THE SINGLE GEMINI

Regrets of Not Marrying in Your Entire Life

Thesis Statement: Love coming from the opposite sex, sharing of one’s
misery, and building up families are the unmarried
person’s regrets of not marrying in her entire life

I. Introduction
A. Importance of marriage
B. Purpose of writing
II. Life of married couple
A. Nothing separates
B. Blessings gained
C. Doing of planning
III. Love of each other
A. Outcomes
1. Happy together
2. United together
B. Trust
1. Stronger relationship
2. Longer relationship
IV. Sharing of one’s misery
A. Open as one
1. No secrets
a. No secrets in the family
b. No secrets in each life
2. No frustrations
B. United as one
1. Happy life
2. Blessful life
V. Building of family
A. More happiness
1. Physical happiness
2. Emotional happiness
B. More planned
1. Children
a. Number of children
b. Disciplined of children
2. Future
VI. Conclusion
THE SINGLE GEMINI
Regrets of Not Marrying in Your Entire Life

Maria Darlene D. Bedro

IV-St. Anthony
St. Mary’s Academy
Dalaguete, Cebu

“ Now to the unmarried and to all the widows, it is good for them to remain as

they are, but if they cannot exercise self control, they should marry, for it is better to

marry than to be on fire” (New American Bible. 1 Cor. 8:9).

Better get married than never because you will experience happiness, love and

contentment. Happy are those who are married because they can inherit the things they

want. There’s the love that will go deeper and deeper each day that you’re together. Love

should be present in both individuals or else the relationship is useless.

Love makes your relationship strong. Love also makes you open and united as

one. You will be united and open with the anxieties and problems in life. As a result, both

of you will be happy together.

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 As you get married you will become better person in the family and a good father

to your children. Getting married is not an easy task or a simple choice to take. This is the

time wherein you will encounter the sorrows and joys of life. Sorrow will come at the

least expected. Thus, we should not take for granted all the possibilities we have to face if

we prefer to enter into a married life.

There is joy when there is satisfaction in needs. Building a family is the main

goal. This family will serve as the inspiration to decide on what to do. Having a family,

which you can be proud of in the future.

Life is like a wheel, sometimes up and sometimes down. Some will get married,

some will stay single and others will pursue their vocation in life. Moreover, they will

sacrifice their own happiness just for the sake of others instead of getting married. No one

could ever blame them; they’re just manifesting their sympathy to others.

We can’t hinder our own perception because they get into their minds without

knowing why and when It’s hard to forget the past episodes which brought pain and

depression but taking into consideration that there are also ways on how to beat all these

pains and finally got to move on to the next door to freedom. One of which is by getting

married. If you get married, you will have someone who can count on and lean on. You

will have someone to cry on and laugh on. You have someone who take care of you and

love you not only for today but also for eternity. If you will get married, there is someone

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who will share your trials and problems. The main results of being a single at a very

unreasonable age are no love from the opposite sex, no one whom you can share with and

above all you can’t build up your own family.

LIFE OF A MARRIED COUPLE

Life of a married couple is between the husband and wife. They are the most

important elements in a happy marriage. The need for warmth and love must start with

the father and mother in the home. Happy marriage life is also a successful life. No

matter what the obstacles are, there must still be presence of cooperation. Each must have

a role in the house. Each must have an obligation to ponder. According to Smith,

“Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated often

moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between

them.”(71) This implies a unity between the husband and wife. Thus, it can make their

relationship to become stronger. As a result, nothing will separate the two of them.

Furthermore, in a married couple, blessings will be gained. Through these blessings

coming from Jesus Christ your house will be called a home. A happy marriage life means

a happy home. Why not a house? There’s a vast difference. A house is a dwelling place

surrounded by walls while a home is a place where there is system and order, where joy

reign, where song and cheer and hope are the constant atmosphere, where the couples

recognized their obligation, and above all where the works of God are studied and

learned are the blessings that married couple gained in their life.

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 Getting married is much better than staying single for the rest of life. It is the time

wherein person will experience how to be loved by someone special. The time where

there is the present of someone that you can lean on. Above all is having a family, which

serves as your inspiration and happiness. The act of getting married is much better if it’s

more planned. Others say that they are afraid to get married because they do not want to

experience miserable life. According to Espineli, “Life of married couple depends on how

they should plan their married life. I’m so happy now because I’m contented with my

life. Before we get married, we planned well all the things needed so that our relationship

will last long. We shared well our ideas and plans in the future. As a result I’m very much

happy now living with him. (2005)

Having a successful married life involves the act of planning. For marriage is a

lifetime course, where there is no graduation. Unfortunately, many couples take this

course without thinking. As a result, they just get part ways. The only thing they think is

applying for marriage license. But marriage goes far beyond family and sex. Married

couple must think on how to become their relationship stronger. There are subject areas

that engaged couples, should look into before enrolling in this course.

