Positive Parenting Conference 2019 Key Takeaways Final PDF

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PositiveParentingConference.Com
©AFineParent.Com 2019
Table of Contents
Section 1: Solutions for Everyday Parenting 2
Sibling Rivalry with Dr. Laura Markham 4
Parenting Adolescents with Dr. Dan Siegel 9
Parenting 2-7 Year Olds with Joanna Faber and Julie King 14
Handling Stress in Children with Kim John Payne 19
Section 2: Relationship Focused Parenting 24

Collaborative & Proactive Solutions with Dr. Ross Greene 26
Parenting Spirited Kids with Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka 31
Decoding a Child's Needs with Pam Leo 36
“Forever” Relationships with Ramona Zabriskie 41
Section 3: Habits & Life Skills 46

Fostering Independence with Julie Lythcott-Haims 48
Behavior Change with James Clear 53
School Success with Jessica Lahey 58
Navigating the Digital World with Dr. Devorah Heitner 63
Section 4: Happiness & Contentment 68

The Science of Happiness with Shawn Achor 70
Breaking Free from Anxiety with Lynn Lyons 75
Happier Parenting with KJ Dell'Antonia 80
Removing Shame from Parenting with Mercedes Samudio 85
Conclusion 90
Appendix A 91
Appendix B 92
PositiveParentingConference.Com
W elcome to the 2019 Positive Parenting Conference! You are here because you are an
exceptional parent always looking to grow and have positive solutions at your fingertips
for everyday parenting challenges. (And boy, there are many!) This conference is
designed to bring you everything you need to make that happen – from managing screen time to
raising kids without sibling rivalry to helping your kids succeed at school and so much more –
we've got you covered.
Sixteen experts – authors of the most popular books for parents, who have years, if not decades, of
experience working with parents and being parents themselves – have come together to share
their expertise, research, and real life experiences with you. Each of these experts will be giving a
Masterclass in one of these four topic areas:
v Solutions for Everyday Parenting
v Relationship Focused Parenting
v Habits & Life Skills
v Happiness & Contentment
Each Masterclass is over an hour long, but don't worry! We've divided them into several short,
easy to watch, pause, rewind, and take-along segments. It's in-depth, well-planned, well-
organized parenting advice that fits your busy schedule. Our expert guides will talk to you about
all things that you want to know - now and in the future as your kids grow!
This eBook is your very own Little Book of Wisdom. We have collected our favorite takeaways from
each expert, plus there is space for you to jot down ideas, goals, and plans for your own unique
positive parenting journey. This will let you benefit from your aha moments and realizations long
a er the conference is over!
Because as we say around here: Great parents are made, not born!
PositiveParentingConference.Com Page 1
Section 1
Solutions for Everyday

Parenting
W elcome to the Masterclasses for the track Solutions for Everyday Parenting. We are
pleased to feature the following speakers and topics:
v Sibling Rivalry with Dr. Laura Markham
v Parenting Adolescents with Dr. Dan Siegel
v Parenting 2-7 Year Olds with Joanna Faber and Julie King
v Handling Stress in Children with Kim John Payne
In these Masterclasses you will find:

v Methods to coach your children through conflicts with their siblings,
v Reasons why your teen is moody and how to connect with them as their brains are
developing,
v Techniques for breaking through resistance with younger children using connection, and
v Approaches to simplifying your children's lives in order to lessen the stress that will impact
their growth and development.
Click here to register to watch these Masterclasses for FREE on May

7-8, 2019. Or click here to get the recording package and secure
lifetime access to all Masterclasses. (NOTE: Recording package is
available for purchase until May 14, 2019)
Sibling Rivalry
with Dr. Laura Markham
Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

1. During sibling fights it doesn't help for us parents to take on the roles of a dictator, a
cop, a judge, or a referee. What our kids need is a coach who teaches them conflict
resolution skills. Use your children's fights to coach them on how to come together
and work things out with each other. Teach them how to figure out win-win
scenarios that will work for both of them. Coaching your children this way gives
them the tools they need to resolve all kinds of conflicts – with their siblings and with
the world around them.
2. When you see kids fighting, think about the last time you were in conflict with
someone. You probably felt like they were wrong and you were right because
otherwise it wouldn't have been a conflict in the first place. Your children feel the
same way - each of them feels they are right and their sibling is wrong. Even if you
know exactly what happened, when you jump in with a resolution, you will only
make things worse. The better option is always to help them talk it out and sort it out
themselves.
3. Remember, fairness is in the eye of the beholder. Instead of arguing with your child
when they say “You never [something about themselves]” or “You always
[something about sibling]” what they're actually saying is “Listen to me, I need to be
heard. At this moment, I feel neglected.” Always start with acknowledging what they
are saying and empathize. This helps them feel heard, loved and eventually secure
in their place in the family.
Build Your Own Action Plan
What are we doing well and can do more of?
Did you hear something that made you go, “Hey! We already do that!”? Note them down here.
What do we need to start doing?

Did you hear something that made you go, "I'd like to give that a shot!"? Note them down here.
What do we need to stop doing?
Did you hear something that made you go, “Uh-oh!”? Note them down here.
Perspective Shi s
Did you hear something that made you go, “Oh, wow. Never thought of it that way!”? Note them
down here.
Challenge Time!
Dr. Laura has this challenge for us…..
This week, try and experiment. Try loving each child as fully as you can,
giving them what they need without any comparison to their sister or
brother. Just meet their needs, show up and be their mom or dad, and just
be fully present for them.
Note down how and when you will try this in your family and use this page for
tracking it.
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About Our Expert Guide
Dr. Laura Markham
Dr. Laura Markham earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, but she's also a
mom, so she understands how tough it is to be a parent. A leading advocate for parents and
children, Dr. Markham is the founding editor of AhaParenting.com, an extensive website serving up
Aha! Moments to parents of babies through teens.
Her bestselling books include Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start
Connecting, and Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends For
Life, which have been published in 12 languages and continue to rack up daily five star reviews on
Amazon, as parents attest to the power of her approach of connection, coaching, and parental
self-regulation. Her latest book is The Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook: Using Mindfulness
and Connection to Raise Resilient, Joyful Children and Rediscover your Love of Parenting.
Over 130,000 moms and dads enjoy Dr. Laura's free
weekly coaching posts via email. You can sign up
on her website, AhaParenting.com, which serves
up Aha! Moments for parents of babies through
teens. Dr. Laura's aspiration is to change the world,
one child at a time, by supporting parents. The
proud mother of two thriving young adults who
were raised with her peaceful parenting approach,
she lives with her husband in New York.
Website Facebook Instagram
Parenting Adolescents
with Dr. Dan Siegel

