Silence! The Musical (Libretto)

SILENCE!
The Musical
Intermissionless Draft 10-10-11
Music & Lyrics by Book by

Jon Kaplan and Al Kaplan Hunter Bell
Based on the Screenplay "Silence! The Musical" by Jon Kaplan and Al Kaplan
Contact for Hunter Bell:

Mary Harden
Harden Curtis Associates
850 Seventh Ave. #903
New York, NY 10019
212.977.8502
212.977.8420 (fax)
maryharden@hardencurtis.com
Contact for Jon Kaplan and Al Kaplan:

Carter Anne McGowan, Esq.
Sendroff and Baruch, LLP
1500 Broadway, Suite 2001
New York, NY 10036
212.840.6400
212.840.6401 (fax)
cmcgowan@sendroffbaruch.com
Silence! The Musical Intermissionless Clean Draft 10-10-11
ACT ONE
SCENE 1
Lights up. The set consists of four panels (garment racks with
black cloth) positioned symmetrically on the stage.
With each chord of the opening, the “lambs” enter one by one.
(Note: The costume pieces consist of simple fabric ears and paint-
can tops and socks for hoofs. All props and set pieces for the
concept of the show are simple.
As the lambs sing, Clarice Starling, a trainee at the FBI, enters in

a jogging suit. During the opening number, she will make several
crosses, power-walking, “climbing the rope,” warming up, all
iconic actions from the opening sequence of the film to indicate
her training at the Quantico campus.
(Note: At certain scene changes, we will indicate and see bold

typewriter letters revealing the scene setting, i.e. “Quantico,”
“Storage Unit,” etc.)
MUSIC 1- SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
ALL LAMBS
THIS IS THE STORY OF CLARICE.
SHE WANTS TO JOIN THE FBI.
HER TROUBLED PAST TORMENTS HER PSYCHE,
HER DADDY DIED WHEN SHE WAS NINE.
SHE MUST CONFRONT TWO EVIL MEN,
WHICH ONE IS WORSE IT'S UP TO YOU.
ONE LIKES TO COOK AND EAT HIS PATIENTS,
ONE WEARS HIS VICTIMS LIKE A SUIT.
HOMICIDAL FREAKS,
LUNATICS BEHIND STEEL BARS,
WOMEN MISSING SKIN,
DECAPITATED HEADS IN JARS.
AHHHHH!
AHHHHH!
AHHHHH!
AHHHHH!
2
THIS IS THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS!

YOU MAY HAVE NIGHTMARES WHEN IT'S THROUGH.
AND IF IT LEAVES YOU FEELING HOLLOW,
IT'S SCARED THE SHIT RIGHT OUT OF YOU.
THIS IS THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.
SCENE 1A-TRANSITION TO CRAWFORD'S OFFICE
MUSIC 1A- TRANSITION TO CRAWFORD (UNDERSCORE)
FBI GUY
Agent Starling? Crawford wants to see you in his office ASAP.
Clarice continues her journey to through “hallways” and “elevators”

encountering FBI guys, who wear hats and jackets with oversized “FBI” letters.
GUY #1
Morning little lady.
GUY #2
You lost sweetheart? I'll show ya the way.
GUY #3
Nice tits.
Clarice makes her way to the office, encountering Ardelia.
ARDELIA
Clarice!
Ardelia slaps Clarice five as she passes by.
ARDELIA (CONT’D)
Yeah!
The panels transition. The lambs bring on a desk and two office chairs to
indicate Jack Crawford's office. One panel has newspaper articles and
gruesome clippings concerning the murders of notorious serial killer
Buffalo Bill.
Music 1A out.
Crawford enters.
3
SCENE 2- CRAWFORD'S OFFICE
CRAWFORD
Starling, Clarice M. Good Morning.
CLARICE
Actually, it's Clarice M. Starling, shir.
CRAWFORD
You know, I remember you from my seminar at UVA on J. Edgar Hoover.
CLARICE
“FBI: The Fabulous Years”.
CRAWFORD
You grilled me pretty hard. (Clarice reacts) But, you got an “A”, yes?
CLARICE
Actually, it was an “A” minus, shir.
CRAWFORD
Nevertheless, I've called you in because your instructors tell me you're doing quite
well, and show a lot of promise.
CLARICE
I'm just trying to work hard...do my best.
CRAWFORD
Good for you. Let's have a look at your records. Let's see, you majored in
psychological criminology and minored in dance.
CLARICE
Tap, jazz and ballet shir.
CRAWFORD
Impressive.
CLARICE
Thank you.
CRAWFORD
Also says when you graduate, you want to come work for me in Behavioral
Science.
CLARICE
Yes. Very much shir. Very much.
4
CRAWFORD
We're currently interviewing all of the serial killers in custody, for psycho-
behavioral profiles. In the past, we've found these interviews to be helpful in
unsolved cases. Do you spook easily Starling?
CLARICE
No shir.
The phone on Crawford's desk rings and Clarice SCREAMS.
Crawford looks at her, then answers the phone.
CRAWFORD
(into the phone)
Crawford. I'll be right down. (He hangs up) Now, most of the killers have been
willing to chat with us, but the one we want the most refuses to cooperate.
CLARICE
Who?
CRAWFORD
The psychiatrist: Hannibal Lecter.
CLARICE
Hannibal the Cannibal.
CRAWFORD
What?
CLARICE
I said, “Hannibal the Cannibal.”
CRAWFORD
Clarice, that's delightful. Did you just make that up?
CLARICE
I think I've heard it before...maybe in the paper?
CRAWFORD
Hannibal the Cannibal. Wonderful. (He jots it down) Anyway, I want you to go
see him.
CLARICE
Me shir?
Clarice faces us and begins to sing.
5
CLARICE (CONT'D)
THIS IS IT, AN ACTUAL ASSIGNMENT, WOW!
CRAWFORD
I doubt he’ll talk, but it’s worth a shot.
CLARICE
I’M ON MY WAY,
NOTHING’S GONNA STOP ME NOW.
CRAWFORD
If he doesn’t talk, just give me straight reporting.
CLARICE
THIS I VOW:
I WILL OVERCOME THE ODDS SOMEHOW.
AND I’LL DO IT ALL JUST TO MAKE
MY DEAR DEAD PAPA PROUD.
Clarice turns back to face Crawford.
Underscore continues.
CLARICE (CONT’D)
Excuse me, shir, why the urgency? Lecter’s been incarcerated for so many years.
Is there a connection between him and Buffalo Bill?
CRAWFORD
No, there is absolutely no connection between Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill.
Immediately an FBI worker pokes his head on stage.
Underscore out.
FBI GUY
Here’s that report on the connection between Hannibal Lecter and Buffalo Bill.
CRAWFORD
Not now Macginnty!
FBI GUY
That’s not what you said last night.
FBI GUY exits.

CRAWFORD (CONT’D)
6
Here’s a file on Lecter, a questionnaire for him, and your ID. I want your report
on my desk by 0800 Wednesday.
Clarice tries to calculate in her head.
CRAWFORD (CONT’D)
That’s eight AM, Starling, eight AM, Wednesday morning.
CLARICE
Yes, of course.
CRAWFORD
Dr. Chilton at the asylum will go over all procedures. Do not deviate from them.
And one more thing Starling. Don’t tell him anything personal. Trust me, you
don’t want Hannnibal Lecter inside your head. Just do your job, and never forget
what he is.
CLARICE
And what’s that sir?
Lights up on Dr. Chilton, suggesting the scene has shifted from

Crawford's office to an asylum in Baltimore.
SCENE 2A- ASYLUM
Music continues.
DR. CHILTON
Oh he’s a monster. Pure psychopath! Total whack job! Looney tunes! Coo-coo! They all
are down here. They’re supposed to be my “patients”, but I’d just as soon dowse this hell
hole with gas and strike a match.
CLARICE
Well that would be arson now, wouldn’t it?
DR. CHILTON
Yes, of course. We’ve gotten a lot of detectives here, but never one as attractive as you.
You know Baltimore can be quite a fun town, if you have the right guide. Will you be in
town overnight?
CLARICE
I have instructions to return to headquarters directly after my meeting with Dr. Lecter.
DR. CHILTON
I see. Well let’s make this quick then. Crawford’s clever isn’t he? Using you.
7
CLARICE
What do you mean by that Dr. Chilton?
DR. CHILTON
A pretty gal like yourself to turn on Lecter? He hasn’t seen a woman in eight years, an oh
are you ever his taste!
CLARICE
I graduated magna from UVA. It isn’t a charm school, doctor.
DR. CHILTON
Then you shouldn’t have a problem when it comes to the rules.
The music immediately kicks into high gear and Chilton smarmily
clicks his pen and slides his way up next to Clarice.
Throughout the production number Clarice and Chilton dance. As

Chilton tries to hit on Clarice and seduce him with his tango
moves, the “lambs” enter to back him up with choreography. The
number also begins the journey down into the depths of the prison
to Hannibal Lecter’s cell. The panels shift to create a labyrinth of
corridors.
“THE RIGHT GUIDE”
DO NOT TOUCH THE GLASS

DON’T APPROACH THE GLASS
IF HE OFFERS YOU FREE THERAPY
TELL HIM “NO, I’LL PASS,”
HE’S A MIRACLE,
A MOST REMARKABLE FIND,
AN ANOMALY,
YES, HE’S ONE OF A KIND
HE’S A PSYCHOPATH,
TRULY OUT OF HIS MIND,
BUT BALTIMORE CAN BE QUITE A FUN TOWN
IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT GUIDE!
HE’S UNERRINGLY POLITE

BUT DON’T FORGET THAT HE’S NUTS
HE THINKS THAT I’M HIS NEMESIS,
HE HATES ALL OUR GUTS
SO LISTEN UP
THERE’S JUST A FEW PROCEDURALS TO FOLLOW
8
IF YOU GET TOO CLOSE

HE’LL GRAB YOUR FACE AND BITE AND CHEW AND SWALLOW
(spoken) Do you swallow Agent Starling?
HERE’S A PHOTOGRAPH OF THE NURSE HE ATE

HE BIT HER TONGUE, SHE TRIED TO RUN, BUT EVER TOO LATE!
Chilton flashes a photo in front of Clarice’s face.
IT’S ASTONISHING THAT SHE EVEN SURVIVED!

AS A SPECIMEN HE’S OUR NUMBER ONE PRIZE
IF YOU’RE FREE FOR LUNCH, WE CAN GO FOR A DRIVE
‘CAUSE BALTIMORE CAN BE QUITE A FUN TOWN
IF YOU HAVE THE RIGHT GUIDE
HE MIGHT ATTEMPT TO SHOCK YOU WITH HIS RAZOR QUIPS

DON’T PASS HIM ANY PENCILS, PENS OR PAPER CLIPS
I KEEP HIM IN THE BASEMENT,
IF HE TALKS TO YOU IT’S FINE.
BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING,
REMEMBER DEAR, HE’S MINE!
HE MIGHT TOY WITH YOU IF HE THINKS YOU’RE CUTE,

BUT IF YOU PISS HIM OFF HE MIGHT SHUT DOWN
AND ACT LIKE A MUTE
I’M A LISTENER IF YOU’D LIKE TO CONFIDE,
I HAVE FAITH IN YOU
THOUGH HE’S ONE HELL OF A RIDE
IF HE WON’T PLAY BALL
WE CAN SAY THAT YOU TRIED,
DON’T GET NERVOUS NOW,
I’LL BE RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE,
‘CAUSE BALTIMORE CAN BE QUITE A FUN TOWN,
LAMBS
BALTIMORE CAN BE QUITE A FUN TOWN,
ALL
THE RIGHT GUIDE!
Chilton ends up on one knee, his arms apart. He breathes heavily.