Anticipation of marriage calls for preparation. For marriage need full preparation.

Firstly, both must be ready in all the consequences they will encounter. Secondly, they

must oblique to the responsibilities as parents someday. Thirdly, they must promise to

live with each other eternally.

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 If athletes prepare for competition for long period of time to insure success and

victory, how much more should those lifetimes partnership do so? In this country,

marriage is for keeps. It is “till death do us part”- not “till divorce do us part.”

LOVE OF EACH OTHER

Another thing married person can have is the love coming by someone

special. Happy married life is the result of having love that shows as respect because God

made each person unique. He does not compare one with another. God respects each

person’s individuality- his power to think and to do so.

Loving someone means accepting as what he is-his strength, weaknesses,

potentials, shortcomings, his past and future. As a result, both can attain a happy

relationship or married life. Both are united to do things together because there’s already

the present of compatibility

In addition to that is trust. Trust is one aspects of love. It is a capital that one can

invest in a person she is related to especially with the husband or wife. Without trust, the

other person ceases to be a loved one. A person who has no trust in another becomes

more sensitive and easily gets threatened. Thus, he or she nags demand, suspects other

person. It may take time for him to be truly trustworthy yet he grows because of the

climate that has given as a respond to him. Some relationship fails because they lack trust

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for the person they loved. In loving someone, trust is really there. Trust must be in each

other’s heart. This having trust can make the relationship stronger and longer.

On the other hand, unmarried person cannot experience a special love, the trials of

gaining trust because they are single. It finds a hard time, for them in their journey

because they have nothing in hand. As a result, they may long for the love that truly

comes from heart and can only be given by the husband or partner in life.

SHARING OF ONE’S MISERY

Married person easily fines someone to cry on and lean on if they have problems

in life unlike the unmarried one. Unmarried person cannot easily open up or share what is

there problem for they find it hard to trust someone. Furthermore, they are afraid to

express what they fail because trust is not that easily be obtain with someone.

However, married person easily speaks what is bothering him because of his

husband or partner. She can easily share all her secrets because she can fully trust her

partner. Moreover, in expressing thy feelings with each other, the more their relationships

become stronger and more pleasant as time goes by. The wife will more love his husband

because each other know already their secrets. They have exchanged their fears, likes and

dislikes, ambitions in life and what both hope for in the future. They tend to be an open

individual at all.

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 Trials and problems will get in the way between married lives. No

disappointments or frustrations are gained for each decision is being likely shared.

Opinions are likely asked between the husband and wife. Furthermore, each opinions will

be talked about thus, leading the trials and problems be solved. Then success will get in

the way because both are helping each other to find the solution.

BUILDING UP A FAMLIY

Building up a family is what married couples must plan. This is also the one

which unmarried person regrets for not getting married. If they fail to build up this kind

of society, they will not be married and stay single as they are. A family is a group of

people living together; often related by marriage, birth, or other strong bonds. One strong,

skilled person usually the husband is ruling it. He is responsible in taking care of his

children. He will look for their future, their needs in life. A family serves as inspiration of

a married couple.

Unmarried person fails to make this one. And they experience regrets at all. This

family is where their life revolves. The family is their center in life. It is in this society

where they strive more and more in order to make them happy. Families’ need the help of

Maslow’s hierarchy classifies as most basic: food and shelter, safety and security, love,

affections, and feelings.

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 Food and shelter are the basic needs of family. The father is responsible for giving

all these needs because he is the head of the family or the breadwinner. It is important

also that the husband must know his role in the family. The husband is the head of the

home. A father, who is a patriarch, is strong yet loving and compassionate. The father

must know the limitations of his children. In order to commit a happy family life, the

father must comply with his responsibilities in home.

Both husband and wife must shared love and affection. Within the family, there

must be love between them. Knowing each strength and weaknesses are very important.

Sharing one’s problem is the way to know some important matters within their selves. It

is in this kind of field that the other members will know their problem. In order for this

problem to be solved, participation is needed.

