Running head: FAMILY STRESS AND COPING

Autobiographical Personal/Family Crisis

Name

Institution
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Autobiographical Personal/Family Crisis

Stressor Event (A Factor)

Father’s Employment Loss

My father encountered an issue at work where he fought with one of his colleagues.

After they were investigated it turned out that father was guilty since he initiated the fight, which

led to the termination of his employment. He got stressed since multiple bills relied on his

employment.

Resources (B Factor)

Social Support Network

I was a member of the social network support in my church, which offered me significant

moral support. The group leader of the social support team with my peers in the group offered

me significant moral support. They enabled me to acknowledge the divorce experience in my

family and prayed together with me for God’s guidance through the stressful moment.

Mother’s College Diploma

My mother had obtained a college diploma in marketing although she had not acquired an

employment opportunity. Considering the fact that we relied significantly on father’s salary, it

would have been a tough journey without his assistance. However, mother’s diploma was the

replacement as she had to acquire an employment opportunity.

Part Time Employment

Apart from my studies, I had a part time employment opportunity in rubber industry. I

served as a salesperson where I would advertise the rubber products and earn a commission from

the sales. The earnings also contributed tremendously to the family’s financial requirements.

Perception of Stressor Event (C Factor)

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Constant Stress

Considering the fact that the lack of financial support was the cause of my parents’

divorce, I had the falsified guilt that I was the cause of the divorce. I was impacted by constant

stress since I assumed that it was my responsibility to mend the broken relationship between my

parents.

Lack of Father’s Emotional Support

After father had left I felt distressed and disillusioned since I was left with only my

mother’s support. Lack of such emotional support from my father made me hopeless as I felt

different from my peers. The experience was worse since mother did not allow us to have access

to our father.

Intense Sadness

All members of our family were clouded with intense, particularly our mother. She had a

mixed reaction since she felt ashamed when we learned about the divorced reality and was also

burdened by the weight of taking care of the family as a single parent.

Crisis (X Factor)

Divorce

My father’s loss of employment meant that he could no longer take care of the family

expenses. Such a scenario led to constant quarrels and argument between father and mother,

which finally led to their separation.

Pile-up (AA Factor)

New Parenting Challenges

Being a single parent was one of the devastating roles that mother experienced. She had

to serve both the role of a house mother and a father who would provide for the financial
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requirements of the family. The experience was worse since we were young children who

required maximum attention from parents.

Poor Father-Child Relationship

I never had enough experience with my father since he divorced my mother while we

were still young. Besides, mother did not allow us to interact with our father. Such separation

made me believe that father decided to abandon us, which led to a poor father-child relationship

between my father and me.

Changes of Roles in Family

We had to adopt new roles in the family after the separation, particularly me. I used to

spend the part-time salary on my personal requirements only. However, I had to assist my mother

in offsetting the family’s requirements, which placed me in a more responsible role for the

family. Besides, mother had to obtain an employment opportunity and fill the gap left by my

father.

New/Existing Resources (BB Factor)

Extended Family Support

My aunts and uncles intervened after mother was unable to handle the pressure from the

single parent situation. Besides, the extended family offered us emotional support, which

alleviated the depression I experienced.

Strong Mother-Child Relationship

Previously I was not closely related to my mother since I loved my father more.

However, his departure generated a strong emotional bond between my mother and me. Such a

scenario led to establishment of a strong mother-child relationship.

Support from Peers

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After undergoing the trauma that resulted from my parents’ separation, I was unable to

stand on my own. My peers both at school and the church offered me both emotional and

spiritual support that enabled me to overcome the experience I went through during that period.

Perception of Crisis/Post-Crisis (CC Factor)

Feeling of Abandonment

My perception regarding father’s action of leaving compelled me to develop a feeling of

abandonment. His absence generated a feeling of being discarded, insecure, left behind, and

undesired by my father. I had the falsified perception that he was abandoning me and not my

mother since I was the reason for his departure.

Feeling of being torn between the Parents

I went through a situation of dilemma regarding the choice of the two parents. I was

fonder of my father than my mother before the divorce encounter. However, the separation

generated enmity between father and mother compelling me to make a choice for the parent to

follow. I chose to stick with my mother since we went through the trauma together, but I still

adored my father, which made it difficult for me to ignore him.

Perception of Support

The amount of support I obtained from both the church members, peers, and extended

family generated a sense of belonging in me. I developed the perception that numerous people

cared for me despite my father’s abandonment. Such perception of support enhanced the post-

traumatic experience since they assisted me to overcome the situation.

Adaptation (XX Factor)

I went through the maladaptation and bonadaptation experience after the divorce

experience. The maladaptation experience included over-controlled and under-controlled

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behavior and lower social competence. The uncontrolled behavior was more pronounced against

a male individual since I had the perception that my father abandoned us. Besides, the lower

social competence was due to the fact that most of my socialization experience was controlled by

my mother only. On the other hand, the bonadaptation experience included enhanced coping

skills and maturity level. The trauma I went through compelled me to develop enhanced skills to

cope with the situation. On the other hand, the change in family roles that placed me in an

advanced position of supporting the family enhanced my maturity level. I began perceiving all

situations and challenges from a maturity point of view rather than the immature personal

character I previously developed. However, the bonadaptation experience was pronounced than

the maladaptation one. The maturity experience and enhanced coping skills were more

significant in my life than the uncontrolled behavior and lowered social competence.