Union Biblical Seminary

Bibvewadi, Pune

Paper Presentation Date: 12th November 2018

Subject: Advanced Pastoral Care and Counselling
Topic: Counselling LGBTQ (Sexual Minorities and the Church)
Presenter: Rev. Jomy Mathews Thomas
Facilitator: Dr. Sunita Noronha

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

1. Definition of LGBTQ
1.1. Lesbian
1.2. Gay
1.3. Bisexual
1.4. Transsexual
1.5. Transgender
1.6. Two-spirit
1.7. Queer
1.8. Questioning
1.9. Intersex
1.10. Asexual
1.11. Ally
2. Theology of Sexuality
2.1. Biblical Theology
2.2. Christian Theology
2.3. Biblical Understanding in the Light of Liberal Thinking
2.4. Pastoral Theology
3. Church and LGBTQ
4. Problems of LGBTQ
5. Pastoral Care and Counselling for LGBTQ
5.1 Counselling Attitude
5.2. The Tips for Overcoming Counsellee’s Resistance to Change
5.3. The Tips for Sustaining the Change
5.4. Steps in Counselling
CONCLUSION
Bibliography
Journal
Online Journal
Online Resource
News Paper

1
 Counselling LGBTQ
(Sexual Minorities and the Church)

INTRODUCTION

LGBTQ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer. The people who belong to
this community are facing lot of problems in relation with their sexual orientation and gender identity.
They are isolated in the society, in their churches and even in their families. It is the responsibility of
the church to take care these people irrespective of their sexual orientation. Since church is an
inclusive community, church has to extent their helping hand to the LGBTQ community. The paper
gives some glimpse for how they can be helped to live an esteemed life.

1. Definition of LGBTQ

LGBTQ is the umbrella term for all folks who have a non-normative gender or sexuality.1

1.1. Lesbian

A woman is sexually attracted to other women.2She has the capacity to be attracted romantically,
erotically, and emotionally to other women.3

1.2. Gay

A man is sexually attracted to other men. Gay also sometimes refers to Lesbians.4

1.3. Bisexual

“a person who is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to people of their gender and
another gender. This attraction does not have to be equally split or indicate a level of interest that is
the same across the gender or sexes an individual may be attracted to.”5

1.4. Transsexual

“a person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were
assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies hormonally and surgically to
match their inner sense of gender/sex”6

1
Sam Killerman, “Glossary”, in Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender
Diversity: A Guide to the Churches in India, edited by Philip Kuruvilla (Narpur:ISPCK,2017) , 27.
2
A S Hornby, Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary of Current English, edited by Sally Wehmeier
(Oxford: Oxford University Press,2005), 880
3
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity: A
Guide to the Churches in India, …26.
4
George Zechariah,” Church and Homophobia: Envisioning an Inclusive Church,” Christian
Responses to Issues of Human and Gender Diversity: A Guide to the Churches in India, edited by Philip
Kuruvilla (Nagpur:ISPCK,2017), 4.
5
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity: A
Guide to the Churches in India, Philip Kuruvilla, 24.
6
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity: A
Guide to the Churches in India, … 29.

2
 1.5. Transgender

“A person who lives as a member of a gender other than that assigned at birth based on anatomical
sex”7

1.6. Two-spirit

It is a modern umbrella term is used to describe gender-variant individuals in their communities by

some indigenous North American. One who is two-spirit is having both male and female spirits within
them.8

1.7. Queer

It is “used as an umbrella term to describe individuals who don’t identify as straight. Also used to
describe people who have a non-normative gender identity, or as a political affiliation. Due to its
historical use as a derogatory term, it is not embraced or used by all members of the LGBTQ
community. The term “queer” can often be use interchangeably with LGBTQ”.9

1.8. Questioning

One’s gender, sexual identity and sexual orientation are under the process of exploring by the people
who are concerned about applying a social label for various reasons.10

1.9. Intersex

“combination of chromosomes, gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals that differs from
the two expected patterns of male or female. Formally known as hermaphrodite ( or hermaphroditic),
but these terms are now outdated and derogatory”11

1.10. Asexual

One who is “experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others and/or a lack of interest in sexual
relationship/behavior. Asexuality exists on a continuum from people who experience no sexual
attraction or have any desire for sex, to those who experience low levels, or sexual attraction only
under specific conditions, and many of these different places on the continuum have their own
identity labels”.12

7
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity: A
Guide to the Churches in India, …. 28
8
https://ok2bme.ca/resources/kids-teens/what-does-lgbtq-mean accessed on 10-11-2018.
9
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity: A
Guide to the Churches in India, …. 27.
10
https://ok2bme.ca/resources/kids-teens/what-does-lgbtq-mean accessed on 10-11-2018.
11
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity:
A Guide to the Churches in India, …. 24.
12
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity:
A Guide to the Churches in India, …, 23-24.

