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Youth Suicide: We Need to Make a Change

Bailey Stephenson

In high school, I met my best friends in theatre. There were five of us, we were called the

Fab Five. All five of us were inseparable. In this group was Sabrina. Sabrina was a 17-year-old

bubbly, goofy, amazing, weird person. She was the type of person that when she walked into a

room, she brightened it. Sabrina worked at Golden Carrol; we all hated the food but she loved it

and seemed to always bring us some of it. She was the type of person that didn’t care about what

people thought of her. She was just her goofy self all the time. Sabrina had always struggled with

her mental health but from what I knew she was going to see a therapist to help. The start of

senior year, we were so excited for everything that was supposed to happen that year. Prom, the

musical, our theatre competition, graduation. This was going to be the best year of our lives and

we were lucky enough to be all together. We thought.

The beginning of October, we all get a text from Sabrina’s mother saying that Sabrina

had taken some pills and tried to kill herself. Waking up to the text was heartbreaking. We

immediately found out where she was and drove to the hospital. Once we got there, we were told

that Sabrina was on life-support. The doctors weren’t sure what exactly was going to happen

because they didn’t know how the pills were going to effect her brain until she woke up. Seeing

someone you love hooked up to all of these tubes, is the hardest thing I have every had to see.

We continued to visit her that week. We hung pictures up around her room so that when she

woke up, she would know how much we loved her. We weren’t sure when she was going to

wake up or if she was even going to wake up. We got a call saying she woke up that week. We

immediately started texting her and calling her. We planned to go see her that Sunday. I was in

school that Friday when I got a frantic text from one of my friends saying that I needed to go to
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the office. I immediately knew what happened. She died that Friday October 20th 2017. I was so

numb. I wasn’t sure what to do or what to say. I didn’t know how to feel. I couldn’t believe that

she was gone. I never got to see her again. After she passed away, we tried our best to stay

positive because we knew that was exactly what she would have wanted us to do. Her parents

asked us to speak at her funeral, it was really hard but to get up and share all of the memories of

her, felt good. We were continuing to stay positive and try to keep it together until we saw

Sabrina laying in the casket. That’s when it became real to all of us. We said our final goodbyes.

After Sabrina passed, we had another teenager commit suicide from my school. This was

a very tough year for my community. When someone passes away from suicide, you can’t help

but question what you could have done differently. That’s what we struggled with for months

after her death. I kept thinking if I just called her, she would still be here. If I would have listened

for a little longer, she would still be here. Sabrina’s mom told us that Sabrina regretted it. When

she woke up, she apologized to her mom and us because she didn’t want to die. I wish that I

could have talked to her moment before she took the pills and told her that I was there for her

and that taking those pills weren’t the solution. I wish I could have hugged her so tight. Both of

these suicides had a huge impact on my community. It opened all of our eyes on how common

suicide is and how important it is to help those around us and to raise awareness for it.

How common is youth suicide?

“Suicide is the second leading cause of death for college age youth and age 12-18” (qtd in

“Youth Suicide Statistics”). Youth suicide is extremely common and most people don’t realize it.

The reason most people don’t realize it is because we don’t know much about it and people don’t

talk about it. Youth suicide is something that not many people bring up. It’s obviously not a

conversation for family dinner but is something that needs to be talked about so people can
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become more aware. There are multiple suicide attempts in our nation a day. “Each day in our

nation, there are an average of over 3,041 attempts by young people grades 9-12. If these

percentages are additionally applied to grades 7 & 8, the numbers would be higher.” (qtd in

“Youth Suicide Statistics”). This statistic should get people to talk about it more. This shows that

it happens more than people think it does.

What cause youth to commit suicide?

There are multiple reasons that youth commit suicide. There are emotional cause and

environmental causes to suicide. Suicidal teens usually feel like they are in a situation that can’t

be fixed unless they commit suicide. “Most teens who have been interviewed after a suicide

attempt say that what causes teen suicide are feelings of hopelessness or helplessness” (Tracy).

Teens have a lot of expectations to live up to. They need to get good grades, do extracurricular

activities, be social, be healthy. All of this pressure from parents, teachers, and coaches; can be a

lot for one person to handle, especially a teenager. Not living up to all of the expectations can

cause them to feel hopeless or helpless. This can lead them to think that committing suicide is the

only way to make it all go away.