1. Adolescence is a very important period of remodeling in the brain during which
many important changes occur. This is nature's way of helping our kids move away
from the safe home environment and start functioning independently as adults. Also,
adolescence is different from puberty and can last past the teen years. Consequently,
we parents need to be aware that our adolescent kids' behaviors that may seem crazy,
immature, defiant or disrespectful are a side-effect of all this remodeling that is going
on in their brain.
2. There is a new “3-Rs” that we can teach our kids to help get them through
adolescence - Reflection, Relationships, and Resilience! As their brains are remodeling
we can be coaching our kids towards reflecting on the inner nature of what is going on.
We can teach them about relationships with other people, with themselves, and with
the planet around us. Then we can model and instruct about the resilience it takes to
keep going as we fail or feel like the path in front of us is getting too difficult to go on.
3. Sleep! Sleep is a very important thing for tweens and teens to keep them healthy
and their brains developing. Sleep is what rids the mind of the chemicals and waste
from another day of thinking and neuro-firing. Without the proper amount of sleep our
kids are carrying those waste products with them into the next day. Most people need
between 7 to 9 hours per night.

Perspective Shi s
Did you hear something that made you go, “Oh, wow. Never thought of it that way!”? Note them down
here.
Challenge Time!
Dr. Dan Siegel has this challenge for us…..
There are two little challenges. The first is to have some kind of reflective
conversation with your adolescent that invites them on some very gentle way
to reflect on si ing their mind. What sensations, images, feelings or thoughts
they're experiencing just to give you a flavor of giving them a mindsight tool.
See if there's some moment you can gently reflect with them on, like a movie
they saw. What did you feel about the movie? Not what was the movie about,
but what did you feel about it. That would be the idea of going into the inside of
your adolescents.
The second is a sleep challenge. This has to do with you as much as your
adolescent. Let's see if you can get eight hours of sleep. Let's see if you can then
inspire your adolescent to get eight hours of sleep during the week.
tracking it.
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Dr. Dan Siegel
Dr. Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-
director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA. An award-winning educator, he is a
Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and recipient of several honorary
fellowships. Dr. Siegel is also the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute, an educational
organization, which offers online learning and in-person seminars that focus on how the
development of mindsight in individuals, families and communities can be enhanced by
examining the interface of human relationships and basic biological processes.
Dr. Siegel's book, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation (Bantam, 2010), offers
the general reader an in-depth exploration of the power of the mind to integrate the brain and
promote well-being.
He has written five parenting books, including the
three New York Times bestsellers Brainstorm: The
Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
(Tarcher/Penguin, 2014); The Whole-Brain Child: 12
Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's
Developing Mind (Random House, 2011) and No-
Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm
the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing
Mind (Bantam, 2014) both with Tina Payne Bryson,
Ph.D., The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage,
Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child (Bantam,
2018) also with Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., and
Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-
Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who
Thrive (Tarcher/Penguin, 2003) with Mary Hartzell,
M.Ed.
Website Facebook Twitter Instagram

YouTube
Parenting 2 - 7 Year Olds
with Joanna Faber and Julie King

1. There is a connection between how people feel and how they behave. Therefore, if
we want our children to behave well we have to pay attention to their feelings and
accept those emotions, especially if they are negative. Think of your own behavior,
those times when you were not your best self (the “I'm so glad I'm not on reality TV
now” moments), what was going on with you at that time? If we adults find it hard to
behave at our best when we are mired in negative emotions and feelings, how can
we expect little ones to do it? Our best bet here is to acknowledge those feelings so
they can feel heard and learn to cope with it over the long run.
2. When you can't give your child what they want try giving that thing to them in the
fantasy of their imagination. If they want ice cream before dinner you tell them you'd
love to give them ice cream. All the ice cream in the world! Every flavor! It's a way of
showing them that we understand how much they want it and teaches them how to
cope with disappointment.
3. Do you have a child who is resistant? Put the child in charge! Find a small piece of the
decision-making process they can be in control of – like having them set a timer that
counts down to when they have to leave for school. Giving them a responsibility
makes them feel important and helps create buy-in towards the larger goal.

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
Joanna and Julie have this challenge for us…..
See how many minutes you can go straight without issuing a command to your
child. Try using one of the tools that we talked about - like being playful, or
giving a choice, or putting the child in charge. Or if you have their book you
can look at Chapter Two, which has more tools for engaging cooperation. But
see how many minutes - time yourself - how many minutes can you do without
issuing one command.
tracking it.
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About Our Expert Guides
Joanna Faber
Joanna Faber grew up in the Long Island home/laboratory of internationally acclaimed, best-
selling author and parent educator Adele Faber. She completed a Master's degree in Special
Education and post graduate work in teaching math and science at the City College of New York.
She taught bilingual students in West Harlem for ten years and contributed heavily to her mother's
award-winning book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn, with her front line experience in the
classroom.
Joanna recently wrote a new a erword for the thirtieth anniversary edition of How to Talk So Kids
Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk. She lectures on communication skills around the country and
conducts workshops based on her mother's work and her own experiences as a parent and
educator. Joanna lives in the Hudson Valley region of New York, with her husband, three sons,
dogs, cats, and an assortment of chickens.
Julie King
Julie King has been educating and supporting parents and professionals since 1995. In addition to
her work with individual parents and couples, she leads in-person and online workshops and gives
parent education presentations to schools, nonprofits, and parent groups. Julie received her AB
from Princeton University and a JD from Yale Law School. She lives with her husband in the San
Francisco Bay Area and is the mother of three.
Learn more about Julie's consultations, workshops
and appearances at www.julieking.org.
Julie and Joanna have known each other since they
were six months and ten months old, respectively.
They are co-authors of the book How to Talk so
Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with
Children Ages 2-7
Handling Stress in Children
with Kim John Payne

1. Effects of low-to-moderate grade unrelenting stress in our children (that may
completely fly under the radar!) can be similar to that of trauma-related stress in
kids rescued from gangs and from war torn regions. When this constant/cumulative
stress is removed from their life, especially for kids with a diagnosis, psychologists
find that that behavior actually turns into a positive gi for them and they can thrive!
So simplification and balance can mean a difference between a child who is lauded
as a “mover & shaker” versus one who gets diagnosed with “hyperactivity disorder.”
This was also observed with OCD, ODD, ADHD and more diagnoses.
2. Children need not only sleep, but also moments of decompression during the day
where they can be creative and have undirected play in order to grow into self-
motivated, creative, and innovative adults. This undirected play gives them the time
they need to discover their passions and talents as well as helps free them from any
stress they are feeling.
3. There are four areas where you can start simplifying: their environment (books, toys,
clothes), their rhythms or patterns of life, their schedules, and the amount of
information we give them. Paring down just a little in each of these areas can reduce
the amount of stress in a child's life dramatically. A child who does not feel
bombarded with stress will be happier and healthier in the long-run.