Clarice looks at him, says nothing. We have arrived just outside
the hallway to Lecter’s cell.
9
CHILTON
Shall we?
CLARICE
Dr. Chilton, if you and Lecter don’t get along, then maybe I’ll have more luck by
myself.
DR. CHILTON
You couldn’t have thought of that upstairs?
CLARICE
But then I would have missed your lovely singing and dancin’, sir.
CHILTON
All right then, kitten, he’s all yours. (Barney enters) When she’s finished, Barney,
bring her out.
Chilton exits. The same actress who plays Ardelia will play
Barney, the African-American prison worker. Simply a finger for a
moustache indicates her transformation.
SCENE 3-TRANSITION TO LECTER’S CELL
BARNEY
(deep voice)
Hi. I’m Barney.
CLARICE
Hello Barney. I’m Agent Starling.
BARNEY
Nice to meet you. Now, he told you to run right up and start screaming and
banging on the glass? Right?
CLARICE
Actually, he told me the opposite. Not to—
BARNEY
(laughing)
I’m just fucking with you. Stay away from the glass! I’ll be watching. You’ll do
fine.
MUSIC 2A- WALK TO LECTER
10
Clarice makes her way down the panels, which have been
positioned to indicate the long, creepy prison hallway leading to
Lecter. The “lambs” quickly transform to indicate various
psychopaths and inmates en route to Hannibal.
INMATE #1
(creepy old man voice)
Hello lady!
INMATE #2
(dignified voice)
I just shit in my pants and there’s nothing you can do about it.
INMATE #3
Crosses menacingly then twirls one of the prison bars he’s clutching like a baton.
MIGGS
I can smell your cunt!
Clarice reacts and walks to the last cell: Lecter’s. A desk with a
large Plexiglas window indicates his cell and is positioned into
place. Behind the “glass” stands Hannibal Lecter perfectly still,
with icy-penetrating eyes.
Underscore ends.
SCENE 4-LECTER’S CELL
DR. LECTER
Good morning.
CLARICE
Dr. Lecter, my name is Clarice Starling. May I speak with you?
DR. LECTER
A census taker tried to test me once. I ate his...
CLARICE
...liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti (she makes sucking, slurping
noise). I know.
The lambs enter one by one throughout the scene. Like a Greek
chorus, they react and support Lecter’s humor, intentions and
emotions. Although not seen by Clarice, she feels their presence.
11
(Note: The lambs will be used throughout the show not just for
practical purposes (props/panel transitions, etc.) but also to
represent the lambs in Clarice’s head. As she progresses in her
journey, the lambs’ presence shifts as well.)
DR. LECTER
Truth be told, it was an indifferent ‘31 Beaujolais and a fluffy rice pilaf. You‘re
with Jack Crawford, aren’t you?
CLARICE
Yes.
DR. LECTER
May I see your credentials?
She presents an ID.
DR. LECTER (CONT’D)

That’s an appointment card for a high colonic. I see you’ve chosen the large
nozzle. Impressive.
Clarice realizes her mistake and quickly pulls out her proper ID.

Closer...closer...closer!
Clarice is pressed completely against the glass now. Her face is

mashed into a hideous configuration.

Expiration: one week. You’re not real FBI, are you?
CLARICE
I’m a student, shir.
DR. LECTER
Jack Crawford sent a trainee to me?
CLARICE
I’m here to learn from you. Perhaps you can decide if I’m qualified to do that.
DR. LECTER
Well, well, well. That is rather slippery of you Agent Starling. Please sit.
12
Clarice sits and notices Lecter’s drawings. They are stick figure
kindergarten doodles.
CLARICE
Did you do all these drawings doctor?
DR. LECTER
Yes. Yes I did.
CLARICE
All of that detail from memory shir?
DR. LECTER
With no view, memories are all I have Agent Starling.
CLARICE
Well, they’re very good.
DR. LECTER
Yes, I know.
CLARICE
I wonder Dr. Lecter, if perhaps you’re as good at filling out surveys, as you are at
drawing? I have here...
DR. LECTER
No, no, no Agent Starling! You were doing so well. Polite conversation, eye to
eye contact, and then this. This clumsy segue-way to get me to fill out a survey.
Boring. Tell me, what did Miggs say to you. Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He
hissed at you. What did he say?
CLARICE
He said, “I can smell your cunt.”
13
MUSIC 3- IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT
DR. LECTER
I see. I myself cannot.
The lights transition as Lecter sings.
IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT,

SHE'D HELP ME TASTE HUMANITY AGAIN
AND IF I PROMISE NOT TO EAT HER THEN
PERHAPS SHE'D EVEN BE MY FRIEND.
IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT
IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT.
THIS LITTLE WEST VIRGINIAN HICK

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT MAKES HER TICK
IF ONLY SHE WOULD LET ME PICK HER PRETTY BRAIN.
PERHAPS A NEW RELATIONSHIP,

THE KIND THAT CHALLENGES MY WIT,
THE KIND THAT DOESN'T LEAVE BEHIND A BLOODY STAIN.
I'D LIKE TO TELL HER I DON'T CARE,

BUT SOMETHING IN HER EYES.
I'D LIKE TO TELL HER LIFE'S NOT FAIR,
BUT RIGHT ABOVE HER THIGHS...
IF I COULD HELP HER SOLVE THIS CASE

PERHAPS THEY'D LET ME LEAVE THIS PLACE
FOR ONE THAT HAS A BIT MORE SPACE
I WANT TO SEE A TREE!
LONELY, LONELY LUNATIC

I'M CHARMING BUT I'M ALSO SICK
I NEED AN AUDIENCE FOR MY SCHTICK
PERHAPS IT COULD BE SHE!
Midway through the song, “Dream Lecter” and “Dream Clarice”

enter the stage and execute and elaborate and stunning, yet risqué
pas-de deux.
14
LAMBS
(With Lecter)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
LECTER
IF SHE WOULD GRANT MY SIMPLE LITTLE WISH
I COULD ILLUMINATE THAT DUNGEON WITH BUT
ONE SMALL WHIFF OF TUNA FISH!
I'D GIVE HER WHAT SHE WANTS
Lambs out.
IS THIS WHO I REALLY AM,

HALF A MONSTER, HALF A MAN?
I WANT TO SMELL HER BEARDED CLAM
I ALMOST CAN!
TRAPPED BEHIND THIS PAIN OF GLASS,

A GENIUS OF TASTE AND CLASS
JUST SITTING ON HIS BRILLIANT ASS
AND NOW THIS WOMAN!
IF I COULD BEND HER TO MY WILL,

COERCE HER TO CONFIDE.
JUST THINK OF ALL THOSE BEANS SHE'LL SPILL,
I'M TINGLING INSIDE!
LAMBS
(With Lecter)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
IF HE COULD ONLY SMELL HER CUNT
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
LECTER
IF I COULD TOUCH THE WINDOW TO HER SOUL.
IT'S NOT DISGUSTING, IT'S A METAPHOR,
IT'S MORE THAN JUST A HAIRY HOLE.
15
Lambs out.
Ballet dance break.
LECTER (con’t)
CAN I BREAK HER? TIME WILL TELL,
EIGHT YEARS ROTTING IN THIS CELL,
FEELS A LOT LIKE I'M IN HELL,
IF ONLY I COULD SMELL HER CUNT...
At the completion of the number, the lambs restore the borders

around Lecter’s cell.
CLARICE
(as if she’s been sitting through the entire song)
Dr. Lecter, if you could just look at the survey...
DR. LECTER
(referring to the survey)
You send that on through now.
She places it in his “tray” and slides it through.
DR. LECTER (CONT'D)

You wouldn’t be fishing for information on “Buffalo Bill,” now would you?
CLARICE
What? Buffalo who?
He studies questionnaire.
DR. LECTER (CONT'D)

Oh Agent Starling, do you think you can dissect me with “a,b,c, or none of the
above”?
CLARICE
No, I just...
MUSIC 3A- LECTER ANALYZES CLARICE
The lambs surround Clarice and quietly “ oooh” an ominous

melody at her as Lecter “dissects” her.
16
LAMBS
(as Lecter speaks Lambs sing)
AHHHHHH
AHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHH
DR. LECTER
You know what I see when I look at you? I see a little girl; a scared little girl in an
asylum in Baltimore looking at me in a prison cell. She’s wearing a brown jacket
and a white shirt. She’s also wearing pants and has a briefcase. Her eyes are blue,
her hair: short and brown. Might even be a wig...and she works for Jack Crawford
at the F.....B.....I....
Lambs out. Underscore out.
CLARICE
You shee a lot doctor, but why don’t you point that high-powered perception at
yourself?
DR. LECTER
You fly back to school little Starling. Fly, fly, fly.
Clarice is overcome. She tentatively makes her way back down the
corridor. As she passes Miggs’ “cell”, his back is turned to us with
his correctional suit pulled down to his waist. Clearly he is jacking
off, but having a tough go at it.
MIGGS
Hey lady, I got something for ya! Yeah ole Miggs has got something for you. Here
it comes...oh yeah...
CLARICE
Are you...?
MIGGS
(matter of factly)
Can you just not talk right now? I need to concentrate. This never happens, just
give me a second. (he goes to shoot) Oops...not there yet. Here we go. Oh
yeah...oh yeah...AHHHH! Oh yes! Right in your F-B-eye! (He “shoots” on
Clarice, and by shoot a can of silly string sprays on her face)
CLARICE
Oh my god!
17
Underscore begins as the “lambs” help transform the panels, re-

configuring the space.
MUSIC 3B- CUNT REPRISE
DR. LECTER
Agent Starling! Agent Starling!
Clarice races back to face Lecter. She presses her face close to the
glass, panting and emotional.
DR. LECTER
CLARICE DON’T LEAVE
I BID YOU STAY
THIS JUST BECAME YOUR LUCKY DAY
I’M GONNA THROW A TIP YOUR WAY
YOU SAID YOU NEED MY HELP...
CLARICE
You’ll do the survey?
DR. LECTER
No survey! But I will give you a chance for what you desire most.
CLARICE
A kitten?
DR. LECTER
No! Advancement!
THE KILLING IF YOU WANT TO STOP IT
TAKE IT FROM THIS EVIL PROPHET
FIND MY PATIENT OLD MISS MOFFET
LOOK WITHIN YOURSELF
Now go! GO!
Clarice runs out as the lights shift. The set pieces are struck,
leaving Lecter alone on stage with his thoughts in song.
LAMBS
(With Lecter)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
IF HE COULD ONLY SMELL HER CUNT
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
18
LECTER
IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT
IF I COULD MAKE HER SEE BEYOND HER FEAR
SHE’D LEARN I’M NOT SO BAD
I’M USEFUL
I CAN START HER ON A FINE CAREER
SCENE 5- TRAINING MONTAGE/FIRING RANGE
MUSIC 4- SILENCE MONTAGE
We are at the FBI shooting range with Clarice and Ardelia firing
their “guns” (which for our purposes means pointed gun fingers).
SFX: Gun Fire
ARDELIA
Clarice, I’m worried about you. Ever since meeting with Lecter, you’ve just been...I don’t
know...distant. I want you to be careful with all of this.
CLARICE
I can take care of myself.
SFX: Gun Fire

(she puts on ear phones and fires a round, she misses)
Darn!
ARDELIA
(Ardelia cozies behind her and “guides” her) Here, just relax. Look straight ahead. Eyes
on the prize. (Clarice fires) Bull’s eye. Now that’s more like it! That’s my girl!
Crawford enters.
CRAWFORD
Starling! (to Ardelia)Would you excuse us a moment?
Ardelia exits.
CRAWFORD
Starling...Miggs is dead.
CLARICE
19
(confused with headphones on)

