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Dream Diary From March 2018

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These are non sequitur surreal verses written by Adi Cox in the
style of prose poetry. Each verse is one dream that has been
written down to the best of my ability.

CONTENT.

Spring Chapters
March 2018 --- verses 1-28 (28)
April 2018 --- verses 29-55 (27)
May 2018 --- verses 56-100 (45)
(100)

Summer Chapters
June 2018 --- verses 101-132 (32)
July 2018 --- verses 133- 182 (50)
August 2018 --- verses 183 - 233 (51)
(133)

Autumn Chapters
September --- verses 234 - 269 (36)
October --- verses 270 - 288 (19)
November --- verses 289 - 322 (34)
(89)

Winter Chapters
December --- verses 323 - 354 (32)
January --- verses 355 - 389 (35)
February --- verses 390 - 42? (3?)
(10?)

100+133+89=322
____________________________________________________
March 2018

____________________________________________________

(1) Our Generation.

(2) Scraggy The Ginger Tom.
(3) Moved On.
(4) Fun Night.
(5) To Find A Space.
(6) Walk Away.
(7) Not Really.
(8) Making Work.
(9) A While.
(10) An Event.
(11) Fat Pudding.
(12) Inexplicable.
(13) The Army Of Choice.
(14) Kitchen Classic.
(15) As We Dance.
(16) Flat Box.
(17) The Girl That I Like.
(18) As I Watch Them Play.
(19) Sidelined Into Insignificance.
(20) Bits Of Gossip.
(21) Ancient Symbols Of Division And That Great Divide.
(22) My Imposition.
(23) Our Distraction.
(24) Choc A Lot.
(25) Barbara.
(26) To Find Our Place.
(27) My Silence.
(28) Odd Behaviour.
1-3-18

(1) Our Generation.

At my age in life at fifty two I have learnt all these dance moves to
the sounds of the modern beat. I pick myself up and I put myself
down. I position myself and then I throw myself around. All the
single parent males take note of each other as we teach our
children and we talk about the music styles of our generation as
we jump around:

This is the beat of the Manchester Rave scene. This is the beat of
the Techno Dream. To which at our late age, we pick ourselves up
and then we throw ourselves around.

2-3-18

(2) Scraggy The Ginger Tom.

It is all about the cat. I do my job and I get my rewards, but it is
the cat that needs you. That scrawny cat who watches and waits
with its scraggy fur coat. That ginger fur coat all wet and
dishevelled has seen better days.

There are two almost identical phone numbers. Except one ends
in one four zero and the other ends in one three five. I am looking
at these numbers but I do not know who they are.

3-3-18
(3) Moved On.
The lads are carrying on with the band without me. I have moved
on. I notice that in family room 2 they are playing there and so I
stop around and listen to them. I did not know that there was a
family 2. I knew that there was a family room 1. I have a chat with
a lad from the band but I have moved on.

4-3-18

(4) Fun Night.

This is not my mobile disco. I am just helping someone to run their
disco. There seems to have been an argument. There is a bit of
tension. I have set up the disco in the living room. On the settee
and its two matching comfy chairs. It does not give enough room
for dancers though. There is just enough room for one person on
the dance floor which is just in front of the TV and that space is
taken up by a man sat on a dining room chair. He is a big lad
wearing a white shirt. The family of this household have had an
argument and the various factions of people have split off. The
one older lad is the person sat on the dining chair in front of the
TV. No one else can watch TV now. Someone else in the family is
not happy about this. So there he is sat with his back to us
watching TV. The disco is set up all around him on the three piece
suit. I sense that it is going to be a fun night in this household
tonight. Someone could get extremely cross here.

6-3-18

(5) To Find A Space.

It is all about parking your car up so that you are free. People park
their cars and this is tied in with other things. So it needs to be
clear, it needs to be on its own without distractions, without
having to get your money out all the time. I watch around and I
see others watching those people who park their cars. There are
some frowns. There are some idiots out there who just park
anywhere. It will all come back on them in the end.

8-3-18

(6) Walk Away.

I thought that she was my special girlfriend. We go around to this
lads house, this girl and I. She is as close to him as she has been to
me. Maybe she is close to everyone. They are in a small room
together now. I hear her laughing the way that she laughs with
me. I cannot see what they are doing. I am silent now. I am out of
the picture and so I walk off dejectedly.

I thought that I had a special relationship with the girl, but it

seems to me now that she is special to others also. Her
womanliness is attractive to others too, but I am out of the picture
now as I walk off. I just walk away.

9-3-18

(7) Not Really.

The purpley lens comes out of the sun glasses that I have in my
hands, but not really. I know that this is only in my mind and in my
mouth, as I feel the plastic lens in my mouth, but not really. I know
that this is only in my mind. The plastic rattles around my teeth
tastelessly, but not really. I know that these are only thoughts in
my mind and I do not want to think about them any more.
10-3-18

(8) Making Work.

It is as if there is no gravity. Toby is up on the ceiling touching up
the bumpy white wallpaper that has been pasted up there on the
ceiling and then emulsioned over with white paint. This is the
show piece to get more work and so the work must be done good.

I think to myself: 'Why wallpaper a ceiling? Surely this is making

work for yourself. Surely the ceiling could have just been
emulsioned over in white straight onto the ceiling and that would
have saved having to do a lot of work. Me, I am all about not
making work for myself.'

12-3-18

(9) A While.
Me and my dad are sat in the lounge. In comes my sister Maz.
"Come on you're not sitting there!" She says to us.

I get myself to the bottom of the stairs and tell Maz. "You are not
allowed upstairs. You cannot get past me. I will not let you." And I
poke her in her stomach just to make a point.

Later on Mum and Maz are sat outside in deck chairs soaking up
the summer sun. I go up to them and I give them an ice cream
pastie. "Oh thanks." They respond to my generosity in chorus,
grateful for their treat.

"And here's one for me." I finalise, to make it clear that we all
have our pasties.

There is another deck chair, but the cat is sat on it underneath a

cushion. 'I had better not sit on that cat.' I think to myself and to
my surprise the cat talks back.

"I'm not getting off this chair." He states, just before I grab the
cushion and hit the cat on its back with it. To which the cat then
jumps off the deck chair in a hurry with its black fur all fluffed up.
So now I join Maz and mum sat outside in the sun with an ice
cream pastie and we all while our time away in this glorious
sunshine as we each tuck into our pasties.

13-3-18

(10) An Event.
It is all a bit crazy. If the emergency services get you then you have
had it. I have got myself out onto the top road with a roller of
flares that I drag around with me. There are flares being used all
over and the smoke is drifting around making it difficult to see.
There are people here who take action, who know exactly what
they are doing. Quickly I hear a man and his commentary. I watch
him. He is calm, focused and nifty, as he gets himself across the
top road and then onto the wasteland. I was in two minds, but
then I decide to keep myself on this wasteland out of the way,
because if the emergency services take charge of me then I have
lost my freedom.

14-3-18

(11) Fat Pudding.

I am in the house with mum and dad. We are looking for stuff. We
go around a room and look under the carpet. We look everywhere
for stuff like money. Only I am in front. I think that this is a good
move because I find a better chance of finding stuff with my mum
and dad following me on behind.

"Mum wants you to look out of the window outside. There's an

owl." My dad tells me. I look out of the window into the snow
outside and sure enough this owl flies past the bedroom window.

"WOW!" My dad makes me jump. My dad sounds out loudly in

surprise as he sees the owl too.

My sister Maz is cooking. "We've only got one first course and four
puddings." She tells me jokingly as she laughs.

"I will need another pudding then Maz." I tell her in response
furthering on the joke. She hands me a plate with Cheese 'n' chips
'n' salad cream and as I eat the chips I imagine what the puddings
could be.

16-3-18

(12) Inexplicable.
I am travelling on the bus and you can get rewards back. I have
been looking around, working it all out. I meet someone and tell
them about my position and about the rewards that I have
accrued. It takes skill and you have to know what you are doing
here. It is all a bit vague and you can get lost in the abstract. There
is so much more to all of this than what I am telling you, but it has
all gone now. Lost in a fogginess. Some of my thoughts are left
behind. There are thoughts that I have lost in my memory almost
immediately. There are subtleties that cannot be expressed here, I
am sure about that.

17-3-18

(13) The Army Of Choice.

Ronnie McPherson is asking me all these questions and I am
feeling good as I Know how to answer them. Then he asks me:

"How much money would it cost you to travel by land from China
to Norway if it costs £20 to travel in each country that you go
through?"

"That's easy I've got a map." I tell him.

Then I am told, "The right army is the army of choice."

(14) Kitchen Classic.

This room is hustle and bustle, full of people. I am tidying up after
everyone. I clean the rubbish off the table. There is a perfectly
good circular bread roll with a hole in it. Like a donut. I decide to
fill the bread roll up with whisked egg and then microwave it to
make a scrambled egg roll. I do not know how this will turn out. I
am just concerned about getting egg shell in the mix, but I will
give it a try.

18-3-18

(15) As We Dance.
I miss my girl and I sing this song:
"She was gorgeous
She was my friend
But I wanted more
So it had to end.

I need some neem help."

(Neem is a tree of the mahogany family that grows in India. It is
said to have healing properties.)

"Do you like that helmet?" I am asked by someone who has just
joined me in a dance.

"Yes I do." I reply having forgotten that I was wearing a helmet and
then we dance the night away.

We all decide to go out of the pub. I step outside, then the door
step grows ten feet high. "Do not worry, we will be able to get
back in." I am reassured that I will be able to get back into the pub
later to collect my belongings. She has a brass key that will lower
the step, you see.

19-3-18

(16) Flat Box.

We are having a painting competition. I ask my dad about colour
codes. "Does it really matter?" He asks in reply.

"Yes, you might want to change the colour code if it interferes

with the background." I interject.

"Oh, I see." My dad says thoughtfully and a bit irritated that I am

making this painting competition so complicated.

I paint an unfinished box like I have never painted before. It does

not have all of its sides. It is very parrallelagramish I think to
myself as I stand back and admire my work. It is two right angled
triangles joined together at their adjacents. One of the triangles is
upside down.

20-3-18

(17) The Girl That I Like.

I am running down a long street as fast as I can. Is that a man
running to my left and slightly behind me? The speed that I am
running is astounding and there is something to my left and
slightly behind me that keeps in perfect speed with me down this
long, straight city street. It just keeps up with me. It mirrors my
pace, but what is it?

There are two foreign girls in this shop now. I know which girl I like
the best, but they both admire this man who I do not know, but I
watch them. I see the girls react to this man and so I know that
both of these girls, they adore him.
There is a suit case being carried by this man. He is very
thoughtful about his actions and he justifies all that he does to
those people who are around him. There is some confusion in this
shop at the tills. Then the man leaves this shop. He walks outside
and I watch the rain under the street light as it falls down onto his
suit case.

The two foreign girls are in competition with each other for the
attention of this man. I know which girl I like, but I just spectate. I
am not a party to what is going on. I am not privy to their
affections. I just watch from a distance detached, but I know
which girl I like.

21-3-18

(18) As I Watch Them Play.

There is a lad and a girl called Georgina who are sat around a
piano table. It is like a pool table only there are piano keys all
around the edge of it. They are building up the tension as they are
paying their notes. Georgina is sat at the end of the table and the
lad is sat at the side of the table. He plays the piano keys on the
opposite side of the table reaching over the green baize he plays
his notes upside down. Building up the tension, building up the
fun. Is it a seance? Is it a channel to the spirit world? I do not
know, but it is something like that.

They take it in turns to play their tunes. They go up in pitch with

both of their hands tinkling away. They go through their routines.
It is kind of spooky. They are delving in deep as they go through
the motions. There is a sense of spirit that they reap. They know
what they do now and they tap into it good, as they work off of
each other as how only they could.

22-3-18

(19) Sidelined Into Insignificance.

There are all these light grey plastic pipes for my dreams to go
down. They are the guttering. They are like half cut drain pipes
only with full pipes that are smaller in diameter that go down the
middle of them. I try to fit two bits of guttering on top of one
another, with one of them upside down, but the smaller full pipes
in the middle of this guttering get in the way.

I am in competition with this woman and I have been ushered into

using these pipes. I had to get in fast. I seized this opportunity
quickly to use these pipes, otherwise I would have been sidelined
into insignificance forever.

These pipes are not quite right as I fit them together. I wait
patiently to get some attention, but my waiting is in vain. That
woman is here and she is taking up my time. She is wasting all of
my time. So then ultimately and unavoidably I am sidelined into
insignificance, as I stand there patiently with my light grey plastic
pipe dreams in my hands. I just stand there.

24-3-18

(20) Bits Of Gossip.

It is really vague but I have something to say with grated chocolate
on it. I feel the grated bits of chocolate fall down and land on a flat
paper surface with the sound of many tinkles. Tink. Tink. Tink,
tink, tink. Tink.

25-3-18

(21) Ancient Symbols Of Division And That Great Divide.

I am in some big house, full of people. These people are around
me they are different people to the people who I have known
before. These people are more spiritual than the people who I
have ever known before. Some of them articulate. Some of them
do not. Some may be crackpots. I am making them out. I am quiet.
I am reticent as I take in the feel of this place and I watch the
people and their ways.

I make my way to a railway station. The platform moves. Those

grey concrete slabs and ramps reveal themselves as I walk along,
but I am aware that this railway station is divided into two parts. I
want to get onto the other half of this railway station, but in
between there is a swampy no mans' land full of little tombstones
that are overgrown with nettles. I step onto these little
tombstones. They have rusty metal bars that I stand on as
stepping stones I step across, but the nettles they grow high and
they sting me on my hands. The gravity it pulls me down here like
hands that grab me and pull me down towards the swamp. So as I
try to cross this swampy no mans' land, symbols! Ancient symbols
cross my mind that send chills down into my spine. It is then and
only then that I abandon my journey. I give up my attempt to cross
this divide. Too scared of what might happen. Too wracked with
the anxieties I find in those ancient symbols that permeate into
my mind.
(22) My Imposition.
I am jamming with this bloke. We are both on acoustic guitars. He
has these chords that he plays with this rhythm and I find a few
notes that sound good to it. I make a little tune to his rhythm
guitar.

"Do you want to make that song an instrumental?" I ask him keen
to use his playing for the little tune that I have made up to go
along with his guitar playing.

"No, I have some words that go with that song." He tells me which
stops me dead in my tracks with my idea for an instrumental.

'Maybe he could have his words and then incorporate my little

tune into this song after the words have been sung.' I think to
myself, but I have been dissuaded from mentioning this. He
obviously has his own plans for his guitar music. Who am I to
impose on this?

25-3-18

(23) Our Distraction.

We are in a tiny little car driving around. There is a lot of bickering.
Alan is good at delegating, pointing the finger and passing the
blame. I am driving this little white car, but then I decide to refuse
to drive anymore. We are in people's back gardens in this car. The
soil is dark, heavy and damp and this car is hard to steer in this
heavy soil. Enough is enough. I relinquish myself from the task of
driving this car. Alan does not have a clue of what he should do,
really. But I am tired of taking the blame.
So we are stuck here in someone's back garden with our little
white car, stuck here in this heavy sodden soil. Then I notice
something. Suddenly I notice something move in this heavy soil.
"Hey look! It's a pot bellied pig!" I shout out loud and sure enough
a little black and grey male pot bellied pig comes running along.
He has two little sisters who are bright yellow and blue. They are a
bit fish like though. His sisters are special they can talk you see. So
we while our time away in someone's back garden talking to two
bright yellow and blue fish like creatures, who are the two talking
sisters of this pot bellied pig.

(24) Choc A Lot.

I go through all of these empty chocolate bars. I go through their
empty cardboard packaging like a stack of playing cards. I read the
packaging as I go through them. Some have fancy writing on.
Some do not. For some it is the same chocolate bar but with a
different packaging, in different colours, in a different font.
Sometimes the chocolate bar is still in its packaging but usually
not.

L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.

L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.
L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.

I cannot believe that all of these chocolate bars have been eaten
by the same person. Not eaten by me, but eaten by a woman who
is called Paula. She likes her chocolate bars a lot. There is a lot of
information here that I go through written on card. On the
packaging that I shuffle through and deal with and read all about.
This is a big deal. Yes, she likes her chocolate bars a lot.
 Paula And Adi.

28-3-18

(25) Barbara.
I am a barber as I watch her wake up in the barbers' chair. I
wonder about her dream. I wonder how far she has been gone in
her dream. How deep did she go? I make a conscious effort to
evaluate this. I look at her mood, her predisposition and I gauge
her as she slowly comes round. As she comes round sat in the
barbers' chair.

29-3-18

(26) To Find Our Place.

I am working my way to eight O'Clock in this room. There is a big
van that goes there in an hour or two. There is a big van that goes
there and it will do a lot of tidying up along the way. It will be
better when everything is a bit neater. This will sort everyone out
and it will put us all into place.
30-3-18

(27) My Silence.
They fall through the gaping holes in the road. I push one of them.
I find a convenient time. I tap his back foot from behind him as he
is walking along and as he trips up I push him hard on his back to
make sure that he falls. He grabs hold of another person as he is
falling down and they both fall down through the holes in this
road that they walk down.

This road is made up of circular aluminium grey discs that you can
stand on. Some of these circular discs are joined together, but in
between these discs is an emptiness where the road can swallow
you up. There are two people missing because of me and I tell no
one. There is an investigation into the disappearance of these two
missing people, but I keep my mouth shut. I keep my silence.

31-3-18

(28) Odd Behaviour.

Maz went out and she spent over £500 on a Chinese meal. Why
would she do that? It is not just that, she has done other things
too. She is my sister and my mum and dad look at me suspiciously,
as if for some reason it is my fault that she is out of order. She is
my younger sister but I am a child here too. I play on the front
garden. I do my forward rolls on the front lawn grass and as I do so
my parents they watch me through the front glass window. I feel
their eyes of suspicion watching me. There is no crime in my
heart, but I am affected by all of their suspicions. My parents
constantly quiz me. They look for answers. They search for
reasons for Maz's odd behaviour. Why would she do these things?

My favorite verses for March:

4,7,9,16,17,20,24,27,28.

____________________________________________________

April 2018

____________________________________________________

(29) Check Me Out.

(30) A Little Wendy House And A Big Warehouse.
(31) Perfect Connection.
(32) Open Mic.
(33) I Laugh : O
(34) Move On.
(35) A Paper Chase.
(36) Up In The Galary.
(37) My Deception.
(38) Where The Rich And Famous Live.
(39) I Do?
(40) Semi Retirement.
(41) Off Of His Head.
(42) Detraction.
(43) Hail The King!
(44) College Life.
(45) Disaster Hospital.
(46) May I Interject?
(47) A Spark In Her Hand.
(48) Heart Space.
(49) Aquasitions Of Wealth And A Guilty Pleasure Of Mine.
(50) A Parody.
(51) Every Little Thing.
(52) Just Me.
(53) *Little Miss Ditsy*
(54) Move On ------>
(55) Such Depths.

1-4-18

(29) Check Me Out.

All because of Paxo I am well and truly stuffed. I go through this
feeling, a place where I can be.

I have to go and collect all spiritual matters. I feel the presence of

people all around me. I feel the presence of those spiritual
matters that find me and face me. I see a face look at me.

2-4-18

(30) A Little Wendy House And A Big Warehouse.

This house that I work in was once Wendy's house. I can tell that
by the way the hall way is that leads to the bedroom. That means
that we must be in the village of Billinghay.

I am chatting to this lass who is an estate agent. There is a lad with

glasses who told her to find my niece and nephew a decent house.
"Find them a cheap house." I heard the lad with glasses tell her
earlier. She tells me how cheeky the lad with glasses is and then
she asks me about my niece and nephew.

I find myself inside this big warehouse. I am walking along when a

big truck slams into a wall behind me and just misses me! I do not
know what these warehouse walls are made of but this truck has
just ricocheted off of this wall. And then another little green
dumpy lorry goes head on into this big warehouse wall. This lorry
just bounces back with a little jump in the air, stopped dead in its
tracks. There are some old blokes going crazy in this big
warehouse now. "They are going to kill themselves! They are
crazy!" I hear one of the old blokes exclaim as these blokes rally
around in response to these crazy drivers. I do not know what
these old blokes think that they can do. I am just in fear of my life
now as I walk back through this warehouse the way that I have
just been. I evaluate the safest route out whilst keeping a good
look out for any more rouge trucks that might run me over in this
big warehouse.

4-4-18

(31) Perfect Connection.

I am just following this lad as he is talking. His talking synchronises
perfectly with where we are at this time. How does he do that? I
follow him through the winding Devon roads, through city and
countryside alike. Up hills and along cliff tops his talking never
falters. It always matches the landscape. It always follows in
perfect connection.

A few years later and I have a PHD in the local arts.

6-4-18
(32) Open Mic.
I can hear a stoned version of the Tenacious D song 'Tribute.' Every
chord and every note is played to perfection. We just follow it
along and enjoy the ride, as we listen to Mitch sing this song. A
man so ill that he is barely alive. "Where are all the women?" We
ask ourselves. We need more women.

(33) I Laugh : O
There is a man with a brolly. (I laugh) "I know he has been doing
that all day. I do not know what he thinks he is doing!" Says a
voice from out of the clear of the blue.

For some reason it is funny. A man with a brolly brisk and gay
walking along with nothing to say. (I laugh) But I do not know why
that is funny, but it is.

(34) Move On.

We are on the beach and we are working out ways in which to
move on. We write a song, a verse and a chorus. We sing so strong
and we repeat, 'Move On!' In the pebbles and the stones and the
sand on the beach. We all move on and you know that can't be
wrong. In the sandiness of times. In the turning of the tide we
stick to our goals and we all move on, move on, move on.

7-4-18

(35) A Paper Chase.

I draw a gorilla that represents my mood. In black and white I
draw these pictures. Then I encounter this gorilla. In his
stealthiness he draws himself, a black and white gorilla drawing.
He leaves it out for me to find. Gorilla drawings lay around in all of
his different moods. So when you find a gorilla drawing then you
know he is close around. He is stealthy and quick on the draw, but
he cannot be found. In reality he is hidden and he does not make
a sound, but in his stealthiness he is telling you what's what. So
when you see that gorilla drawing letting out a raw. It is only a
drawing in black and white telling you what for.

GORILLA
<(o)> <(o)>
\/\-----------/\/

8-4-18

(36) Up In The Galary.

I am at Sharon Taylor's house with her and her mum. I keep doing
things wrong. I keep knocking things off. I keep knocking things
over. Sharon and her mum are very patient with me and they
make a joke out of my ineptitude.

I have some stuff in the fridge but I need a number code to get
into it. I notice that someone else puts the code into the fridge
and then they get inside. So I quickly glance at the fridge code that
is written on the inside of the open fridge door. I am aware that
this bloke is watching me. I know that he knows what I am doing
as I read off the number to myself, I am struggling to memorise
this long digit number.

I go to a meeting. Sharon says "You don't want to go there, it's

boring." I hear a woman behind me at this meeting and I hear her
talk passionately about her grades. I think to myself, 'It's for
people who think that qualifications matter.' But when I listen to
her she is just spouting off letters and numbers and grades that
she has got. It means nothing to me.

So I go off and I follow Sharon Taylor. "That's my work." Sharon

tells me pointing up to some paintings. "The big one's mine she
says proudly."

"That's your painting." I say surprised.

"Ssshhh!" She quickly responds. "No one's supposed to know

whose painting it is." I look at the painting of a big fat pig in mud.
Sharon Taylors name is not on the display, but she has a
pseudonym, so that no one knows who has done this painting.

"That's just typical of these times! Why can't people just paint and
show their work off and not put other names on their work?" I
spout off and I make my point passionately and with indignation.

I catch a glimpse of a twenty pack of three fives, state express,

(555). They are in a pocket in the side of my ruck sack bag and as I
am walking along I think to myself, 'I have not had a smoke in a
long time.' But then I remember my last smoke and it was not that
long ago really.

9-4-18

(37) My Deception.
We are setting up a disco function. I have got jobs to do, but I am
not sure what it is that they want me to do. I do not even know
who this do is for. I would not recognise him if I saw him.

There is a man walking around with one foot and a small hard hat
on. He looks like a shoe with a small hard hat on top. He gets
around though. I stop to talk to him for a while to see if I can get
any ideas of what I should be doing here. I tell him what he looks
like. His hard hat moves up and down when he talks to me. He
makes me smile.

There is a tall man in charge. He comes up to me and he speaks to

me, "If there is aggression within you then it will come out of
you." He tells me. "If someone has been opened up to violence
then that violence will come out. I am worried about Paul." The
man continues, "I think that he might have been opened up to
violence." The man nods over into Pauls direction as he speaks.
Paul is manning the bar serving drinks. I think to myself, 'He knows
about my behaviour. He knows that I have kicked off recently and
that is why he is telling me all this. It is the violence of my past
that as come out of me and he knows this.' I feel a little ashamed
of myself now, how I have let my bad behaviour creep in when I
get stressed out. I am not the placid man who I appear to be.

11-4-18

(38) Where The Rich And Famous Live.

I have this big car dryer. I go around drying cars. I go to famous
and rich peoples drive ways and dry their cars. I put the car dryer
above the car. The dryer is as big as the car and it just hovers
there. So as it hovers above the car it drys it. It is quite strange
because all of these rich peoples driveways are all next to each
other. It must be a district where only rich and famous people live.
There is a red motorbike that comes along and it advertises beds.
It has a side car on it and this side car is a bed with a mattress on
it. The motorbike rider is riding it up and down the curb stones.
The mattress on the side car bed jumps up and down every time
he hits curb stones. There is a clear plastic sheet blowing in the
draft off this matters, as he moves along this rich and famous
neighbourhood.

Next there is a herd of white hobbie horses who come out from
nowhere. Hundreds of them in and out of driveways. They migrate
across this neighbourhood with their white manes flopping
around as they move along and all the rich and famous people are
hiding well indoors, as this is all captured on television.

12-4-18

(39) I Do?
"I've got twelve lords a leaping!" I find myself saying.

"Are you alright?" I am asked from the ethereal beyond.

"No not really." I reply.

I have my towel around me and I am doing my best here. I am

singing you see. There is someone within me, a presence about
me, but I know not who they are. I have been deep within myself
and now I am up here as I sort myself out from a place so remote
that I am truly hard to find.

There could have been marriage, but how did it come to this, as I
stand on these green green lawns, I do. For she is the presence
about me, but I know not who she is and I know not why I am
here. I do NOT.

15-4-18

(40) Semi Retirement.

Hello I am Gary's carer. I work these odd hours in the dark winter
months so that I may be free for the summertime months to
come. I climb these steep Devon hills so that I may do my work
here. Just like I have always done so many times before. I sleep
these odd hours so that I may be free in the summer sunshine and
so that I may use those summer sunshine hours for myself. With
six months on and six months off. With full time work in the
winter and free time for the summer months to come. To be free
to do what I want to do. This is my personal retirement plan of
action for me.

(41) Off Of His Head.

He seems a bit wreckless. We chat for a while, as I fill in the diary. I
draw lines with a biro and sometimes I ink in between those lines
that I have drawn, as we chat. The plastic on the cover is coming
off of this diary. As we chat this man and I, I go along with him, all
that he says. But there is something about him that does not ring
true. I listen to him speak as I do the paperwork. As he talks
something is surely not right. He is a little off hand. A little out of
his head as he spouts off. I listen as he talks. So then we decide to
go out for a drive, but there is something about him that I am not
sure about, as I fill in the diary with my biro between the lines that
I have drawn. As I colour in with my ink pen, as I think then, 'This
man is off of his head.'

(42) Detraction.
I demonstrate something to Andy that is mathematical in nature.
But it soon becomes clear that I am number blind. I cannot do the
arithmetic. I take too long working out the numbers. I struggle
with the numbers and this is an embarrassment to me you see.
This is what undermines my credibility. This is what detracts
people from listening to me. This is what detracts people from
acknowledging what I have to say. But I know. I know what I mean,
even if that is not how it would seem.

Floating Base Arithmetic:

floating base b is equal to the highest digit in a number plus one.

Therefore the floating base of the following numbers are:

12 ---> base b=3 ---> 5base10

673 ---> base b=8 ---> 443base10
10 ---> base b=2 ---> 2base10
8765544321 ---> base b=9 ---> 3432370645base10

So an example of using floating base in arithmetic:

12 + 14 = (1x3^1 + 2x3^0) + (1x5^1 + 4x5^0) = 5 + 9

= 1110 or 112 or 32 or 24 or E
There are five possible solutions: 1110 or 112 or 32 or 24 or E in
bases 2,3,4,5 and F (base 15) respectively.

22 in base 6 would be a correct answer but because 2 is the

highest digit, this answer is in base 3 using the rules for floating
base arithmetic and so it is an incorrect floating base answer.

All possible floating base numbers from 0 to 15:

n
0|0
1|1
2 | 10, 2
3 | 11, 3
4 | 100, 4
5 | 101, 12, 5
6 | 110, 20, 6
7 | 111, 21, 13, 7
8 | 1000, 22, 8
9 | 1001, 14, 9
10 |1010, A
11 |1011, 102, 23, 15, B
12 |1100, 30, C
13 |1101, 31, 16, D
14 |1110, 112, 32, 24, E
15 |1111, 120, 33, 17, F
---------------------------------------------
| P1 Pn, P4, P3, P2

Patterns That Form From Possible Floating Base Numbers:

* First pattern P1:
(binary pattern).
Every number n can be represented as a floating base number in
binary (base 2).

* Second Pattern P2:

(nth number pattern in base n+1).
Every number n can be represented as a single digit in base n+1.

* Third Pattern P3:

(1a in base (a+1) pattern).
This is where 2a+1=n, therefore n is an odd number when n is
equal to or greater than 5.

* Fourth Pattern P4:

(ax in base (a+1) pattern).
This is where x+2a+2=n.

* nth Pattern Pn:

There are other patterns yet to be defined at higher values of n.

TO BE CONTINUED

16-4-18

(43) Hail The King!

Apparently, he is a Scottish king and for some reason I get away
with a lot of things, so I am told, but I am careful not to push him
too far. I do not like to get too embroiled in the politics here.

"It is neem to be here."

I introduce the king's word here. I know that it is his word and that
is why have said it. Maybe it will give me some much needed luck.

I am told by two guards what to do, They try to push me around,

but I am cocky. I know the king you see and so they do not push
me too far. I know the king and so I am privileged in this king's
company.

17-4-18

(44) College Life.

I am at college here, but I do not really feel that I fit in. I feel a
little awkward as I walk around this building. In the library I try to
find something of interest. I just meander around this college. I
see a woman, she looks nice, but she talks about her husband and
I reflect on the fact that I am single as I listen to her conversation
with someone who I do not know. In the library there is a lad
there who is quite vocal and he speaks to me about something or
other, then another lad tells him to shut up. I feel a little awkward
again. I just give the lads a wry smile. I have known these lads for a
few years now, but it is not like I grew up with them. I have a quick
glance out of a college window that shines the brightness of the
day through it as I walk past it and I reflect on my aspie ways: The
way that I only half fit in here, the awkwardness with which I
approach those people who are around me, but 'hay ho!' That is
the college life that I have here and that is just the way that it is.

20-4-18

(45) Disaster Hospital.

I am sent into a hospital to clean it up. Everyone in this hospital
has been pulverised. Apparently everyone in this hospital has
been sucked up into the ventilation system before being released
as a sloppy mangled human mess on the floor. It is eary here. I
came into this hospital on my own but since then I have met up
with two women to help me clean this mess up. So as we clean up
the sloppy human remains on this hospital floor, I listen to them
talk. They talk about ethnicity. They talk about a small area of the
world, a small population. I do not hear everything that they say
but I do hear them mention Bahrain. They say that it is just one
small area in the world that is causing so much trouble. I am just
listening and I am not sure about what they are saying. I just clean
up the sloppy human remains on this hospital floor and I listen to
them talk.

21-4-18

(46) May I Interject?

There is an injection that I have to give, but I am unsure. All the
medical paperwork regarding this has to be removed and then
replaced with new medical paperwork that shows dates and
signatures, but I am not confident about changing this paperwork.
The paperwork is thick like a book with many pages and it is this
that I am unsure about. I go over and over it in my mind's eye, but
there is something not right here.

22-4-18

(47) A Spark In Her Hand.

I have travelled so many miles across this land and now I am here
to put everything into this laundry. To put everything into this big
industrial steam train of a wash. On the tracks of this big old
railway wash. The children's clothes are all laid out in a line as
they go through this process and I notice a little trick. I notice a
woman she has hidden beneath some old clothes, something of
importance that she does not want me to see. In the blink of an
eye she takes from beneath a pile of these old clothes something
of importance you see. As quick as a flash, like a spark in her hand
she lights up hope in the dark. I just sit there all still on my perch
on a hill as I watch in the night and her flash of bright light. As she
reveals to me a spark in her hand and I pretend not to notice you
see.

(48) Heart Space.

Our politicians are homeless. They have no home in Westminster.
Our politicians have been bought out. Parliament has sold out.
You only have to look at the records to know that this is true.

There has been discussions, but I do not know what has been said.
This corruption is all pervasive and I can see just how it has
spread. Democracy does not work you see. It will split your
country apart. We should all find another way and make it from
the heart. <3

24-4-18

(49) Aquasitions Of Wealth And A Guilty Pleasure Of Mine.

I am playing a game and it is all done through the post office.
There are little square peices of paper with writing on that you can
get from the post office. The writing on these little pieces of paper
explain what each little piece of paper is worth. With some you
may be able to collect money and with others you get money off
of a purchase in a shop. It all varies.

I get my hands on a pot full of these little square pieces of paper.

There is a lot of competition between people to aquire these little
pieces of paper and I am looking in a pot full of them. I am going
through these little pieces of paper deciding which ones are
valuable and which of these I will take, but there are people
around me who want to delve into this pot too. So quickly I take
some of the best little pieces of paper out. Those that are most
valuable and then I pass the pot along.

Later I find this card all wrapped in clear plastic and inside there is
a sticky and sweet pastry with sultanas, nuts and raisens. I do not
know whose this is but I take a bite as I slide this pastry through
the plastic and the card and it is sweet and nice. As I walk around
this room full of people eating this pastry I wonder whose pastry I
am eating. I hope that no one will notice so I quickly take another
big bite of this pastry and it is delicious, but it is not mine so
quickly I scoff it all, crinkleing the noisy plastic packaging and this
is my guilt pleasure. I have taken from someone but I know not
who. This pastry has been so nice. It was something that I just had
to do. I place the empty cardboard packaging between two books
on a bookcase hoping that no one will ever know just what I have
done.

25-4-18

(50) A Parody.
I am walking around this place with some other people. We have
got this frame to put together. These hollow aluminium tubes just
slot together. We are finding these pieces to slot together on the
ground all over this place, as we wander and we search and we
work out just exactly which bit slots into which bit.

Everything is leading to a show that we are all in. This show

involves 1970's punk rock music from back in the day. There is a
sexy female involved and she is lovely. She is visually stunning in
her sexy underwear.

Someone has just said that they are going to put on the same
show with a low budget. It will be very much similar to the proper
show except that there is no lovely sexy female. He says that there
will be just himself masterbating to the Sham 69 song 'Hurry Up
Harry.' And he starts to sing this song: "Hurry up Harry come on!"

27-4-18

(51) Every Little Thing.

I am raging. Every little thing that gets me, gets me angry. All the
little things that add up. The people who taunt me. They attack
me for my ways and they surprise me. Jackie she turns on me. She
does not like my ways. I say something and she attacks me. I really
try to keep my cool, but then I blow. I lose my patience. I shout
back. I follow Jackie into an old church building. I tell her, "get
lost!" I show her a different way out of this old church building.
She really makes me mad.

The roof is held up with wooden beams and they are lose. I try to
fix them, but I make things worse and then my dad tells me, "Do
not do that!" And I blow. I lose it.

"Well you sort it out then!" I yell out loud because I am angry.
"You fix the roof!" I rage out loud as the roof comes tumbling
down and there is anger at the slightest thing, but that is me.

I know that these people are good people, but they get me so
fucking mad! With my dad and Jackie, I lose it, I blow my fucking
top! I do not mean to rage so hard, but once I start I cannot stop.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!"

(52) Just Me.

We live on a pool. We float around on lilos. I like to avoid
everything that I can. I laze around on my lilo floating around. If I
hear someone around, I kick off on the sides of this pool and I
float away. This pool is so big. It is massive you see. I listen around
to what is going on. I hear the other people talking in the distance.
They float on afar and I avoid them. It is just my lilo and I floating
around on this pool. Alone on these waters it feels so cool. I am
free you see. Alone on these waters it is just me. I am remote and
afloat and this is how I like it to be. Just me to float and be free.
Just me, you see.

(53) *Little Miss Ditsy*

How has she gotten herself into that position? She is driving her
car and she has done a strange manouver. She has found herself
facing the wrong way. She is stuck at the traffic lights. She
reversed her car when the traffic lights went red and now she is
facing the wrong way. I see her looking in her wing mirror for the
traffic lights to change. She and her car is facing the car that has
pulled up behind her. How embarrassing! Little miss ditsy is arse
about face at the junction : ) Sometimes she gets herself in the
wrong, but I love her so much. <3
 *Little Miss Ditsy*

How has she gotten herself

into that position?
She is driving her car
and she has done a strange manouver.
She has found herself
facing the wrong way.

She is stuck at the traffic lights.

She reversed her car
when the traffic lights went red
and now she is facing the wrong way.
I see her looking in her wing mirror
for the traffic lights to change.

She and her car is facing the car

that has pulled up behind her.
How embarrassing!
Little miss ditsy
is arse about face at the junction : )
Sometimes she gets herself in the wrong,
but I love her so much. <3

28-4-18

(54) Move On ------>

I am waiting in time to write down my experience. To write up
how all the energies have been:

I get a sense of a French female dressed all in pink. She has long
curly platinum blonde hair. She is quite old and she has a little
dog. I take my turn to move on from her life. I fill out my report for
the next soul to come along. For the next soul to work from my
place. To fill out my space with new energies. To breath life into
this poor girls blue life as we awaken her spirit along. ----->

Nothing Left To Say.

There's a river running free

down to the salty sea.
There are puddles in my mind,
my thoughts I cannot find.

There's so much rain

that it washes me away,
dilutes my brain
until I've nothing left to say.

I try to make a speech,

but I stand here so cold and wet.
I stumble over words
I cannot get there yet.

My silence condemns me.

It makes me look a fool.
They say,
"That mute boy he's so dumb."
As I drown here in this pool.
They say,
"That mute boy he's so dumb.
He's just another fool."
 But, there's a river running free
down to the salty sea.
There are puddles in my mind,
my thoughts I cannot find.

There's so much rain

that it washes me away,
dilutes my brain
until I've nothing left to say.

29-4-18

(55) Such Depths.

All of my dreams join up on the opposite side of the road from the
sea. Like a pencil scribble joining dots to dots. So this is my way
within mathematical less ness.

There is so much more to this, but its meaninglessness has

superseded its abstraction into forgetfulness. I find myself at a loss
to explain. I find that I have lost a part of myself to an
incomprehensible spaceless, timeless abstraction. Such is the
depths of this consciousness.

The astral is a spaceless mathematical less ness. This is where Art

becomes the medium. This is where Science becomes lost
because there are no measurements.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Mathematical Space:
Through me, a new space is created. Within mathematics through
me, a new space is created from the Art of that spaceless
mathematical less ness of astral intelligence.

A Trisquare.
A trisquare is a shape within a space, but that space is not the
same as physical space. A trisquare is a shape within two
dimensions within this 'new space shape' that does not mirror a
two dimensional physical space, because it has different
properties. A trisquare has some of the properties of a triangle,
square and circle.

Trisquare Properties.
A trisquare has three sides with three internal angles. Each of
these angles is a square angle. The distance from each vertex to its
opposite side is equal in length all along the line of that opposite
side and so a trisquare has the properties of a triangle, square and
circle respectively.

A Hexcircle.
The picture below is a representation of a hexcircle. The hexcircle
is not in the realm of this space and so this is just an approximate
representation. In this new space a circle and a hexagon is the
same shape and so we get the hexcircle.
A hexcircle is a circle made up of six trisquares. It is a circle with six
square internal angles. It is a circle with a circumference with a
length six times the radius. It is a circle with an area six times that
of its trisquare.

And so a new geometry begins.

The square and square root of a trisquare in this new two

dimensional space is similar to the square and square root of a
square in a standard two dimensional space.
The picture above shows that a trisquare with side length of two is
made up of four smaller trisquares. This gives an arithmetic that is
the same as with geometry in standard space. If the side length of
a trisquare is x then its area is equal to x squared.

The above picture could equally be of a trisquare with sides of one

that are split into two halves. This gives a model of a geometry in
rational space. In this case where x equals one half then x squared
equals one quarter which makes sense.

Below is a pictorial representation of a two dimensional space of

hexcircles made up of six trisquares that use the new
mathematical space that has been explained above which is a
different mathematical space to that of standard two dimensional
space.
'New Space Geometry' Is Elliptic.
Area A of a hexcircle has the formula six times the radius squared,
A=6r^2. The circumference C of a hexcircle has the formula six
times the radius, C=6r. If we work out C/A then we get C/A=1/r.
This is the ratio of circumference to area and determines how new
space geometry lies on the spectrum of geometrical spaces
between hyperbolic and elliptic.

