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never want to be out-of-date. As a result, being a fan
Commented [MOU4]: The most famous
of a singer become a popular trend among the young Commented [MOU5]: Không có the học the a ở đây nè
https://www.ieltstutor.me/blog/luu-y-writing-task-one
people. Additionally, it is said that historical people Commented [MOU6]: ở phía trên em đã nói 2 factors á thì
cái đầu tiên nguười ta đọc vào thấy liền thì cái factor thứ 2
do not gain much interest due to the boring lessons em ghi rõ ra là
Để kiểu nó hiểu liền là à con này nó đang nói tới cái factor
students must perceive makes history become an thứ 2
Commented [MOU7]: Cái này có xác định gì đâu mà có the
obsess for them rather than fascinating stories. Commented [MOU8]: Từ nối đâu
Commented [MOU9]: Người ta dùng là information
overload
Urgent actions are called for to put a halt to this Commented [MOU10]: Chỗ này viết lủng củng nè với lại
phải nói cái hệ quả ra em vì là học chán với bắt học vẹt learn
trend. First of all, each individual should have sth by rote nên k gây hứng thú nên là students nó k thấy
mấy nhân vật kia quan trọng
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have more interest in historical people rather than
movie stars
Commented [MOU16]: ???? popularity
In conclusion, due the population of the stars and the
boring lessons at schools, children gradually become
Commented [MOU17]: Paraphrase đi
more interested in movie stars and singers.
Therefore, preventive measures which have been
mentioned above should be applied to reverse this
Commented [MOU18]: Tập viết conclusion 1 câu thôi
alarming tendency.
BÀI VIẾT LẦN 2
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Commented [MOU19]: Nowadays
movie stars. In fact, in this modern life, social media
such as Facebook, twitter or online magazines has a
Commented [MOU20]: Dùng hoài đổi qua younger
great influence on users, especially the youth who generation đi
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Commented [MOU29]: When they are distratced from
studying . Secondly, it is necessary to make the their studies
Commented [MOU30]: For school and historical teachers
history more attractive by reducing less important
Commented [MOU31]: Actually,
details of the lessons. Alternatively stated, students
Commented [MOU32]: Là như nào
tend to be impressed by substantialy remarkable
events, as a result, they become more curious about
Commented [MOU33]: Chỗ này phải giải thích rõ thêm ra
related people.
In conclusion, preventive measures for an alarming
issues about which children are more interested in
Commented [MOU34]: An alarming fact that students
famous people due to the effect of the social media prefer celebrities to historical figures
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widespread fame of celebrities such as singers or
movie stars. In fact, nowadays, social media such as
Facebook, twitter or online magazines has a great
Commented [MOU36]: Dùng hoài đổi qua younger
influence on users, especially teenagers who never generation đi
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may be detrimentally affected when they are
Commented [MOU42]: When they are distratced from
distracted from studies. Secondly, it is necessary for their studies
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5. lure (v) to persuade someone to do something or
go somewhere by offering them something
exciting - be lured into
6. curious (adj) interested in learning about people
or things around you
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