Keyla Eusebio 1

My Biases

My journey as an aspiring Student Affairs professional has been a long process of

acquiring knowledge and enlightening myself on the issues of race, sexuality, ability, and much

more. While I like to believe I am the perfect person who does not have bias, I know this is not

the case. The only thing I can do is work on my bias and become less oppressive with my

actions and words. In taking the association test, it revealed to me that though I used to have

preferences towards dominant groups, I have now found a solid middle ground of preferences

towards race, ability and sexuality.

Prior to taking the test to expose my racial bias, I recall my original test score from over

4 years ago that revealed I have a strong automatic preference for European Americans over

African Americans. I was quite proud to find that when I retook the test, the results were

drastically different and showed that I now have a moderate automatic preference African

Americans over European Americans. When I first took the test, I felt a strong sense of betrayal

towards myself because I identity as an Afro-Latina. Yet the results revealed to me that I had a

lot of internalized racism that I never fully addressed. The rest motivated me to concern myself

with issues of race and delve deeper in to my sociological studies and efforts to understand

systematic racism and how I could dismantle such an oppressive system both in society and

within myself.

While most people might see my results as having a slight bias towards black people, I

know that this has been an improvement to where I was all those years ago. Part of the reason

why I have been able to balance my bias is because I dedicated myself to learning in my

Sociology courses and understanding systems and language of oppression. I still strive to learn
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more about how racism exists and how I cannot perpetuate it with my own actions and

behavior.

I did not always embrace my African roots. In a society that idolizes White-European

features, I grew up with a disdain for my skin color. One of the most vivid memories I have as a

child is asking my white passing Latina mother why I could not have skin as light as hers. My

mother chastised me for asking the question and reminded me that I was beautiful. Despite her

efforts to build my confidence, by the age of 10 I decided I wanted to perm my wildly curly hair.

Only then did I receive genuine acknowledgement from teachers and boys telling me that I

looked pretty with my hair pin straight. Unlike my hair, I could not do much to change my skin

color but stay out of the sun. I corresponded being black and Latina with being unwanted, so I

did my best to maintain a white washed version of myself. However, after many years and a

long journey to Latina self-love, I finally learned to love my brown skin and thick curly hair. Now

when I look in the mirror I feel empowered knowing that I am defying the definition of typical

beauty and am proud to call myself an Afro-Latina. Overall, I have grown closer with other

minorities throughout this journey of enlightenment which is also why I have become more

aware of other minorities like disabled people and the LGBTQ community.

One result that I was shocked to discovered is that I have a moderate preference for Gay

people over Straight people. I always thought I was very privileged in the fact that I am a

heterosexual and I know there have been instances where I have been biased against gay

people. For example, I remember saying that I was okay with gay people being affectionate so

long as I did not have to witness it. That was a strong example of my prejudice against the

LBGTQ community and oppressing gay people from being able to have public displays of
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affection with their partners without judgement from the public. I know now that

microaggressions like that were oppressing gay people

However, when I do interact with gay people, I do feel more comfortable with them

because I know they are a minority as well and face oppression in their everyday life as well. I

have also gone out of my way to interact more with gay people or people who identify as a

member of the LGBTQIA+ community. I knew that an area I was uncomfortable with talking

about was issues of sexuality and all of the umbrella terms associated with gender and

sexuality. Once I began hearing the stories of the people within this group and building

relationships with them, I realized they face the same adversity as I do in terms of my race. At

this point in my life and career, I can only continue to educate myself on the LGBTQIA+

community and advocate for their rights.

Finally, my results also showed that I have a strong automatic preference for Disabled

Persons over Abled Persons. This data did not shock me as I used to be temporarily disabled.

During my second year of college, I was diagnosed with a rare inflammatory myopathy called

Dermatomyositis which caused my skin to break out in severe rashes and caused my muscles to

stop working. In a matter of weeks, I was barely able to walk without the aid of a walker and

could not eat without a feeding tube. Being diagnosed with the disease introduced me to the

world of ableism. The most difficult part about having an invisible disease is that not many

people realized how their health and functioning body was a privilege. An instance where I

recognized that I was temporarily disabled was when I was called “lazy” by a woman on an

elevator. She scolded me for not taking the stairs to the second floor even though I could barely

stand straight without the help of holding onto something. I knew from that point that I had the
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privilege of appearing healthy but the disadvantage of having an invisible disease. I recognize

that I am very privileged in the fact that my physical disability was only temporary and aim to

be as inclusive as possible. I am comfortable with disabled people, whether visibly or not visibly

disabled because I can connect with them on a personal level. This is one identity that I

consider to be a salient part of my identity because I know one day I might be disabled again

and may not even be able to walk. Possessing this identity, I try my best to educate others and

to correct them whenever they are being exclusive with their behavior or language. All in all,

bias will exists in this world and the best I can do is educate myself and others when I can about

the issues of oppression different marginalized groups experience every day in their lives.