ENGL 100: Writing and Rhetoric

NCR: 3028

The comprehension of a passive action

Juan Aguas

Ana Hurtado
12-06-2018

1
 Table of contents

Cover Page 1

Table Of contents 2

Letter 3

Original Personal Essay

Revised Personal Essay

Original Summary

Revised Summary

Original Visual Rhetorical Analysis

Revised Visual Rhetorical Analysis

First Think Piece

Second Think Piece

Third Think Piece

Fourth Think Piece

Fifth Think Piece

My textual Rhetorical Analysis Presentation

2
Letter

3
 Original Personal Essay

I want you to think of your favorite season and picture it. For some it might be the cold breeze and freezing
nights of a long winter. One might say that spring is their favorite, watching how flowers bloom to life
marking a new beginning. For others, it’s the contrast of spring and love autumn, watching how the
environment changes and familiar colors turn a dark brown marking the end of a life cycle. For me it’s none
of these, it’s the one kids all over the world crave all year long -apart from Christmas- its summer. Well to
be fair here in Ecuador we only have summer and “winter”, but July and June feel completely different,
trust me. The mornings of summer feel dissimilar, the air is lighter, the sun is brighter, the breeze is cold
and refreshing and I swear to god that more stars appear on the sky at night.

Waking up on summer as a young teen is one of the things in life that I remember so clear as my breakfast
this morning. The feeling you get waking up after a back breaking, year long, arduous, fun at sometimes
but mostly boring high school year, is one of gods among men. There is nothing more in your mind that
cereal and morning cartoons followed by hitting the streets with your bad ass bike with your panas.

But it wasn’t always like this, I used to dread the thought of vacations and summer, on past ones I wasted
time inside my home making excuses to hide inside my own confront bubble, while kids played and were
having fun outside, I stayed home from dusk till dawn like a little mole rat. For me, being a kid full of
insecurities made it tough to make new friends, express myself or share my thoughts to other folks that live
around the block. I remember how my older brother used to bring friends for sleepovers and was greeted
and chatted with pretty much everyone at school while I wished to be so easy to get along with like him.

While change is slow, it always has been, moving to a new high school help me jump the fence of my own
problems and greeted me with experiences that molded me to who I am now in life. It’s funny how the
conception of summer changed for me on those days, how can a couple of guys drastically change my
routine into a chaotic mess of silly fun is unbelievable. From hours long gaming sessions trying not to cheat
on a split screen match or downhill biking, getting robbed, our first beers and even just walking around the
block made summer my favorite season, period.

Maybe it’s not summer what I like, maybe what I like it’s the people I got to hang with on summer, but
truth is that I was wasting my life not appreciating it and I owe my friends that made me look at the details
like a photographer’s eye. Now those thoughts bring anguish on my mind, why are they so far apart from
the present, have I fallen into a conformist pit again?

4
The way you experience life as a young teen is exponentially better than an adult, your brain is living things
for the first time it experiences emotions and situations that amazes our neurons and start new connections,
which sadly it’s what makes you feel like time passes faster as you grow older. Less new experiences and
the brain starts to save up information devaluating the value of life feeling like it’s there for granted. That’s
why you need to live more, ask yourself what’s living, cherries your memories don’t let them fade away,
make new ones and remember what was and still is important and more significantly make summer last all
year long.

5
 Original Summary “Our vanishing night”

Verly Kinkenborg in her article “Our vanishing night” published by the nation geographic magazine in
November 2008 acknowledges how human activity has transformed the earth to fit its need for luxury, it
describes how nights are no longer dominated by darkness and have been conquered by artificial flames
disrupting a frail equilibrium that nature dangles on.

As humans have evolved the concept of pollution has evolve with it, on past decades dark nights were
fought using candles and its luminance was relatively null compared to the bigger spectrum we see today.
But now not only the lights have conquered the night, it has been evidently that lights have also spilled into
our skies and has interfered with land, sea and air species creating a new reality. Birds no longer migrate at
the same time so nesting conditions are the incorrect ones, insects swarm lamp lights, bats abandon their
homes, turtles can’t find a nesting place and humans have broken the cycle that is night and day affecting
our own biological behavior creating for some, what Junot called an apocalypse of the second and first
kind.

Artificial light vanishes the darkness that has surrounded humanity for ages but in a clever contrast made
by the author it also clouds our judgment, it cuts off a grand part of human history as it ignores how the
night sky was a mirror for cultural and social heritage, forgetting this is marking an era of massive ego
against our true nature in the universe.