Problems will little by little solve upon discussing it with the members. A family

is such a true happiness especially if you have respectful daughters and sons. According

to Duenas, “I’m so happy now because God give me children that are very responsible,

respectful and loving. They are helping my husband and me with the financial support.

My eldest daughter is already a graduate of accountancy and she is working now in the

bank. She bought dresses for her younger sister. And I’m very much proud with him.”

(2005) With a daughter like this, is such a true happiness. It is not only physical

happiness that it brings but also emotional one.

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 Happiness is state of mind, an emotion within one’s soul, a particular type of

energy in one’s thoughts and mind that allows a fast flowing physical energy into one’s

life. If you have a family of your own, this is the time wherein true happiness expands in

your heart. Having a family can add more happiness in a married life. They will serve as

your inspirations. This family filled up your longing of someone especially if you will

have daughter that you can be proud of.

Prior to it is the emotional one. It is happiness within you. Having a family that is

always happy is such a good vitamins in a married life. Conflicts and problem are easily

solved provided all the members in the family are complying with their responsibilities as

children of their parents.

In a family, the number of children must be planned accordingly, because children

are what couples considered as great success. Children were an essential source of labor

in the family economy and a source of support in an old age. Children are there source of

inspirations. In order to commit peaceful surrounding and happy life, the number of

children must be planned. The couples must undergo the family planning process. They

must agree the number of children they will raise. It is important to avoid conflict

between the two of them. As daughter and son, you must know your obligations.

Everybody must be moving to know where you stand in the family. Mothers are still the

principal nurtures and caretakers of their children, but the norms of parenthood have

shifted.

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 Fatherhood literatures are changing along with the actual behavior of father and

children in real life. Until recently, a father could feel he was fulfilling his parental

obligations merely by supporting his family. The father is expected to spend time with his

children when his work is done. He is expected also to discipline his children.

Furthermore, your children will become more responsible and respectful to you.

The more you will train your children into a better person, the more they will know their

usefulness as part of the family. Some parents will just do not care to the welfare of their

children even though their children will no longer respect them as they are. They do not

care what their children are doing to them. Others say that it is because of love but many

children are abusing to that kind of love.

In order that the married couple will become happy, they must be close to their

children. Spend some time with them. Let them share what is inside their heart and mind.

Above all you must discipline them to become a better person or children towards you

and towards others. In addition, before it’s too late, both must plan for the future of their

children or siblings. Getting them educated is one of their major goals. Through

education, their mind will be open to the knowledge of the world. Future of the children

should be in your mind before anything else. Their brighter future depends only in your

hands. The two of you must work with each other for brighter future of their children.

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CONCLUSION

Unmarried person cannot experience how to be loved by someone special. The

care of special someone is what he or she need. It is a care which usually comes from the

bottom of the heart. It’s not only the physical doings but also the emotional one. This

special feeling which is from the heart is what they called LOVE.

Furthermore, you do not have someone to cry on and lean on with your sufferings.

Life is somewhat different if you have someone in your side. If you have problems, then

he is there ready to help you. If you need someone who is ready to listen with your

anxieties then you can find comfort with your partner. He will give his shoulder for you

where you can cry on. Tensions and problems will be relieved if you will share it with

your partner in life, your husband.

A family is a true happiness. If you will not get married then you cannot build up

this one. You cannot build up a family of your own. Unmarried people nowadays are

depending only to their brother or sister for financial support. They lack care coming

from a child or a husband in their life.

If you do not want to experience being alone for the rest of your life, get married.

For it’s better to get married than to be on fire.

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 WORK CITED

BOOKS

Ausburger, David. Love and Marriage. Herald Press: 1971.

Duberman, L. “Step-kin”. Journal of Marriage and The Family. 1973.

Fabella, Armand T. The Best of Love, Courtship and Marriage. Manila, 1986.

___. New American Bible, The. William H. Sadier and Thomas Nelson (Publisher). 1979.

Prince, Alfred J. Why Some Never Marry?. 1969.

ELECTRONIC SOURCES

Kallijian, Verne. http://www.marriagerequest.org/ 14 Feb.2006

Thomas, Jacob. http://www.stepfamily.com 13 Feb.2006

http://www.charminghealth.com/self-help/prevent-emotional-imbalance.htm 13

Feb.2006.

OTHER SOURCES

Bustamante, Pacincia. Personal Interview. 26 Dec. 2005.

Duenas, Helen. Personal Interview. 26 Dec. 2005.

Espenile, Victoria. Personal Interview. 26 Dec. 2005.

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