BORN AND RAISED: FOOD

EPISODE TWO: FAMILY RESTAURANT

ANGELYN​​: Hey, I’m Angelyn Francis.

AL​​: And I’m Al Donato.

ANGELYN​​: You’re listening to Born and Raised from HuffPost Canada.

This episode of Born and Raised is all about second-generation Canadians who have had their
lives changed by their family restaurants.

AL​​: Restaurants are such a common thread in many immigrant stories. The Canadian food
industry is one of the easiest industries to enter, as long as you’re OK with low pay and
back-breaking hours.

ANGELYN​​: Let’s dig in.

VANESSA​​: My parents immigrated to Canada separately. My dad was born in China and
worked in different restaurants across Canada, so somehow made his way to Nova Scotia.

Not too long after that, my mom moved from Hong Kong, so she was Hong Kong-born. Two
single Chinese people, it was a marriage meant to be.

AL​​: Vanessa Ling Yu’s parents owned a restaurant in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia. And it’s
where she first fell in love with food.

VANESSA​​: My dad’s restaurant was called Ming’s. The oldest single-person owned and
operated restaurant in Canada. So my dad worked for all of that time 16-18 hours a day.

[SFX of ​VANESSA​​ reciting menu items: “egg rolls, combo platters, chicken fried rice, cantonese
chow mein, garlic spare ribs, ginger beef...”]

VANESSA​​: It amazes me that dad doesn’t understand the significance of Ming’s to the
surrounding community. And I knew, because Ming’s was amazing! People came! People don’t
go to prom at a restaurant, and also go to the restaurant with their parents and then for lunch.
It’s not the be-all and end-all, like, there’s not many restaurants that do everything that Ming’s
did. Before I was 18, I’d stuffed at least three to four wedding proposals in fortune cookies. So I
knew that that was not a typical experience.
VANESSA: ​Five years ago, my brother was going to take it over. It was kind of an automatic, of
course you’re going to do this.

VANESSA: ​It hurt. Because I...I wanna be part of the family.

For realistic reasons, immigrants parents who’ve worked in food, they know that food is hard.
And they also see girls in a certain way. If at all, they want to keep their kids out of it and
especially keep their daughters out of it because it’s hard work.

AL​​: When immigrants move to Canada, they usually want their kids to have easier lives than
they did. In Vanessa’s case, they really wanted her to be a bank teller.

VANESSA​​: I think we need to understand certain things so we can get over them. If I just
looked at it from the surface, I may never speak to them again.

ANGELYN​​: I don’t want to sound selfish, but when I hear stories like what Vanessa’s dealing
with, what with her parents not wanting her to continue the family restaurant, it gets me so sad.
Because there are so few family restaurants left and I want to eat in them.

AL​​: Mhmm, I don’t think you’re being selfish at all because the decline of the family restaurant is
actually a pretty big deal in terms of preserving culture. I talked to someone whose been
witnessing this first-hand. Salima Jivraj is a second-genner who comes from a Tanzanian-Indian
background. She’s known for her food reviews on where to eat halal in her city. So when a
magazine asked her to list some favourite spots, she found that she could only name two
restaurants from her culture.

SALIMA​​: It dawned on me that this is--there’s not much out there. And then on the other side as
well, the restaurants themselves look the exact same 30 years ago. Even the owners were the
same and they were aging. So my fear and what I thought immediately is there’s no one here
preserving our culture. Their children, they don’t want to take over the family business, it’s not
their interest. So there is going to be a lack of these memories and these foods in the future for
our own children.

AL​​: But I think there’s a silver lining in this, in that preserving culture doesn’t have to look like
the family restaurant as we know it, but it can be adapting the family restaurant.