What?
CRAWFORD
(removing her headphones)
Miggs is dead.
CLARICE
Miggs?
CRAWFORD
Multiple Miggs from the asylum. He came on your face?
CLARICE
(light blub)
Oh! Miggs Miggs! Right! So what happened?
CRAWFORD
Well at first they thought he broke his neck trying to suck his own dick, but it
wasn’t that at all. Apparently Barney overheard Lecter whispering and taunting
Miggs all night, and it seems Miggs swallowed his own tongue. (a beat) Starling?
You okay?
CLARICE
Yes shir. I'm...I'm fine.
CRAWFORD
If at any point this is getting to be too much...
CLARICE
No shir. I'm the right man for the job.
Clarice adjusts her wig.
CRAWFORD
Lecter mentioned something to you about a former patient Miss Moffet. Any
leads?
CLARICE
Well the other night, Ardelia was giving me a back rub when the phone rang,
startled us both and I jumped up, knocked my head on this shelf and it hit me.
CRAWFORD
The shelf?
20
CLARICE
Yes. Lecter said “look within yourshelf” but he was trying to fool me. Where do
you find a shelf, Mr. Crawford? In a storage unit, so I looked in the yellow pages,
and there it was the “Yourshelf Storage Facility” in downtown Baltimore with a
unit registered to “Miss Hester Mofet”!
CRAWFORD
Good work Starling. Keep me up to date, and be careful.
CLARICE
(calling out to Crawford as he leaves)
I can take care of myshelf!
Crawford reacts and exits. Clarice puts back on glasses and

earphones and raises gun to fire again. She is shaky, unable to
concentrate. We hear from off stage a cacophony of voices and
sounds representing voices within her head.
DR. LECTER
Fly back to school little Starling-arling-arling.
MIGGS
I can smell your cunt-unt-unt.
LITTLE GIRL VOICE

Did you get any bad guys today Papa-apa-apa?
BARNEY
Hi I'm Barney.
The voices start to overlap.
LITTLE GIRL VOICE

Did you get any bad guys today Papa-apa-apa?
DR. LECTER
I know you are but what am I.
LITTLE GIRL VOICE

Did you get any bad guys today Papa-apa-apa? Papa-apa-apa-apa!
OFFICER
All units, we have an officer down! (in the clear) All units, we have an officer
down!
21
She takes off her earphones.
CLARICE
(overcome with emotion)
No.
Lamb enters and claps erasers full of chalk to create ”smoke.”
Lights up on her father, in his Sheriff's uniform, right out of a

Norman Rockwell print.
PAPA SHTARLING
(with Clarice's lisp)
Clarice? Punkin' cookie?
CLARICE
Papa? Is that you? Papa can you hear me?
MUSIC 5- PAPA SHTARLING
PAPA SHTARLING
HEY LITTLE LADY
'MEMBER ME?
IT'S PAPA SHTARLING
DON'T YOU CRY.
I USED TO HOLD YOU UP AND SPIN YOU
JUST KEEP YOUR CHIN UP
YOU CAN FLY...
CLARICE
Oh Papa...I just...I just...(she is overcome with emotion and cannot speak)
PAPA SHTARLING
Shhh. Shhhh. You're doing great kiddo. Hang in there.
CLARICE
Papa, are you okay?
PAPA SHTARLING
IT'S VERY LONELY BEING DEAD,
JUST THOUGHT I'D COME AND SAY HELLO.
HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS PAINFUL FLASHBACK,
BUT NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO.
CLARICE
I miss you so much papa.
22
PAPA SHTARLING
IT'S VERY LONELY BEING DEAD...
SCENE 6-STORAGE FACILITY
The lambs position the black panels to create the “Yourself”

Storage facility.
A mysterious old man with no hands leads Clarice up to a storage

unit.
OLD MAN
(high, wispy voice, Transylvanian accent)
Ah, here we are, unit 31. Paid in full for a 10-year duration, registered to Miss
Hester Mofet.
CLARICE
And no one's been in this unit for a while?
OLD MAN
Not that I know of. Privacy is of great concern to my customers.
CLARICE
I'll leave everything the way I found it.
Clarice struggles to lift the “door” punctuated by exaggerated

Jodie Foster grunts.
CLARICE (CONT'D)
Uh...uh...It's stuck.
OLD MAN
I would offer to help, (ominously) but I have no hands.
Clarice gets the “door” pried open enough to slide through.
CLARICE
Um...in case this door slams or - heh- heh- anything else happens, just call this
number. It's our Baltimore branch.
Clarice hands the old man a card, he fumbles to get it, but he has
no hands, and it repeatedly drops to the ground as he tries to grab
it with his empty sleeves.
23
CLARICE (CONT'D)
You know what? That's all right. I'll be fine. Wish me luck!
The old man checks his watch (revealing that he does in fact have
hands) and exits.
MUSIC 5A- HEAD IN A JAR
The panels part. Clarice steps into the storage unit. Blackout with
just her flashlight beam. She shines it on spider and screams, she
shines it on glowy eyed rat screams louder. She shines it on a
Beaver movie poster and screams the loudest. Then she makes a
macabre discovery of a preserved human head in a glass jar.
SCENE 7-AGENT SHTARLING
MUSIC 6 - IT'S AGENT SHTARLING
In the following number the lambs strike the panels and “storage
unit”. They back up Clarice with full “Fosse” style and bowler
hats with lamb ears in an elaborate production number.
CLARICE
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
I COULD MAKE IT THIS FAR
IN SO LITTLE TIME?
LOOK IN THE CAR
THERE'S A HEAD IN THE JAR
IT'S THE SCENE OF A CRIME.
NOW THEY CAN'T HOLD ME BACK

'CAUSE I JUST RAISED THE BAR
I'M ON FIRE, CALL THE PRESS
HERE I AM, HOLD YOUR BREATH
I'M A SHTAR
IT'S AGENT SHTARLING.
The action shifts to Lecter's cell.
CLARICE (CONT'D)
Your anagrams are showing doctor. I found your old patient, “Hester Mofet.”
“Hester Mofet?” “The rest of me”? “Miss the rest of me?” You wanted me to find
“Miss Mofet.” Didn't you?
24
DR. LECTER
His real name is Benjamin Raspail. He was a former patient, and no, I did not kill him. I
merely found his head, and did what any decent human being would do: put it in a jar and
placed it in an elaborate mise en scene.
CLARICE
The makeup, lashes...was Raspail a transvestite?
DR. LECTER
He sometimes moonlit as Shenita Quit (or inserted drag name du jour), lip-
synching flawlessly to Helen Reddy, but more importantly, he was a guinea pig…
a fledgling killer's first attempt at transformation!
Lecter exits and the Lambs return to sing and dance with Clarice.
CLARICE
RIDDLES AND ANAGRAMS
OH HOW HE THRIVES
ON HIS CUTE LITTLE GAMES
DON'T REALLY MIND AT THE END OF THE DAY
IF HE'S GIVING ME NAMES.
AND NOW THAT I'M MAKING A DIFFERENCE,

THE GUYS WON'T BELITTLE ME BACK AT THE BASE.
GUESS IT'S A GOOD THING THAT MULTIPLE MIGGS
SHOT A LOAD IN MY FACE.
We transition to an FBI Agent, Crawford, and Clarice in a

helicopter indicated by a configuration of chairs, a desk, and SFX
of helicopter.
CRAWFORD
So Starling, here's what we know. He keeps the bodies for three days, shoots
them, skins them, and then dumps them.
Crawford hands her the case file. Clarice opens an oversized

picture.
CRAWFORD (CONT'D)
This photo is of the first victim, Frederica Bimmel. Tell me what you see.
FBI GUY
I can see my house from here!
25
CLARICE
White male…lives alone. He's establishing trademarks, like when Wayne Gacy
gagged his victims with their own underwear so that they died in their own vomit.
CRAWFORD
Excellent work Starling! My instincts were right about you.
The scene shifts out of the helicopter.
CLARICE (CONT'D)
CRAWFORD'S REWARDING ME
NOW I'M OFFICIALLY PART OF THE CHASE.
ALL OF YOU BASTARDS HAD BETTER KEEP UP
'CAUSE I'M SETTING THE PACE.
I'M EXCITED I CONFESS

WON'T MY TEACHERS BE IMPRESSED
I'LL BE QUANTICO'S LITTLE DARLING
THERE ARE LIVES ON THE LINE
AND THIS SEVERED HEAD'S A SIGN
THAT THIS CASE SHOULD BE MINE,
IT'S AGENT SHTARLING!
Music out.
The scene shifts to the morgue where we are about to perform an

autopsy. The lambs transform to play their various roles.
CRAWFORD
Whenever you're ready Starling.
SHERIFF
That womern's gonna do the work?
CRAWFORD
Sheriff please. She's practically a man. (He nods to coroner) Go ahead Starling.
CLARICE
(into her recorder)
She's um...fat...really, really fat.
FBI GUY
How fat is she?
26
CLARICE
She's so fat that if she jumped up in the air, she'd get stuck. (they respond) She's
so fat that if she wore a red dress, all the kids would be like, “Hey Kool-Aid!” She
is so fat... (or inserted fat jokes du jour)
CRAWFORD
Starling.
CLARICE
Shorry. (speaking back into her recorder) Star-shaped wound over the sternum.
She’s got glitter nail polish..either “Bashful Rose” or...uh... “Champagne Nights.”
(or inserted nail polish colors du jour)
Music back.
A drum beat begins as Clarice scats the next section and our team
pulses to the rhythm (think Sing Sing Sing from Fosse's Dancin').
In between stanzas, the team explodes into tight dance breaks.
One of our FBI guys is taking notes. He quickly sketches the shape
of the diamond cuts on his pad, turns to reveal it to Clarice.
CLARICE (CONT'D)
THIS GIRL SHE WASN'T LOCAL,
EARS WERE PIERCED THREE TIMES,
SHE'S PURPLE AND SHE'S BLOATED
BODY'S CAKED IN GRIME.
DIAMOND-SHAPED INCISIONS IN THE MIDDLE OF HER BACK,
LOTS OF MISSING TISSUE,
AND HER FINGERNAILS ARE CRACKED.
WHEN THEY FOUND HER
SHE WAS LAYING AFLOAT.
SHE'S MY SPECIMEN
I'M TAKING NOTES.
THOUGH IT MIGHT BE INAPPROPRIATE TO GLOAT
DON'T LOOK NOW
(Shouted with excitement)
But I just found a bug in the back of her throat!
Chaos ensues with a moth (prop on a stick) flying around. The

sheriff smacks it on Clarice's mouth, she turns slowly to replicate
the iconic image from the film's poster: Her face with the moth in
place of her mouth. Clarice removes the moth.
CRAWFORD
What kind of maniac shoves a moth down someone's throat?
27
CLARICE
I don't know, but I know who does!
We transition out of the morgue, with the lambs restoring into a

big finish for the number.
CLARICE (CONT'D)
LORD ONLY KNOWS WHAT HE'S THINKING
BEHIND THAT MANIACAL STARE.
LAMBS
THIS IS IT, AN ACTUAL ASSIGNMENT, WOW!
CLARICE
HE'S AN EXPERT ON PERFUME, ACCESSORIES, CLOTHES
BETTER WATCH WHAT I WEAR!
LAMBS
SHE'S ON HER WAY. NOTHING'S GONNA STOP HER NOW!
CLARICE
HE'S COOPERATING, GREAT,
INFORMATION ON A PLATE,
HOPE MORE CLUES ARE ON THE SLATE
BECAUSE I'M STARVING.
NOW THERE'S NO TURNING BACK
HE AND I, WE'RE ON PAR
LET HIM PUT ME ON THE TRACK
NO MORE NONSENSE, JUST THE FACTS
I'M A SHTAR!
CLARICE AND LAMBS

IT'S AGENT SHTARLING!
As the lambs disperse, they congratulate each other on the number.
CLARICE
Great number, guys! Etc.
Clarice adlibs as she restores from the number. Lecter hands her a towel and she
pats herself off.
SCENE 8-LECTER'S CELL
Clarice turns to discover Lecter facing her.
28
CLARICE
(startled)
Dr. Lecter, I...
DR. LECTER
For you, Clarice.
He hands her a drawing.