Comparing the above with a circle in standard space geometry

then we get: The circumference of a circle divided by the area of a
circle = C/A = 2/r. Therefore we find that new space geometry is a
more elliptic geometrical space than standard space geometry.

If we say that standard space geometry (physical space geometry)

is parabolic which is exactly between hyperbolic and elliptic on the
spectrum of geometrical spaces then we have something to work
from.

The motivation behind creating new space geometry is to invent a

geometry that does not use pi. The theory here is that pi is a value
that is related to physical space and what I have termed standard
geometry. The theory is that pi is only important because we have
based our mathematics on the properties of physical space.

My favorite verses for April:

45,48,50,52,53,55.

____________________________________________________

May 2018

____________________________________________________

(56) A Difference.
(57) How Dare He?
(58) Twat!
(59) The Happy Threesome.
(60) Chippy Sets The Table.
(61) Condemn Nation.
(62) The Sarsahr, They See Me In Astral.
(63) All Wired Up.
(64) An Accept Of Time.
(65) I Take To Relieve My Senses.
(66) A Bed Of Onions.
(67) Beer Here.
(68) My Lost Guitar.
(69) Looking For You.
(70) A New Consciousness, Or Just Plain Madness?
(71) What To Do In Looe.
(72) Not A Full Chess Set.
(73) That Trick Shot Is Not Interesting Anymore.
(74) Troubled Colin And The Dick Song.
(75) Busker Adi.
(76) How To Feed Your Head.
(77) My Standards.
(78) Hanging Around.
(79) So Thoughtful.
(80) Deep Blue Baby.
(81) I Make Myself Known.
(82) A Beautiful Old Song.
(83) I Wait In Expectation.
(84) What Does She Want From Me?
(85) Access And Joy From The Elder.
(86) Morning Glory.
(87) So Sure.
(88) Careful With What I Do.
(89) Very Becoming.
(90) Just A Jacket.
(91) Parked Up And Speeding.
(92) Flotsom And Jetsom.
(93) A Default.
(94) Reflections Of A Man.
(95) People! Pee Pole!
(96) Me-And-Her, And Him.
(97) An Astrological Skyscape.
(98) Travel Disruptions.
(99) A Balloon Slapping Time.
(100) Secrecies And Lies.

1-5-18
(56) A Difference.
I see a woman with a bag around her neck. She is middle aged and
she walks right up to me. With her straight face she looks straight
into my eyes and she tells me, "I don't even know what you are
talking about!" This shocks me. There is serious concern on her
face. She reminds me of a woman that I used to know. She is
familiar although I have never seen her before, because she is
similar to this other woman, but there is a difference. It is this
difference that makes me question myself. Who is she? Am I being
mistaken?

2-5-18

(57) How Dare He?

I am living in a caravan, I have decided to fill the caravan with
toilet paper. Set it on fire to make a claim for this caravan. I tell
Roger Hales about this. I tell him exactly what I plan to do.

Later I get investigated, oddly enough by my doctor. For some

reason it is the doctor who I have to answer to. My caravan gets
raided. All the burning toilet paper gets discarded before the
caravan gets chance to catch fire and I have to answer a few
questions from the doctor. I am worried that my family will find
out about my plan to set my caravan on fire, so I make up some
excuses. I explain that it was a medical reason for all that toilet
paper in my caravan. The doctor questions me about the
medication that I am on. So I tell him about that. I think that I am
going to be okay. I feel that my alibi is working.

Later I see Roger Hales and Mick Benton. Mick says to me, "You
should not have told Roger Hales about your plans."
I look to Roger and I say, "Roger would never grass on me."

Mick replies in an instant, "Well he did." I look at Roger again. He

is silent. He does not look at me. He is looking down in shame and
he sort of shrugs his shoulders. I guess that he must feel some
responsibility. I search within myself about his actions. I did not
think that he would do that. I thought that I could trust him. He
snitched on me.

"He's a snitch!" I exclaim in disgust.

(58) Twat!
There is a big fuss about whether I bit someone. I was singing and
then they put their finger in my mouth. I was singing 'Nice And
Sleazy.' I had my eyes closed. How did I know that they were going
to put their finger in my mouth? I am told that they have it all on
video. That it has all been recorded. They have the evidence. They
do not let it go. They just keep on about it. So I lose it. I ram my
fist down this lads throat. I twat him. "You see! It's not nice is it!" I
yell, as I make my point and things really heat up then!

3-5-18

(59) The Happy Threesome.

There is a couple here on the beach. They really need some help,
some bloke and his woman. I do not get involved. I have been
asked to help them, but I have stalled. I have found my way
around this, I have found the way out of the burden of this
control. There are those around me who seem disappointed with
my lack of enthusiasm to help the couple. Some people seem
disgruntled at my decision not to help this couple. I find out that
there is a man who is willing to marry this couple in order to help
them. What sort of marriage will that be? And how is that going to
work? Now that is devotion to a friendship!

(60) Chippy Sets The Table.

There is a table without its table top. There is just two aluminium
legs that are bolted into the floor. They stick out of the ground
proud and straight. Each leg has had its rectangular table top
removed. These two rectangular table tops used to butt up to
each other to make a square table top of two halves in separation,
but now the new table top will be a square one piece block of
wood. It will fit onto the two aluminium legs that are bolted
upright into the ground. This represents all as one, in this cafe of
delightfulness. At this table this will represent where we will all sit
around, where we will all eat from and where we will all become
one.

4-5-18

(61) Condemn Nation.

I represent for a scientist in a court of law. I really do not know
what I am doing here. I am just feeling my way around. I am too
unsure on what to say and what to do. As far as I know there has
been no crime committed as we tenuously make our way through
this court of law. Mark Reynolds and myself we sometimes feel
that we need justification as we represent ourselves in this crazy
world. This crazy court of law that points its finger and judges us
for who we are. In this room of light oak panels of respectability
that hands out with its gavel, its verdicts of guilt and its bias
pomposities for the big wigs, for the big wigs who feel that they
are in charge of us all and in charge of this world that we all live in.
We talk politics and it talks back down to us, because this is the
type of world that we live in.

(62) The Sarsahr, They See Me In Astral.

I am outside with hundreds of these people, all milling around me.
This is not my neighbourhood. I am stood on a path. My pushbike
is stood in the roadside gutter with its peddle holding the
pushbike up as it rests on the curbstone and all these people are
around me.

There is one man who is ordered to explain why he believes in

extraterrestrial and what evidence he has for this. I see him get
into his stride. I see him walk up and he shouts:

"Number one, all these unidentified flying objects that have been
identified. Number two, all the crazies. (I know that he means the
Grey aliens who abduct people here.) Number three ... "

And he goes on. I know that this is just a preliminary explanation

for the time being, but there will be a full and extensive report in
due course from this man.

I am walking off. I go to cross the road when I am aware of a big

red double decker bus to the right of me indicating to turn around
this corner that I am stood on, but some people to the left of me
carry on walking. They do not stop. They step out into the road
and they cross the road. Then the bus does an unlikely bus
manoeuvre to avoid those people who cross the road. The bus
glides sideways and up this building wall along the roof top and
then up over this roof top and across. "Wow!" I am astounded.
That is one crazy manoeuvre and I am quite impressed.
My intention here is to attract in Astral a Sarsahr woman and to
eventually have a relationship with a beautiful Sarsahr woman in
Astral.

5-5-18

(63) All Wired Up.

For some reason I am doing a gig with the Gallagher brothers. I
have my Oasis song to play as I get kitted out to go down a wire
onto stage. I will fly onto stage and this is how it is all set up. It is
all in the preparation, how we get to deliver this music, as we go
through our safety checks and we get the thumbs up. So this is my
moment.

6-5-18

(64) An Accept Of Time.

We are looking to get into Gary's TV/Computer, but there is a
problem. We have waited too long to do this and so now we
cannot access it. You see the length of this time does not bend. It
is like a long plank of wood that will not fit through doorways.

There is someone's sister who I am aware of, who might be able to

help us. I do not know whose sister she is though. I am aware of
her with regards to this wooden shed that I find myself in. It is a
new shed made from nice clean timber. There are bendy white
fibre glass like rods stored in here. They stretch from the bottom
left hand corner up to the top right corner of this nice new
wooden shed.
My boss Doug asks me for the remote control. I am puzzled as to
which remote control that he wants because there are several
remotes to choose from. Doug points to the one that he wants
and he tells me that the access number is 1966 as I pass him the
remote and he puts in these numbers for access into Gary's
TV/Computer. Unfortunately we have left the length of this time
for too long and this time does not bend. So at this time we are
stuck in this moment, unable to move forward. Which is a bit of a
nuisance really, but there is nothing that we can do about this. So
we must accept this for the time being.

(65) I Take To Relieve My Senses.

The teacher in the classroom, she is beginning to get annoyed, but
now I need a pee and although I nervously stutter, I ask her as
nicely as I can. I say to her, "I know it's a bad time b b b but, but
can I go to the toilet?"

"No" The teacher replies to confirm her mardy mood as she stares
back at me. "Go on then!" She says finding her better judgement
as begrudgingly she changes her mind.

I go into a place that is usually out of bounds. I find a toilet that is

so old. I am thinking that this is where the teachers go. There is
Victorian plumbing with its old style fixtures. This toilet takes me
back. It takes me back in time. I am peeing in the past and I look
around in marvel as I take a piss.

So then I am looking for my classroom , but I do not know which

room I am in. I do not know where I am meant to be. There is a
student who keeps talking to me. He keeps telling me things that I
do not need to know.
I cannot get away from all these teachers. They follow me around,
all over. They follow me throughout this school. As soon as I think
that I have lost a teacher another one pops its ugly head up out
from nowhere places.

I go into this classroom and a teacher starts to talk to me. I want

to get away but he follows me. Like the video game 'Pac Man' he
follows me around. He is very flat and pixilated. For some strange
reason he is drinking from a goblet. Through a maze of tables and
chairs I try to give this man the slip, but he takes a short cut and
blocks me off. "I can teach you at the weekend." He tells me. That
is all I frigging need! Then suddenly I find a door and I find a way
to leave.

8-5-18

(66) A Bed Of Onions.

I go and hang out with two single women who I used to know in
an old job of mine, at least they were single then, but neither of
them are single now. I am single now, but I was not back then and
this is how things have changed.

I chat to these two girls about being single. About how I would
rather not be single. I would much prefer to be in a healthy, happy
relationship. As we chat I find some carrots under my bed. Should
I prepare these carrots? I assume that maybe I should. I find a
knife and a bowl of water under my bed also. I guess that maybe
my mum and dad have put these things under my bed. I really do
not mind that my parents have put carrots under my bed and I
inform the two single ladies about this. It is then that I notice
boxes that are full of packets of small onions under my bed or
maybe they are packets of garlic. Some of these packets have
been opened. For obvious reasons I am concerned about opened
packets of onions being under my bed. This is not good!

9-5-18

(67) Beer Here.

Alphie is nice. He is a friendly local in these pubs of Devon. I first
met him at Sidmouth by the river of Sid. A man of this county with
his love of drink, he continues in the traditions of Beer. He
continues to wash himself down by the river and sea. He says that
he has enough money to last him till he dies. Providing that he
dies at two O'Clock, you see. He gets some people to go on a boat.
He deals in liquor and mackerel to keep himself afloat. Here on
this Jurassic coast, here in this fishy seaside town of Beer.

(68) My Lost Guitar.

I suddenly realise that I am without my guitar. I am not too
worried for now. I am sure that it will show up. Casually I retrace
my steps. Where could I have put it? I have lost my guitar. There
are two music groups that I have been to and I am looking around
to see if I can see my guitar anywhere. It must be around here
somewhere. I see Evo. I ask him if he has seen my guitar but he
cannot help me.

So, I go to the other music group. I casually open the door. I can
hear the people inside making their music. As I go through this
door to this music group there are some closed curtains. I peer
around through these curtains to see if I can make my way inside
to search for my lost guitar. There is a girl here that I used to know.
I can feel her presence, but I am looking for my guitar and I cannot
find it anywhere. I think back to where I have been. Someone says
that they think that I have left my guitar between two beds, but I
cannot see my guitar anywhere. There are other guitars in cases. I
open up these cases but I do not find my guitar.

I have Evo's guitar now, but it has no frets. This guitar is so odd.
The neck is too long and there are some gubbins on this neck and I
do not know what they do. I wish that I could find my guitar.

10-5-18

(69) Looking For You.

I come out of the red rocks and I improvise my talk into the bluish
grey rocks that I find. I come out with things to say. Those rocks
they guide me with their intrinsic colours. Sharon she helps me
with an enthusiastic smile.

I read into the emptiness and I find my words with care. I feel the
emptiness, I fill up with conscious awareness, a dareness that I
find from beyond my mind. To the depths of my soul from the
heart of my kindness. I love this challenge that comes out of a
blindness and creates from the necessity of a concise inciteness.
My visions of my love for you.

11-5-18

(70) A New Consciousness, Or Just Plain Madness?

We all make music and we do not all agree as to the direction of
our music. I have been away but I am back now. I feel my way back
into this group of musicians. I feel the disagreements. Sometimes
it feels so uneasy, but I work my way on through.

I have been away a while and there are boiled sweets stuck to the
duvet on my bed. I guess that people have taken these sweets out
of their mouths and then miss thrown them onto my bed. I tell the
people not to do that. I insist that they make amends. There is a
bin for rubbish and it is not my bed as I tidy up around.

I am walking down the road and I see shapes in the sky. Shades of
light grey squares rotate and fold. This is all subjective I know. We
create our own reality. Is this a greater reality or am I just plain
mad? I feel my way into my future, into somewhere where I have
never been before.

I see more shapes now. These shapes they make up humanoid

figures. They walk among us like translucent robots. I walk
through these translucent like robots as if I am collecting points in
a video game. It changes my perception. This sacred geometry is
working through my mind. Reality is shifting to somewhere so
profound. My existence is moving on as I break new ground. I have
found a new consciousness, or maybe this is just plain madness
that is moving all around me, that moves me on in time.

12-5-18

(71) What To Do In Looe.

I get a feel for Cornwall and its remoteness. I get a feel for the
narrow roads and the old buildings that frequent on hillsides. I
need to use the toilet. There is a geometry here. There is a
triangle above the toilet doorway and this triangle is as wide as
the doorway itself, as it lies on its hypotenuse above the doorway.
Its right angle points up into the sky and this triangle has an
engraved ridge within its edges, giving the appearance of a
triangle within a triangle. This is at a place by the sea called Looe.
(Pronounced Loo) And I have a day in Looe.

(72) Not A Full Chess Set.

I have got myself stuck under this rail. I thought that I could
squeeze under it on my back, but now I am stuck here. It is dark
outside now and I need help, like quick! I panic a little at my
restricted position. I think that Bob will shed some light on this
situation.

I have just been shopping. I think that I have got a chocolate chess
set now. I am not sure if it is a chess set because the chess pieces
are all represented by different things. I think that the pawn
pieces are shaped like sperm and I have been wondering what the
other chess pieces are represented by with their wondrous
shapes. There are white chocolate and milk chocolate pieces in
this box packaging and I have bought one box out of curiosity.
Well the thing is that one chocolate chess piece had fallen out of
its box packaging in the shop and so I ate it. So as I am stuck here
under this rail hoping that Bob will help me to get free soon, I am
also concerned that I have not got a full chess set.

14-5-18

(73) That Trick Shot Is Not Interesting Anymore.

There is this bloke doing a trick shot on a pool table. I am watching
him with my dad. In flash frames of a camera vision that I have,
the balls move around the table. This bloke who does these trick
shots tells us where he is going to put the white cue ball after his
shot. With so much back spin on the cue ball the cue ball goes to
where this bloke says. In one frame shot the green baize on the
pool table has gone completely. There is just a rough dark brown
terrain of pit marks and holes in the table. Then things get
ridiculous:

We go outside into the carpark/driveway and this bloke does his

trick shots on this carpark/driveway around a little roundabout
flower bed that is in the middle of this carpark/driveway. My dad
gives me a whistle. He tells me to blow this whistle to get things
started. "I'm a whistleblower" I say enthusiastically just before I
blow the whistle and then after I blow the whistle, with speed,
this bloke runs around the carpark/driveway, around the
roundabout flowerbed with his cue knocking his white cue ball
along as he is running, but then it starts to get a bit boring, I start
to lose interest after that. Suddenly these trick shots do not do
anything for me.

15-5-18

(74) Troubled Colin And The Dick Song.

I have got this rude song. It has got into the charts and I am
supposed to be singing it around peoples houses. I am supposed
to go up to peoples front door and sing it with my dick out.

I go over to the Batkin's house. Those neighbours across the road,

but for some reason I cannot do it. So then I look for a safe place
to sing this song with my dick out. A place maybe behind a bush,
where no one else will find me. So then I go over to this
overgrown waste ground when I see Colin working on a path with
big grey slabs. He is busy buffing these slabs up with a buffing
machine. Without looking up Colin says to me, "Can you give it a
shave?"

"What the path?" I ask back and I start to laugh. "Have you been
working too hard?" I joke with him. With that he realises that it is
me. He carries on working busily and he says,

"I'm up for manslaughter" I can see that he is obviously concerned

about this.

"Don't worry about it" I reassure him thinking to myself silently

that this is typical of Colin and that he is always getting himself
into trouble.

The Dick Song

My dick is hanging out

And I'm shaking it about.
I don't know what they think,
But I give the girls a wink.

My dick is hanging out

I sing and then I shout:
"I like to wave it in the air
Cos I don't fucking care!"

My dick is hanging out

For that there is no doubt.
I wiggle it around
 Until I am found.
Cos I don't fucking care
It's just another dare,
But I am really sound
And I am fucking found.

My dick is hanging out

My dick is hanging out
My dick is hanging out!

16-5-18

(75) Busker Adi.

I use my own equipment to travel around here in this beautiful
county of Devon. I use my own equipment to sing and to play
guitar in the streets of the towns here in this shire of Devon.

And I meet those people who greet me. They make my work so
good. As we interact we have so much to say. As we all go about
our way with a pick in my hand and a guitar to play. Making my
music in this merry month of May.

Yes, I use my own equipment to travel around here in this

beautiful county of Devon. Yes, I use my own equipment to sing
and to play guitar in the streets of the towns here in this shire of
Devon.

(76) How To Feed Your Head.

I am given some eating out advice, of what to eat and what not to
eat from someone in the know, potatoes veg and gravy. We work
out a deal and I take notes. I am always ready to receive good
advice. There is more to this than that, but it has all gone right out
of my head. There is more to this than that, but for the life of me I
cannot remember just exactly what has been said.

(77) My Standards.
She does not know how to use apostrophes. I would not want a
girl like that. I would feel like a care worker for someone with L.D.
(learning disabilities) I would like a girl who's special, but she'd
have to know a lot. I need to find a girl who can stimulate my
mind. If she's useless at grammar then she's probably not for me
and if she cannot spell, well then she's certainly not for me. I need
to have my standards. I do not wish to be unkind. So it's not
surprising that I'm single and that girl I cannot find.

17-5-18

(78) Hanging Around.

She is an old pro. She is always on stage. In her best South West
accent she enters into banter with the compare. She is kind of
used to this by now. I do not know exactly what she says, but she
is confident. Her replies are well paced and I sense that this is all
great fun to her.

I am chatting with Dave and he says that he has been locked out.
"I told you that earlier. I've told everyone that. No one ever
listens." He goes on to tell me in a slightly pissed off sort of way.
'So what am I supposed to do then?' I think to myself and
subsequently I do nothing. I just hang around doing nothing.
I sense that there is a cat around here somewhere and I believe
that it is a ginger tom. For some inexplicable reason, although I
cannot see it, I can feel the presence of this cat. I think that it
must be hiding from me somewhere, but I do not know why.

(79) So Thoughtful.
There is this woman with children and a lion. "Why do you choose
to have a lion around your children?" I ask her curiously.

"It's my job." She replies. "Have you never worked with lions
yourself?" She enquires.

"Yes I have, but I am always so unsure about how safe a lion is,
because sometimes when they appear a little restless. If they were
to attack you then it would be too late, you would not stand a
chance." I tell her all this out of concern for her and her children.

I have recently been watching her and her children jumping

around, up in the air, in her front garden. I notice that the lion has
gone. 'How much better is that? How much safer are we all now?
And what a welcome relief that is!' And so these are my thoughts.

(80) Deep Blue Baby.

Under my watchful eye these infants are looked after. In the
reflection of this white sunlight. In their little buggies they become
blue as we walk these reflective city streets. I paint these infants
as it gives them some protection from this big old sun. I paint
these infants blue just like I have done before. It is the responsible
thing for me to do , for that I am quite sure.

In this reflective city it is all so brilliant and white, as the sun

reflects off this city a brilliant sort of light. We paint these infants
as it gives them some protection from this big old sun. We paint
these infants blue just like we have done before. It is the
responsible thing for us to do , for that we are quite sure. In this
reflective city that is what this blue paint is for.

18-5-18

(81) I Make Myself Known.

Philip Duffy is as confident as ever, but one morning his parents do
not get him up for school. He has to get himself up on this
particular day.

For some reason I make out that I do not know Philip. We never
speak much anyway, but this particular day I make the effort to tell
him that I do not know him, "Who are you?" I ask him.

There is this big chunky wooden pole that stands proud out of this
concrete ground. I give it a good bashing and it shudders in the
ground and becomes loose. I knock it to the foundations just as I
get into Philips way. I do not make allowances for him and he has
to avoid me or I will knock into him as I extend my presence, as I
get in his way. He WILL know that I am here!

(82) A Beautiful Old Song.

We are all there my family and I. Someone puts on a recording of
a David Bowie album, but this one is special. There is the
recording of someone else since deceased on this Bowie album. In
a song so sociable, in a sound so sincere, as we get those 70's
feelings about the past that has gone so far away. The essence
that this song captures is in a strikingly beautiful way. And so it
takes us back, my family and I, as we get down into those times
that have since gone by. Captured in a song is a mood that only
dreams could ever find, with all those beautiful old feelings that
people leave behind. And so we leave it there with the love of my
past. Listening to nostalgia of a time that went so fast.

19-5-18

(83) I Wait In Expectation.

Although I sing from a bus stop, I lie here so low. Someone else
took off and I do not want them to show. There will be danger if
we ever meet. So I lie here in a shelter, hidden on this street. I
expect they may return as I lie here so still. Deep in these dark
shadows I am ready to kill!

I Wait In Expectation.

Although I sing from a bus stop,

I lie here so low.
Someone else took off
and I do not want them to show.
There will be danger
if we ever meet.
So I lie here in a shelter,
hidden on this street.
I expect they may return
as I lie here so still.
Deep in these dark shadows
I am ready to kill!
(84) What Does She Want From Me?
I am waiting for a good time to meet up under a hole in the sky,
when it all comes together. I try to work it out like that, but it does
not always come true.

I am driving home late at night and in my mirror I see a Rolls Royce

behind me. It is black and white and it has a big shiny chrome grill
in the front. I turn into my home lane and it catches me up. When
a man and a black lady dressed in fine cloth jumps out of this car.
She says that she would like to see me when it is convenient to
meet up. So I tell her that I will hang around tomorrow for when
she is free, as I am intrigued to find out just what this woman
wants from me.

20-5-18

(85) Access And Joy From The Elder.

I am here with Sharon Taylor. There is so much trouble. Things do
not go to plan in this care environment. There are people pulling
rank. I make my case:

"Look, I act to the best of my ability. There is no crime in my heart.

I have only ever acted out for the best. For the best interests. I
have acted out, out of love. If you want to shop me then go ahead.
If you want to make a case against me then go ahead, but I will
fight this all the way!"

This outburst of a speech seems to quell things a little. The

accusations against me appear to be somewhat quoshed, but
dispite this there are still problems.

I find myself in a room. It is the room of the green triangular

wallpaper and the flashing bright white light. My vision is flashing
on and off in this room with this wallpaper of checked green
triangles that has a white background flashing on and off. It is
strange because when my vision flashes off everything is a brilliant
white light. It is like a flicker of random timings from this green
triangular wall paper room to this brilliant white light. I have not
been well but this wallpaper is thereputic. This room is to help me
find my health in the intermitance of my awareness of this special
place that brightens me up inside. I am told that this all comes
courtesy of the Elder. Thank you Elder.
(86) Morning Glory.
I see Andrea after she visits the health clinic. We have a chat and
she needs her medication. I take the script and I tie it to my boot
laces so that I do not lose it and it flaps around my boots when I
walk.

There is a room full of models. Each model represents a county

that I have travelled to. These models depict the characteristics of
that county that it represents. There are holes in the models for
information to travel through. I see the model for Yorkshire and it
has its Yorkshire accent. It is like a little model building with
sweeping driveways and three tunnels to these driveways to put
your hands inside to transceive your information.

I see another woman called Sam. I see her in bed and I join her
there. She is so cute and cozy, but I go straight to sleep because I
like to have morning sex when I wake up from my slumber.
(87) So Sure.
I am on a hillside, as I drive my car up and I park myself away from
the road on this sideway. I have my freedom. I have total freedom.
I find a way in which to play my guitar that does not distract me.
That does not take me away. And these people, they love me.
Deep in the centre of my mind I find these people and that is what
makes me so sure.

21-5-18

(88) Careful With What I Do.

I am playing music in public. I am cautious to get the right volume,
but then I switch it off because there is other music playing in the
room.

I see my sister Maz and she shows me some photos of her fishing
and some of her catches. I show dad these photos. I am surprised
that dad has not seen these photos before. I am surprised that
Maz has not shown dad these photos. I am beginning to wonder if
Maz wanted me to show these photos to dad as Maze is now
compelled to explain these photos to dad as he looks through
them.

I casually look through some postage stamps that I have collected.

I decide that I will display the definitive stamps in a stamp book
and present them correctly. I draw on my cigarette, but the filter
has been 'bog washed' as we say. It is wet with my saliva and so I
am dissatisfied with how much smoke that I inhale.
22-5-18

(89) Very Becoming.

I am discovering how we connect when we touch each other. This
is beyond the scope of the perceptions of an earthly experience
and so I cannot elaborate on this any further, as there is no earthly
frame of reference to my astral insights that leave me in
wakefulness.

I crawl under a road sign in the grass. I crawl under this road sign
that is held up by two posts in the ground. I crawl between these
two posts and I get shitted up to the elbows, but I do not make a
fuss. I find some water. I find a body of water that laps in and I
carefully wash myself down without getting myself too washed up.
I am also aware of a woman in the background watching me as I
wash my arms down, up to my elbows. She makes me more
conscious than I would otherwise be. I imagine what she might
think of me as I clean myself up and so I become a part of her just
as she has become a part of me.

24-5-18

(90) Just A Jacket.

I meet Janet and we socialise, but Janet is not happy with me. She
gives me some feedback on how I can improve my ways. I feel that
I have let Janet and myself down. I have missed out on what could
have been and I make my apologies to Janet. I do not know the
etiquette here. I do not know how to behave. When I meet the
ladies do we hug? Do we kiss on the cheek?

I put a small bottle drink in my jacket pocket. I take my jacket off. It

is like I am aware of of two women. It is as if I mirror two women.
One woman is with the jacket off and the other woman is with the
jacket on. The jacket off has a ghostly appearance of a woman. In
fact she is not a woman at all. She is just a jacket. She is just a
shadow, a shadow of the woman with the jacket on.

25-5-18

(91) Parked Up And Speeding.

I see this bloke driving his car. He is wearing a blue denim jacket.
He is off his head! As I walk the street he drives slowly and I watch
him. It looks as if he is rolling up a cigarette as he drives along. He
does not look where he is going and then at the last minute he
corrects his steering.

He is parked up against a brick wall now, on the path that I walk

down. He is so unpredictable. I feel that he is likely to run me over.
I am cautious as I walk around his car with its engine running. I
think that he is taking drugs. He appears to be oblivious to
anything around him as he concentrates on something that he is
doing inside his car. Snorting coke probably!

26-5-18

(92) Flotsom And Jetsom.

Lisa goes through her set of songs, but there are some songs that
she cannot find. There are some songs that have slipped her mind.
Sunk into the depths. There are some songs hidden away. As she
fishes out these songs here her acoustic guitar she does play. "And
it is unpredictable." I hear her sing away.
There are some songs that she cannot find. They have swam right
out of her mind. With a set of songs beside the sea, but some
have gotten away. So where have these songs gone? There are
some songs tucked away. "And it is unpredictable." I hear Lisa say.
So it maybe that those songs have just floated away.

(93) A Default.
It is amazing how many coincidences there are. As I make my way
around the cliff top path to dig my heels into the loose soil of this
earth's cliff edge. I listen to a commentary of a woman:

"It is said that the nearest blonde woman will die if secrets are
divulged. Some secrets have been divulged and a woman in the
next room in Scandinavia is shot in the head. She is a blonde this is
true" I wonder to myself, who fired that bullet? The bullet is tiny
but the devastation is real and complete.

So as I navigate this cliff's edge I notice how the trees have been
set. How the trees have been cut back and the shadows that fall
across this cliff's edge path through those tree stumps that remain
and the coincidences are remarkable. How everything falls
together as I risk my life along this cliff's path edge. The
coincidences are astounding as they reveal themselves to me, a
geological truth of fault lines that cross here and so things will
happen how they do.

27-5-18

(94) Reflections Of A Man.

I meet a man who says that he is going for demon treatment. He is
very open about this. He is cheerful and his actions appear
positive, but he seems strange. His eyes are unusual. I seem to
think that I have met this man before. I have a vague memory that
he has told me about the demons in his mind before, only this
time my jaw is shaking uncontrollably and my teeth are chattering
and rattling together. I want to stop this. I want to stop my jaw
from shaking and my teeth from chattering and rattling together.
Then there are those chills down my spine as I reflect upon this
man. This is how this man affects me and It is all very
disconcerting.

(95) People! Pee Pole!

There is a woman, who I would not recognise, with big curly
ginger hair who I used to work with. She tells me that she is in a
new position within that same job and that she has had her hair
done. She wears glasses that look like shades. Somehow she has
contacted me. She has connected to me and she tells me that she
knows me. I see her from time to time walking home from work
along the path, but I never get a chance to speak to her.
I am on my push bike as I notice her from behind. She is walking
along the path on her way home from work on the opposite side
of the road. She never seems to notice me though and I only ever
see her briefly, as I make my way home. I turn off down the road
to where I live and she carries on, straight on along the main road
to where she lives.

Now I am in this old building. I would like some space please.

There are always people around me and I feel the need to
distance myself from them in order to reconnect and to explore
deep within myself. I go to the far reaches of this building, but
there is always someone there. I go out into the garden. I look for
a private space, a place in this garden where I can go, but there
are neighbours out in their garden next door. I want to rearrange
my cock, but there are people everywhere. I search for a little
privacy, but there are always people about and I do not want to
give the wrong impression.

28-5-18

(96) Me-And-Her, And Him.

This is all about Direction, Timing and Flow. We decide where we
want to go. We decide when to do it and then we just go with it
avoiding the obstacles along the way. As Direction, Timing and
Flow we navigate those crowds of people. We meander through
those city streets. We meander through those crowds of people,
me-and-her, and him; Direction, Timing and Flow.
29-5-18

(97) An Astrological Skyscape.

We are looking up at the sky with Venus in Libra. "How much
better this sky looks than those bluish sky alignments in March."
Says this unknown man to me.

As I look up at the sky I ask this man, "What colour is that sky?"
Knowing full well that the sky is in three shades of light red, with
all the planets, stars and galaxies pencilled in. I would just like
some conformation about this.

I am wandering around looking up at this spectacle in the sky. I am

in wonderment. I am wandering around looking up at this
astrological display and I am in awe of this alignment today.

30-5-18

(98) Travel Disruptions.

I am all about building up connectivity. Finding the best ways to
move on smoothly without too much fuss. It feels like I wait here
forever for a connection to take me home. I got an ambulance to
get here, but it is all quiet now as I listen to peoples conversations.
I am here with my girlfriend and we do not speak about this delay
in my travels. You see she will not be travelling with me on my
next journey and so we have more time together. The longer that I
wait with her for this connection to take me off, then the longer
that we are together. So patiently I enjoy the company that I keep
with her, but I am getting nowhere fast here.

31-5-18
(99) A Balloon Slapping Time.
There are some creatures that are similar to lions except for the
fact that they have big heavy balloon bits that they slap down
onto the ground. It is like a huge heavy inflatable balloon that
these lion looking creatures lift up and then smash down onto the
ground in order to mark their domain. We avoid these creatures.
They have us wandering around avoiding them and sometimes we
slap down a large heavy balloon type thing that echoes through
this greenhouse like environment. We do this to move these lion
looking creatures on. My boss Matt is here and he is supervising
this area. I need to negotiate my way around this greenhouse
environment with my boss as we avoid these lion type creatures if
we are to survive here.

(100) Secrecies And Lies.

I talk to people and all my different groups of friends I use a
different language within a language. I use a different way to hide
my communication so that I will not reveal too much. I go around
to Spud's house and he is in bed with his woman. We all have a
chat and I am struck by his woman's communication. As she leans
over Spud in their bed, she is not so pretty but she has an
attractiveness and kindness within her communication. I have to
mask my communication when I speak to her. Somehow I keep
much to myself. I see Spud's brother and again I use a different
language within a language so that I do not reveal anything to
anyone who may overhear me. Spud tells me that he needs to go
out and that he will not be long. He tells me to hold on here and
then Spuds brother says something, but he slurs his words. "Shit! I
will have to be even quicker now!" Spud suddenly exclaims and
rushes off. I do not know what this is all about and no one tells
me, because their communication is masked and they hide so
much as they do not want to reveal too much either.

My favorite verses for May:

56,58,59,67,71,72,incomplete.

____________________________________________________

June 2018

____________________________________________________

(101) Pillocking About On The Railway.

(102) Engaging.
(103) Out Of Control.
(104) Nothing Better To Do?
(105) Abba’s New Song.
(106) I've Been Burgled!”
(107) A Delightful Candelabra.
(108) I Find My Slot.
(109) Boiling Over.
(110) Just Me And A Bumblebee.
(111) A Bad Job.
(112) She Is Kind And I Am So Dumb.
(113) Somewhat The Grey.
(114) Obtrexity.
(115) Plastic Food.
(116) Looking For Lisa.
(117) To Play The Ocean.
(118) Unreal!
(119) As He Goes On.
(120) That Is Okay.
(121) Down By The Cove.
(122) Tracey.
(123) Negotiate.
(124) This Is Where I Live Now.
(125) To Declare Or Not To Declare, That Is The Question.
(126) The Things That She Had To Say.
(127) To Know Yourself.
(128) I Hear Voices!
(129) About You.
(130) A Journey To Thee.
(131) "You're a D.F!"
(132) "She's Not Alan's!"

1-6-18

(101) Pillocking About On The Railway.

There are three of us working on the railway. We are all on this
train and everything keeps going wrong. The train is late or the
train is early. The train has to go back because we forgot
something and we all have a good laugh about this.

One of my railway companions gets very theatrical and passionate

about his expressions. I watch him as he folds himself up. Then he
unfolds himself out along the train track. He then dissects himself
up into chunks and stacks himself up high with a black top hat on,
resting on the top. "We go weird!" I exclaim with excitement to
someone looking on as if they would not know this by now.

There are other train drivers on the railway who are pillocking
about also. They say one thing and do another. I hear talk that
they are going to get a super fast train to beat those pillocking
train drivers at their own game. They will charge off through the
railway system with their super fast train at the very last second
and surprise those stupid train drivers with a last second burst
through the signals on the line. “That will show them!”

2-6-18

(102) Engaging.
There are three talks on tonight and there are three different
women who divide these three talks with their presence. I look at
these women and I note their differences.

The last woman is chatty. She is lively as she smiles and interacts.
She has neat blonde hair to her shoulder and a pretty face. She is
young and attractive as she socialises.

I look forward to these talks tonight, but it is the difference and

the division between these talks that I am most interested in.

(103) Out Of Control.

I tell Dave that I like to drive my car out of control. I get my car to
the top of a grassy hill and I let the car go as I hold on to the
outside of the car, just to see where I end up. Hopefully not in
hospital. So then we both have a go at this. Dave’s white van ends
up behind a garage out of sight and after a fast descent down the
grassy hill I end up going round and round in circles holding on to
the side of my car until it rolls to a stop. This is so much fun and
we are laughing uncontrollably.
3-6-18

(104) Nothing Better To Do?

I try to hide the bootmark on the white internal door that I just
kicked open. I lick my finger and rub the sole print on the white
door and I watch it fade away with every rub.

Later as we all dos out in a room, me and my mates we sprawl out

on the furniture. "Why are they trying to sell watches to men?!"
One of my friends exclaims to the television as if the TV is under
scrutiny. As if the TV is on trial for the adverts that it shows.
“Maybe they think that us men have nothing much to do.”

"Yeah well that’ll be right." I retort in a disinterested sort of way.

4-6-18

(105) Abba’s New Song.

I am queuing up in a line outside what I believe to be a swimming
pool. There are two lines of people next to each other. I am aware
that those people in the queue opposite me have Alan keys to
open transparent tubes that come out from their stomachs. I
decide to leave the queue and I walk off but I can hear some really
nice music. It turns out to be Abba who have just released a new
song. It has an excellent bass line to it, in a laid back reggae style
of music. I discover that this music is coming from the sports hall
where people are performing to this music. Wow! A new song
from Abba and it sounds great!
(106) I've Been Burgled!
There was a young woman with dark long hair. I have been asked
what she looks like because they want to identify her. But that is
just it, she has long dark hair and she had a power tool!

I go back to my house. I cannot remember which house I live in

and it takes me a while to realise that I live in the house with the
front window taken out! ‘This does not look good.’ I think to
myself. I peer into the house through the window less hole in the
wall. I see that all the cupboard doors are left open wide. Maybe I
should see the police and get a crime number for this incident, but
I really cannot be bothered.

5-6-18

(107) A Delightful Candelabra.

This lad plays a guitar solo to me. “Don’t tell anyone. ” He says. I
guess that he should be working on his music project on his own. I
am not sure about his guitar solo. He plays his guitar solo a second
time and I realise that it is meant to be played slow. It is more like
a saxophone solo played on guitar.

"Yeah I get it now." I tell him. It is not the sort of guitar solo that I
would make up, but it is okay.

"Don't tell anyone." He instructs me again in an eager voice, as if

he thinks that I might blab it out to everyone that I have helped
him.

"I'll not say anything." I reassure him. As we are walking away

there is a piano with some lighted candles that have been placed
on the closed lid that covers the piano keys. Without knowing it
this lad gets his shirt next to the candle flame. I give him a shove. I
push him off. "Set yourself on fire if you want to mate!" I tell him
as I make light of this situation, but he does not make anything of
it.

6-6-18

(108) I Find My Slot.

I look for a place to park my songs. I have three new guitar songs
that I have just written. I find a convenient place beside a wall
where there are no double yellow lines. I place these songs there.
They just fit in there nicely and so that is where I leave them.

7-6-18

(109) Boiling Over.

I see Graham at work. Graham is very stressed. He rushes around.
He shouts out loud at his work colleagues for getting in the way.
"There is not much room here and we all have our jobs to do." I
tell him, but Graham goes off the deep end. He shouts and rages.
With passion he expresses his irritation. He used to be so patient,
but not now. He is just an arse now.
8-6-18

(110) Just Me And A Bumblebee.

It is me and a bee, we travel around. We are looking for jobs to do
to pay for our college tuition.

"We are just looking for jobs to do, is an excuse to make some
money to pay for our college education."

Then I think, 'I hope that no one heard me say that. I might sound
ungrateful for the work that we do get.'

So it is just me and a bumblebee who follows me around

everywhere. She used to be my sister in a previous life, but now
she just buzzes around like a stripey dot in the air. She is even
more snotty now. Now that she is a bumblebee!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Just Me And A Bumblebee.

It is me and a bee,
we travel around free.
We are looking for jobs to do
 to pay for our college tuition.

"We are just looking for jobs to do,

is an excuse to
make some money to
pay for our college education."

Then I think,
'I hope that no one heard me say that.
I might sound ungrateful
for the work that we do get.'

So it is just me and a bumblebee

who follows me around everywhere.
She used to be my sister in a previous life,
but now she just buzzes around like a stripey dot in the air.

She is even more snotty now.

Now that she is a bumblebee!

(111) A Bad Job.

This lad has taken me with him to this woman's house. He is doing
some painting and decorating there. He has asked me to make
some mugs of tea. The lady who owns this house has shown me
where the tea bags and kettle and things are, but I am struggling.
What is wrong with me? I just cannot make a mug of tea. It goes
to mud and so I think that I cannot give him that. I keep trying to
make him a mug of tea, but I end up throwing it away. I finally
think that I have made a good mug of tea for him and then I
realise that it has taken me so long to make that it has gone cold. I
am surprised that he is not complaining. I should have made him a
mug of tea hours ago. If he offers me any money for helping him
today then I will give him the money straight back. I am useless!