3
 1.11. Ally

The person who support and respect members of the LGBTQ community. The active allies actively
support and give respect to LGBTQ members.13

2. Theology of Sexuality

2.1 Biblical Theology

God created human in different models; male and female and are resembled to God’s image in certain
limited ways. In Bible, God is considered as sexless being. The Bible says that “God is father, but he acts
as a caring, nurturing mother toward his people” (Deut. 32:18; Ps 131; Is 42:14; 49:15; 66:13).14 The
fundamental understanding of marriage in the Bible is considered as a husband-wife one-flash relationship
as it is seen in Genesis 2:24. Jesus and Paul often refer this passage in the context of human sexual
activity.15 God’s standard of human sexuality in the Bible is considered as most important. The teaching of
adultery is emphasized more than teaching of idolatry in the Old Testament. Christ and apostles stressed
more on faithfulness in the marriage. Paul included sexual sin in every list of sins. Human sexuality is one
of most wonderful gift from the Lord.16

Some gay scholars advocate that Jesus was neutral with regard to homosexuality. Though Jesus did not
much talk about homosexuality in the Bible, He reaffirms the importance of permanent heterosexual
monogamy.17 According to those who are sympathetic to homosexuality, God’s judgement on Sodom had
happened not because of people who loved and had committed gay relationship, but because of terrible
violation of the custom of hospitality by having gang rape.18 As the Bible is considered as commentary on
this issue, in the first chapter of Isaiah, the nation of Judah is scolded through the comparison with Sodom
and Gomorrah. The sins which are mentioned in that passage are greed, rebellion against God, empty
religious ritual without true devotion to God, failure to plead the cause of orphans and widows, failure to
pursue justice and failure to champion the oppressed. Homosexuality cannot be seen as sin. The same
things are repeated in Ezek. 16:49-50; Luke 10: 10; Jude 7. Homosexuality is not included in the list of sins
while these passages talk about sin of Sodom and Gomorrah.19 But Robertson Mcquilkin and Paul Copan
says in the book titled An introduction to biblical ethics walking in the way of Wisdom that the New
Testament reinforces the fact that one of Sodom’s sin is homosexual practices” based on 2 Pet 2:7; 2 Pet
2:10; and Jude 7.

13
Sam Killerman, Glossary, Christian Responses to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity:
A Guide to the Churches in India,…..23.
14
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom (Illinois: Inter Varsity press, 2014) 220.
15
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ...288
16
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ..219
17
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ..288
18
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ..289
19
Letha Scanzoni and Virginia Ramey Mollenkott, Is the Homosexual My Neighbor Christian View?
Another (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1980) 58-59

4
The text Levi 18:22, 23; 20:13 prohibited a man lying with a man as with a woman.20 Robertson Mcquilkin
and Paul Copan added in their book the thinking of Boswell. It says that “homosexuality is condemned in
the Mosaic law, but because of its association with idolatry or cult prostitution (cf. Deut 23:17). These laws
are in the same category as kosher food laws prohibiting shrimp or pork”.21 Robertson Mcquilkin and Paul
Copan say that it is misleading argument. They continue in their argument based on Leviticus 18 that the
Canaanites were punished because of immoral acts, not because of dietary preference.22

The other passage that talks about homosexuality is Romans 1:26-27. People exchanged their
natural function into unnatural, filthy acts so that God gave over them to degrading passions. A common
response for this passage is that the act of homosexuality is not condemned, but it condemns when people
go against their own natural sexual orientation. So someone who is naturally homosexually oriented shall
not go against his sexual orientation. But at that time, Paul did not have the concept of sexual orientation.
The words exchanged and abandoned in Romans chapter one do not represent simple inclinations but
acting on them.23