6
 Original Visual Rhetorical analysis

Thesis Statement:

Conservation international on their short film “Flowers” published on YouTube on December first, 2014
with the help of Lupita Nyong’o convey the importance of flowers forgotten by humans by an out of
proportion exploitation of natural resources, targeted at young adults who have notions of climate
interactions and are surrounded by an influence of pop culture and social media.

Summary:

As the short film begins, we can see the name of the organization materializing in front of a black screen.
The video follows by showing a picture of a red flower as the narrator (Lupita Nyong'o) announces, “I am
a flower”, introducing the main point of the video. Countless scenes of various vibrant and beautiful flowers
pop on screen as they bloom opening their petals showing us their inner pistils and stamens. Continuing, it
becomes apparent that the music that plays on the background through the entirety of the video is a calming,
instrumental guitar riff with a noticeable reverb and delay effects on it. The video keeps on showing a
variety of landscapes covered by flowers, each scene marked by different species of it while the narrator
says: “You see I feed people, every fruit comes from me. Every potato, me. Every kernel of corn, me. Every
grain of rice, me. Me, me, me. And sometimes I feed their souls”. As the video comes to an end the same
variety of images appear on screen while the announcer with a less friendly tone closes the video with the
words: “People underestimate the power of a little flower. Because their life does start with me, and it could
end without me.” Finally, the words “Nature doesn’t need people, people need nature” closes the short film
and the organization’s name and web page link appears on top of a black screen.

7
Graphic 1.- Picture of a blooming flower attached with the quote “Life starts with me”

Rhetorical Situation:

Looking at the rhetorical situation, it becomes clear that the short film conveys a message of awareness
changing sight in humanity highlighting a constant ambiance of comfort and taking things for granted, in
this case the power of flowers. Looking at the target audience it becomes clear that the video is for young,
English speaking adults, with some knowledge of movies, with access to social media surrounded by media
consumption via YouTube. As for the communicator, the video starts with the name of the organization
responsible for the video which is named “Conservation International” which is a nonprofit environmental
organization born in the united states. But the one that conveys the message in the video to the audience is
an actress named Lupita Nyong’ O, giving a voice to the voiceless flowers through the whole video. Finally,
the context of the video shows us that it was published on 2014 a year after Lupita Nyong’ o breakthrough
film “12 years a slave” and the same year as Lupita Nyong second film “Non-stop” with Liam Nesson,
showing us a big hype that surrounded her on 2014.

Ethos:

Conservation international as I have briefly said it’s a non-profitable organization with its headquarters on
Arlington Virginia. They don’t give clear signs of credibility and authority in the video, but they show their
achievements and projects on their web site, sadly the only link on the video opens an email subscription
program instead of their main page. Conservation International tries to create a society that understands and
values nature, using a responsible and sustainable care for all the global diversity in it for a long-term benefit
of humans and all life on earth. Their goal is as follows: “We measure success in human terms. Our goal is
to protect the most fundamental things that nature provides to all of us: our food, our fresh water, our
livelihoods and a stable climate.” (Conservation international)

Lupita Nyong’o is the voice of the flowers in the video, it becomes clear why conservation international
picked her. Aside from her breakthrough in acting, she’s a Mexican born, Kenyan raised American grad
student, giving her a huge amount of cultural perspectives appealing to a broader audience. Lupita Nyong’o
involvement in charities is extensive (animal, civil rights, conservation, creative arts, environment, LGBT
support) and she becomes a beacon of conscious thinking.

Pathos:

The short film appeals to our emotions through beautiful images of flowers marking a strong environmental
need for food, but there’s a much stronger meaning showed as a cultural statement making humanity
remember that flowers have surrounded our culture since the beginning of time with artist looking at their

8
beauty to now days as a symbol of love and fertility. The style of music as well as the narrators voice tone
through the video are not perceived as a threat nor a wakeup call, both are calm, relaxing the viewer looking
to convey its point through a rational calm audience.

Logos:

As there is no data, charts or tangible information, the ad relies on a literate audience with notions of climate
and how the environment works to amplify the audience understanding of different elements on earth and
their use while creating a sustainable earth avoiding a grim future for humans as “Nature doesn’t need
people, people need nature”.