9-6-18

(112) She Is Kind And I Am So Dumb.

Life has sped up too fast, as time goes by so quickly. Lisa is kind to
me and I am so dumb. I try to speak my mind, but my words are
so clumsy, but she does not judge me for this.

There are these sea creatures. Human hybrids between seals and
sharks that we left for dead. They are now healthy and free saved
by our intervention. These animals are like people. They reflect so
much humanity to us as they watch us and we can see something
of ourselves in them.

Lisa and I we scale the dizzy heights of this building and she tells
me that she has known me since 2013. We marvel at how fast this
time has gone by. We negotiate a difficult transfer from an iron
ladder to a concrete block platform. She laughs as she is stuck in
this iron stair well. Like a plug she sets herself free. Like a plug she
pulls herself out from this tight fitting stairwell.

Lisa is kind to me and I am so dumb. She does not deserve

someone as dumb as me hanging around with her and this is why I
love her so much you see.

10-6-18
(113) Somewhat The Grey.
I feel myself as a small skinny light grey alien. I am something else
as well, but that something else whatever it is leaves me
somewhat. That something else that is darker and larger and more
substantial, leaves me to become more of that small skinny light
grey alien. Who comes out as himself, as an aspect of myself from
such deep love, deep within my soul somewhat.

Somewhat The Grey.

I feel myself
as a small skinny light grey alien.
I am something else as well,
 but that something else whatever it is
leaves me somewhat.
That something else that is darker
and larger and more substantial,
leaves me to become more of that
small skinny light grey alien,
who comes out as himself,
as an aspect of myself
from such deep love,
deep within my soul
somewhat.

11-6-18

(114) Obtrexity.
For some reason I have a clash of perceptual experience with
someone else uninvitingly. Within his box of perceptual delights. I
pass by through it all refracted. Which alters the visual effect in a
most mysterious way. This puts a few thoughts out there, but it is
a really nice effect.

Then someone starts using obscure voice sounds, but I can read
right through these sounds and I decipher them completely. They
are not so mysterious to me and reveals a gay tendency in that
person who does not know how much they are revealing about
themselves. I am given the word 'Obtrexity.'

12-6-18

(115) Plastic Food.

There is too much plastic. I cook a meal only to find plastic in it. I
even find a plastic cooker with a place to put three triple A
batteries in it and this is in my food! There is so much concern
about plastic in the food that I cook that there is an inquiry into
this.

13-6-18

(116) Looking For Lisa.

There are places where I go where I find Lisa when I want her. I
search through my mind to find her standing there. Just the way
that I want her to be. Just the place where I like her to be. She
stands there looking pretty you see. I search through and she
stands there so true. A picture so pretty. A pleasure to view and
she is so sexy too.
Looking For Lisa.
 There are places where I go where I find Lisa when I want her.
I search through my mind to find her standing there.
Just the way that I want her.
Just the place where I like her to be.
She stands there looking pretty you see.
I search through my mind and she stands there so true.
As pretty as a picture.
A pleasure to view
and she is so sexy too. <3

15-6-18

(117) To Play The Ocean.

I play my guitar and I practice an unusual bar chord. The sky is
grey and the rain comes down and floods me out. This bar chord
makes me play my guitar like I have a disability. I feel like a spastic.
Then it is as if the sky becomes the ocean. In an instant I am under
an emense body of water. WOW! This is some bar chord to be
able to do that!

D maj 7 sus 4 bar chord:

e 3+n
b 2+n
g 2+n
d 0+n
ax
Ex

n
0 ---> D
1 ---> D#/Eb
2 ---> E
3 ---> F
4 ---> F#/Gb
5 ---> G
6 ---> G#/Ab
7 ---> A
8 ---> A#/Bb
9 ---> B
10 ---> C
11 ---> C#/Db
12 ---> D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chord Sequence 1
Bm Em D A
Bm Em D A

Am Dm C G
Am Dm C G

Chord Sequence 2
EGAB
EGAB

D# D C A
D# D C A

riff:
eeggaaa#a#
eeggaaa#a#
aaccddd#d#
aaccddd#d#

16-6-18

(118) Unreal!
I see a foot. It is not a real foot. It is a cartoon foot and it is buried
in this cartoon ground. I see the cross section through the ground
and I believe this foot to be mine. I tilt my leg forward and I tell
myself that it is difficult to do this as my joint on the top of my
foot aches when I tilt my leg forward. 'Why is my leg in this
cartoon?' I am suddenly wondering to myself. 'And why is my
cartoon foot buried under a cartoon ground of soil?' I think that I
may have planted myself here!

Unreal!

I see a foot.
It is not a real foot.
It is a cartoon foot.
 It is buried within this cartoon ground.
I see the cross section through this ground.

I believe this foot to be mine.

I tilt my leg forward.
I tell myself that it is difficult to do this
as my joint on the top of my foot
aches when I tilt my leg forward.

I am suddenly wondering to myself,

'Why is my leg in this cartoon?'
'And why is my cartoon foot buried
under a cartoon ground of soil?'

I think that I may have planted myself here!

17-6-18

(119) As He Goes On.

My dad is embracing me. There are three of us. There is also this
lad who I used to work with many years ago. He hangs around us
in silence. I reach into my pocket as I remember about some
change that I got today. "Have you seen this new ten pound coin?"
I ask them and I reveal a heavy silver coin with a serrated edge.
There is also two shades of green within the markings of this coin.
My dad eagerly takes this coin and he inspects it well.

"Shit!" He exclaims as he looks hard into the design. I get the

impression that this coin means something very deep to him and
that I can only guess at the revelation that it reveals to him. My
dad has a military persona about himself here. He goes on to talk
intently and yet there is a subtlety that I do not understand about
him as he goes on talking and he does go on.

As He Goes On.

My dad is embracing me.

There are three of us.
There is also this lad
who I used to work with many years ago.
He hangs around us in silence.

I reach into my pocket

as I remember about some change that I have gotten today.
"Have you seen this new ten pound coin?" I ask them
and I reveal a heavy silver coin with a serrated edge.
There are two shades of green
within the markings of this coin.

My dad eagerly takes this coin

and he inspects it well.
"Shit!" He exclaims
as he looks hard into its design.
I get the impression that this coin means something,
something very deep to him
and that I can only guess at the revelation,
this revelation that it reveals to him.

My dad has a military persona about himself here.

He goes on to talk intently
and yet there is a subtlety
that I do not understand about him
as he goes on talking
 and he does go on.

18-6-18

(120) That Is Okay.

I get back with my ex from when I was a teenager or that is how it
feels like to me. Except that she is not my ex really she is another
woman entirely who lives in a much different county from where I
used to live as a teenager. And I am not exactly going out with her.
She is not my girlfriend as such, but she is a good friend of mine
and I do have a crush on her. She like my ex has had her children
with someone else and they have all grown up now. I am in my
fifties now. I have missed out on all of that family life of watching
your children as they grow up, but that is okay. I have extricated
myself from all of that part of humanity for many years until now,
because I feel that I have suddenly dropped back into a family life
that I have never really known before. Into a life that I have always
avoided, but that is okay.

19-6-18

(121) Down By The Cove.

I have some sort of scam going. Being so close to the sea and
everything. I deal in a few illegalities. We have covert operations
down by the cove. Down at the bottom of my bed in the portal of
my room. In the dreamscape of my mind. There is a pathway that
lights up through the green leaves along the trees down to the sea
that laps upon the sandy shore. We have this thing going. There
are deals. It is all hush hush. There is a lot of secrecy around all of
this and I do not want to let on to too much here, but we have
some treasure and we have some beer and I have a woman who I
hold dear ; )

Down By The Cove.

I have some sort of scam going.

Being so close to the sea and everything.
I deal in a few illegalities.
We have covert operations down by the cove.
Down at the bottom of my bed
in the portal of my room.
In the dreamscape of my mind.

There is a pathway that lights up

through the green leaves along the trees
down to the sea that laps upon the sandy shore.
We have this thing going.
There are deals.
It is all hush hush.

There is a lot of secrecy around all of this

and I do not want to let on to too much here,
but we have some treasure
and we have some beer
and I have a woman who I hold dear ; )

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sea Shanty written by Adi Cox:
This version is in C#m, with a capo on the fourth fret:

Down By The Cove.

Intro:
g# e f# c#, g# e f#, g# e f# c#, g# d# b c#
e|4 _ _ _ _ 4 _ _ _ 4 _ _ _ _ 4 _ _ _
B|_ 5 7 _ _ _ 5 7 _ _ 5 7 _ _ _ 4 _ _
G|_ _ _ 6 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 6 _ _ _ 4 6
D|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
E|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Verse 1:]
[Am]I have a [D]scam going[C]
[Am]Being so close to the [D]sea[C]
[Am]I deal in illi[D]galities[C]
[Am]Some interest to [D]me

[Chorus:]
[Dm]Down by the [G]shoreline
[Dm]Down by the [G]cove
[Dm]Down by the [G]coastal path [A]

[Verse 2:]
[Am]There is a [D]pathway[C]
[Am]That lights up the [D]trees[C]
[Am]Along to the [D]sandy shore where[C]
[Am]Where no one [D]sees

[Chorus:]
[Dm]Down by the [G]shoreline
[Dm]Down by the [G]cove
[Dm]Down by the [G]coastal path [A]

[Verse 3:]
[Am]We have some [D]treasure[C]
[Am]And we have some [D]beer[C]
[Am]And I have a [D]woman who[C]
[Am]I hold [D]dear

[Chorus:]
[Dm]Down by the [G]shoreline
[Dm]Down by the [G]cove
[Dm]Down by the [G]coastal path [A]

[Chorus 2:]
[Em]Down by the [A]shoreline
[Em]Down by the [A]cove
[Em]Down by the [A]coastal path [B]
[Em]La de da [A]de dar
[Em]La de da [A]dar
[Em]La de da [A]de dar dum [B][Em]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This version is without a capo, in Dm:

Down By The Cove.

Intro:
a f# g d a f# g a f# g d a e c d
e|5 _ _ _ _ 5 _ _ _ 5 _ _ _ _ 5 _ _ _
B|_ 6 8 _ _ _ 6 8 _ _ 6 8 _ _ _ 5 _ _
G|_ _ _ 7 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 7 _ _ _ 5 7
D|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
A|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
E|_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

[Verse 1:]
[Dm]I have a [G]scam going[F]
[Dm]Being so close to the [G]sea[F]
[Dm]I deal in illi[G]galities[F]
[Dm]Some interest to [G]me

[Chorus:]
[Gm]Down by the [C]shoreline
[Gm]Down by the [C]cove
[Gm]Down by the [C]coastal path [D]

[Verse 2:]
[Dm]There is a [G]pathway[F]
[Dm]That lights up the [G]trees[F]
[Dm]Along to the [G]sandy shore where[F]
[Dm]Where no one [G]sees

[Chorus:]
[Gm]Down by the [C]shoreline
[Gm]Down by the [C]cove
[Gm]Down by the [C]coastal path [D]

[Verse 3:]
[Dm]We have some [G]treasure[F]
[Dm]And we have some [G]beer[F]
[Dm]And I have a [G]woman who[F]
[Dm]I hold [G]dear
[Chorus:]
[Gm]Down by the [C]shoreline
[Gm]Down by the [C]cove
[Gm]Down by the [C]coastal path [D]

[Chorus 2:]
[Am]Down by the [D]shoreline
[Am]Down by the [D]cove
[Am]Down by the [D]coastal path [E]
[Am]La de da [D]de dar
[Am]La de da [D]dar
[Am]La de da [D]de dar dum [E][Am]

21-6-18

(122) Tracey.
How it all fits in. This has all been done before and so this is the
mould. This is the pattern that I use and I go with it. This is so
other worldly that I cannot explain it clearly. This is so 'out there'
that it is so 'not here.' Like some ethereal bus stop that I wait at
for the movement to begin. Everything falls into place in this
ethereal space that I trace out as I space out here.

(123) Negotiate.
I am walking along and I make my way over some grass from the
park to a path by the road when suddenly I notice a big double
decker bus facing me coming out of a tee junction over across the
road when this big bugs bunny cartoon character jumps up and
appears on the wind screen of this bus obscuring the bus driver's
view. My initial thought is, 'How does the bus driver see past
that?' When I suddenly realise that it is designed to make the bus
driver stop the bus, because this bus has advance warnings built
into it.

I then find myself squeezing through this tiny gap between a large
red pillar box and a stone wall. I am in two minds about whether I
should do this because the gap is tight and I am in danger of
getting stuck, but I have committed myself to squeeze through this
gap now. I panic a little as there is no guarantee that I will get
through here.

(124) This Is Where I Live Now.

I live in this old house. I go back to this house with a large dark
heavy wooden door. It is down the road from the pub on the
corner. I make sure that I get the right door and I get my brass key
out to let myself in. I sleep in the brown comfy chair next to the
dark wooden door that I let myself into. There is someone who
sleeps in the next room and I see that they have only half opened
their curtains and it has gone eleven in the morning. I guess that
they must be running late as I watch them sort something out
whilst they are sat in their comfy chair.

Later I find myself in a discussion with another resident here. I

cannot remember exactly what we discuss here, but she points to
this velcro tab on a cooler bag which is rainbow in colour, but not
a normal rainbow. At the bottom of this tab it is white which goes
to yellow, then there are some indecipherable colours in the
middle and then some bluey and purpley colours at the top of this
velcro tab. She points to the top of this tab and asks me, "What
colour is this?" I tell her that it is purple and she says, "We have
another Richard here. He doesn't know his colours either!"

"Well I am colour blind." I tell her in order to explain myself, whilst

feeling that I am missing out on something here and not
understanding what this conversation is all about.

22-6-18

(125) To Declare Or Not To Declare, That Is The Question.

I tell my sister Maz that I need some work on the disco. She tells
me that she can get some work from Ian. "Let me go and check
when I am free." I tell her.

"You will have to declare that you are living at home and so you
will have to pay tax." My sister warns me.

I think about what my sister tells me. "Yes I still want the work." I
confirm to her and so then we both go off in different directions. I
go to get my diary and she goes to get the information of the disco
work that she is giving away to me, but I am slightly miffed about
the tax thing. I have some deep thoughts about this, 'Is there any
way that I can avoid the burden of paying tax?' I wonder to myself
and I mull on this.

23-6-18

(126) The Things That She Had To Say.

For some reason this lass asked me to answer her phone for her
when it went off. Her friend spoke to me on this phone. We had all
only just recently met previously the day before. All three of us
had been out for a walk together. Of course this lass wanted to
know what her friend had spoken to me about on her phone and I
found it hard to tell her:

"We spoke for a while in a polite kind of way about this and that,
where it was at and what sort of day it had been. The things that
she had seen and what it all could mean about this and that and
where we are all at."

"We spoke for a while

in a polite kind of way
about this and that,
where it was at
and what sort of day it had been.
The things that she had seen
and what it all could mean
about this and that
and where we are all at."

24-6-18

(127) To Know Yourself.

I come free wheeling down the hillside road on my push bike. I
nearly make a wrong turn down this hill as I free wheel so fast. I
notice that my brake cable is nearly snapped. There are frays of
wire poking out of its plastic covering and these wires splay out all
over. "I really need to get this push bike in to be serviced." I tell
myself as it is nearly unrideable.

So I get back to my home and this place is very homely to me.

There are many people here who I live with. They are mainly older
women and young lads. I do like it here. I like the chaos and I like
the kindness of the people who live here. They make this my
home and the fact that I have my own room for privacy. I have my
own space away from everyone else. Where I can truly be myself
and where I can truly find myself.

I find myself deep within. Where no one else can go. This is my
space, this is my place. Somewhere only I can know. This is where I
find my peace. A place to feel at ease. Where a side of me drops
out of this world into a sanctity that is hidden. A side of me that
no one ever sees.

25-6-18

(128) I Hear Voices!

I hear a voice, "I am not for you." I hear Lisa tell me this. There is
no mistaking her South West, Devon accent. She tells me straight,
"I am not for you."

Then in another voice that I do not recognise, I hear the name

'Cary' or 'Kari' or some name like that. Who is 'Cary' or 'Kari' I
wonder to myself?

26-6-18

(129) About You.

I enter this competition to show off my guitar playing skills and to
show off those songs that I sing too. It is important to me that I
get things right here. It is important to me that I represent myself
correctly here and that my dreams are a true reflection of what I
truly feel about you.
28-6-18

(130) A Journey To Thee.

I am walking home late at night. I am behind two women who talk
loud as they walk along. They turn into a bus stop shelter and I
carry on. There is a little icy snow on the paving slabs that I walk
on, but most of the snow has melted.

I am by the sea now and the tide is high. Some of the pavement is
flooded and there are some offices deep in water. I grab hold of
this rail as I walk along the path and that rail falls off and spins into
a wheel. I run off and the spinning rail of a wheel follows me fast
from behind, until I go through a narrow gap and the spinning rail
of a wheel gets stuck hard with a clank!

I find myself climbing down this crane. I know that I should not be
doing this. I grip hard with my hands and like Spiderman I climb
down. It is as if I am climbing down for ages. I did not think that I
had been so high. I touch the ground near the top of this
incinerator and I feel the warmth from it and then it gets much
hotter as I pass over it.

Then I decide to fly like a spirit in the sky. There are workers all
around me, but no one looks at me. I recognize the energy of
someone who I do not know. I know their energy and yet I do not
know who they are. It is because I know their energy that that is
where I go to you see. Just me and thee. The energy that I know.

A Journey To Thee.
 I am walking home late at night.
I am behind two women
who talk loud as they walk along.
They turn into a bus stop shelter
and I carry on.
There is a little icy snow
on the paving slabs that I walk on,
but most of the snow has melted.

I am by the sea now

and the tide is high.
Some of the pavement is flooded
and there are some offices deep in water.
I grab hold of this rail
as I walk along the path
and that rail falls off
and spins into a wheel.
I run off
and the spinning rail of a wheel
follows me fast from behind,
until I go through a narrow gap
and the spinning rail of a wheel
gets stuck hard with a clank!

I find myself climbing down this crane.

I know that I should not be doing this.
I grip hard with my hands
and like Spiderman I climb down.
It is as if I am climbing down for ages.
I did not think that I had been so high.
I touch the ground
near the top of this incinerator
and I feel the warmth from it
 and then it gets much hotter
as I pass over it.

Then I decide to fly

like a spirit in the sky.
There are workers all around me,
but no one looks at me.
I recognize the energy
of someone who I do not know.
I know their energy
and yet I do not know who they are.
It is because I know their energy
that that is where I go to you see.
Just me and thee.
The energy that I know.

(131) "You're a D.F!"

I am watching a black and white Abbott and costello film from a
grave. They make me laugh and the grave stone that I am perched
on moves making a deep stoney grating sound. Lou Costello is up
a ladder. He finds a little door and he chisels it open. Then he finds
a slightly bigger door which he chisels open, so that the little door
is open within the slightly bigger door that has also been opened.
So this goes on and on until there is a big door with many doors
open within it, that get smaller and smaller, until it gets to the first
door that has been chiselled open.

Bud Abbott asks Lou Costello "What are you doing?" In a

suspicious tone and then qualifies his question to Costello by
saying, "You're a D.F!"
I laugh and I tell my girlfriend who is not watching this film, "He's
a dodgy fucker!" I tell her. "You know these old films are fucking
brilliant!" I inform her in a rather determined sort of way, as I am
still amused with this film that has just finished. My girlfriend just
looks across to me from the kitchen as she is drying some dishes
with a tea towel. She is not really interested and she says nothing.

30-6-18

(132) "She's Not Alan's!"

There is a lass on this train that I like. She has some thumping
good tunes that she sings to and that she raps to. I watch her
stand up from her seat and she takes to the isle of the train to get
off at this station where we have stopped at. 'I hope that this song
that she plays, plays on into the station where she gets off.' I tell
myself. She is a big black woman. An African woman in colourful
African clothes.

I feel awkward. I tell this bloke, "I fancy that woman that Alan
likes." 'Should I have said that?' I wonder to myself as soon as I
have said it.

"You go for her." This bloke encourages me.

"Yes, it's not like she's Alan's girlfriend, is she." I retort whilst
thinking deeply about this situation. I wonder if this bloke will
secretly tell Alan what I have just said.

The woman who Alan fancies is a black woman also, but she is
slim and dignified, just like her friend. Maybe there is a twin thing
going on here, but I still prefer the one that Alan likes. Both of
them are very nice, but that one that Alan likes is the better one.
____________________________________________________

July 2018

____________________________________________________

(133) Jumble Room.

(134) My Reading.
(135) A New Buy.
(136) A Dry Water Drought.
(137) He Is The Star, Not Me.
(138) Received Help.
(139) However.
(140) Babylon's Burning, But Silently.
(141) In Anticipation.
(142) In Need Of A Piss.
(143) The Dealer.
(144) A Boo Boo!
(145) OK Computer.
(146) A Voice That Moves You.
(147) Daft Twat!
(148) Heatwave, Torbay, Devon 2018.
(149) Float On By.
(150) Nothing Much.
(151) 'Up High Along'.
(152) Over My Shoulder.
(153) Neptune personified.
(154) Songs Of Silence, Songs Of Sound.
(155) Ron. (Meditative thoughts)
(156) Zapped!
(157) Astrological Mathematics:
(158) On A Visit.
(159) Untranslatable.
(160) A Vast Reservoir.
(161) Do Not Try!
(162) A Hard Brexit Woman.
(163) Creamy And Yellow.
(164) Followed Back In Time.
(165) Ignorant Twat!
(166) Meet Up.
(167) One Sunny Afternoon.
(168) A Jammer.
(169) Vague Woman.
(170) Timeline Reset Integrate Sync Machine. (T.R.I.S.M).
(171) An Example And A Witness.
(172) Fixated.
(173) Have You Been Talking About Me?
(174) The Unknown.
(175) "Hasn't Anyone Got A Cloth?"
(176) A Witness From Above.
(177) In The Meantime.
(178) They Say ...
(179) A Likely Scenario.
(180) Subtle Manipulation?
(181) The Man In The Air.
(182) The Punk That I Am.

1-7-18

(133) Jumble Room.

I am looking for words beginning with the letter J to describe this:
I jump up. I am like a jigsaw puzzle. Just me, jotting about in a
jumble for some clothes to put on after I awake from my slumber.
I switch the light on to go to the toilet. There are others here. I
sense them. They join me like silent silhouettes who slowly walk
along in my room, which is suddenly all lit up with a switch that I
click on, on the wall. My clothes are all strewn across my floor. I
tidy up. I shut a door. I look around and I clear my floor.

(134) My Reading.
Auntie Brenda has got a boyfriend after all these years of being
single. I go round to see auntie Brenda. I can only see auntie
Brenda for a short time because she wants some privacy.

"I am having a seance." She informs me. "Let me see your palm."
She goes on to say. She holds onto my finger tips, as I show her my
flat palm, as I hold it out to her. She takes a quick look at my palm,
turns her nose up and pushes my palm back to me. 'And what
does that mean?' I wonder to myself.

(135) A New Buy.

I get a new job, but I cannot do my new job whilst I live in a guest
house room. So my boss is considering his options:

"I will have to buy you a house." He concludes. "But I do not like to
buy houses on a Sunday." He goes on to say.

'WOW! He must be loaded with money.' Is my immediate thought,

as I take a good look at him umming and arring about buying me
this house on a Sunday.

"I will need to use a code on a Sunday." He says thinking out loud.
I am like, 'go on dude, do it man!' I am willing him on silently in my
mind. I would like to live in a nice house all to myself.

2-7-18

(136) A Dry Water Drought.

I am on tour with the Prince Of Wales. Everything has been set up
and runs to a plan. I find myself in this old school building as part
of the tour that we are on.

I notice a white porcelain water fountain on the wall outside this

building and I decide to drink some water out of it, but the water
feels warm to my hands. "Maybe the copper pipes that run along
inside the wooden roof of this building have warmed up and that
the water within these pipes has warmed up too." This is what I
conclude to another chap who is a part of the Prince Of Wales
team with us.

I curiously watch this man who is on tour with us. He never seems
to get wet. I am fascinated because I see him as he stands there by
this water fountain with the water spouting down his neck and yet
he does not get wet. He does not notice the water on his neck and
all his clothes are dry, yet I see the water spouting down his neck.
This is strange. Why does he not get wet? Maybe there is a hose
pipe ban due to this heat wave, because I hear that we are in a
drought now and I am in no doubt now that this man should be
wet!
3-7-18

(137) He Is The Star, Not Me.

"...even if it is too hot there. It might be too hot for me to bare." I
find myself saying and I do not know why I have said it, as I
become more aware of my consciousness.

There is a lad who is like me. I take his place sometimes when he
performs. I use his push bike. I am very familiar with that push
bike, but the other lad is the star of the show, not me. And when
we all go out, it is he who people want to talk to, not me. So
quietly I am kept in my place you see. Quietly I follow on with
those other people and no one knows who I really am.

(138) Received Help.

I go to her house and I tidy up. I look for my mugs and glasses that
I have left here, or maybe I did not bring them round here this
morning.

Everyday she gets trapped inside her house. She spot welds a shell
of a caravan inside her house. Mrs Mitchell is happy to receive my
help, before Mrs Mitchell becomes a prisoner of her own home,
before Mrs Mitchell spot welds the shell of a caravan inside her
house. This is something that she does daily. This is her daily
routine. This is how she traps herself inside and the help that I
give her is greatly received.

(139) However.
I give Lisa a lift in my car. We have some banter. We always have
some banter, as we tease each other. There is a communication
breakdown between us and I meet Lisa coming up, as I am going
down on my way back. There are three winding lanes down this
road which are in parallel to each other and Lisa drives down the
central lane every time. She is the arrow in the middle who goes
the opposite way to the outer two lanes. Maybe I can sort this
problem out or maybe I cannot. I languish on this problem. I mull
over the details and I hold back. It might get sorted out or it might
not. We will just have to wait and see how it goes.

5-7-18

(140) Babylon's Burning, But Silently.

It is no star secret that I have never wanted to be a star. So I sit in
my room and I play my electric guitar to myself. I play some Ruts
songs in my room, but I live in a shared accommodation and my
amp is suddenly silenced. It is silenced miraculously. It is as if by
magic that my amp shuts down so that only the quiet tingle of the
strings on my electric guitar are heard. The silencing of my amp
takes me by surprise, but I accept this imposed quietness quite
well, as I keep playing without stopping. It becomes a tingly
version of a Ruts song that does not project any great volume and
so it does not disturb any of the other household dwellers as it did
before.

(141) In Anticipation.
I am in a queue. I have put my feelers out to navigate those
timelines of events that I sense. I see myself as a voluptuous
woman in a black dress. I am in a front row seat now, in an
auditorium, as an audience member to a show that does not
reveal itself. I am with others who are special like me. We are in
the front row and we forge out a future in a mysteriously galactic
way. We are special because with our hybridized ways we lead
new pathways. We lead new pathways as spectators and as the
will of the people in the greatest show ever. The stage is set and
yet it does not reveal itself to us, not yet.

6-7-18

(142) In Need Of A Piss.

I am with this lass. We share legs. My legs slot into her legs and
her legs slot into my legs. I do not know how this works and it
feels strange at first. She is right behind me and we go around a
supermarket to start with. I am a little self conscious at first, but
then I soon get into my stride and then I need the toilet:

The toilets are bricked up. The toilets entrances are two diamond
shaped windows bricked up and painted over in white gloss paint.
I see that Liam Jarvis is attending these toilets. I think to myself,
'Liam is not going to like this.' And I precede to kick in the
diamond shaped window for the male toilets. I kick in those bricks
and I hear Liam exclaim, "Oh no!" Because now he has a lot of
work to do. Then Liam decides to kick in some of these bricks that
still remain blocking up some of this diamond shaped window. So
now the toilets are full of rubble and they take some getting into.
Once inside I notice another wall that is a bit rickety and I ask
Liam, "Has this wall always been here?" And he assures me that it
has. Although I am a little puzzled by it. It is such a mess in here,
but I do need a piss.

(143) The Dealer.

I met Sharon. This is Gale's daughter and she is on a mission. She
has eleven business deals to do apparently. People gossip about
Sharon:

"Have you seen how many razor blades Sharon uses?"

"Apparently Sharon used to be forty four stone!"

All I know is, is that Sharon is sorting out these business deals. She
went out earlier this morning and I have not seen her since. I
guess that she must be still sorting out those business deals.

7-7-18

(144) A Boo Boo!

How we escape the fires of burning wrecks. Homes built as flats
that burn and melt into hot glowing liquids. It is always a shock as
those moltenous ruins visibly glow a bright orangy yellow and we
make our way out from the radiated heat of this glow. There is an
outrage at the dangers and the inflammability that these buildings
present. There is an outrage that we as a peoples here have to
endure this escapade as we help each other along out of these
situations that should never happen in the first place.

This situation is represented as a breast. A big breast that falls out

in a mammary avalanche from a big tity boulder holder, which
holds the power suspended suspectly within the confines of a
black dress. The naked truth pops out from the strap and
confinement in the gravity of this situation that helps to create a
fashionable cover up within the nakedness of this black dressed
beauty. A flop out, helplessly sagging down low. Swinging low to
reveal this sensational show. A flash of volump human female
flesh. A boo boo!
9-7-18

(145) OK Computer.
I am living my life to the full dancing and stuff. I am aware of this
computer that Mark has. He is concerned that it is being over
used. I check how hot the computer is by putting my hand on it
and I notice that it has a number seventy in red L.E.D. digits on the
keyboard and I am wondering what that means. This computer is
being used as some sort of equaliser for music that is being
played. This computer is being used to its maximum. It is only a
little cheap computer but it is running okay for now.

10-7-18

(146) A Voice That Moves You.

"You know when you hear something good, but how do you
define that quality in a singing voice that moves you. We all know
it when we hear it, but how do you define it?"

I ask Noel Gallagher and someone else this and we are all
stumped. We sit there searching our minds in silence and we do
not come up with an answer.

(147) Daft Twat!

"Have you been talking about me?" Lisa quizzes me, blunt and to
the point, whilst she stares at me waiting for my reply. I question
myself:

'Have I been talking about Lisa?' I frantically search my mind and

my mind is not sure. 'Maybe I have or maybe I haven't.' This has
become an inquest and things are feeling a little tense for me now,
but before I can reply a woman who I do not know interjects and
says to Lisa, "But he didn't know." I am feeling exposed here. I am
new around here you see, which makes things all the more
awkward for me, especially as I am not sure what I have said.

Apparently Lisa does not like people talking about her. I am in

trouble with her now and I have a forfeit. I have to sing the song, 'I
Can't Help Falling In Love.' There are two versions of this song and
I want to make sure that I get the gritty alternative version to sing,
but I have not heard that version and then I come up with a
brilliant idea, "I know I'll do my own version!" And I exclaim this
enthusiastically to everyone.

Now everyone is looking at me silently. I can feel everyone as they

stare at me, as if they are working me out and my enthusiasm slips
dramatically. My smile turns upside down and I feel quite silly at
this point. I wish that I had kept my big mouth shut and so I decide
to keep a low profile from now on.

11-7-18

(148) Heatwave, Torbay, Devon 2018.

I sing here by the seaside whilst I capture some sun, whilst I
capture my imagination and I have some fun. I get a feel for the
music and I find a way to play along the Torbay pathway. With blue
skies and sunshine I stand on hot concrete slabs and I sing from
my heart to the seagulls and crabs. On this clear day of sunshine I
watch the waves roll in as I feel the sun burn and scorch my skin. I
languish around with leisure and ease and I capture cool spray
that blows in on the breeze.
Heatwave, Torbay, Devon 2018.

I sing here by the seaside

whilst I capture some sun,
whilst I capture my imagination
and I have some fun.

I get a feel for the music

and I find a way to play
along the Torbay,
along this pathway.

With blue skies and sunshine

I stand on hot concrete slabs
and I sing from my heart
 to the seagulls and crabs.

On this clear day of sunshine

I watch the waves roll in
as I feel the sun burn
and scorch my skin.

I languish around
with leisure and ease
and I capture cool spray
that blows in on the breeze.

I sing here by the seaside

whilst I capture some sun,
whilst I capture my imagination
and I have some fun.

12-7-18

(149) Float On By.

"You know you make me smile with some of the things that you
say." Says Tomo to me whilst he laughs out loud. Tomo's reaction
takes me by surprise. It was just a thoughtless comment. I do not
even know what I have said. Whatever I said it was off the top of
my head and it has now gone off into the fogginess of
forgetfulness, just like the little lone white fluffy cloud that has
purposelessly floated on by, across the blue and sunny sky.

13-7-18
(150) Nothing Much.
I am in this big old works building on a night shift. There is another
worker here and he has left a tap running into a sink. He has also
left a door open that leads outside and the wind is blowing about.
'Is he trashing this place?' I wonder to myself. Then another
worker walks in through the door that has been left open.

It is quite desolate in this big old works building and there is

nothing much to do except to while away the time on this late
shift. I would like those others here to keep things tidy, but I do
not say anything. In any case I am here on my own now. One of
the workers walked outside and the other worker who came in
has disappeared in this big old building somewhere. There is
nothing for me to do now. Nothing much is happening here.

(151) 'Up High Along'.

We have our own little group of people who meet up at this
building and we play our music, but often we get interruptions
from people who just want to know how we are doing and this
can be distracting. We ignore these people and sometimes we do
not even let them in.

So I play my Pink Floyd and I practice my riffs to perfection. Until

one day I move people with my music and we all sing 'Up High
Along', as we move to the music of this incredible song. Even
people who do not care about music are emoted along, as in my
rhythm and delivery I can do you no wrong. So now we are all
dancing and singing this song. We feel all of its energy and we feel
it so strong.
14-7-18

(152) Over My Shoulder.

I have some twisted guilty thoughts. The way that I just murder
someone. Murder someone secretly and then hide the evidence.
'Am I a bad man?' I question myself, but mainly I worry. I worry
that the evidence that I have hidden will come to light one day
and that I will be found out. Found out that I am as guilty as sin.
As guilty as sin for the murder that is hidden deep within zip
pockets.

These pockets may be inspected one day, but in the meantime I

play away. I keep to myself my deep dark secret and I say nothing.
I say nothing and I stick to my story so that I may hide the
unspeakable truth and hope that it will be unreachable and that
the evidence is kept hidden. Hidden deep within zip pockets.

15-7-18

(153) Neptune personified.

I am to get somewhere. I am on my pushbike along a coastline
somewhere. As I pushbike along and I marvel at how still the sea is
and at how the light reflects onto the water. For some reason the
sea looks so beautiful tonight. In the distance I catch a glimpse of
a small spray of water on the surface of this still and reflective sea
when I notice a seal. As I keep pedalling along I notice more seals
and then I see that they are laid out all along this wide rustic
corridor that I cycle down. There are so many of them that I
wonder to myself, 'Will I get through on my bush bike?'

Something happens and my perspective changes. It is like I remote

view way up in the distance of this rustic corridor that I cycle
down and I witness so many seals laid out along this land that I am
to cycle down. There is also a very tall man who I notice. He is
horizontal, laid out flat moving across hovering above the ground
back to the sea. How odd this is and I notice that his feet are a two
pronged fork and that the tines of his feet are wide and flat. These
wide flat tines act as a lift in the air as he slowly glides along back
to sea. This is real and so convincing to me. It hits home to me. It
gives me my proof that I need that there is a man who belongs to
the sea.

I am close to the waters edge now. The sea is so still. This tall man
comes out of the sea. He has a hood and he is faceless except that
there are two wide and flat tines, just like his feet, that go across
his dark empty hood. Across the black empty space where his face
should be. His gown is a mottled blue and white. I am scared of
this strange tall man at first, but he reassures me telepathically
and I get the message:

"I am taking you in before your time. You will have to do this."

For some reason I understand that I must go under this beautiful

and reflective still water. He reaches out to me and I am taken
horizontally into this water. I am amazed by his gentleness and the
care that he takes to immerse me. I am ready for this. I
understand that he is giving me a gift from the sea. I am being
aligned. This is Neptune and he is good for me. As soon as I am
immersed in the sea I remember no more. I remember no more of
what happens and I find that I am transported away from the sea
back into my everyday life.

(154) Songs Of Silence, Songs Of Sound.

I reach a place where I sing telepathically. I go through these songs
because there are only some songs that can be sung telepathically.
Most songs cannot be sung telepathically and these songs I sing
too. The difference between telepathic songs and ordinary songs
is similar to the difference between oats and a chocolate bar. One
is more natural than the other.

(155) Ron. (Meditative thoughts)

Almost every morning I walk down the lane beside the golf course
and I go down to the cove by the sea. Often I find golf balls down
this lane that have gone off course. I pick up these balls and I have
a large collection of golf balls now. I get the impression that there
is a golfer who is so bad at golf that whenever he goes on this golf
course he loses his golf balls and that is when I find these golf balls
down that lane. I think that his name is Ron because I found a golf
ball with that name on it. Today I heard someone who sounded
frustrated because he was on the green swearing and cursing.
That must be Ron I think to myself. I have now found another four
golf balls this morning!

16-7-18

(156) Zapped!
I have trouble with the microwave. I put it on for 9 minutes 20
seconds. "You will burn your sponge pudding!" I am told. I turn the
dial but the microwave keeps cooking. I pull the plug out and still
the microwave keeps cooking. I am in a panic now. Those
microwaves could zap me! I open the microwave door and I run
off, away from those waves.

So finally I get my sponge pudding with custard and a mug of

bubbling hot drinking chocolate, but my nerves are jangled now. I
think that those microwaves have got me. My hands are tingling
and I feel a little strange.

(157) Astrological Mathematics:

Spiritual (water) - - (cardinal) - cancer

Spiritual (water) - - (mutable) - Pisces
Spiritual (water) - - (fixed) - Scorpio
[ - minus - ] minimalism, simplicity.
Radicies

Intellectual (air) - - (cardinal) - Libra

Intellectual (air) - - (mutable) - Gemini
Intellectual (air) - - (fixed) - Aquarius
[ + plus + ] positivity, complexity.
Matrices

Emotional (fire) - - (cardinal) - Aries

Emotional (fire) - - (mutable) - Sagittarius
Emotional (fire) - - (fixed) - Leo
[ x times x ] productivity, passion.
Indices

Physical (earth) - - (cardinal) - Capricorn

Physical (earth) - - (mutable) - Virgo
Physical (earth) - - (fixed) - Taurus
[ / divide / ] individuality, calmness.
Fractions

Cardinal - fundamental, dominant, primary. (Number theory)

Mutable - flexible, variable, changeable. (Algebra)
Fixed - determined, settled, stable. (Geometry)
17-7-18

(158) On A Visit.
I am staying at Sharon Taylor's house. Her mum is there too. I
struggle to find my clothes. I am wandering around naked and I
really need to get some clothes on. I think that I put my clothes in
this wardrobe. I struggle to open the wardrobe door because it
has a clever mechanism that allows for greater storage and there
is a knack to opening this door. After a little struggle and a head
scratch I manage to get inside this wardrobe. Yes, my clothes are
here, but there is only one T shirt. I guess that that will have to do.

I go out and I find myself chatting to this young lass. We have a

nice chat but I do not fancy her. I am not attracted to her. She has
ginger hair and freckles and a very serious face. She decides to go.
We have a quick hug and she leaves me on my own.

I key in some items on my small silver lap top computer that I have
with me, but my computer will not let me key in any more items.
There is a clear crystal L.E.D. display on my keyboard that gives the
letters wt. That means weight. For some reason my computer
doubles up as a carry case and it is telling me that the items that I
have keyed into the computer weigh too much to be carried in the
carry case. I never even said that these items were going into the
carry case. Stupid computer. I turn the computer over and there is
a compartment underneath that is open. It has a display light on
that lights up the back panel and it gives off this gentle white light.
There are tiny tools in there all laid out in rows and columns. I
really do not know what these tools are for.
18-7-18

(159) Untranslatable.
Lisa asks me if I can play a song and if I can sing it quietly. "Yes." I
tell her enthusiastically, as I get up on stage and I get into my song.
I whisper sing and I play along. There is something else, but it has
gone. Untranslatable.

I keep up with these music competitions to see how it feels. I play

these songs for people to see what it reveals. There is something
else, but it has gone. Untranslatable.

Rhetorically I am asked, "How long has he been with you?" And

cryptically I am told, "He will live with you, to your short circuits."
This is a clue. Something new. There is something else, but it has
gone. Untranslatable.

Untranslatable.

Lisa asks me
if I can play a song,
if I can sing it quietly.
"Yes." I tell her enthusiastically,
as I get up on stage
and I get into my song.
I whisper sing and I play along.
There is something else,
but it has gone.
Untranslatable.
 I keep up
with these music competitions
to see how it feels.
I play these songs for people
just to see what it reveals.
There is something else,
but it has gone.
Untranslatable.

Rhetorically
I am asked,
"How long has he been with you?"
And cryptically I am told,
"He will live with you,
to your short circuits."
This is a clue.
Something new.
There is something else,
but it has gone.
Untranslatable.

(160) A Vast Reservoir.

Door by door, frame by frame. I make myself through this dream.
Step by step, flow by flow, I find a direction in which to go. Deeper
and deeper, finer and finer, my memory comes back to remind me
now. With focus and with clarity, with hope and with parity, in
time I recall all somehow.