ANGELYN​​: In Toronto, in Chinatown, there’s this Vietnamese sub restaurant that’s run by the
parents, they sell bánh mì. But, they have that old restaurant, it’s been there for, I think,
decades at this point. And their kids actually created a spin-off chain called Banh Mi Boys. So
they’re kind of like, taking the old family restaurant, the old family recipes and are kind of
adapting it for the modern era and the new generation.
AL​​: Mmhmm. And it--I think it’s also attracting a new demographic because as second-genners
tend to be millennials, they tend to be younger, they don’t really want to go somewhere where
everything is super traditional. They may want to go somewhere fun and new that their friends
would go to too.

ANGELYN​​: So we’ve heard how a restaurant upbringing can complicate family relationships,
but that’s not the whole story.

AL​​: Now we’re going to hear from Eden Hagos. She’s the founder of Black Foodie, a media and
events company that celebrates food and Black communities.

ANGELYN​​: So she’s in the business of throwing parties? Living the dream.

AL​​: Among other things! And these parties are definitely the kind you bring an empty stomach
to, as they celebrate African and Caribbean food. So Eden went a very untraditional route with
Black Foodie, but it’s very much influenced by the restaurant she grew up in.

EDEN​​: My family had an Ethiopian restaurant in downtown Windsor. At that time I remember
very clearly, even though I was young, my uncle spent a lot of time and money to make sure he
presented the best possible depiction of East Africa in the restaurant. He had special chairs
brought in.

I remember this big disco ball which has nothing to do with Africa, but I think they had like, you
know, African parties there on the weekend.

AL​​: But as young adults, Eden realized she and her friends didn't frequent any of the great
Ethiopian restaurants in her city. So she decided to do something about it.

EDEN​​: Injera and Chill is a food-focused day party. There’s always a DJ, we play African music,
we also invite chefs and restaurant owners to come and showcase basically the best of what
they make and have it prepared that’s non-traditional. So everybody would have a small plate
and probably be eating standing up while dancing. So that’s not the typical way to eat injera.
But, they get to have that injera and chill with their friends.

AL​​: Injera and Chill is fast becoming an international thing, popping up in Toronto, the US and
the UK. They’ve become socials known for showing off the best of East Africa in a way we can
all relate to.

EDEN​​: I’m not doing things the same way my parents did. You know, when they opened that
restaurant, it was a business opportunity for them and they wanted to make it the way they had
it at home. I know there’s a whole generation of other Ethiopian Canadians like me who have
grown up on these familiar flavours, but have had to remix things to fit their lifestyle and also,
maybe aren’t eating it as often, so they’re looking for a treat and a space in which they can do it
that’s more inviting.

We all are learning how to preserve the culture. We might not necessarily speak the national
language, we might not even know how to prepare these dishes, but it still is very much a part of
who we are.

EDEN​​: My family actually, really at the beginning were like, “Go get a real job.” But now, they’re
very much supportive. Even other East African parents have told my parents, “Hey, we’ve seen
your daughter do this,” or, “She’s showing our culture.” I think they’re proud that I’m maintaining
it and doing it my own way and creating opportunities from it as well.

AL​​: And in his own way, Eden's dad is joining in on the fun too.

EDEN​​: Whenever he prepares anything, he goes, “Hey, take a picture of this. Put it on
Instagram.” (Laughs)

ANGELYN​​: I have my dad blocked on Instagram.

AL​​: What! OK, story time!

ANGELYN​​: Oh no!

AL​​: What happened?

ANGELYN​​: There’s no reason! Well, I love that they can have fun together on Instagram there,
but my dad will see me on a beach, in a bathing suit and say, “Cover up.”

AL​​: “Cover up! The sun is seeing too much!”

ANGELYN​​: But I guess when it’s like, “I took this, I took a picture of this food here, Eden go put
it on your Instagram for all your followers. It’s like--

AL​​: All right, acceptable.

ANGELYN​​: A little bit of fatherly pride.

AL​​: Yeah, yeah.

ANGELYN​​: All right, so what story do we have up next?