Graphic 2.- Picture of a flower with the quote “nature doesn’t need people”

Ethics:

As a first glance an environmental advertisement campaign sounds like a great idea but a second opinion
tends to merge lurking through the sponsor type, the real focus of the ad and the depth of information given,
as the article “Shades of Green: A Multidimensional Analysis of Environmental Advertising” talks about.
Green ads could turn non-ethical with nonsensical and exaggerated facts creating fake news focusing only
on how to make a profit using a clickbait method without a real change or action against the environmental
problems showed in the ad. As for this ad, Conservation international states its real intentions showing
information through their web page marking a real green ad that gives little but important facts reaching a
broader audience about different elements on earth and the real hierarchy on the planet.

9
 Composition and rhetoric think piece #1

When reading lunar musings, you can immediately tell the nature of the essay. The authors words are
characterized by a mix of emotions and descriptions without forgetting a dash of history and scientific facts.
It completely engulfs you and drags your mind on a picturesque journey encapsulating her early life, her
teen years, her family and more importantly her sister.

Looking through the paragraphs you can tell that this is a personal essay, watching how words are carefully
picked painting the authors personality in your mind, creating a face that inevitably will be wrong to reality
but defines your reactions while reading it -if it soothes you maybe you’ll picture your mother, if it saddens
you maybe you’ll picture a past lover that you devoted to-. As we have seen on class, personal essays differ
from each other on the magnitude of miles. You can clearly differentiate and author just by looking at his
words of choice, which is what happens in lunar musings, in other words it’s a representation of the authors
identity on paper.

When looking at the essay structure, a pattern begins to form. Sentences on previous paragraphs make their
way on to the next ones. It begins a “heads up” of what’s to come, keeping the reader interested. Information
and history of the moon becomes metaphors that describe actions and decorate scenes. Structure like this
creates an interesting essay which magnifies the likeness of herself and her sister to the moon and creating
a bond between emotions and a celestial body, as well as making an essay even stronger and more concise.
The perfect example of this mix matching of descriptions and information for me is “And though we may
not need it- the moon-, as I am no longer needed- as the moon, because her sister is all grown up-, we still
want it all for ourselves-her sister and the presence of the moon on culture- “(Lunar musings, Claire
Kortyna).

You can clearly see that this piece needed research for it to work like it does. For the author to write scenes
of her early life and to find the correct piece of information to give the readers to relate is an impressive
feat of creating and meditated writing.

Finally, I want to talk to you about a person that is important to me while trying to use metaphors. Brick by
brick a construction takes places, on my sight a tall building scratches the sky but it’s not complete.
Something appears missing from it, somehow, we know that there is no penthouse on top. The first floor is
decorated, a shiny lobby full of memories, this is all we had and what we did. Climbing up floors you can
see less and less decorations but there are still floors to climb. While getting closer to the top we can see
the end there is no way to put it there is no happy ending, but I still know that this was for the best.
Sometimes it’s better to stop constructing before all collapses.

10
 Composition and rhetoric think piece #2

As you read apocalypse by Junot Diaz it comes to mind some past text that we have read in class. First,
lunar mussing with its abundance of information across the essay giving a clear conceptual information
about key words and welcome to the Anthropocene with arguments surrounding extinctions and the end of
an era as the first concept of an apocalypse.

While reading this essay it pops out how its structured, conjunctions of paragraphs are organized in
chronological order in which they all emphasized a different topic of discussion. You can see that this
structure breaks the norm on all previously read texts. This method is a refreshing new take on an essay, it
keeps you mind sharp as information is compressed in such a manner that a cluster of it can easily be
digested while not boring the readers as well as helping them distinguish when an idea starts and ends.

You can appreciate how the author presents information to guide the reader, this piece revolves around the
“apocalypse” while not so easily define Junot works around 3 meanings or stages of an apocalypse
describing each one as follows: an actual end, what appears to be the end and a revelation or explanation
of the end. These ideas are clearly stated, although some readers might find it hard to related to as most of
us turn a blind eye on remote “apocalypses” or never been in one but Junot compensates this by giving truly
vivid descriptions of Haiti’s agony.

While talking about natural and social disaster I must acknowledge that before reading this piece I was
ignorant to the concept of the latter. This piece was a personal revelation to me, to understand that Haiti’s
situation was not mere coincidence and its current situation comes from years and years of neglect and
abuse from social entities. This created the notion that there is in fact no natural disasters only social
disasters.

