Instructions Peer Review

Dear Sagar,

After reading through your rough draft of the instructions assignment, the thing I think

you’ve done really well is thoroughly explaining why each of the issues you mention here can be

problematic for computer programmers. This was what I found to be your best trait if this draft.

However, there are some formatting fixes that I think could help make your next draft more clear

and fit within the specific assignment criteria.

As much as I like how detailed you are with these common issues computer programmers

face, I think you might benefit from incorporating those explanations of what these problems are

and how they affect programmers into your intro. Your first draft reads more like advice and less

like instructions. This was a bit confusing for me. I would recommend breaking down the steps

and specific tasks involved to solving each of these issues. For example, your first common issue

listed is not understanding the user. You go on to explain a few fixes for this issue, including

testing the product/program. Even without knowing a ton about computer programming, I’m sure

there is a lot that goes into testing a product. Break all of that down. Go into each of the steps

involved in that. Do the same for each thing you’ve listed as a possible fix for a particular issue.

I do like the way that you have this separated by each issue. In order to fit into the

assignment requirements, you’ll probably want to edit what you have written under each issue,

so the fixes/solutions are written more like commands. Break them up and separate each

individual task with each step adequately spelled out. Or you may want to consider pinpointing

which of these issues is the biggest problem for programmers or which one requires the most

complex steps to correct, and just focus in on that. Focusing in just one particular problem and its
potential fixes might help you meet some specific aspects of this assignment. Don’t feel like you

have to follow this suggestion, it’s just an idea that I thought might be beneficial for you.

You have a few times in this draft where you mention specific definitions from specific

sources. Just keep in mind that the audience for this assignment is supposed to be people who are

also in our same major. I’d imagine people in your major will already know the definitions of

coding and computer programming. When you start breaking down the specific steps involved in

testing a product or debugging a program, there may be things in those steps (I’m thinking there

would be more specific technical terms) that you may want definitions for. I do like the

technique of placing those definitions throughout the instructions, rather than having a separate

section for the definitions.

Once you’ve broken down each of the steps involved in fixing these issues programmers

face, you may want to look for visuals that help explain those tasks. Although I like the visuals

you’ve chosen, they don’t add much. What I mean is they don’t really illustrate the tasks in a

way that would help someone reading through these instructions. This could prove to be difficult

for your topic, but for some of these issues, I’m sure you could find some specific visuals that

lend themselves to help to visually demonstrate a specific part of a task.

One last thing I liked was that your intro was not just a general statement that applies to

everyone in your major or to anyone who may face these issues your instructions are meant to

spell out the steps to solve these issues. Instead, you made it much more personal and gave some

specifics about you. This was a nice touch. Without question, you do a really good job here of

creating a helpful tone.

 Wiki Page Peer Review

Dear Fazal,

After reading through your Wikipedia page, it sounds like you’re on the right track with

this assignment. Obviously, you’ll need to add in a few more sections, in addition to finishing the

“Arguments for and against” section.

I really liked the introduction description that you wrote. You really did a great job

introducing your topic in such a way that a general audience would be able to understand what it

means to make eye contact during meetings/presentations. As a side note, I also liked the image

you included in your rough draft.

I would recommend doing some research and include some examples of when eye

contact would be frowned upon. You may already be planning on doing that in this “Arguments

for and against” section you have started. Not just the too much vs. too little argument, but what

I mean is that there may be times where you wouldn’t want to make any eye contact.

Additionally, you should look into what, if any, eye contact is acceptable during meetings in

other cultures. Again, this may already be something you are planning to look into.

As far as your organization, you’ve got a good start. One thing you may want to do is

make your headings stand out a bit more. You’ve got them bolded, but you might want to think

about other ways to make those section headers stand out. Increasing the font size so that those

headings are larger than your font is one way to that. You also may want to underline those

headings, in addition to having them bold. Otherwise, as is the case with the assignment itself,

you are on the right track with how you have this broken up. I’m sure that you’ll continue this

when you add in additional sections.

 Sonic Warning Peer Review

Dear Louis,

I thought the best part of this warning was the sounds of the zombies. This was a perfect

choice. I think it made it more effective with where you placed it in the warning. Instead of

having this be the start, your warning begins with typical sounds of people. It sets this mood of

normalcy that is disrupted when the zombies attack. As a result, it makes your warning more

effective.

I think this was really well done. The only thing I would change is, and this falls into

sounds that I expected to hear, but I would maybe add some sounds of the zombies feasting on

some of the people that didn’t get away in time. I would probably add that just after the initial

sounds of the zombies, right before the sounds of people running. Maye have people screaming,

then the zombies feasting, then the running and more screaming. This might be difficult to find

and add in, especially since this one is already at the 35/36 second mark. But if you are able to

squeeze that kind of sound in, I think it’d help.

I think you met the assignment requirements. I think it’s pretty apparent that this is

warning about a zombie invasion, and basically that you should flee from the zombies in the

event of a zombie invasion and get to safety, hence the siren sounds to close out the warning.

Again, this is done well. No ambiguity or confusion in any of the parts. A clear beginning,

middle, and end in the warning.

Best,

Tim
 Grant Proposal Peer Review

Dear Connor,

Right off, I really like the cover sheet that you included with this project. It is well done

and immediately gave a professional feeling to this assignment. I also really like how you

actually state who you represent and what you are asking for in a short paragraph prior to the

introduction. Overall, your proposal is well organized.

I thought that your timeline was a little short. Your last step goes from week 7 to infinity.

I think you should consider expanding that section. First of all, I think what you are proposing

will take longer than your projected timeline. It is an ambitious task to improve clean water

access in countries like Honduras and Haiti. It will likely take more than seven weeks to acquire

the necessary materials, arrange transportation, and train the residents on the necessary steps to

ensure clean water practices.

On that note, in your goals and objectives, you mention that all community members will

attend at least two sessions on basic hygiene principles. But I don’t recall seeing anything in your

details section that describes how you plan to implement these sessions or how you plan to track

attendance, and how you plan to ensure that community members are attending. You may also

want to consider providing residents with education materials (pamphlets, etc.) on proper

hygiene principles.

Speaking of that detail section, it took me a moment to realize that this was the section

where we are tasked with spelling out the specifics of the project. Maybe a change to Project

Details would make it clearer what this section is supposed to be.

 Overall, you’ve done a great job with the project. You have definitely done your research

into this problem and you do a great job getting to the details of the problem and what your plan

will accomplish.

Best,

Tim