CLARICE
(confused)
Oh..looky there. It's um...it's a little boy ...by an...igloo.
DR. LECTER
It's you by the Santa Maria Del Fiore duomo.
CLARICE
(unconvincing)
Oh...yeah. I see it now. Anyhoo...Dr. Lecter...
DR. LECTER
How did you feel when you found that head?
CLARICE
Um, a little shcared at first, then exhilarated...then I got tickled 'cause well it's a
head in a jar...but doctor time is of the essence. We need your help.
DR. LECTER
I have been in here for eight years Clarice. Eight years! Magnum P. I. ran for eight
years. Am I getting through to you? MAGNUM P. I.!
CLARICE
You once said we're dealing with a “fledging killer.” Has he killed someone else?
DR. LECTER
I'll give you a psychological profile on Buffalo Bill based on the case evidence,
but I'll want something in return.
CLARICE
You know who he is! WHO DECAPITATED THAT MAN?
DR. LECTER
Patience, Clarice.
CLARICE
TELL ME HIS NAME DOCTOR!
29
MUSIC 6A- THAT NEXT SPECIAL LADY
DR. LECTER
Just think. I'll bet Buffalo Bill is setting his sights on that next special lady as we
speak.
SCENE 9-PARKING LOT OF CATHERINE MARTIN'S APT.COMPLEX/SIZE 14
Underscore out.
Transition to Catherine Martin, walking with her groceries,

singing “Armenian Girl” She hears footsteps...freezes.
CATHERINE
Hello? Is somebody there? Hello? (we hear her cat from offstage) Ohhh! I hear
you widdle puddy tat. Oh shoot! I forgot to put my club on the car! (again
footsteps) Hello? (She resumes singing as she exits.)
Buffalo Bill enters.

He wears a view-master rigged to be his night-vision
goggles, and a fake sling on his arm.
MUSIC 7- ARE YOU ABOUT A SIZE 14?
BUFFALO BILL
SUPERFICIAL PEOPLE, I DON'T THINK LOOKS MATTER.
SOME FOLKS WEIGH A HUNDRED POUNDS
BUT I WANT SOMEONE FATTER.
I WANT A GIRL WHO'LL FIT ME TO A “T”
A WOMAN WHO'LL LOOK GOOD ON ME.
SAY, ARE YOU ABOUT A SIZE FOURTEEN?

ARE YOU ABOUT A SIZE FOURTEEN?
IN ORDER TO GET VICTIMS,
YOU'VE GOTTA LIE AND TRICK 'EM,
SO I PUT MY ARM INSIDE A SLING.
I GOT HER IN MY SIGHTS.
SHE'S APPROPRIATELY FAT
I'LL WAIT FOR HER TO NOTICE ME
I HOPE SHE FED HER CAT!
I WONDER, COULD SHE REALLY BE AS PERFECT AS SHE SEEMS?

IS SHE ABOUT A SIZE 14?
SHE'LL SEE ME WITH THIS COUCH,
30
I'LL GET HER IN THE VAN,

SHE'LL THINK THAT I'M A CRIPPLE,
BUT I'LL SHOW HER I'M THE MAN.
THAT CREAMY, LUSCIOUS SKIN,
I REALLY AM IMPRESSED.
I PRAYED FOR SOMEONE CORPULENT,
IT LOOKS LIKE I'VE BEEN BLESSED!
LAMBS AND BUFFALO BILL

BILL
IF YOU WANT TO FIND THE ONE
YOU NEED A GIRL WHO WEIGHS A TON

AND SHE'S ALSO GOTTA BE NAIVE.
BUFFALO BILL
I'LL KEEP HER IN A WELL,
THEY'LL NEVER EVER FIND HER.
I'LL TUCK MY DICK BETWEEN MY LEGS
YOU'LL THINK IT'S A VAGINA.
I'LL LOOK JUST LIKE A GIRL BY GOLLY
I'LL HAVE FUN!
BUT FOR NOW BE QUIET -- SHHH!
DON'T MAKE A SOUND HERE
'CAUSE SHE COMES.
CATHERINE
CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT?
BUFFALO BILL
Would you?
CATHERINE
YOU LOOK A LITTLE HANDICAPPED
BUFFALO BILL
Could you?
PLEASE GET INSIDE THE TRUCK. WE'LL PUSH IT ALL THE WAY.
YOU'RE DOING REALLY WELL, AND NOW ITS TIME FOR ME TO SAY,

31
ARE YOU ABOUT A SIZE FOURTEEN? WE

MY HOBBIES INCLUDE SEWING
IF YOU LIKE ME LET'S GET GOING
AND I'LL PUT YOU IN A HOLE WHERE YOU CAN SCREAM!
(Stop Time dace break)

Bill “beats” Catherine in rhythm to stop time section.
LAMBS AND BUFFALO BILL (con’t)

WE/I BETCHA SHE'S A SIZE FOURTEEN!
WE’RE/I'M LOOKIN' FOR A SIZE FOURTEEN!
BUFFALO BILL
SHE BROUGHT THIS ON HERSELF
BECAUSE SHE OFFERED ME HER HELP
AND SHE'S AN IDIOT FOR TRUSTING ME
ARE YOU ABOUT A SIZE

FOURTEEEEEEEEEEEEN?
LAMBS
HIS PLAN WAS WORTH THE WAIT
HE'S GOT HER IN HIS TRUCK
SHE TOOK THE BAIT
AND NOW SHE'S OUT OF LUCK!
MUSIC 7A- SIZE 14 PLAYOFF
SCENE 10- NEWSDESK/PRESS CONFERENCE
MUSIC 7B- STONE ROCKBROCKMANROCK
Lights shift to a TV anchor giving a news broadcast. The lambs

create the shift bringing on the desk.
TV ANCHOR
Good evening. I'm Stone Rockbrockmanrock, and we interrupt your regularly
scheduled program to bring you this breaking story. (Underscore fades out)
Catherine Martin, the daughter of Junior Senator Ruth Martin, Republican from
Tennessee, is believed to have been kidnapped by the notorious “Buffalo Bill.”
Police sources indicate that the missing girl's blouse has been identified, sliced up
the back, in what has become a kind of grim calling card for this sadistic killer.
Chances are slim to none that they'll find Martin alive, if they find her filleted
corpse at all, so no happy ending in sight for this case. Let's go now, live, to the
senate steps where we expect Senator Martin to make a dramatic plea to Buffalo
Bill.
32
Lights up on Senator Martin (Catherine in a wig)
MUSIC 8- MY DAUGHTER IS CATHERINE
SENATOR MARTIN
I am speaking now to the person who's holding my daughter.
THIS ISN'T YOUR FAULT AND YOU AREN'T TO BLAME

IT'S ROUGH WHEN YOU'RE MISUNDERSTOOD.
MY DAUGHTER IS CATHERINE
CATHERINE'S HER NAME.
I KNOW THAT WITHIN YOU THERE'S GOOD.
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO PROVE TO THE WORLD

THAT YOU CAN BE NORMAL
DON'T HURT MY GIRL.
REFRAIN FROM YOUR BLOODTHIRSTY URGES TO MAIM
YOU'RE STRONG
YOU'RE THE BOSS
AND YOU'RE HOLDING THE CARDS
I KNOW THAT YOU'RE HURTING
WE ALL HAVE OUR SCARS
I CAN MAKE YOU A HERO
COME CLAIM YOUR REWARD
CATHERINE, CATHERINE
CATHERINE, CATH-RINE
Lights shift to Clarice and Ardelia, along with the other FBI
candidates, “watching “ the live report on TV. While they watch
on stage right, Buffalo Bill watches in a pool of light from stage
left.
CLARICE
That's really shmart.
ARDELIA
What?
CLARICE
33
Repeating her name over and over like that. It makes Catherine a real person, not
just some object, so it makes it harder for him to harm her. Sho shmart.
ARDELIA
(admiring Clarice)
So smart. So very, very smart.
Lights shift to Senator.
SENATOR MARTIN
CATHERINE USED TO RIDE HORSES
CATEHRINE USED TO SING SONGS
SURELY YOU KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS WRONG.
TALK TO MY CATHERINE
CATHERINE'S GENTLE YOU'LL SEE.
YOUR PROBLEMS ARE MENTAL
PLEASE SET CATHERINE FREE.
I'M SURE I CAN GIVE YOU

WHATEVER YOU SEEK.
YOU CAN BE MERCIFUL
PITY THE WEAK.
PROVE YOU'RE ABOVE ALL THE REST OF THE FREAKS!
YOU'RE A MISGUIDED LION WHO NEEDS TO BE TAMED.

OUR TRUST AND RESPECT
THEY'RE BOTH YOURS TO BE GAINED.
CATHERINE, CATH-RINE
BEAUTIFUL CATHERINE
HUMAN BEING CATHERINE
CATHERINE
CATH-RINE'S HER NAME.
Lights shift back to the TV anchorman sobbing.
TV ANCHOR
You've just heard Senator's Martin's moving plea to serial killer Buffalo Bill.
More on this horrifying story at eleven, (suddenly chipper) And, a squirrel fashion
show?
MUSIC 8A- STONE ROCKBROCKMANROCK
34
Only News 6 has the zany footage! I'm Stone Rockbrockmanrock. See you at
eleven.
Music out.
Lights shift.
SCENE 11-OUTSIDE OF LECTER'S CELL
Chilton appears on stage, leading Clarice, and continues:
CHILTON
Enough is enough Agent Starling!
CLARICE
This is just a routine follow up.
CHILTON
You have been here three times interviewing my patient. And not once have you
shared any information with me, his doctor.
CLARICE
Look, here’s the U.S. Attorney’s number. You can take it up with him. I have work
to do.
(Clarice exits)
CHILTON
And so do I. So…do…I!
.
MUSIC 8B- THE TURNKEY'S REVENGE
Music out.
Lights shift to Clarice and Lecter.
Chilton, holding a stethoscope, eavesdrops unnoticed throughout

the first part of the exchange.
CLARICE
If your profile helps us catch Buffalo Bill and saves Catherine Martin in time,
Senator Martin will have you transferred to the V.A. Hospital in Oneida Park,
New York. You'll have a view, access to books, and the best part is once a year
you get to leave and go here (she pulls out a map) Staten Island! You've got the
greenbelt, the world's largest landfill. You know it can be seen from orbit...
35
DR. LECTER
(reading the map)
“Staten Island”? Charming.
CLARICE
Well, the landfill's just part of the island. The other side has a nice beach...there's a
tern's nest there...you could shell sheashells by the sheashore.
DR. LECTER
Terns? If I help you Clarice, it'll be turns for us too. You've been getting what you
want but now it's my turn. Quid pro quo, Clarice. I tell you things, you tell me
things. Not about this case, but about yourself. Tell me, was Miss West Virginia
big through the hips, roomy?
CLARICE
All the victims have been big. And it's a shame, because they all have such pretty
faces.
DR. LECTER
What else?
CLARICE
We found an insect lodged in her throat.
DR. LECTER
A butterfly?
CLARICE
A moth.
Flashback to Pilcher and Roden.
Two of the lambs enter quickly on stage right in full