AL​​: Well, OK, this story is more about a restaurant that joins the family.
ANGELYN​​: OK, so we have a little role reversal?

AL​​: Mhmm, yep. I want you to meet Mike Tan. He runs a Cambodian-inspired restaurant. His
parents are from Cambodia and they were less than thrilled when their son got into cooking.

MIKE​​: Well, we have a meat delivery coming through!

Al​​: Wow, cool! It’s always busy huh, even when it’s not open.

MIKE​​: Yeah. Oh yeah. Once we get into this building there’s always people in here.

Hey I’m the owner of Tuk Tuk Canteen, Mike Tan. Chef, dishwasher, cook, handyman,
everything of Tuk Tuk. The jack of all trades.

So tuk tuk is a little motorcycle with a carriage on the back. We took the name tuk tuk because
what you do is, you ask the tuk tuk driver, “Hey, where can I get some noodles? Where can I get
some good fried chicken?” And they’re like, “Oh.” They just get you in the tuk tuk and you take
off, and you go find food.

My parents came to Canada because of the Khmer Rouge regime. They were in a refugee
camp and then they got married in the refugee camp because it was easier for them to get
refugee status to move to a different country. So they picked Canada.

My mom was a cook. When she was a little kid, she would cook for the village. My mom was a
cook in the refugee camp. All throughout her life, she’s always cooked. My mom, I think, really
wanted to have a restaurant. Yeah.

AL​​: It was his mom's dream. But when Mike followed a path to the culinary arts himself, his
parents were not happy.

MIKE: ​When I entered--entered the industry, they saw that I was working 80-hour weeks,
getting paid absolutely nothing. They came over with $10 and they went to college, they bought
a house, they raised a family. They haven’t seen me do any of that, right?

AL​​: Mike was working incredibly hard in an industry he loved, but no matter what he did, it never
seemed to make his parents proud.

MIKE​​: For so long I sacrificed my entire life. Friendships, relationships, holidays, family time.
Sacrificed that all just to be a cook, to get to where I wanted to be.

And to go back home once a year and my parents being like, 'Hey you should go to college or
university or go do something else.'
Kind of heartbreaking at some points, right?

AL​​: Mike recently went to Cambodia for the first time with his parents. They urged him go and
re-connect with relatives.

MIKE: ​“I was like, “I’m going to Cambodia,” to my business partner. He was like, “OK. When you
come back, we’ll have a solid idea of what we’re going to do.” Midway through my adventures, I
sent an email, pretty much being, “Alex, we’re doing a Cambodian place. I’m inspired. I can do
this.”

It was kind of eye-opening. I got to cook with my family, with my mom’s village. When I got to
cook with them, the tie between what my mom cooks for me and Cambodian--Cambodian food
kind of made more sense.

AL​​: So would opening a restaurant inspired by his parents' cuisine change how they felt about
his chosen career? Well, here's what happened when Tuk Tuk opened.

MIKE: ​The first time that they came in, we were packed and we had a waitlist of like an hour.
And my dad was sitting down and he got up. He was walking around the restaurant with his
chest and his chin in the air. He was just like, “food’s good right?” to all the customers. The
customers were weirded out for a second, then they’d be like, “Yeah, it’s good.” And then, he’d
come out to the front, people would be walking into the restaurant. My dad’s like, “Come in,
there’s seats everywhere.”

Megan, my GM, was like, “No, no, no we’re on a waitlist right now, we’re on a waitlist for an
hour, you’re going to have to wait.”

I don’t know. I’ve never seen my dad so happy and so proud.

AL​​: And his mom felt the same.

MIKE: ​When she’s in town, she always wants to be in here. And she, she just wants to do
dishes, she wants to make sure everything’s running correctly. She would just call me up, “Hey,
can I come to the restaurant? Like, I can do some work. I can fold some dumplings.” Like, no
ma. No. I asked her if she wanted to do a guest chef appearance here, she definitely wants to
do that, we just have to set up time for that.