Looking at Junot arguments we can see that many of them revolve around Haiti and what the earthquake
reveled. First, it all comes down to how is this a social disaster and not a natural one, you can clearly see
that in each paragraph Junot gives us facts from corruption, injustices, poverty, non-existing healthcare,
global inequity and colonial struggles to strengthen this idea. In other words, Junot is shouting at us that
Haiti has shaped into a future revelation of what’s to come if we continue to avoid responsibility for the
social practices that bring on our tragedies experienced by millions on the planet.

Finally, I’d like to tell you about Yasuni ITT a recent social disaster in Ecuador. Yasuni ITT is a large area
of the Amazonian rainforest characterized by its immense diversity per square inch. Scientist have
recognized this area as a time capsule from the ice age due to all species that migrated to a warmer climate
concentrating there. While its rich on biodiversity, flora and fauna it’s also rich on oil, so a campaign started

11
to keep it underground and be compensated by other nations for the untapped oil and preserve the rainforest.
This was a massive success from all Ecuadorian population to the UN, an estimated 26 million dollars were
agreed to be paid to Ecuador. Germany was onboard to pay half of the money straight up! The only
condition was to use the money on education, health and environmental projects. Ecuador didn’t agree and
now an arrogant government is barraging through the rainforest extracting oil.

12
 Composition and rhetoric think piece #3

As this podcast begins it tells a tale of evolution tied with constant misdirection of the masses. To think
how a lie marked the guidelines of marketing and strategies is completely astonishing, to think that we need
lies to get our product out the door is something that needs changing. The catalyst of this process began at
the early 1800’s where The New York sun was born, scorching the integrity of information for years to
come, as it began a long string of eye-catching tittles with bullshit all over it where the only real objective
is selling to the masses as it consumes human attention recognizing that the utilization of this new business
model is what breaks or makes a new product.

What now I see is a wave of demand engineering where a need is created, there is no need for it, but it
constructs reality and “facts” that manipulee existing norms and even create new ones all in favor of what
product needs to be sold. This is a pure reflection of how halitosis created fear as a new-found disease or
how healthy smoking can be, reducing a couple of pounds.

Now demand engineering creates a new wave of merchants that lurk and hunt 24/7 for that crave of an
innocent’s attention. It baffles me how attention merchants have searched for every single socio-economic
group to use it as a venue to sell products as the now famous “super bowl ads”. NPR defines them as
“Television shows, newspaper articles and podcasts that draw you in and then sell your attention to
advertisers.” To think how attention merchants bombarded our homes trying to sell products through radio
and tv, became a problem creating new solutions in this case the tv remote which is a short live solution
waiting for a new problem to be born repeating a vicious cycle that will continue till we change the norms
from an irresponsible supplier to a cradle to cradle business model.

But not all attention merchants seek it for monetary reasons, the first instance of ethical motivation to grab
human’s attention and redirect it to a problem that needs solution was the first viral movement that spread
like wild fire focusing on how child labor manufactures Nike’s shoes.

When Trump comes to mind, the battle for political presence marked him as president of the united states
but more so as president of attention merchants. To understand how even though people try to avoid him
he is still at the podium with a spotlight highlighting him as he seeks and succeeds to be seen.

Lastly, all this new bombardment of attention seekers marks a change in our perception of freedom, I have
now seen how attention merchants live on the internet. If I’m not critical of what I’m doing I get caught in
a web of ads and click bait where time passes by and I’m not conscious of it. While watching YouTube the
same game ad repeated constantly, while this was annoying, I got to say… it got to me and I have already
downloaded that game on my phone and now a game of thrones game ad is constantly on my screen showing

13
that there’s no end to this cycle. I think that the new solution like the invention of the tv remote is the so-
called premium account, which as history was shown it will be only a temporary solution till the attention
merchants find a new way around it.

14
 Composition and rhetoric think piece #4

“My family’s slave” published on the June 2017 issue by The Atlantic, written by Alex Tizon Reveals the
story of Lola, a Philippine girl sold as a slave and her story through the eyes of Alex highlighting a complex
history of abuse and grief between a vicious cycle of violence through generations. With the use of strong
rhetorical appeals, Tizon awakes his audiences through his problematic youth and spotlights the innocent
human nature of a tortured Lola.

