Youth Suicide: We Need To Make A Change Deleted: We need to make a change.

I had a friend named Sabrina, whom I met her during my second year of high school. Deleted: .
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We met through theatre and ended up becoming best friends. We formed a group called the Fab Deleted: when I was in my
Deleted: 2nd
Five in theatre class and every member felt inseparable.. October of my senior year, Sabrina tried
Deleted: I met her

to commit suicide. She took over 60 pills in your upstairs bathroom after she got into an Deleted: we
Deleted: became
argument with her mom. Sabrina went on life support for about a week. We had hope that she Deleted: We had this little group in theatre class called the
Fab Five and we were all inseparable
would wake up. After about a week, Sabrina woke up. She was texting us and calling us. Two Commented [1]: ?
Deleted: was
days later, Sabrina died from the trauma done to her body from the pills. I never got to see her

again. I can’t remember the last thing I said to her. Why did a 17-year-old girl with her whole

life ahead of her, decide to take her life? What are we going to do to help these young people

hurting? Sabrina was a funny, beautiful, goofy, awkward, happy human. She had so much going

for her and with a split-second decision, all of that got taken away from her. After Sabrina

passed, another kid at my school committed suicide. He was a sophomore in high school. He had

so many people that loved him and cared for him. How are we going to stop this? What are we

going to do? “Each day in our nation, there is an average of over 3,041 attempts by young people

grades 9-12.” (“Youth Suicide Statistics”) That is a heartbreaking statistic. That is too many

young people. We as a community, need to make a change. Commented [2]: I liked how you told a story in the first
paragraph. I think you should go more into details
regarding what happen. I felt there were too many
“Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 15 to 24.” (“Talking to Teens: unanswered question in the story!

Suicide Prevention”) Suicide in youth is more common than most people thinking. There are Commented [3]: ?

many reasons that youth commit suicide. The most common cause of youth suicide is mental Commented [4]: did you mean why youth?

illness. Depression is very common in youth nowadays because of the stress they are under.

Teens have a lot of expectations to live up to. They need to get good grades, do extracurricular
activities, be social, be healthy. All of this pressure from parents, teachers, and coaches, can be a

lot for one person to handle, especially a teenager. Commented [5]: I understand what you're trying to put
out in this paragraph. I think you might want to reword
this as some lines were confusing at first!
In one particular study, it focused on hospitals seeing growing numbers of kids and teens

at risk for suicide. The most shocking finding during this study was a seasonal trend in hospital

visits. (Haelle 2018) Throughout the years, there were more visits in mid-fall and spring and less

visit during the summer. This suggests that there is a link to the stress of school. School should

absolutely be teens top priority; however, schools and parents are putting too much pressure on

students to be perfect. Another cause of suicide is social media. In this day and age, social media

is a huge part of teens lives. That is where they communicate with their friends and family.

Social media also leads to cyberbullying. Social media makes it very easy for other people to

bully their peers because they are hiding behind a screen. This can lead to depression which can

then lead to suicide. Commented [6]: Very brief facts, no details :(

Most people don’t know how to handle someone who is struggling with depression,

especially a teenager. One way to prevent a teen from committing suicide is for the parent to talk

to them about how they are feeling and teaching them how to handle their emotions. Growing up

is hard and there are a lot of pressures on teens if parents teach these teens how to channel their

emotions into something else that can help them in the long run. Parents to need to talk to their

child about depression and that its okay to have it but they need to do something to help them get

out of it. Teachers are also a big factor in this situation. Teachers are with the teen so much

throughout the day. If a teacher sees that one of their students isn’t acting how they usually act

they need to talk to someone and not be afraid to report something they see. Same with friends,

friends of the teen can be afraid to say something to someone when they see their friend sad or

going through something. You have to show the teen that there are people there for them and that
they are not going through it alone. That is one thing I regret with Sabrina is not being there
when she needed me the most but I can’t blame myself for that but that can be hard.
References:
“Talking to Teens: Suicide Prevention.” American Psychological Association, American
Psychological Association, 2019, www.apa.org/helpcenter/teens-suicide-prevention.
“Youth Suicide Statistics.” Parent Resource Program, The Jason Foundation, 2019,
prp.jasonfoundation.com/facts/youth-suicide-statistics/.
Haelle, Tara. “Hospitals See Growing Numbers of Kids and Teens at Risk for Suicide.” NPR,
NPR, 16 May 2018.www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/05/16/611407972/ho
spitals-see-growing-numbers-of-kids-and-teens-at-risk-for-suicide
Commented [7]: This is a good paragraph. I think all
throughout this rough draft going back and rereading
what's typed will help fix the grammatical errors. There
were a few sentences that didn't match up.
You asked for advise on what to write
I advise you start your writing with that same story but
very detailed. Suicide is something serious and I think
allowed readers to be able to connect in details lets
them feel what you felt. I'd say to tell the story then go
into details as to how it made you feel and those
around you. After that, go into why you think she did it
and what could have made her not do it. Focus on the
story first then start stating the facts after. Once this is
gone then you can talk about suicide in general and all
throughout that incorporate parts of the story into the
facts. In the end, summarize the impact of that story to
you and how its changed of affected you. idk
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