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
Kim John has this challenge for us…..
As you listen to those four pillars of simplicity: simplifying environment,

strengthening rhythms, simplifying schedules, and simplifying all the
information and screens, where do you think is a beginning point? Which one
of those strikes a chord for you? Create or plan an action around that one and
do it. Through one small doable change, we can declare peace in our homes.
We have the power to do that.
tracking it.
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Kim John Payne
Kim John Payne has been quietly and passionately working to help tens of thousands of people
give voice to the feeling that something is not okay about the new normal of overwhelm that so
many people are now experiencing. He offers do-able ways to realize the hopes and values we all
have for ourselves, and build deep connections with our children that gives families resiliency and
simple joy.
A consultant and trainer to over 230 U.S. independent and public schools, Kim John Payne, M.ED,
has been a school counselor, adult educator, consultant, researcher, educator and a private family
counselor for twenty seven years. He regularly gives keynote addresses at international
conferences for educators, parents, and therapists and runs workshops and trainings around the
world.
In addition to authoring the #1 Best Seller Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of
Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kid, he has written The Games Children Play and
The Soul of Discipline. He has also co-authored Whole Child Sport: How to Navigate Child & Youth
Sport. and Being At Your best When Your Kids Are At Their Worst. His books have been translated
into 27 languages.
He has appeared frequently on television including ABC,
NBC, CBS, Fox; on radio with the BBC, Sirius/XM, CBC &
NPR and in print including being featured in Time
Magazine, Chicago Tribune, Parenting, Mothering, Times
Union and the LA Times.
Kim strives to deepen understanding and give practical
tools for life that arise out of the burning social issues of
our time. He lives on a farm in Ashfield, Massachusetts
with his wife and two children.
Website Facebook Twitter
Section 2
Relationship Focused
Parenting
W elcome to the Masterclasses for the track Relationship Focused
Parenting. We are pleased to feature the following speakers and topics:
v Collaborative & Proactive Solutions with Dr. Ross Greene
v Parenting Spirited Kids with Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
v Decoding a Child's Needs with Pam Leo
v “Forever” Relationships with Ramona Zabriskie

v Methods to coach your spirited child through their worst tantrums and into
learning the tools to self-advocate,
v Techniques to meet the unmet needs your child has that is causing
challenging behavior,
v Approaches to responding rather than reacting to your child's unwanted
behaviors, and
v Reasons why respect is the foundation to building a healthy and loving
relationship with your spouse that your children can model in their own
relationships.

Collaborative & Proactive Solutions
with Dr. Ross Greene

1. There are two mentalities to addressing behavioral challenges: (a) The “kids do well
if they wanna” mentality and (b) The “kids do well if they can” mentality. With the
first you address each behavior issue with rewards and punishment, but never get
to the bottom of the underlying problems causing the behavior. With the latter you
recognize that the kid's behavior is caused by a lagging skill and you focus on solving
the underlying unsolved problems, which not only addresses the root cause, but
also reduces the occurrence of challenging behaviors in the future.
2. There are 3 ways that parents address unsolved problems. Plan A, the most common
one, is where the parents try to solve the problem unilaterally. Plan B is where
parents work with kids proactively and collaboratively to find solutions. Plan C is
where you intentionally and strategically set aside a problem to be addressed later,
so you can focus on a small subset to work on. A combination of Plan B and Plan C
offers the best chances of success for addressing challenging behaviors.
3. Plan B for collaboratively and proactively solving problems has 3 steps. Step 1 is the
Empathy step where you create conditions for your child to talk. Step 2 is the Define
the Problem step where we parents offer our concerns and perspective for
consideration. Step 3 is the Invitation step where we brainstorm for solutions and
find one that is both realistic and mutually satisfactory.

Perspective Shi s
here.
Challenge Time!
Dr. Greene has this challenge for us…..
Identify one expectation that your child is having difficulty reliably meeting.
Start with the word “difficulty.” Don't include any challenging behavior in the
wording. Don't include any theories in the wording. Make sure that it's split,
not clumped, and make sure that it's as specific as possible.
tracking it.
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Dr. Ross Greene
Dr. Ross Greene is the New York Times bestselling author of the influential books The Explosive
Child, Lost at School, Raising Human Beings, and Lost & Found. He is the originator of the
innovative, evidence-based treatment approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)
described in these books. The CPS model provides a compassionate, accurate understanding of
behavioral challenges and an evidence-based, non-punitive, non-adversarial approach for
reducing challenging episodes, solving problems, improving communication, and repairing
relationships.
Dr. Greene also developed and executive produced the feature-length documentary The Kids We
Lose, a film about the counterproductive, o en inhumane ways in which kids with behavioral
challenges are treated -- treatment that o en pushes them onto the pipeline to prison -- and the
difficulties and frustrations o en faced by their parents, educators, and other caregivers (learn
more at www.thekidswelose.com).
Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding
director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance (www.livesinthebalance.org), which provides free,
web-based resources on the CPS approach and advocates on behalf of kids with social, emotional,
and behavioral challenges and their caregivers. He is also adjunct Associate Professor in the
Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the
University of Technology in Sydney, Australia.
He has been featured in a wide range of media,
including The Oprah Show, Good Morning America, The
Morning Show, National Public Radio, The Atlantic, The
Washington Post, and Mother Jones magazine. He lives
in Portland, Maine.
Website Facebook Twitter YouTube
Parenting Spirited Kids
with Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

1. A spirited child is a normal child, but they're more. They're more intense, sensitive,
perceptive, persistent, and energetic than the average child. Raising them can be
challenging, but many of their spirited traits that annoy us now are what will make
them successful as adults. So, instead of breaking their spirit, we need to look at
creating a family culture where spirit can thrive.
2. Being aware of how we are labeling our children can change how we view their
behavior, and how they view themselves. For example, relabeling a “stubborn”
child can transform them into a child who is “tenacious” and “goal-oriented.” A
“loud” or “brash” child becomes “expressive” and someone with “good leadership
skills.” Always watch for the labels you use with your spirited kids, intentionally or
unintentionally, as they define the lens through which we view them and they view
themselves.
3. As you coach your children through how to calm down you give them the tools to be
able to self-advocate for what they need in the moment instead of bottling it up and
then exploding into tantrums. This will grow with them and turn them into more
successful adults.

