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PMA Extracts

PMA extracts
This section shows extracts from three PMAs, each writing the same assignment. By comparing the writing
between these extracts, you can see both good and poor techniques. I refer to each student by a false name:

Diane Distinction. She reviews the literature very well and structures what she says.

Peter Pass, but not with high marks. He only has a little reference material and shows poorer structure.

Fiona Fail. She does not answer the question and she does not do adequate research.

They are all responding to the same question on company leadership, and the post-module assignment sheet
is given on the next page. I chose this subject as most of us will have some concept of a leader and will be able
to absorb what the extracts say. I selected three responses to the same assignment so you could compare
them. Diane’s is very clearly better than Fiona’s, with Peter’s part way between the two.

I do not comment on the content as our purpose is only to consider how these PMAs are written. Of course, it
is possible to write well, but write rubbish, or write poorly yet know your subject. Marks will have been gained
and lost based on their understanding of the subject, and for this reason it would be foolish to state the exact
marks. For these PMA workshops, I am interested only in authors’ writing style. This I am judging in four ways:

1. Do they answer the assignment’s question? Do they examine all that the module tutor is looking for?
Is the balance between the parts of the question broadly correct?

2. Do they argue a point of view rather than simply talk about the subject? Is there any sign they have
tried to link common themes across different authors?

3. Do they refer to external sources on which to base their arguments? Or is there unsubstantiated
opinion?

4. Do they guide the reader through what they want to say with good introductions, conclusions and
other writing techniques? Do they write in an academic way?

Some preliminary pages overleaf give the assignment as set, an example ‘PMA’ analysis, and a mind map such
as Diane (the distinctive student) might have produced. The three assignments are then compared for their:

 Introduction
 Structure
 Argument
 Paragraph style
 Conclusion
 Reflection

Extracts from the assignments are given with a brief commentary.

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PMA Extracts

The PMA on leadership styles

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PMA Extracts

P art 1 3,000 words: leadership theory to bring success –

so 300 (max) + 2400 + 300 (max)

Leadership theories. Quality

M atters
Successful company CEO + another director
NOT business strategies. Leave coaching.

A ction
EXPLAIN how I would USE

P art 2 500 words: personal reflection on process of

learning about leadership.

M atters
What I’ve learnt on leadership
In module and afterwards.
Process/developed.

A ction
Personal REFLECTION
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PMA Extracts

Mind maps
The two mind maps below relate to the structure in Diane’s assignment. The first map is the outline as a
pattern. The second is a fully expanded map in the linear order used for writing.
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PMA Extracts

Diane’s Introduction
Diane’s introduction is excellent. It is clearly laid out, with the question to be answered at the top.
Her first paragraph gives a motive, followed by profiles on the two directors she has selected. The final
paragraph maps her objectives for what she wants to say. The reader is therefore expecting three
sections: one to identify the leadership style chosen, one to justify that selection, and the third to relate
it to practice.
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PMA Extracts

Peter’s introduction
Peter’s layout is not as clear as Diane’s. We do get a restatement of the assignment and the first
paragraph is acceptable, though it is very wide sweeping. In the second paragraph he says, “the
purpose of this paper is to review a number of leadership theories”, but he does not mention what
these are. The reader does not know what is coming up. There is no map.
The introduction does not tell the reader how the report will answer the question set.

... missing text...

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PMA Extracts

Fiona’s introduction
Fiona’s introduction starts well, though she does not state (as given) the question to be answered.
However, she writes as though the question is on the strategy of the company, rather than on an
analysis of the most appropriate leadership style for that company. Her writing uses “we” and “I” rather
than the preferred third-person academic style.
Her final sentence (“First I would like to focus...”) at least gives a direction for what is to follow. This
approach of ‘explaining the business situation first, and then outlining the appropriate leadership style’
might have worked if she had been brief about the first and extensive on the second. She wasn’t. She
focused on the business. She didn’t answer the question on leadership styles.
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PMA Extracts

Diane’s argument
In her introduction, Diane listed three objectives: 1) select from the theories, 2) justify that selection
and then 3) apply to the company. Diane begins her first section with a section introduction, pointing
out that four aspects must be examined. She brings together all her reading in an excellent 2-page
summary table, shown below as small images with an extract. This table gives the pros and cons of
different leadership styles. Her reading is extensive; her synthesis is strong; her reporting is excellent.

... missing text ...

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PMA Extracts

Diane’s argument continued

The original assignment question asked for the application of the theories discussed. Diane does this in her
second section. Her first paragraph on application brings out the two styles she has selected (transformational
and strategic), which she then develops in two distinct sub-sections (only the heading of the first is shown in
the extract). The structure is clear.

Having explored the practical use of her two chosen leadership styles, she sums up her plan for the two
directors (which was the focus of the question set) with a helpful summary table.
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PMA Extracts

Peter’s argument
Peter begins his main content by focusing on the issue, but does not map out what the section intends
to achieve. In his second paragraph he selects transactional theory as his chosen leadership style, but
offers no justification here of his choice nor any indication that he will.