“scientist/researcher” attire. They are Pilcher and Roden,
entomologists from the Smithsonian Institute.
PILCHER
(coke bottle glasses, high voice)
Say Hello to Archerontia Styx, the death's head moth. Somebody is serious about
their transformation metaphors!
RODEN
(cross-eyed, deep retard voice)
Do you ever go out for cheeseburgers and beer?
36
CLARICE
Are you hitting on me doctor?
Pilcher and Roden giggle like little girls and exit. We are back in
the Asylum.
DR. LECTER
Crawford certainly is rewarding you isn't he?
CLARICE
He assigned me to a specific case. I work on that case.
DR. LECTER
Do you think he fantasizes about you? Sexually? Fucking you.
CLARICE
Frankly, that kind of talk doesn't interest me.
DR. LECTER
Do you think he dreams of tearing off your pants, getting down on his knees and
ramming his entire forearm inside your tight anus?
CLARICE
Beg pardon?
DR. LECTER
Maybe he wants to give you a dirty sanchez? A rusty trombone? Philadelphia
cheese-steak? A Miss Jane Pittman?
CLARICE
I think you made those last two things up Doctor.
MUSIC 9- QUID PRO QUO
DR. LECTER
Clarice...you're so close to how you'll catch him.
CLARICE
Then how?
He sings.
The lambs will enter as backup, taunting Clarice.
37
DR. LECTER
QUID PRO QUO, I NEED AN ANSWER IS IT YES OR NO.
QUID PRO QUO, YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME WHAT I WANT OR GO,
AND DON'T YOU LIE TO ME OR ELSE I'LL KNOW,
QUID PRO QUO!
CLARICE
DADDY DIED,
HE WAS A COP AND I WAS OH SO YOUNG...
DR. LECTER
POOR GIRL,
WAS HE SHOT? OH BOY THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!
CLARICE
DON'T GET CUTE,
OR ELSE THAT'S IT WE'RE DONE.
DR. LECTER
I CAN MAKE YOU EAT YOUR TONGUE!
QUID PRO QUO!
CLARICE
SO I MOVED AWAY TO LIVE ON MY COUSIN'S RANCH.
DR. LECTER
DID THE RANCHER EVER REMOVE YOUR UNDERPANTS?
CLARICE
HEARD A SCREAM ONE NIGHT AND I RAN DOWNSTAIRS.
DR. LECTER
DID YOUR COUSIN EVER CARESS YOUR PUBIC HAIR?
CLARICE
NO!
QUID PRO QUO, I KEPT MY END UP AND IT'S YOUR TURN NOW.
TIME IS SHORT, I GOTTA CATCH HIM
WON'T YOU TELL ME HOW?
TIT FOR TAT, TELL ME WHY ARE ALL THE VICTIMS FAT?
WHAT COULD BE HIS REASONING?
YOU CONTROL POOR CATHERINE'S FATE...
DR. LECTER
ALL GOOD THINGS TO THOSE WHO WAIT...
38
CLARICE
BETTER TELL ME WHO HE IS...
DR. LECTER
YOU'VE BEEN GOOD, I'LL GRANT YOUR WISH!
CLARICE
WHAT WOULD MAKE HIM WANT TO REMOVE THEIR SKIN?
LAMBS
QUID PRO QUO
DR. LECTER
COME CLARICE ENTHRALL ME WITH ALL YOUR ACUMEN.
LAMBS
YES OR NO
CLARICE
BUGS INSIDE THEIR THROATS, DOCTOR TELL ME WHY!
LAMBS
MAKE IT SO
DR. LECTER
TRANSFORMATION, JUST LIKE A PRETTY BUTTERFLY.
LAMBS
QUID PRO QUO
LECTER
BILLY WANTS TO CHANGE AS WELL,
EVERYTHING'S WITHIN YOUR REACH,
STATEN ISLAND ISLAND SURE SOUNDS SWELL!
TIME TO FROLIC ON A BEACH!
LAMBS
(Lambs “Ah’s” until end of number)
AHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHH
CLARICE
QUID PRO QUO, DO I LET THIS CREEP INSIDE MY HEAD?
39
DR. LECTER
WE'LL WORK TOGETHER AND SWAP INFORMATION.
CLARICE
IF I DON'T, CATHERINE MARTIN IS AS GOOD AS DEAD,
DR. LECTER
DON'T YOU HAVE ANY TALES THAT INVOLVE MOLESTATION?
CLARICE
I'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF ALL THE FEDS.
DR. LECTER
QUID PRO QUO,
YOU'LL PAINT A PICTURE OF YOUR TROUBLED YOUTH.
TOOTH FOR TOOTH, LET'S HAVE YOUR NIGHTMARES NOW,
MY LITTLE SLEUTH.
SHARE WITH ME THE NAKED TRUTH!
HURRY UP YOU'RE WAY TOO SLOW.
CLARICE
WHO IS HE, I GOTTA KNOW?
DR. LECTER
SODOMY, FELATIO
HOW I LOVE MY QUID PRO QUO!
CLARICE
DON'T HAVE TIME FOR QUID PRO QUO!
SCENE 12-BUFFALO BILL'S HOUSE
Catherine Martin is in the well, on a phone. The well is indicated

by a black panel with a shaft of light shining down on Catherine.
Her microphone is enhanced with echo FX.
CATHERINE
(in a hushed voice)
Hello? Help me! Can you help me!? Hello? Fuck! Fucking battery! Ooooo! I'd
like two orders of Kung Pao Chicken, and a diet Dr. Pepper. My address? How
should I know? I'm trapped in a fucking well! Hello? Hello? Fuck!
Lights shift to Buffalo Bill “dolling up.” He wears a kimono and

the “skin-wig” he has fashioned from one of his victim's scalps. He
40
sits, applying lipstick and sings. The scene shifts from side to side
from Bill to Catherine in the well.
MUSIC 10- I'D FUCK ME
BUFFALO BILL
(spoken, as if to a mirror)
Would You fuck me? I'd fuck me.
I'd fuck me hard. I'd fuck me so hard.
CATHERINE
(screaming)
Mister! Mister please let me out of here!
BUFFALO BILL
(singing)
SCREAMING FROM AFAR GETTING ON MY NERVES.
HEY YOU IN THE MIRROR
WITH THE LOVELY SET OF CURVES.
SUCH A PRETTY FACE,
FULL INVITING LIPS,
MULTIPLE TATTOOS,
CHILD BEARING HIPS.
THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF FISH IN THE SEA
BUT NONE OF THOSE BITCHES ARE ME.
TAKE A CHANCE,
NEVER KNOW IN THE END
IF YOU'RE GONNA GET LUCKY.
WOULD YOU FUCK ME?

I'D FUCK ME HARD
I'D FUCK MYSELF SO FUCKING HARD.
THIS BUTTERFLY SHED ITS COCOON,
IT'S SPREADING ITS WINGS,
STRAIGHT FOR THE STARS!
ONCE I CUT OFF THE MEAT
I'LL BE READY, COMPLETE
AND I'D FUCK ME, SO HARD.
Precious barks.
Mommy loves you too, Precious.
LIPSTICK AND MASCARA

NIPPLE WITH A RING
41
CLOSE TO BEING DONE

LET ME HIDE MY THING
I'D BUY ME A DRINK
GET LOST IN MY EYES.
I'D FLIRT AND I'D WINK
I'D SEDUCE ME WITH LIES.
THE GUYS IN THE PAST THEY'D AVOID ME,
THEY'D DODGE ME
AND DUCK ME.
BUT NOW THEY'D FUCK ME!

I'D FUCK ME TOO
I'D FUCK ME
FUCKING BLACK AND BLUE.
THIS BASEMENT'S A CASTLE AND BILLY'S THE KING,
OR IS IT QUEEN? EITHER WAY I'M IN CHARGE.
ONCE I FINISH THE DRESS
I'LL BE PERFECT, THE BEST
WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT LESS?
ASK ME OUT, THE ANSWER'S "YES!"
YES, I'D FUCK ME SO HARD.
CATHERINE
HEY ASSHOLE, THANK YOU FOR THE SCRAPS
INSTEAD I THINK I'LL SET A TRAP
I'M PROBABLY DOOMED BUT I JUST GOT A BRILLIANT IDEA
PRECIOUS, C'MERE!
(WHISTLES MELODY)
In the following sequence, Catherine attempts to lure Precious,

Bill's pooch, into the well. She flings a bucket tied to a pail, in
vain, up to Precious, a stuffed animal dog.
BUFFALO BILL
I'D FUCK ME
I'D FUCK ME WELL
I'D FUCK ME 'TIL I BURN IN HELL
I'D HAVE ME, I'D DO ME, I'D RAPE ME, I'D SCREW ME IN BED,
IN THE BACK OF A CAR.
The lambs emerge from stage left, fanning Bill and singing backup.
LAMBS
42
(simultaneously with Buffalo Bill)

WE'D FUCK HIM,
WE'D FUCK HIM NUMB
WE'D FUCK THAT SWEET-HEART JAMIE GUMB
WE'D FUCK HIM,
WE'D FUCK HIM HARD.
AND FUCK HIM SO HAAAAARD.
BUFFALO BILL (CONT’D)

I WOULD STALK ME
I'D CHASE ME,
I'D LICK ME, I'D TASTE ME
I WON'T HAVE TO LOOK VERY FAR.
I'D BE GRATEFUL, COMPLACENT, COME BACK TO MY BASEMENT
AND FUCK ME SO HAAAAARD.
SCENE 13-CHILTON'S OFFICE
The lights shift, and we transfer back to Baltimore. The lambs

bring on a desk to indicate Dr. Chilton's office. Ardelia as Barney
enters.
BARNEY
Hi, I'm Barney.
Throughout the following speech, Chilton has placed his pen in

view of a bound Lecter. He shifts it closer and closer to Lecter in a
ridiculously indicative manner. By the end of the speech, each
word is punctuated with a gesture indicating his pen to Lecter.
CHILTON
Well, well, well. The great and brilliant Dr. Hannibal Lecter. You know, it's funny.
I just got off the phone with Senator Ruth Martin and guess what? You can
unpack your sunscreen because she knew nothing of any deal. Crawford and that
student used you! You've been scammed Lecter. Had. Bamboozled. I guess you're
not so smart after all. But, luckily I worked my magic and struck a real deal.
You're gonna help me save Catherine. So, pack your bags, we're going to
Tennessee to meet the Senator!
The music swells as the scene shifts with a tiny plane representing
the journey to Memphis.
43
SCENE 14-HANGAR, MEMPHIS AIRPORT
MUSIC 10A- GOING TO MEMPHIS
The panels part to reveal Lecter in his most iconic look, in his
facemask. A nervous bespectacled guard wheels him in on a dolly.
After much fanfare...
Music out.
PEMBRY
Welcome to Memphis Dr. Lecter. I'm Sgt. Pembry. First time to Memphis? You’ll
love it. We've got Graceland, the ducks at the Peabody Hotel, and some of the best
BBQ...
CHILTON
(cutting him off)
Officer!
PEMBRY
Here's the transfer. Just sign here and it's a done deal.
DR. CHILTON
(searching for his pen)
Hmmm? That's funny. I seem to have lost my pen.
Lecter belches.
PEMBRY
Here sir, use mine.
Chilton signs document.
DR. CHILTON
Hannibal, may I present Senator Ruth Martin. (she enters) Senator Martin, Dr.
Hannibal Lecter.
MUSIC 10B- MY DAUGHTER IS CATHERINE REPRISE
SENATOR MARTIN
Dr. Lecter, I have here an affidavit outlining your new rights. If you’d like to take
a look...
I’M A VERY IMPORTANT UNITED STATES SENATOR.