Perspective Shi s
here.
Challenge Time!
Dr. Kurcinka has this challenge for us…..
1) The first challenge is to focus on their strengths. Be conscious of the labels

you are using to describe your children and your partner because it will change
the interaction. Focus on the strengths.
2) And the second one is, choose sleep.
tracking it.
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Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D is a bestselling author and internationally recognized lecturer and
parent educator. Her books Raising Your Spirited Child, Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook, Kids,
Parents and Power Struggles, and Sleepless in America: Is Your Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep?
have been translated into twenty languages. She was selected as the 2018 Best of St. Paul Awards
in the category of Individual and Family Services, and has earned a spot on Amazon's Top 25 Parent
Education authors list.
Dr. Mary provides training nationally and internationally for families and professionals, including
medical personnel, educators and social service and child care providers who serve families.
Licensed as a parent educator and early childhood teacher she has pioneered efforts to bring
temperament, neurobiology, the importance of sleep and emotion coaching into homes, schools,
childcare centers, medical practices, social services and businesses. She is as comfortable as a
keynote speaker for major professional conferences as she is working one-on-one with families in
their homes or teachers in their classrooms.
Mary holds a Doctoral degree in Educational Leadership
from Hamline University. She also graduated with honors
from the University of Minnesota with a Master's degree in
Family Social Science and from Iowa State University with
a Bachelor of Science degree in Early Childhood
Education. She has been named one of the International
Temperament Association Winners of the Kristal Memorial
Award for excellence in applying temperament to better
the lives of others.
Mary resides in Bozeman, Montana with her husband and
is a proud mother and grandmother.
Website Facebook Twitter Pinterest
Decoding a Child's Needs
with Pam Leo
Our Top 3 Favorite Tips From this Masterclass

1. Children don't always have the language to tell us what they need or what hurts, so
they act it out with their behaviour. It's kind of like charades. Asking ourselves, “what is
going on for this child?” changes how we view the behavior. It helps us respond to the
behavior rather than reacting to it, and to be more proactive and thoughtful in our
response.
2. Meeting their needs doesn't mean that we have to make them happy all the time.
Meeting your child's emotional needs sometimes means saying no and setting limits.
Even if it means they are going to cry or have a tantrum.
3. There are only two tools we parents really need - one is connecting and the second is
reconnecting when there is a disconnect. (Use the 3-R approach for reconnecting -
rewind, repair, replay.) Tools of coercion such as timeouts and punishment are only
required when there is a disconnect. Instead of resorting to them, look for ways to
reconnect. Besides, coercion works only when we are bigger than them. As they get
older and become teens, the only influence we can have is through connection.

Perspective Shi s
here.
Challenge Time!
Pam has this challenge for us…..
Design a ritual for each child, a little, teeny “I love you” ritual. For each child
think about what you know about that child that could give you an idea for a
little connection ritual that you could do every day with them. Something
that you know they love. The message to them is, “I'm remembering this is
what you love. I'm offering to do something nice for you.”
tracking it.
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Pam Leo
Pam Leo is an independent scholar in human development, a parent educator, a certified

childbirth educator, a doula, a parent, and a grandparent. A er her first child was born in 1972, it
became her passion to understand human behavior. She began to study child development,
psychology, sociology, and anthropology.
She chose to homeschool her daughters and continued her own independent study of human
development. In 1989, she developed the seven-session parenting series, Meeting the Needs of
Children, which she teaches publicly and in the prison system with inmate parents. She also
teaches the class Bonding with Your Baby that focuses on supporting expectant parents in creating
the best possible foundation for a strong parent-child bond.
Her passion to learn how to support optimal human development grew into a mission to share all
she had learned. In addition to teaching she has been sharing this information through her
"Empowered Parents" column in the Parent & Family paper since 1994. She has also been
published in the Empathic Parenting Journal and helped to develop the Alliance for Transforming
the Lives of Children.
“It's been a dream come true to have the opportunity to
work in person with many of the people who have
unknowingly been my mentors. Our common bond is our
passion for and dedication to working together to make
this information available to all people who either raise
children or impact the lives of children."
She is the author of Connection Parenting: Parenting
through Connection instead of Coersion, through Love
instead of Fear.
Website Facebook
“Forever” Relationships
with Ramona Zabriskie

1. Every day is a day in your “forever.” The choices you are making now will determine
the kind of world you're going to live in when you're 60. The question to ask then is:
Can I live a life today that is so deeply rooted in meaningful relationships that I am
able to become my best, most loving, most courageous, most accomplished self,
and thereby change the world?
2. Respect is the foundational principle in any relationship that you're trying to

cultivate and nurture. In a “forever” relationship, we need to extend our partners
unconditional respect. Love cannot sprout or grow without respect. But if you make
unconditional respect the core of your relationship, you can go past love and
become cherished, and that's something worth waiting for and working towards.
3. There's going to be conflict in every relationship. Our goal with our partner should
be to protect the relationship. The relationship is the most important thing, not
whether we are right or wrong. And if the conflict can't be resolved we have to
commit to persevering through the conflict and then, ultimately, forgiving.

Perspective Shi s
here.
Challenge Time!
Ramona has this challenge for us…..
Today, take time to “turn toward.” Husbands, do it for your wives. Parents, do
it for your children. Just make the choice that this person is the most
important person in the world to me, right in this moment, we're together,
we're present. And I'm just going to li my eyebrows, turn my face, turn my
body, and care. With your interest and your body language tell them, “I'm here
for you."
tracking it.
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Ramona Zabriskie
Nearly divorced two years a er her own wedding, Ramona Zabriskie knows how it feels to be
misunderstood and unappreciated. She also knows what it's like to be cherished, cared for, and
honored. By the same man.
Over a 40+ year marriage, Ramona sought out and learned for herself from truly successful wives
and women. In the process, her own relationship was saved, and thousands of other marriages and
families around the world have improved dramatically from her experience, research, and wisdom.
Ramona's unique and special approach to supporting your most important relationships has been
proven and tested by women in over 70 countries through her multi-award winning book, Wife for
Life: The Power to Succeed in Marriage, her acclaimed Wife for Life University program, and her
WifeSavers Education Membership.
She and her husband, Dale, co-host the popular
WifeSavers Podcast each week, focusing on helping
listeners appreciate womanhood, prioritize personal
development, and cra a powerful partnership.
Podcast
Section 3
Habits & Life Skills
W elcome to the Masterclasses for the track Habits & Life Skills. We are
pleased to feature the following speakers and topics:
v Fostering Independence with Julie Lythcott-Haims
v Behavior Change with James Clear
v School Success with Jessica Lahey
v Navigating the Digital World with Dr. Devorah Heitner

v Approaches to developing the habits of initiative taking, problem solving, and
shouldering responsibility that will ensure your child becomes a competent
adult,
v Methods to ensure your child can navigate through the digital world safely,
v Techniques to coach your child into developing healthy habits and getting
them out of the ones that might not be so healthy,
v Ways to embrace Autonomy Supportive Parenting and successful parent-
teacher partnerships to ensure success at school.