(161) Do Not Try!

This lass shows me a video on her phone of Bibsy last year when
he went to Scotland and he had gotten a sun tan. I do not know
what he was wearing on his head, but he has a deep sun tan on
his forehead and then you can see a stark contrast where his skin
is white on the top, back and sides of his bald head. He looks a
twat!

I am stood here smoking talking to this lad. I put a cigarette out

and then I notice in my tobacco tin that I have another proper
filter cigarette in there and so I light that cigarette up too. 'Why
did I just do that?' I think to myself. I am chain smoking here. I am
talking to this lad as I am smoking and I overhear someone talking
about, 'trying to do something.' This gets me started as I go into a
lecture on the use of language:

"That is a bad use of language. You either do something or you

don't do something. You should not use the word trying."

The lad who I am talking to totally agrees with me. He totally gets
what I am saying here. I watch him as he thoughtfully looks to the
ground, as he takes one last drag of his cigarette and as he nods
his head in agreement with me. He flicks what is left of his filter
cigarette away. I watch the parabolic trajectory that his cigarette
makes through the air before it bounces on the concrete ground
and then rolls in an arc to a stop.

19-7-18

(162) A Hard Brexit Woman.

I travel back home a different route and there are four Brexiteers
along this route. They deliver their speeches on hard Brexit, but
are they hard Brexit enough? They are four big beautiful women
and I look at their physical appearances. Are they substantial
enough? Are they hard Brexit enough? They have substance, but
could they have more substance? I look at their three digit
numbers on A4 paper that are safety pinned onto their white T
shirts. I look at their large breasts as they bulge and stretch their
white T shirts. I look at their big bellies that stretching their tight
shorts that they wear. I look at their thick thighs that stand out
there and their bare feet that hold them to the ground.

I imagine the most substantial hard Brexit woman possible. I

imagine this woman as a physical body and let me just say that
you would not push her over. From years of being funnel fed and
indoctrinated she carries much weight. You would not wrestle her
to the ground lightly. If she sat on your face then you would know
about it for sure! That hard Brexit woman is a super sized big
beautiful woman well worth a wank, but you would not
necessarily want to get into a relationship with her!

20-7-18

(163) Creamy And Yellow.

There is a road of ice cream. I give Chris Kirkby a lift along this
stretch of road. I am careful, but it is slightly down hill along the
ice cream road and there is a slight curve along the stretch of
yellow ice cream. I pump my brakes as I drive along, but it is
difficult to drive slow along the yellow ice cream stretch and in any
case this ice cream is melting. There are puddles along here. They
are melting and yellow. Chris Kirkby automatically gets a ticket
along this stretch. The law clock him and my dad spouts off about
this:

"Bloody typical, the council want to come along here and sort out
these puddles! It's a disgrace that we all have to drive along these
melting roads!"

My dad really sticks up for Chris who is a little disappointed, but it

is well known just how creamy the yellow stretch of ice cream
really is and many people have had a taste of this. They find
themselves licking those creamy yellow puddles as they go along.
It is very moreish and before they know it they get caught out.
Before they know it they get caught up with their tongues hanging
out and of course that is when they get clocked by the law. That is
when they get their ticket.

(164) Followed Back In Time.

This is my pit town of Ollerton. If you blink when you pass through
it then you would miss it. I go back in time there. I am in this dark
oily concrete garage there and I am aware of some cranky old men
smoking and talking. They seem dodgy to me and I am always
ready for some banter. I am always ready to talk tough with them.

For some reason I drive to the hospital. I am aware that two

blokes follow me. This is where it gets strange. I arrive at the same
garage that I left and yet this time there is a hospital joined to the
garage. I park up in this dark oily garage. It is dismal and dark, it is
so dingy in that garage. Then I go into the hospital joined to that
garage which in contrast is white and bright with fluorescent light.
I am aware of the two old men who follow me. They follow me
into the hospital. I feel at home in the hospital. I see the two men
arrive. They do not speak to me and I ignore them also, as I
discretely watch them walk past me. I watch them out of the
corner of my eye as they pass me by.

(165) Ignorant Twat!

I walk past a works place and I hear a voice from nowhere shout
out. I do not know what has been said and I walk on. Then as clear
as day I hear:

"Don't you ignore me!"

I decide to keep walking on, but I recognise that voice and I cannot
work out who he is. It bugs me and so I go back to find out who he
is and I meet some more of my ex colleagues who are hanging
around. We have a chat and a good laugh, but I do not find that
person who shouted out at me in the first place. I rack my mind,
but I cannot work out who he is. I just cannot place this man. I
know his voice so well. Where did he go to and why did I not get
to meet him? Maybe he is avoiding me. Maybe he is ignoring me.

21-7-18

(166) Meet Up.

There is a drummer, Drumming along mixing up his beats. There
are singers singing sitting on their seats and clapping, clap clap.

There is a search going on in the key to this song. There is a probe

coming along in the beats that go wrong on a Cajon and we all
meet up in the end.

There is a message that we all send out and a position to defend

as we all shout out, but we all meet up in the end. Yes, we all
meet up in the end.

Meet Up.
 There is a drummer,
Drumming along mixing up his beats.
There are singers singing
sitting on their seats
and clapping,
clap clap.

There is a search going on

in the key to this song.
There is a probe coming along
in the beats that go wrong
on a Cajon
and we all meet up in the end.

There is a message
that we all send out
and a position to defend
as we all shout out,
but we all meet up in the end.
Yes, we all meet up in the end.

22-7-18

(167) One Sunny Afternoon.

Reuben gets chatting away. He gets transposing songs. He is
working it all out in his head because if you transpose a major key
into the key of C major, then you can usually get rid of sharp and
flat chords. In a minor key that would work if you transpose into
the key of A minor. Doing this can make a song a lot easier to play.
Chords that are neutral, that are not sharp or flat tend to be much
easier to get your fingers around.

Later I find myself with an ex girlfriend called Dawn. We are on a

big boat going down the river and I see another ex girlfriend of
mine who is also on this boat. I am in two minds as to whether I
should tell Dawn, but in the end I tell her that my ex Sharon is also
on this boat. "We went out with each other in 1984." I inform
Dawn. "When did we go out with each other?" I ask her and Dawn
is quick to reply, "1987." I look over to Sharon on the boat. We
have not aknowledge ourselves to each other yet. I see that
Sharon is talking to someone. I would give her a quick wave but
Sharon is not looking my way and now she seems to have the sun
glinting in her eyes and so her eyes are shut.

Previously I do remember being obnoxious for some reason. This

is nothing to do with my ex girlfriends. I am obnoxious to some
lads who for some reason have got my back up. I do not like being
like this but for some reason, and I do not recall why, I just get
wrong headed. I have this bad attitude that I display disgracefully.
It is just a phase that I go through and I am over it now.

So I arrive with Dawn at my parents' house. My sister and my

mum are there. Dawn has never met my sister and mum before
and I wonder how they will all get along together. Dawn gets
chatting to them and it all seems quite convivial and natural. I just
listen to their girlie talk, pleased that they all appear to be getting
along quite nicely.

23-7-18

(168) A Jammer.
I am keeping a low profile. There are many of us who play guitar
here and I wonder how I am going to assimilate myself amongst all
these guitarists. Some of them are a bit clicky with each other and
I wonder if I will ever get a look in with my jamming here. I have
my trusty chords and I have my blues scale, but how will I get a
look in? They say patience is a virtue and I am no virtuoso, but I
can rattle something out, if I ever get a chance. I can find
something to shout about and sometimes people dance, but will I
ever get a look in?

24-7-18

(169) Vague Woman.

There is a blonde haired woman called Donna who organises her
life so that she can remember her dreams. I wonder how she is
getting on with that. I wonder how that is going. She seems quite
vague about it. She does not say too much, but she says that it is
going well. I do not get to know too much about this, with its non
linearity in nature, it loses information. It does not transfer well
into our linear realm, but she does say that she travels out of her
body.

25-7-18

(170) Timeline Reset Integrate Sync Machine. (T.R.I.S.M).

I feel different this morning. A change has taken place within me.
My clothes do not fit me like they used to. I have come in from a
much different timeline. This may be due to a trism, (T.R.I.S.M).
From what I understand the trism is a car that has doubled up as a
vehicle that can time travel. Apparently one of the female singers
from the group the B52's had a son who was born in the 1990's
who time travelled from the year 2036 in an ordinary looking car
that had been specially adapted. He gave the B52's the lyrics to
their song Trism. This was in the early 1980's before he was even
born!

Well now my car is behaving like a trism, as one of my headlights

is not working. I guess that a bulb for the headlights has blown
and so now I am in a new timeline where I have to replace this
dud bulb with a new one. Instead of travelling back in time I have
managed to move into a new future. This is not something that I
have planned. It is a mystery to me as to why my bulb would blow.
I am told that nothing is random in this universe.

Much of my conscious memory regarding this event I cannot

access within the deeper levels of the subjective process that has
led up to this event happening. I would like to say more on the
actual metaphysics of this time travel/timeline shift, but I feel that
I cannot and that the deeper level cause of this shift will have to
remain a mystery.

(171) An Example And A Witness.

I am cooking some mince in a most unusual way. This mince is in a
microwave oven, it is folded up into two layers equally. Both layers
are exactly the same, one layer is folded on top of the other. There
are four of these trays of mince. Two at the back of the oven and
two at the front. I am not sure as to what this mince is made from,
but I know that it is vegetarian. I watch the tray cook. For some
reason only the tray in the front on the right of this oven cooks
and it cooks in seconds. I watch the steam come off the mince and
I watch how the two layers meld together under the heat that is
produced from the microwave oven. Then I take the tray out of
the oven and place it on the side to cool off.
I go out for a walk and I wander around this hot dusty land. I am
aware, as I watch the other people wandering around that these
people do not have the livestock that they once had. This is
because people are mostly vegetarian now. Whole industries have
folded due to the changing attitudes of people. I am both an
example and a witness to this change. I am a vegetarian.

25-7-18

(172) Fixated.
I go through my mobile phone which monitors my bio-chemistry.
Biological explosions and chemical reactions flash up on the
screen as moving text that scrolls up. These details run off so
quickly. I feel great sensations that mirror the information on my
phone. I am spoilt in this reality, but at a deeper level my bio-
chemistry has been corrupted. I draw on my inner resources as my
mobile keeps me high, as my eyes fixate on the screen and my
mind works out why these sensations mirror my vision. So this is
how my biology reacts to stimuli and all those little things that I
do. How my biology reacts to my need to get a fix and how I
become the content of what I view.

(173) Have You Been Talking About Me?

(This song has been inspired from the dream/verse (147) Daft
Twat! )

Intro:

e|_____2_2___0________2_2___0
B|_____3_3___2________3_3___2
G|_____2_2___2________2_2___2
D |_ _ 0 2 _ 0 _ 0 _ _ _ 2_ _ _ _ _ 0 2 _ 0 _ 0 _ _ _ 2
A |_ 2 _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0 _ _ _ _ 2 _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0
E |0 _ _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0_ _ _ 0 _ _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0

_____D_D ___A_______D_D ___A

[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -

[A] |||
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -

Verse 1:
'O' [D]I've been [C]looking for you [A]here down [Bb]town
The [D]sun is [C]shining and [A]you're so [Bb]brown
[D]Living in a [C]dream where [A]ever you [Bb]go
But [D]there's one [C]thing that [A]I want to [Bb]know

Chorus:
[N.C.]Have you been talking about me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[N.C.]Have - you - been - talking - about - me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[A] |||
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -

Verse 2:
I [D]see you in the [C]park with your [A]friends all a[Bb]round
I [D]keep my ears [C]close to [A]those on the [Bb]ground
I [D]listen to the [C]gossip and I [A]know what you [Bb]say
I [D]want your ad[C]mission and I [A]want it to[Bb]day
Chorus:
[N.C.]Have you been talking about me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[N.C.]Have - you - been - talking - about - me?
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -
[A] |||
[Em] ||- [Em11] | - [A] | - [A] ||| - [D] || - [Em11] | - [A] | -

Outro:
e|_____2_2___0
B|_____3_3___2
G|_____2_2___2
D |_ _ 0 2 _ 0 _ 0 _ _ _ 2
A |_ 2 _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0
E |0 _ _ _ _ x _ x _ _ _ 0

_____D_D ___A

[N.C.]I said, "Have you been talking about me?"

27-7-18

(174) The Unknown.

This collection here is on holiday down here in South Devon. I am
their vehicle for vacation as they have come through me before.
Almost as soon as they come through me my memory starts to
fade and disintegrate. So what is the point of that I wonder? It all
comes back to me in a second part of a dream. I see streets on a
map. I see the visions of my dream and I travel through these
streets on this map and they take me to where I do not know. I am
in this coach going along the metallic means. I am travelling along
these ratios and I see them as two dimensional shapes:

x^2 - nx - 1 = 0

The above quadratic equation has the following solutions:

------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
n | x =[n + or - sqrt(n^2 + 4)]/2
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
0 | x =[0 + or - sqrt(4)]/2 = +1 and -1
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| The Golden Mean:
1 | x =[1 + or - sqrt(5)]/2
| = approx 1.61803398875 and - 0.61803398875
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| The Silver Mean:
2 | x =[2 + or - sqrt(8)]/2 = 1 + or - sqrt(2)
| = approx 2.41421356237 and -0.41421356237
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
| The Bronze Mean:
3 | x =[3 + or - sqrt(13)]/2
| = approx 3.30277563773 and -0.30277563773
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
4 | x = approx 4.2360679775 and -0.2360679775
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
5 | x = approx 5.19258240356 and -0.19258240356
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
6 | x = approx 6.16227766016 and -0.16227766016
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
7 | x = approx 7.14005494464 and -0.14005494464
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
8 | x = approx 8.12310562561 and -0.12310562561
------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------
9 | x = approx 9.10977222864 and -0.10977222864

The above shapes can be repeated infinitely in their bottom right

corner so as to complete the rectangles. The ratio that these a x
na shapes are perpendicularly repeated at is:

([n+sqrt(n^2+4))/2]-n)^-m

where, golden mean n=1, silver mean n=2, bronze mean n=3, and
so on down through the metallic elements. It is not strictly defined
which metallic elements follow on from bronze. Maybe copper
n=4, aluminium n=5, tin n=6 and so on. m is the number of times
the a x na shapes have been scaled down to b x nb and repeated.
When m is odd then side b is horizontal and side nb is vertical.
When m is even then side b is vertical and side nb is horizontal.
28-7-18

(175) "Hasn't Anyone Got A Cloth?"

We all go performing over in Brixham tonight. Lisa, myself and this
man who is very wealthy are having a good chat at the end of the
night. Mr wealthy says how well we perform together and how we
all seem to loop together nicely. I look at the surface of the bar
table that we are all sat at. There are puddles of drink standing
proud on top of its wooden surface. I reflect on these puddles as
they reflect the lighting through their globular transparency.

(176) A Witness From Above.

I am watching the traffic from above. From my room window. I
notice a van pull up at a junction with another van behind it. The
van in the front has its back doors swinging open and so the van
from behind drives up real close and nudges these doors shut, but
then there is a crash of broken glass and the back doors fall off the
front van. With that the van driver from behind is out of her van.
She is a black lady and she quickly picks something on the road. A
white woman in the front van gets out now and these women
have a heated discussion. For some reason I notice these two
ladies are carrying a lot of headphones on them. They abandon
their vans and walk off with these head phones. There was other
stuff going off in the traffic but I was too busy watching these two.

(177) In The Meantime.

I am in my room and there is a traintrack just outside. In fact there
is a train there stood still on the tracks and it is starring right
through my window, right inside my room, silently and lifelessly as
if it has nowhere else to go.

I am outside now arranging some of my belongings beside this

lifeless train that is stood still on these old rail tracks. I place my
belongings neatly on a wall as I listen to a lass and her friends talk
amongst themselves. They are not aware of me being there. I get
the impression that she is pregnant as I half catch a few things
that they say. This is significant information to me as I have
recently had sex with her. I notice a young black lad who walks up
to them. They are sat on the steps to a building in front of a door.
Although they are obscured from my vision, I do notice this black
lad who walks up to them before he too is obscured by the
building and I hear him confidently say out loud, "Hello, you
pregnant slag!" 'Well that was subtle.' I think to myself and I get
the feeling that I might be in some trouble here. Although this
does not phase me. It gives me something to mull over in my head
in the meantime, as I just continue to rearrange my belongings
neatly on the wall, as I am overlooked by the train that appears to
have nowhere else to go.

29-7-18

(178) They Say ...

I am told that there are strange beings who visit us discretely and
that they do not like people wearing clothes and so I take my T
shirt off. I am told that they can monitor to see if you have a voice
and that most people do not have a voice. You can talk all day, but
you are likely not to register very high on their monitor system,
because it is not a real voice that you have. We only use the words
that we are fed to say and that our originality is so weak. In any
case we have lost our way. I am told that this is what they say.
These strange beings who come to us discretely, from a long long
way away.

30-7-18

(179) A Likely Scenario.

I have a shower and then I make my way across the guest house
landing. I make my way back to my small guest house room where
I am surprised to see that the landlady has stripped my bedding.
There is clean bedding that has been left neatly piled up in my
room. She has left the job half done and I am aware of my
nakedness beneath my dressing gown. I imagine myself poking out
of this dressing gown. I look around but the landlady is not here.
She is not in my room now, but I guess that she may return soon.
She is not far away. I reveal myself from my dressing gown
conscious that she may return. I feel that I share a little of my
privacy with the way that she just comes in and strips my bed, but
I do not mind. Maybe one day she will catch me out and see me in
my entirety. This seems likely to happen but I really do not mind. I
smile to myself as I imagine the shock that this would cause. I
amuse myself with my thoughts about my privacy being breached
as I imagine the look on her face : O

(180) Subtle Manipulation?

I have been wandering around this big old mansion house. I have
been up to allsorts, but I have this amnesia and I cannot
remember all that I have done. I am talking to Wendy Woo now. I
listen to her talk as I stretch out and I fold this pale blue sheet. I
fold it through these matching pale blue rings at the corners and
the intermediary points on each side. So I listen to Wendy say:
"I am just wondering what would happen if I went the legal route?
In fact I did do! I tried that many years ago."

As Wendy reveals this information to me I get the impression that

this did not go too well for her. I get the impression that she went
the legal route with her own son and that she did this because she
wanted the outcome that she wanted. She reveals so much more
to me than just what she tells me as I get my impressions
intuitively. So now I wonder, maybe she is trying her clever little
ways on me!

31-7-18

(181) The Man In The Air.

There is a lot of jumping about going on. I am travelling through
the green green grassy hills of this countryside, when I notice
people jumping from great heights and throwing things about. At
some point I plan to jump the coastal waters onto another green
and grassy land, but in the meantime I see some people messing
around and they appear to be having fun. There is a man sat, high
up on a step ladder which is then pushed forward. The man at the
top of this step ladder arcs forward through the air and then lands
safely to the floor. There are other people throwing tools around
that just miss this man on the step ladder. I see some big hammers
flying through the air, just missing the man arcing through the air.
'What a strange occupation.' I think to myself. I take a good look at
this man. He has short blonde hair and a serious face. Three times
in a row I watch him as he arcs through the air, as he is sat high up
on the top of these steps only to land up on roof tops and other
areas high up from the ground. I hear a man shout out, "Come on
John you've had three easy ones now!" As John prepares once
more to arc through the air high up on the top of these step
ladders. 'How does he keep on doing this?' I wonder to myself.
With his circus mind for performing he seems to fair so well, in the
green green grassy hills of this countryside, as far as I can tell. He
seems to be enjoying himself. He does not seem to care, as he arcs
across once again and comes tumbling through the air.

(182) The Punk That I Am.

We have got section 4 to do today. We have to copy it up and to
laminate it. Also we have intersection 4 to do. This will be enough
for one day. We will do section 10 and intersection 10 another
day. The lecturers take their time on these things. There is no real
rush.

I get talking to Sam East and we get talking about technical

information. He has a lot more to say than me. He says that he has
his electronics up in the attic. He also says that all his information
gets saved from his computer electronically up into his attic, which
makes things easier for him. "Yes it is all about getting organised."
I say into response to what he has just told me. I run out of things
to say to him and so I move on. I also get to have a chat with Pete
Willoughby, although I cannot remember exactly what we discuss.
I notice that he does most of the talking. He seems to know what
is what.

I on the other hand am feeling rebellious. I do not like to have to

do this work. I do not agree to the information that is given to us. I
take delight in writing a damning report for one of the lecturers to
read up and mark. I poo poo this syllabus in my report. I express
my distaste and I take delight in expressing this as I feel that I am
stifled. I feel that I am corralled into a learning position that is
unwarranted and I refused to go there. So my only course of
action is to flag up these errors. To highlight this travesty. It will
not make me popular, but it will make me feel much better inside
because this is how I truly feel and so I express myself truthfully
and passionately as the punk that I am.

____________________________________________________

August 2018

____________________________________________________

(183) Solving Polynomials By Factorising.

(184) I Just Do What I Like.
(185) Our Familiarity.
(186) A Curse On The Library Door.
(187) "Maybe Tomorrow." Is My Answer.
(188) Aut And Tistic.
(189) The Dream Relationship.
(190) Within A White Light Sight.
(191) Slow Waters.
(192) Trapped In My Room.
(193) Mr Quench.
(194) She's Behind You!
(195) Thank You.
(196) The Privileges Of Royalty.
(197) Run Free My 'Raleigh Nitro.'
(198) My Inmates And My Artistry.
(199) A Fabric Of Time.
(200) Unconscionably.
(201) How Do We Know When We Forget Something?
(202) A Transposition Of Love x.
(203) The Cost Of Living.
(204) "Don't Bring Me Down."
(205) As I Ratchet Up This Musical Moment In Time.
(206) A Walk In The Park.
(207) Within A Community.
(208) A Prime Position.
(209) So What Is In Your Sandwich?
(210) Why?
(211) My Girlfriend And Her Peculiar Performing Pet.
(212) Too Much For Me Now.
(213) I Wish That I Was In A Band.
(214) Sober Thoughts.
(215) This Day.
(216) In The Extreme.
(217) We Put The Pieces Together.
(218) Because I Am Free.
(219) There Is No Handle.
(220) I Seek.
(221) This Is My Direction.
(222) I Am Different.
(223) Wound Around.
(224) These Inconsistencies. (They wake me up into a lucid
dream.)
(225) The Property Game.
(226) A People In Another Place.
(227) Dark Secrets In Dark Institutions.
(228) On Top Off The World.
(229) A Locksmith's Nightmare.
(230) Sad To Leave.
(231) Here And Now.
(232) Our Reunion. (The Three 'A Me Goes.')
(233) Things Seem A Little Wooden.
1-8-18

(183) Solving Polynomials By Factorising.

I am going through nth degree polynomials here looking at the
process of factorising. I have been intrigued by the fact that there
are some 5th degree polynomials that are unsolvable. Here I work
up the nth levels of polynomials and the patterns that are
apparent for solving these polynomials. So with this I am using
inductive logic. Ultimately I am considering that maybe there is a
new type of number with unusual properties waiting to be
discovered that will make these difficult unsolvable 5th degree
(quintic) polynomials solvable. This would be analogous to some
quadratic polynomials needing imaginary numbers which needed
to be discovered in order to be solved.

A solvable Quadratic:

x^2-5x+6 = (x-a)(x-b)
**********
a+b=-5
ab=6
**********
-2 + -3 =-5
(-2)(-3)=6

therefore a=2, b=3

(x-2)(x-3) => (x=2)(x=3)

A Solvable Cubic:

(x-1)(x^2+6-2x-3x) => (x-1)(x^2-5x+6) => x^3-5x^2+6x-x^2+5x-6

=> x^3-6x^2+11x-6

*************
a+b+c=-6
ab+bc+ac=11
abc=-6
*************

-1 + -2 + -3 =-6
(-1)(-2)+(-2)(-3)+(-3)(-1)=2+6+3=11
(-1)(-2)(-3)=-6

(x-1)(x-2)(x-3)

(x=1)(x=2)(x=3)

A Solvable Quartic:

Ax^4+Bx^3+Cx^2+Dx+E
******************
a+b+c+d=B
ab+ac+ad+bc+bd+cd=C
abc+abd+acd+bcd=D
abcd=E
******************
(x-a/A)(x-b/A)(x-c/A)(x-d/A)

A Solvable Quintic:
Ax^5+Bx^4+Cx^3+Dx^2+Ex+F
******************
a+b+c+d+e=B
ab+ac+ad+ae+bc+bd+be+cd+ce+de=C
abc+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=D
abcd+abce+abde+bcde=E
abcde=F
******************
(x-a/A)(x-b/A)(x-c/A)(x-d/A)(x-e/A)

An Unsolvable Quintic:

y = x^5-10x+2

Use a little calculus in the xy plane to show the polynomial attains

a maximum at -2¼ and a minimum at 2¼. These are all the real
roots of y'=5x^4-10, and there are no other local maxima or
minima.

5(x^2-10^1/2)(x^2+10^1/2)

The graph crosses the x axis once to the left of -2¼, once between
-2¼ and 2¼, and once to the right of 2¼. Therefore y=x^5-10x+2
has 3 real roots and two complex roots.

Ax^5+Bx^4+Cx^3+Dx^2+Ex+F
1x^5+0x^4+0x^3+0x^2+10x+2
******************
B=a+b+c+d+e=0
C=ab+ac+ad+ae+bc+bd+be+cd+ce+de=0
D=abc+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=0
E=abcd+abce+abde+bcde=10
F=abcde=2
******************
(x-a/1)(x-b/1)(x-c/1)(x-d/1)(x-e/1)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Guess answer number 1:

a=-3,b=-i/3,c=-2,d=i/3,e=3

B=0

C=(ab=i)+(ac=6)+(ad=i)+(ae=-9)+(bc=2i/3)
+(bd=1/9)+(be=-1)+(cd=-2/3)+(ce=-6)+(de=1)
=[6-9+1/9-1-2/3-6] + [i+i+2i/3]
=-10.'5' + 2.'6'i

D=(abc=-2i)+abd+abe+acd+ace+bcd+bce+cde=0

F=2

(184) I Just Do What I Like.

We take it in turns to pick up our push bike, walk in circles and
then throw the push bike to the ground. My push bike is in two
bits now. The carrying rack fell off. There is one lass who came late
to this group session. She said that she fell asleep again. For some
reason I am not in a group. I am just mixing in with various groups
at random whenever I can fit in.

Later I find myself in a hut with four others. One of the organisers
comes in with his clip board. He has information on the other four
people but he does not have any information on me. "Don't worry
about it. It makes sense. I am not really a part of this group." I tell
him, but he still radios through to someone to cover his back, to
make sure that I am okay to be left behind. We are all a bit of a
rabble to be honest, but we are all having fun.

(185) Our Familiarity.

When I am with Lisa there is a little bit of canoodling and
sometimes we may contodjulate. We work this building that I am
familiar with. Maybe a little too familiar at times. I think this as I
slide down the staircase banister and she grabs me by my arm.
She guides me kindly. She reassures me, she lets me know. I know
now that I should not do some of the things that I do, but I like to
try things out. I put my arms around her sometimes and she does
not seem to mind, as we interact. Our familiarity is what I like to
explore and what I like to find out about her. This is what I like to
share with her, because I enjoy the fact that she feels so kind to
me and sometimes when I least expect it, I find that I think about
her. I find that she is often on my mind.

Our Familiarity.
 When I am with Lisa
there is a little bit of canoodling
and sometimes we may contodjulate.
We work this building that I am familiar with.
Maybe a little too familiar at times.
I think this as I slide down the staircase banister
and she grabs me by my arm.
She guides me kindly.
She reassures me,
she lets me know.
I know now that I should not do some of the things that I do, but I
like to try things out.
I put my arms around her sometimes
and she does not seem to mind, as we interact.
Our familiarity is what I like to explore
and what I like to find out about her.
This is what I like to share with her,
because I enjoy the fact that she feels so kind to me
and sometimes when I least expect it,
I find that I think about her.
I find that she is often on my mind.

2-8-18

(186) A Curse On The Library Door.

I listen and I watch my grandma interact with some young
musicians. She is a musician too you see and she is on the phone
to one of them even though she is in the same room as him. There
is some friendly banter between them. She throws her tissue at
him which falls short of its target and she is laughing.
I walk home from this gig with my sister and when we almost get
home I see some hands waving at us as if to instruct us to get
down. 'This is very odd.' I think to myself. I notice that my dad is
laid down half hidden in someone's front garden. He waves me
over and instructs me to get down with his hand all at the same
time. My sister Maz by this time is further on up the road. When I
get to my dad he tells me that there is a crazed murdering
madman in the neighbourhood. "Great that is all we need!" I reply
sarcastically to my dad.

So a while later of crawling around, I make my way covertly and

under the cover of night. I make my way into a local library and I
chat with the librarian in there. I am slightly disturbed by the way
that the library door just opens up automatically when anyone
arrives in there, with that crazed mad murdering madman around
this neighbourhood. As I chat with the librarian I realise that she is
very much together. So much more together than me. She is not
phased by a troublesome crazed mad murderer in this district, as
if she is somehow protected with her public empire of books that
surrounds her and as I shit myself everytime that fucking library
door automatically opens. I warm to her as I stir and I let some
feelings inside me occur.

(187) "Maybe Tomorrow." Is My Answer.

I am planning on going out doing some shopping soon. I am with
Lisa. I am toting up all the shopping items that I need. I did not
know that I had run so low on food. Lisa is asking me questions
about my shopping habits and I am having to think hard about
this:

"I know that there is one milk left." Says Lisa informatively. I think
about this and I remember seeing a green semi skimmed milk
carton. I think to myself that I will definitely need to go out
shopping soon, only because Lisa is quizzing me on this, otherwise
I would not have thought about food shopping at all. And so the
big question is ... ?

3-8-18

(188) Aut And Tistic.

I am on holiday with two autistic brothers. One is ten and the
other brother is fourteen years old. They have difficulties
assimilating themselves into any social order. The fourteen year
old is really getting on a lot better now. He has become more
confident around people now. I give these brothers a hug
sometimes. The ten year old is a little more awkward, but they
usually appear to be happy. They are very excited at the moment
and full of energy which is always great to see. Although they have
their difficulties, they are both very likeable characters.

(189) The Dream Relationship.

I show how it goes in a relationship. I set an example you see. I
match a different mood for my girl. One for each day of the week.
I play them to her like a true craftsman you see. I take on the lead
as I am so true. I am a shining example of how a relationship can
go. So I must say that she follows me on with my knowledge and
she is eager to know in her own most beautiful way.

Then I wake up in my bachelor room on my own as a single. My

reality is so different to my dream, but as I spend so much of my
life fast asleep this is not as bad as it would first seem.
 The Dream Relationship.

I show how it goes in a relationship.

I set an example you see.
I match a different mood for my girl.
One for each day of the week.
I play them to her
like a true craftsman you see.
I take on the lead
as I am so true.

I am a shining example
of how a relationship can go.
So I must say
that she follows me on
with my knowledge
and she is eager to know
in her own most beautiful way.

Then I wake up in my bachelor room

on my own as a single.
My reality is so different to my dream,
but as I spend so much of my life fast asleep
this is not as bad as it would first seem.

4-8-18

(190) Within A White Light Sight.

As I move around here I am struck by how close I am to this
woman and how white the concrete is here. The concrete roads
and driveways are so clean and white in colour that I marvel at
this, as the scorching hot sun bleaches everything in sight, in this
white light.
\|/
-O-
/|\

There is more to this but my memory has faded.

5-8-18

(191) Slow Waters.

Slowly I guide my boat back to shore. This boat bumps onto the
quayside as the waters gently rise and fall. So I have just got back
to this marina and I moor up. I do not know where I have been as I
reflect into these waters. As I trance out and stare into the light
that flickers upon this surface swell. As I listen to these waters lap
upon the side of my boat, that bobs about slowly afloat.

(192) Trapped In My Room.

I make my way in song. I make my way as I reach out along in my
mind. Is there a knock on my door? Or am I hearing things? It was
like a tap on the wood. I open my room door and I look across the
landing, but there is no one there. So I go back into my room.
Suddenly there is a crash! And a bash and a tumble and a thump
on my wall. I rush to my door, but as I push my door to go out
there is something on the floor. My door will not open. My door is
shut tight. So what has happened to me this night!?
 Trapped In My Room.

I make my way in song.

I make my way as I reach out along,
in my mind.
Is there a knock on my door?
Or am I hearing things?
It was like a tap on the wood.
I open my room door
and I look across the landing,
but there is no one there.
So I go back into my room.
Suddenly there is a crash!
And a bash and a tumble
and a thump on my wall.
I rush to my door,
but as I push my door to go out
there is something on the floor.
My door will not open.
My door is shut tight.
So what has happened
to me this night!?

(193) Mr Quench.
I am out on the town and I am stood talking to this lass. There is a
lad sat outside a pub who we have a brief chat with also. He is sat
at a pub bench and after he has had a chat with us I notice that he
gets deeply involved with his writing. He has his head down
scribbling away. I notice that he has a newspaper with him also
and I wonder what he is writing.
There are some big old Victorian houses here that have been
converted into flats. They have stone steps outside their front
doors. As we are chatting, this lass and I, we notice two lads
walking down some of these stone steps. But one of these lads
has coke cans fixed to his clothes. He is covered in coke cans all
over his jacket, all over his jeans, there are these coke cans held
within special pockets just big enough for coke cans to fit into. We
both find ourselves looking at this lad walking down these stone
steps with his friend and he is really struggling. He is really
encumbered with the weight of all these coke cans.

"I think that he has a problem there." I point out to this lass as we
get distracted from our conversation.

"Yes, I think that he has a coke problem." She adds as we both

start laughing and we watch this lad struggle along, as he heaves
himself along down the street.

"That's funny." I conclude, stating the obvious and then we are

lost for words for a while as we are both a little puzzled as to why
anyone would need so many cans of coke.

6-8-18

(194) She's Behind You!

"She's Behind You!"
"Oh No She's Not!"
"Oh Yes She Is!"

I am walking along down the path next to the road with this bloke.
I notice a woman outside her front garden pottering around, when
I am suddenly aware that the bloke who was walking along the
road with me has vanished. I look further and I notice that he is
hastily walking off, before he hides behind some bins. It is then
that I remember that he owes some money to the butcher. I
wonder to myself, 'Maybe she is that butcher.'

It is ages before she goes into her house. I am standing there and
then when I think that she has finished in her garden. I tell the
bloke with hand signals that it is all clear. Only for her to pop back
up in her garden again. So then I have to tell him to get back, but
eventually she goes back into her house. By this time Lisa has seen
this bloke who is called Dave. Lisa and Dave are best friends. So
now all three of us are able to walk past this woman's house and
this is when I realise that somehow I have gotten involved in
Dave's drama.

(195) Thank You.

I am leaving this place and this young lad has made me a going
away present. He says that it took him six days for him to make it.
It is all neatly compacted up into cubes and planks and various
other shapes that are all well wrapped up that builds up into a
bigger box. I dwell on this going away present and I am lost for
words. I would really like to show how grateful I am. I would like to
show my gratitude to this young lad, but I really do not know how
to. I really did not think that anyone would do such a thing for me!

(196) The Privileges Of Royalty.

I am aware of all the things that the royalty has to go through. All
the pomp and ceremony. All their responsibilities. I mean a young
royal has to really want to have this position. I look at the Queen
and she tells me genuinely that her son really wants this position
as a royal. So then, as if she is putting in a good word for her son
to get a new job, the Queen goes on to tell me:

"I think that he really wants to be a royal because he is really

motivated for this position and because he really wants a mobile
computer game."

I am staggered. I am sure that there are easier ways to go about

getting this. Rather than going through the whole trouble of
making sure that you are incarnated into the life of royalty. All that
just in order to get yourself a mobile computer game! Does the
soul and spirit of royalty not have a better goal than this to work
to? Surely they could create a mission in life that is a little more
inspiring than that!

7-8-18

(197) Run Free My 'Raleigh Nitro.'

I bought my Raleigh Nitro push bike back in 1995. It cost me £100
bran new. Sadly my push bike now needs all new bearings. It has a
broken foot peddle from when I fell off it and it also has a
puncture too. I cannot justify doing my push bike up, but I cannot
bring myself to scrapping my push bike either. It has been so good
to me over all these years. So it remains locked up to a rail outside
in the back garden in a sorry state, rusty and unused. So this
brings about my dream that is written up in this verse:

Run Free My 'Raleigh Nitro.'

I go into the build of a child.

Just my push bike and I.
As I ride down
 the path to the coast.
As I make my way
each and every day
to the sea.
My push bike and I
we run free.

With songs on my mind

and with hope in my heart.
I find myself down
to the coast by the sea.
My push bike and I
we run free.
Everywhere I go
my Raleigh Nitro and I.
My Raleigh Nitro and I
we run free.
All through the years
my Raleigh Nitro and I.
My push bike and I
we run free.

8-8-18

(198) My Inmates And My Artistry.

Because I know what they all work to, I initially cope very well
here. I get myself in a book. I get myself in a book as someone
who really knows exactly what he is doing in jail. I come up with
exactly the right deal and even the inmates here are impressed
with such the artistry that I have within me. I flick through this
book that I am in and I am surprised : O I am surprised to see my
work in there. All the visualisations in black and white with its
deep contrasting content and how this really shows off the deep
feelings of such a serious nature and I get the emoji of the facial
features of those people who are around me and who I have come
into contact with. I just know what to do with them and I am very
confident with my work, but even so I am still surprised : O I am
surprised at how well my work is being received. This has helped
me to become accepted within this prison population that I find
myself in. Somehow I have carved out a social status for myself
that I otherwise would not have been able to enjoy within this
population.

9-8-18

(199) A Fabric Of Time.

We have our host and we all go up on stage and so the patterns
change. Horizontal stripes merge into vertical stripes. Dots explete
out into squares. Colours ignite and then they disintegrate and
they all fold out in a line. Then without warning. All of a sudden a
freaky person with the confidence of a crazy invades my space.
Without warning he arrives at this place here right now. In dull
light, In the darkness of his pose. His face finds its place in my
sight and it wakes me up out of this night.

(200) Unconscionably.
I am not sure what I am doing. I think a lot about what I should do
here. I get prepared and I think about all that I should do in this
time.

"I have just been shopping." I tell my woman, as I stare at the

bulging bags on the back seat on my car that I have filled up, but I
am still not quite sure if I have done the right thing here.
"Good man." My woman says in reply to me, but I am not sure if I
hear her correctly.

"Sorry?" I say, as I make sure that I listen to her more carefully this
time.

"Man." She says quietly to me this time and she seems to be

preoccupied in her thoughts as she says this. I get that she does
not want to patronise me. I think that she is grateful for what I
have done, but she does not want to treat me like a child.

10-8-18

(201) How Do We Know When We Forget Something?

I get myself out of that cave, but not before I forget everything
that I have just been through. I meant to remember everything
this time. I meant to remember all of my adventure, but now all I
remember is running back through that cave from my adventure. I
remember that still body of water beside the pathway within
those cold grey walls and I remember the pale grey light that lit up
bright within the cave walls. I remember the equipment of a
guitarist on the floor, but the guitarist was not there, by that water
in the cave, as I ran past.

I come up to a narrow passageway and as I do so I wonder how I

am going to get past those people. They have shoes and shoe
boxes piled up high from the cave floor. They are in my way and it
is just then within that pondering, within the negotiating of that
gap that I forget my adventure. It is just then that I realise, as I
search my mind frantically, that all those thoughts that I once had
have escaped me completely. I have clearly forgotten that one
true adventure that I once had, the one that I had meant to
remember!

(202) A Transposition Of Love x.

"Love, love a love, love, love. I love you." I get these loving
messages from an extraterrestrial species. There is a geometry to
these loving messages and it is elliptic in shape. I feel these elliptic
messages as circles that are stretched down by gravity and I feel it
in that particular way:

So I transpose the general formula:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

Transposed explicitly to y where a<b we get:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

=> b^2/y^2 = 1 - a^2/x^2

=> y^2/b^2 = 1/(1 - a^2/x^2)

=> y^2 = b^2/(1 - a^2/x^2)

=> y = +&-[b^2/(1 - a^2/x^2)]^1/2

Transposed explicitly to x where a<b we get:

a^2/x^2 + b^2/y^2 = 1

=> a^2/x^2 = 1 - b^2/y^2

=> x^2/a^2 = 1/(1 - b^2/y^2)

=> x^2 = a^2/(1 - b^2/y^2)

=> x = +&-[a^2/(1 - b^2/y^2)]^1/2

(203) The Cost Of Living.

I am with these two women. I do not know who they are and yet I
know that they are with me. So I drive these two women about
and yet when I go to park up I am on my push bike alone. There is
this woman who is waving over to me with her money in her hand
in this open space that leads onto a country cafe. 'She must be
mistaken talking to me.' I think to myself. I nod at her to
aknowledge her, but she is rude and loud and demanding
attention, so I mostly ignore her and her burdensome ways. It
feels a little awkward as I lock up my push bike to the rusty old
railings. I wonder if I am on camera here. I am using this cafe so I
should be alright to park up here, but this world is of business it is
mean and it does not like to give without taking. It does not like to
give without making some money.

