Lemus !

Jose Lemus

Professor Granillo

English 101

19 November 2018

Why Men Are Being Beaten by Stereotypes

Rules to be a man, don't cry and never show emotions. Sadly these rules are what some

men, old and young men actually try to follow and even believe. Another name for these rules

are stereotypes. These stereotypes are very controversial topics because it can be seen almost

every where in today's society and even in history. For generations it has been a popular belief

that men need to show no emotion and not cry. These views have become so commonly used to

describe men, that they are becoming views that society holds towards men, and some people do

not want this to change; even though this might be a common view of men it does not make it

acceptable. Many men are being pressured by society to live with the stereotypes or their

reputation as a man can be question. People such as Reiner, oppose this idea and believe this

stereotypes regarding how men should act, is having a negative impact on men in today's society;

Reiner position is correct and actions should be taken to stop these stereotypes. Men feel that

they should not show emotions and should not rely on others, as a result men are feeling

uncomfortable showing emotion and this leads men to do drastic things such as suicide; thus

society needs to change their view.

People who justify the old views of men, have certain beliefs and views about men, they

believe men should act and behave in a certain way that make men seem mentally and

emotionally strong; these can also be seen as stereotypes towards men and there are many
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stereotypes. In the article "Men don't Cry" it goes over what traits society believes men should

have, "We expect stoicism from our males, no display of emotions, men are discouraged to cry."

This is what society believes men should do and live by, they believe that any man that doesn't

live by these standards is not really a man. Men are wanted to be seen as strong individuals, that

do not need to depend on others when they have a problem. A man should be able to face any

problem head on alone and become undamaged by the situation, so society believes.When it

comes to emotions some people believe it is not appropriate for men to openly express there

emotions, this is just something that men should not do. When a man shows emotions it ruins the

image of that man for certain people, they can be seen as weak for not holding in their emotions

or fighting them. Society does not want a man who shows their emotions, they are seen as

feminine. One of the biggest things society does not want to see is a man cry, many people feel

uncomfortable when they see a man cry. Men are suppose to be seen as tough guy, crying has the

opposite effect they are sometimes seen ask weak. A man crying is one of the biggest things that

a man can do to be seen as vulnerable, and society does not want men to be vulnerable.

Men are being ruled by the idea that men should hide emotions. In the "The Society

Needs a New Generation of Compassionate Men" it explains how society expects men to behave,

"When men are angry or quite, it is accepted by the society as normal. However, when a man

exhibits emotions such as fear, anxiety and sadness, the society would be calling him feminine,

womanish and not a true man. " This expresses the popular idea that some emotions can not be

used by men because it is not considered manly and by showing these emotions they will not be

seen as a true man, which is defined by society. It also expresses the idea that men should not

show emotions at all, that it is better not show emotions than to accidentally show the wrong
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ones and be ridiculed by society. Which is not okay, because it is not healthy for men not to show

emotions, every person should have the right to express themselves emotionally. Men fear being

called feminine because they live with the idea that it is only acceptable that women show

emotions. To men when they are called feminine it is the same as being called weak. This is

unacceptable that men feel they are not allowed to show emotions because they feel afraid of

going against societies views of men, they feel afraid if they go against these views that they will

be labeled as weak. The right to freely express oneself is to be respected, it is respected when

people do not judge what emotions men should show or don't show. People do not understand the

struggle a man goes through living up to these outdated stereotypes, what a toll it can take on a

person.

What some people don't think about is how men face these stereotypes in their own lives.

In the article written byMcFarland it expresses his own experiences with these male stereotypes,

"The problem is that I don't like it. I feel vulnerable and that's not something at which I've had a

lot of practice. My parents never taught me to react to emotions such as grief and despair by

keeping it all in, but society did." The author tells his audience how he does not like to express

emotions or cry, he feels uncomfortable doing so. He informs how he feels that society is a major

reason he feels unable to express his emotions without being judged, he feels that it is true that

society does not want men to show emotions. He also tells that this way of thinking about male

stereotypes is not a family belief that is taught, he does talk about being pressured by his family

to meet these demands of men he feels pressured by society to maintain these beliefs and traits.

This quote is very important because when people talk about male stereotypes in a group, they

talk about facts and statistics, when people talk about stereotyping individual there is more
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feeling emotions; both ways get the message out it is important to hear someone's own story and

struggles. People need to become aware the toll these stereotypes are being taken on men. From

young to old, males feel that they have to live up to these stereotypes or they are not considered

men, it is terrible that this stress to be a perfect man is put on younger children, this needs to end.

If no actions are taken things will only get worse.

One of the greatest damaging effect of these male stereotypes is the increase in male

suicide. Reiner tells his audience how it is more likely for men to commit suicide than women,

"As men continue to fall behind women in college, while outpacing them four to one in the

suicide rate, some colleges are walking up to the fact that men may need to be taught to think

beyond their own stereotypes."(Reiner590). Reiner discusses how men are more likely to commit

suicide than women and how people are trying to stop this problem. The article shows the reality

that their is a problem among men, that something is happening that is causing a suicide increase.

