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Compassionate Communication

Non-Violent Communication -- NVC

The Language of Compassion & The Opportunity to Connect

Receiving with
Expressing with
"How are you?"
"How I am"
"When I see/hear ... Facts When you see/hear ...

I feel ... Feelings are you feeling ...


Needs, Wants,
because I need ... Values, because you are needing ...

would you be Request and now would

willing to ... you like ...

OBSERVATIONS-FACTS: a neutral, objective description of what was seen/heard;

NOT mixed with evaluations, or opinions, or conclusions (You’re being ____ !)

FEELINGS - EMOTIONS: the “pure” emotion being felt by you (or the person you're
empathizing with); NOT a perception or judgment of the other person (“I feel/think that
you____ ,“)

NEEDS, WANTS, PREFERENCES, VALUES, DESIRES: stating the “bigger picture” of what is
connected to the emotion;
NOT expectations or blame, as in anything that sounds like “because you ____“, or
“because I need you to be ______"

REQUESTS: a positive, do-able action, only if it is what the other is willing to do;
NOT a demand of the other person. Non-Violent Communication in Hanoi Vietnam

Definition of empathy 1: the action of understanding, being
aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the
feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.