11-8-18

(204) "Don't Bring Me Down."

There is this strange little man messing around. He is only three
foot two. He does not look so real in this dark dark light. I view
him and he is acting such a fool. It seems to me to be obvious that
he is going to let himself down and nothing is going right for him
in this fickle town, but then nothing ever could, as he sets himself
up to fail. He is really no good you see and I will tell you his tale.

Out in the garden he is fixed to a tree with his bits and bobs and a
drill, as far as I can see. He does his little jobs in no time, but then
he is stuck up in a tree. He is a strange little man as far as I can
see. "Don't bring me down." He says, as he is only three foot two,
stuck up in that tree with nothing better to do. He is being guided
in such a dull dull light, as he gets himself around within this dark
dark night. He is such a dull dull man and there is something not
quite right. It is not just about his little height. He acts a little
strange and he is an unusual sight. He is that little man who is just
not quite right.

"Don't Bring Me Down."

There is this strange little man messing around.

He is only three foot two.
He does not look so real
in this dark dark light.
I view him and he is acting such a fool.
It seems to me to be so obvious
that he is going to let himself down
and nothing is going right for him
in this fickle town,
but then nothing ever could,
as he sets himself up to fail.
He is really no good you see
and I will tell you his tale.

Out in the garden

he is fixed to a tree
with his bits and bobs and a drill,
 as far as I can see.
He does his little jobs in no time,
but then he is stuck up in a tree.
He is a strange little man
as far as I can see.
"Don't bring me down." He says,
as he is only three foot two,
stuck up in that tree
with nothing better to do.
He is being guided
in such a dull dull light,
as he gets himself around
within this dark dark night.
He is such a dull dull man
and there is something not quite right.
It is not just about his height.
He acts a little strange
and he is an unusual sight.
He is that little man
who is just not quite right.

This poem above is sourced from a dream that was a little creepy.
I wrote this dream up as soon as I woke up from my dream. I was
all bleary eyed and between the sleep state and wakefulness
when I wrote this dream up. This was a dream that gave me chills
down my spine. It has been so very difficult to put words to this
dream as, as in many dreams it was very surreal and so very much
out of this physical world, but after a lot of deliberation and care
the above poem is the best account that I can give.

12-8-18
(205) As I Ratchet Up This Musical Moment In Time.
I am sorting out the pipework here. There are great long rails of
music score to fix, as I get my ratchet out and I loosen the rusty
nuts free from the clasps. I take down some of this rusty pipework
that comes in staves. They are five horizontal, parallel pipes with
notes on them and some of these pipes have become rusty. I take
them down to clean them up only to put them back up again later
once they have been cleaned up.

Mark Reynolds is here. He wants me to follow along with him.

There is some sort of music going on and he does not want us to
miss it. "I am sorting out this pipework." I tell him, but Mark is
persistent. Although I am determined to get this rusty old musical
pipework cleaned up and put back up. I decide to take time out to
go and follow Mark, as this is a rare musical opportunity that Mark
is wanting me to go to with him. "I'll sort this pipework out later
then." I say to Mark having been persuaded, half reluctant to
leave the work that I am doing and half fixed upon this musical
opportunity that I will be sharing with Mark.

The musical opportunity with Mark is not the stave pipework that
I am currently on now, but a much cleaner and simpler musical
experience to ratchet up, because it is more of a single solid bar
which is much thinner and made up from stainless steel. It runs
along horizontally in a thin clean silvery grey colour which is quite
impressive really. This is how I see it anyway. It is within a circle of
my mind at this moment of time, because it is a figment of my
imagination at this moment in time. You see I have a thing about
my timing and the time signatures that I keep and that I use. So
this is something that I am really interested in looking into.
(206) A Walk In The Park.
I wake up and I dream. I go into a dream through some hypertext
that spells out the word 'dream.' There is a man who I have gotten
to know. He is the stereotypical old professor who dashes about
and gets confused. Who loses his glasses and bumbles about
intelligently. He is busy and troubled and he works so very hard.

So one day I am out for a walk in the park, when this professor is
so rude as to push past in front of me. And as he does so he falls
down hard. He bangs his head on the wall of a bouncy castle that
has been inflated in the park. I am in shock and a man in the park
points his finger at me, "He pushed him!" He shouts out accusing
me of causing the professor to fall. The man shouts this out just as
the professors head bounces back up off the bouncy castle wall.
The professor then replies in an instant, "Oh no he didn't." And
with that the professor dashes up the bandstand steps in front of
me. Eager to get on with the work of the day and I carry on with
my walk in the park, untroubled and relaxed and with nothing to
say.

(207) Within A Community.

I have many channelled recordings on Youtube. I am just deciding
to what position I come in with all of these channelled recordings.
I see the length of one of my recordings as one hour thirty three
seconds and I slot myself in here somehow. It is just like I park my
car up inbetween other cars that are parked up at the side of the
road. The way that I slot myself and my car in here is awesome,
which means that I come about fifth or sixth place with all those
other musicians around me. I am happy with this position. To be
honest I am just happy to be a part of this community of
musicians.
13-8-18

(208) A Prime Position.

I keep slotting two audio tape cassettes into a plastic case and
then taking them out again. I keep rearranging them to find the
best way to fit them into this plastic case. There is also a little
booklet that goes in with them. I decide to place them in a 619
position. The digit one being the booklet. The six and nine being
the two cassettes as the cassettes are thicker at one end. I wonder
if 619 is a prime number.

So if no number between 1 and the square root of 619 divides into

619 exactly without a remainder then 619 is a prime number.

Using the iterative nth root formula we get the following

calculations for the square root of 619:

nthRoot(A) => (1/n)[(n-1)x + A/(x^n-1)] = x

This is an iterative formula where the two x values to the left of

the equals sign can start at any value, but a close approximation to
the solution is preferred. The resulting x value to the right of the
equals sign will become a closer approximation to the solution.
Put this x value into the two x variables to the left of the equals
sign and then keep repeating to keep getting closer results:

nthRoot(619) => (1/2)[(2-1)x + 619/x^(2-1)] = x

starting x value can be any value. So I decide to start with x=20.

nthRoot(619)iteration(1) => (1/2)[(2-1)20 + 619/20^(2-1)]

= (1/2)[20+30.95] = 50.95/2 = 25.475
nthRoot(619)iteration(2) => (1/2)[(2-1)25.475 + 619/25.475^(2-
1)]
= (1/2)[25.475 + 619/25.475]
= (1/2)[25.475 + 24.2983316977]
= 24.8866658489 this is a close enough approximation to the
square root of 619 for the purpose of finding out fit 619 is a prime
number.

So if no number greater than one and less than 24 divides into 619
to give an integer answer then 619 is a prime number.

A is the value being investigated (619).

m is the values between 1 and 24.
x is the value to the left of the decimal point.
y is the value to the right of the decimal point.
(If y equals zero in any of the answers below then A is not a prime
number.)
*The asterisk indicates where m is a prime number.

A/m=x.y

619/2*=309.5
619/3*=206.'3'rec
619/4=154.75
619/5*=123.8
619/6=103.1'6'rec
619/7*=88.'428571'rec
619/8=77.375
619/9=68.'7'rec
619/10=61.9
619/11*=56.'27'rec
619/12=51.58'3'rec
619/13*=47.'615384'rec
619/14=44.2142857143 to 10 d.p.
619/15=41.2'6'rec
619/16=38.6875
619/17*=36.4117647059 to 10 d.p.
619/18=34.3'8'rec
619/19*=32.5789473684 to 10 d.p.
619/20=30.95
619/21=29.'476190'rec
619/22=28.1'36'rec
619/23*=26.9130434783 to 10 d.p.

There is no y value above that is equal to zero and so this is proof

that 619 is a prime number.

(209) So What Is In Your Sandwich?

As I go through this space. I feel myself, with my taste, getting on
with things. As I fold my sandwich so to speak and I collect my
human experience for what it is. As I bite into the softness and the
freshness of this bread that is my life right now, where I have
made it into this place of discernment right here somehow. As I
take this bite and enjoy this feast I feel that I still have a lot more
to enjoy now.

14-8-18

(210) Why?
There is a lot of pillocking about. Two people jump on me and
start writing on my head. I get them back immediately in anger. I
get some ink on their heads too. I lose my patience with them.
Violently and angrily I pen and ink their heads, to get my revenge
on them. I press on hard on their scalp with my pen. So now we all
look a right mess. I still have to get my jobs done here with all this
graffiti on my head. My mum is not happy with me. I get told off
by her for my behaviour. I get a good dressing down by her for
what I have done back in anger and for letting those people write
on my head. This writing on peoples heads has gotten well out of
hand now. I feel self conscious as I push bike through the streets
with black ink scribble on my head. It hurts too when people
scribble on your head. It is like a monkey scrub. When people
scrub their knuckles on your scalp and you know how painful that
is! I do not know how this all started. I feel that I have been
attacked for no reason. I am annoyed that people just go around
scribbling around on other peoples heads. Why do they do that?

15-8-18

(211) My Girlfriend And Her Peculiar Performing Pet.

I am in this office unit with my girlfriend. I am in here having a
shower. My girlfriend is here also whilst I am having this shower.
There is not a lot of room in this office unit and the shower is in
the way of my girlfriend. She cannot get past me. I am naked in
this shower and she is stood there unable to get past me into the
next part of this small office unit. "Do you want me to stop my
shower so that you can get past?" I ask her.

"No, you're alright." She replies, but I do stop my shower and I do

let her get past me in this small office unit. Next she gets this little
pet thing in a small cage out. I am fascinated, I have never seen a
pet like that before.

"You have got some muscles you have." I say to this small creature
in its cage. As it gets up off all fours, sits down on its bottom and
then flexies its biceps at me, then it looks up to me in silent
expectation. "Well! I have never seen a creature like you before." I
say to it in wonderment as I look down at this strange creature in
its small cage whilst I am naked and dripping wet in this shower of
mine. My girlfriend is in the next room of this small flimsy office
unit now. She is sorting things out apparently.

(212) Too Much For Me Now.

I go into my channelings and I pick up some new energies that I
have never picked up before. All the chatter goes into such a high
vibration until I just cannot understand what I hear anymore. I do
not make out on a human level the messages that I receive
anymore. So these new messages that I get now I decide to leave,
because they are too much for me now, for sure.

16-8-18

(213) I Wish That I Was In A Band.

Andy and I are out in a pub listening to this band. We are sat next
to each other at a table fooling around pretending to play the
keyboard on this table top. I mimic the sounds of the band that is
playing tonight. I pretend to play their music, as I splay my hands
out to reach those difficult notes on this formica top. Then
suddenly I exclaim, "Where's the keys!" I put my head down until
my face is right up to the formica. So that my nose is nearly
touching it and I take a good close look at my pretend keyboard in
this goofy kind of way. Andy is sat next to me and he pretends to
play his keyboard also. I reach across over to his side of the table
and I pretend to press a button on his pretend keyboard. I keep
looking over to his side of the table to see how he pretends to play
his keyboard and he is really good at it. He is really putting some
thought into his actions. He is concentrating so hard that he does
not let anything distract him from his imaginary keyboard. Maybe
this is because like me, he is a musician too.

17-8-18

(214) Sober Thoughts.

I meet this new woman in a new place. Not too far away. In
another physical time space. In another space-time dimension.
Because this is a new way of playing and this is a new way of
thinking. Cheers to all those people drinking and sinking so deep.
Deep down into those densities. So here I am thinking that I am
the only one, who does not do drugs. Those drugs that actively
hug you into an addictive relationship. Those drugs that hug you
into submission, on a trip. On a pub mission's pissed up
permission slip.

Sober Thoughts.

I meet this new woman

in a new place.
Not too far away.
In another physical time space.
In another space-time dimension.
Because this is a new way of playing
and this is a new way of thinking.
 Cheers to all those people drinking
and sinking so deep.
Deep down
into those densities.
So here I am thinking
that I am the only one,
who does not do drugs.

Those drugs that actively hug you

into an addictive relationship.
Those drugs that hug you
into submission,
on a trip.
On a pub mission's
pissed up permission slip.

(215) This Day.

I find myself with the luxury and the pleasure to choose. To
choose where I take my life. I choose how I move on with my life.
How I move along this leafy green hill that I climb up and the
traffic that I find along the way. As I look through those branches
to that sunshine mind that glints within the sway of the breeze.
The sunshine mind that glints within the subtlety of the light that
shines down on this day.

(216) In The Extreme.

Okay then let us draw a line in the sand. Let us decide now where
the line is between myself and true reality. The difference
between what I think is happening and what is actually
happening:

I dream of a tornado with its funnel of cloud spinning up to the

sky. I am told in my dream, "That's not a tornado. This is a
tornado!" And suddenly the funnel of cloud gets so much thicker
and darker and spins so much faster, out of control, up into the
sky. So now the dream becomes so much more real and I feel so
much more emotionally charged in the extreme than I ever did
before.

I become emotionally attached to the mathematics of a swirl on

the xy plane that leads up to the sky along the z axis. I see
cylindrical coordinates and I see a cone:

Cylinder z: z = (x^2)/(a^2) + (y^2)/(b^2)

Cone z: (a^2)z = x^2 + (y^2)/(b^2)

I see a cone with an elliptical cross section and a vertex at the

origin. So then the formula becomes:

ax^2 + by^2 + cz^2 + 2fyz + 2gxz +2hxy = 0

if and only if,

[a h g ]
[h b f ] = A
[g f c ]

where the determinant of this matrix equals zero, |A| = 0

Working out the determinant of this 3 x 3 matrix we get:

|A| = a(bc - f^2) - h(hc - fg) + g(hf - bg) = 0

----------------------------------------------------------
reference only:

[a b c ]
[d e f ] = M
[g h i ]

|M| = a(ei - fh) - b(di - fg) + c(dh - eg)

-----------------------------------------------------------

19-8-18

(217) We Put The Pieces Together.

I am living in the same block as this Liverpudlian woman. I listen
intently to her accent as she speaks. We seem to get on well.
Maybe she likes me. It is unusual that I live in the same block as
her. This would have been unheard of before, but things move on.
Things change and I am privileged to be living here now. Yes, I
have the privilege to live here and that is all that there is to it. You
see things move on in opposites and this is the attraction. This is
not a puzzle, but the analogy is there.

We Put The Pieces Together.

 I am living in the same block
as this Liverpudlian woman.
I listen intently to her accent
as she speaks.

We seem to get on well.

Maybe she likes me.
It is unusual that I live
in the same block as her.
This would have been unheard of before,
but things move on.
Things change
and I am privileged to be living here now.

Yes, I have the privilege to live here

and that is all that there is to it.
You see things move on in opposites
and this is the attraction.
This is not a puzzle,
but the analogy is there.

(218) Because I Am Free.

I am just talking about my playing style here and nothing else, as a
musician in Torbay. I plug and play. What else can I say? I go
around by the houses and I meet myself down by the cut. Down
the busy streets where most of the traffic goes. I do not know
what other people think of me. I do not know what other people
think of my style of playing. With my acoustic guitar and the style
of songs that I choose to sing. I guess that I am privileged to be
doing these rounds at all. I am excited to be on the circuit here. To
be a musician in Torbay is a very fine thing indeed. Let loose the
artist in me and my creativity is freed. Let loose the animal in me
and take him off his lead. Let loose this dog to roam into the starry
night. Free to do his repertoire into the morning light.

20-8-18

(219) There Is No Handle.

There is this man in a pub. He is not getting drunk but he is having
a drink. He has a dance but he does not dance too much. What is
the chance that we all meet this man in the same pub? I say a pub
but in reality it is more like a cricket pavilion. There are no words
to describe this scene and if there were then we would not know
exactly what these words all mean. Somewhere in the ether like
smoke in the sky, like wispy clouds passing by. I cannot put a shape
to it. I cannot describe my emotions towards these people in this
pub but there is some trickery going on. There is falsity in the
news. There is underhanded reporting supporting certain peoples
views. I cannot put a handle on it. I am at a loss to explain, but
deep inside my heart the essence of this situation is as clear as it
is inane. We are lied to by the press. The truth is not for us to see.
This scene is so contrite, but this is how it is all meant to be.
Playing certain mind games to baffle you and I. This news is so
false and so we should just let it pass us by. Too foolish to dwell
on. As flimsy as can be. Turn away your attention now. There are
better things for us to see.

21-8-18

(220) I Seek.
My dreams are hiding from me. They watch me from a far, deep
inside my dosey mind. All manner of surrealism swirls around
within this distant place that I struggle to find. My dream friends
they play with me. They tease me with their hide and seek. In
silent demure they watch me, but they never speak. They keep
their eyes on me from this distant space. Deep inside my slumber I
get a glimpse of them from time to time, but they play around
with me. They seem to be so shy. Deep inside my memory,
vaguely in my minds eye.

Show yourself and speak with me and tell me what you know! I do
my inner work but you never seem to show. You always run away
from me. Show yourself, speak to me my dream friends. I love you
from my heart, because you are a part of me, but you are so aloof.
Tell me that you love me. I need to see that proof.

In my waking hours I know that you are still around. Silently I hear
you in a sense that's so profound. You tease me with your gifts of
hope and then you run away. My dream friends I want to see you
in the light of day. Tell me that you love me. This I need to hear
you say. Don't hide from me! Why do you run away?

I Seek.

My dreams are hiding from me.

They watch me from a far,
deep inside my dosey mind.
All manner of surrealism swirls around
within this distant place
that I struggle to find.
My dream friends they play with me.
They tease me with their hide and seek.
 In silent demure they watch me,
but they never speak.
They keep their eyes on me
from this distant space.
Deep inside my slumber
I get a glimpse of them from time to time,
but they play around with me.
They seem to be so shy.
Deep inside my memory,
vaguely in my minds eye.

Show yourself and speak with me

and tell me what you know!
I do my inner work
but you never seem to show.
You always run away from me.
Show yourself,
speak to me my dream friends.
I love you from my heart,
because you are a part of me,
but you are so aloof.
Tell me that you love me.
I need to see that proof.

In my waking hours
I know that you are still around.
Silently I hear you
in a sense that's so profound.
You tease me with your gifts of hope
and then you run away.
My dream friends I want to see you
in the light of day.
Tell me that you love me.
 This I need to hear you say.
Don't hide from me!
Why do you run away?

(221) This Is My Direction.

There is myself and this woman. We take people out. We take it in
turns to drive the tram, but we are not always sure which way the
tram goes. Sometimes it becomes more like a trolley bus.
Sometimes it knocks things over. Where are the tracks? I think to
myself and then I find that I have gone wrong way. As I knock
chairs and tables over, I feel so guilty. What will people say?

I take my dad out in his wheelchair. Myself and this lady, I push
him along. I do a nifty little manoeuvre, but I splash him from a
puddle. I make my excuses and I explain myself away, "I was
avoiding that bump when I went into a dip. So I had to turn to the
right to avoid that puddle" I say to my dad in haste. Then I am
suddenly interrupted ...

22-8-18

(222) I Am Different.
All the musicians they all sound the same. They sing la la songs in
their own cheeky way, but I am different and I am here to prove to
you all just what they are like by way of contrast. You see I am me
and they are them. I feel their songs essence in a way that is hard
to describe, but they give off this sense a certain vibe. That is hard
to convey just how they all circumscribe. Our own musical way is
as an acoustic song. I play one of my own and it all goes wrong,
but the other songs are fine songs and I sing them out strong.
Their songs are long songs and my songs are fast. They are short
songs of hope, but I come on last. Just to prove that I am different.
By way of contrast.

23-8-18

(223) Wound Around.

I get confused. I am recording our music on tape. I have this
microphone that I use, but I wander off with it. The cable lead to
this microphone is also joined to the tape recorder, it trails along
behind me, infinitely long wherever I go. Except that this lead is a
thick and black hollow rubber tube. I wander off so far in space
and time. I only realise what I have done when I have wandered
off so far away onto the other side of town. I have to retrace my
steps to get this rubber hollow tube back. It gets wound up in
people. I have to feed it out of every taffle. I have to tug of war it
with people in the general public to get back this hollow rubber
cable on my mic to get back to the tape recorder on the other side
of town. I hope that this makes a good recording and I hope that I
can finally sort this whole thing out.

24-8-18

(224) These Inconsistencies. (They wake me up into a lucid

dream.)
I am sleeping in this room. I am on a floor, someone else has the
bed. This is a meagre existence. I am fidgeting. I am moving
around. I am rearranging myself to find a comfy spot on this floor
as I sleep. But for some reason I suddenly find that I have woken
up and I wander off. I get these flashes of a place that I have never
been to before. I take a good look where I see these scriptures
that are in a language I do not understand. Where the geometry it
kaleidoscopes and then I know that I have travelled to somewhere
else.

It is on my return to my room when I notice that my room has

changed. It is larger, the bed is not there. "Hey! What is going on?"
I shout out loudly. I raise the alarm. I raise my concerns. This man
who must be a guard tells me to shut up and raises his hand with
a dagger in it, but I am not afraid. I know that this place is not real
now. I know that this guard cannot kill me. I grab hold of him with
my bare hands and I shake him. His dagger can do nothing to me. I
am aware now. I am just so aware and I so, do not care now.

You see I have been listening to four binaural beats

simultaneously. I find them on Youtube videos. These beats have a
left and right ear difference of 0.25, 0.5, 0.9 and the Schumann
resonance of 7.83 Hertz. Multiply these four frequencies together
and we get a resulting left and right ear binaural difference of
0.880875 Hertz. For over an hour today I listened to this binaural
frequency vibrate inside my head before I get to go to sleep. This
is the brainwave entrainment that I have been exploring that has
resulted in my lucid dreaming. This is the binaural frequency that
has got deep into my consciousness.

(225) The Property Game.

"Let's say that you are in property. So let's do the property game!"

I get a crumbly old building. Its walls just reminds me of a square

flan base.

"So what would I do? I would be tempted to cover it in butter. I

would smooth out the butter on those flan base walls like render. I
would get all that greasy yellow dairy fat into the gaps of those
crumbly walls. I have my doubts now. Maybe this building is not
worth saving."

I say this having used up the biggest pat of butter for render that
has ever been made.

"Maybe this building is just about to fall down and it is only the
land that it stands on that is worth anything. I really do not know. I
would like to find a property that looks like a scone. I would like to
fill it up with butter, strawberry jam and double cream and then I
would like to eat it all up at eleven O'Clock in the morning. I would
wash it down with the largest cup of tea that the world has ever
seen!"

26-8-18

(226) A People In Another Place.

This is not the first time that I find myself in this elliptic curve
place. A place of slow movement where everything is difficult to
do. My awareness of this place is deep. So I express myself in the
way that I know best and I repeatedly shout out:

"You people, you squarely freak me out! You people, you squarely
freak me out!"

But they will not reveal themselves to me, or maybe I will not
reveal myself to myself. I have this two dimensional visual image
of a white blob in a sky blue background that I shake with my
hand.
But it is such a deep place of slow movement. A space that I
wilfully find my traction in and where I push myself through
forward. It is a place of deep self awareness unlike anywhere else
that I have ever been to before and it takes a long time to get
through it, but finally I eventually find myself back here home
from my 'out there' journey that I have just slowly swum back
through.

(227) Dark Secrets In Dark Institutions.

"It was like we was in a situation comedy. It started off quite fun.
We was having a laugh with it. Every time something went wrong
we would have some fun with it, but now it has all gone horribly
wrong."

I say this to another member of staff, but then there is like an air
of ice cold silence after I have spoken. This silence is only broken
by another staff member whispering to me, "Don't say any more."
I suddenly feel bad and I feel that I have spoken out of turn. That I
have broken a code of conduct somehow. So now I silently think
about what I have just said and I am made to feel guilty.

Something has gone wrong in this establishment. People are

complaining. Family members of the service users here are
questioning the staff in this institution. They quiz us about our
conduct. I do not know what I should do now. I am told to play the
Pleiadian CD by another staff member. You see things have been
confiscated and I do not always know where these things are now.
The public are openly confronting us. The public are angry and we
the staff are getting their abuse.

You see one of our service users who was our responsibility stole a
red double decker bus full of other service users. He drove it
around wrecklessly and at speed, knocking things over. I watch the
internal camera footage from this bus. I see all of the other service
users falling around inside as the bus is violently shaken about
whilst it is being driven so badly. This must have been so terrifying
for those people on board, I think to myself and then the gravity
of this whole situation sinks deeply into my mind.

28-8-18

(228) On Top Off The World.

There are these people in the forces who do exactly what they
want to. They are on international boarders and they are a law
unto themselves. Multilinguistic, they radio into various places
portraying different people in different situations and in different
countries. When you have superiority like these guys then you can
do pretty much what you want. They meet up high up on a
mountain plateau on international boarders, but I know that some
of them have their secrets. Some of them are falsely
impersonating people who they are not. With their linguistic skills
they are able to change nationalities to cover up their tracks along
these remote boarders. They switch sides at will and work within
various different organisations and so they pretty much have their
own sovereignty. I am just a witness here. I listen to these people
discussing various things that they are doing and I know that they
have their secrets. They are smart people and they are getting
away with it all the time because they can do. There is no one who
can tell you what you can and cannot do when you are at this
level. So they are left to their own devices. Free to do whatever
they choose to do. There is one lad who says that he is changing
to navy colours. This is symbolised by a white aircraft that he
switches to.

"There is a harbour near here so if I am in the navy then these

people who we are in constant contact with now have no control
over me."

He points this out to us in a matter of fact sort of way and I smile

with my deeper knowledge about him, because I know that with
his linguistic abilities he also changes his nationalities as well
which these people do not know about. He can avoid any direct
orders from anyone. There is no one anywhere who can tell him
what to do.

(229) A Locksmith's Nightmare.

I have been making this tool box with a spring loaded lock in it.
The teacher is here to take a look at it as he picks up this lock
device. "Have you done any more to this?" The teacher asks me as
he has this thing in his hand. It is a rusty piece of work with a
massive double spring on it. It has been slow progress getting this
tool box together and this spring loaded mechanism is proving to
be difficult.

"I have done a bit more work on it." I say to the teacher being a
little disappointed at my own slow progress. The teacher is being a
little careful with this spring loaded device that he is trying to
open. "Just rip it open. If you break it I can soon mend it." I say to
the teacher to encourage him to get into this device.
"I'm not going to break it!" The teacher replies sternly in a gesture
that shows both a bit of responsibility and a bit of respect for my
work. Me myself, I am just a little weary at what I have done here
and I have lost some of my interest in this project as it has become
much more difficult to complete. Especially this double loaded
spring lock mechanism that I have designed.

(230) Sad To Leave.

There is this big open gig where everyone goes outside and plays
their gig. I have been coming out here all week long volunteering. I
have supported many people on one to one, showing them the
ways out here, but today at 04:30 in the morning I head back
home. I feel a little sad to be going back home, but I have
volunteered out here for over a week now and I am really ready to
get back home now. The woman in charge is very loud and proud.
She has a big strong black and yellow personality. She can really
let you know what she thinks, but she is so cool and I am sad to
leave her, even though she can be stern, but she is kind also and
she really leads this gig so well. She has such enthusiasm and love
for performing and she gets things done. She does it her way, but
we have some fun. She is kind to me, but now I am done as I find
my way home now. I have relieved myself of my duties.

30-8-18

(231) Here And Now.

You have to get to the end to listen to all of this and the end is
quite peaceful. It is pleasurable like a piece of fruit. Soft like a
peach. Or maybe pleasurable like toffee is as chewable as a playful
fight. Like a man and a woman making love in the night.

So I come around here and I am playing this music. It is only stuff

like this that keeps the walls up. It is only interactions like these
that really put things together around here. So here we are
meeting up having some fun. Here we are, here in this room
wondering how we ever got to this point right now, just like this.
We find some space for some instrumental. We make it all up as
we go along before we come back again to the first movement,
here and now in this moment.

31-8-18

(232) Our Reunion. (The Three 'A Me Goes.')

I meet up with some of my old friends like Shane and Tomo in
Lincoln. For some reason we go out for a bike ride. Tomo instructs
me on the best way to push bike into Lincoln. I am a bit dubious
about his advice, although I have not been out in Lincoln for such
a long time and I am reremembering old routes to cycle down, but
some of these routes have been blocked off. I nearly come off my
bike at one point. "That is because I have not been out on my
push bike lately." I conclude to Tomo and Shane. "Although I went
out on it a little yesterday." I suddenly remember correcting
myself. I say this out of shock from having nearly fallen off my
bike.

It is quite strange that in this instant I see a suitcase full of tyre

marks and black rubber skid marks. They are from various tyres
and I kind of put all these visualisations of tyre marks and skid
marks neatly away in this rectangular box of a suitcase. It is like a
puzzle of tyre marks as I place them all in order, neatly into this
rectangular box.
Tomo does not always agree with my evaluations of things and he
explains some alternative reasons to my evaluations. He tells me
that I nearly came off my push bike because the roads are wet. He
might be right. I take on board some of the things that Tomo has
to say. Shane is a little quieter than Tomo, but he still makes his
presence known on this bike ride. Shane always has a way of
making me laugh even when he is not saying anything. He has his
own unique mannerisms that I find amusing. It is just good to get
out with some old friends and it has been such a long time since
we have been out together.

(233) Things Seem A Little Wooden.

What is going on?! I am out in the back garden. I am with this
attractive woman who is much younger than me. We are sat on a
wooden bench. We are talking but she seems a little distant, a
little stand offish. So I get up and I walk around this back garden
on the grass lawn and I notice wooden carvings of an animal, it
looks like it maybe a squirrel coming out of the shed. These
carvings are incredible detailed if a little wooden. There must be
about seven of these wooden carvings in a row that arcs round
slightly which outlines the trajectory of this single animal at the
seven different points in his journey, from just having woken up
from his hibernation out of the shed to wandering out across the
grass lawn. Then I notice that there are other animal carvings all
around in rows that depict the trajectory of other animals that
have just made their way out of their hibernation space and
wandered off. I am a little excited to share this news with that
young attractive woman who appeared to be distant to me earlier.
So as I speak to her again, as I talk to her about this revelation of
wooden animal carvings, but there appears to be no change in this
woman. She is as distant to me as ever. I suddenly get the urge to
pick this woman up from her seating position and turn her around
so that she is sat facing in a different direction. I feel that I should
not do this, but I do it anyway.

____________________________________________________

September 2018

____________________________________________________

(234) L.S.D. Psycho-delic Old Money In The UK.

(235) Twisted Humans.
(236) There Is Concern!
(238) Free Space.
(239) "Not Bothered"
(240) A Lexicon Is Born.
(241) A Beta Male And His Self Control.
(242) Overwhelming Change.
(243) My Song.
(244) Wage Slavery And 'Out Of Work' Commitments.
(245) The Phantom Cyclist.
(246) The Spectre Of Work.
(247) Fold Up.
(248) Musical Faces.
(249) No Deal.
(250) We Feel.
(251) Rodents In The Garden.
(252) A Bad Hair Day.
(253) A Monumental New Timeline.
(254) I Question.
(255) Slide Guitar.
(256) She Is So Resourceful.
(257) My Disturbance.
(258) Family Finance And The Burden Of Debt.
(259) Guests At The Guests House.
(260) On The Kevin Moore Show.
(261) The Outer Perimeter.
(262) Vanilla Face.
(263) All Along The Sea Front.
(264) The Model.
(265) "This Fat Bastard Food!"
(266) One Two, One Timing.
(267) That Was Close!
(268) In The Cottage 'Trino' Suite.
(269) Hiding Out Low.

1-9-18

(234) L.S.D. Psycho-delic Old Money In The UK.

"Threpenny bits!" A man shouts out to us. We are being
entertained by someone. He teases out a dish of money by
offering it out for anyone who is quick enough and I am in there. I
quickly snatch a couple of small copper coins that resemble
pineapples. I have these coins hidden from view under my small
dish of money that I have here in front of me on this table that I
am sat at.

"Two shillings and tupence!" The man shouts out next, teasing the
audience with his small dish of money by handing it out and
putting it in front of peoples faces. I have had a threpenny bit out
of that dish before, which is a copper coin, but most of the coins
in there are worthless to be honest with you. I am curious about
this two and tupence. I think that two and tupence is a
euphemism for tits and fanny!

UK L.S.D. Old Money (Pounds Shilling and Pence).

The abbreviation L.S.D. originates from the Latin currency
denominations: librae, solidi, and denarii. The UK abandoned the
old penny on Decimal Day, 15 February 1971. The old pound was
divided into 240 old pence (240d). So a shilling was 12d and so
there was 20 shillings in the old one pound. The new decimal
pound is divided into 100 new pence (100p). There are no shillings
in the new decimal system, all though a shilling would be
equivalent to five new pence in the decimal system.

L = £(pound) = librae
S = Shilling = solidi
D = Old pence = denarii

Copper Coins:

quarter penny ---> farthing ---> 1/4d

half penny ---> hape penny ---> 1/2d
penny ---> penny ---> 1d
three pence ---> threpenny bit ---> 3d

Silver Coins:

six pence ---> 6d ---> 2 and 1/2p ---> tupence hape penny
one shilling ---> 1s ---> 12d ---> 5p (new pence)
two shillings ---> 2s ---> 24d ---> 10p
ten shillings ---> 10s ---> 120d ---> 50p

Note:
one pound ---> 20s ---> 240d ---> 100p

The one pound note was originally backed up by one pound

weight in sterling silver. An ounce of sterling silver is £11.20 point
4 pence today. There is sixteen ounces in a pound weight. So the
pound note would be equivalent to 16 times 11.204 which equals
179.264. That means that one pound today would have been
worth 179.264 times the value it is now if it had been backed up
by sterling silver. In other words a penny would be worth £1.79
and point 264 of a penny of our money today here in the UK. So
that means that by not having sterling silver backing up our
currency, our money is not worth much now.

(235) Twisted Humans.

I am a witness here to Kevin Moore, the younger brother of
Michael Moore. I first met Kevin at a party that I went to in our
neighbourhood. Kevin is difficult to know because he is crazy. His
time in the military has twisted his mind. I met Kevin in the
military too.

So there are these bombs being dropped and exploding all around
us. Kevin can see from my face that I am in fear and calmly he says
to me, "You are human." We are in this military complex. We are
under siege. I am laid out facing the floor. The window goes down
to the floor and I watch an explosion out of this glass window. In
my mind I see this explosion in silence. The flash hurts my eyes
and so I run off down the corridor in fear as it flares up in my
minds eye, like a spark, like an ember, but this is my imagination
that explodes this time and this is my fear. The anxieties of putting
my life on the line has put me in here with flash backs and combat
stress from doing my job. So now like Kevin I am twisted in fear
and I am running around these corridors in here.

2-9-18

(236) There Is Concern!

I am outside watching the Red Arrows display team. They are
flying their jets against the clear blue sky. We see them in
formation with their coloured smoke trails up in the sky. Nine
screaming jets go down and eight screaming jets come back up. In
the distance it looks like there is a crash! We do not know for sure.
We do not know what has happened. There seems to be a Red
Arrow missing. There is music playing, Road House Blues by the
doors. Above this music that plays I hear concerned people
talking. "What has happened?" I hear them ask. We really do not
know what has happened yet. Has there been a fatality? I am
wondering. I just watch all around me in amazement.

3-9-18

(237) Me And My Music Factory.

I listen to music. My music factory and I. As I play, I change keys. I
get myself into this music. I concentrate as part of the band. I
concentrate on where these notes come from. Deep into this
music factory. Deep into this note factory I go, in search of a sure
place to be. Sure about this music that I play. Sure about this
music that comes out from deep withinside of me.

4-9-18
(238) Free Space.
I have an incarnate jam. I get to one point where the train goes. I
am trapped there by the rails against these great big train
carriages and I am trapped there protesting my awareness. I make
a nuisance of myself. I share my awareness for everyone to see
just how those railroad companies tend to be. It gets a little hair
raising at times. It gets a little tumultuous, but I know that I must
do exactly what do. I mark out these carriages that violate our free
space.

(239) "Not Bothered"

There are these vans. We go and fill them up and then we go out
to sell this stuff. Some of the drivers are really "not bothered"
about selling their stuff. I hear someone discuss one of the drivers.
He laughs about how this driver is "not bothered." How he hardly
loads anything into his van. Then there is this other chap. He is
originally from Pakistan and he is always spot on. He really works
hard and he does his job to the book. I see this Pakistani driver
and that driver who is "not bothered." I see them both have a
good chat together. I do not know what they say to each other.
They are both foreign looking with their brown skin. I think that
the other driver comes from Turkey originally.

There are vans around here everywhere and it gets very cluttered
along these narrow loading bays. It is like a slidyblock puzzle trying
to manoeuvre these vans around sometimes. People are always
blocked in. Me, I just spectate and I help out from time to time. I
would really not want to be one of those van drivers.
5-9-18

(240) A Lexicon Is Born.

I am playing this music quiz. I think of a tune and then I play it and
other people have to guess what that song is about from the tune
that I play.

Later when I get home I get this letter through the post and I am
invited to think of a star word for a quiz show. I soon pour through
some dictionaries to find some interesting words. The word that I
select has to be folded up tight into the crinkly paper and brown
envelope provided, that has come to me through the post. As a
word smith this is fascinating and I soon find many interesting
words to chose from.

(241) A Beta Male And His Self Control.

I listen to this man shout to his woman in the street. "Come back!"
I hear him shout this then I hear him say, "I am not a manly man. I
do not shout at women." Me, I am inside a building, but the door
is open to the street outside and I hear all of this coming from
those people who who walk down the street outside and who
pass this open door.

6-9-18

(242) Overwhelming Change.

Things are changing. I listen to the voice of change:

"No longer will people be able to queue up to their expectations."

I get a visual of a school playground. A black tarmac square, or

maybe it is an old fashioned airport in chaos, with faded white
lines that people walk over and ignore.

The old ways are crumbling. You just cannot get away with the
things that you used to. Attitudes change, we have new ways of
doing things now.

In the schools there are people who take their jobs so seriously. I
see how some of these people are putting themselves forward. I
get a glimpse of some leaflets with a teacher's photo on it, looking
at me with his appropriate pose and neat beard. He is running a
campaign within his teaching job, just like a politician would. He
makes it clear that he does not believe in the cut backs in the
education system.

I am impressed with the professionalism of these people and how

they put themselves forward, but it all gets too much for me. It is
all too overwhelming. I just walk off. I just get myself far away, far
removed from this situation. All their positioning for power and all
these changes get too much for me and sometimes it really freaks
me out!

(243) My Song.
I am jamming up there on stage and I go through these songs that
I sing and that I play on my guitar. I do this until I form a greater
song made up from little songs that I play. My song is a set of
songs. My song is so long as I fill in around the songs of my
friends, because my song is a set of songs that weave around the
songs of my friends.

My Song.
 I am jamming
up there on stage
I go through these songs
that I sing
that I play on my guitar.

I do this
until I form a greater song
made up from little songs
that I play.

My song
is a set of songs.
My song
is so long
as I fill in
around the songs
of my friends,
because my song
is a set of songs
that weave around
the songs of my friends.

7-9-18

(244) Wage Slavery And 'Out Of Work' Commitments.

I am Talking to Lisa:

"They make it difficult at work to take time off. These are the
constraints of having a job. I tell them what day I want off work
and they see if I can have that day off. I have an arrangement. I
have an 'out of work' commitment with my music friends. If they
do not give me the day that I want off then I shall 'throw a sicky.' I
shall ring work up on that day and I shall tell them that I am ill and
that I cannot go into work. I don't like doing that, but if there are
things that I need to do out of work then I have no other choice."

I am saying all this to Lisa because she is a music friend and she
needs to know that I am reliable.

(245) The Phantom Cyclist.

I go out for a walk down to the pub in the evening to perform on
an open mic night. So I go out and I walk up the hill towards the
pub and along the top street when I hear a man singing as he is
walking along slowly down the street. He is obviously drunk. It is
then that I realise he is the man who hosts the open mic night in
the pub that I am going too tonight. He has let the drink take over.
His weakness to booze has now revealed itself to me. I just stand
there in the dim night light watching him and I wonder what
should I do? I decide to head back home, but the gravel is loose
under my feet and as I walk back I feel the loose gravel roll under
the souls of my feet. I find it so difficult to walk on. Then I am
aware of a push bike. I listen to it approaching from behind me,
until it comes so close to me that it feels like the cyclist rides right
through me and into my mind. "Who the fuck are you!?" I exclaim
out loud. Suddenly the cyclist disappears and everything changes.

8-9-18

(246) The Spectre Of Work.

I am going to work. I work on a farm. I am not sure if I am late
getting there. It is evening time and I travel on a white round
bouncy roll, like the orange children's space hopper from the 70's.
I go along the country road on this round bouncy roll. I head
towards where Andy Moore lives with his wife. I am really not sure
when I should start work here. It is entering twilight now. I go up
the driveway where Andy and his wife live. As I arrive there Andy
and his wife are having a chat with each other. They do not notice
that I have arrived at first and so I just sit there on my bouncy roll
and I wait for them to acknowledge me. Eventually they become
aware of me. Andy starts talking to me. He tells me about his car.
Something about mixing petrol. He is having problems. His car is
getting old now. I am quite surprised that Andy does not have a
newer car because he is quite the 'petrol head.' There are other
people around Andy's house. I do not know who they are. They
are young and they are shy. They are some sort of relatives. We all
silently aknowledge each other and I analyse their facial features. I
have never seen these people before, but I notice that they have
similar facial features to each other and it is apparent to me that
they are related.

