Running head: REFLECTION OF OBSERVES 1

Reflection on Observed Experiences

Taylor Rackey

CLNC 1010

Instructor: Kaylee Ridd, BS

December 28th, 2018

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Reflection on Observed Experiences

My desire to know everything that encompassed birth started when I was 18 years old

and expecting my son, Rhylin. I had taken the time during my pregnancy to read through many

of the latest books out regarding conception, birth, and postpartum, but I had yet to experience

birth as a observant individual in the room. Throughout the last seven years, I have continued to

self-learn, engulfing myself in discussions, social media groups, reading journal articles,

watching videos, and hearing birth stories from individuals. However, it wasn’t until March of

2018 that I witnessed my first birth, as an observing student midwife. Over the last nine months,

I have since observed and assisted in 27 births, occurring mostly at a free-standing birthing

center, with a handful as well at our transferring hospital and higher level unit in the area with a

NICU. My thoughts around midwifery care, and childbirth, have changed incredibly with each of

these experiences.

As a previous client of a certified-nurse midwife during my pregnancy, I experienced

care differently than that of what I have experienced during my observing time at a free-standing

birthing center. Even with a CNM, I felt somewhat rushed and forced to participate as a patient

in the hospital, something that I have yet to see from any client that we have provided care to.

The mutual trust between client and midwife is shown in each appointment we attend, as time is

taken to review complaints or concerns from our last visit together, engaging in personal

conversation that encompasses their family and life at home, and treating each person as an

individual and not a patient with a number. I have seen only the tip of an iceberg that goes into

ordering labs, charting each fine detail, managing client accounts, dealing with billing issues, and

the fight against maintaining legal ability to practice amongst our community providers.
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Before I began my apprenticeship, I had envisioned myself operating a solo home birth

practice somewhere in the United States that favored midwifery and had a high out-of-hospital

birth rate. However, my experience at a free-standing birth center has changed the way that I

hope to practice once I become certified and state licensed; for this I am thankful, as I am unsure

if I would have learned this about myself otherwise without this opportunity. I have found great

joy and a sense of balance amongst my colleagues as we share an on-call schedule, with

flexibility that allows us rotational time off. Working as a team has showed me how much I

enjoy being able to balance my work and family life, without having to sacrifice time with one,

for time with another. Not only has this experience shown me how midwifery and being on-call

can be incorporated into our home, it has also allowed me the opportunity to work amongst

others in the birth space, finding trust and comfortability in a team that arrives for a delivery

together, supporting one another in delegated roles.

While the vast majority of my apprenticeship has been an absolute joy, learning amongst

skilled and seasoned midwives, there has been a few hardships amongst students in the practice.

At times, this has felt as if some students were being given multiple chances to correct behavior

that continued, while the others were left to pick up the slack that remained. At one point, this

caused tension between colleagues and required each of us needed to take the time to express

how we were feeling, and apologize for any mistakes we made. Together, we moved through

stagnant water and we have been able to work as a collaborative team, during both clinical time

and deliveries. It has helped tremendously being enrolled in COMM 1010 this term, as we

moved through ​Crucial Conversations,​ by Patterson, Grenny, Switzler, and McMillan, in which
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authors demonstrated techniques to move through emotional conversations that are held in a

positive space with effective dialogue between parties that have differing outlooks.

As I move through the end of phase one, I am eager to see what the future holds during

my time at a free-standing birth center. I have found myself feeling comfortable with basic skills

that I have obtained over the last year, and trusting myself to practice those that I am unfamiliar

with without being asked to. I have been given more opportunities to lead appointments and be

involved with decision making, and given the ability to listen to senior midwives discuss client

care, while contributing with thoughts and ideas that may surface during conversation. While I

had not planned to surround myself with a birth center environment, I can’t envision myself

being anywhere else during my clinical placement, or as a practicing midwife in my future.

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References

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., Switzler, A., & McMillan, R. (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for

Talking When Stakes Are High. New York City, New York: McGraw Hill.