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul asserts that fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate,

homosexuals, thieves, the covetous, drunkards, revilers, or swindlers will not inherit the kingdom of God.
He includes sins of homosexuality and effeminate with other sins like sins related to possessions, idolatry
and sins of heterosexuals. In the Roman colony of Corinth, the male head of the Roman household often
bought male slaves to use as passive sexual partners. Roman law sanctioned this practice. But, if the slave
took sexual initiative on male Roman citizens, that was a crime. Here Paul states counter-culturally that
both homosexual partners are wrong.24 In 1 Timothy 1:9-11 also Paul added homosexual in the list of sins.
In the light of these passages, God’s purpose for marriage has been reinforced.25 “That is, God ordained
exclusive, permanent, monogamous marriage as the only way to achieve the full unity of two human
beings, to provide children and home, and to reflect God’s/ Christ’s own relationship to redeemed
humankind.”26 Bible clearly condemns homosexual behaviour from the starting to the end, from Genesis 19
to Revelation 22:15.27

2.2. Christian Theology

Since human is created in the image of God, manifestation of presence of God is in him
among rest of creation. When the esteem of human is accepted, it is very difficult to brand a fellow
human being as LGBTQ. Isaiah 56 gives the glimpse of future through the Messianic prophecy.
Eunuch has responsible place in connection with the people of God. Sexual minority has been given
permission for leadership in the temple of the Lord. The hope is also given to the transgender. That
can be seen in Isaiah 56:3 “neither let the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” Also Isaiah 56:7 says

20
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom,.. 290
21
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ...290
22
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ..290
23
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ..293
24
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom.. 294
25
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ..294-295
26
Robertson McQuilkin and Paul Copan, An Introduction to Biblical Ethics Walking in the Way of
Wisdom ..295
27
Peter Coucins, Christianity Sexual Liberation (Sydney:The Paternoster Press, 1972) 18.

5
“for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.” The concept of image of God
includes the concept of sisterhood and brotherhood based on common paternity of God. As biblical
paradigm is taken as an example, Jesus accepted people as they are. The commandment of ‘love one
another’ has to be advanced with all the fervour of reach out to the sexual minority. There shall not be
any kindred-hood when it is not extended to the sexual and the gender minority. Human being can
help any section of society including the socially ostracised like the LGBTQ.28

Bill Johnson who was the Executive Director of the National Taskforce on Gay People in the
Church and a minister in the United Church of Christ holds the view that close kinship between
heterosexuality and patriarchy damages everyone. Gay men have different understanding of maleness
and human sexual relationship based on mutuality and equality. He blames church of being over
concerned for intellectual theology rather than grounding theology in experience. He urges gay people
to share their experience with God and reflect theology upon it. He says that on one can judge other
person’s faith. It is personal encounter with God. Pauline writing about same sex relationship is his
personal opinion. That has to be understood in relation with cultural back ground of his time.29

Sally Gearhart, American theologian says that patriarch has not completely taken the self love
from the lesbian. She claims that the lesbian has the courage to express this love after the thousands of
years of condemnation. She says that bisexual view of human nature happens due to the socialisation
that led into being heterosexual. Lesbians and gay men resist that socialisation. She finds naturalness
in same –sex love not in heterosexual. Malcolm Macourt, a gay Christian sociologist says among
theologians, only evangelicals oppose the lesbian and gay relationship. It demands greater intellectual
and theological stand in order to take this position.30

Jim Cotter, an Anglican priest cited the essay of a Roman Catholic theologian Teilhard de
Chardin. In Teilhard de Chardin’s essay, he believed that creation happened in the process of
evolution and the act of creation was incomplete. So, Cotter argues that according to this
understanding, the purpose of sexual organs cannot be fixed. While it is in the process of evolution,
sexual organs are adapting to meet new requirements. Cotter adopted analogy of eating to sexual
ethics. Eating is a fact of life neither it is right nor wrong. Though it is necessary to eat in order to
fulfil our own biological needs, it is more satisfying to eat with others. If something went wrong when
one eats excessively. That person suffer the consequence and adopt a healthy rhythm for it. But
ultimately there is no fixed rule for this.31

Giles Hibbert, Roman Catholic Theologian says that gay liberation is not a private matter. It is
concerned with the liberation of the whole society. According to his understanding, Christian tradition
has gone wrong. There is a large difference between belief and work, a split between faith and love.
Christians have traditionally made mistake in the application of the law. Paul’s teaching on same-sex
is culturally conditioned. The absolute commandment is to love one another (John 15:12). When this
love is unrestrainedly performed, the actual love is discovered. Sexual desires fuel the love.

