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DIOR.

COM
SEPHORA
Ciara
On How to Level Up

4
SEXY
WAYS TO
WEAR A
SWEATER

Are Priyanka, Hailey, and Ariana on to Something?

BIRTH
CONTROL
CRISIS
If You’re Not
Looking to
Get Pregnant,
You Must
Read This! NOVEMBER 2018
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that our reproductive freedom is


currently being threatened by an
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on depriving women of rights they
have enjoyed for decades. If you’re
thinking Oh, that will never happen,
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What I’m
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p. 136) to hear about the scary stuff
Saving Time!
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A L L I E H O L LO WAY.

Michele Promaulayko
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12
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LUOEM
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Heart Sticker Co.


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It’s time to use your


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believe in. Get out and
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Editor-in-Chief SVP/Publishing Director, Chief Revenue Officer


MICHELE PROMAULAYKO DONNA KALAJIAN LAGANI
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Theresa Griggs ASSISTANT BOOKINGS EDITOR Ryan Hackal ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER/CHIEF EVENTS AND SPECIAL PROJECTS
EXECUTIVE EDITOR Sascha de Gersdorff ASSISTANTS Rachel Bogo, Savee Dalgo, REVENUE OFFICER Peter Medwid DIRECTOR Kim Grant
EXECUTIVE MANAGING EDITOR Maria Baugh Danielle Flum ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER/ADVERTISING SENIOR MANAGER Jennifer Snyder
CHIEF FASHION DIRECTOR, Stacy Nathan
WOMEN’S GROUP Aya Kanai BEAUTY ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER/HEAD OF ART
CHIEF BEAUTY DIRECTOR, BEAUTY DIRECTOR Marta Topran BRAND STRATEGY AND MARKETING CREATIVE DIRECTOR Lulu Zeitouneh
HEARST MAGAZINES Leah Wyar Romito SENIOR BEAUTY EDITOR Lauren Balsamo Jo Bray
CHIEF PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR, BEAUTY EDITOR Maddie Aberman EXECUTIVE FINANCIAL DIRECTOR PRODUCTION
HEARST MAGAZINES Alix Campbell ASSOCIATE BEAUTY EDITORS Peter Schmidt PRODUCTION/OPERATIONS DIRECTOR
ENTERTAINMENT DIRECTOR Kate Foster, Erin Stovall NATIONAL ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Chris Wengiel
Lindsey Benoit O’Connell ASSISTANT BEAUTY EDITOR Erin Reimel Eric Bizzak OPERATIONS ACCOUNT MANAGER
DIRECTOR OF EDITORIAL AND BEAUTY ASSISTANT Hana Hong GROUP MARKETING DIRECTOR Lynn Scaglione
BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Laura Brounstein Marnie Braverman
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DEPUTY EDITORS Faye Brennan, Molly Stout ART DIRECTORS Christine Demetres Alissa French VP STRATEGY AND BUSINESS
DESIGN DIRECTOR Jose Fernandez Giordano, Betsy Halsey MANAGEMENT Rick Day
ASSOCIATE ART DIRECTORS INTEGRATED ADVERTISING SALES
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ASSOCIATE EDITOR Rachel Mosely DIRECT RESPONSE ACCOUNT MANAGER EXECUTIVE VICE CHAIRMAN
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Danielle Kam EXECUTIVE PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR ADVERTISING SERVICES DIRECTOR SECRETARY Catherine A. Bostron
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CONTRIBUTORS Logan Hill, Matthew Hussey, COPY AND RESEARCH EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT TO THE PUBLISHING PUBLISHING DIRECTOR
Emily Morse, Esther Perel, Aurora Tower, COPY DIRECTOR Ann Bacon Wright DIRECTOR Lynn Goldstein-Garguilo Michael Clinton
Julie Vadnal RESEARCH DIRECTOR, AD COORDINATORS Seana Leen, CHIEF CONTENT OFFICER Kate Lewis
HEALTH ADVISORY BOARD YOUNG WOMEN’S GROUP Chris Moore Gina Pisacreta, Kelly Zindel SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT,
Jennifer Ashton, MD; Whitney Bowe, MD; DEPUTY COPY CHIEF Estee Brooke Friedman ASSISTANTS Samantha Colin, CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER Debi Chirichella
B A N N E R : D A N I E L L E O C C H I O G R O S S O D A LY/ S T U D I O D.