His second section is Why this theory?, but this only quotes a single review source rather than Diane’s
comprehensive literature.
His ideas on transformational leadership lead to a section on Team Leading. However, this is not
developed into a detailed application of the theory, which is what was asked for in the question. All
Peter says on application is shown in the paragraphs below, which refers to 4 basic processes of team
leading, but only quotes 2.

Peter’s depth of literature review is weak and his practical application, which was requested for the
assignment, is poor.
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PMA Extracts

Fiona’s argument
Fiona first analyses the situation the company faces. Her hope ‘to focus on these factors in order to
choose the leadership theory that will be most appropriate’ is never realised. Her choice of leadership
styles is justified as follows:

The writing style is pesonal rather than academic. Her choice of leadership styles is because they are
‘interesting’ and ‘easy to apply’. No justification for these statements is given: this is personal
preference, not argument. Though she says above that she will look at two theories, this section only
goes on to consider one and the second is left to a completely new section. Furthermore the balance is
skewed: the first theory takes 4 pages, the second only 1½.
Fiona then stops. There is a final paragraph (below) that is simply added on to her last section. Is it an
application of the theory she is discussing or a conclusion to the whole assignment? It is not clear from
the layout. Note again the personal writing in the use of ‘I’.
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PMA Extracts

Diane’s paragraph style

Diane supports her ideas with many references to the literature.

Note also how the paragraph begins by telling her readers where they ares in her structure (“The second
factor...”) and then continues with a clear topic sentence (“Transformational leadership can act as a
catalyst...”). Further points are added with “It is also...”

In the paragraph below, note how Diane links the new section back to what she has already discussed (with
“As stated above...”) and how the first paragraph acts as an introduction to the section by explaining that it will
cover four components of transformational leadership. Again, her statements are backed up by the literature
and the theory is applied.
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PMA Extracts

Peter’s paragraph style

Peter also supports his views from the literature, but not in such depth or fequency as Diane.

He is, in places, very vague: “they are generally constructed around the trait theories...”; “they contain a vast
list of traits...” No support for these claims (which may be valid) is given.

He is not as skilled as Diane in linking his paragraphs together. His style is one of simple paragraphs, each
stating a separate point, but with little development of an argument. It reads like a list of features would for a
laptop: it has a good screen; it has sufficient memory; it has a long battey life. But laptops are sold on benefits
not features, and a good sales description would link the screen, memory and battery life as essential for
‘working on important documents when away from the office’.
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PMA Extracts

Fiona’s paragraph style

Fiona is largely descriptive in her writing, rather than analytical. She only cites five sources, one of which is the
module notes.

This descriptive style, with lists of points taken from books and articles, is not MSc level. There is no reflection
on what she has read or comparison of one source with another. This is not ‘critical writing’.

The extract below falls into the trap of discussing authors rather than ideas. This can be important where key
ideas are linked to influential people, but most assignments focus on a discussion of ideas. The in-text citation
format is incorrect; and the observation that leadership is ‘highly debated’ cries out for a comment on that
debate. It may be hard to come to a reasoned conclusion, but MSc level writing encourages you to do so,
however tentative.
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PMA Extracts

Diane’s conclusion
Diane’s conclusion is to the point and ends with a reference back to the question set. It is not a long
conclusion. At just under 200 words it is below the 10% guideline. Her Introduction was 300 words. The
guidelines are just guidelines: Diane’s balance of Introduction, Main text and Conclusion is good.
In her first paragraph she gives memories of what she has discussed: she has looked at
transformational and strategic leadership. These two leadership styles have determined her structure
throughout. By having a clear structure, she demonstrates clarity of thought and argument.
In her second paragraph, she broadens out from the detail to paint a broader picture that gives
importance to what she has done. She gives the meaning to her choice of leadership styles:
transformational leadership does X and strategic leadership does Y, and both are valuable.

In her final sentence she punches home the single message: her practical action plan will develop the
skills for effective leadership and company success. This answers the question set, which was:

See how her final sentence echoes words from the question: use from the original question is echoed in
her skills, the word leadership becomes effective leaders, and successful company becomes desired
success. She has answered the question.
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PMA Extracts

Peter’s conclusion
Peter’s conclusion does not clearly summarise the points he has made in earlier sections: there are no
memories for the reader to consider.
He does, helpfully, refer to the limitations of his work (which neither Diane nor Fiona do), but putting
this as the last paragraph cools the mood, and it would have been better if his last-but-one paragraph
(“As all theories and leadership...”) had ended his report. This paragraph does refer to success (a key
word in the question set), but not to the practical application of leadership for the two Directors.
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PMA Extracts

Fiona’s Conclusion
What conclusion? There isn’t one.
Nothing. Nada. Nought. Zilch. Diddly squat.
There’s no conclusion to tie it all together and point out how her work has answered the question.

This page is intentionally left blank

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PMA Extracts

Reflections

Below is an extract from Diane’s reflection on the module. It is honest and she relates her learning to
her own experience of being a leader. She picks up on the phrase learning process in the question and
explains how her sense of leadership developed during the sessions.

Peter’s reflections are less personal than Diane’s. Although he ponders lessons learnt, he expresses this
as a summary rather than as a process worked out through the sessions.

Fiona offers a very open reflection on her experiences during the module.