Zavala 1

Yasmin Zavala
English 1
Ms.Chiodini
10 May 2019
Mrs.Colby

Someone Gets Hurt

Gift Gugu Mona once stated, ​“An abusive person may look innocent, but it doesn’t mean

they are.” Everyone treats each other differently, but when it comes to teen relationships many

times the relationships are unhealthy. Simply because teens are new to romance. What makes a

relationship abusive is when people take advantage of their partner, threaten one another, or

commit physical or mental abuse. Often because abuse occurs in private, the abuser thinks they
can

get away with it. Because many teens are inexperienced or have negative relationship models,

many find themselves involved in an abusive relationship and will often cope with drug use or
self

harm. What causes this abusive behavior is jealousy, controlling behavior and more. Therefore,
to

avoid this, people need to educate teens about the signs of unhealthy relationships so they can

reach out to get the help they need.

The issue for teens is that at some point in their lifetime, they may find themselves in an

abusive relationship that will cause them major pain. According to the article, “How To Prevent

Abuse In Teenage Relationships”, “42% of young men (aged 16-17 years-old) experience
physical violence. And a Portuguese study has revealed that 31% of girls age 15 to 16-years-old

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experience sexual violence in relationships.” (Bowes and De Claire). This article reveals that
31%

of girls 15 or 16 year olds go through sexual violence and 42% of boys around the same age do

as well. These studies show that a large number of teens are in relationships that are unhealthy.

They are being subjected to physical and sexual violence from their partners at very young age.

The younger the teen, the easier it is for them to be manipulated by their partners. Teens could

either not be matured in a certain age yet, or not understand their feelings. For example, “In the
two

years she was with him, there were beatings, more rapes and emotional abuse. Afterward, he

would apologize profusely and give her gifts, and everything would seem perfect again”

(Neumann). This shows an example of how many girls are confused because their partners are
not

always violent. Sometimes they are kind. If the teen is younger than the abuser, or the abuser has

more knowledge than the victim, it is even easier for the abuser to get away with what they are

doing. If teens are not educated about relationships, they may not know what to expect which

could lead them into an abusive relationship. When teens don’t understand their feelings and
how

relationships work it could effect their behavior.

There are multiple effects of abusive relationships on teenagers and these situations could
cause a lot of harm to the teen, themselves, or to others. For instance, “Often, the abuse happens
in

secret, in a bubble, “Many teens do not report it because they are afraid to tell friends and
family,”

the CDC noted” (Kennedy). When teens do not get the help they need, they will close up, and

have signs showing they are not okay. Teens keep a lot of things to themselves, Which hurts
them
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more, and can hurt for their future relationships. “Unhealthy relationships can start early and last
a

lifetime. Teens who are victims in highschool are at higher risk for victimization during college
and

throughout their lifetimes” (Kennedy). Teens aspire to be in long term relationships often they
will

not stop and think about their true feelings because they are obsessed with being in a
relationship.

Teenagers are still young and learning, even in relationships. Teens do not think beforehand
about

what to watch out for in relationships because their parent have not talked to them yet. Therefore

they are experienced and this makes them more likely to tolerate abusive behavior. Since the teen
is

going through a hard time, there are solutions.

There are many solutions for teens who find themselves in abusive relationships. For

example, “At Berkeley High School in Berkeley, Cali, a student organization called BHS Stop
Harassing began on initiative in early March called Story a Week, in which students
anonymously

submit personal stories of sexual harassment and abuse, said Uma Nagarajan-swenson, 17, a
senior

and the media director for the group” (Lu). Holding support groups, like at this school, could
solve

many unhealthy relationship problems. This could make teens feel less alone, and be a little more

comfortable to tell their stories to each other. This could also give teens a chance to get help and
to

find comfort from other teens who have been through a similar situation. There are also other

solutions that could help. Cody Kennedy once stated, “Don’t judge yourself by what others did
to

you.” This is a positive way for teens to reach out, and to give them the courage to not be afraid
to

demand healthy relationships in the future. Of course, there is more solutions to end unhealthy
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relationships to teen. For example, “Confide in someone, such as a parent, trusted adult, health

provider, or friend. Your friend also needs your encouragement to get help immediately from an

adult, such as a parent, family member, or health professional” (Lyness). Teens talk to each other

about most topics. If they are close with their friends, they will talk about their relationships.
When

teens are too anxious to talk to an adult, they should be encouraged to talk to a friend instead.

Teens could listen to one another and be taught to report unhealthy relationships to an adult.
There
are many other ways for teens to get help and to realize they are in a abusive relationship.

To avoid this problem, people need to educate teens about the signs of unhealthy

relationships so they can reach out to get the help they need. ​Everyone treats each other
differently,

but when it comes to teen romantic relationships many times the relationships are unhealthy.The

causes, effects and solutions of unhealthy relationships are topics to think and talk about.
Whether,

it is a positive or negative experience, teens need to speak up about their relationships so that
they

feel safe in society. If not, teens would feel confused, and more likely to get manipulated and
close

up to others. The effects of unhealthy relationships will be emotional, physical or mental. They

could even possibly cause teens to run into another abusive relationship. For solutions, teens
could

talk to a friend, to a parent, or a trusted adult. Education about relationships can help society

recognize an abusive relationship before it is too late.

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Works Cited

Bowes, Nicola and Karen De Claire.“How to prevent abuse in teenage relationships.” ​The
Conversation: 9​ Feb 2018. ​The Conversation US, Inc. ​2010 - 2019. Web. 1 May
2019.

Kennedy, Cody. “Abuse Survivors Quotes (274 quotes)” ​Goodreads.Goodreads, Inc. ​2019.
Web. 31 May 2019.
Kennedy, Rose. “7 Signs your Teen Could be in an Abusive Relationship.” ​Dayton Daily News:
26 Aug. 2018. ​Cox Media, Inc.​ 2019. Web. 6 May 2019.

Kiyosaki, Robert. “101 Robert Kiyosaki Quotes That Will Inspire You.” ​Addicted 2 Success: 24​
May 2014. ​Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported
License. 2011. ​Web. 29 Wed 2019.  
 
Lu, Wendy. “What #MeToo Means to Teenagers.” ​The New York Times: 1​ 9 Apr, 2018. ​The New
York Times Company. 2019. Web. 6 May 2019.

Lyness, D’Arcy Ph.D. “Abusive Relationships (for Teens) - KidsHealth.” ​Teens Health: ​Feb
2017. ​The Nemours Foundation. ​Web. 1 May 2019.

Mona, Gift, G. “Gift Gugu Mona Quotes (Page 2 of 15)” ​Goodreads.Goodreads, Inc. ​2019.
Web.
6 May 2019.

Neumann, Janice. “If a teenager has one abusive relationship, it’s likely they’ll experience
another.” ​The Washington Post: 1​ 7 Mar. 2017. ​Nash Holding,​ 2013. Web. 6 May
2019.