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See page 17 of this unii for more about how to use the

poi nt/quotation/comment

technique.

It is important to support your points with evidence and then provide some sort of

comment or further explanation about how to use this technique

of the point you have made. You will learn more

in a later section of this unit. As a first practice of

this skill, write one or two sentences about the passage with one aspect of the style

mentioned here - the use of metaphor to describe the elephant'

Try to:

s say something about what the use of grandmotherly conveys about the writer's

o:

:

TIP

Get Into the habit of regutartY

selecting articles or rePorts from reputable Pubtications and readingthem with an

'exam head'on - in other

words, anatYsing them for

styte and language as much as

for what theY have

to saY.

l"'.--*---------*-----,*:*-"'*'-':'-"*'--";

?

i

t

feelings towards the elePhant

a link this with any other way in which the elephant is described later in the passage'

Thewriter'suseofametaphortoclescribethewaytheelephantbehaveswitha

'grandmolherly air' suggesls that "'

SumrnarY

Remember these key points from this section:

I Non-fiction writing shares many similarities with fiction writing'

E The reading and analysis skills you develop for commentary will help your own

writing. Highlighting, listing or annotating key words and phrases in a text is an

essential

Part

of commentary.

The best responses to texts always support the points made with apt' direct quotations.

These should always be explained in terms of their effect on tone, mood or the

perspective of the writer.

Ftanming and stq"ucturing a esm?Y?entary

In this section, You will:

r

r

n

learn how to read and plan your response

select key words to help shape your introduction and response

learn how different introductions can focus on different elements in the text'

to have a mental or actual plan of how your commentary will be

It is important

Without it, you may spend too long on one aspect and not enough on

organised.

another.

A process for resPonse

In order to respond to a passage effectively, you should follow this guidance.

Read the passage closely at least twice'

Why? The first reading

purrugu, what

attow

shoutd be to get the overatl sense of the

happens and how it attfits together' The second wi[[

you to focus on the way the passage works, the specific [anguage

style and the mood created.

Divide the passage

if the paragraphs

of equa[ [ength, then divide the passage into roughly equaI sections

into equa[ sections' This can be done quite easily

are of regutar and fairty equal tength' lf they are not

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x it does not focus on audience - as this is not something referred to in the

You may wish to refer to

this example as you write

rntroductions in response to other extracts in the book

Write your own introduction

to the commentary on the

Kenya tourism passage on

page 14. You can keep it

and then have another go

once you have completed

more work on writing

introductions.

TIP

You can use conjunctions or

adverbials such as However,

os

develops, etc. to signal

your use of contrasting or additionaI ideas. They can

atso guide how you divide

your commentary. For example, in Introduction

A, however could signal the second part ofthe

commentary.

original task. The introduction works

particurarly well because the introduction 'sets up'what the

commentary might focus on:

x the sense of

cultural contexts meeting (being out of place in the worrd the writer

finds himself in)

E his relationships in the extract (with the elephant and with the crowd).

Different types of introduction

The focus you choose for your introduction can reflect the focus ofvour

commentary

Read two more introductions to commentaries on the orwelr passage:

A The writer seems to exptore the contrasting attitudes of the po{ice

officer. Initiaily, the officer seems aware that he has a job to

do,

grow in

although there is some reluctance on his part to do so. However, as

the extract develops, this undertying reluctance seems to

strength and undeimine his professionar approach to the situation

and eat away at his very conscience.

ln the extract the writer seems to begin with a negative and almost hostile attitude towards the task he has been given. He

appears to be at war with himself mentally, his instincts batttine

his conscientious sense of duty as a police officer. As the purruf"

develops this struggle becomes even more intense and the officer

views the experience with increasing horror and revulsion, with a sense of disbetief at what he has seen and done.

Which of these two introductions:

F suggests the shooting an Elephant passage develops and becomes more and

more powerful in terms of the feerings experienced by the writer?

x suggests there is a marked contrast between the writer/oficer's feelings at the start and at the end?

5ummary

Remember these key points from this section:

u

n

a

Plan your response to the passage in the methodical way you have learned.

Select words and phrases from the passage which will help to shape your

response.

write an introduction which uses its focus to help set the framework for the

commentary.

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