She just loves everything. The biggest, brightest smile, all the time.

They love it. My parents love Tuk Tuk. They love that all the flavours they put in my mouth as a
kid, now, everyone loves.
ANGELYN:​​ I love how Mike’s parents finally came around to the restaurant, it’s not just
something that they’re proud their son did. It sounds like it’s a source of family bonding. It
sounds like they can’t stay away.

AL:​​ Yeah, it’s awesome, I’m like so here for it.

ANGELYN: ​So, what about Vanessa, who we started with? What happened with her parents’
restaurant?

AL:​​ Well, remember her brother took it over? Not as simple as it sounds …

VANESSA: ​My brother called me and he was really upset and he said, “Can you see if you can
come help me?” Because it was hard, it was not easy.

And then on the weekend I would go man the woks and help fill in where possible. So there was
a lot there. Two years ago, he decided it wasn't for him and so the restaurant retired, along with
my dad.

I did not know, none of us knew, how much people were going to care. The line-up out the
street for people to come and have their final, like everyday final meals, it was interesting how
many final meals people were having.

And people still would like, Facebook message me or contact me and say, “Vanessa, why don’t
you come back and do this? I’ll help you! I’ll help you!”

ANGELYN:​​ ​Do you think Vanessa will ever take them up on their offers? Will she go back to
Nova Scotia and open up her own place?

AL​​: I don’t think that’s in the cards. She’s doing really important work in her own city these days.
As an activist, she convinced the city of Toronto to remove racist language from its food safety
manual because it discriminated against Chinese restaurants. And she runs caterToronto, which
helps people get ahead in the catering business. Many of her clients are newcomers and
women of colour. Like, she’s really a superstar in her line of work.

AL:​​ But … like so many kids of immigrants whose parents just don’t understand, Vanessa used
to hide all of her advocacy work from her parents.

VANESSA​​: So when the public health and food handler thing happened, it went into the
Chinese press plus the mainstream press, and they found out and they--they chastised and
slash were angry at me because it’s not the early bird gets the worm, it’s like, the early bird gets
hit with a pan.

AL​​: Meaning, keep your head down. Don’t make a fuss. Don’t change the status quo.
VANESSA​​: It’s a gap in understanding. They really, really know food business, but I really,
really know food business. And it’s from different perspectives.

AL​​: But now that Ming’s has closed, Vanessa’s relationship with her dad has changed. He
visited her in Toronto and saw a side of her he never knew. Not his little girl who was unworthy
of continuing his legacy. He met his daughter, the activist.

VANESSA​​: Because he was retired and had some time, he came to stay with me for a month.

And after a weeks of schlepping around with me, he was like, “Oh my god, Vanessa. YOU love
food! And this is what you do!”

And he had no idea. So busy running the restaurant, he really has never known.

So it was nice for my dad to see what I did.

He saw the value in it.

ANGELYN:​​ That’s it for this episode of Born and Raised. I’m Angelyn Francis.

AL:​​ And I’m Al Donato. If you’ve got room for seconds, Family Restaurant has something for
you that’s off-menu. To see photos of our guests, read show notes and the episode’s transcript,
you can visit huffpost.ca

ANGELYN:​​ Born and Raised is produced by Al Donato and Stephanie Werner for HuffPost
Canada. Executive producers Andree Lau and Lisa Yeung. Stay tuned for our next episode,
where we get lost in translation.

VANESSA​​: 20 years, like I said, that I’ve been speaking this way, it’s just been a habit of
pronouncing my name NGUYEN [NUH-GOO-YEN] instead of NGUYEN [ŋwǐˀən] and pho [FOE]
instead of pho. [FUH] The two most common words in Vietnamese, Nguyen and pho, that
everyone asks me to pronounce, you know, I’m a little tired of that question, “How do you
pronounce this?

ANGELYN: ​Until our next episode, thanks for listening. Stay hungry.