10-9-18

(247) Fold Up.

My guitar folds up. As I play my tunes my guitar folds up. I play up
into the night. The action on the strings becomes so wide. The
neck on my guitar bends so much until I cannot hide just how
unplayable my guitar has become.

11-9-18

(248) Musical Faces.

Rattled, thick and clear: I look at their make up, she tells me,
"Every face has a story to tell." And hers is precious to me. With
cone faces and bright orange hair, scary people I am aware of
here, in this strange world of musical score. I read their
compositions, their personificatational songs within this
compilation album of long players and just what goes on. With
perfect pitch her musical facescape is rich with those letters from
A to G. That pop up from songs that come out of me and translate
in through her keyboard you see. This gathering of musicians fills a
room full of song, as everyone waits for their turn to go on ...

Musical Faces.

Rattled, thick and clear:

I look at their make up,
she tells me,
"Every face has a story to tell."
And hers is precious to me.

With cone faces

and bright orange hair,
scary people
I am aware of here,
 in this strange world
of musical score.

I read their compositions,

their personificatational songs
within this compilation album
of long players
and just what goes on.

With perfect pitch

her musical facescape is rich
with those letters from A to G.
That pop up from songs
that come out of me
and translate in through
her keyboard you see.

This gathering of musicians

fills a room full of song,
as everyone waits
for their turn to go on ...

(249) No Deal.
There is a bloke who wants to share a house. He has seen me
around town. I am not interested, but I have a chat with him
anyway as he rummages through his lockers. He grabs his plastic
folder and I see the tattoos on his face. They are lines joined to
small double circles. One circle within another circle. 'Very
geometrical.' I think to myself. He is very chatty to me and I
struggle on the uneven ground, as I follow him around, but then I
correct myself and I listen to what he has to say.

13-9-18

(250) We Feel.
I am with someone who I know and we masturbate. So Anna
comes as a manna in the wilderness. First she helps me to
masturbate into the clean tissue of plies that become a wet paper
mashe of pulp sodden with seamen. Then we drive ourselves
around in a car and talk a dirty banter of 'hopefulness encounters'
as we park up by the roadside and feel each others embrace.
14-9-18
(251) Rodents In The Garden.
I am working. I am not really sure on what I should be doing. Ruth
is here and she talks about me taking over from her, but I do not
know what she is saying. Steve turns up in a boat and we all hop
on board, but then I discover that it is an amphibious vehicle and
we do this route around the garden. The garden is more like a
lake. There is a route that Steve takes us around and he tells us
stories about how some fish got caught up in this woman's hair.
Suddenly we are aware of a scuttle sound in this water logged
back garden. We all turn around quick to see what made that
sound and just as quickly I say "rodent!" A generic word that is a
type of mammal and I think about all the different types of
rodents that it could have been.

(252) A Bad Hair Day.

I see myself old with little hair and bald patches on the top of my
head. As I mix in with the other people I notice that what little hair
I have is a mess. It sticks up in the air all over the place. I also
notice that my friend has better hair than me. I need to get my
hair cut.

15-9-18

(253) A Monumental New Timeline.

There is an old building here in this green green park. In these
grassy grounds of this pleasant English summer garden. The
building stands as a massive grey stone monument. A huge
building with many floors and many rows of windows within it.
With a tower at its centre, as I walk around this building a new
face upon this tower reveals itself. High up on the wall of this
tower is half a circular clock face. It is two forty in the afternoon
and the numbers on the clock face from two to eight are obscured
by a triangle that has its hypotenuse as the stretch of the minute
and hour clock hands that point to the number eight and the
number two respectively. I am aware that this clock face is a new
timeliness revealing itself to me. That this building never used to
have a clock face on it and now I witness the changing over of
these timeliness. I stand between these timeliness precariously
and so suddenly I witness that peeled back from that reality is this
new reality and a clock face that has never existed before tells me
the new time.

17-9-18

(254) I Question.
I am at a do. Paula is here also. We are in a function room tidying
up, stacking chairs and putting tables away. I am not with Paula
but I am aware of a conversation between Paula and her mum.
Paula is arranging things with her mum, discussing what to do.
Then I hear her mum say, "But it will be mid month."

"But it will be mid month! But it will be mid month! But it will
be..." Paula repeats her mother's comment in protest to the
negativity of her mothers comment before Paula bursts into tears.
I am not a part of all this drama. I am just a witness. I am sat on a
chair looking away from Paula's demonstrous behaviour that
expresses her frustration towards her mum. I am people watching,
I watch people's reaction in this function room towards Paula's
outburst. I question: Why does Paula let her mother trigger her
so?
(255) Slide Guitar.
I go around this building. Mark and Bigman are in this building.
This building is huge and ancient like a mountain of rock that is a
dark grey marble, smooth and solid. I go around the dark side of
this huge building, away from the sun in its shadow. This building
is so vast that I am not sure if I can make it all the way around.
There are steep climbs and obstructions to navigate, but then sure
enough after a while I make it around to the sunny side where the
steps are so much kinder and I make my way back into this huge
building. I see that Mark and Bigman are still in the building on my
return. I wonder why Mark has not drawn any guitars with his
yellow chalk on these walls inside this building. Mark used to be
so obsessed with guitar playing, but now he has let it slide.

There are chords that I play. Three chords that I play in such a way
that is quite vague, as I am mysteriously shown from an unknown
man:

Major Keys:

C,F,G (No flats or sharpes)

G,C,D (1 sharpe F#)

D,G,A (2 sharpes C#, F#)
A,D,E (3 sharpes C#, F#, G#)
E,A,B (4 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#)
B,E,F# (5 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#, A#)
F#,B,C# (6 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#, A#, E#)
C#,F#,G# (7 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#, A#, E#, B#)

F,Bb,C (1 flat Bb)

Bb,Eb,F (2 flats Bb, Eb)
Eb,Ab,Bb (3 flats Bb, Eb, Ab)
Ab,Db,Eb (4 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db)
Db,Gb,Ab (5 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb)
Gb,Cb,Db (6 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb, Cb)
Cb,Fb,Gb (7 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb, Cb, Fb)

Minor Keys:

Am,F,G (No flats or sharpes)

Em,C,D (1 sharpe F#)

Bm,G,A (2 sharpes C#, F#)
Fm,D,E (3 sharpes C#, F#, G#)
Cm,A,B (4 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#)
G#m,E,F# (5 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#, A#)
D#m,B,C# (6 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#, A#, E#)
A#m,F#,G# (7 sharpes C#, D#, F#, G#, A#, E#, B#)

Dm,Bb,C (1 flat Bb)

Gm,Eb,F (2 flats Bb, Eb)
Cm,Ab,Bb (3 flats Bb, Eb, Ab)
Fm,Db,Eb (4 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db)
Bbm,Gb,Ab (5 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb)
Ebm,Cb,Db (6 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb, Cb)
Abm,Fb,Gb (7 flats Bb, Eb, Ab, Db, Gb, Cb, Fb)

Table of Modes:

Name Range Half Steps

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dorian D to D 2-3, 6-7
Natural minor scale with raised sixth degree.

Phrygian E to E 1-2, 5-6

Natural minor scale with lowered second degree.

Lydian F to F 4-5, 7-8

Major scale with raised fourth degree.

Mixolydian G to G 3-4, 6-7

Major scale with lowered seventh degree.

Aeolian A to A 2-3, 5-6

Same as natural minor scale.

Ionian C to C 3-4, 7-8

Same as major scale.

Locrian B to B 1-2, 4-5

Natural minor with a lowered second and fifth degree.

18-9-18

(256) She Is So Resourceful.

Anna has found a carpet to go with our song. It is a grey patterned
carpet that she has found in an old orange skip, in someone's
driveway, in one of the back street houses near where we
rehearse. The grey square patterning in the carpet goes well with
the grey square patterning in our song, or maybe it is a rug that
she has found. I get a quid coin out for Anna. Anna is amazing!
19-9-18

(257) My Disturbance.
I briefly glimpse a girls thighs in her shorts and the image stays
with me. Those white shorts and white legs bulging out are a
beautiful sight for me, but my heart is with Anna and not with this
stranger who passes me by.

So I walk through these town streets, as a bloke does. I have my

light coloured trousers on. Suddenly there is a Beep! Beep! From a
post office van that approaches and a woman inside stares at me
with her big smile. She whistles loudly and approvingly at me. We
do not know each other, but this woman's piercing dark eyes are
attracted to me. She makes it so obvious that she is sexually
attracted to me. Her delivery is intense and passionate, as she
passes me by in her red post office van. She is too much for me. I
feel overwhelmed and I get a glimpse of how it feels to be ogled
and prayed on by a stranger. The mirrors have turned onto me and
my masculinity is shocked into an awareness that is slightly
disturbing. I suddenly have an appreciation of the opposite sex in
a way that I have never had before.
20-9-18

(258) Family Finance And The Burden Of Debt.

I am talking to someone and they are telling me about their
situation.

"We cannot sell up because we owe so much money."

This woman tells me. I notice her three children and they are
unaware of the problem that their parents face. The children
amble along together in their school uniforms protected for now
by their parents, but their future is uncertain. The husband has a
job. He deals with challenging behaviour as a care worker to earn
some money, but it does not pay enough to get by.
"There are just too many bills. We are managing now, but it's a
ticking time bomb. It's catching up with us and I cannot see any
way to avoid this."

I appreciate what this couple have to say. It feels like I am an

investigative reporter, but I am not. They have opened up to me
about their financial situation and it feels a little awkward for me. I
struggle to find things to say to them. They are up to their necks in
debt and constantly working. They can see no way out of this.

"It's not like we can say that in a few years time anything is going
to be paid off, because it's not. It's not like anything is going to
change."

The woman tells me this and as she does so I can hear the concern
in her voice and then there is a silence that follows. A thoughtful
silence. She is at a loss. A thoughtful silence that cannot find a way
out of this money situation that looms over them and the truth is
that they are not alone. There are so many other families out
there who are struggling to make ends meet. This is a bigger
problem and more wide spread than most people realise.

21-9-18

(259) Guests At The Guests House.

There is the sound of whistling. I suddenly realise that it is the
sound of Mark's phone letting him know that he has just had a
text message. I have not seen Mark for quite a while and he has
just arrived in this guest house where I live. Mark is staying in the
room next door. For some reason I am aware that he has opened
all the windows in his room. "Hello Mark." I say to make myself
known to him. He is busy on his phone. "Just a minute mate." He
replies quietly as he concentrates on his phone. He has just been
on a six hour journey to get here. It is a while since I have spoken
to Mark and so I make him welcome.

For some reason I am aware of this woman. She is very pretty. I

have never met her before. She has black hair which is quite short.
She is very neat and tidy in her appearance. She is very articulate
with her posh Southern English accent and she is full of herself.
She makes a big impression on me and I am pleased to see that
she is staying here, for whatever reason that she is staying here
for?

I was focused on working on my computer before these two new

guests arrived. I feel that things should get quite interesting now
that they have both arrived here in this guest house. I have got a
few things to catch up on with Mark and this woman who has
arrived here today appears very interesting to me indeed!

(260) On The Kevin Moore Show.

I am on the Kevin Moore show. I am on there as a musician.
Things have gone slightly wrong on this show and so we are
running late now. The main guest has done their bit in this show.
Kevin has interviewed them and that has gone well, but now for
some reason there is a problem with getting back to the
beginning. Whatever that means? So I am waiting to perform my
music. Kevin is making a joke out of this situation and I am sure
that everything will be edited okay in the end.
22-9-18

(261) The Outer Perimeter.

It is just like a scrum. For some reason we just keep running. A
large group of us all with our heads down and our arms around
each other. Our young teenage passion taking us to where we
want to go. Then I notice the wire mesh fence. The outer limits
that is the perimeter fence. The furthest point to where we are
permitted to go. I break away from this careering scrum just
before it collides into the wire mesh fence. The scrum of excited
young teenagers crash into the outer limits before it breaks up and
then the scrum disperses. The teenagers now find themselves
separated and they slowly walk back from the perimeter fence.
They slowly make their way back to centrality.

23-9-18

(262) Vanilla Face.

I am suddenly aware of someone watching me. They watch me in
my private moments. They stare at me from the top of my big
bedroom window. I see them as the small face on a small clown's
head. I see them as a decapitated head on its side posing as an ice
cream cornet high up against the backdrop of my sky blue
bedroom window. "You crazy bastard!" I shout to them and then I
laugh from the impact of this sudden awareness of them being up
there, but I really feel the loss of my privacy. This entity that looks
through my huge sky blue bedroom window must have seen
everything that I have done in my room when I thought I had my
privacy. They smile at me through their transverse decapitated
clown's head's face. Kindly this entity has been violating my
privacy and I have now only just found out about this!
(263) All Along The Sea Front.
I listen to someone play their tunes. Then they play to make sure
that I put the music back. And then they make me play in the
echoes of a room. In the room of a house that is pastel in hue. So I
conform to their wishes and the music is put back. Back to where
it should be all along.

24-9-18

(264) The Model.

We play our music to the movement of a wind up clockwork car.
We arrange obstacles on the floor and then we let the toy car
move along to the sound of our music. We put a golf ball in the
car, then some water to weigh it down and then we let it go. We
play our musical instruments as the car speeds along. As the car
hits the obstacles then jumps up into the air to the sound of our
music. I watch this girl as she gets excited and jumps for joy as the
car jumps into the air.

"How have you kept your hopefulness?" Anna asks me.

25-9-18

(265) "This Fat Bastard Food!"

I make all sorts of comments. I am having fun whilst the food is
being past around. People seem so serious as they eat their food,
but I am having fun making a nuisance of myself. I watch the faces
on the people as I get cheeky, as I push the boundaries and for
some reason everything is timed on this table where I sit. I have
been corrected a few times for my behaviour, but I think that
people have given up on me now.

(266) One Two, One Timing.

I pick a fight with Roger. Maybe I am bullying him, but he deserves
it. Then this other lad called Chris steps in. He sticks up for Roger.
"Mind your own business." I say and then I point to him and
Roger, "One two" I say. And then I point to myself and I say "one!"
I repeat this whilst pointing, "One two, one. One two, One!" Then
Chris gets a tazer out. So I attack Roger and we both end up
fighting on the floor. I make sure that I get on top of Roger in time
so that the tazer will earth into Roger and then he will get the
shock!

26-9-18

(267) That Was Close!

I swallow the chewing gum whole. I do not want to choke and so I
cough to get it up. I cough and cough and then I decide to
swallow. I take a drink of water. I take a great gulp and I swallow it
down. I am safe now!. I can still breath!

27-9-18

(268) In The Cottage 'Trino' Suite.

I find myself in the 'Trino' suite with Anna. It is expensive and I do
not like it. It is very small and pokey. It could be classed as cosy if
you like that sort of thing, but it needs a big window. There is a lot
of light blocked off. "What is all this?" Anna asks as she points to
some tiles that block out the sunlight from the window. She seems
to agree with me about this suite. There are stickers of a fancy
letter T stuck onto some of these tiles. If this is the suite that a lot
of money gets you then you can forget it. I do not think that it is
worth the money to stay in this room.
30-9-18

(269) Hiding Out Low.

Anna and myself are looking for a place to play on this rather hot
day. I get my tin out number 70, next to her tin number 71. I get a
drink out next to her drink, but she gets caught up in an ambush
and I hold back. I tail her as she is going around whilst I am hiding
out low, careful not to get caught. I stand behind a coach. I stand
there with my legs and feet hidden behind its wheels and I
wonder, "What should I do?"

____________________________________________________

October 2018

____________________________________________________
(270) All Down Hill.
(271) The Red Queen And Her Artificial Intelligence.
(272) Into The Groove.
(273) Necessity Of Technique.
(274) Hometime.
(275) Getting Higher.
(276) The Morning Party.
(277) A Teenager In Love.
(278) Expand The Sound.
(279) Text The Truth.
(280) We Are Intuit.
(281) Abandoned In Turmoil.
(282) Dodgy Care Work.
(283) On That Red Rock.
(284) Her Reply.
(285) Playing The Record.
(286) Not Mine.
(287) An Over Prescription.
(288) A Hidden Intrusion.

1-10-18

(270) All Down Hill.

I am on a motorbike and I have something in my hand. It maybe a
letter. It maybe some paper money, but there is surely a note in
my hand as I ride around on my motorbike. I see Anna on her
motorbike. She is with someone else on their motorbike. I ride
around them and then down a hill to the bottom of this street
where I stall my bike. I try to bump it off. I try to get the bike
started again, but to no avail. I guess that I have flooded the
engine and so now I am stuck down at the bottom of this hill.

2-10-18

(271) The Red Queen And Her Artificial Intelligence.

My sister loses the plot. She becomes evil and she writes about
black people becoming claws. Well, she tries to write this book.
The cover of the book has a red background and there is a big
black claw on it, except the claw is not finished. It is just an outline
of a claw on red background that needs filling in with black ink.
My sister has to be restrained by the police. It is then that her
voice becomes demonic. It is spoken in a slow robotic demonic
tone and I just have to roll my eyes. I do not make too much of all
this drama. I take the book that she has been writing and I ignore
my sister. I ignore her unusual behaviour. I refuse to be distracted
by all this nonsense.

(272) Into The Groove.

She writes down all her music with punctuality, but people believe
that it is all lies. I do not want to disturb her creativity. She is doing
a fine job and I leave her to do what she does best, but I am
sidelined in this process. With her perfect pitch and her
impeccable timing we will get into the groove: If and only if the
rhythm is right, as we make our moves late into the night.

8-10-18

(273) Necessity Of Technique.

Anna and I are at this music show. It could be Top Of The Pops. We
watch this man on guitar. He plays slide guitar and he has two
slides, one on different fingers. On one string he slides up from
the second fret to the first fret and at the same time on another
string he slides down from the second fret to the third fret. I point
this out to Anna in a gesture I point with the palm of my hand, as I
turn to her and I say, "Why?" It is just then that I notice that the
guitarist has heard me say this and so then I say, "Because he
can." I do not want to insult this guitarist unnecessarily, but it does
seem like an unnecessarily difficult technique for the outcome
because for some reason the result of this guitarist's double guitar
slide is that we hear a grinding sound!

(274) Hometime.
Anna shows me how she gets home after work. She goes via the
black and white route where there are a few pastel shades. She
jumps on her cycle and then she tootles along. Through the
streets of dismay and then on through all those crowds who get in
her way.

9-10-18

(275) Getting Higher.

I take a long walk down this road, Up this big hill with houses. I am
with Anna and as I walk along I play this big white keyboard. There
is an echo and overtones and a good vibe mix of sounds, as I play
with this song, as I sing along. As we both walk up this hill
together in the night.
15-10-18

(276) The Morning Party.

I am at this party and we are partying early in the morning. We all
meet up on time. We all have our roll to play, as we all do what we
do by synchronising our timing within the group.

17-10-18

(277) A Teenager In Love.

I find myself jamming out a tune with Anna. We sing on the
streets. We busk, 'Why Must I Be A Teenager In Love?' As we sing
on the streets our sound is raw. I sing from the heart yet I feel so
unsure.
18-10-18

(278) Expand The Sound.

I am just sat back and I am listening to all these great keyboard
sounds. There is so much good keyboard music being played and I
am in awe! As the keyboard player goes through their set and I
listen with glee. We are here to expand the virtues of the
keyboard sound.

(279) Text The Truth.

Mark sends me a long text, "I will tell you all that she said." He
says. I get a part two text which has a three digit number of how
many words are in the text, which are: 111.

21-10-18

(280) We Are Intuit.

I am with Anna and we play all sorts of music on the keyboards, as
the record companies come round into our squat location to listen
to what we have to play, as I improv my jazz piano and I follow my
intuition to wherever it takes me.

(281) Abandoned In Turmoil.

I am driving along. I get out of my home town. I find myself driving
down this long straight roman road. It is out in the countryside
when my car starts misfiring. I manage to keep my car going until I
get to this old town and then my car comes to a stop by the curb
stone. I get out of my car into this town called Meltdown, that
appears to be in turmoil. There is an evacuation underway. There
are alarms going off and people vacating an old factory. I do not
want to stay around here and so I psyche myself up for a long walk
back home down that long roman road. I take a look at the time
on a clock and it says six O'Clock. It will be late now before I get
home tonight.

25-10-18
(282) Dodgy Care Work.
I am working in a care work job. The client is called David. He has
some trouble with his back from time to time. I get a bit
concerned when he just wanders off. I guide him back through the
door that he wandered off through and then his back gives way. It
gets dodgy doing this care worker job sometimes.

26-10-18

(283) On That Red Rock.

There is this mess on a red rock by the sea. "It is taken out of
order." I am told in a way that I do not comprehend.

"Do you know what this is?" A man asks me and I am at a loss to
explain this mess.

"I have tidied it up the best that I can, but there is still a little mess
there." I tell the man, as I want to be a responsible person in this
scenario.

A little white gooey residue is left on that red rock. I have cleaned
it up the best that I can and so now I move on. I just walk away
from that little mess on that red rock, looking back at that mess as
I do, whilst I carry away the plastic rubbish in my hands that
contains the sticky white goo that I have scraped up, from that red
rock by the sea.

(284) Her Reply.

I keep getting the feeling that I am connected with Anna via text. I
send her great messages of mood and of meaning and I await her
reply. There will be a time and a place for us both to meet, but in
the meantime I just wait for her reply.
27-10-18

(285) Playing The Record.

I am listening to a record with jazz piano playing on it. I play
around with the speed of this record. I play around with the way
that this record spins around, as I interrupt the turntable with my
hands. There is someone here with me and we hear some people
talking in the house next door. These neighbours they talk about
this lad that we know and we listen intently. The neighbours are
being unkind about this lad and so we go back to experimenting
with the sounds that come from this LP record. But then I start to
get bored with this experimentation because I run out of ideas.

I have been following some leads and I am a different person now

already, apparently. So this is what I am told by some entities who
are unknown. But what does this mean, I wonder to myself?

29-10-18

(286) Not Mine.

I do not understand the language very well, but I do understand
the gestures. Over and over again we are close to a line as she is
pretty and she is attractive and she is not mine. As we sing in a
pub and they all get drunk, but we are sober and we are fine. She
is pretty and attractive but she is not mine. Each turn I take costs
me double. Each move I make may be trouble.

30-10-18

(287) An Over Prescription.

I have concerns. She has too much medication here. The number
25 pops up. I go over the medication meticulously. Pam should
know better and I am cautious not to get too involved. One of the
three types of tablets that she takes has run out. I thin that she
has over administered this tablet to herself and I am reviewing
this situation.

(288) A Hidden Intrusion.

I enter into this classroom. I hear some feedback. I hear the loud
screech of feedback. I suspect that I am being wiretapped. This
classroom is empty, but it feels like I am being watched. So I get
out of there. I make my way down a narrow stairway. Those
hollow wooden steps that echoes my decent. I feel violated. There
is an intrusion in my life and yet it does not show itself. It hides
itself, my hidden intrusion.

____________________________________________________

November 2018

____________________________________________________

(289) Odd Man Out.

(290) 1,4,9,16 ...
(291) A Mysterious Moon.
(292) Three Jumps.
(293) Love, Life & Laughter.
(294) Waiting To Do A Turn.
(295) A Wad Of Plastic, Under A Black Cloud Of Smoke.
(296) On A Boat Out Of Control.
(297) It Is What It Is.
(298) Pointing To Room 5.
(299) Modification.
(300) As I Travel To A Funeral Concert.
(301) And So ... ?
(302) With Discretion.
(303) A Trial Of Permissivity.
(304) This Curious Woman.
(305) Before Me.
(306) Moving On.
(307) I Am A Twat!
(308) To The Stylisation Program.
(309) The Urgency.
(310) Adios Err-Me-Grose.
(311) Up To A Point.
(312) I Am Not Responsible.
(313) Not Here.
(314) Memories.
(315) An Alien Technology.
(316) I Am My Ex.
(317) Making My Move.
(318) Reverberations.
(319) The Street Vamp.
(320) The Fallen.
(321) A Lovely Window View.
(322) No Big Deal.

1-11-18

(289) Odd Man Out.

As I practice the esoteric arts I go around and I do unusual things
to people who I meet. I move a melon through the air around
Anna's face with just the power of my mind. I play around. I float
around this girl and it blows her mind. I am only being friendly. I
am only practicing some things that I have learned, but this is
weird to them and I look strange to them, as I practice what I
know now and so I do their heads in.

2-11-18

(290) 1,4,9,16 ...

I am posing for a photograph. I am posing for a picture to be taken
beside a square window with a square number of square glass
pains that projects the sunny white light through. I change my
facial expressions. I change the shape of my mouth to reveal some
of my bottom teeth. I do this for many different shots of the
camera to catch my good side. There is a lot of thought that goes
into this shoot, as I change my stance for yet another camera shot.
3-11-18

(291) A Mysterious Moon.

I follow the slow and intricate task of putting myself back together.
All those rearranged human parts of myself have to be moved
back to where they belong. So here I am wandering around doing
this task of putting myself back together. Which is quite a
gruesome task of body parts being put back to where they belong.
It is like I have been in a car crash.

"And the moon is not all that it seems to be either!"

I am randomly told this on the off chance from an unknown voice,

but there are no details to back this statement up. I am left not
knowing what that statement means and so the moon and the
voice that informs me remains a mystery to me.

4-11-18

(292) Three Jumps.

I put my denim jacket on and I grab my guitar which is in its soft
carry case, lent up against a chair. I noticed someone put it there. I
think that they had picked up my guitar thinking that it was their
guitar by mistake.

Jump 1:
I am in the Retford area in North Nottinghamshire. This is the
countryside. There are tractors here and other farm machinery. I
see a woman across the road and she is working with all this
machinery. I make my way past all of this machinery careful not to
get run over by a tractor.

Jump 2:
I have this pen and the nib needs changing as it is worn out and
damaged. So I replace the nib but the new nib is too big and fuzzy.
I will never be able to do any fine drawing with that fuzzy nib. I
look into my pot of brushes and nibs. It is difficult to find a nib that
is suitable.

Jump 3:
I am talking to Anna she is laid in bed. I explain about my
careworker job to her. I put my pyjama top on back to front. I
change it round and then I explain to Anna what I did at work. I
take my pyjama bottoms off and as I stand there naked below. I
show Anna the label in the back of the pyjama trouser bottoms
and I then make sure that I put them back on the right way round
with the label at the back. She is laughing now. She is laid there
laughing with a silky black top that she has put over herself
covering her face. I know that I have stayed here too long already.
So then I say to Anna, "You want me to go now, don't you?"

"Just stay for another five minutes." She replies.

5-11-18

(293) Love, Life & Laughter.

I am flying around making guitar noises with my friend, as we
come out of a place where there are robots. We are full of it as we
fly around because this is where we belong now. There is a path
here for us. There is a trajectory in our lives here for us because
we are the privileged ones. Love, life and laughter is all that we
can do now, as we make sure that we see all our privileges
through. As time surely comes and as time surely goes, we must
make sure that we see all our privileges through. So this is it then.
This is what we must surely do. Make sure that we see all our
privileges through.
7-11-18

(294) Waiting To Do A Turn.

It is open mic night here tonight in this pub and we are all waiting
to go up on stage to do our musical bit. There is a jammer here
who has brought a blow up paddling pool. First it is full of water so
the jammer has a little splash about. Later it becomes filled up
with sand so that when it is time for that jammer to go up on
stage they are nice and dry and ready to perform.

8-11-18

(295) A Wad Of Plastic, Under A Black Cloud Of Smoke.

This building is on fire. I am making my exit through all of this
black smoke when suddenly I think about my money in my room.
So I risk my life. I go through the black smoke back into my little
room and I grab a wad of plastic ten pound notes from out of my
hidden money box behind the cupboard. Somehow I manage to
get myself out through that black smoke building. Back to the
safety outside. I am suddenly aware that all this has happened
before and quite recently. So I have my money now. You see I do
not trust banks to keep my money.

"Yes, you are right, there is a big problem with social

consumerism."

I am told in a matter of fact kind of way from an unknown

peaceful female voice that comes to me from an unknown
perspective somewhere out there in the blue beyond.
9-11-18.

(296) On A Boat Out Of Control.

I am sat in this little red fibre glass boat. This lass comes over. She
is with her boyfriend. She commandeers this little boat of mine.
She has plans for it, for herself. "Come on!" She says, wanting me
out of this little boat of mine. "You did get my message didn't
you?" She asks me searching for conformation.

"No." I tell her, not knowing what she is talking about, but she
seems determined. So I oblige her and she takes my little boat. It
is then after my little red boat has been taken that I realise that I
needed that little boat to get off this big boat. So I am stuck now
as I look out across and I am suddenly aware that I am on a big
boat that is out of control. I am all alone on this big boat that is
speeding out of control. I look out to see land close by, but I do
not know where I am. I consider jumping off this big boat whilst it
is speeding out of control, but I would struggle to get up onto the
steep rocky shoreline. Maybe I should run this boat a ground, that
would stop it. How did I let that lass and her boyfriend get me into
this mess?

Eventually the big boat does slow down by itself and I get off. I
never did get to steer this boat as with all the security the cabin
was locked and out of bounds. I was locked out whilst the boat
was speeding out of control, but somehow I managed to get out
of this ordeal.

10-11-18
(297) It Is What It Is.
There is a lot of movement. There is a big deal that swarms
around a red post box. This movement, this big deal is the
sophisticated activities between Anna and myself. This bright red
post box just stands there central to all of this activity that is
between Anna and myself. It stands there at the heart of our
interactions, but this post box is empty. There is no letter that has
been dropped inside this red post box. This red post box 'just is'
and it stands there as the emptiness that is inside.

It Is What It Is.
 There is a lot of movement.
There is a big deal
that swarms around
a red post box.

This movement,
this big deal
is the sophisticated activities
between Anna and myself.

This bright red post box

just stands there
central to all of this activity
that is
between Anna and myself.

This bright red post box

just stands there
at the heart of our interactions,
but this post box is empty.
There is no letter
that has been dropped inside.

This red post box

'just is'
and it stands there
as the emptiness
that is inside.

11-11-18
(298) Pointing To Room 5.
I am in a wheelchair. I am slightly disabled, although I can walk I
use the wheelchair some of the time. It has a nice light blue frame
to it. So as I am sat here in this wheel chair I wonder to myself,
how did I get to be disabled and I do not know the answer to this.

There is work to be done around here in this big house. People are
joining in to help out to move things around and I do not want to
be sat around in my wheelchair. There is a lot of brass things that
need to be moved from one room to another.

I feel awkward around here because there is a lass here who I

have been involved with and we have fallen out with each other. I
am very aware of her being around here and she ignores me.

I decide to show some willing to help around this house. So I join

in the queue of people who are given brass ornaments in turn by
this man and then they go to a room and put these ornaments in
an appropriate place in that room. So I am in this queue of people
and when I reach this man who is giving out the brass ornaments
to take to the other room. He says to me, "That needs to go to
room 5." And he hands me a severed human finger which is
alarming to me to say the least!

So I wander off. I understand that room 5 is not in this big house,

but it is in another building entirely. I am not very confident about
going to room 5 as I do not know where room 5 is exactly and I am
feeling quite unsure at this moment.
12-11-18

(299) Modification.
I watch the natives as they make a giant screw out of a long
straight wooden branch on the forest floor. I also watch the
natives make a hose out of a snake. The snake is harmless and I
wonder how it is still alive as it has been converted into a hose. All
the water just passes through this snake. I wonder how does that
make the snake feel? I look into the snakes two eyes on the top of
its head as they blink and I wonder how it feels to have been
modified into a hose the way that it has been. All that water
bypassing the stomach. All that intake and out take and no
sustenance. How does that make the snake feel?

13-11-18

(300) As I Travel To A Funeral Concert.

I plan to do a naked benefit concert for this lass who has died. A
cover of Golden Brown, originally played by The Stranglers, has
already been requested for me to sing and play on my guitar at
this benefit concert. The lass who has died is called Liz. Her death
is a strange and complicated death. All the details are unknown to
me. My understanding is vague and so her death remains a
mystery to me.

So I am naked, 'This Smelly Human,' as I call myself is wandering

over the grasslands. I am anxious to avoid the lions here. I find a
pathway of double tyre tracks where the landrovers roam. I look
down these declining hilly double tracks within these grassy fields
and down into the distance I notice large swathes of of puddles
along these double tracks at the bottom of the hill. Then I notice a
Lion in the distance there, way on down these tracks and the lion
notices me. I panic! I do not want to be eaten and so I plan a quick
exit to the tarmac road above at the top of the hill and I hope that
this lion does not follow me. I am not confident that there is a safe
place for me anywhere. I just look out for lions and avoid them
when I see them.

14-11-18

(301) And So ... ?

My guitar is made from burning fire and it also has a black
diamond shape within it too. So I wrap my knee around my
flaming guitar and I merge into it as I feel my way around it. And
so my memory fades to where I have just been. My memory fades
to where I am going to also. And so my sight is lost to all that I
have just seen. And so I am lost to what this all should mean.

15-11-18

(302) With Discretion.

I am moving around. I go to this discrete place and Lisa makes sure
that I get there. She gets Dave to check up on me and so now
Dave is compromised. So I arrive discretely and I, in a carpark
empty at night, eventually get greeted by Lisa, but this is all hush
hush! And I do not tell a soul.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And So With Discretion.

 My guitar is made from burning fire
it also has a black diamond shape within it too.
So I wrap my knee around my flaming guitar
and I merge into it as I feel my way around it.

And so my memory fades to where I have just been.

My memory fades to where I am going to also.
And so my sight is lost to all that I have just seen.
And so I am lost to what this all should mean.

I am moving around.
I go to this discrete place
and Lisa makes sure that I get there.
She gets Dave to check up on me
and so now Dave is compromised.

So I arrive discretely and I,

in a carpark empty at night,
eventually get greeted by Lisa,
but this is all hush hush!
And I do not tell a soul.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

17-11-18

(303) A Trial Of Permissivity.

I am going to get fined. I got found out. I did a gig that I should not
have done. Anne set me up to do this gig and now there is hoo ha!
Now there is a commotion. Questions are being asked and I stand
in the dock of this trial that is aimed at me and I face it off. I have
been set up in this trial of permissivity and all that I can do is face
it off.

(304) This Curious Woman.

There is a woman here who has all sorts of cures. Johnny Rotten
comes along with a cunt between his little toe and the next toe
up. She soon finds a cure for that. He also has a trainer that he
wears and inside this training shoe it looks very red and very sore.
This woman is stumped for a cure for a while. She is umming and
arring for a little while. She is deep in thought thinking about a
cure and then she suddenly lights up with a cure. This cure is of
something that I have never heard of before and then she says:

"You can always shit in it! That will cure this trainer also."

Later I find myself wandering around an engineering factory full of

lathes. They are all manned up with their centre lathe turners
hard at work turning their bits of steel. Except that I know for a
fact that these are all actors. There is not a real centre lathe turner
amongst them. So as the swarf and the bits of silvery metal
turnings wriggle about the lathe cutter and as the steel spins
around fast, I cannot help but think about the dangers that are
involved in this industry. One day someone will hurt themselves,
but not today.

18-11-18

(305) Before Me.

I am here to make up with this show. How I do that is up to me.
There is an interview and I get talking. I am so very cautious about
what I say. I do not wish to reveal too much. Every word is
carefully selected. Every phrase is neatly transmuted across, but
the feeling is raw. I have been shocked by the intensity of what has
come before me.

19-11-18

(306) Moving On.

I see Anna again. Nothing is awkward between us and we have a
chat as if everything is just the same as it has always been. Anna
speaks to me first and I have so much to tell her. I am so pleased
that we are good together again. I decide to go outside for a walk
in the darkness of the night. I am so happy in this moment that I
allow myself to float up into the night sky. Like a helium balloon I
just keep on getting higher. I close my eyes and I relax into the
sensation of this ascension, but then I feel someone tightly grip
my arms. So I calmly state:

"Okay you do not have to grip me tight like that."

I do not know the entity who is doing this to me, but I am at peace
with myself and so nothing can get to me at this moment in time.
Then I become aware that it is my own arms that have become
tight and tense. So I allow this moment to pass me by and I move
on.

(307) I Am A Twat!
I am down by the waters edge by the sea. This is the place where
the boats moor up and I decide to have a laugh. I decide to switch
a hose on indiscriminately. This old bloke does not know what is
going on when water starts gushing out all over and around him
and he does not know how to stop it!

HA HA HA!

20-11-18

(308) To The Stylisation Program.

I read messages all day. People watch and listen to me. They want
to know what I have to say. I do not take this seriously. I do not
want to do this all the time. I get myself deep into the writing and
it takes me deep into another space, but I do not want to dwell on
this. I only do this for a while, as people watch and listen to me, as
I go up there and I perform my role with style.

(309) The Urgency.

I see my dad. My dad is unusually reverend, as he looks up to the
sky and whispers respect to; The Prime Creator, The One, The All
That Is, To God. However you want to name him. My dad has got a
painting from the art teacher Sacha. Sacha is the woman of my
dreams. So my dad hands over this painting to me that Sacha has
done. He hands it over to me as he walks out of a labyrinth, out of
this tunnel of mazes and so I walk with him out into the open air
and we walk around a deep blue bubbling sea. The painting has
been painted on hardboard. I look at the painting upside down at
first. I notice a little hole at the top of this hardboard with the light
passing through it. I realise that this is to hang the painting up
with. So then when I look at the painting the right way up I am
astounded at the artistic skill with which it has been painted.
There are three faces of a man, the same man at different angles
who is old with grey hair and a grey beard and there are marks
with which, as an art teacher Sacha would give for the painting of
each face. The marks for each face are not painted on as such, but
they are scratched into the paint before it has dried. This is also
true about the fine detail of creases and wrinkles around the eyes.
The faces are pastel and pale, as if there is a bright light shining on
them. They are lit up and they light me up too. I am overwhelmed
with joy at this painting. I will find a place to hang this painting up
immediately!
Above is Sacha.

Explaining the dream in an unsent letter to Sacha:

You thanked me for "Making the effort to travel to Retford." But

really it was nice to be back in Retford again the other day when I
met you. I have some fond memories there. The three gigs that
we did together, I will never forget. The first gig we did at the
Labour Hall we backed up Yashmac Webs. You seemed to be a
little inhibited that night and later you said it was because Dean
was there out of Yashmac Webs. The second gig also at the Labour
Hall, which was my favourite gig with you, we promoted the
"Swanyard songwriters' group" Reverb 7 album. I had a laugh with
you that night and you seemed quite relaxed once we had done
our spot. I felt a spark with you more intense than I have ever felt
with anyone else that night. The third gig at the church was also
intense when we backed up "Joules Holland's guitarist" Mark
Flanagan with songs written by the blues guitarist the late Kevin
Thorpe. After we had gotten over our nerves and after we had
performed our songs you had an out bust that night when you
exclaimed to me, "I've been through hell I have!" I was shocked. I
did not know where that came from. It did not feel very healthy
emotionally that night. I did not know what was going on. It was
all feeling a bit messy and it was that night more than anything
else that eventually made me decide to move away.

We went out socially three times together, which in my mind

seemed to match the three gigs that we did together respectively.
The first time that we went out together was when we watched
Danny perform at the Labour Hall. You phoned me up and got me
out that night. I was so grateful to you as I had nothing doing that
night. The second time which was my favorite time out together,
we went to those crystal gardens. We meditated together.
Afterwards you said to me "we have meditated for about twelve
minutes now." I was just so happy to be with you in such a
peaceful place. We had such a nice chat together after that. I will
never forget it. The third time was when we went to Clumber Park
Hotel which was quite intense for me because I was moving away
to Torquay the very next day. You looked so beautiful that night as
you always do, but I was so unsettled.

In the dream that I had about you, the three faces of the man with
the grey beard in the painting that you supposedly painted in my
dream represents both the three gigs that we did together and
the three times that we went out together. Somehow the gigs and
the times out that we had together seem to be connected in my
dream.

21-11-18

(310) Adios Err-Me-Grose.

I am working in a pub, which is all well and good, but ...

I meet up with this woman and I call her Virus Vulva. She says, "If
you want to have sex with me then you will need to use a condom
because I have got VD." It is the sweetest thing that any girl has
ever said to me and I feel like I am on a promise. I have not had
much luck with women in the past, but now my chance has finally
come at last.

... There is a gun to freshen up the air with and it has a pineapple
chunk on the end of its nozzle. The manager here is cordial, but it
feels a bit awkward to me being here now and so I make my
excuses and move on. I am away. I am out of here. Adios.

