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as ’: =. ? . & Take a moment to Take a moment notice five things to touch four things around you around you ds ** é ee A » Take a moment to Take a moment notice three things you to notice two things can hear you can smell Of » 2 Take a moment to acknowledge one thing you can taste Karty Malaaptve Examples Schema Examples of surrender avoidance overcompersation: Abandonment Instability Emotional Deprivation Defectiveness Soctal Isolation! Alienation Dependence! Incompetence Harm or Ulness Enmeshment! Undeveloped Seit Selects partners who ‘cannot make a femains tn the relationships Selects abusive ‘partners and permits abuse Selects emotionally depriving partners and does not ask them to meet needs Selects critical and rejecting iniends; puts ‘self down At social gatherings, focuses exclusively on ‘others rather than ‘similarities Asks significant others (parents, spouse) to make all hts ot her financtal decisions of ‘Bxampks of Avoids intimate Clings to and relationships, “smothers” the partner drinks a lol when to point of pushing alone partner away, ‘vehemently attacks [partner for even ‘minor separations ‘Avoids becoming Uses and abuses ‘vulnerable and others ("get others trusting anyone; before they get you") hkeeps secrets Avoids intimate Acts emotionally relanonships demanding with altogether partners and close nends ‘Avoids expressing Crttices and rejects true thoughts and others while seeming feelings and to be perfect. letting others get lose Avolds soctal ‘Becomes a chameleon situations and to fit into groups rou ‘Avoids taking on Becomes so self-reliant new challenges, that he of she does such as learning, mot ask anyone for to drive anything ‘Coounterdependient") Avolds going ‘Acts recklessly, places that do not without regard to seem totally danger “sale” ‘Ccounterphobtc™) ‘Avolds intimacy; Tries to become the slays independent opposite of significant others in all ways Early Maladaptive Examples of Examples of Schema Examples of surrender avoidance ‘overcompensation Entitlement’ Bullies others into Avoids situations —_Altends excessively to Grandosity getting own way, brags in which he or the needs of others about own she ts average, not accomplishments superior Insufficient Self Gives up easily on Avoids Becomes overly self- ‘Control/Self- tasks employment or controlled or self- Discipline accepting, disciplined responsibility Subjugation Lets other individuals Avoids situations —_Rebels against control situations and = that might involve authority make with another individual Self-Sacrifice Gives a lot to others Avoids situations Gives as little to others and asks for nothing —involving giving ——_as possible in return or taking A 5 Acts to others Avoids interact Goes out of the way to pproval-Seckingy! impress Avoads ieracting : of the way Seeking, approval ts disapproval of others; coveted ‘stays in the Negativity? Focuses on the Drinks to blot out Is overly optimsstic Pessimism Regative; ignores the pessimistic (Pollyanna™-tsh); Posttive; worries feelings and denies unpleasant ‘constantly, goes to unhappiness ‘great lengths to avoid any possible negative outcome Emouonal Maintains a calm, Avoids situations Awkwardly tries to be Inhibition ‘emotionally flat tn which people the “life of the party” demeanor discuss or express even though it feels feelings foreed and unnatural Unrelenting Spends mordinate Avoids or Does not care about Standards! amounts of time trying procrastinates in standards at all—does Hypercnicalness to be perfect stuauions and tasks In a hasty, tasks in which careless manner wall be judged Punutiveness ‘Treats self and others Avoids others for Behaves in overly tn harsh, punitive fear of forgiving way manner puntshment

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