Running head: Counseling Reflection

CPSY 420: Counseling Reflection

Olivia Collins
Loyola University Chicago
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Analyzing myself has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. This course has taken self-

analyzing to a new level since I am not scrutinizing one particular behavior. In this course I have

had to analyze my abilities on camera and receive feedback. I had to learn and then examine

certain skills and mannerisms. Evaluating mannerism that I was aware of turned out to be harder

than I could imagine because they made me trouble why I was still struggling with them.

Throughout this paper I assess the skills I learned in this course, my personal values, and my

understanding of the role as a professional helper prior to being in this course. I assess what I

learned about myself and my development in the areas listed above. Then I discuss these main

theories: critical race theory, intersectionality and queer theory which I would use as a helping

professional.

This course has taught me session management skills, basic listening skills and advanced

skills. Since starting this course my listening skills have increased. The skills I have learned in

this course have already began to pay off at my internship with undergraduates. I am a desk

operations assistant for Loyola Residence Life office where I oversee twelve desk managers who

each oversee twelve to fifteen students. I use more minimal encouragers with my staff at my

internship. I ask more open-ended questions in regard to how they feel about certain aspects of

their role as desk managers. For example, this past few weeks the staff has had conflicts with

scheduling. I asked them how I could be of assistance with scheduling their individual teams

over the Thanksgiving holiday. In the meeting where we discussed scheduling I noticed how

most of the staff were not using feelings to describe how they felt but when we were at the end I

asked them, “So am I hearing that you are all frustrated that your staff are asking for more hours
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but not willing to work with one another, is that correct?” I used reflection of feeling, a

counseling skill without even thinking about it to better understand my team. At the beginning

this was not a skill I was very good at. I had a hard time listening and finding a feeling when a

person was not using a feeling word. After the meeting was over, I sent a meeting summary. This

is the same as summary/paraphrasing but instead of in person I send it via email so that in case

anyone missed the meeting they know what took place. In person I tend to also paraphrase just

naturally to make sure the student’s and myself are on the same page about how to appropriate

handle scheduling conflicts. When the desk managers have issues with the desk receptionists

scheduling and other issues, I am empathetic. The desk receptionist tends to be the desk

managers peers which in turn makes it harder for them to discipline them when necessary. I

understand the discomfort the desk managers feel when they have to have progressive discipline

meetings with their peers. It can affect their relationship outside of work. I have had trainings

with desk managers who admitted it was more difficult for them to tell a peer that they are in the

wrong and will be written up for not following housing policies as a student employee. Recently

I self-disclosed to the staff that the uncomforted is not unknown to me. When I was hired in my

role two weeks later, I had to write up several people for not following the rules. The individuals

I wrote up were not my peers, but they were desk managers whom respect I needed in order to

successfully do my job. I still had to do my job. Now I regularly use self-disclosure to connect

with my staff which is not usually my style for teaching and learning but this course has taught

me that it can be useful professionally. Since being in this course I have gained new counseling

skills and fine-tuned skills I already had. I think I can still stand to improve in some areas, but I

think I have done a good amount of work when it comes to growing from how I use the basic

counseling skills.
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As someone who values relationships, authenticity, education, social justice and love this

course has reinforced that further. Since this course I think about how my relationships could be

improved or have possibly been stalled after taking this course. For example, I think I am way

more aware of when I am not displaying facial emotions during conversations with friends or a

partner. Before I knew when I did not show facial emotions, but I did not take it into

consideration how it could negatively be affecting my relationships with other people. Now

when I am talking, I communicate that I do care verbally and using attending skills over and over

again. As much as it is my authentic self to always have a resting bitch face, I know some people

are not used to that. I typically am authentic in admitting that, just like I have been in this course

and in my reflection papers. It is not that I do not value whatever discussions I am having, I just

have a face that looks this way. This course has made me more aware that education is important

as well as all the different styles to educate and all the different subjects one can learn. In this

course I have been able to see how some of us learn from visually watching a recording session,

while I feel like I got better simply from trying multiple times. Between the teaching assistants’

feedback and constantly doing videos, I feel like I improved because I practiced more. When we

did not have videos dues I would practice with my friends where I used all the counseling skills.

Another value I have is social justice. As for this course and social justice I feel like as a soon to

be higher education professional I will have some power to assist students in their ability to lead

in a socially just manner. Using the skills, I have learned I can listen to my students and help

them find methods in which they want to engage in social justice movements. I also value love.

Love is another personal thing I value because it is inherently in everything. We all express love

in different ways but it is one of the main components all cultures have in common. I have more

personal values than listed but these are the ones that I find to be key to who I am. My
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relationships have taught me about who I am, who I no longer want to be and how to be a better

person. Based on those relationships I have learned the significance of authenticity. Being

authentic has always been natural to me but the relationships I had have taught me I can grow

and learn and still be authentic to self. Throughout all of my life I have valued education. I have

always been curious and wanted to know and learn more in and outside of institutional

education. Social justice is something I have always believed in but did not have the vocabulary

to advocate for it or myself. I strongly believe that distribution of wealth, opportunities and

resources should be a given for all people. Love I value because I think it is something, we

should all have in common and want for all people. This course has further reinforced my values

of relationships, authenticity, education, social justice and love.

