What’s in a word?

By
Randall K. Holmes, ACH, CtHA

Do you realize how just a few words you say can impact, alter or change someone’s life?
Few of us realize just how much of an impact that just listening and saying the right thing
at the right time has on other people. We are usually more aware of the effects of saying
the wrong things.

Take a moment to think of someone who has made a difference in your life. Haven’t you
had the experience of having someone say something at a crucial point in your life that
made a positive impact or had a significant effect on your life? Maybe it was someone
who said what you needed to hear at just the right time. Or maybe it was just someone
who took the time to listen.

Therapist change people with their words, speakers influence people with their words,
and you affect people with your words, your attitude, and by just being willing to listen.
Few people are aware of how language affects them and others. The field of NLP(Neuro-
Linguistic Programming) grew out of the recognition that language affects the neurology
of the listener. Language is processed in the mind. The brain has to process each word,
just as the body processes food, only faster.

When you hear a word, such as “dog”, you have an almost instantaneous mental
representation of what a “dog” is to you. It can include a picture of a certain breed, size
and color as well as possible associated feelings of pleasant memories, and maybe even a
familiar auditory sound of barking, etc. However, if someone says the word, “chien”,
(the French word for dog), you do not have the same built in instant recognition unless
you know the language.
So, we see that well-chosen language guides and directs the thought processes of the
listener unconsciously. The mind is driven by language, by pictures, sounds, feelings,
sensations, smells and taste. Take a moment to imagine a bright yellow lemon. Now
imagine cutting the lemon in half as you see the juice drip from the lemon halves and you
take a bite. Does your mouth pucker from this description? Can you taste the sourness of
the lemon from just the description? Really look at the bright yellow ….as you bring the
lemon half closer.
So, rapport-based, sensory rich language directs the mind. Language can literally “draw
you a picture” of where your thoughts, feelings, needs, desires and other mental processes
should go. This is the influential essence of advertising.
But it happens in everyday communication as well. Even telling someone not to do
something directs them to do it. Let me give you an example from NLP.
Don’t think of a blue elephant. In order to make a representation of what a blue elephant
is so you can stop thinking about it, you first had to think of a blue elephant. I recently
saw an inadvertent example of the power of similar language when a young boy ran out
of a building toward stairs leading down to a parking lot. Sternly, the boy’s father said,
“Slow down before you trip and fall.” As I watched boy obediently slowed down, then
proceeded to stumble and only managed to keep himself from falling by grabbing the
guard rail.

The precise use of language can motivate employees