28
Jacob Mathew, “An LGBTQ-Inclusive Christian Anthropology and Public Theology.” in A
Theological reader on Human Sexuality and Gender Diversities: Envisioning Inclusivity (Noida: ISPCK, 2017),
235-236
29
Elizabeth Stuart, Gay and Lesbian Theologies Repetitions with Critical Difference (Hampshire:
Ashgate Publishing Company, 1963) 15,16
30
Elizabeth Stuart, Gay and Lesbian Theologies Repetitions with Critical Difference ..16-17
31
Elizabeth Stuart, Gay and Lesbian Theologies Repetitions with Critical Difference..17-18

6
Homosexuals perform the same love when they love naturally. Restrain this self seeking love is like
avoiding the behaviour of love. This attitude is like treat other as an object.32

John J. McNeill, an American Jesuit theologian depicts two type of faith; mature and
immature. One who holds the immature faith confuses the will of God with external authorities and
confuses God’s voice. The other one who holds mature faith or healthy faith built directly on his own
experience. Mature faith is grounded in prayer. One who holds this faith has direct contact with God.
No church can touch their faith. The church is compelled to preach a belief system that fears and
punishes the freedom of thought. Mature religion enables to achieve, not moral perfection, but self
realisation (mat. 5:48). Mc Neill clearly encourages gay and lesbian people to have mature faith.33

2.3. Biblical Understanding in the Light of Liberal Thinking34

a. The liberal thinking says that the Bible cultural background is different from present culture. The
Biblical teaching on particular subject may not be applicable to us.
According to evangelical understanding, the culture of Rome and Greece does not have any
difference when it is compare to the present age in relation with sexual morality, including
homosexual practices. Sexual sins are as old as humanity.
b. The liberal thinking says that the Biblical writers made mistake in condemning the practices of
homosexuals, writers did not understand the problems these people face.
According to evangelical understanding, the homosexual orientation is caused more by parental
and community failure and strengthened by false Christian teaching. A psychologist, Dr. John
Court says that there is no scientific evidence that sexual deviations and homosexuality are
genetically determined. Ironically, there is enough evidence that sexual behaviour is learned.
c. The liberal thinking says that in the light of God’s love and forgiveness, the strict Biblical
teaching on sexual morality should be forgiven.
According to evangelical understanding, the so-called new morality which regards love of God
as permissive gives wrong interpretation of the Bible. The forgiveness which God freely gives
through Jesus is effective for those who believe in Him. One has to acknowledge sin in order to
receive forgiveness from God. God hates or shuns all sins.
d. The liberal thinking says that biblical teaching against homosexual practice is not applicable to
all the homosexual relationships but only to those who involved in idolatry and deviated from
heterosexuality.
According to evangelical understanding, Bible clearly says that homosexuality is sin in the
context of marriage (Gen. 2:24, Mat 19:3-9, Eph 5:21-32). The Bible also condemns the practice
of homosexuality act separately.

2.4. Pastoral Theology

Pastor should be more assertive on the program that attracts homosexual to church. The
theological implications that give shame, and reinforce dualism of gender and the hierarchy of
patriarchal marriage do not encourage homosexuals to come to church. Pastoral care giver must
concentrate on how to promote healing to the homosexuals and how to invite people into the holistic
relationships. Joretta L. Marshall gives three concerns for dealing with homosexuals. Firstly, it is

32
Elizabeth Stuart, Gay and Lesbian Theologies Repetitions with Critical Difference ..18
33
Elizabeth Stuart, Gay and Lesbian Theologies Repetitions with Critical Difference.. 20-21
34
“Christian Response to Gay Liberation A Statement by the Evangelical Alliance, Victoria,
Australia,” Evangelical Review of Theology, 4/2(October ,1980): 276-277.

