Wilson R.

Harvey
Counseling 668 – Crisis
Self-Care Paper

The articles we read regarding self-care this week definitely hit home with
my life, at least as it once were. The authors’ assertions that those who work in
helping professions are often the last to seek help certainly described me at times
(though not always) in the past. I’ll always remember the conversation I had with a
prominent student leader of FCA at Wesleyan, one in which he both lamented and
reiterated to me the fact that he was the rock for everyone else, and thus he couldn’t
show weakness. While that made sense to me in some degrees – professionally, for
example, we have to keep it together when working with clients – it also struck me
and still does strike me as a sad philosophy. By neglecting to care for my own life
and to notice the weight helping others might have on me, I am set up to miss a lot of
value in life and likely to drop in effectiveness of helping others as well.
Though I am generally busy, I don’t think that lack of relaxation is where I
have struggled with self-care. I generally find some time to de-stress, although I
must admit that it might benefit me to do it more were my schedule to permit it.
Instead, my struggles particularly in the past have been in regards to opening up
about those areas in which I am weak or where I was hurting. I never really stopped
to work with others on those areas where I might have faltered or struggled, and I
didn’t offer myself the chance to love myself as “perfectly imperfect,” as Eric might
say. Instead, for much of my life I forward simply projecting strength in care and
action for others, things that I learned to do quite well. And yet, despite good
intentions, my ignorance of self eventually poisoned my personal life. Though it
didn’t significantly affect me professionally, I suppose it certainly could have if I
hadn’t had paid attention.
Growth group was excellent self-care for me in the fall. As I continue
onwards, I think that allowing myself to freely admit when I struggle/hurt will be
the best self-care I can do for myself, as I already know how to relax relatively well.