Kade Terry

English 102

October 26th, 2018

Stand-Up Anxiety

How I got here, sister stresses me out, work stories, music brings relief and big finish I go

through the set over and over in my mind How I got here, sister stresses me out, work stories,

music brings relief and big finish. The inner chant wasn’t really to remind me, I had already

demonstrated earlier in rehearsal that I had the set memorized. The constant going over of set-

ups and punchlines, when to pause and what to do, and what comes after what, only served to

soothe the tightness in my worry of something going wrong. I’m standing to the left of the stage,

obscured by a black curtain that hung down from the roof. Just two feet away was the open stage,

where the student just before me was performing his talent. I wasn’t really paying attention to

him, or most things around me. My focus was on my breathing, the pounding in my chest as I

realize that every second comes closer to me stepping in his place. A familiar question races

through my mind

Why do I do this to myself?

I push the thought away, imagining audiences laughing, this one and classrooms I had

performed in front of. The feeling of a successful line, the surprise and laughter of each

individual person. All of it in a blur of adrenaline as the joy fills my chest and I’m able to stop

thinking and just perform. My self-therapy is cut short by-

“And now we move on to contestant number eight, Kade Terry with a stand-up routine

prepared for us”

 I take another deep breath, smile, and grab the stool and water bottle. As I walk out on

stage I begin blocking out distractions, focusing on the first few words of my set. I’m sorry to

say I don’t have any songs like everyone else tonight, I only have my jokes. I didn’t think it was

clever when I thought of it but I did think it was a good way to segue into the set itself. With the

water bottle on the stool behind me, maybe too far behind what if that looks silly?- I push the

thought away and face the audience. I only see a black void, but I know they’re there.

“I’m sorry to say I don’t have any songs like everyone else tonight, I only have my jokes”

The first line goes out, a half a second passes, and the void is silent. No time to focus on that just

get to the meat of the jokes. “So my family knew I was in the Mr.VHS pageant about a week

before I did, and when they did finally tell me, it wasn’t very straightforward. I got a text from

my sister ‘Hey Kade, you’re going to get a phone call, just say yes’” A small bit of laughter from

the audience. Good, they’re on board with the set-up.

“So now I’m wondering what’s going on. Am I going to get a call ‘Hello Kade, we have

your sister, just give us access to your bank account and you can have her back.’”

Time for the first punchline. “No I’m good” Laughter comes out of the darkness and a

sense of relief filled me chest.

“Excuse me” the imaginary kidnapper replies

“Well she moved out a while back, so I don’t really see much of her anyway” another

round of laughter “How about I rent her out on the weekends instead. You know I give you fifty

dollars, we go see a movie, maybe to an amusement park, but Sunday night; back in the

basement” Another louder set of laughter as my first section of jokes ends.

Time for my sister stresses me out

 “And she does stuff like this all the time. A few months ago I look at my phone “Hey

Kade, what would happen if I asked to borrow five hundred dollars? By the way; don’t tell mom

or dad” I look at the audience in concerned expression, earning some more chuckles.

“She just wanted to buy a car, but she could have just said that. You know ‘Hey Kade,

I’m thinking about buying a car, what would happened if I asked to borrow five hundred dollars?

By the way, don’t tell mom or dad. Simple and easy language, but no, she wanted me to think

someone was about to break her kneecaps!” I step back and take a drink of water at the end of

this rant, letting the laughter die down before I moved on to the next section.

Alright time for the part you know like most

“I don’t know, but it stresses me out. Tell you what else stresses me out: I’ve worked at

the same fast-food place for the past two years. And once you’ve at a place like that for six

months, anything positive about it is long gone. So you can imagine the hell I’m living in right

now.” I hadn’t planned on saying hell but it definitely sounded better then nightmare. “Even the

discount, the privilege and gift that is eating food you love, is gone after the first six months. But

you still have to eat there! It may taste like cardboard, but its 4 dollar cardboard. And so you

suffer”

I smile as the crowd continues to laugh, finally feeling more relaxed being there on stage.

“And you meet a lot of interesting people once you’ve worked at a place for two years. A little

while back these two hispanic guys walked up to the counter and asked for jalapeños. I didn’t

hear him very well so I said ‘what was that?’ He turns to his friend ‘Jalapeños? Jalapeños?’ He

was looking for the English word for jalapeños! Am I that white?” Pause for laughter “That he

just assumes I’m completely out of the loop here? Did he expect me to turn around ‘Did you
mean Juhlohpeknows? I can get you some Juhlohpeknows!’” Work complete, time for the big

finish.

“Luckily there is something that makes it easier, and thats that we’re allowed to play our

own music in the back. It does tend to get a little distracting though. We’re singing along ‘Wuhh

ohhh! Living on a prayer!- Hello sorry thank you for choosing freddies may I take your order?’

‘Sun is shining in the sky, there ain’t a cloud in sight-Guest number 243 your order is now ready

please, guest 243.’ ‘Take on me, take me on, I’ll be gone, in a day or twooo’” I fall to my knees

as I let out the last note, the crowd clapping and laughing at the songs. I stand up and say one

more line to end the set “Would you like fries with that?” I grab the stool and walk off the stage,

satisfaction and relief flooding my chest. Though a bit rough at some parts, I still enjoyed every

second of it.

Exactly thirty-seconds after getting off the stage, the critic in the corner of my mind

unleashed itself on me. What were you doing with your arms? You forgot to make that comment

about your parents being in the audience. Did you even have the right facial expressions? Every

question has me jotting down mental notes on what to do better next time. This had been my first

stand-up routine, and though it was a bit rough at some parts, I still enjoyed every second of it.,

and planned to do it as much as I could.

Grade Negotiation Letter

 When it comes to storytelling, I don’t normally outline things. I prefer writing them as

they go, which makes it flow better in my experience. As usual I write whenever and wherever,

but always on my laptop. The only time I don’t is when I’m jotting down ideas in a small

notebook. My goals have always been to become better at writing. I’m always excited to learn

new ways to get better at storytelling and structuring. I appreciated the reviewing of punctuation

and other narrative lessons, since it's been several months since i’ve had any sort of review on it.

Narratively, I should improve on grammar, consistency of when I write, and writing endings a

little better. Consistency of writing is important, as writing often helps you find what you’re bad

at and practice those concepts. I suck at endings, mostly because I over or under think them and

what they should be. Hopefully I’ll get that figured out. I participated in the class fairly often this

unit, especially since writing narratives is something I love to do. Now for the grade that I think

I’ve earned. After receiving praise for the story from a variety of sources, i think i’ve earned an

A with this one. Its decently written, and gets the theme across pretty well. I applied the concepts

we reviewed in class, like the dialogue punctuation and having character thoughts. Overall, this

is a pretty good example of a personal narrative.