to abuse, recent federal data indicate that
children in cohabiting households are markedly more likely to be
physically, sexually, and emotionally abused than children in both
intact, married families and single-parent families. Only in the
economic domain do children in cohabiting households fare
consistently better than children in single-parent families.”
“Why Marriage Matters :Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences’
-Institute for American Values National Marriage Project, page 7
Family instability is generally bad for children. In recent years, family
scholars have turned their attention to the impact that transitions into and
out of marriage, cohabitation, and single parent-hood have upon children.
This report shows that such transitions, especially multiple transitions, are
linked to higher reports of school failure, behavioral problems,
drug use, and loneliness, among other outcomes.
“Why Marriage Matters :Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences’ -Institute for American Values National Marriage Project, page 7
So, it is not just family structure and family process that matter for
children; family stability matters as well. And the research indicates
that children who are born to married parents are the least likely to
be exposed to family instability, and to the risks instability poses
to the emotional, social, and educational welfare of children.
“Why Marriage Matters :Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences’ -Institute for American Values National Marriage Project, page 7
RESEARCH INDICATES CHILDREN DO BEST
WHEN RAISED BY MARRIED MOM & DAD
Sara McLanahan of Princeton University, one of the world’s leading scholars
on how family form impacts child well-being, explains from her extensive
investigations: “If
we were asked to design a system
for making sure that children’s basic needs were
met, we would probably come up with something
quite similar to the two-parent family ideal.”
(Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What
Hurts, What Helps, (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1994), p. 38)
RESEARCH INDICATES CHILDREN DO BEST
WHEN RAISED BY MARRIED MOM & DAD
"Such a design, in theory, would not only ensure that children had access
to the time and money of two adults, it would provide a system of checks
and balances that promote quality parenting. The fact that both adults have
a biological connection to the child would increase the likelihood that the
parents would identify with the child and be willing to sacrifice for that child
and it would reduce the likelihood that either parent would abuse the child.”
(Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What
Hurts, What Helps, (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1994), p. 38)
“Most researchers now agree that together these studies
support the notion that, on average, children do best when
raised by their two married, biological parents.”
(Mary Parke, “Are Married Parents Really Better for Children?” Center for Law and Social Policy, Policy Brief (May 2003): 1)
“An extensive body of research tells us that children do
best when they grow up with both biological parents. …
Thus, it is not simply the presence of two parents, as some
have assumed, but the presence of two biological parents
that seems to support child development.”
(Kristin Anderson Moore, et al., “Marriage From a Child’s Perspective: How Does Family Structure Affect
Children, and What Can We Do about It?” Child Trends Research Brief (June 2002): 1.)
“Overall, father love appears to be as heavily
implicated as mother love in offsprings’
psychological well-being and health.”
(Ronald P. Rohner and Robert A. Veneziano, “The Importance of Father Love: History and
Contemporary Evidence,” Review of General Psychology 5.4 (2001): 382-405)
“When young boys have primary caretakers of both sexes, they are
less likely as adults to engage in woman-devaluing activities and in
self-aggrandizing, cruel or overly competitive male cults.”
(Mary Stewart Van Leeuwen, My Brother’s Keeper: What the Social Sciences Do (and Don’t)
Tell Us About Masculinity, (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2002), p. 121)
-Deborah A. Dawson, “Family Structure and
Children’s Health and Well-being: Data from the
National Health Interview Survey on Child
Health,” Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53
(1991): 573 -584
“Health scores are 20 to 35

percent higher for children
living with both biological
parents, compared with
those living in single or
stepfamilies.”
“We should disavow the notion that ‘mommies can make
good daddies,’ just as we should disavow the popular
notion of radical feminists that ‘daddies can make good
mommies.’ …The two sexes are different to the core, and
each is necessary – culturally and biologically – for the
optimal development of a human being.”
-David Popenoe, Life Without Father: Compelling New Evidence That Fatherhood and Marriage are
Indispensable of the Good of Children and Society, (New York: The Free Press, 1996), p. 197)
No Reliable Research
Indicates Children in Same-
Sex Homes Do As Well
REFERENCES BELOW
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/mc08vpdjz1gzke0/
AAAQ517HZnf5ntn9jVX4dxxua?dl=0
-Antonio Bernard , dindinbernard1@hotmail.com
Part 23

WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS - A Looking at Cohabiting Couples, The Tradition Family Between A Male & Female and Same Sex-Families

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A Looking At Cohabiting Couples, The Tradition Family

“Be safe. Use a condom.” The way they praise

Despite the hype, many teens tune out the

The CDC themselves admit: “Behavioral science

Yes. Studies have found that about one in 50 women

The results have been quite the

THE ONLY SAFE SEX IS TO GET MARRIED

"True love isn't just expressed in passionately whispered words or an

-Whatever Happened to Sex by Mary

“Respect for women, and for the family, lies

-Whatever Happened to Sex by Mary

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage

Sex God has given us natural desires that can be

“When God made us He gave us many different

•A. We have a natural desire for food (Gen. 2:16).

•C. We have a natural desire for well-being (Gen. 2:18).

•Now temptation is not sin. Temptation is the

•“Don’t mistake temptation for sin. Temptation is a

•“The bodily appetites and tendencies of body and

-Charles Finney (You Can Be Holy, published by Whitaker House, p. 215).

•Sex is more than an act. It is a state of being. The sex

(Christian Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12;)

•This attraction is built into their humanity. The sexual

(Christian Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12;)

•What develops from this attraction depends on the

(Christian Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12;)

•The intimacies of the marriage bed allow both husband

Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12;)

•Sexual union helps to ease these tensions. Sex must not

A Look At Cohabiting Couples vs. Marriage couples

“Health scores are 20 to 35

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  Sex God has given us natural desires that can be

  •A. We have a natural desire for food (Gen. 2:16).

•C. We have a natural desire for well-being (Gen. 2:18). 

  •Now temptation is not sin. Temptation is the

  •“The bodily appetites and tendencies of body and

  •Sex is more than an act. It is a state of being. The sex

  •This attraction is built into their humanity. The sexual

  •What develops from this attraction depends on the

  •The intimacies of the marriage bed allow both husband

  Sex and Family Planning by Raymond H. Woolsey pp. 8, 9, 12;)

  •Sexual union helps to ease these tensions. Sex must not