Fostering Independence
with Julie Lythcott-Haims

1. There are four steps to helping your child learn a new skill that will help them grow
up to be independent adults: 1) When they are very little, do it for them, 2) When
they are old enough to learn the skill, first do it with them, using your teacher voice
all along to narrate what you're doing 3) Next, when you've had some practice
doing it with them, back off a little and watch them do it. You still hang around and
provide feedback, but you let them do most of it by themselves, and 4) Finally, let
them do it independently without you - no hovering allowed!
2. One of the top ways to ensure your child is successful as an adult is to have them do
chores now. Pitching in now develops the habit of initiative-taking, which is
something bosses love to see in their employees! Research shows that this is one of
the primary indicators of long-term professional success.
3. Not every problem your child has is the parent's problem to solve. Saying things
like, “What do you think you should do about that?” pushes the responsibility back
onto the shoulders of your child and gives them the opportunity to practice critical
thinking skills and come up with a solution for the problem themselves. (Critical
thinking is one of the skills they will need to survive the 21st century professional
landscape!)

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
Julie has this challenge for us…..
If you feel like your job is to be up on their homework or grades and you
constantly ask them about those things, you have to take the One Week
Cleanse. For one week you cannot ask them about homework or grades or
school. Today when your kid gets home from school you, instead of saying to
them, how much homework do you have and what did you get in the science
test, you say, “Hey, I know I'm always on you about how much homework you
have and how you did on the test today and so on and so forth. And I know that
can make you feel that I don't think you care, so I have to ask, but I know you do
care.”
You're just having normal human conversations instead of academic

transactional conversations. This results in your kid feeling more autonomy.
You're giving them that independence, you're expecting they're going to
manage it. You're trusting for that week that they will, they end up managing
their things a whole lot better because you've stopped nagging. So it's a
beautiful thing.
tracking it.
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Julie Lythcott-Haims
Julie Lythcott-Haims's first book, the 2015 New York Times bestseller How to Raise an Adult, details
how a parent can rob a child from developing agency by over-parenting. It emerged from her
decade as Stanford University's Dean of Freshmen, where she was known for her fierce advocacy
for young adults and her fierce critique of the growing trend of parental involvement in the day-to-
day lives of college students which was becoming a nationwide trend. How to Raise an Adult has
been published in over two dozen countries and gave rise to a TED talk that became one of the top
TED Talks of 2016 with over 3.5 million views and counting, as well as a forthcoming sequel on how
to be an adult, for young adults.
Her latest book, Real American: A Memoir, is a critically-acclaimed and award-winning memoir
which examines racism through her experience as a Black and biracial person.
In addition to publishing two non-fiction books, her work has appeared throughout the media
including in the New York Times, the Times Literary Supplement of London, the Chicago Tribune,
The Atlantic, Parents, AsUs, the PBS News Hour, CBS This Morning, Good Morning America, The
Today Show, National Public Radio and its affiliates, C-SPAN, the TD Jakes Show, and numerous
podcasts and radio shows.
She serves on the boards of Foundation for a College
Education in East Palo Alto, CA, Global Citizen Year, in
Oakland, CA, Common Sense Media, in San Francisco,
and on the advisory board of Lean In in Palo Alto, CA.
She is a member of the Peninsula chapter of Threshold
Choir and she volunteers with the hospital program No
One Dies Alone. She is a former corporate lawyer and
Stanford dean, and holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from
Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College
of the Arts. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with
her partner of over thirty years, their two teenagers, and
her mother.
Behavior Change
with James Clear

1. If you want to create healthy habits you need to focus on making the cues obvious,
the habits attractive, the behaviors easy, and the results satisfying. If you want to break
a bad habit you can make the cue invisible, the habit unattractive, the behavior
difficult, and the results unsatisfying.
2. Habit Stacking is a great way of adding new healthy habits into your day. You pick a
habit you already have, like having a cup of coffee, and then “stack” a habit onto it, like
meditating for 60 seconds a er you make your cup of coffee.
3. Want your kids to help out by folding laundry? Try Temptation Bundling. Let them do
something they really like to do (like watching TV) while they match up the socks. They
will start to ask for more laundry!

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
James has this challenge for us…..
Find a two-minute version of the habit you want to adopt. For example, think
about the type of person you want to become or the type of outcome that you
would like to achieve and then scale that down to something that takes two
minutes or less to do. The challenge would be to implement that two-minute
habit sometime today and hopefully continue to stick with it over the long
run.
tracking it.
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James Clear
James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, is known for his ability to distill
complex topics into simple behaviors that can be easily applied to daily life and work. In his New
York Times bestselling book, Atomic Habits, he draws on the most proven ideas from biology,
psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits
inevitable and bad habits impossible.
James Clear is a writer and speaker focused on habits, decision-making, and continuous
improvement. His work has appeared in Entrepreneur magazine, Time magazine, the New York
Times, the Wall Street Journal and on CBS This Morning.
His website, jamesclear.com, receives millions of visitors
each month and hundreds of thousands subscribe to his
popular email newsletter. He is a regular speaker at
Fortune 500 companies and his work is used by coaches
and players in the NFL, NBA, and MLB.
School Success
with Jessica Lahey

1. Grades should not be the gauge by which we measure success. Actual interest in a
topic or passion around a subject is a greater predictor of success, because it signals
internal or intrinsic motivation. Our kids are good at the things they are interested in
because it comes from a place of genuine enjoyment inside them, not because we told
or rewarded them they should be good at it.
2. Giving kids more autonomy – practicing Autonomy Supportive Parenting - not only
makes them feel good, but it also empowers and prepares them to want even more
autonomy. Once we can trust that they can do a task without our nagging and constant
reminders our relationship with our kids will improve and blossom, along with their
confidence in their own abilities.
3. Respect is the cornerstone of the parent-teacher relationship. When you have that
respect it is easier to remember that you and their teacher are both doing your best to
help your child learn and excel. Then you can, with the child facilitating the
conversation, collaborate on strategies to that will help them move to the next level in
their learning.