7
good to properly understand what it means to be a faithful human being who experiences and acts on
sexual feelings. How Pastoral caregiver understands the dynamics of sexuality makes major
difference in perspective and attitude that Pastor has in his care giving. Homosexuals are not sinful
just because of they have sexual feelings. Sexual feeling itself is not sinful.35 “The homosexual
orientation apart from its expression in actions and behaviors is not itself condemnable.”36 Pastor
should help homosexuals in their search for wholeness and flourishing life instead of wasting time for
searching what they believe about God and guessing what pastor himself think about them. Secondly,
pastor caregiver must be watchful about the embedded theology of homosexuals. The ideal pastor
who gives pastoral care should listen to the perspective of others with deep care and empathy.
Thirdly, pastor has to encourage communities, families and individuals to be as self conscious and
thoughtful in their theological claims. This encouragement would help them to be hopeful to live in
the fullness of God’s realm.37 Jim Poling provides some suggestions in his book named Pastoral care
and social conflict that pastoral caregiver should lead the church from its present crisis of sexual
issues. He stresses that pastoral care and counselling should provide some adequate resources for
pastoral caregivers so that they can assist lesbians and gays in their respective churches. He believes
that education through dialogue is necessary as first step for solving the problem.38

3. Church and LGBTQ

The church should have the clarity on what the will of God is, about the life, and on purpose.
There shall not be any approval for anything less than God’s standard from the church. The church
also needs the courage to speak the truth in love. The love is not an absolute love if the love unjustly
denies the truth that sets men free. The love of God must be shown to homosexuals if they confess sin
and profess to be Christian.39 The church can give wholehearted support for the civil rights of the
homosexuals in spite of disagreement on the theological and moral appropriateness of homosexuality.
Providing civil right to the homosexual is a basic Christian commitment to social justice for all
persons. Even if the church considers homosexuality as sin, the church should not consider as crime
since public welfare considers homosexuality is not a crime. Effective pastoral care and counselling is
essential for homosexuals. A trained pastor can gain the confidence of homosexuals and can work
effectively. Therefore, the church should take initiative to train pastors for working among
homosexuals. 40

Paul in his letter to Ephesus (Eph.4:1-16) shares his vision of an inclusive church which stands for
diversity and difference. The inclusiveness is not a choice, but it is a basic character of the church.
Since homophobia is a sin in the context of the church, a homophobic church is a betrayal of the

35
Joretta L. Marshall, Alternative Visions for Pastoral Work with LGBTQ Individuals, Families, and
Comminities: A Response accessed on 25-10-2018 https://journals.sagepub.com /doi/full/10.1177/154
2305017693637
36
Stanley Grenz, Sexual Ethics A Biblical Perspective (Cumbria: paternoster press,1997) 234
37
Joretta L. Marshall, Alternative Visions for Pastoral Work with LGBTQ Individuals, Families, and
Comminities: A Response accessed on 25-10-2018https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full /10.1177/15423050
17693637
38
Horace L. Griffin, Revisioning Christian Ethical Discourse on Homosexuality: A challenge for
Pastoral Care in the 21st Century accessed on 5-11-2018. https://journals.sagepub.com/action/doSearch
?field1=AllField&text 1=pastoral+care+to+homosexual&field2=AllField &text2=&Ppub=&Ppub=& AfterYear
=&Before Year=& f
39
“Christian Response to Gay Liberation A Statement by the Evangelical Alliance, Victoria,
Australia”, Evangelical Review of Theology, 279
40
James B. Nelson, Embodiment An Approach to Sexuality and Christian Theology (Minnesita:
Augburg Publishing House,1979) 205,206

8
calling that the church, the body of Christ has received from God. Members to the church should
practice the spirit of reconciliation for unity in the bond of love and peace. Holiness is not something
that has to be achieved by sanitizing and insulting others from the sinful world. But holiness is an
invitation to become holy in the way of Jesus.41

