Husbands and wives just don’t think the same way. And so they have different needs in a relationship.

And you’d

better understand those differences, or you’ll have lots of arguments and hurt feelings!

Like your husband has a huge need to feel respected. That’s because respect and social status are big things in a man’s

life. From the schoolyard onwards. So your husband needs the respect of his parents, his peers, and especially you, his

wife. He’s always acutely aware of who respects who, and can’t feel your love unless he also feels your respect.

While a wife’s most important need is to feel loved and cherished by her husband. So words like ‘I love you’ are really

important to her. While he also wants to hear ‘I need you.’ ‘I’m proud of you.’

Men generally communicate by doing things together. So your husband struggles to understand the satisfaction you

get from simply sitting and talking with your friends. That just feels awkward to him. Your husband does want to

communicate with you. It’s just that he prefers to do that through shared activities rather than simply sitting and

talking.

But you need to sit together with your husband every day. And to talk through your feelings. Whether they’re

important, or simply amusing. You need that to feel fully connected. But it won’t come naturally to your husband.

FEELING PREPARED

You also need to sort out your thoughts through talking. So you probably tend to ambush your husbands with your

issues! But your husband needs time to sort out his thoughts on his own. So he’s likely to avoid talking about an issue

until he’s thought it through first. In fact, that need’s so strong that he might explode into anger if you insist on

talking right now.

But you really do need to explore your issues with him. So when he refuses to talk, that really feels bad. So what’s the

answer? Set up a meeting! Fix a time and place - no sooner than the next day - and agree the agenda. So he gets a

chance to think things through. Now he’ll come to the conversation feeling prepared, and happy to participate.

Your husband needs to express his love for you through sex. While you have to feel appreciated before you start

feeling desire. So always remember that your husband doesn’t just want sex for its own sake. He also wants to express

how much he loves you.

And of course, just like him, you do enjoy sex. But unlike him, you probably can’t start to feel in the mood at a

moment’s notice.

You need to feel connected emotionally before becoming intimate. Partly that’s also about being able to think about

sex in advance, so you can build your anticipation. But most of all it’s about feeling emotionally close.

So if your husband wants more sex with you, tell him he should spend more time just sitting and talking with you!