PLEASE HELP US RESCUE MY GIRL FROM THAT PREDATOR.
44
CATHERINE, CATHERINE, CATHERINE, CATHERINE

CATHERINE, CATHERINE, CATHERINE’S HER—
DR. LECTER
(cutting her off)
All right! All right! Buffalo Bill’s real name is Louis Friend. I knew him through a
former patient Benjamin Raspail. They were boyfriends. And when I say
“boyfriends,” I don’t mean the kind that go out for a beer on Saturday or watch
the game on Sunday. I mean the kind that slide their penises into each other’s
assholes. Assholes, Senator. Penises...in...assholes.
SENATOR MARTIN
You animal! (The Senator starts to exit. Lecter’s words stop her.)
DR. LECTER
He’s 5’ 11”, 175 pounds, brown hair and eyes. He said he’s from Philly, city of
brotherly love, but perhaps he lied. That’s all I can remember at the moment, but
I’ll holler if anything else pops into my head. Oh and Senator, one more
thing...love your suit! Sale at Daffy’s?
SENATOR MARTIN
Take this thing back to Baltimore!
DR. CHILTON
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, the name is Chilton. Dr. Frederick Chilton.
C-H-I-L-T-O-N. Buffalo Bill’s real name...is in the hands of the proper
authorities. But, you can read about how I single handed-ly solved this case in my
new book (he holds up a copy of his book) "The Right Guide: Baltimore Can Be
Quite a Fun Town."
MUSIC 10C- LECTER AND THE SENATOR
Music out.
SCENE 15-LECTER’S TEMPORARY HOLDING CELL
The scene shifts to just outside Hannibal Lecter’s holding cell. Pembry is
standing guard as Clarice tries to sneak in.
PEMBRY
(noticing her)
Just a minute there.
CLARICE
Oh hi, yes. I’m uh...I’m here to see Dr. Lecter.
45
PEMBRY
(checking his list)
Well ma’am, access to Dr. Lecter is very restricted. Now what is your name?
CLARICE
She mumbles an inaudible name.
PEMBRY
He responds
CLARICE
She mumbles again.
PEMBRY
Pembry responds improvisational-based on her mumbled made up name and
allows her through.
Lights shift to Lecter in his temporary holding cell.
DR. LECTER
Good evening Clarice. You amble by to peddle more lies, before you and
Crawford are booted off the case?
CLARICE
No. I came on my own. I brought your drawings, doctor.
She hands him crude sketches. He examines them.
DR. LECTER
These aren’t mine.
CLARICE
Alright! I know...I know...but they threw out the ones from your cell in Baltimore.
I thought I’d try to cheer you up. It’s a turkey. I just traced my hand. Look, I know
I have been untruthful to you...
DR. LECTER
Shame about poor Catherine...
CLARICE
...but please...
MUSIC 11- QUID PRO QUO II
DR. LECTER
Tick tock, tick, tock.
46
CLARICE
...we need your help.
Music continues.
DR. LECTER
First principles, Clarice. What does he do this man you seek?
CLARICE
He kills women.
DR. LECTER
No! He covets. And how does one start to covet, Clarice? Do you search for things to
covet? No, we covet what we see everyday.
CLARICE
Doctor, tell me how...
DR. LECTER
No! It is your turn to tell me, Clarice! After your father's murder, you were ten years old.
You went to live with cousins on a sheep and horse ranch in Montana.
CLARICE
Fine! I’ll tell you my story! But, I’ll tell my story...my way!
Underscore out.
Gong SFX.
Kabuki begins.
CLARICE (con’t)
Once upon a time there was a young girl named Clarice.
“Young Clarice”, a lamb dressed in a pony-tailed wig enters.
CLARICE (con’t)
It was still early. I was sleeping.
DR. LECTER
Something woke you, was it a dream?
CLARICE
I heard a stirring sound. (vibraslap) What the heck is that?
47
DR. LECTER
What was it?
CLARICE
It was screaming...some kind of screaming. Like a child's voice. I got dressed without
turning on the lights. (Fabric tossed aside to reveal a small puppet body) I went outside.
I crept up into the barn. (4 block knocks) I was so scared to look inside, but I had to.
DR. LECTER
What did you see, Clarice?
CLARICE
Lambs. Cuddly little snuggly all stuffed with fluff. Lambs. And they were screaming.
LAMBS
Baaaa! Baaaa!
DR. LECTER
They were slaughtering the spring lambs?
CLARICE
Yesh. I tried to save them, but they wouldn't run. Run you stupid lambs! Run! So, I took
one lamb and I ran away as fast as I could. I got to a stream. It was very cold, very cold.
And it started to rain... (Lambs squirt water gun) and then snow (Lambs throw
confetti)...and there were bubbles (Lams shoots Bubble gun). Big scary bubbles. I didn’t
get more than a few miles before the rancher found me. He was so angry he told me, I’m
taking you to an orphanage.” And I never saw my lambs again. The end.
Gong.
DR. LECTER
Bravo, Clarice. Now...
QUID PRO QUO
I’D LIKE TO THANK YOU, THAT WAS QUITE SUBLIME.
POOR CLARICE, YOUR TRAGIC STORY TOLD THROUGH PANTOMINE
BUT IF YOU WANT MY HELP YOU’LL SING THIS TIME,
QUID PRO QUO.
CLARICE
YES, I STOLE A HEAVY LAMB
AND I RAN AWAY!
DR. LECTER
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU WOULD MAKE IT THIS FAR
JAMIE GUMB IS ONE OF HIS MANY NAMES!
48
CLARICE
THEY CAUGHT ME, TOOK MY LAMB
AND THEY KILLED HER TOO!
DR. LECTER
IT’S ALL THANKS TO ME THAT YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE
HEIGHT 5’10” AND EYES THAT ARE PALE AND BLUE.
YOU STILL HEAR THOSE POOR LAMBS SCREAM
EVERY NIGHT THEY HAUNT YOUR DREAMS
BIG FAT CATHERINE IS YOUR SHEEP
SAVE HER GET A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP!
CLARICE
GIMME SOMETHING FOR THE ROAD...
DR. LECTER
BILLY COVETS WHAT HE KNOWS,
TAKE THIS FILE BEFORE YOU GO...

DON’T HAVE TIME FOR QUID... PRO... QUO!
CLARICE
DON’T HAVE TIME FOR QUID... PRO... QUO!
DR. LECTER
Thank you.
The guards along with Chilton, have entered discovering Clarice. She breaks free and
runs to grab the file. The guards race after her. As we button the number, Lecter’s hand is
placed gently on Clarice’s. They share a moment.
The guards escort a struggling Clarice off stage.
Lecter has a moment alone onstage. We hear Bach on the piano and Lecter serenely
conducts.
SCENE 16-LECTER’S CELL
Pembry enters carrying a dinner tray, with officer Boyle.
PEMBRY
Dinner is served! You know the drill.
Boyle cuffs Lecter to the “cage” while Pembry readies his dinner.
49
BOYLE
Hey Doc? You hear the one about the cannibal who ate the clown? He said it tasted
funny. Get it? Tasted funny.
PEMBRY
Boyle.
BOYLE
What he don’t like jokes?
PEMBRY
I think you’re just pissing him off.
BOYLE
So what if I am? What’s he gonna do about it? Is he gonna break free, overpower us both
and eat us? Huh? You gonna eat me for dinner, Doc?
Underscore out.
I didn’t think so.
Boyle freezes.
MUSIC 12- IT’S ME!
DR. LECTER
REMEMBER THE PEN THAT I SAW ON THE TABLE?
I ATE IT WHEN NO ONE WAS WATCHING.
NOW I OPEN MY MOUTH AND THE PEN'S HERE AGAIN
THEIR SECURITY'S RIPE FOR THE BOTCHING.
He quickly pulls a slim piece of metal from his mouth.

I'LL USE IT TO PICK THE LOCK,
AND MUTILATE BOTH OF THESE COPS.
Lecter undoes his handcuffs, lurches forward at Pembry.

Still singing.

THOUGH IT'S NOT HALLOWEEN I'VE CONCOCTED A PLAN,
I'LL ESCAPE FROM THIS PRISON BY WEARING A MAN!
50
Lecter bites at Pembry's face while Boyle fumbles for the keys.
Lecter turns his attention to Boyle, violently beats him with
Pembry's night-stick.
Lights change.
SGT. TATE
Shots fired! I repeat, shots fired!
Transition back to Lecter’s temporary cell. Sgt. Tate and a group

of officers burst in. They freeze at what they see. “Boyle” is
“gutted and strung up” on Lecter's cage as though he's a giant
mounted moth (for our purposes a Lamb stands in crucifixion pose
holding a banner which reads “Lordy Lordy, Judy’s Forty.) Lecter
as Pembry (goggles with a cut out 8 x 10 of the Pembry actor) lies
on the ground in front of the cage, his face a bloody pulp.
THE POLICE
LOOK WHAT HE DID TO THIS OFFICER'S FACE!
HE CHEWED OFF HIS CHEEKS AND HE SPRAYED HIM WITH MACE!
WE'RE ALL IN A TIZZY,
OH JESUS WHERE IS HE?
OH WHERE COULD HANNIBAL BE?
Lecter/Pembry sits up and sings.
DR. LECTER
THIS COP IS ALREADY DEAD -- IT'S ME!
Lecter/Pembry lies back down and starts seizing violently.
THE POLICE
GET THIS MAN TO A HOSPITAL
HE'S ARRESTING
HE'S SHAKING
HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT!
Lecter momentarily calms down and faces us again.
LECTER
SOMEBODY GET ME A TONY FOR BEST PHONY SEIZURE,
JUST WATCH HOW ADEPTLY I FAKE IT.
THE POLICE
GET OUT OF THE WAY!
HAVE THE MEDICS ARRIVED?
51
ONE'S ALREADY DEAD

AND ONE'S BARELY ALIVE.
HE’S OUT ON THE LOOSE,
WE’VE GOT NO EXCUSE,
OH WHERE COULD HANNIBAL BE?
LECTER
THIS COP IS ALREADY DEAD, YOU'LL SEE.
I'M WEARING HIS FACE ON MY HEAD --
IT'S ME.
We are descending in the elevator moments later. Lecter,

still disguised as Pembry, is strapped on a gurney. Murray
holds his hand.
MURRAY
WHAT DO I SAY TO A PERSON
WHO JUST LOST HIS FACE?
I BETCHA HE'LL MISS IT.
SGT. TATE
THAT COP HAS A NAME --
IT'S JIM PEMBRY!
NOW TALK TO HIM!
MURRAY
FINE!
(to the body)
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
Blood slowly drips from above. The elevator door opens, the
gurney is rushed out.
THE POLICE
LOOK AT THAT BLOOD.
WE THINK HE'S UP THERE:
THE ELEVATOR'S ROOF.
The gurney is loaded into an ambulance.
DR. LECTER
I'M LEAVING YOU NOW.
GOODBYE AND TAKE CARE.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS GOOF!
52
The action continues in the courthouse. Two SWAT officers open the
elevator doorway and cautiously look down the shaft. A figure, “Pembry”,
lays face down on the roof of the elevator.
THE POLICE
FIRE A SHOT IN HIS KNEE!
They fire. The body remains motionless.
NO RESPONSE;
WHO THE HELL CAN THIS BE?
Action continues in the ambulance. Lecter sits up in the gurney.
LECTER
I'VE LEFT THE BUILDING AT LAST,
I'M FREE!
The action takes place between the ambulance and the courthouse
ground floor.
THE POLICE
SAY IT ISN'T SO.
LECTER
THIS COP IS ALREADY DEAD, YOU SEE.
THE POLICE
DID WE JUST LET HIM GO?
LECTER
I'M WEARING HIS FACE ON MY HEAD...
THE POLICE
OH NO!
Lecter finally removes Pembry's face from his own head.
LECTER
IT'S MEEEEEEEEEEEE!
DRIVER
SHIT!
SCENE 17-QUANTICO DORMS/ARDELIA AND CLARICE’S ROOM
53
MUSIC 12A- ARDELIA’S JOG
Scene shifts Ardelia on phone. She drops it abruptly and begins to

“run” to her room.
Music out.
ARDELIA
They found the ambulance…in a parking garage at Memphis airport. The crew
was dead. Lecter’s killed a tourist, too. Got his clothes, cash. Clarice I’m worried
about you.
CLARICE
Lecter won't come after me.
ARDELIA
Oh really.
CLARICE
He's waiting for the sequel.
ARDELIA
Well, you did the best anybody could have for Catherine Martin.
CLARICE
The worst part is that Bill is right in front of me. Lecter said everything I need to
catch him is right here, in these pages.
She looks at the case file.
ARDELIA
Lecter said a lot of things.
CLARICE
He's here, Ardelia. I'm so close. So close.
ARDELIA
(interrupting)
Is this Lecter's handwriting?
CLARICE
(reading)
"Clarice, doesn't this random scattering of sites seem desperately random, like the
elaborations of a bad liar?" (beat) What does he mean?
54
ARDELIA
Not random at all, maybe. Like there's some pattern to where Bill dumped the
bodies?
CLARICE
There is no pattern. They were found in random order. Except for that one girl
from Belvedere Ohio. Frederica Bimmel. The one he weighted down.
ARDELIA
Why would he do that only once?
CLARICE
I don't know. Because...because he covets?
ARDELIA
I feel like we're getting close.
CLARICE
So close... something about coveting. Coveting what we know.
ARDELIA
What we see every day...
Throughout this scene Ardelia becomes bolder. As they speak, they

get closer and closer, drawn to one another... Clarice is ready for
the kiss, but she instead freezes, and Ardelia turns front and sings:
MUSIC 13-CATHERINE DIES TODAY
YOU THOUGHT I WAS HERE FOR NOTHIN’