4. Problems of LGBTQ

Homosexuality is acceptable in India among youth more than ever before. Now days, they openly
express their sexual identity even though there are struggles in their life. Ironically, in some parts of
rural area, some secret honour killings are happening in India. In other parts, lesbian women are
subjected to family-sanctioned rapes which are probably initiated by their own family members.42
Every day, there are news about ill treating homosexuals or sexual minorities from the frisking gate at
airports to the other public transport facilities and from workplaces, the worship centres, hostels and
medical centres.43 Some young people who know that they are gay are struggling in their
homophobic environment. Their families are also unable to give them support because they have
grown up in an environment where homosexuality is considered as sin. A majority of homosexuals
lead doubtful life. After their forceful marriage due to social pressure, they face sexual crisis when
they go for sexual preferences. This kind of incidences poses serious mental and emotional pressure
on gay and lesbian young people.44 In Scotland, the Government is making mandatory move for
government schools to teach LGBT+ issues in order to remove homophobia and discrimination. This
is the first move in the world. Campaigners opined that the move sent a strong and clear message that
LGBT+ pupils were valued in Scotland.45

5. Pastoral Care and Counselling for LGBTQ

The important aspect for counselling homosexuals is to make to understand their view about
themselves. They consider themselves inferior to heterosexuals until recent past. Now the trend has
been changed.46 The homosexuals consider “self acceptance is the first step to happiness”47. This self
acceptance helps them to accept one self, but obtains the acceptance in their community.48

A Christian view on homosexuality depends upon what he believes to be the cause of his
homosexuality. If a person believes that the cause for his homosexuality is genetic and it is God given,
the only option for counsellor is to accept him as he is. If a Christian who understands scripture
accurately and believe that his homosexuality is not God given but learned would have guilt
conscious. He may also have a strong desire to change. But it is not that much easy.49

41
George Zechariah, Church and Homophobia: Envisioning an Inclusive Church, Christian Responses
to Issues of Human Sexuality and Gender Diversity: A Guide to the Churches in India, Philip Kuruvilla Edit
(Nagpur:ISPCK,2017) 13,14.
42
https://www.livemint.com/Sundayapp/sAYrieZdZKEybKzhP8FDbP/Being-LGBT-in-India-Some-
home-truths.html Accessed on 10-11-2018.
43
Jacob Mathew, “An LGBTQ-Inclusive Christian Anthropology and Public Theology”, A Theological
reader on Human Sexuality and Gender Diversities: Envisioning Inclusivity.. 234.
44
Jione Havea, Becoming Sensual, with Public Study of Scriptures, Public and Sensual: Exploring
Solutions Bible Studies on Human Sexuality, edited by Christopher Rajkumar (Narpur: National Council of
Churches in India,2012) 13,14
45
“In a world first, Scotland wants LGBT+ topics in school syllabus,” The Times of India (Pune), 10
November 2018, 12.
46
“Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology, 4/2(October ,1980): 280
47
“Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology ..280
48
“Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology ..280
49
“Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology.. 280

9
 A Christian homosexual sometimes may go through despair, loneliness, idleness and self-pity.
During that time the mind would wander and frustrate since he is not able act out his sexual
tendencies. Along with that, they realize that they are wrong. This temptation may lead either to sin or
to obedience. The homosexual who finds his homosexuality is wrong, can change not only his
behaviour but also the orientation.50

5.1 Counselling Attitude51

1. Since Counsellee comes with an attitude of hopelessness, counsellor can give some hope for his
problem. That can be expressed verbally.

2. When Counsellee comes with the guilt feeling that he is a sexual pervert, Counsellor must
make them to acknowledge that problem is not only limited to sexual one, but it includes problems
like his relationship with parents and other relatives. This information may give some reliefs to
Counsellee.

3. Counsellor should appreciate all the efforts that Counsellee made in the past as well as any
effort made by the Counsellee will lead to change. The appreciation should be done at every time as
he expresses about it and makes it.

4. In the beginning of Counselling itself, Counsellee should be advised that all the homosexual
imagery will not be disappear from the Counsellee’s mind and should advice that at the reappearance
of imagery Counsellee should not be discouraged while in the Counselling session or later in life. This
would help the Counsellee to deal with fantasies or attractions when it appears. He will not discourage
easily.

5. The counsellor should consider the Counsellee as unique human being and do not expect as
typical man. Counsellor must not force the change. The homosexual are not usually aggressive with
women or actively involved in sports.

6. The Counsellor should treat Counsellee personally (man to man basis). He should discourage
any transference attempt from Counsellee’s side and the responsibility of Counsellee should not be
subtle transfer to the Counsellor.

7. The Counsellor must show the confidence in counsellee’s capacity for independent. The
Counsellee needs this encouragement in order to change his effeminate behaviour pattern.

