Eldest Child Syndrome

They say that it is a privilege to be the first-born child. Everyone is excited for your arrival and
you already have a well-planned life ahead of you. That is where the issue lies. No one wants their plans
ruined so imagine the amount of pressure the family put to the eldest with their expectations. There is
simply no excuse for failure.

Growing up achieving things more than an average student when it comes to school used to
make me happy. The sense of fulfillment it brings me is extremely satisfying especially knowing that I
make my parents happy. Everyone wants to put a smile on their parent’s faces and to make them proud.
Knowing that their child is going on the right path puts the parents at ease. But like everything else, the
will to become the achiever fades. It suddenly becomes tiring, old and boring. It does not seem as fulfilling
anymore. And if there is one thing a person does not want to happen, that is being forced to do something
as it already became a routine.

Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking of all the possibilities like what could have been me if
not who I am today. What if I did things gradually and did not push myself to my limits every single time?
Would things be different the way they are now? I bet it is. I would probably be less stressed now if that
was the case. Unfortunately, I just have to be extremely practical though it caused me lots of good things.

Our parents got so used to the fact that we always have something great to offer them with
every quarter that ends every school year. My sister’s report card and mine do not faze them anymore. I
guess that is why the thrill’s gone with studying. There is not much to expect anymore from those who
cheer me on. They have always been supportive but unknowingly they are actually making things harder
for me. I have to do great all the time not so that they can have something they can brag about to others.
My parents are humble, and it is something I have always admired them for. I have to do great because I
am the eldest child. I need to become a good example and despite me and my sister being past the phase
of finding our individuality, I will always be obligated to garner positive results.

As I grow up, I cannot help the stress the pressure of being the eldest puts on me. Instead of
enjoying every milestone in my life, I often feel fear of failing. I do not care about reputation but I cannot
help it if I disappoint my family simply because I failed. Simply because things did not happen the way I
told them how I envisioned it. I just do not want to bring them down.

It makes me happy that my family trust me enough to know that I am fully capable of doing the
things I want to do. For once, they have never doubted me nor questioned my decisions and beliefs. I
guess that is the silver lining of being the eldest. Everyone has strong faith in you and they believe that
anything is possible with you. On the other hand, it may not be the same to everyone. I may not have
everything I ever wanted but I at least have a functional support system.