As this essay reveals, the use of rhetorical strategies is critical for the understanding and immersion of its
readers, while creating an ambiance of not only empathy but comprehension of the pain and unconditional
love given by both Alex and Lola through the years. This text is surrounded by pathos, I could even say it’s
a fully emotional immersive piece in which I find interesting how the author words reflect him as a calm,
logical person in which I never saw a hint of hate in all this essay, more so how clashing ideologies brought
a constant conflict inside his own home tearing it apart slowly.

Looking through this piece huge amounts of evidence of rhetorical strategies starts to show up as glimpses
of different emotions capsules the readers in Lola’s mind as different chapters of her life emerge trough the
essay, from 12 lashes which marked the beginning of a life of pain, to a mother criticizing her own children
for being more human to Lola that her or the cries of agony as Lola lost both her parents unable to say
goodbye while tied to an invisible chain locking her down on a foreign country powerless and voiceless.

It’s heartbreaking how Lola became so devoted, so powerless, so afraid, so accustomed to abuse but yet…
so loving, so protective, so understanding and so interested in someone who doesn’t even gave her a bed to
sleep in at nights or turned a blind eye to all her cries of help.

Lastly, I think that a strong complement of how the author appeals to its readers is with the use of images
through the text. Without them the human mind wonders and relate to a fake image of a predisposed
subconscious connotation Lola marked by culture and personal experiences. With images our minds can
see the eyes of a real woman that has suffered through her whole life, catalyzing its emotions through our
conscious. Marking a place of birth, a place called home, a fake facade of a happy family living undercover
in an American suburb to a truly heartwarming homecoming, a get together with long lost family and friends
to a childhood home and a final resting place.

As a personal connection to the text I can’t say that I have had a slave trough my life, but I can relate to the
feeling of unconditional love given to another human being. It’s not easy to give yourself to another human
as Lola did, she’s a truly exceptionary example of true love. As I related this to my mother as I may not be

15
so comprehensive to her or forget her as Alex’s mother did. I feel how no matter what I do she’s always
there for me even though I might not be as expressive as I should be.

16
 Composition and rhetoric think piece #5

“On Writing Badly” published February 28, 2008 uploaded on the Kenyon Review Blog, written by Sergei
Lobanov-Rostosky reveals the true difference that lays between a product and a process highlighting how
society ignores the latter creating an identity where failing is consider nonsensical. With the use of
comparisons, Lobanov-Rostosky awakes his audiences through his new found problematic and spotlights
a new wave born from the overwhelming temptations encapsulating artist into a dream of achieving
greatness.

While reading “On writing badly”, a revelation between process and product becomes clear as soon as it
dawns the understanding that one is never revealed to the public. The product gets to live on the spotlight
presented to the mases as for the process, it lies cloaked behind the curtains portrayed by the mind of the
writer where it transforms, reborn or dies. This idea is backed with how the process becomes a flow of ideas
and feelings where a constant reminder of possession comes to mind, or as Lobanov-Rostosky says: “Sure,
it feels good to make something, but that doesn’t mean that what you’ve made is good” (Sergei Lobanov-
Rostosky).

This possession disrupts the critical eye of the writer, calling for a change, where now the only thing ahead
is the product, separating all ties with the process and its nurture. Now the mind must look at its own child
and criticize it, look for flaws as now its alone heading to the public, as maturity turns teens into adults, a
process turns into a product.

The art of writing nowadays starts to resemble an alien activity, a physical one (cycling). But these
comparisons are not only tied due to an excruciating pain or effort applied on these activities, but the
expectancy that the public yells while judging their product from the different types of media these are
portrayed on. Not only they want perfection despising failure at all cost, they want inhuman improvement
without the use of drugs calling for a new wave of purity on sports and arts alike. This expectancy sadly
not only affects professionals, as this corruption starts to sweep under the roofs of families (excluding purity
focusing only on improvement) demanding children to take drugs, enhancing their academic progress.

Finally, looking into my own writing I think that my writing has improved, turning from a disorganized
introduction of my think pieces to a concrete introduction of them, as now I know how to properly guide a
reader through my texts. My writing now is guided by norms and passive writing is a no go, as it has shown
to be a boring way to travel across a text. Not only ideas have been more concrete on my mind, but now I
have the correct tools to analyses an essay and how it works, why is an important piece or not. These tools
have permitted me to understand how I can appeal to my audience, how pathos, ethos and logos work
together and how these affect the reactions of a reader.

17
18