8. Counsellor should express genuine and warm feeling for the Counsellee as he was able to
master the difficulty. Any non-erotic exchange of warmth can be helpful.

9. The Counsellor should support the past and present effort of Counsellee for building up the
appropriate female contact.

50
“Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology ..281
51
“Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology ..282

10
 5.2. The Tips for Overcoming Counsellee’s Resistance to Change52

1. It is important for Counsellor to make Counsellee to understand how he relates with the people
as he relates with parents.

2. The Counsellor should help the Counsellee to learn and understand why he withdraws from the
people who see him as male.

3. The Counsellor should help the Counsellee to understand that Counsellee has the freedom to
change his homosexuality in spite of the compulsion from people.

4. The Counsellor should find out how much difficult for Counsellee to change his
homosexuality.

5. The amount of encouragement is needed for Counsellee depend upon how much Counsellee is
passive and resistant to change his homosexuality.

6. Through the discussion, the Counsellor must understand thoroughly any past or present
homosexual affairs of Counsellee so that as a result counselling, Counsellee and Counsellor can
understand how the Counsellee reacts to homosexuality.

7. Since homosexual change is difficult and full determination is required for the change, any ill
feeling of the Counsellee must be discussed in the counselling.

5.3. The Tips for Sustaining the Change53

1. The Counsellee becomes conscious about the degree, time, and energy waited for homosexual
fantasies, impulses and acts.

2. Counsellor must make the Counsellee aware about the things which trigger homosexuality.

3. All homosexual attractions, fantasies, or practices must be traced back to their inception each
day. A detailed inspection of each that leads to homosexual act gives Counsellee a better
understanding of one or many mechanisms that trigger his homosexuality.

4. The Counsellee must be aware about the methods of short-circuiting attractions to people and
situations which trigger his homosexuality.

5.4. Steps in Counselling54

The frame work of reality therapy is the best method for Counselling homosexuals. The steps are
given below;

1. Counsellor should have the willingness to help the Counsellee.

a. Counsellor should not over react when Counsellor comes to know the Counsellee is a Gay.
b. Counsellor should honour the trust that Counsellee placed in Counsellor.

“ Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology ..282-283

52

“ Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology ..283

53

54
“Counselling the homosexual”, Evangelical Review of Theology ..284

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 c. Counsellor should separate the individual from the act.
d. Counsellor should have the genuine concern for the Counsellee and should show the hope in his
ability to change.
2. Counsellor should evaluate the present behaviour and help the Counsellee to see and evaluate.
a. Counsellor should help the Counsellee to recognise that homosexuality is sin according to God.
b. Counsellor should condemn the act, not the person.
c. Counsellor should emphasise the positive aspect of living according to God’s standard.
d. Counsellor should emphasise the negative aspects of living as homosexual.
e. Counsellor should show the homosexual that Jesus Christ is the answer for sin.
3. Counsellor should help the Counsellee to plan and Counsellee should be the person who plans.
a. Counsellor should make the Counsellee to understand that if the homosexual has a desire to
change, he must learn completely new way of life.
b. Counsellor should make the Counsellee to understand the importance of breaking off past
associations.
c. Counsellor should pray with the Counsellee for the Holy spirit guidance in re-constructing his
life.
d. Counsellor should not allow him to be isolated himself, but motivate him to participate in
mixed group activities.
e. Counsellor should encourage scripture memorisation.
4. Counsellor should encourage the Counsellee to take commitment for change and discourage the
excuses for change.
a. Counsellor should beware of excuses and lies.

It is hard to counsel homosexuals. The acceptability of homosexual activity and attitude of society
make the task very hard. Counsellor cannot expect a quick change, but it is a long time process.

6. Conclusion

To sum up, church cannot neglect the people belong to the LGBTQ community. A trained pastor can
give effective care to that community and bring them into the relationship of God. If there is
effective pastoral care, they can be active members of the church. The church members shall not
show any discrimination when they become part of the church.

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Grenz, Stanley. Sexual Ethics A Biblical Perspective. Cumbria: paternoster press,1997.

Havea, Jione. Becoming Sensual, with Public Study of Scriptures, Public and Sensual: Exploring Solutions Bible Studies on
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Marshall, Joretta L. Alternative Visions for Pastoral Work with LGBTQ Individuals, Families, and Comminities: A
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