23-11-18

(311) Up To A Point.
I run out into a field. They are going to hunt me down. So as I run
into this field I then fall down to the ground. As I fall down to the
ground I find that I am rolling down a hill. I roll down through all
the shrubs that grow out through the grass and I hide within these
shrubs. I do this as people try to find me. I do this as I listen to
their conversations. I can do this because I hide so well. Later I
climb a tree. There are people all around me but they do not find
me. I listen to their gossip. I know what they have to say, "Sharpen
your pencil!" I hear someone say. Surely a euphemism if ever I
heard one.

24-11-18

(312) I Am Not Responsible.

There is this bloke asking me questions about what he should do. I
do not know what he is talking about. He has his touch screen pad
with him and he is on the Internet. He has a choice: Yes or No.
"What should I do?" He asks me. "Should I buy it?"

"No!" I reply being cautious and not wanting to be responsible for

a bad decision. I watch him and I can see that he is agonising over
this decision.

"Yes!" He suddenly shouts. He is suddenly compelled to press the

Yes box on his touch screen computer and now he has bought
something off the Internet.

(313) Not Here.

I have a vague recollection of going for a long summers walk
through those lush green fields. I was with the woman of my
dreams, but that dream has gone now. And so I find myself
between two points. I find myself between my dreams and reality.
Lost in my mind. Unable to find myself again.
 Not Here.

I have a vague recollection

of going for a long summer's walk
through those lush green fields.

I was with the woman of my dreams,

but that dream has gone now.
And so I find myself
between two points.
I find myself
between my dreams and reality.
Lost in my mind.
Unable to find myself again.

Infinities And Infantesimals

------------------------------------

CONTENT

[PART 1] infinities and infantesimals as fractions.

[PART 2] Infinity Times Infinity Equals Infinity Squared.

[PART 2.1] a/b as fractions less than one:
[PART 2.2] a/b as fractions greater than one:
[PART 3] Infinity Plus Infinity Equals Infinity.

[PART 4] When Infinity Divided By Infinity Equals One.

[PART 5] When Infinity Minus Infinity Equals Zero.

[PART 1] infinities and infantesimals as fractions.

Infinity fractions and infintesimal fractions are fractions with a

zero in either the numerator or the denominator but not in both.
A zero in the numerator indicates an infintesimal. Whereas a zero
in the denominator indicates an infinity.

0/0 = 1
0/n = infintesimal where n is an integer.
n/0 = infinity where n is an integer.

Infinity and infinitesimal squared:

(1/0)^2 = 2/0 = Infinity squared

(0/1)^2 = 0/2 = infinitesimal squared

[PART 2] Infinity Times Infinity Equals Infinity Squared.

[PART 2.1] a/b as fractions less than one:

Making sense of different infinities and different infintesimals

when looking at standard fractions.
So how many fractions are there less than one?

when a/b is a fraction less than one and where a&b are integers
greater than zero then the number of possible fractions when
represented as an Infinity fraction is?

If the number of integers n is the infinity 1/0 then the number of

fractions less than 1 is 2/0.

PROOF:
If a/b is a fraction less than one then a is less than b.

Even though a is less than b, because b is infinite then so too is a.

(infinity minus any integer is still infinity.)

a/b becomes [(1/0)-n]/(1/0) where n is any integer.

or

a/b becomes (1/0)/[(1/0)+n] where n is any integer.

so

[(1/0)-n]/(1/0) is exactly equal to (1/0)/[(1/0)+n]

If there is an infinite number of numerators a and an infinite

number of denominators b then the number of possible fractions
less than one is (1/0)x(1/0)=2/0. This is because we can map
infinitely a to b.
[PART 2.2] a/b as fractions greater than one:

This uses the same argument as in part 2 except that if a/b is a

fraction greater than one then a is greater than b.

PROOF:
If a/b is a fraction greater than one then a is greater than b.

Even though a is greater than b, because a is infinite then so too is

b. (infinity minus any integer is still infinity.)

a/b becomes (1/0)/[(1/0)-n] where n is any integer.

or

a/b becomes [(1/0)+n]/(1/0) where n is any integer.

so

(1/0)/[(1/0)-n] is exactly equal to [(1/0)+n]/(1/0)

If there is an infinite number of numerators a and an infinite

number of denominators b then the number of possible fractions
greater than one is (1/0)x(1/0)=2/0. This is because we can map
infinitely a to b.

[PART 3] Infinity Plus Infinity Equals Infinity.

(1/0)+(1/0)=(1/0)

If you have an infinite number of integers n and you add an

infinite number of integers m then n+m=n=m. This is because n
does not map to n. n and m become the same infinity.

So the infinite number of fractions a/b less than one plus the
infinite number of fractions a/b greater than one is
(2/0)+(2/0)=(2/0). Therefore this is the number of any fractions
a/b where a&b are any integer.

[PART 4] When Infinity Divided By Infinity Equals One.

If we divide the number of fractions a/b less than one with the
number of fractions a/b greater than one then the infinities (2/0)
and (2/0) map to each other and we end up with the value one.

(1/0)/(1/0)=1
(2/0)/(2/0)=1
(n/0)/(m/0)=1 when n=m

[PART 5] When Infinity Minus Infinity Equals Zero.

If we minus the number of fractions a/b less than one with the
number of fractions a/b greater than one then the infinities (2/0)
and (2/0) cancel each other out and we end up with the value
zero.

(1/0)-(1/0)=0
(2/0)-(2/0)=0
(n/0)-(m/0)=0 when n=m
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

25-11-18

(314) Memories.
I go down to the sea. I see the sun low in the sky. Hot colours
shine bright in a cold pale blue sky. My woman who left me is
around me here somewhere. Tenuously she plays with me in the
background of the thoughts of my mind. Ubiquitously I find her in
all that I see, but in reality I am here all alone. It is my memories
that play with me as I go down to the sea.

(315) An Alien Technology.

I am suddenly aware of a laser light for cutting. This is a
technology way ahead of ours and it is useful for surgery. This
could be described as the ultimate flick knife and surely a
dangerous tool to have at hand. It uses the frequency of light in a
way that we on Earth have not yet developed. I do not know why I
am aware of this as other memories surrounding the laser light
have dissipated.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Memories Of An Alien Technology.

I go down to the sea.

I see the sun low in the sky.
Hot colours shine bright
in a cold pale blue sky.
 My woman who left me
is around me here somewhere.
Tenuously she plays with me
in the background
of the thoughts of my mind.
Ubiquitously I find her in all that I see,
but in reality I am here all alone.
It is my memories that play with me
as I go down to the sea.

I am suddenly aware of a laser light for cutting.

This is a technology way ahead of ours
and it is useful for surgery.
This could be described as the ultimate flick knife
and surely a dangerous tool to have at hand.
It uses the frequency of light
in a way that we on Earth have not yet developed.
I do not know why I am aware of this
as other memories surrounding the laser light
have dissipated.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

26-11-18

(316) I Am My Ex.
Somehow I have become my ex girlfriend. I feel my face. My hands
feel around my eyes and I remember. I remember the lumps and
the bumps along the eye brows of my ex's face they are like braille
to me. It takes me back to how she used to be. You see I am from
within her. Her eyes are shut and so I cannot see.
 I Am My Ex.

Somehow I have become my ex girlfriend.

I feel my face.
My hands feel around my eyes
and I remember.
I remember the lumps and the bumps
along the eye brows of my ex's face
they are like braille to me.
It takes me back to how she used to be.
You see I am from within her.
Her eyes are shut and so I cannot see.

27-11-18

(317) Making My Move.

I am in a train station and to get out I have to pass a ticket
inspector. This is a very large train station and there is a large
crowd of people running around in order to avoid the ticket
inspector. I am here with someone else as I negotiate how to pass
this ticket inspector.

"You go around that way."

I say to someone who is with me, as I point across to the right of

this train station.

"And I'll go that way."

I go on to say, as I nod across to the left of this train station. We
both separate from each other and we both make our moves
individually. I am fascinated as I watch all the others up ahead of
me run past the ticket inspector and then I watch the ticket
inspector as he gives chase. I am thinking now is a good time to
make my move, as the ticket inspector runs like crazy to catch
someone who is just as fast on their feet as he is.

28-11-18

(318) Reverberations.
For some reason my baseball bat makes the perfect contact with
the ball. Just at the right time I take the perfect swing. So that
after that hit everything is just about that hit. Over and over again
I feel the contact of that hard ball on solid wood and I feel the
power of the spring in the wood that accelerates that hard ball
through the air. I was with a group of people and I found my
perfect opportunity. There was a little gap in time and I had the
perfect response. There was a little gap in time and I filled that gap
in time with the perfect hit. A perfect hit that I now live over and
over again. Such a perfect hit that now my life continues to
reverberate off it.

Reverberations.

For some reason

my baseball bat
makes the perfect contact
with the ball.
 Just at the right time
I take the perfect swing.
So that after that hit
everything is just about that hit.

Over and over again

I feel the contact
of that hard ball
on solid wood

And I feel the power

of the spring in the wood
that accelerates that hard ball
through the air.

I was with a group of people

and I found my perfect opportunity.

There was a little gap in time

and I had the perfect response.

There was a little gap in time

and I filled that gap in time
with the perfect hit.

A perfect hit
that I now live
over and over again.

Such a perfect hit

that now my life continues
to reverberate off it.
29-11-18

(319) The Street Vamp.

There is this lad who wears these mechanical feet. He steps up
and positions himself on the concrete ground. Then two claws dig
into the concrete on each foot which injects some heat into the
concrete. So that like jet propulsion he slides in accelerated steps
along the concrete, like sliding on ice.

(320) The Fallen.

There are three of us lads walking back over this uneven ground. I
jump on a breeze block and the breeze block loosens. It gives way
and falls. I manage to jump off it in time without falling off myself.
"Why does that always happen to me!" Searchingly, I exclaim to
the other two lads. They do not say anything to me and we carry
on going over these old grounds.

Then one of the lads jumps on a rusty drain cover, wham! He goes
right through it. His body descends about three feet before he
judders to a holt, then he just stays there motionless, upright half
in the drain. I think that he might be impaled. I think that he is
injured bad. "Are you alright?!" I exclaim to him in shock. With
that his lifeless body keels over and falls deep into the drain of fast
running water. He goes under the water. I grab hold of an old pipe
that is laid on the ground near me and I try to pull him up from
out of the water with it. "Help!" I cry out to the other lad, but the
other lad does not make it in time and I watch helplessly as the
lifeless body and expressionless face disappears under the cold
clear flowing water.
30-11-18

(321) A Lovely Window View.

I follow this lass Lisa, but there is some awkwardness sometimes. I
am up at this window with an aluminium stepladder. I watch Lisa
through this window and I try to get in through the window. I can
see Lisa inside as she moves around. I manage to get off the step
ladder and stand up onto the window sill and I move the step
ladders across. The step ladders make a light aluminium scraping
sound as I drag them across the floor. Then one of the legs folds
under. I lose my balance and I have to jump off the window sill. I
make a bit of noise with the aluminium step ladders as I jump off. I
land okay but this is not a cool situation to be in.

(322) No Big Deal.

Somehow all my guitars have gone. In an elaborate switch I have
lost these possessions. People go missing who I used to know.
There is a big box of children's toys, but my guitars are nowhere to
be seen. There are parents here who are hard up for cash but I
cannot point my finger at them. Although I have my suspicions
about who has taken my guitars.

I must move on. I must forgive this situation and I must forget it if I
am to move on. I must forgive them whoever they are and I must
forgive myself for getting into this situation. I never thought that I
would have been tricked like this. But I am working now. I have
money. I will deal with this setback.

____________________________________________________
December 2018

____________________________________________________

(323) Mum And Dad.

(324) The Old House That Is Bigger On The Inside.
(325) Techy In The Old Bunker.
(326) A Stalker.
(327) Good For Teeth, But Bad For The Brain.
(328) A Banana Vision. (Meditative Dream)
(329) The Old Skools Public House.
(330) No Application.
(331) One Of The Crew.
(332) My Belonging.
(333) In A Bake Off.
(334) A Pod Of Little Green Pea Fleas.
(335) In With A New Crowd.
(336) "Out Of Control!"
(337) I make a meal out of it.
(338) A Room With No Windows.
(339) It All Goes To Plan.
(340) How Your Garden Grows.
(341) Following Circles.
(342) How I want To Be.
(343) Recognition.
(344) "I Said, "Sit On An Egg!""
(345) Paint It Pastel.
(346) The Black Dog And Her.
(347) No Bell.
(348) Here I Am!
(349) The Amnesic Performance.
(350) Musicians' Union.
(351) The Factory.
(352) The Place Names Of People.
(353) Maybe He Landed On His Head.
(354) To Aggle And Daggle.

1-12-18

(323) Mum And Dad.

I am walking a long street in a particular way. I am thinking about
my mum and dad who live up that street at a right angle to this
street. They live huddled up together in a particular way. Although
I do not know how I am thinking about my mum and dad, I am
thinking about them in a particular way.

Mum And Dad.

I am walking a long street in a particular way.

I am thinking about my mum and dad
who live up that street at a right angle to this street.
They live huddled up together in a particular way.
Although I do not know how I am thinking
about my mum and dad,
I am thinking about them in a particular way.

2-12-18

(324) The Old House That Is Bigger On The Inside.

I have a rocky relationship with this woman. I go around to her
house and I am intrigued to find a bookcase full of books that
spins around to open up and reveal a hidden room behind it.

"If I ever go missing then you will know where to find me. I will be
lost behind that bookcase somewhere!"

I emphasise this most strongly to the woman who I have a rocky

relationship with. I meet the woman's mother in this house. She is
sat there all alone in a chair in one of the rooms and she recites a
poem to me. Her delivery is competent and as much as I like
poetry I feel a little awkward. Maybe I should be flattered to
receive such a welcome. I walk across to the window and as I look
outside and I am shocked to find that there is a wooded area for
as far as the eye can see. It may even be a forest, but according to
this outside view there should not be any room behind that
bookcase. These walls are not thick enough to hide a room behind
that bookcase. By rights this building should extend out further.
This is impossible! There is another guest here and he has
discovered the same thing as me and he goes off on one.

"I understand why you would not have a building behind that
bookcase. The authorities would be onto you like a ton of bricks.
They would be down on you straight away!"

He says this convincingly to the house owners. He is impassioned

in his articulation, but he goes on too much about that ruddy
bookcase and so I stop listening to him, but it is more than a little
strange.

4-12-18

(325) Techy In The Old Bunker.

I am in an old bunker with some electrical equipment. I have bent
some wire into shape and I have fixed some fittings onto the old
bunker wall.

"Keep away from the electrical equipment!"

I tell the children who are interested in what I am doing.

"I am going to boot up. I will put an electrical charge through this
equipment and then it should work."

I inform the children as I would like them to know what I am

doing. I am quite confident about this, but it may be a little tricky
at first to get everything right.

5-12-18

(326) A Stalker.
There is a strange lady, but she is okay when you get to know her.
In the meantime she is scaring Eira. This lady is strange looking.
She is tall and large. She has a hunch on her back and a big
crooked nose. She always follows Eira around.

"You are enjoying this!" I tell the lady. "You are having fun scaring
Eira, I can tell." with that said this strange lady admits to
everything that I accuse her of. I have to smile to myself because
this lady does not seem quite so strange now that I got to know
her.

(327) Good For Teeth, But Bad For The Brain.

I am at my ex's house. I am staying there and I have got a day off
work. It looks like she has a day off work also and it would be too
much us both being in this house together. She is so bossy and she
can also get quite grumpy with her bossiness. So it is an easy
decision to go out. To get out to see my parents who live a good
few hours drive away.

So as I go out for a walk first I notice this postman. I know him

from when I did speeches at 'Toastmasters' International.' He
looks like he is up for a chat so I get talking to him about water. I
notice him first on his delivery. He is just coming out of someone's
driveway. So now he is taking time out from his delivery round and
we are both sat at this cafe table. He has a pint of some drink
which I cannot identify.

"How good is tap water for you?" I ask him as I turn on a tap that
is conveniently situated at a sink which is in the middle of the
table that we are both sat at.

"Oh I don't think that it is all that bad for you." He goes on to say
to me. I am about to question him on whether the fluoride in the
water that is added is good for you, but I do not know if I have got
the will to go on about that.

(328) A Banana Vision. (Meditative Dream)

I am deep in meditation when deep in my mind I notice someone
who has made an umbrella out of a banana. He is cursing this wet
weather that we are getting and his banana umbrella that he has
just made is useless. He is holding the peeled banana by the bit
that you eat and the peel is dangling over the man's hand. I laugh
out loud at the uselessness of his creativity and the fact that he is
in a foul mood and cursing the weather makes the man even more
laughable. HA HA HA!

6-12-18

(329) The Old Skools Public House.

Playing songs in front of people in this pub, Bob tells me:

"You play to the Indian gentleman and the other chap next to him
and then I'll clean up."

When he says that he will "clean up" I think that Bob means he
will play to the others in the pub when I have played to the Indian
gentleman and the other chap. Bob is a musician not a cleaner
and he does not always say exactly what he means.
Old Skools, 18-20 Market St, Torquay TQ1 3AQ

7-12-18

(330) No Application.
Lisa's Dave has been talking to this man in a grey suit about me
doing electronics. I know this because I have been on the phone
to the man in a grey suit and he has alluded to me about me doing
electronics. So I have alluded back to him that I do electronics, but
I do not do electronics. It would explain my interest in
mathematics, however my interest in mathematics does not apply.

8-12-18
(331) One Of The Crew.
I am on this ship. It is some sort of huge vessel and there are many
women on here. There is a lot of messing around. I feel a little self
conscious, but I also quite like being the only male on here
amongst all these females. There are two openly gay women on
here who are in a relationship with each other. There is a woman
who has a large pet snake and there are a couple of women who I
like to have some fun with, but I always feel like I am on dodgy
ground with them. It feels like I should not be doing some of the
things that I do. I do fool about with these women and I do tease
them. I always feel like all this teasing is going to come back on
me.

I nearly ran a woman over on my motorbike the other day when I

was riding around this ship. I apologised to her. I think that she
had some important personal issues on her mind at that time and
so she went off and there was no real come back for the wreckless
way that I rode my motor bike. I think that she had fallen out with
her friend and that she wanted to make up with her again. Some
of the women who were there were laughing at me when I nearly
ran her over. I am pleased that they found it funny!

Recently I was being cheeky to this woman. We were pulling faces

at each other across this bar table. I got bored with that and so
then I turned to another woman and somehow it ended up that
we fell onto the floor together. I was just having some fun with
her. At first I thought that maybe she had hit her head on
something as she fell, but it turned out that she was alright in the
end. She was just shocked and a little surprised at my
recklessness.
10-12-18

(332) My Belonging.
I go back to an old job. I am just a visitor in this old building. There
are new faces here now. The turn over of staff here is fast. As
more and more staff members turn up there is not one who I
know from when I worked here before. I feel the mood of this
place and there is tension. There is a bit of pushing and shoving. I
find myself pushing back. This is disappointing to me. I see
someone arrive who looks like my old manager here, but he is just
someone who looks similar.

Later I decide to make my way home and as I do I ponder the

pushing and the shoving. Was I right to shove back? I decide that I
was right. It was the correct thing to do under the circumstances
at the time. My reactions have evolved over much time and I trust
my reactions now to serve me and to keep me safe. The amount
of force that I use I always question as I must justify this to myself.

On my walk home I find a long stick with an iron bar on one end.
When I have finished looking at it I throw it down onto the grassy
ground of a playing field, then I question the safety of this long
stick with an iron bar on the end as it just lays there on the
ground. "It may not be safe for any children who may find it." I
think to myself. So I pick it up again and I place it along the bottom
of a fence where the weeds have previously been pulled up.
Where this has made a nice groove between the bottom of a tall
wooden fence and the ground for this stick with an iron bar on
one end to slot along into, out of the way. I do not know what a
stick like this with an iron bar on one end is used for. The iron bar
is all rusty and in due course I will forget about it now, as I step up
onto the front door step and enter into my home, but it is more
her home than my home. It is more the home of the woman who I
live with than it has ever been of my home.

11-12-18

(333) In A Bake Off.

I am going for a job in a bakery. I am at the interview. There are
two other candidates here, two women who I am in competition
with. One is an older lady and the other is a much younger lady.
The interviewer seems to be a bit strict and over keen. I think that
this bakery is his own business and so that would explain that. I
have been sidelined a bit here. I will be put through my paces later
I guess. I am just waiting and watching the other contenders at the
moment. I am just seeing how the other candidates are doing. To
be honest I am not bothered if I do not get this job. If I am meant
to get this job then I will. If not then good luck to the victor.

12-12-18

(334) A Pod Of Little Green Pea Fleas.

I am being asked if I know how to look after a flea circus. I have
one in my hand now, as I look down at all these little green things
jumping up and down. "Do you know how to clean a flea circus?" I
am asked.

"No, I am embarrassed to say that I do not." So then they show

me how to follow a line along the fleas. These little green fleas
huddled together in lines. They look like an unusual vegetable
when they all settle down together and they do not jump about
too much. "I have learnt something here." I confess to the person
who has shared their knowledge with me. "I am so pleased to be
able to look after a flea circus now."

13-12-18

(335) In With A New Crowd.

I am in this group. We are up next to do our non instrumental
number. I get to sing with a blonde haired lass. We both stand up
out of a crowd and we do our turn together. I get the low part to
sing:

"Duke, duke, duke, duke of Earl, Earl, Earl. Duke of Earl, Earl, Earl.
Duke of Earl."

We are in Australia when we do this show and I am not familiar

with an audience like this. I am surprised at how much they like
our group singing. The audience are asked to comment on our
performance when we have finished and surprisingly we get good
reviews from them.

There is an African country singing next and we get an explanation

about why this African country has a Belgian heritage. This is all
very new to me and very worldly. All these people are so very
different from the people who I am used to. This is all a very new
experience for me and I get a feel for these people who are so
different in their ways.

(336) "Out Of Control!"

There are so many different people around. I am persuaded to
leave my musical instruments in this garden and go out for a joy
ride in a jeep. Sam is driving. We have a jeep full. There are three
children, Sam driving, three other adults and myself, all in this
jeep with no roof. I am shocked to see that we drive straight at
this door at speed and the jeep just bashes open this door with
great force. I turn around to look back at the door and
miraculously I see that the door casually shuts itself quite nicely.
My life is in other peoples hands here. Mainly Sam's whose hands
are at the steering wheel. I am surprised to see that we take a
ninety degree turn at great speed. I think that one day Sam will
regret his recklessness. There are children in this vehicle after all.

14-12-18

(337) I make a meal out of it.

"I Love The Way Her Humble Arrives." I hear this song title in the
song which is now playing.

"I Love The Way Her Humble Arrives!" I announce out loud.

I am interested to notice that there is a tunnel of a napkin filled up

with pickle that goes anyway up.

There is food on the table and drink in my cup.

16-12-18

(338) A Room With No Windows.

I am in a room keeping out of the way of people. I can hear other
people in the background somewhere. There are some
maintenance men. One of them drops some nails and I listen to
the collective metallic chink as the nails hit the concrete floor. I
look around this empty room and all I see is brickwork. I see cracks
in the brickwork around the lentel of a large brickwork doorway.
This building does not feel safe, but this is my sanctuary. This is
where I hide. I like to keep out of the way of people sometimes.

17-12-18

(339) It All Goes To Plan.

I predict the ending of an evening. There is a mandolin involved
and many other musical instruments for a fascinating night of
music. So sure enough it all pans out just exactly the way that I
planned it and like deja vue the night follows the plan as we all do
what we are all meant to do.

18-12-18

(340) How Your Garden Grows.

I do a PHD in gardening. I play the Oasis song "Live Forever" on my
guitar and I sing it out loud. I am in some other state where I, like
Joe Strummer, have had a heat attack. But then I muster all my
strength up and I fight my way out of my slumber. I fight my way
into a PHD at 01:23 in the morning. A PHD in gardening.

19-12-18

(341) Following Circles.

These addresses that I follow. They are the greatest addresses that
I follow. On my rounds, on a tour from my past:
TORQUAY.
Lymington road from the guest house opposite the entrance of
the coach station. I walk through the coach station car park to
follow Lymington road past Torquay library. I cross over Lymington
Road at the Town Hall to where the Job Centre is. ...

20-12-18

(342) How I want To Be.

There are a group of people. They are all of the same family and
they are here in my building where I do my artwork. I am very
accommodating and I ask them, "Do you want to do some artwork
for yourselves here and use my studio and equipment?" I am
surprised at the silence that follows and the way that they just
look at me without answering me.

Then someone says, "They know that you go to sleep in the

morning." One of the family members reveals this to me. "Only
sometimes!" They go on to say to correct themselves.

"A HA! You are all jealous!" I cry out loudly as I point fiercely to
each family member individually in turn. I feel that I know that I
am onto a good thing here when people are jealous of me. The
truth is that I do not have any commitments. I have no job, no
girlfriend, no mortgage, no children and no debt. I am free to be
me, who and how I want to be.

(343) Recognition.
I go around the patients and I use geometry. I do trigonometry of
their faces. I overlay the facial features with circles and triangles in
a representational drawing. But there is technology involved now
and so I need a memory stick. I have this technology on me, but
my memory stick is too bulky to fit into the Indian ladies set up. I
call out for help: "I need a memory stick!" I cry out. Surely
someone will be able to lend me a memory stick. I look around
searchingly to everyone, but no one offers their memory stick to
me and so I am forced to abandon my task for now. I will just have
to complete this at a later date.

21-12-18

(344) "I Said, "Sit On An Egg!""

I go to Mark's house which is modern, brightly lit and cold. He
uses energy save and apparently that means, "He cooks on a light
bulb." So Daren says, who is also here in the background, in
another room. Mark is sat on, like a toilet seat which is egg
shaped. It is like a bucket seat that you sit into, but it is like half an
egg that is an empty shell except for Mark being sat in there.
Which is the only way that I can describe this. This egg that Mark
is sat in rotates and swivels and makes loud noises as it does so.
There are light metallic blue lines to the right of this egg and light
metallic green lines to the left of it.

"So I will go home and get my meal then!" I exclaim to Mark,

knowing full well that he does not want to spark up his light bulb.
In any case it would take too long to cook on that!

22-12-18

(345) Paint It Pastel.

I am with Darren and I am explaining to him how to make himself
feel better. I have painted my health folder a lighter shade of blue
and so I am advising Darren to paint his health folder in any lighter
colour of his choosing.

"Wait a minute!" I tell Darren and then I go off down through this
narrow tunnel. About half a mile down this tunnel I have left some
paint that he can use. "Maybe a satin finish paint would be best?"
I question myself about this. "There are many more paints that I
have got, but they are all deep down in that tunnel. Too deep
down to go and find now."

Darren is quiet but he has been attentive. Maybe he will find some
help in that friendly advice that I have given to him, because I
know that he has been having some emotional problems dealing
with everyday life.

23-12-18

(346) The Black Dog And Her.

All of a sudden I see Annmarie and a black Labrador looking up
and staring at me from the bottom of some steps on this hilly
path. "Hello!" I say, surprised to see them both. "It has been a
long time." I go on to say, as I walk down the steps that I am at the
top off and I walk towards them.

"I don't like that top." Annmarie tells me bluntly and honestly.

"Is it just that they don't go with my trousers?" I ask inquiringly.

"No! I just don't like your top." I am left in no doubt as Annmarie

has told me exactly what she thinks.
All of a sudden Annmarie has a boyfriend there and the
conversation turns to when and where they go out. Apparently
Tuesday is a good day for Annmarie to get out and she does not
do the Facebook thing in social media.

26-12-18

(347) No Bell.
There would have been a bell that went off had these people been
in care. One of them has had their third and fourth vertebrae
infected through lack of appropriate care, but they are not in care
and we do the best we can.

I am aware of a program on the computer, it is called 'The Little

Tap.' This program models the big bang in some way. Just hit the
correct key on the keyboard and it sets the model off running. It
runs off mathematically simulating digitally the big bang. The start
of the universe that we all live in today.

(348) Here I Am!

I am in this dream and I am connecting for free. I set up the
spacings, the timings you see. So that when I wake up I am
sideways you see. Lost in a world under the sheets. So that when I
wake up everything meets. Deep in a world of an astral space. I
am centring myself into a better place. Setting myself up so that
when I wake up, I shall be connected and so much more aware.

27-12-18
(349) The Amnesic Performance.
I am walking around and some of us go to this activity room where
we put on a little show. We all take it in turn to do our turn.
Somehow we all get to now when we are needed to go down to
this room to perform. I say perform, but it is all a bit chaotic.

After performing in the activity room I find myself walking back

with this other chap. We walk past some people who are just sat
around and one of them, a bloke with glasses gives us some
banter. We look across to him, but we do not reply. "What is he on
about?!" I exclaim to the chap who I am walking back with and he
is as perplexed as me.

I go outside and I find myself with this lady. Just her and I, we are
sat in this little wooden boat with snow all around us. We quietly
sit there and watch a young lass on a sledge. This young lass does
not know that we are there watching her as she organise herself
and sorts out the things in her pocket. Then she spits a few times
in the snow. "Hello Jollop!" The lady sat next to me in the boat
says interrupting the young girl on the sledge. The young girl
Jollop is surprised to see us there and she does not answer the
lady. I guess that she is stunned.

Later for some inexplicable reason we watch people on TV being

cut in half from the head down with a sharpe knife!

28-12-18

(350) Musicians' Union.

"You do know that Johnathan jams with the three year old
drummer, don't you?" This man points out to me.
"I just wish that I could find people suitable to jam with." I inform
the man.

"No problem, have a look at these." Then this bloke throws down
an A4 sized envelope onto the table and it slides across to me. I
pick it up. Open it up and I take a look at the sheet of paper inside.
"Take a look at these three." As the bloke points to details about
the top three people on the sheet who want to learn to play their
music better. I take some interest and I take note of their details.

"They might be worth a try." I conclude as I analyse the details of

these three budding musicians a bit more.

(351) The Factory.

I spend all my days working out how to escape the factory. How to
escape this big building of work. I work my way through the lines
of produce. Secretly I remove all the blockages. I make my way
through tunnels of produce, hoping that no one will sus out my
motives. Because I want to escape this big building of work. I wish
to escape The Factory. I factor out all of the production. I open
doors that should not be opened. I go to places in this big building
that are forbidden and I try all the doors to escape. There must be
a way out of here somewhere. I listen to the other people talking,
they do not know what I am about. They are deep in their factory
minds, but I just want to escape and get out. They do not know
what I am doing here as I make my way on my own to a far out
location in this big building. I push all the buttons to open all the
doors and now the alarms are all going off! I manage to find an
exit eventually and before they can get me I walk off. I have finally
escaped this big building of work. So that now I will finally fuck
off!
29-12-18

(352) The Place Names Of People.

We sing to these people, we sing to their song. We sing their place
names and we sing them along.

Up in the hills in the streets in this town. We sing to their

geography as we move up and down. For this is Torquay and the
terrain is so rough that those songs that we sing is never enough
because:

We sing to these people, we sing to their song. We sing their place

names and we sing them along.

Down in the city streets from where they came from. The dirt and
the greed and from so much that is wrong. For the cities are so
rough that those who we sing to it can never enough because:

We sing to these people, we sing to their song. We sing their place

names and we sing them along.

30-12-18

(353) Maybe He Landed On His Head.

I push Joe Strummer in the back and he goes flying out of a
window that opens up. He goes flying out of it head first onto the
grassy lawn next door and then the window promptly and
conveniently closes itself. I pretend that I did not do that. I
pretend that I did not push Joe and I go about my business.
Later I meet up with someone and I tell them that I am looking for
Joe. "I need to see Joe for something," I tell her. It is mainly to see
that he is alright I guess. We walk around looking for Joe in the
forest for a while. Then this person who I am with asks someone
where Joe is, but she does not call him Joe. Apparently he has
another name also, but I forget what she calls him.

"He has got a hangover." We are told by this rather informative

man.

"Why do people drink." I wonder to myself and I imagine his

hangover headache from hell and what he is going through.

(354) To Aggle And Daggle.

In my relationship with her we "aggle" like a golden labrador's tail
curling round. Then we "daggle" and the relationship is over, as
quick as that!

Riff:
e|-5- -3-
B|- -5- -3-
G|- - - - - -4-3-2-
D|
A|- - - - - - - - - - - - - -2-1-0
E|- - - - - - - - - - -0-3-

Not Me.

[Intro] Riff x2
[Chorus]
Oh [E]I can't [A]be how you [C]want me to [E]be. [G] [D] [A]
No [E]I can't [A]be who you [C]want me to [E]be. [G] [D] [A]
[N.C]No not me.

[Verse 1]
[E]You're the [G]one to [D]give me a [A]trace
[E]I can't [G]get you [D]out of my [A]face.
[E]You give it [G]all and I [D]get it a [A]lot
[E]Oh [G]baby [D]you're so [A]hot!

[Pre Chorus]
[E]I'm in [G]trouble and [D]you're to [A]blame
[E]My [G]life will never [D]be the [A]same.
[E]I was [G]down and [D]in a [A]rut. [E] [G] [D] [A]

[Chorus]
But [E]I can't [A]be how you [C]want me to [E]be. [G] [D] [A]
No [E]I can't [A]be who you [C]want me to [E]be. [G] [D] [A]
[N.C]No not me.

[Verse 2]
[E]I [G]love you the [D]way that you [A]are
[E]but for [G]me you [D]take it too [A]far.
[E]You're so [G]kind and [D]you're so [A]good
[E]I can [G]feel it now I [D]know that I [A]should.

[Pre Chorus]
[E]I'm in [G]trouble and [D]you're to [A]blame
[E]My [G]life will never [D]be the [A]same.
[E]I was [G]down and [D]in a [A]rut. [E] [G] [D] [A]

[Chorus]
But [E]I can't [A]be how you [C]want me to [E]be. [G] [D] [A]
No [E]I can't [A]be who you [C]want me to [E]be. [G] [D] [A]
[N.C]No not me.

[Outro]
EGDA
[Riff]

____________________________________________________

January 2019

____________________________________________________

1-1-19

(355) Home Carer.

I see a lawn mower on the path outside as I am walking along it. I
am sure that that is our lawn mower. It is orange in colour and it
looks a little bit like a hoover to me. It is the blades that give it
away though. Anna must have left this out and so I take it into our
kitchen. I am surprised that it separates into two parts and I notice
that the orange handle part of the hoover is floating in the air!
Then I realise that I have got it hooked onto a piece of string which
for some reason is attached to the kitchen ceiling.

My Dad is in the kitchen. He is alarmed about someone who he

knows. "Jim has cut his neck and he is telling everyone that he has
got cancer!" My dad is restless. He is blind now. He just has dark
holes for eyes. He grabs me and scratches me with his nails.

"Look just relax dad!" I tell him with the calmest voice that I can
find within me, but still he carries on grabbing me and scratching
me. I need help with him. I cannot go on like this, I tell myself.

2-1-19

(356) An Evaluation.
I am helping these elderly people get dressed. I am just evaluating
how coherant they really are. Sometimes people's minds go when
they get older, but these ladies here are as clear as a clear plastic
bag whilst dressed in a pale blue sort of way.

3-1-19

(357) A Gamble.
I am aware of a government initiative to get people to explore the
Antarctic. British citizens to go out there to live. That is all well and
good, but when other nations are also competing for the Antarctic
then our nationals will get neglected. Our government cannot be
trusted.

I am on a bus as I think the above. I gaze out of the bus window at

the sunlight that comes through the leaves on the trees. I am
struck by the tiny checked pattern on the leaves as I analyse them
closely, as the rays of sunlight penetrate the gaps between the
leaves on the trees. Then somehow it all reminds me of a game of
cards.

(358) Patience Is A Virtue.

I go round to see a carer at his house. "I am going to pick up a new
patient." I inform him. I inform him because I know that he has
done something similar recently.

"Good luck with that one!" He tells me with a knowing look on his
face. "No, I should not say that." He promptly corrects himself and
I get the feeling that he did not have a easy experience recently
when he piced up his new patient.

He shows me a paperback book that has come though the post for
him. I notice the black cover with a few stars on it and I notice that
it is the zodiac sign of Scorpio. Without thinking I blut out
"Scorpio."

"Yes." He says. "How appropriate is that?" And I am thinking that

maybe his birth sign is Scorpio.

So then I decide that it is time for me to get going and I thank him
for the strawberries. He looks surprised at me. Then I am suddenly
not sure if I have even had any strawberries, but I let it go and I
say goodbye.

(359) Someone Maybe In Hot Water!

I am in a large room with light beige tiles and a massive stainless
steel bath. "This is my bath!" I exclaim to Mark as I proudly show it
off. There is some concern with scolding hot water that I have.
There is someone pouring boiling hot water onto the floor from
massive stainless steel vats and I also have concerns about the
water in my huge stainless steel bath that may be scolding.

4-1-18

(360) Chaotic Conversation.

I see my grandma. She is my dad's mum. We have a chat and then
my dad arrives and he wishes me a happy birthday. "Happy thirty
first birthday." My dad says to me. But it is dad's birthday today, I
think to myself and my birthday is not on the same day as my
dad's birthday.

"But I am fifty three!" I tell him.

"You're fifty three!" My grandma interupts, very surprised at how

old I have gotten. I then get given a seven day diet plan from her.
It is all typed out on a sheet of A4 paper. It is printed out neatly
with a grid of foods to eat and a tick in each of the seven boxes, as
each box represents a day of the week.

5-1-19

(361) "It's Showtime! For Floydy People."

We are all in this grand old mansion. Where Pink Floydy people
live. We set up a show peice high up in the ceiling, where these
fury animals in costumes like catapillars crawl about on the ceiling.
It is a trick you now, all done by mirrors. Well I am high up in the
ceiling preparing for the show peice. It is all illegal you know and
we do not want anyone else to know. But we are all high up, stuck
up in the ceiling. So then this lass up there she decides to bravely
jump down. "Ouch! My feet!" She cries as she lands hard onto the
ground.

"She's done it! She's got down!" I think out loud to myself and so I
place one of my hands on top of a huge bookcase that is full of
books, that goes right up high up in the ceiling, but the bookcase
is unsteady. It all begins to wobble. I am so surprised. I thought
that it would be much more secure than that. So then I too find
the courage to jump down from that great height you know. Then
this chap in a kilt inadvertantly knocks the whole bookcase down.
He is so embarrassed that he does this little nervous dance and I
find myself telling him how great his dancing is. Well he took me
by surprise I never knew that he could dance like that and then
people start to laugh at me!

"He's being, NICE!" I hear someone say about me, but I do not let
it phase me. I let the people tease me and I walk around this Pink
Floydy mansion here with pride. There is nothing and no one in
here that I need to hide from! There is no one in here that can
really get me down!

6-1-19

(362) Unusual Events Will Happen.

My dad and I we have some unusual experiences and we discuss:

"That time that I threw a stone and as soon as I had let go of the
stone another stone hit my hand. That stone ricocheted off my
hand and went straight up into the air and then when it came
back down again I managed to catch it!"

"That power grid tower holding up electrical cables in the air that
we were both stood under, it was holding loads of stones on it. I
threw a stone up at the power grid tower and we had to take
cover from all the stones that came falling down!"

We recall many events on this afternoon that perplex us. Strange

experiences that we cannot account for.
7-1-19

(363) Being Equal. 0=0

There is someone that I know, but just because I know them
socially does not mean that they are any more special or any more
important than others. I contemplate on this. I like to be equal to
everyone. I am being conscious about this:

"How much are you and how zero are you too?"

There is nothing more abstract than nothing and that is a paradox.

9-1-19

(364) On The Edge.

"The trouble is that the people who are doing the books are not
doing the fighting."

There are so many soldiers, of whom I am one. We cover the land,

but we wander down specific areas. Unofficially I throw something
out there. I throw something out there to the barren land that we
are told to avoid. I do this to reveal any land mines that are
believed to be out there, but there are no land mines out there.
When humanity has finally covered all this land, then we shall be
on the edge. Everyone shall be tested. When everyone discovers
that there are no land mines out there, then humanity shall
explode into volitility. How trigger happy are you? Can you
negociate these troubling times without losing your head? We
shall be tested for we are on the precipice now! We shall be
tested and to negociate these times, I am wondering, how I am
going to do this?

10-1-19

(365) Dummy Head.

There is this man and he takes over too much. He has long dark
hair, dark eyes and a dark mustache. Every choice he makes is a
contribution to the formation of a fake head. Every thought, every
decision is another step to a dummy head that begins to look
more and more like him. His long dark hair, dark eyes and dark
mustache. And I am annoyed because I want the dummy head in
my image. I want it to look like me! I resentfully hold up and show
him his fake head in its completion. He makes some irritating
remark about his fake head that he has decidedly created for
himself. He is really too much to bare. So then I throw his head
down onto a shelf in contempt and his fake face turns away. It rolls
away on this shelf to face the wall.

11-1-19

(366) Forty People Invited.

It is Mark's birthday this week. He is fifty seven and I am invited to
his beer night. We are to meet at the Jolly Brewer pub in
Clasketgate, Lincoln on Saturday night 12th January 2019. It was
meant to start at 8pm, but apparently it starts at three in the
afternoon now. The time has changed because Mark wants to get
an early start drinking.
13-1-19

(367) Drawings From An Art Teacher.

