THE CHOICE OF PARENTHOOD

Question
Some people suggest that our society is filled with messages encouraging us to conceive and
raise children. Others suggest that the messages are encouraging couples to delay the process of
having children. Some suggest that couples live richer, fuller, happier lives without children.
What do you think? Consider all the sources that influence you (parents, grandparents, friends,
media, environmental proponents, government, and religion). What are "they" really saying in
terms of the value of conceiving, delivering, raising and supporting children? Write about which
influences you think have the most logical and rational ideas, which have the greatest power over
your thinking, and what you believe you will do when it is time for you to make the decision
about whether or not you will become a parent. If you are already a parent, tell why you became
a parent. Was it a well thought out decision? What led you to make the choice to become a
parent?
Answer
It’s hard to make the decision of whether or not to become a parent, especially in 2019.
When you think about all of the variables involved and the sources that influence you, the more
confusing the decision becomes. Personally, I’ve gone back and forth between the idea of having
kids and I feel like I will continue doing so for a while. Deep down inside of myself I feel
confident that I would cherish the experience of motherhood greatly. Yet after some time of
thinking about it, I realize that I don’t want to have kids because I’d feel selfish and a sense of
guilt. When the time comes and I have to make the decision whether or not I have children I can
only hope that it’s the I make the right decision for myself.
I can name off a million reasons as why having a child in this day and age is unjustified
and inexpedient. For starters, climate change and environmental proponents such as global
warming are causing fast approaching deadlines for us to get our act together before changes
take place that are irreversible. You also have to consider how unsustainable our primary
agricultural practices currently are in the United States, “agriculture – especially intensive
agriculture, characterized by monocultures and aimed at feeding farm animals – is one of the
sectors that generates the highest amount of emissions of CO2 (the main greenhouse gas). This
quantity can be compared only to the sum total of the CO2 emitted by all forms of
transportation.” (Perrone, 2018, p.1) I don’t feel morally good about raising a child in an
environment that will most likely lose its viability in the years to come, especially when no
serious action has been taken to prevent such a hostile habitat.
Lastly, it’s terribly depressing to imagine having postpartum depression, which isn’t that
uncommon. The book mentions, “about 11%-20% of new mothers experience a severe reaction
beyond the usual baby blues, comprising sadness, hopelessness, lethargy, detachment or
alienation from the baby, a sense of being overwhelmed, and even suicidal ideation. Only 15% of
these women seek treatment.” (Knox & Milstein, 2017, p.342)
 As the devil’s advocate in this situation, being a mother seems like such an enriching and
fulfilling duty. I think that one of the most powerful things about being a woman is that I am able
to grow an entire being within me, and develop a unique bond with my creation. One of the most
important influences that I have to consider when having a child is my partner. He has expressed
how much happier our lives would be if we didn’t have kids. He believes that we could spend
more time pursuing our own desires rather than raising an expensive child for the next eighteen
years. My partner also admitted that our dog is better than a baby in multiple ways, especially
because she is always going to unconditionally love us. He says that we don’t want to risk the
chances of bearing an uncontrollable child who hates us. When it really comes down to
procreating, my partner told me that if I really want to have a baby he’ll help me do so without a
doubt. Although it was very sweet, it made me even more uncertain. I wish that it was a decision
we both wanted to make together, rather than choosing to start a family on my own. My parents
also have opinions on the matter and have expressed their strong desire for grandchildren. Yet I
believe they’ll respect and love me, regardless of the decision I make.
Reference List
Knox, D., & Milstein, S. (2017). Human Sexuality: Making Informed Decisions (5th ed.) [with
Salt Lake Community College supplement].Redding, CA: BVT Publishing
Perrone, Tommaso (2018). “How Agriculture And Climate Change Are Related: Causes and
Effects” Lifegate, 06 March 2019, pp. 1–1.