In one particular study, it focused on hospitals seeing growing numbers of kids and teens

at risk for suicide. The most shocking finding during this study was a seasonal trend in hospital

visits (Haelle). Throughout the years, there were more visits in midfall and spring and less visit

during the summer. This suggests that there is a link to the stress of school. School should

absolutely be teens top priority; however, schools and parents are putting too much pressure on

students to be perfect. Another cause of suicide is social media. In this day and age, social media

is a huge part of teens lives. “It is one that offers not only the potential for help seeking and

support, but also hazards, such as those from cyber-bullying and self-harm bulletin boards that
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heighten risks for suicidal behavior” (Patton). That is where they communicate with their friends

and family. Social media also leads to cyberbullying. Social media makes it very easy for other

people to bully their peers because they are hiding behind a screen. Repeated bullying can cause

teens to feel hopeless and commit suicide

Depression is a leading cause of suicide. Teen depression is a serious thing; it causes the

constant feeling of sadness. It can cause teens to not care about activities or school “It affects

how your teenager thinks, feels and behaves, and it can cause emotional, functional and physical

problems.” (“Teen Depression”). Depression can be caused in many different ways. Some causes

can be early child trauma, hormones, brain chemistry, inherited traits. (“Teen Depression”)

Being depressed can cause a teen to feel alone especially when no one is helping them. Being

depressed is not something that a teenager chose to be. It is something that is caused by serious

things. Depression can cause teens to feel that there is no way out of the way they are feeling.

How can we prevent youth suicide?

Preventing suicide is not an exact science. There are ways to pay better attention to those

struggling and help them. There are warning signs to watch out for and tips for what to do when

you find a teen struggling. There are tips; however, the best thing you can do is to show the

individual that you are there. Don’t treat their feelings like they are nothing or they don’t matter.

Show them that you know their pain is real and you want to help them. If you make them feel

heard and loved, it will make them feel better. It will help them open up to you and accept your

help.

Warning signs are something that can be hard to see or not there at all. It is still helpful to

know the warning signs so that if see them you can help that person. Some warning signs are;

lack of energy, risky behavior, increased irritability, decrease in school performances, giving
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away possessions, intense sadness and/or hopelessness and substance abuse. ("Suicide in Teens

and Children Symptoms & Causes") Most of the symptoms can be seen by parents or teachers.

These are not the only warning signs. The best way to know what’s going on with your child or

student, is to talk to them. Be open about conversation. Ask them why they are feeling the way

they are feeling and what you can do to help them.

If you are concerned about the student or child, there are tips on how to handle the

situation. Here are a few; express your concern, really listen, maintain connection, be

compassionate, trust your judgement and prioritize safety. (“Talk to Teens: Suicide Prevention”)

According to the APA article “Talking to Teens: Suicide Prevention”, this is each tip broken

down. Expressing your concern shows the child that you care and understand. When you really

listen to what they are saying, don’t interrupt them because what they are saying is hurting you.

Listening to your child or student say these types of things can be really hard but you have to be

strong and listen to what they are saying. Maintaining connection is very important, make sure

that your child is staying in contact with friends and family and hang out with your child more.

Be more compassionate, remind your child how much they are cared for and how much you love

them. You need to trust your judgement, if your child or student says he is fine but you doubt if

they are being honest, trust your judgement. The most important one is to prioritize safety, if you

have weapons in the house remove them, remove medication, remove all harmful thing and if

you think that they are in danger call a mental health professional right away. If you believe your

child need therapy, find a therapist that will help them best and participate in therapy (Kaslow).

Parents are not the only ones that can help, the youth can too. “If you have a friend who

is talking about suicide or showing other warning signs, don't wait to see if he or she starts to feel

better. Talk about it.” (Lyness) Talk to your friend about how they are feeling and why they are
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feeling that. Be there for them. Support them through this time. Let them know that you are there

for them if they need anything. Listen to your friend without making them feel like their feelings

aren’t valid. As a friend, you can help them in a different way than a parent can. They will be

more comfortable talking to you then they will an adult. “Even if you're sworn to secrecy and

you feel like you'll be betraying your friend if you tell, you should still get help.” (Lyness) Let an

adult know what is going on. This will get your friend the help they need so that they can get

better.

How do we cope with youth suicide?

Even if support and love is given to a teen struggling, sadly sometimes that’s just not

enough. Coping with the loss of a loved one who committed suicide is very hard. You tend to

blame yourself and go through the situation over and over again. Coping is not easy so here are a

few things to try to remember. Accept your emotions, don’t worry about what you “should” feel,

care for yourself, talk to someone and talking to a professional ("Coping After Suicide Loss").

Dealing with your emotions can be very difficult but it doesn’t matter what kind of feelings you

are feeling you have to accept them and deal with them properly. You have to accept that it

happened. Don’t worry about what everyone is expecting you to feel. Don’t worry about how

your “supposed” to be acting. Handle your feelings the way you need to. Act the way you need

to. Everyone grieves in a different way; you are allowed to do it your way. Make sure you are

taking care of yourself; it is hard to focus on yourself when other people are hurting; however, if

you push your feelings aside to deal with someone else’s yours will never get resolved. Talk to

someone, talk to someone who is going through the same thing or an adult. Talking through your

feelings can help you better cope with them. If talking to someone else doesn’t work, try talking

to a professional who can break down what you are feeling and help you better understand.
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As a parent it can be hard to talk to your child about the loss of a loved one by suicide. It

can be hard to help them cope. Here are a few things that you should do; deal with your own

feelings first, be honest, validate feelings, avoid rumors and tailor your support ("Coping After