Coming from another helping profession (social work) to taking this course there was not

a lot I learned in the difference for framing. The skills are the theories are different and there are

different confidentiality laws therapist are held to but otherwise I think the professions are quite

similar. One of the biggest similarities I admire is that in social work we were told to be our

authentic selves and I have always been under the impression that therapist was not themselves

or had their same demeaners in sessions. I always assumed therapist separated their identities

therapist and person. This course has taught me that If I were to pursue therapy, I would morph

into one. The tools I learned would be easier to do plus with my own words. After seeing how I

have improved over this short amount of time, I feel like as a learning professional I would just

get better as time went on and no longer feel like two separate identities in session. Since

engaging in the course materials, I have learned where I lack in basic listening skills. I now know

I need to work on minimal encouragers and displaying empathy in my facial expressions and

body language. I have learned a lot about myself since the beginning of this course.
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Prior to engaging in this course, I had preconceived ideas about what it meant to be a

therapist. I thought it meant I would need to have two separate identities. An emotional therapy

self and myself. Since being in this course I have learned the best way to be a great therapist is to

merge the two. I need to know who I am and be aware that my core is who I am but constantly

evolving is apart of growing. I assumed therapist had it all together and came from perfect

families when in reality they have their own issues as well and generally see a therapist

themselves. I learned that therapist self-disclose because they feel connected to you, just as much

as you to them, it benefits the professional relationship for both parties. This course taught me

that therapist are really good at what they do because they listen to you. They listen to the things

you say verbally, physically and emotionally. They are simply reflecting what you already know

about yourself. So, the most essential thing I learned has been that as a helping professional the

best thing you can do is listen to you clients in every way. Listening and asking the right

questions to know what you need to know to be better informed about your client is the best way

to get to know them.

If I were to become a therapist, I would utilize queer theory. I would like to point out that

while this would be my main theory, I strongly believe I would use a mixture of theories based

on the patients I am seeing. The main theories I would utilize are: critical race theory,

intersectionality and queer theory. Critical race theory is a theory that has been around since the

mid 1970’s. Critical race theory is about the focus of examining race and racism in educational

systems. Intersectionality theory is another theory I also would utilize. This theory is a

framework that brings to light the intersections of multiple identities such as race, religion, social

class, gender, sexual orientation etc. The main component of this theory is how those identities

of power intersect and continue to marginalize and oppress. The last but most vital model I
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would use it queer theory. Queer theory is: “Define characteristics of queer theory include an

emphasis on the intersectionality of social identities; an explicit focus on an activist and

liberatory social agendas; and on ongoing purpose of destabilizing and delegitimizing social

norms related to gender and sexuality (Kasch, 2013, p.197). So essentially nothing is normal and

our current idea of normal is based on the white male perspective and queering something would

be to think of everything differently than what we currently do.

Based on what I value and the skills I have learned from this course these theories would

be ideal for the student development work I plan to go into. I would utilize them all in most

dilemmas with students. Below I will describe hypothetical circumstances in which a student

affairs professional can encounter and how these theories go with my professional identity.

Critical race theory would come into play with the skills I have learned as a higher

educational professional by me being competent of how to utilize attending skills when meeting

with students and discussing race related issues they have been through in the educational

system. Being empathetic to the racial discrimination the students I work with have experienced

is another way in which I will use my therapy skill learned. I would genuinely listen to them and

be compassionate. I would ask questions to ensure I am listening and that they are being heard.

When I was unsure or wanted to display, I was being attentive I would paraphrase and

summarize what the student had communicated to me. When the student was communicating

with me, I would be sure to use reflection of feeling to make sure the student is hearing the

feeling they are communicating to me that the situation makes them feel. In the end I would

either interpret or use self-disclosure depending on who they are and the type of relationship we

have and where that person is mentally with dealing with the circumstances.
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Using the example above, hypothetical students discussing race related issues with me, I

would think about the other identities the student holds and how that intersects with their race. In

this example, I would say this is an African American, Muslim, female, self-identified student. I

would use the same skills I described above to help the student process how she is feeling about

the in-class discrimination she is facing.

My values go along with all the theories but particularly queer theory. “Queer theory

began to form as an emerging school of thought in the early 1990s to question and challenge the

assumption that heterosexuality is normal, natural, and preferred” (Kasch, 2013, p.194). In all

my relationships, in the love I have experienced, in the social justice avenues I have taken and

the educational route I took in life nothing about them have been in the normal heteronormative

method. Throughout all of my experiences I have been authentically myself even in times when

it made it harder for me to succed or made me fail, which in turn taught me a lesson. “Queer

theory critically analyzes the meaning of identity, focusing on intersections of identities and

resisting oppressive social constructions of sexual orientation and gender” (Kasch, 2013, p. 191).

This theory is very beneficial to my personally and professionally. The more I am learning and

analyzing my own identities the more I realize how oppressed I have been and the more I have

oppressed myself and others unintentionally. I think of how I can deconstruct the methods in

place and be a better advocate for myself and others utilizing therapy tools to be better. Queer

theory is the most essential because it reminds me that there is no normal. Knowing that no one

is normal and that these ideas of normal are all simply based on historical perspective of white

heterosexual men. “The central argument of queer theory is that social norms and meaning

linked to gender and sexuality are only and always culturally and historically constructed,

therefore lacking objective or value-neutral truth and knowledge and serve to marginalize one
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group for the benefit of the other” (Kasch, 2013, p.197). All the students I work with will come

from different cultural backgrounds and historical past. As a professional I would keep this in

mind in all settings.

This course has forced me to analyze my mannerisms, my listening skills, and my

understanding of a helping professional. Throughout this paper I assessed the skills I learned in

this course, my personal values, and my understanding of the role as a professional helper prior

to being in this course. I assessed what I learned about myself and my development in the areas

listed above. Then I discussed these main theories: critical race theory, intersectionality and

queer theory which I would use as a helping professional.

Works Cited:

Kasch, D. (2013). Queer theory. In Jones, R., & Abes, E. (Eds.), Identity development of college

students: advancing frameworks for multiple dimensions of identity (pp. 191-212). San

Francisco: Jossey-Bass
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