Men committing suicide is becoming a large and increasing problem that is caused by

stereotypes. Emotions are a major reason that men are committing suicide, they can't fully

express them selfs and this leads to repressed emotions, this is not healthy. There needs to be a

light shined on male suicide, society needs to end the stereotype that men need to be stronger and

show less or no emotion, men are taking their own life's because nothing is changing. Another

popular belief is that men should not ask for help when dealing with problems.

Men are convinced by society that they are not able to ask for help. In “Stereotype Male Image

Stymies Bid to Seek Help.” a factor is given that contributes to male suicide, "Research based on

the world's largest all-male cohort study found those who identified as self-reliant were

significantly more likely to experience suicidal thoughts, while in the preceding two weeks
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nearly one in 10 had been disturbed by thoughts they would be better off dead." (Alexander).

This informs the public that men feel that if they are going through a rough time in their life, if

they are struggling with something they should struggle alone and fix their own problem. Men

might have suicidal thoughts because they can't talk to others. The article revolves around the

idea of men committing suicide because they do not have a relationship with a person that they

can talk to about what is wrong with their life or ask for advice, society makes them feel that

these relationships are for weak men. In this society men are taught to handle there own

problems, they should not ask for help because a real man should not need help. Men believe

true strength is shown when a man is able to handle there own problems, they also feel that

talking about their feelings will lead to criticism that will question if they are truly a man. These

stereotypes and expectations of men need to end, no one should have to feel they have to be

alone, at some point a person will need help when they face a problem or they might never find a

solution. With no one to help them they might feel their is only one way to end their pain, and

that way is unfortunately suicide. No one should struggle alone and consider suicide . Society

needs to change its view on men, people need to accept that sometimes men need help, and

should feel comfortable asking for help and not worrying about what other people will think of

them.

Men need to feel comfortable showing their emotions and even crying and for that to

happen society needs to change its views on men. This statement by McFarland expresses what

needs to happen to end stereotypes, "Perhaps what is needed is for a well-respected figure to

challenge this last male taboo by publicly demonstrating that crying is a perfectly acceptable

emotional outlet. "(McFarland). McFarland having to deal with male stereotypes himself tries to
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find ways to end these stereotypes and tells what he believes needs to change, that it should be

acceptable for men to cry. He acknowledges that these stereotypes are old concepts that have

been around and used for many generations and it might take time to change this, but it must

happen. It has been said that it is hard to watch a man cry, but that is only the case because in

every generation that idea has been kept alive and been taught to children. To end these

stereotypes made by society, people need to stop trying to control how they believe men should

behave and allow the men to determine that for themselves, this will help men feel more

comfortable to be true to themselves. If future generations of men are going to get a better

chance expressing themselves freely, children need to be taught that it is okay to cry and show

emotions. Before anything changes society and the people in it need to agree that these

stereotypes should not be applied to our daily life's, it is important that all people agree, because

if not it only takes a few people to keep a idea alive.

Stereotyping of men has been a long concept and practice, but now it is the time for that

to end and for us as a society to heal. Men needing to hide their emotions should no longer be

required to do so, people showing emotions healthy, should not only be allowed but also

encouraged. Men should not have to face their problems alone because they fear they will be

judged by society, instead their should be group of people that are willing to help. It is okay for a

man to cry, it should not be seen as a terrible act that a man commits. The rules to be a man don't

exist, the only thing that men should live by, is what makes them happy and comfortable. The

moment society stops using these stereotypes to view and judge men, is the moment men can

freely express themselves without fear of consequences.

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Works Cited

The Society Needs a New Generation of Compassionate Men.”. Daily Times (Pakistan),

Newspaper Source Plus. 27 July 2018. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?

direct=true&db=n5h&AN=BKM2DTP20180727.16.206.00048&site=ehost-live.

"“Men Don’t Cry.” Nation (Pakistan), Newspaper Source Plus 17 May 2016. EBSCOhost,

search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?

direct=true&db=n5h&AN=2Z11NAT20160517.30.75.00068.2&site=ehost-live.

Harriet Alexander and Kim Arlington. “Stereotype Male Image Stymies Bid to Seek Help.”.

Sydney Morning Herald, Newspaper Source Plus. 8 Oct. 2016, p. 8. EBSCOhost,

search.ebscohost.comlogin.aspxdirect=true&db=n5h&AN=DOC6RSRU5S0P0X1N8HCAC2V&

site=ehost-live

Reiner, Andrew. "Teaching Men to Be Emotionally Honest". They Say I Say, Gerald Graff, Cathy

Birkenstein, Russel Durst, Edition 4, Norton, Page 589-594.

ROB McFARLAND. “Big Boys Don’t Cry, but Real Men Are Learning.” Sydney Morning

Herald, Newspaper Source Plus , 20 May 2006, p. 26. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/

login.aspx?direct=true&db=n5h&AN=SYD-59MDLM74E80DC8C02W9&site=ehost-live.