Suicide Loss"). You can’t help a child deal with their feelings if you haven’t dealt with your

own. Make sure that you talk to your child calmly. You need to be honest, “Don’t dwell on

details of the act itself, but don’t hide the truth.” ("Coping After Suicide Loss"). Talk to your

child about the death but don’t give the gruesome details. You need to validate their feelings,

help the child acknowledge and know what they are feeling. Talk them through it. Don’t tell

them rumors, don’t tell them all the speculations of the suicide. “Instead, when talking to a child

or teen, emphasize that the person who died was struggling and thinking differently from most

people.” ("Coping After Suicide Loss"). Tailor your support, let your child know that you are

there and they can talk to you but let them grieve in their own way. Talking to your child about

suicide is difficult and sad but it is best to talk to them about it rather than leave them confused.

If a student commits suicide there are some things that the school as a whole can do.

They need to handle the announcement with care, identify students that need additional help,

prevent imitation and keep the lines of communication open ("Coping After Suicide Loss").

When announcing the death, don’t do it over the intercom, you should have teachers announce it

in class. This is a sensitive topic that needs to be handled with care. Some students may have

been closer to the person then others. Try to identify these students and get them the support they

need. This is definitely something that helps. This is what they did in my school. They let us

grieve however we needed and helped us through it. Try to prevent imitation, avoid the vivid

details or any details at all. Just let them know what happened. While discussing it, chose your

words carefully, talk about positive thing about the person’s life and don’t use the term
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“committed suicide”. Instead, use death by suicide. Keep the lines of communication open, have

counselors around for the first couple weeks to let students get help if they feel they need it.

In Conclusion

Youth suicide is an extremely difficult thing to handle. It is a topic that most people don’t

talk about or know its severity. We need to talk about. We need to raise awareness. People can’t

argue that youth suicide is something that’s happening. Youth suicide may not have affected you

personally but it affects people around you every day. We can make people aware by knowing

the signs and actually talking about it. We can’t be afraid to talk about something that is

happening every day. It’s a sensitive subject but you never know who you could help by talking

about and making people more aware. My experience with youth suicide opened my eyes more

than I can explain. I look at the world differently. I live my life differently. I treat people

emotions differently. I am aware. I don’t want more kids to die to make people aware. I want

people to make themselves aware. Adults can make kids aware. Teachers can make students

aware. So many people have such a big impact on their community. They need to use that to

raise awareness.

Whether you knew about youth suicide before reading this or not, ask yourself these

questions. Do I have someone in my life struggling? Have I tried to help? What can I do to help?

What can I do to raise awareness? What can I do to help my community? How can I make

people know they aren’t alone? One person can spread awareness. All we need is one person.
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Works Cited

"Coping After Suicide Loss". APA, American Psychological Association, 2019,

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/coping-after-suicide. Accessed 5 Mar 2019.

Haelle, Tara. “Hospitals See Growing Numbers of Kids and Teens At Risk For Suicide.” NPR,

NPR, 16 May 2018, www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/05/16/611407972/hospitals-

see-growing-numbers-of-kids-and-teens-at-risk-for-suicide Accessed 5 March. 2019.

Kaslow, Nadine. "What to Do If You're Worried About Suicide". Child Mind Institute, Child

Mind Institute, 2019, https://childmind.org/article/youre-worried-suicide/. Accessed 17

Mar 2019.

Lyness, D'Arcy. "My Friend Is Talking About Suicide. What Should I Do? (For Teens)". Kids

Health, Kids Health, 2014, https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/talking-about-suicide.html.

Patton, George C. “Youth Suicide: New Angles on an Old Problem.” Journal of Adolescent

Health, vol. 54, no. 3, Elsevier Inc., Mar. 2014, pp. 245–46,

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2013.12.015. Accessed 5 Mar. 2019.

"Suicide in Teens and Children Symptoms & Causes". Children’s Hospital, Boston Children’s

Hospital, 2019, http://www.childrenshospital.org/conditions-and-

treatments/conditions/s/suicide-and-teens/symptoms-and-causes. Accessed 17 Mar 2019.

"Talking to Teens: Suicide Prevention". APA, American Psychological Association, 2019,

https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/coping-after-suicide. Accessed 5 Mar 2019.

"Teen Depression". Mayo Clinic, Mayo Clinic, 2018, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-

conditions/teen-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20350985. Accessed 17 Mar 2019.

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Tracy, Natasha. "Why Do Teens Commit Suicide? Causes of Teen Suicide". Healthy Place,

Healthy Place, 17 Jun 2016, https://www.healthyplace.com/suicide/why-do-teens-

commit-suicide-causes-of-teen-suicide. Accessed 1 Apr. 2019.

"Youth Suicide Statistics". Parent Resource Program, The Jason Foundation, 2019,

http://prp.jasonfoundation.com/facts/youth-suicide-statistics/. Accessed 5 Mar 2019.