BUT I GOT A ROLE TO PLAY.
IT’S TIME FOR ME TO GET TO DO SOME’MNN
IT’S MY BIG MOMENT, THE PART WHERE I SAY:
GOD DAMN CLARICE, HE KNEW HER!
The rhythm section kicks in, and Ardelia is joined by backup

singers -- newscasters with microphones -- excited to be breaking
the latest headlines. A “newsboy” crosses holding a newspaper
shouting.
NEWSBOY
Extra! Extra! Catherine Martin’s still missing and in danger! Extra! Extra!
ARDELIA AND REPORTERS
55
CATH’RINE DIES TODAY

LECTER GOT AWAY
HOW’D HE DO IT
THE COPS SURE BLEW IT
NOW MS. MARTIN’S GONNA PAY.
ARDELIA
THAT DOCTOR LECTER
HE’S SO CRYPTIC AND VAGUE
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING
HIDDEN RIGHT IN THESE PAGES?
CLARICE IS IN BELVEDERE
SHE’S HOT ON THE TRAIL
SHE’S GONNA PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN JAIL.
Mr. Bimmel, Frederica Bimmel’s rural father enters.
CLARICE
Mr. Bimmel, my name is Clarice Shtarling.
BIMMEL
You selling make up, ‘cause my wife’s dead and so is my daughter.
CLARICE
Yes shir, I know, I’m with the FBI.
BIMMEL
Ya’ll the folks that burned down Waco?
CLARICE
That was an accident. If I could just take one more look around Frederica’s room,
I promise I won’t be long.
ARDELIA
THAT’S RIGHT THESE KILLINGS WEREN’T RANDOM AT ALL
WE GETTIN’ CLOSER
BUT HER CHANCES ARE SMALL.
CLARICE
HE TOLD ME WE COVET WHAT WE SEE EVERY DAY.
ARDELIA
NOW OPEN THAT CLOSET PULL THE DRESS OUT AND SAY:
The lambs hold out a dress with diamond-shaped markings

for Clarice to see.
56
ARDELIA (CONT'D)
GODDAMN CLARICE:
CLARICE
HE KNEW HER!

NO MORE GAMES TO PLAY
THE SENATOR’S DAUGHTER’S
UP NEXT TO BE SLAUGHTERED
SHE’S A HUMAN HUNK OF CLAY.
An excited Clarice shouts on the phone at Crawford.
CLARICE
He’s making a suit! A woman’s suit, Mr. Crawford, out of real women! That’s
why he chooses big girls! He keeps them for three days so they lose weight, then
their skin loosens and he murders them!
BIMMEL
Uh, things are hard enough around here; maybe you could use a little discretion
with your phone call.
CLARICE
Shorry.
Bill appears stage left, diligently working at his

sewing machine.
BUFFALO BILL
THE POLICE IN THIS TOWN
DON’T SEEM TO HAVE THE FIRST CLUE
WITH EV’RY MURDER
MY CONFIDENCE GREW.
THE TIME IS NEARING NOW TO SLICE OFF HER SKIN.
THEY’LL NEVER STOP ME,
LOOKS LIKE I WIN!
ARDELIA
YOU THOUGHT I WAS MERELY FILLER
BUT I GOT A ROLE TO PLAY.
HE’S NOT GONNA GET TO KILL HER
AND IT’S ALL CAUSE I GET TO SAY:
GOD DAMN CLARICE
57
HE KNEW HER!
The lambs rip off Ardelia’s clothes, revealing a snazzy dress with a
short skirt.
REPORTERS
ARDELIA
YEAH CATH’RINE DIES TODAY!
REPORTERS
LECTER GOT AWAY
ARDELIA
WHOA-O-OOOOOAH!

HOW’D HE DO IT
THE COPS SURE BLEW IT
NOW MS. MARTIN’S GONNA PAY
ARDELIA
HE’S GONNA SKIN HER ASS!

BUFFALO BILL
I FIN’LLY FOUND A SIZE FOURTEEN

BUFFALO BILL
THERE’S NOTHIN LIKE A SIZE FOURTEEN

CLARICE
I’M GONNA SOLVE THE CASE
SHE’S A HUMAN HUNK OF CLAY!
58
CLARICE
SO I CAN EARN MY PLACE.
I PLEDGE TO YOU NOW
SHE WON’T END UP LIKE THE OTHERS
I’LL REUNITE HER
WITH HER FURIOUS MOTHER
THEY WEREN’T STRANGERS
IT’S CLEAR THAT HE KNEW HER
NOW I’VE GOTTA GET TO CATH’RINE QUICK
BEFORE HE CAN DO HER
REPORTERS
CATH’RINE DIES TODAY!
ARDELIA
MY PART WAS SMALL
BUT THAT’S A’IGT
I STILL FEEL YA
REPORTERS
ARDELIA
IT’S SUCH A PITY THERE’S NO SONG FOR ARDELIA
REPORTERS
ARDELIA
THE FARTHER WE GO
MY LINES GET FEWER AND FEWER
ALL
GOD DAMN CLARICE HE KNEW HER!
SCENE 18-OUTSIDE BIMMEL HOUSE/PAPA SHTARLING REPRISE
Scene shifts to the Bimmel House.
CRAWFORD
Starling...Starling...we’ve found our guy.
CLARICE
What? Where?
59
CRAWFORD
Just outside Chicago. I’m in a plane now and we’re on our way with the Hostage
Rescue Team. Everything Lecter said was accurate but the name. And get this, our
suspect’s been ordering Death’s Head moth’s for months and applied for sex
changes in five different cities.
CLARICE
I’ll be on the next plane out...
CRAWFORD
No, Starling, no need. We’ve got it covered. You’ve done great work. Go home
and cook yourself a nice, hot meal.
CLARICE
Well fuck. (She makes fuck speech.)
CRAWFORD
What was that?
CLARICE
I said, “Are you sure you have the right guy?”
CRAWFORD
Positive.
CLARICE
Are you really sure?
CRAWFORD
Look Starling, we couldn’t have gotten this far without you.
CLARICE
Thank you shir. So, uh, I’m just gonna follow up on a few leads out here with the
Bimmel girl. Apparently she had a sewing partner... (Crawford has hung up)
Hello? Hello?
Clarice is devastated. Lights up on PAPA SHTARLING.
MUSIC 13A -PAPA SHTARLING REPRISE
PAPA SHTARLING
HEY LITTLE LADY
GUESS WHO’S BACK
IT’S PAPA SHTARLING
DON’T YOU CRY.
DON’T BLAME YOURSELF, YOU HAVEN’T FAILED ME.
60
AT LEAST THAT GIRL

AIN’T GONNA DIE.
CLARICE
Papa?
PAPA SHTARLING
NOW GO AND FOLLOW UP THAT LEAD
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT FIND
PERHAPS YOUR DESTINY’S AWAITING
IT’S TIME TO LEAVE YOUR DAD BEHIND.
IT’S VERY LONELY BEING DEAD...
CLARICE
I won’t give up Papa. I won’t.
SCENE 19-BUFFALO BILL’S HOUSE
Scene shifts to Buffalo Bill’s house. Catherine starts screaming

again. Buffalo Bill “crosses” to her, frightened and shivering, at
the bottom of a well.
CATHERINE
Mister! I want to see my mommy! Let me outta heeerrreeeee!
MUSIC 14- PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET
BUFFALO BILL
IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN
IT DOES THIS WHEN IT'S TOLD.
IT RUBS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN
OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE.
AND WHEN IT'S DONE THERE'S ONE MORE THING
A SIMPLE LITTLE TASK,
IT'S: PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET.
PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET

ALL THESE STUPID WOMEN ARE THE SAME.
HELPS ME NOT TO THINK OF THEM AS HUMAN,
SO I CALL THEM "IT"
INSTEAD OF BY THEIR NAMES.
CATHERINE
61
MISTER PLEASE NO MORE ABUSE,

CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S NO EXCUSE,
MY FAMILY'S PROB'LY WONDERIN' WHERE I'VE BEEN.
BUFFALO BILL
I'LL STARVE YOU SO YOUR SKIN GETS LOOSE
STOP CRYING NOW YOU BIG FAT MOOSE
JUST PUT THE FUCKING LOTION ON YOUR SKIN
AND THEN, PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET.
YOUR CHANCES FOR SURVIVAL ARE REMOTE.
I'M IMPERVIOUS TO ALL YOUR SILLY WHINING,
SO PIPE DOWN BEFORE I JAM A MOTH
RIGHT DOWN YOUR FRICKIN’ THROAT.
CATHERINE
MISTER PLEASE, MY MOM'S GOT MONEY.
LET ME GO, THIS ISN'T FUNNY.
COPS ARE SURE TO SEND SOMEBODY.
TURN ME LOOSE, DON'T BE A DUMMY!
BUFFALO BILL
LISTEN TO YOU SCREAM AND WAIL.
KEEP IT DOWN YOU GIANT WHALE.
MIND THE BROKEN FINGERNAIL.
THE LAST GIRL CLIMBED HALFWAY BUT FAILED.
Catherine starts screaming. As she continues to cry out, Bill pulls

at his shirt and gleefully imitates her crooning to the melody of the
song.

AAAAAAHHHH!
Doorbell rings.

(interrupted, spoken)
Precious?
CATHERINE
(spoken)
She's down here, you piece of shit!
Bill leans over the edge of the well, freaks out. He starts lowering
the bucket, when his loud DOORBELL starts ringing.
62
BUFFALO BILL
PUT THE FUCKING POODLE IN THE BASKET
I'D KILL YOU BUT THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR.
DON'T MAKE ME GO AND GET MY GUN AND SHOOT YOU.
IT'S A WASTE OF SKIN,
THEY DON'T SELL FAT GIRLS IN A FUCKING STORE.
PUT MY FUCKING PRECIOUS IN THE BASKET.
CATHERINE
I CAUGHT YOUR PRECIOUS IN MY NET
SHE BROKE HER LEG
SHE NEEDS A VET
SO SAD, JUST LISTEN TO HER SQUEAL
JUST LET ME GO
IT’S NOT TOO LATE
WE’LL CUT A DEAL
I’LL KILL YOUR FUCKING POODLE IN THE BASKET!
BUFFALO BILL
DON'T YOU HURT MY ONE AND ONLY FRIEND.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS,
BUT I'LL TEACH YOU
IF YOU LAY A SINGLE FINGER ON MY POODLE'S PRETTY HEAD.
PUT THE FUCKING POODLE IN THE BASKET!
PUT THE FUCKING POODLE IN THE BASKET!
SCENE 20- OUTSIDE BUFFALO BILL’S HOUSE
An undercover FBI agent holding a bouquet of flowers, rings the doorbell.
FBI GUY
Flowers!
MUSIC 15- WE’RE GOIN’ IN!
THE F.B.I.
WE'RE GOIN' IN!
WE'RE GOIN' IN!
WE'LL RING THE BELL
AND ARREST THIS FELON,
WE'RE GOIN' IN! WE'RE GOIN' IN!
WE'RE GOIN' IN!
WITH DECOY FLOWERS
WE'LL CATCH THIS COWARD,
WE'RE GOIN' IN!
63
On stage right, Bill opens his front door for Clarice.
CLARICE
(holding up her badge)
I'M AGENT STARING, F.B.I.
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?
She hands him a picture of Frederica Bimmel, along with Mrs.

Lippman's card.
BUFFALO BILL
NO, UH-UH. WHY?
(to the audience)
COULD THIS GIRL BE ANY DUMBER?
TIME IS UP,
I'VE GOT HER NUMBER!
FBI
WE’RE GOIN’ IN
HIS HOME'S SURROUNDED,
HE'S GOING DOWN,
'CAUSE WE'RE GOIN' IN!
(MILITARY DANCE BREAK)
F.B.I. officers come crashing through every possible entrance and

swarm the premises.
AGENT
(spoken)
F.B.I!
The crashing and breaking sounds are soon replaced by silence.
THE F.B.I.
(as excited as before)
THERE'S NO ONE HERE!
BIG SPLASHY ENTRY,
THIS HOUSE IS EMPTY,
WE BETTER MOVE IT ALONG.
OUR INFORMATION WAS WRONG.
THERE'S NO...ONE... HERE!
SCENE 21-BUFFALO BILL’S HOUSE/BASEMENT
64
CLARICE
I understand Frederica did some sewing work for Mrs. Lippman.
BUFFALO BILL
Oh wait, was she a great big fat person?
CLARICE
She was a big girl.
BUFFALO BILL
How fat was she?
CLARICE
(restraining herself) She was a big girl.
BUFFALO BILL
Mrs. Lippman’s dead, but she had a son. I’ve got his number here somewhere.
Why don’t you come in, and I‘ll look for it.
CLARICE
Thank you. How long have you lived here sir?
BUFFALO BILL
Umm...let’s see...about...ummm...two years.
Bill swats at the air.

