Ventura 1

Agnezze Ventura

Ms. Woelke

Pre-AP English 9

27 August 2018

Personal Essay

Ever since I was young, I’ve always loved to draw. Even though I was only capable of

producing stick figures or scribbled nonsense, hearing my mother compliment me on whatever

trashy art I’ve made encouraged me to make more.

Until I grew older and started to take it much more seriously. I found tutorials on how to

draw various subjects, I discovered different art styles and mediums and most importantly I was

exposed to different artists.

Finding people whose art I admired inspired me, but it shattered my confidence into

microscopic pieces. Scrolling through pages of vibrant visuals allowed me to learn from my

eminently knowledgeable peers. With various topics such as body proportions, the color theory,

line weight variation and so much more. But amongst the bustling, enthusiastic synapses in my

head, rapidly exchanging and passing information, there was a single phrase that ruined it all.

You’re not good enough.

From that moment on, drawing was no longer for fun. My artwork had to be acceptable

enough to be considered a drawing, and knowing how little experience and practice I had at that

time, it was a rare occurrence.

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Whenever I started drawing I was always concerned about color choice or anatomy, I

never really let myself go when I created art. I wanted perfection. I didn’t want to embrace any

of my mistakes, because to me, it made my creations look hideous. I wanted the outcomes to be

flawless every time I decided to sketch.

Granted, plenty of people with similar mindsets have gotten them far. Trying to achieve

perfection doesn’t necessarily make you perfect, but it does push you to persist through your own

limits. Unfortunately, when others do this, it hurts them more than it helps them. Attempting to

stay motivated enough to pursue a passion on a daily basis is one thing, but trying to carry out a

goal based on expectations beyond someone’s experience? That makes any hobby or passion

enervating.

So, I took a break. For about a year, I decided to take a break on drawing. During that

break, I was able to focus on other hobbies. However, I didn’t completely stray away from

drawing. I occasionally made some doodles every now and then. Projects also made it hard to

avoid, because I’ve always liked making my projects look intricate and vibrant.

During this time, I also met some of my closest friends, who I bonded with over games.

They also happen to harbor a similar interest in art. Witnessing their diverse art styles and

dedication to art, I decided to start drawing once more. And this time, it was for my own

enjoyment.

I started to created fan work for games that we were interested in. Together in calls or

messages, we shared our works, art we admired, useful tips we learned, criticism as well as

consolation. All was well, but I had one problem: I felt as though their art was superior to mine.

Even as they complimented me on my work, I would still think otherwise.

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On one particular call, we had a drawing session. I decided to confess that I felt as if their

art was better than mine. “What? No, no, no. I think you’re art is way better than mine!” I was

surprised at this, as all three of us began to praise each other.

It was at that instant in which I realized you shouldn’t look down on yourself. There will

always come a time in which you’ll find someone better than you, but behind their impressive

craft, lies years of backbreaking labor. It’s not that you’re not good enough, but more of, you

think you’re not good enough. You should compare yourself to none other than who you were

yesterday.