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Mirian Vanegas

Prof. Jennifer Rodrick

Eng 115

11/18/18

Toxic Relationships

Abuse. There are signs and there is proof that it exists in relationships or atleast in toxic

relationships that appear in real life and the book ​Play It As It Lays​. Mental, physical, and

emotional abuse are the forms of abuse that are mostly seen in throughout the book. These forms

of abuse have influenced the type of relationship between each other and those around them. In

Play It As It Lays t​ here are many examples of different types of abuse going on in these

relationships. Abuse has affected each and everyone’s relationship and although we see Maria’s

struggle with abuse there are other main and minor characters in the book that are going through

a similar situation. The abuse is in these relationships are brought to light because of Maria and

her own situation.

One of the relationships that is very toxic is the one between Helene and BZ. Although

we don’t really get much insight in their day to day lives we can see the overall picture of their

relationship. In Chapter 11, Carter having a conversation with Maria says, “ I wasn’t just crazy

about asking Helene how much money BZ’s mother gives them to to stay married”(Didion 48)

Which means that BZ and Helene’s relationship is toxic because he controls Helene in

numerous ways and he makes sure to remind her that the only reason they are together is because

they both get money from his mother. In Chapter 63 we see for the first time that BZ hits Helene

and that Maria witnessed and encouraged him to keep doing so. In page 164 we see the intensity
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of the interaction between Helene and BZ when he says, “ I can’t take this Helene. If you can’t

deal with the morning get out of the game. You’ve been around a long time, you know what it is,

it’s play-or-play”(Didion 164) Although they acknowledge their marriage is a fake they rather

stay in a relationship that only does good to their pockets and not their well being emotionally

and physically.

Another relationship that wasn’t really talked about in the book is the relationship

between Carter and Susannah Wood. Although their relationship was brief there were many

things that went down during their time together. In Chapter 71, we see how Susannah and

Carter’s relationship was just a sexual relationship and nothing more. Later in Chapter 72, Maria

find out that Susannah had been beaten up in a hotel room in Las Vegas. Maria confronts Carter

about it and carter says “ Susannah doesn’t take things quite as hard as you do. So just forget it.”

(Didion 193).Carter was just a bystander when Susannah was beaten up and Susannah not

speaking out about this might mean that either Susannah tried to ignore what happened just like

Helene did or she was too afraid to even say something about it since after all she did work with

Carter in the movie. The relationship between Carter and Susannah is toxic since there isn’t a

real connection or relationship there which might affect both sides of this relationship

negatively.

Maria’s relationship with Ivan Costello is another example of an abusive relationship.

Throughout the book we see how they aren’t able to even have a normal conversation without

screaming at eachother. What was inferred about their relationship was that they might’ve had a

relationship before Maria got married to Carter. It is obvious that their relationship ended badly

since they now need a mediator to make sure nothing goes wrong. In Chapter 57, Maria calls
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Ivan and during their conversation he says, “ You mean you want to talk to me direct, you don’t

want to make an appointment? Go through your agent?”(Didion 145) This means that Maria used

to count on him but after being in a relationship with him it all ended bad. This relationship is

abusive and toxic because it affected Maria emotionally and mentally. Even if Maria wanted to

stay away from him she somehow found herself having casual sex with him in multiple

occasions even when she was still married with Carter.

The relationship that seems to be the most abusive and toxic is the one between Carter

and Maria. In Chapter 13, Maria and Carter were having a conversation about Maria aborting

Les Goodwin’s baby. Carter in this conversation forces her to do so when he says, “ All right,

don’t do it. Go ahead and have this kid. And I’ll take Kate”(Didion 54) Obviously Carter’s

ultimatum led her to make the choice need for her to keep Kate. Carter throughout the book not

only verbally abuses Maria but controls her with having Kate being taken away from her for

good. There is a lot of mental and emotional abuse in this relationship and Maria knows it

because she sees how men like Carter are taking little pieces of her for them to keep. Carter in

numerous occasions has told to her to just die and calls her out for the things she does. Although

he tells her these things he always makes it clear that he still has feelings for her and somehow it

makes his abuse seem ok when it really isn’t. Maria knows it but decides to stick around because

it is the only way she can be close to Kate even though inside herself she knows that no matter

what she does Carter will always find a way to manipulate her. Maria’s relationship with Carter

comes to an end when he asks Maria for a divorce which takes a dark turn for both of them since

they end up engaging in other types of toxic relationships.

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This image reflects what is going on in the many relationships in this book explores. Not

only are these relationships affecting the characters it also affects their thoughts and choices. For

example BZ and Helene’s relationship was so toxic that when Carter and Helene started sleeping

together BZ lost his state of mind and ended up overdosing on pills because he was done

“playing the

game”. Many

toxic and abusive

relationships

don’t end up well

and trying to get

over these types

of relationships is

hard as we see in Maria’s case. She was so done with all the abuse from men that she wanted to

stay away from it but she found herself once again falling into abuse and toxic relationships.

There are many real life situations in which people are in toxic and abusive relationships but

ignore all the signs of being in a relationship such as this.

In the U.S. there have been many cases in which partners are or become abusive during a

relationship. According to Safe Horizon “1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe

physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.”, “Almost half (47.5%) of American

Indian/Alaska Native women, 45.1% of non-Hispanic Black women, 37.3% of non-Hispanic

White women, 34.4% of Hispanic women, and 18.3% of Asian-Pacific Islander women

experience contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in
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their lifetime.”. This is an alarming situation because there are some many people who go

through this everyday but decide to keep quiet because they are afraid of what their partner might

do to them. This might not be the case for many of the relationships going on in this book but it

is a serious epidemic. I haven’t witnessed any abuse but, I’ve heard testimonies from people who

went through these kinds of relationships and it was a difficult process for them to go through.

These people fought really hard to find happiness even though many might’ve ended up dead

like BZ but, overcoming toxic and abusive relationships is hard especially when your partner is

controlling and uses your weaknesses against you. As we can see in the relationship between

Carter and Maria, Carter used Kate as bait so that Maria would do as she was told. There are so

many signs of a toxic and abusive relationship but it takes people a long to notice it and it ends

up affecting their well being.

Play It As It Lays a​ ddresses abuse and toxic relationships and the different kinds of abuse

that exist. Mental, physical, and emotional abuse is real and there are thousands of people who

suffer from these forms of abuse. This book really went into depth about what an abusive and

toxic relationship can do to someone and their mental state. Maria is a clear example since she

suffered from abuse along with other main and minor characters in the book. Although these

characters try to get out of these abusive relationships they find themselves getting involved with

other equally or even worst abusive partners. Maria’s own struggle with past and present abusive

relationships brought to light other relationships in the book that were also toxic and abusive.

Play It As It Lays​ did a good job on portraying real life situations that affect thousands of people

around the world and it gives a warning of what might happen to someone if they let the abuse

go that far.
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Work Cited

DIDION, J. (2017). ​PLAY IT AS IT LAYS​. New York. Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2005

Typeset-beta.imgix.net. (2018). [online] Available at:

https://typeset-beta.imgix.net/elite-daily/2015/03/06044254/elitedaily-Briana-Morrison-to

xic-relationship.jpg?w=748&h=448&fit=crop&crop=faces&auto=for

mat&q=70 [Accessed 21 Nov. 2018].

“Domestic Violence”​, Safe Horizon

https://www.safehorizon.org/get-informed/domestic-violence-statistics-facts/#statistics-a

nd-facts/​ [Accessed 21 Nov. 2018].