Perspective Shi s
here.
Challenge Time!
Jessica has this challenge for us…..
Try to treat all the grades the same way – as evidence of process.
Our kids need to know that we love them unconditionally, not just based on
their performance and not accidentally sending the message that we love
them more when they get an A and less when they get an F.
So the next time your kid comes home with a grade, a very high grade or a very
low grade rather than freaking out over the very high grade or sort of doing
that silence of disapproval for the low grade, come to that and say, “Huh,
interesting grade, so what did you do to get that grade.” Talk to them about
what they did to earn a high grade, or, if it's a low grade, what are you going
to not do next time that you did this time.
tracking it.
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Jessica Lahey
Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and podcaster. She writes about education, parenting, and child
welfare for The Atlantic, Vermont Public Radio, The Washington Post and the New York Times, and is
the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gi of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to
Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed.
She hosts the #AmWriting podcast with her former New York Times parenting editor, author K.J.
Dell'Antonia. Lahey is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the
educational curriculum for Amazon Kids' The Stinky and Dirty Show.
She teaches high school English and writing at a drug
and alcohol rehab for adolescents, and her forthcoming
book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a
Culture of Dependence, will be released in 2020. She lives
with her husband and two sons near Burlington,
Vermont.
Navigating the Digital World
with Dr. Devorah Heitner
1. All of the issues that kids are facing today have been faced before. They need your
mentorship and your wisdom to deal with timeless “growing up” issues such as
dealing with exclusion, conflict, lack of boundaries, inappropriate behavior, social faux
paux and more, albeit in a new medium and a much more public forum.
2. Help your child take their screen interests and move them into the real world. If they
are watching cooking videos, have them cook. If they are watching slime videos, have
them make slime. If they are watching travel videos, have them help plan the next
family trip. Use their screen interests to help them build pragmatic life skills.
3. Trying to decide if it's time for your child to have their own phone? Look for
independence markers instead of only their age. Is your child ready to walk home from
school? To spend time at the public library on their own? To babysit? To go to a sleep-
away camp? To do their chores without being prompted? If they're not showing any
markers of independence, then they're not ready yet for a personal device.

Perspective Shi s
here.
Challenge Time!
Dr. Heitner has this challenge for us…..
Today, a er they get home from school and have a snack ask them what their
least favorite tech habit of yours is. What do you with your phone or computer
that they wish you could change, that they would like you to change. This is
really great information and you can do it as an exchange and you can say
what your least favorite habit of theirs is, but I think the bravest thing to do
would just be open up the conversation and let them tell you what is the thing
that you do with your devices that drives them nuts. And this is helpful because
it opens up an opportunity to maybe talk about having a family safe word
around technology.
tracking it.
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Dr. Devorah Heitner
An expert on young people's relationship with digital media and technology, Dr. Devorah Heitner is
the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and founder of
Raising Digital Natives. Her mission is to cultivate a culture of empathy and social/emotional
literacy.
Dr. Heitner's work has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street
Journal, TIME magazine and Education Week. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from
Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. She is delighted to be raising
her own digital native.
Website Facebook Twitter YouTube
Section 4
Happiness &
Contentment
W elcome to the Masterclasses for the track Happiness & Contentment. We
are pleased to feature the following speakers and topics:
v The Science of Happiness with Shawn Achor
v Breaking Free from Anxiety with Lynn Lyons
v Happier Parenting with KJ Dell'Antonia
v Removing Shame from Parenting with Mercedes Samudio

v The relationship between happiness and success, and how to use this to both
help your kids succeed and find more fulfillment in your own parenting
journey,
v Methods to coach your child into developing their own internal voice and
strategies for beating anxiety and worry,
v Simple techniques to ensure more happiness in your household – particularly
around mornings and mealtimes, and
v Approaches to removing the shame from your parenting and helping kids
develop a healthier resilience against shame and disappointment.

The Science of Happiness
with Shawn Achor
1. Research shows that the commonly believed formula of “work harder, be more
successful, then you will be happy” is backwards. Happiness is actually the precursor
to greater levels of success. It means that as parents, we need to flip the formula and
start focusing on the happiness of our kids, if we want to help them be more successful
in school and in life.
2. Small changes can have a massive impact on levels of optimism and happiness.
Look for 3 new things to be grateful for each day, writing a two minute positive email,
journaling two minutes a day about a positive experience, meditating even if it is for
just two minutes, exercising cardio for fi een minutes a day -- these are all like taking
an antidepressant and can help us be more optimistic and successful.
3. The other greatest predictor of long term success, aside from happiness, is deep
social connections. So it is important that we focus on our relationship with our kids. It
is also important that we teach them not to be hyper-comparing and competitive, and
instead focus on building deeper, more meaningful social relationships.

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
Shawn has this challenge for us…..
Write a 2-minute text or email message today praising or thanking someone in

your life for something real – not just “you're awesome.” It can be friend in
your favorites list, or someone you haven't talked to in awhile that always
brightens your day, or a friend from school, or a old teacher you had, or a
coach etc.
If you continue doing this everyday for 21 days, you will not only create more
gratitude in your life, and brighten someone's day, but research shows that
you also improve your social connection score, which is one of the greatest
predictors of your long-term happiness.
tracking it.
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Shawn Achor
A er spending twelve years at Harvard University, Shawn has become one of the world's leading
experts on the connection between happiness and success. His research on happiness made the
cover of Harvard Business Review, his TED talk is one of the most popular of all time with over 13
million views, and his lecture airing on PBS has been seen by millions.
Shawn has worked with over a third of the Fortune 100 companies, and lectured in more than 50
countries speaking to CEOs in China, senior leaders at the Pentagon, schoolchildren in South
Africa, and farmers in Zimbabwe.
His Happiness Advantage training is the largest and most successful positive psychology corporate
training program to date in the world. Shawn is the author of New York Times best-selling books
The Happiness Advantage (2010) and Before Happiness (2013), as well as 'Ripples Effect, The
Orange Frog and Big Potential.
Shawn was recently published in the top psychology
journal for the work he did at UBS in partnership with Yale
University to create a more effective stress training.
Recently, he did a two-hour interview with Oprah at her
house discussing happiness research and perception of
success.
TED Talk
Breaking Free from Anxiety
with Lynn Lyons

1. It's okay for our kids to feel a little nervous at times. It's okay to feel unsure. We as
parents need to teach our children how to tolerate uncertainty and recognize
worry/anxiety for what it is. Instead of addressing anxiety and worry from the position
of defense - avoidance, accomodation, reassurance - we need to go on the offense. We
need to have our kids understand how worry works and change their relationship with
it. A few ways to do this is - externalize it, expect it, understand its tactics and “talk
back” to it, and eventually learn to manage it.
2. Don't get caught in the reassurance trap. Provide kids the information they need
when they ask you the first time, but if they keep repeating requests for reassurance,
ask them to recollect the information that you've already provided so they learn the
skill of Internal Reassurance. Then your child will begin to trust their own internal voice
and rely on you less for external reassurance in the future.
3. Worry has two components - content and process. Content is what the worry is
about. Process is how worry works and how you can deal with it. When you address only
the content, you will always be chasing worry/anxiety, because what a child is
worried/anxious about changes constantly with their age and external situations. On
the other hand, when you help them understand the process and empower them to
address it, they can handle not only the current situations that trigger them, but also
any new situation as they come up!

