School of Languages & English

Pre-Advanced: Reading & Writing

Writing Feedback Cover Sheet 2: FINAL DRAFT

Student
Name: Nguyen Phuong Linh L9937983
number:

S51810Q Sipho 19/12/2018

Class: Teachers: Date:
Word 425
Count:

Click on the box to cross ☒ Changes I made after feedback:

it
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I have used font size 12 ☐ Organisation ☐
I have double spaced ☐ Grammar ☐
Vocabulary ☐

Student self – assessment: Select Good OK or need to improve for each area

Response & Revision Grammar

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Correct sentence
Used teacher feedback structure, subject
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to improve verb agreement and
punctuation
Structure & Planning Vocabulary
Logically ordered,
cohesive (linking words, Good New vocabulary OK
pronouns)
Made and followed a Spelling & Word
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plan. Forms

I confirm this is my own work……………………………………………………

 School of Languages & English
Pre-Advanced: Reading & Writing

Nguyen Phuong Linh

L9937983
S51810Q

Identify the positive or negative effects of science on food

There is no doubt that food science was invented to satisfy people’s demand, such

as when people wanted their food to be preserved for a long time, scientists created

preservatives. However, the impact of food science on people’s life is becoming a

controversy among the society. This essay will analyze two considerable positive and

negative effects of food science to the community.

Growth hormone injections in animals is one apparent result of food science.

Provided that farmers utilize these drugs to increase the size of livestock, people’s health

will be threatened when they eat the food. To illustrate, Clenbuterol is an amine which

cures breathing problems. It has a side effect that when it is injected into pigs, the

production of fat toward accretion in protein will change, therefore, pigs grow faster and

this will decrease the amount of food required for the livestock. For this reason, the drug is

used illegally commonly around the world. However, scientists point out that giving

Clenbuterol to livestock negatively affects both the pigs and humans. Due to the rapid

muscle production in pigs, the animals cannot relax and become more aggressive.

Furthermore, meats containing Clenbuterol is less organic. Consequently, people eating

them will experience symptoms such as nausea. In 2009, more than 70 Chinese people in

Guangdong were recorded to suffer stomach aches and diarrhea after eating these pig

organs.

Another achievement of food science is preservatives. The usage of preservatives

can make food lifespan will be expanded to be kept longer. For example, peaches
 School of Languages & English
Pre-Advanced: Reading & Writing

generally can only last for 4 days. However, canned peaches which contain sodium salt

as preservative are able to be stored approximately 2 years. Preservatives are believed to

be a solution to many problems, especially in famine. In 2016, Vietnamese government

supported people who were in emergency situation after a serious flood in Quang Binh

province with 30000 instant noodle packages. Instant noodles are added monosodium

glutamate, therefore they can still be consumed for several years. Although there is an

argument that consuming food which has preservatives can make children suffer from

hyperactivity, according to the Environmental Health Perspectives in 2007, it is not certain

that whether there is a relationship between food preservatives and hyperactivity.

In conclusion, despite some negative effects, science on food provides some

positive effects as well. From my perspective, food science will continue developing in the

future, and scientists will work on overcoming the drawbacks. However, consumers

should be aware of potential dangers from food science and update nutritional information

frequently in order to have a healthy diet.

Word
s: 425