Sorry, got a bit of a bug problem. Maid's day off. (Ardelia/Lamb gives Bill a look
off his maid comment.) So, have you guys found anything? The cops around here
don’t seem to have the first clue. I mean, you got, like, a description, fingerprints,
anything like that?
As Bill speaks, one by one, the lambs walk by in the background, holding
incriminating objects. One carries a sewing machine, holding it suspiciously.
Another carries a moth on a wire, along with a giant spool. He makes the moth
land on the spool and Clarice finally makes the connection.

So you guys got nothin’ huh?
CLARICE
No. No.
65
Bill retrieves the number.
MUSIC 15A- CLARICE AND BILL
BUFFALO BILL
Here’s that number.
CLARICE
Thank you sir. Can I use your phone?
BUFFALO BILL
Sure you can use my phone.
Bill hesitates as Clarice pulls her gun.
CLARICE
Freeze! Turn around and put your hands on your...
Bill smiles, slowly backs up, drops his cards and disappears around the corner to the
INTRO music of Maniac
CLARICE (CONT’D)
Shit!
Clarice walks down stairs into the darkness, with panel moves and lambs harassing her.
CLARICE
SO CRAWFORD WAS WRONG,
HE'S ACTUALLY HERE.
IT'S ONLY A BASEMENT,
THERE'S NOTHING TO FEAR.
BILL
(pops in from somewhere far away from her)
SHE CAME TO MY DOOR
SUCH A RANDOM SURPRISE
BUT WHAT IS SHE GOOD FOR?
SHE'S NOT THE RIGHT SIZE.
CLARICE
(Breath, breath, breath)
I'M CREEPING AROUND IN THE DARK WITH A MANIAC
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL
I'VE GOT EV'RYTHING UNDER CONTROL
Bill
66
SHE'LL BE LUCKY TO LEAVE HERE ALIVE

WITH HER BRAINS INTACT
(Catherine's intro:)
CATHERINE
AND WHAT ABOUT ME, YOU DUMB BITCH
GET ME OUT OF THIS HOLE!
(As Catherine sings, Clarice steps into the "well" room where she can see again, looks
through cut-out, and sees Catherine)
(Music continues with creepy version of intro music, underneath well scene)
CLARICE
Oh my god! Catherine, F.B.I.! You're shafe!
CATHERINE
Get me outta here now!
CLARICE
Catherine shut up! The other officers are here right now.
Clarice starts impersonating other officers with unconvincing deep

voice.
"Good job, Agent Starling. I see you've solved the case single-handedly."
(as herself)
That's right. Stay here and keep an eye on Catherine while I go look for Buffalo
Bill.
CATHERINE
Someone help me! This bitch is fuckin' crazy!
CLARICE
I'll be right back, Catherine, I promise! So shut up!
CATHERINE
Waaaaaiiiitttt!
Lights go out again and stage goes GREEN with song intro music again.
67
CLARICE
(Breath breath)
I'M CREEPING AROUND IN THE DARK WITH A MANIAC
LAMBS (COUNTERLINE)
MANIAC!
CLARICE
I THOUGHT I WAS READY BUT WHAT COULD PREPARE ME FOR THIS?
LAMBS (COUNTERLINE)
IT'S AGENT STARLING!
BILL
YOU'LL BE LUCKY TO LEAVE HERE ALIVE WITH YOUR BRAINS INTACT. (WE
NEED A NEW LINE HERE)
LAMBS (COUNTERLINE)
ARE YOU ABOUT A SIZE 14?
BILL
FOR YOU THIS IS TERROR,
FOR ME THIS IS ABSOLUTE BLISS!
LAMBS (COUNTERLINE)
AH, AH, AH, AH, AHHHH
CLARICE
I COULDN'T BE SMART, NO I HAD TO BE BOLD!
IF IT LOOKS LIKE I'M TREMBLING, IT'S JUST 'CAUSE I'M COLD!
SHOULDA SHOT HIM BEFORE HE COULD GIVE ME HIS CARD!
BILL
WOULD YOU FUCK ME, I'D FUCK ME, I'D FUCK ME SO HARD!
CLARICE
NO MATTER THE ODDS I WILL NEVER BACK DOWN.
LAMBS
HE'S PULLING THE TRIGGER,
CLARICE TURN AROUND!
BILL, CATHERINE AND LAMBS

SHE'S CREEPING AROUND IN THE DARK WITH A MANIAC!
68
CLARICE
THIS GUY IS PURE EVIL RIGHT DOWN TO THE CORE...
BILL AND LAMBS (PLUS CATHERINE OFF STAGE)

SHE'S CREEPING AROUND IN THE DARK WITH A MANIAC...
CLARICE
I'M HERE TO SAVE CATH'RINE 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I SWORE!
BILL AND LAMBS (PLUS CATHERINE OFF STAGE)

NO MORE!
MUSIC 16- IN THE DARK WITH A MANIAC
SFX Gun shot.
Bill goes down.
BUFFALO BILL
(singing)
WOULD YOU FUCK ME...?
Bill emits one final disgusting gurgle and dies.
Music ends.
SCENE 22-FBI GRADUATION/FINALE
MUSIC 16B- GRADUATION
The FBI commencement ceremony continues as an instructor

reads the graduating class names and presents them with their ID
badges. They shake the instructor’s hand and exit after receiving
their badge.
FBI INSTRUCTOR
(Distributing badges)
FBI guy #1.
FBI GUY #1
Yeah! Woo hoo!
FBI INSTRUCTOR
FBI guy #2.
69
FBI GUY #2
Look, mommy, look!
FBI INSTRUCTOR
Ardelia Mapp.
ARDELIA
My last name is Mapp?
FBI INSTRUCTOR
Clarice M. Starling!
She receives badge and smiles for the camera.
As she goes to exit, Crawford enters and stops her.
CRAWFORD
Starling.
CLARICE
Mr. Crawford.
CRAWFORD
Got a handshake for an old friend?
They shake hands sincerely.
CRAWFORD (CON”T)
Congratulations.
CLARICE
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
CRAWFORD
Clarice (a beat)...your father would have been proud today.
Crawford makes affectionate knuckle to the chin gesture the same way Papa
Shtarling has throughout the show. Clarice takes it in.
Crawford exits.
MUSIC 17- SILENCE OF THE LAMBS REPRISE
CLARICE
70
WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT I COULD MAKE IT THIS FAR IN SO LITTLE TIME

DADDY I DID IT WHEREVER YOU ARE, IT'S MY MOMENT TO SHINE!
The Lambs enter.
LAMBS
SHE SOLVED THE CASE SHE SAVED THE DAY
LET'S GIVE CLARICE A GREAT BIG HAND
THE LAMBS HAVE FINALLY STOPPED SCREAMING
THIS IS THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.
SHE FOUND HER ANSWERS IN A CELL
AND HER SALVATION IN A WELL
BRAND NEW ADVENTURES NOW AWAIT HER
LIKE CONTACT, PANIC ROOM AND NELL.
THIS IS THE SILENCE OF THE--
(The lambs go silent)
The lambs exit.
CLARICE
They're gone. Nothing but...shilence.
Clarice stands alone on the stage in total silence.
After a moment, her cell phone rings, completely breaking the moment and startling her.
CLARICE
(answering phone)
Shtarling.
DR. LECTER
Hello Clarice.
CLARICE
Dr. Lecter.
DR. LECTER
Have the lambs finally stopped screaming?
CLARICE
Dr. Lecter! Where are you?
DR. LECTER
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner. And when
I say “having”, I mean I am actually “eating” that friend for dinner. It’s a play on
words Clarice. Amazing isn’t it?
71
CLARICE
Yes Doctor. It is amazing. Truly amazing.
DR. LECTER
Goodbye Clarice.
We see a nervous Dr. Chilton cross, holding his passport and

luggage.
CLARICE
Dr. Lecter? Dr. Lecter? Dr. Lecter? Dr. Lecter?
DR. LECTER
IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT...
CLARICE
Dr. Lecter?
DR. LECTER
I’D BE REBORN
A MAN BUT MORE HUMANE
PERHAPS A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD
I’LL COOK HER DINNER
RAY LIOTTA’S BRAIN
IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT...
Lambs enter.
LAMBS AND ALL

THIS IS THE SILENCE
OF...
THE...
LAMBS!
BLACKOUT.
END OF SHOW.
EXIT MUSIC.
72

Silence! The Musical (Libretto)

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Silence! The Musical (Libretto)

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SILENCE!

Music & Lyrics by Book by

Contact for Hunter Bell:

Contact for Jon Kaplan and Al Kaplan:

As the lambs sing, Clarice Starling, a trainee at the FBI, enters in

(Note: At certain scene changes, we will indicate and see bold

MUSIC 1- SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

THIS IS THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS!

SCENE 1A-TRANSITION TO CRAWFORD'S OFFICE

MUSIC 1A- TRANSITION TO CRAWFORD (UNDERSCORE)

Clarice continues her journey to through “hallways” and “elevators”

Clarice makes her way to the office, encountering Ardelia.

Ardelia slaps Clarice five as she passes by.

SCENE 2- CRAWFORD'S OFFICE

Clarice faces us and begins to sing.

Clarice turns back to face Crawford.

Immediately an FBI worker pokes his head on stage.

FBI GUY exits.

Clarice tries to calculate in her head.

Lights up on Dr. Chilton, suggesting the scene has shifted from

SCENE 2A- ASYLUM

Throughout the production number Clarice and Chilton dance. As

“THE RIGHT GUIDE”

DO NOT TOUCH THE GLASS

HE’S UNERRINGLY POLITE

IF YOU GET TOO CLOSE

(spoken) Do you swallow Agent Starling?

HERE’S A PHOTOGRAPH OF THE NURSE HE ATE

Chilton flashes a photo in front of Clarice’s face.

IT’S ASTONISHING THAT SHE EVEN SURVIVED!

HE MIGHT ATTEMPT TO SHOCK YOU WITH HIS RAZOR QUIPS

HE MIGHT TOY WITH YOU IF HE THINKS YOU’RE CUTE,

Chilton ends up on one knee, his arms apart. He breathes heavily.

SCENE 3-TRANSITION TO LECTER’S CELL

MUSIC 2A- WALK TO LECTER

SCENE 4-LECTER’S CELL

She presents an ID.

DR. LECTER (CONT’D)

DR. LECTER (CONT’D)

Clarice is pressed completely against the glass now. Her face is

DR. LECTER (CONT’D)

MUSIC 3- IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT

The lights transition as Lecter sings.

IF I COULD SMELL HER CUNT,

THIS LITTLE WEST VIRGINIAN HICK

PERHAPS A NEW RELATIONSHIP,

I'D LIKE TO TELL HER I DON'T CARE,

IF I COULD HELP HER SOLVE THIS CASE

LONELY, LONELY LUNATIC

Midway through the song, “Dream Lecter” and “Dream Clarice”

IS THIS WHO I REALLY AM,

TRAPPED BEHIND THIS PAIN OF GLASS,

IF I COULD BEND HER TO MY WILL,

Ballet dance break.

At the completion of the number, the lambs restore the borders

She places it in his “tray” and slides it through.

DR. LECTER (CONT'D)

DR. LECTER (CONT'D)

MUSIC 3A- LECTER ANALYZES CLARICE

The lambs surround Clarice and quietly “ oooh” an ominous

Lambs out. Underscore out.

Underscore begins as the “lambs” help transform the panels, re-

MUSIC 3B- CUNT REPRISE