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
Lynn has this challenge for us…..
Think with your children of all the things you do for them, and then pick three
things that you are currently doing for your child that they can probably do for
themselves, and then stop doing it. So, if you are picking out their clothes or
packing their backpack stop doing those things. Start noticing what happens
when you lengthen the leash a little bit. This will give them room to start
problem solving and managing uncertainty on their own.
tracking it.
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Lynn Lyons
Lynn Lyons is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in Concord, New Hampshire.
She has been in private practice for 28 years, and specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders
in adults and children. She travels globally as a speaker and trainer on the subject of anxiety, its
role in families, and the need for a preventative approach at home and in schools.
With a special interest in breaking the generational cycle of worry in families, she is the coauthor of
two books on anxiety: Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise
Courageous & Independent Children, and the companion book for kids, 'Playing with Anxiety:
Caseys Guide for Teens and Kids.
Her latest book, Using Hypnosis with Children: Creating and Delivering Effective Interventions is a
how-to guide for helping professionals looking to incorporate hypnotic strategies for the treatment
of depression, anxiety, medical procedures, pain, and sleep.
She describes herself as a HOW therapist. Just like the coach who taught you HOW to hit a
backhand or the teacher that taught you HOW to multiply fractions, she teaches helpful techniques.
Therapy should show and teach people what to DO differently. The past most certainly can get in
the way–even as it helps us understand the patterns that exist–but it needn't define how we move
into the future.
Lynn received her BA in English from Williams College, her
Masters in Social Work from Boston University, and she has
been training extensively with the world's experts in clinical
hypnosis and strategic therapy for more than 20 years. She is
a member of the National Association of Social Workers
(NASW) and the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH).
Website Facebook Twitter
Happier Parenting
with KJ Dell'Antonia

1. You can be happy when your children aren't. We can feel empathy for what they are
going through, but we don't have to feel their emotions with them or for them. We can
be outside of those emotions and be happy even when they are mad or sad. Our kids
need to learn that they are not responsible for our happiness, and conversely their
happiness doesn't depend on anyone else's.
2. To have happier mornings put more (age-appropriate) responsibility on the

shoulders of your children. This frees the parents from carrying the burden of
organizing everyone else's morning needs and departures and creates a lower-stress
morning for everyone.
3. Let go of the “should” and “ought to” thoughts around meal times. Find a way to
provide food for your family in a way that works for you. Meal times are a way to enjoy
your time together as a family, regardless of what ends up on the tables. For most
average families, it is the one time of the day when everyone is together and where
“family life” happens, so smoothing out this time is one of the best ways to make your
whole family happier.

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
KJ has this challenge for us…..
Find a moment today to look up and soak in the good. Choose a moment, any
moment. In particular, maybe a moment when it doesn't feel like things are
going great. Just to look up, look around you and actually take a moment to
list out all the good things that you have at the moment. The healthy child who
can't do long division, the options for dinner, the warm place to be if it's cold
where you are, the cool place to be if it's hot where you are and breathe on it.
Actually, allow the good stuff in your moment to soak right into your bones
and then, go deal with the kid.
tracking it.
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KJ Dell'Antonia
KJ Dell'Antonia is a regular contributor to the New York Times, where she covers the personal and
policy aspects of parenthood. She wrote and edited the Motherlode blog from 2011 until 2016 and
was a contributing editor to the Well Family section from 2016-2017. Before taking over
Motherlode, she was one of Slate's XXFactor bloggers and a contributor to Slate, where she covered
parenting and a broad range of subjects, from legal issues to pop culture.
Her book, How to Be a Happier Parent: Raising a family, having a life, and loving (almost) every
minute of it, is not a memoir—ten minutes in KJ's kitchen would convince you that, while some
parts of KJ's family life are enviably together (the Rice Krispie treats on the counter, the meal in the
slow cooker) others are works in progress (the child on the floor, wailing that the homework is “too
hard”). Instead, her research, interviews and reporting on the topic are geared towards helping all
of us figure out “how it's done” in the bits of family life we find most challenging.
She's the co-author of Reading with Babies, Toddlers and Twos (Sourcebooks 2006, second edition
2013), and contributed an essay to The Good Mother Myth: Redefining Motherhood to Fit Reality,
edited by Avital Norman Nathman (Seal Press, 2013), and another to Love Her, Love Her Not: The
Hilary Paradox, edited by Joanne Baumberger (SheWrites, 2015). Her work has also appeared in
publications ranging from Parenting Magazine to the Bellevue Literary Review.
An attorney and former prosecutor, KJ is a graduate of
Kansas State University and the University of Chicago Law
School. She lives in Lyme, New Hampshire, with her
husband, four children and assorted horses, chickens,
dogs and cats, although not goats. Her older daughter,
who has a very healthy idea of what additional chores
goats would involve, has forbidden goats. KJ is working
on maybe an alpaca.
Removing Shame from Parenting
with Mercedes Samudio

1. We all come with our own parenting identity. Different myths, decisions, and ideas
inform our vision of what we are supposed to be as caregivers as well as our
expectations for our family life. Not meeting those visions and expectations is one way
shame is created within us, and can impact our sense of self-worth, parenting
decisions and, ultimately, our relationship with our children.
2. One of our goals as shame-proof parents is to create a safe space for our kids to
come to us and say, “I messed up.” Then we can help them develop a healthier
resilience around shame. Part of that is realizing that we also mess up and giving
ourselves space to express those mistakes in a healthy way.
3. Shame-Proof Parenting is about building resilience in families around shame and

not about one person being “the problem” or “to blame.” It's about finding ways to
come together, talk to each other, connect with each other, learn together and build
resilience around what other people might say about us so we can manage our child's
and our own behavior in ways that is right for us.