I get a letter through the post from Sacha. Inside there are
drawings that she has done. There is a damaged card with rude
cartoon pictures. There is a snowman card that folds out into four
pages at right angles to each other and when you spin him around
his facial expressions change. I flick through these drawings and
more and I am pleased to see them. They are all just casually
drawn pictures, sometimes in biro, sometimes in pencil. I have
never sent her any of my drawings I think to myself. Maybe I can
find some of interest.

16-1-19

(368) Old Components.

I go to the bag full of electrical components and I find an old
collection of jacks and joysticks and things all joined together. I
am interested in the old 6.3 milimeter jack. I think that I could do
something with that. I could soon unplug it and take it. It is a rare
find and I do not want to miss this opportunity.

(369) A Love Letter To Sacha.

Thank you Sacha for the jam session last Sunday. It was so nice to
see you and Jo again. You look so well and fit and healthy. You
shine with confidence now. I am so pleased for you. You look so
happy. I have always had so much love for you. I do not know
where that comes from! You are such a great inspiration to me
and you have really put my life onto a good path. I was so self
conscious last Sunday when I met you and I could feel my heart
flutter when I was with you. How do you do that to me? You are
proof to me that it is possible to love someone without being in a
relationship with them, but we have both moved on so much in
one year. I must admit that knowing you has been very difficult for
me at times because of the emotional challenges that you have
faced and because I love you so much, but I would not change
anything. You are so kind and a great friend to me. You have
helped to put my life onto a great path and if it was not for
meeting you then I would not have been so inspired and I would
not have this life down here in Torquay that I enjoy so much. Keep
being the shining light that you are and know that you are loved.

17-1-19

(370) Forgiven.
I am chasing some young lads in my speed boat, but I am not too
bothered if I catch up with them. I just enjoy riding this speed
boat. I lose sight of them and so I casually flow across the water in
my boat when suddenly they are spotted in their boat again. They
do not see me at first and so I catch up with them. I give chase
again. I get so close to them until they finally abandon their boat.
As they quickly get off they go down through a narrow passage.
There is about four of them.

Much later on when the chase has all been forgotten about. When
time has moved on and everything has calibrated itself. and when
those discrepancies that once were, have now resolved
themselves. There is no need for retribution and so the four have
evaded their capture. They are not on the run anymore. They do
not need to look over their shoulders because they are free to
intermingle as if nothing has ever happened.
(371) Back To Life.
A man is buried under the ground. He is buried for many days.
Until one day he just jumps up out of the ground and quickly takes
off his face masks one by one that he has been buried with. He
jumps out of the ground because of course once you have been
buried you can always come back again.

There is a workman on the ground when the buried man suddenly

jumps up out of the ground. The workman does not make too
much of this man. The workman then says:

"I am due to be at the river Benton when he is due to be buried

again next year. Did I tell you I was French?"

Appearently the man has done this before. You bury him and he
jumps up out of the ground again sometime later!

18-1-19

(372) Stick To A Rhino Jive.

There is a way to sniff glue. I walk right into a function room and I
sniff that glue, but I choke and cough out and splutter. There is a
way to sniff glue. I walk right up to the stage and I show them how
it is done. All the animals are dancing as I am sniffing glue and as I
look around to watch what they do.

(373) A Woman In Her Prime. (meditative dream)

I see a woman who is like an athlete. She looks like a runner with a
number on her front. This number is her representation. It is a
large number #872536951. She wears her number on the front of
her white top that she has on. She has some shorts on also and
she looks fit and healthy. This number that she has is like a bar
code, but is it a prime?

(374) The Spirit Of The Sea.

I am out for a walk. I get onto this boat. There is a man on this
boat who falls into some water which is also on this boat and I
hear another man make fun of him, but they do not see me as I
quietly walk past them. I then realise that this boat is being
referbished and that what I came on board this boat for is not
here. So quickly and quietly I make my way off this boat without
the two men on board noticing me. I make my way up onto an
embankment once I am off the boat when I am suddenly struck by
the presence of the sea. I am suddenly aware of how great the sea
is and how the sea gets into your awareness. I become so
conscious of the sea in this moment that it takes me over
completely.

19-1-19

(375) A Balance Of What Is Good And What Is Not.

It is all a bit feminine you see, but then I do work with a bunch of
women. I find myself between the argument of two people. I find
that I have a great realisation in this position and then it takes me
the same amount of time to realise my mistake. fifty seconds it
takes me and then it all finally balances out.
20-1-19

(376) On The Back Of Horsey.

I am dreaming about riding a horse in my slumber. So we walk
about from our slumber in our left foot first and then in our right
foot. I find myself waking up in bed from my slumber as I wonder
where I am for a second.

21-1-19

(377) Down To Earth.

I go around to Eileen's house as I have some seeds to plant there.
It feels a little awkward at first, as I am working in her private
garden you see. I spend so much time there in her garden. She
does not mind though as I nurture her plants. I work my fingers
into her ground. Nice and moist, I feel around in her ground there!

Down To Earth.

I go around to Eileen's house

I have some seeds to plant there.
It feels a little awkward at first,
as I am working in her private garden you see.
I spend so much time in there,
working her garden.
She does not mind though
as I nurture her plants.
I work my fingers into her ground.
Nice and moist,
I feel around
 in her ground there!

22-1-19

(378) The Couple Next Door.

There are these two great apes. They are a couple. It is a job to
know what to do with them. I mean are they dangerous? We give
them hot cups of tea and they each take two capsules of
medication. I wonder if that is good for them. But one of them
hangs around me. He keeps communicating something to me. I do
not really understand him. I really do not understand him! And I
am a bit wary of him.

Later the apes go into another space, but I can still see them
huddled together. They are in the next room, but I can see them
through a thick brick wall like a pencil sketch in three dimensions.
They flicker with pencil marks into view and so we go round to see
them in the room next door.

I am not sure what has led up to all of this. There is a big chapter
missing here. These big hairy apes they freak me out! It is a job to
know how to act around them!

(379) Just By Chance?

There is this chap talking to is wife on his mobile phone. I hear him
mention Thirsk Drive to her and I decide to say something to him:

"I used to live in Thirsk Drive."

I tell him this enthusiastically but he is too busy talking to his wife
and so he dismisses me. You see this man is my neighbour down
here and Thirsk Drive is hundreds of miles up north. I have lived in
Thirsk drive for many years just as he has also. Now what are the
chances of that? Of all the streets in the UK what is the chance
that we have both lived in Thirsk Drive?

Later I am putting up these leather blinds in front of our window.

The blinds go from the ceiling to the floor and they look like belts
just hanging there. There is a wooden platform that you can sit on
running around the walls of te room and some of the blinds/belts
have been cut short to accomodate this wooden platform. Some
of the blinds/belts have buckles on them. So as to be able to add
another blind/belt to it and extend it longer. It is all a little messy
as the belts are all different colours. For some reason this
neighbour is helping us to put these blinds up in our room.

23-1-19

(380) The Big Picture Has Faded Away.

Adie Atkin is a boy racer in his sporty orange car. There is some
reference to speaking Mexican authentically with him. Adie is
impressed with anyone who can do this and I get a load of
symbols and writings downloaded to me, but I feel that I do not
understand it.

I am aware that there is a woman who dies from cancer of the

brain. I imagine floaty bits in the brain disturbing the thinking
processes more and more until finally things just fizzle out. I
imagine what that might feel like. Interupted thought patterns
until you finally find yourself completely blocked.
24-1-19

(381) In The Meantime.

I get into this large house without using the door bell. I have just
started to live here in this house in a kind of secret way. I think
that the authorities will be onto me soon. I have told someone my
plans to follow a river south and I think that they may grass on me
you see. But in the meantime I have gotten into this house where I
hide. I got in behind other people who also like to perform. Like
me they also come to this house regularly just to get away. On the
way up here I listened to some people who gossip. I heard people
talk to each other over their garden fences as I walked past them
along the driveway. I find that I look over my shoulders constantly
now. I imagine that maybe the authorities are onto me. But for
now I am free to do my thing. Soon I shall be along that river
within those safe flowing waters discretely heading south. I plan
to continually travel down that endless river for as long as I am
free to do so. I feel that I need to do this to escape an unkind life
of persicution. I feel that I need to do this to escape a life of
mental cruelty that has now become accepted as the norm by so
many people on this prision planet.

(382) Down Right Devious.

I met my ex by chance, she is with this older attractive woman. We
are all polite to each other and it is interesting to me that we
should all meet up like this. Then I get given a music CD by
another woman who briefly passes by us. Appearently she creates
her own original music.

I go inside this house for a little while. I find myself looking out of
the window from upstairs. I find myself looking down onto my ex
and her attractive friend. I am up there for a while as I delineate
the time that has passed since I have seen my ex. As I internalize
how I feel about this chance meeting between my ex and myself
and her attractive friend of course.

Later in the privacy of my own room I find myself looking in the

mirror. I find a spot on my forehead underneath a thin metalic
membrane that is my skin. My skin is naturaly copper in colour. I
watch as the thin metallic membrane of my skin bubbles up into a
single dome before quickly forming a pin prick of a head as I
sqeeze it. A pin prick of a head that releases the matter from
within the spot through its tiny hole. I watch fascinated as a little
bit of gunk oozes out of the head and runs down the dome of the
spot. I am suddenly interupted in this private moment by the
woman who has given me her CD of original music that she has
recorded. "Why did you take this CD of mine and burn a copy for
yourself?" She enquires. The truth is that I did not burn off a copy
of her CD, although previously I told her that I did, for some
inexplicable reason that I cannot fathom out myself. I told her a
lie. So now I find myself not knowing how to answer her. We are
both there together looking at each other in this room
emotionally connected, but I am stood ther unsure and hesitant
how to communicate to her. Whilst she is stood there in front of
me struggling to work me out.

25-1-19

(383) Off At The Weekend.

I am ill with a cold tonight and someone comes to me in my sleep.
I feel a presence check me out. They like to know what it is like to
suffer a cold. A blocked nose and a body chill. I am brought back
from my slumber with my dressing gown on over my PJ's and with
a mug of hot chocolate to warm me up. I will keep my dressing
gown on when I get back into bed after I have drunk my hot
chocolate. A twelve hour work shift starts early for me tomorrow
morning and then I will be off work Saturday and Sunday. I do not
know who has visited me in my sleep but it is kind of reassuring.

27-1-19

(384) The Reception.

I am family now. It feels a little strange all these hugs and kisses
that I get now, but I find that I have become accepted.

I am invited to go swimming with the others. The others are all

women. So I am left on my own to make my way as a male. There
is a pannel of people who accept people into this swimming
collective and a complicated pattern is mapped out for me to get
into the pool. I am accepted but even though I tell them my name
they do not know who I am. They will think of me differently when
they get to know me. I think this to myself with all my confidence
as I think about how things were last year with all the energy
around that rubber ring and all.

So I am in my dressing gown and swimming trunks now. I have

been given a basket of soaps and things, but all I need is a map to
get me to the pool. I think this to myself as I rummage through the
basket of gift items that has been given to me. Two, two, fifteen is
the direction that I must follow as I make my way to this pool. I
see a map on the wall to help me to find my way to the pool by
following the two, two, fifteen route. But suddenly I am not
confident anymore. I may not be as fit now as I have been. How
will I be received?

28-1-19

(385) High Flyer.

I see Maz and Ian and we have a bit of banter. I am swinging
around up in the air when suddenly I get stuck. I get caught up on
something and so I just sit up there, high up in the air and I make a
call out to be rescued. I am soon rescued and so undeterred I get
myself swinging about high up in the sky again. I am really flying
up high pushing the limits when I suddenly get caught up and
stuck up in the air for a second time. I put out a call and these
rescue people are fantastic. So this time I decide to swing out even
higher than I have ever been before. I mean so high that it beggers
belief and I am astounded when I get caught up for a third time,
but this time I am so high up. I mean I am weigh up high. I did not
think that there was anything to get caught up on this high up. I
get rescued again after I embarrassingly put the call out for the
third time.

So I am waiting to be picked up on the ground after my third

rescue when I hear someone shout out, "Hey! It's Lord Berty." I
look up and I see this big black dog like man with a smile on his
face twitching his little black turned up nose at me as he watches
me with his beady little eyes and shuffles past me. Then in no time
at all this cat like woman in a little bus comes barging along to pick
me up and take me back. "Can you get in there?" I hear someone
ask The Cat Woman and then with that there is some adjustment
in the traffic and The Cat Woman finally makes the last short
distance over to meet me. With that I miraculously find myself on
board with her ready to be taken back home by her.

(386) More Of Who She Is.

I meet a girl who I have not seen in a long while. She went out
traveling the world, but she is back now. We meet again working
in a shop. I am manouvering these big electric trollies when we
get chatting. She is older now, but we still have the same daft
chemistry together that we had before. She has short blonde hair
now. She is very chatty. I notice how much fatter the tops of her
arms are now and her little double chin that she never had before.

29-1-19

(387) I Do Not Judge.

I am at this gig and there are many different artists all joining in as
they all take their turn up on stage. Doug tries to work out which
artists I like the best, but I will not reveal anything to him. He
teases me telling me who my favorite artists are by picking those
who he thinks I least like, but I am cool. I do not yield to his
teasing. He is desperate to know, but he is getting nowhere with
me.

30-1-19

(388) C Major Or A Minor.

I am in this large building. I have been given a keyboard, but there
are no black keys. So I do a white key improvisation. Except for the
fact that the white keys are a more grey colour and they are not
really keys either. More of a touch pad with worn indentations
that my fingers go over and dip into.

31-1-19

(389) A Phantom Song.

I find myself writing a new song with Dave Eagan. This song is
called, "Take A Long Summer Off." I do not think that Dave is all
that comfortable creating a new original song and so I have to lead
the way. This song that we write reminds us of another song, but
we just cannot place which song that is.

A Phantom Song In C Major Or A Minor.

I am in this large building.

I have been given a keyboard,
but there are no black keys.
So I do a white key improvisation.
Except for the fact that
the white keys are a more grey colour
and they are not really keys either.
More of a touch pad with worn indentations
that my fingers go over and dip into.

I find myself writing a new song with Dave Eagan.

This song is called, "Take A Long Summer Off."
I do not think that Dave is all that comfortable
creating a new original song like this
and so I have to lead the way.
This song that we write reminds us of another song,
 but we just cannot place which song that is.

____________________________________________________

February 2019

____________________________________________________

1-2-19

(390) The Right Earth.

I can see two Earths. They are identical, but instead of being blue
they are both red. High up in the sky but seperated I can make out
the continents on each Earth. They are like two moons up in the
sky and I am astounded.

"So it is true, there are two Earths! I had better find peace within
my heart and get onto the right Earth." I confirm to myself.
Meditation and a dedication to improving my inner self will get me
onto the right Earth and so my years of preperation should
hopefully serve me now.

An equation to measure how diverse a set of numbers are:

Level 2:

with 2 integers a and b, there are 2!=2 possabilities

a/b = (b/a)^-1
where a<b then a/b < b/a.

Level 3:

with 3 integers a, b and c, there are 3!=6 possabilities

A = a/b + b/c + c/a = z

A^-1 = a/c + b/a + c/b = z^-1

set(A){0,1,2} ---> {a+1,b+1,c+1}

because when we divide by zero we get an error set(A) becomes

{1,2,3} We have added one to each entity to avoid zeros.

if a=1, b=2, c=3,

then we get:

1/2 + 2/3 + 3/1 = 3/6 + 4/6 + 18/6 = 25/6 = 4 1/6

a/b + b/c + c/a = (a/c + b/a + c/b)^-1 = z

2-2-19

(391) (A)n (A)rt Movement.

I come from a street where there were plenty of punks and they
were all successful in their own way. I must have come from a
good street, I think to myself as I look back at Dave who was one
of the first pioneering punks. He was tall with long hair and tinted
round glasses, but he had a certain way about him. He was one of
the first punks, but there were many others who followed in his
footsteps that came from down that street. An attitude nurtured
and bred by an uncaring society to disconform and I came from a
long line of people who have perfected this art.

4-2-19

(392) Coercion.
I am being dodgy. I am stealing things. I know that it is wrong and I
feel quite bad about this, but we must do what we have to do to
survive. I am with two other people in a store house. We have our
bags and we are filling them up with various things. We will just
take these things free of charge and we have someone here who
we have coerced. They are helping us to take what we want. They
are in a compromised position and we know what we are doing. In
the back of my mind I search for things to justify my own devious
actions, but deep down inside I know that I am wrong. I am a bad
boy. This has all been planned. I have my dodgy mates. I have my
stolen goods, including a powerful black sporty car that stears like
a bag of shit. I have my stolen goods stashed away, ready to collect
another day. This is gangland and we have our dodgy lives, doing
all those dodgy things that us dodgy people like to do.

5-2-19

(393) An Old Habit.

I borrow a cigarette off Paula and we enjoy a cigarette together
with her mum Pauline who is also smoking. Paula and her mum
seem to be sharing a joke about me that I do not get. We share an
ash tray but I struggle to reach it. Somehow there are cobwebs
that catch the ash that falls off my cigarette and so there are
clumps of grey ash just hanging in the air. We decide to make a
move. I have not finished my cigarette so I take out the glowing
ember to save some of the cigarette for later but the cigarette falls
apart. So I decide to throw away what is left of the cigarette. I
have run out of cigarettes and so I will just have to gasp for a
cigarette ater when I need one, I think to myself.

I wonder to myself how long have I been smoking again? I do not

smoke a lot, but I will have to stop smoking. I keep borrowing
other people's cigarettes. I really need to pay them back. I smell
my hands and they smell of nicotine smoke. I used to be pleased
with myself that I did not smoke, but now I cannot claim to be a
non smoker anymore. That is disappointing!

7-2-19

(394) All Along.

I am with this lass. She is so theatrical. We sing and make up songs
together. We give an impromptu performance by a train station.
Off the top of our heads we play with our voices. We notice
another woman who is listening to us. She watches us and we are
well aware of her. We show off to her and perform out in the
street in front of her, by the railway station. We act out and deliver
our song. This song that we make up all along:

Shoo boo bar bang, lang a long, shong a dong!

9-2-19

(395) Dancing In The Street.

As a band ourselves we meet another band who are actually really
quite good at what they do. They are often great musicians. We
have a chance meeting in the street with such a band and we give
an impromptu performance together:

There are four of them and four of us. I notice them first as they
walk over to us. "Hey look! I know this band!" I say to my other
band members and with that there is a spontaneous burst of
musical creativity. A spontaneous impromptu performance, where
we all dance and play our instruments together. There is a sudden
collaboration of unrehearsed creative energy on these concrete
streets that echo out a synergy of sound that we make between
us, as we proudly show off our musicianship and we are
awesome!

(396) The Beguining. The datum point.

I go into this night club. I decide not to dance like I danced when I
danced before and so I keep a low profile for a while, until I can
keep a low profile no more. So gradually I start to dance with the
others. I work my way in.

Outside there is a man playing an Irish jig on a recorder. He is sat

on the ground blowing out his tune as his fingers navigate the
holes and they dance along the recorder. I wander around and
then later I notice that the man is now lying on the ground playing
his recorder, but this time the recorder is tiny and this time he
plays it with his feet. With fascination I watch him as his toes
dance along this tiny recorder, as he blows out this fast little ditty.

Later I find myself walking along eyeing up this wall. I am looking

to see how I can walk along it, but there are obstacles. The wall
has a line of thick wooden planks upon it that sometimes form
into little wooden shelters along the way. All these planks have
been painted in a dark purple gloss paint. Soon I plan to walk
along these planks upon this wall, but first I must decide my
starting point.

10-2-19

(397) What A Performance.

There are these two blokes who play in a duo. They perform some
songs where I live. The guitarist lays down on a carpet that he
brings along with him to play his guitar. His guitar has a big harp
built into it. As he plays his guitar he rolls around this carpet that
he has brought with him. He rolls around like he is having
passionate sex with his guitar and harp combo. Then I realise that
there is a strange little woman in there with him. Later I talk to the
other member of the duo , the singer who has purple spikey hair
and apparently it is a bloke and not a woman. It is all a bit wierd.

(398) The Audience Are Hiding.

I am playing my guitar and singing along outside this pub in the
beer garden which is empty. There is no one about. I do my set of
songs and then afterwards as I put my guitar away back into its
case, music comes on out through the loud speakers in the beer
garden. The landlord in this pub must have known that I have
been playing my guitar in the beer garden, I think to myself, but he
does not make himself known and then I go off. I walk off, on my
way.

(399) She Is Not Shy.

I bring this girl back home. I live with my parents and my sister. I
do not know what they think about her. She has glasses on and
she is smoking in our house. She has dropped ash onto our carpet
but she is oblivious to this. She is a hairdresser. I have six cheap
bottles of shampoo. I bet that she would not use this sort of
shampoo on her hair. I would ask her but it seems obvious to me
that she would use something better than this shampoo.
Something a little more expensive I guess. My girlfriend seems to
have found her way around my house. I am sat here on my own.
Who is she talking to now? She has really made herself at home.

11-2-19

(400) In The Hood.

The battery on my motorbike is almost flat. So I cannot use my
lights. There is a thief in my neighbourhood who has stolen my
wheels and I have forgotten to give my mum her money that is
due. I am at a loss here and I am angry. I have been cheated. I take
it out on someone and they do not know why I am like I am. I take
it out on someone and it is nothing to do with them.

13-2-19
(401) When Time Was Bigger.
Bedrooms used to be so much bigger. Like swathes of sheets upon
rolling hills I used to climb into those beds so spacious and smooth
within rooms so large, but those old days have gone now. These
are the cramped times that we live in now, as we fit everything
into a time so small. I miss those spacious days lost in sheets and
blankets. Like rolling hyperbolic hillside tops of covers. When
everything happened so slowly. They were a place where I could
go to, to rest and hide in.

14-2-19

(402) The Sound Recording And The Crystaline Structure.

I am in a recording studio. There is four of us. One lass and three
blokes. One of the blokes is using the technology that we have to
record us on. He sets the recording level to a finer and finer level
until I am concerned that he will break this technology with such a
fine accuracy. I am concerned that this track will become so thin
and so brittle in its fineness that it will just snap and break up. The
others are all gamers, but I am not and so there are video games
integrated into this technology which I have nothing to do with. I
am only here to record music. So we must decide who will record
first. "Who are you going to vote for to record first?" I am asked.
After not much thought I point to the lass and in no time at all she
is up and keen to start her recording.

Later towards the end of the recording session I find myself

looking outside through a window. I watch as ice forms its crystal
structured patterns on the window outside and then disappears
only to reappear again in a different form. Until finally a long
crystaline ice structure stuck on the window outside turns and
moves on its own in such a way that it can open the window that I
am looking through. I am astounded. "It has intelligence!" I cry out
loud to the others in astonishment.

15-2-19

(403) A Step To The Right.

This modern way of living gets confusing. I am caught up in the
shops shopping. I am rushing here and I am queuing up there. I do
not know what to ask for half the ruddy time. I get corralled into
doing things that I feel I ought not do. I watch this young lass and
she is doing dodgy stuff. She helps me with my shopping but there
is an issue with her driving. There is something not quite right
there. She seems to be taking chances doing things she ought not
do. It is all this modern way of living and taking things by chance.
We all get corralled into doing things and she is doing a merry
dance. Spending all her time, spending all her money that she
does not have and doing dodgy deals. There is something not
quite right here and this is how it feels.

(404) Distractions.
People are socialising. The back garden is a right mess. There are
toys and playing cards strewn all over the lawn. I am wanting to do
some channeling. I am wanting to get in touch with some higher
realms through meditation, but there are too many distractions.
Do not get me wrong there is some good banter and people are
having fun, but I want to find a space. I want to take myself away
to find a higher perspective.

There is this bloke who gets us all together. We are all sat on this
big settee outside in the garden. "Anybody older than Jenkins is
too old." He tells us. Jenkins is a young lad who is sat on the settee
with us. He is very alert but he does not say anything.

"That includes me." I admit putting my hand up.

The bloke then points to nearly everyone as being too old. "That
includes you, you, you and you." He says as he points to us
individually.

"Yes and what about you?" Someone retorts back to the bloke.
Then the bloke just lays on the grass not bothering to answer the
question at all. All I can see is his floppy head of hair on top of his
head as he rolls over to find a comfy place to lay down on the
lawn, but I am ready to go now. I am ready to find a place on my
own. To find a space to reach the higher realms as I make my way
to a wooden shed at the bottom of the garden. This will be my
retreat now.

(405) The Death Of David Icke.

I am running the rooftops as I listen to David Icke talking to
someone: "Do you remember Mrs Yellow?" David asks this man.

"No I do not remember her." Confesses the other chap.

Undiscouraged David goes on to talk in depth about Mrs Yellow.

So I am running the rooftops when I find myself at a dead end on

this roof top building. There is a tower ahead of my too high to
climb and walls to the ground either side of me. I have to make my
way back. This building is trecherous. I am being so very careful
navigating these dizzying heights when I suddenly witness David
Icke fall off this building. It is a long way down and he hits the
concrete ground with a splat and a rattle of all the bones in his
skelleton. I am compelled to look down and I see a skelleton in red
bleeding on the floor. Horrified by the sight I quickly look back up
again.

So now I am on my own running the rooftops as I make a dash

onto solid concrete. I find myself in the streets of some sunny
town and I mingle in with the crowd as they meander
haphazardously as tourists do.

73,854 words so far.

16-2-19

(406) Missing!
"Against all the work she's done and the things she ate. She is not
there." As the song goes and I cannot find her. I am looking
everywhere but, "She's Not There!" I am in the process of piecing
it together. It is a new song for me. I am searching everywhere in
my mind for those pieces and finally I find, she's not there!

(407) I See ...

I see Andy B. My phone goes off, flashing a blue screen and I get
distracted. I did not get a chance to catch up with Andy or even
get a handover from him about the client who I work for and who
needs my support. I am on with my client next. I did not even
answer my phone call. "I do not know who that is phoning me and
so I will not answer it." I say out loud and defiently. I say this
whilst Andy is there. Later I feel a little guilty. Maybe Andy thinks
that I ignore all my phone calls. I feel that I am being distant
towards people. Although I did not answer my call on my phone I
find myself doing other things on my phone that keep me
distracted.

I see Peter Stow. He is still doing engineering, but it does not

agree with him anymore. He has been telling me about his
troubles. He shows me his fingers. They are like bare wooden
twigs stripped of their bark. He has cavities in his face with large
screwed up pieces of paper inside them. There is moss on him and
little bushes that have sprouted up from his right side shoulder. He
looks like a walking tree. Appearently it is because engineering
does not agree with him, but engineering is what he wants to do.
It is engineering that is in his heart or so he thinks, but I am
shocked. He tells me that he has not done care work for a long
time now.

I see ...

17-2-19

(408) Previously ...

I am on a train. I have been on a train for ages, or rather I am sat
in the cab of an articulated lorry which is travelling on the carriage
of a frieght train. This is all deep underground in a tunnel sytem of
railway tracks.

Previously we had to stop in the tunnel. It is very dark and dank

down here. There is massive amounts of earth that has been
shifted beside these train tracks and I did freak out a bit when we
stopped. You see I was out of the train standing by the train tracks
in this underground system and I was concerned that two trains
would come at the same time on different tracks from opposite
directions leaving me with nowhere to stand in safety. I was
concerned that I would get sucked under their carriages and be
killed under the rolling stock as they passed. That is how I ended
up in this articulated lorry cab on this freight train. I thought that
it was the safest place to be.

Previously before my railway journey I had been on a motorbike. I

was riding pillion. I shat myself! I was not in control and we were
speeding through these wet streets at night. I kept saying, "Slow
down!" I told him that these wet streets will be slippery but he
would not slow down and we had a crash. I was so surprised that I
was not injured in a crash at such high speed. I left the
motorcyclist before I caught the freight train. I left the motorcyclist
as he had a smoke beside his motorbike that he had crashed. It
has all been an ordeal for me, but now I am in this articulated
lorry, which in turn is on this freight train carriage and we are
deep underground in this tunnel system that is dark and empty.
Soil has been shifted beside the railway tracks and there are great
chasms within this tunnel system. It is all quite an adventure. I am
not in control. I do not know where it will all end up, on what feels
like my endless journey.

Previously ...

18-2-19

(409) No More Fighting.

I have this dangerous fury pet creature, But it needs putting down.
It has had an accident and it is in pain. It looks like its head is
inside out. There is someone who I know and he has a bazooka. I
want to use his bazooka to put my fury animal pet friend out of its
misery. "Do you mind?" I ask him in a motion to take his bazooka.

"No! I'll do it!" He says forceably, not wanting to share his bazooka
with me. There has always been tension between us but this poor
creature seems to have united us now. He needs us to take him
out of his awful life here in this world and then suddenly with one
blast my little dangerous fury creature is no more and it has been
taken out of its miserable life here.

19-2-19

(410) In A Shared House.

I am living in this household. I have not met everyone who lives
here yet and I go upstairs for the first time. I go upstairs to see
what is on TV up there. It sounds like there is football on. I am not
interested in football, but there are some girls who I have never
met before. "Has Steve sent you up here?" One of the girls asks
me.

"No, I have just come up to see what is on TV up here" I tell her.

"Are you drunk too or is that just me?" She goes on to ask me. It is
Saturday night and these girls have been on the bottle. I lie to
them.

"I'm about the same as you." I tell her, even though I am totally
sober. I do not want to put any distance between us, she is a very
pretty girl.

"Get lost Adi!" We are rudely interrupted. This bloke arrives. He

obviously has a real problem with me being there. How obnoxious
I think to myself, but he obviously has issues around this lass and
so reluctantly I decide to go down stairs without any
confrontation. I will keep my cool. I need to live in this household
you see and this bloke is obviously screwed up. He is totally
focused on this lass who I have been talking to. So now I have a
flavour of the shakey dynamics of this household and I think that it
will be very interesting living here. Watch this space I think to
myself.

20-2-19

(411) Just A Phase.

I have taken some heroin. I make a note of how that feels. How
everything organises. How everything comes together in a way
that is indesribable. I see things differently now and I make a note
of how differently I see things. It is all just a phase. A small time
with a band width that I cannot measure. Yes I have taken heroin
and now I know how that feels, although I am rapidly forgetting.

(412) On The Runaround.

I go around a house to see a girl. She may be Elisa or she may be
Sacha. I do not know, but she is a blend of femaninity of whom I
fancy. I try to make my mind up who she is as she stands at the
sink and washes the pots. She may be Elisa with a bit of Sasha
blended in. She has tattoos now that she never had before
whoever she is and she is living alone. Where is her husband?
Have they split up? Maybe he is working.

I am in this workshop now and I am with this woman. It starts off

alright us two being together in this workshop, but then she starts
to rush me. She becomes demanding and I find myself on my own
running around this workshop trying to find things quickly so that I
can rush back out to catch up with this woman who has gone off
somewhere and who seems to have me on the runaround. I go
into a daydream and there is a brown mug that I focus on, but
then suddenly I become aware of some ghosts in this workshop,
but I am pissed off so I sarcastically make some "woooaaah" ghost
noises at them and in my thoughts and I tell them how insufficient
they are in their ethereal existancies compared to me in my
physical existance.

21- 2-19

(413) Media Attention

All this fame has made life difficult for us. All this media attention
that makes people act strangely. That makes people act so much
more different than they otherwise would do. I see Ian, he does
not hang around here anymore. He has had enough of the
limelight. He looks smart and he is keeping a low profile, keeping
himself to himself. I would do the same but I do not know how to
get out of this crazy situation that I am in. I do not think that it is
good for me, but this world surrounds me. Where else can I go?

(414) This Is Not Wimbledon.

I am playing tennis with this young lad. I am sat down hoping that
the ball will land near me so that I will be able to return it over the
net without having to get up. The net is so high and I am so bad
with this tennis racket. I look up to see a dark cloud across the sky,
but I decide to stand up and to play this game of tennis and I am
rubbish at it. Sometimes I swipe for the ball with my tennis racket
and I miss it completely. Even when I do hit the ball it goes where I
do not want it to go, which is often in the net. I have not got my
glasses on and things look blurry, but more than that this game of
tennis is embarrassingly bad.

22-2-19

(415) What Is To Become Of Us?

I am just aware of how crazy this world has become, as I follow a
care plan for this lady. We are in desperate times and good food is
scarce, but I share my scones and I give one to this lady in care. I
give of myself my time for those in need and I feel good for doing
that, but make no mistake these are desperate times, as we all
make our way precariously.

(416) In Need Of A Nicotine Fix.

I am outside with a cigarette for a smoke, but I do not have a light
and now I have clumsily snapped my cigarette. So I go inside and I
see the team leader. I thought that she was outside with me
behind the fence. "Can I borrow one of your Rizla rollup papers to
mend my broken cigarette?" I ask her.

"Yes, I have upset Linda and made her cry." She tells me with a
twinge of guilt and showing a concerned look upon her face, but I
am not interested. I just want to go outside and have a smoke.

"Have you." I reply, deliberately showing a lack of concern. She

has a massive pack of rizla roll up papers. So I go to take a few
papers out and I make a right mess of the rizla packet. There are
roll up papers falling out all over. "Ooops! Sorry about this." I
apologise for messing up her roll up papers, but she is more
concerned about her job roll and the fact that she has upset a
member of staff and made her cry.

23-2-19

(417) Summing Her Up Algebraicaly.

I get her up and I get her ready. I am onto this personal care thing
in a special way. I get her up just like a song that is played in the
key of D minor. (There is only one flat and that is B flat.) I am
pleased with the way that I get her up and it all sums up into a
peachy red colour. For me the key of D minor is a peachy red
colour. (B flat is a very deep blue.) But this song of personal care is
in the peachy red key of D minor. (Not the very deep blue that is B
flat.) This song is a peachy red number that is a three digit
number. (Not the two digit number of a deep blue.) d,e,f. (Not
a,b.) There is no c in this algebra, because c is very yellow.

(418) Awkward!
I have met a lass and we are out for an evening walk. She is nice
but there is something not quite right about her. I like her
company but we get close to my parents' house and I have a
change of heart. There is something not quite right with this lass
and I do not want to be with her around my parents. I would be
embarrassed to be with her around my parents you see. We are so
close to where my parents live. I can see their house and the lights
are on. I can even see my dad through the window and I do not
know what to do. "Come on let's go up here." I tell the girl in
order to guide her away from my parents' house. She is happy to
be with me and she has a lovely smile as she looks at me
adoringly. I do not know how to get out of this situation. What am
I to do? I feel so bad. Suddenly I wake up. Thank god for that! It
was only a dream. I can forget all about my awful situation.

I find myself in a bar chatting to this lass, She is very nice and we
get on so well, but there is something a bit unfemanine about her.
Maybe it is her short cropped hair. Maybe it is the way that she
takes charge. The atmosphere in this bar is lively and packed full
of people. There is another lass who I spoke to earlier. She is
drinking behind a pillar at the bar. I glance over and I just notice
her show me a bottle of beer in her hand from behind the pillar.
"You're not going over there just because she has shown you a
bottle of beer are you?" Says this lass who I am with. She is very
sassy and I am stumped now. Well yes, I think to myself. I am
grateful to her for her kindness. It would be rude not to go over to
her. But these words do not make it out of my mouth and I find
myself awkwardly making my way through that crowded bar over
to the lady and the bottle of beer that she has bought for me.

24-2-19

(419) Highly irregular.

Hello this is Adi Cox. I am a performer. I play songs and stuff. Well
the performance all goes well there at that address and the
people seem to be pleased with the songs that I sing and so I
move onto the next address. I move on to my next booking.

At this next booking I arrive at the address all well and good and I
am surprised to be greeted by a famous performer. His name
escapes me now, but he is well known. He is very tall and he tells
jokes whilst he does his magic tricks. He reminds me of Basil
Faulty from the TV show Faulty Towers.

I am thirsty when I arrive at this address and so I ask this Basil

looking bloke for some water. I am guided to a fridge. There is a
fury vessel full of water in the fridge door and I pour some water
out of it, into my flask. I am surprised to see a goldfish or two plop
into my flask as I am pouring the water from this fury vessel. The
fur at the top of the vessel closes up when it has been poured and
so it does not look like a vessel for holding water. "Well I was
thirsty, but I am not so thirsty now." I explain to this famous Basil
Faulty lookalike performer, whose house I am in. Basil seems to be
concerned about his gold fish and so I have to repour some water
back at his request, so that he can get his gold fish back. I may get
upstaged here today at this address. This is fast becoming a very
unusual booking.

25-2-19

(420) Something Astronomical.

I am ina zoo and I am restraining a snake. The snake is not usually
this active, but today it just will not settle. I have hold of its head
and it is taking all my strength to hold back. Like some great arm
wrestle. I would not like those poisonous fangs in me. I seem to be
wrestling this snake forever, but eventually I manage to let go.

It is night time now and I am just musing around in the corridor

when I am aware of the manager. She is shouting across to me
and pointing up into the sky at night. "That is Saturn isn't it?" She
cries out and as I look up towards the sky I notice some very deep
infa red outlines in the black solar system sky.
"Yes." I reply "And that is jupiter right there!" I am so surprised
that I have this night vision. I have never noticed it before. They
are feint infa red lines outlining the solar system planets, which is
very curious because one of the planets is shaped like a threpenny
bit. It is outlined as a polygon and I try to read into this
astrologicaly.

Later the manager rushes past me and randomly states, "You get
on well with Ian Chadwell don't you? You are missing those
conversations that you have with him arn't you?"

"Yes." I reply thoughtfully, but that does not mean that I want to
work with him though, I think to myself, wondering what plans the
manager has for me now.

(421) A Universal Error!

I see a friend who I have not seen for a long time and he has been
through the mill a bit. He has lost thirteen stone. He used to be a
homeless tramp with a big bushy ginger beard, but now he is just
a shadow of that man that he used to be.

There is this street cleaner who drives a little vehicle with brushes
on that cleans the drainage along the curb stones, along the
roadside. I am fascinated as I watch him. He misuses his brushes
on his vehicle as he brushes up someone gently whilst they are sat
down on the ground. Suddenly it all gets sexual and this woman
ends up galloping around blissfully on the back of this magicl
unicorn. We all protest. "This is not my parallel universe!" I cry out
indignantly, and we all go scrambling to the listings page in the TV
times magazine to find out what parallel universe we should be
on!
26-2-19

(422) Little Boy Lost.

I feel sorry for the little boy. He has lost all his confidence. He was
to be the heir apparent, but now that little flag of patriotism
seems smaller than ever. I feel sorry for the little boy. He is lost
and confused, as we march around in a square. I take his place. I
kick the heels of that little boy. He loses his stride. Ruthlessly and
instinctively I take him out. This is not the way that it should be,
but his privilage has suddenly been lost and so now that little boy
of privilage finds himself so very lost and without. Lost in
confusion, he has lost all of his confidence and I cannot ever see
him getting that back.

(423) Beds And Relationships.

I find myself in a place where I do not usually go. I have been away
and I have come back to a social circle of family and people who I
do not know. I get to meet my gregarious friend, who knows so
many people. Who I get to talk to about so much. I have been
away from family for so long now that I have become a stranger to
them you see. I left my woman, my long term relationship and
moved away and now I am a stranger around my own people.

My gregarious friend tells me, "I've been talking to your family and
they say, "It's got to hurt knowing that your ex is with someone
else in the bed that you used to sleep in.""

"Not really." I explain, "Splitting up was very easy for us. There was
no drama when we split up. The relationship had already fizzled
out. Although we always got on well with each other, it was so
much easier being single. We were both ready to move on. We
were both ready to go our seperate ways."

I go on to say, "When my ex and I first met, my parents were on

Holiday in Malta. My ex and I, we stayed at my parents' house and
we first had sex together in my parents' bed."

My conversation with my friend carries on and we joke around. He

starts talking to my family friends who are sat close by and who I
do not know. For some reason it seems appropriate to me, just as
a joke to make monkey noises at my friend who is laughing at me
whilst he is talking to these family friends of mine who are sat
with their backs to me. Then he goes off on his merry way. He
talks to anyone.

27-2-19

(424) Wooden Cars.

Steven Fry demonstrates to me how rotten the wood is on this
wooden car wheel. "Since when have we had wooden wheels for
cars?" I ask him. He just pushes the end of the wheel brace right
through that wooden wheel that is laid outside on the wet grass
lawn. "Never mind a flat tyre, this is a flat wheel!" I exclaim in
respose to seeing how rotten the wood is.

"That is the problem these days, wood gets rotten." He tells me

with authority.

"So did wood never get rotten back in the day then?" I retort
sarcastically. He is such an arse!
(425) Entombed.
It is really late and there has been a lot of activity. There are police
all over. They are helping to shut down the activity here. There is a
police car that has had a prang. I watch as the damaged radiator
grille is removed. A policeman gets snotty with me. I feel like I
want to rip his glasses off his face, but I do not.

Later I find myself crawling through an urban concrete underpass

late at night. I hear someone in distress in the shadows of that
concrete underpass, but I am so big and this underpass is
claustraphobic to me. I need to crawl because I can only just fit
through the concrete pillars and I can only just fit underneath the
concrete ceiling of this underpass that those pillars hold up. I fear
that I may become stuck under here, trapped forever within the
confines of my environment.