Mariah Jessen

ESL 6063
Assignment 9 Activity A

After categorizing the errors I marked, I noticed that I tended to mark grammatical

features throughout. I mostly focused on issues with articles and incorrect usage or the need for

the plural. The reason for this is because it is this student’s final draft and these errors sometimes

make the sentence a bit hard to follow. In addition, I did notice that there were times when there

were run-on sentences or sentences that just weren’t grammatical enough to be clear. I did mark

these a few times as well. I didn’t want to spend too much time on these simply because there

was no guarantee that the student will go back and correct these or even seriously consider/think

about them. However, if the student were to ask (I would have an open door policy) I would be

more than happy to work with them in order to help them understand their errors and ways to

approach correcting it.

In one place, I specifically mention the rhetorical feature they used to discuss “the

weakest” they had determined from the text and in another when the student used the word

“firstly” and there was never a sequence of numbers after. At the end I wrote an endnote to

address the overall rhetorical issues I found. One of these issues is that the purpose of the paper

was never made clear. One could imply that the student was to critique the way Mills discussed

the funding of our national parks and decide if his approach was believable, but it was never

overtly stated and caused some confusion at first. Overall, my goal was to point out the bigger

issues that could cause comprehension problems while also giving a bit more attention to the

grammatical and citation features that I would tend to ignore in a first draft (unless it made it

incomprehensible.) Further, I am aware that mainstream teachers will be more sensitive to

grammatical and citation errors and if this is the students last chance to really get used to writing,

then I knew I needed to be a bit more particular.

Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 9 Activity A

Appendix

Appendix A

Wang Peng Student Writing Sample with Teacher Comments

Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 9 Activity A
Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 9 Activity A
Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 9 Activity A

Appendix B

Ferris & Hedgcock Student Writing Sample with Teacher Comments

Mariah Jessen
ESL 6063
Assignment 9 Activity A