Perspective Shi s
down here.
Challenge Time!
Mercedes has this challenge for us…..
Connect with your family by having a family meeting. Do it with an intention

of connection and not to bring up any issues or things you'd like to fix. Just
focus on the connection.
tracking it.
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Mercedes Samudio
Mercedes Samudio, LCSW is a parent coach, speaker, bestselling author, and founder of the
Diversity in Parenting conference which helps parents and children communicate with each other,
manage emotional trauma, navigate social media and technology together, and develop healthy
parent-child relationships. She is the author of Shame-Proof Parenting. Over the course of her
career, she has worked with adoptive families, foster families, teen parents, parents navigating the
child protective services system, and children living with mental illness.
Mercedes started the #EndParentShaming movement as well as coined the term Shame-Proof
Parenting – using both to bring awareness to ending parent shame. Mercedes is a leading
parenting expert and has an amazing following on social media that allows her to reach the hearts
of thousands of parents who feel heard and seen on their parenting journey.
She has been featured on The Huffington Post, US News and
Report, Woman's Day, LA Parent Magazine, CBS LA, and Kids
In The House. Mercedes seeks to empower parents to
believe that they are already great guides for raising healthy
and happy children. You can read more about her parenting
expertise at http://shameproofparenting.com
YouTube
Conclusion
Thank you for being a part of the Positive Parenting Conference hosted by AFineParent.com. We
have been honored to have you along on this journey where so many wonderful stories,
techniques, methods, and points of view were shared with us by our expert guides.
When you watch the masterclass videos, we hope you feel like you can be a more positive, patient,
caring, thoughtful, and dynamic parent.
Everyday, in different situations, we hope you see yourself pulling from what you have learned
from these 16 expert guides to inform the choices you make. We hope you respond more and react
less. We hope you acknowledge and leave behind the pressure to meet arbitrary parenting
expectations from society. We hope you let go of “shoulds” and “ought tos” and confidently do
what is right for your unique situation. We hope you relabel your children's behavior and
personalities, using more positive connotations. We hope you get more sleep.
We hope you feel comforted and inspired by all our expert guides to try these new techniques in
your own home with your families. And see what a difference it can make.
As we say around here, Great Parents Are Made, Not Born.
Go be awesome!
Appendix A
Printable Challenge List from Positive Parenting Conference 2019

Solutions for Everyday Parenting Relationship Focused Parenting
¨ Dr. Laura Markham -- This week try loving each ¨ Dr. Ross Greene -- Identify one expectation your
child as fully as you can, giving them what they child is having difficulty meeting. Start with the
need without comparison to their siblings. word “difficulty” and make it specific.
¨ Dr. Daniel J. Siegel -- Have a reflective ¨ Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka -- Focus on the
conversation with your adolescent. And get eight strengths and be conscious of the labels you use
hours of sleep. to describe your children. And second, choose
sleep.
¨ Joanna Faber & Julie King -- See how many
minutes you can go without issuing a command ¨ Pam Leo -- Develop a teeny "I love you" ritual for
to your child. each child.
¨ Kim John Payne -- Find a starting point for trying ¨ Ramona Zabriskie -- Today take time to “turn
to simplify things in your child's life. toward.” With your interest and your body
language tell them, “I'm here for you.”
Habits & Life Skills Happiness & Contentment

¨ Julie Lythcott-Haims -- For one week you ¨ Shawn Achor -- Write a 2-minute text or email
cannot ask kids about homework or grades. Have message praising or thanking someone in your life
normal human conversations instead. for something real.
¨ James Clear -- Find a two-minute version of the ¨ Lynn Lyons -- Pick three things that you are
habit you want to adopt and try to implement it currently doing for your child that they can do for
starting today. themselves, and then stop doing it.
¨ Jessica Lahey -- The next time your kid comes ¨ KJ Dell'Antonia -- Find a moment today to look up
home with a grade, talk to them about what they and soak in the good.
did to earn a high grade, or, if it's a low grade,
what are they going to change.
¨ Mercedes Samudio -- Connect with your family by
having a family meeting.
¨ Dr. Devorah Heitner -- Ask your child what their
least favorite tech habit of yours is.
Appendix B
Printable Book List from Positive Parenting Conference 2019

Dr. Laura Markham Dr. Dan Siegel Joanna Faber Kim John Payne
& Julie King
Dr. Ross Greene Dr. Mary Sheedy Pam Leo Ramona Zabriskie
Kurcinka
Julie Lythcott-Haims James Clear Jessica Lahey Devorah Heitner
Shawn Achor Lynn Lyons KJ Dell'Antonia Mercedes Samudio

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Section 2: Relationship Focused Parenting 24

Section 3: Habits & Life Skills 46

Section 4: Happiness & Contentment 68

v Relationship Focused Parenting

v Habits & Life Skills

v Happiness & Contentment

Solutions for Everyday

v Sibling Rivalry with Dr. Laura Markham

v Parenting Adolescents with Dr. Dan Siegel

v Handling Stress in Children with Kim John Payne

In these Masterclasses you will ﬁnd:

Click here to register to watch these Masterclasses for FREE on May

Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?

Dr. Laura has this challenge for us…..

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Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?

Dr. Dan Siegel has this challenge for us…..

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Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?

Joanna and Julie have this challenge for us…..

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Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?

Kim John has this challenge for us…..

As you listen to those four pillars of simplicity: simplifying environment,

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v Collaborative & Proactive Solutions with Dr. Ross Greene

v Parenting Spirited Kids with Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

v Decoding a Child's Needs with Pam Leo

v “Forever” Relationships with Ramona Zabriskie

In these Masterclasses you will ﬁnd:

Click here to register to watch these Masterclasses for FREE on May

Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?

Dr. Greene has this challenge for us…..

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Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?

Dr. Kurcinka has this challenge for us…..

1) The ﬁrst challenge is to focus on their strengths. Be conscious of the labels

2) And the second one is, choose sleep.

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Our Top 3 Favorite Tips From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?

Pam has this challenge for us…..

Pam Leo is an independent scholar in human development, a parent educator, a certiﬁed

Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

2. Respect is the foundational principle in any relationship that you're trying to

What do we need to start doing?

Ramona has this challenge for us…..

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v Fostering Independence with Julie Lythcott-Haims

v Behavior Change with James Clear

v School Success with Jessica Lahey

v Navigating the Digital World with Dr. Devorah Heitner

In these Masterclasses you will ﬁnd:

Click here to register to watch these Masterclasses for FREE on May

Our Top 3 Favorite Takeaways From this Masterclass

What do we need to start doing?