Ian Kerner, PhD; Albert Matheny, RD, CSCS; SENIOR RESEARCH EDITOR Lauren Dzubow Rachel Fulton, Isabel Lanaux,
Stephanie Middleberg, RD; Marisa Weiss, MD; Stephanie Schoenster HEARST MAGAZINES CHAIRMAN David Carey
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ACCESSORIES DIRECTOR Kathy Lee DIRECTOR Roni Martin-Chance MARKETING Sara Schroeter
BOOKINGS DIRECTOR Steven Brown SENIOR EDITOR Scott M. Lacey SENIOR DIRECTOR Melissa Macaleer INTERNATIONAL EDITIONS
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1
Just in time to plan
your voting-booth
lewk! All proceeds
from the MZ Wallace x
Lingua Franca tote
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help female candidates.

2. Chic wear-
able tech alert:
The new Fitbit
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target.com)
even tracks
your period.

November

3. Calling all edgy


romantics. Rebecca
Minkoff brings her
quirky yet relatable
vibes to a gorge
sunnies collection
($98 to $158, rebecca
minkoff.com).

4. Mastered HQ ages
ago? Try Out of Tune, a
music game in the App
Store with cash prizes

to get that ’90s-pop-


jams knowledge ready.
S U N G L A S S E S : D A N I E L L E O C C H I O G R O S S O D A LY/ S T U D I O D.
COSMOPOLITAN and CosmoHair by COSMOPOLITAN are a trademark of Hearst Communications, Inc. ©2018 Hearst Communications, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
BEST NOVEMBER EVER

6. Cool-girl club The Wing


launches the No Man’s
read 8. A hot one-night-stand
bae becomes coworker
bae in Mr. Nice Guy ($12,
amazon.com), written by
9. Masterful
storyteller Jodi
Picoult is back with
a tense hostage
thriller set at an
abortion clinic in
A Spark of Light
($19, amazon.com).

10. Broad City’s


Abbi Jacobson
Land podcast on Novem- IRL baes Jennifer Miller shares her drawings
ber 15. Think of it as the and Jason Feifer. and road-trip
all-female history lesson musings in a breezy
you’ve always wanted. book of essays, I
Might Regret This
($19, amazon.com).

11. In Josie Silver’s


One Day in
December ($11,
amazon.com), a
chance encounter
on a London bus
turns into a
Bridget Jones–
inspired romp.

B O O K S : D A N I E L L E O C C H I O G R O S S O D A LY/ S T U D I O D. O R A : G E T T Y I M A G E S .
12. The Hamptons
are haunted by an
ex-wife in Lisa
Gabriele’s The
Winters ($18,
amazon.com).

13. Liane Moriarty of


Big Little Lies fame
is back with Nine
Perfect Strangers
($19, amazon.com),
a mystery set at a
wellness retreat.

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7. Who’s that girl?


Rita Ora’s highly
anticipated sec-
ond album is on
the way. Expect
an emotional
roller coaster with
an EDM heart.

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BEST NOVEMBER EVER

15 16

watch TV

14. Instagram
Stories superstar
Busy Philipps gets
her own late-night
14

TV show, Busy
Tonight, on E!
(October 28). She has
a memoir out this
month too. Busy girl!

15. No more talking


cats. Netflix reimag-
ines the teen-witch
MOVIES
classic in The Chill-
ing Adventures 18. Potterheads,
of Sabrina rejoice. Fantastic
(October 26). Beasts: The Crimes
of Grindelwald pro-
16. Netflix’s OG vides more HP magic
streamer House of (November 16).
Cards goes out
with a bang—and 19. Horror heroine
the most stylish U.S. Jamie Lee Curtis

P H I L I P P S : G E T T Y I M A G E S . C R EED I I: B A R R Y W E T C H E R / M E T R O G O L D W Y N M AY E R P I C T U R E S / WA R N E R B R O S . T H E C H I L L I N G A DV EN T U R E S O F S A B R I N A: D I YA H P E R A /
fights for her life in

N E T F L I X . M Y B R I L L I A N T FR I EN D : E D UA R D O C A S TA L D O/ H B O. FA N TA S T I C B E A S T S : C O U R T E S Y WA R N E R B R O S . P I C T U R E S . H A L LO W EEN : R YA N G R E E N / U N I V E R S A L .
president ever
(November 2). the new Halloween
reboot (October 19).
17. Beloved BFF
fable My Brilliant 20. Keira Knightley
Friend gets the as the Sugar Plum
miniseries treat- Fairy? Yes, please.
ment on HBO The Nutcracker and
(November). the Four Realms is
pure fantasy adven-
ture (November 2).
17
21. J.Lo (finally!)
returns to her rom-
com roots in Second
Act (November 21).

22
Michael B.
Jordan
and his abs
(and biceps) return for
Creed II. Boxing bro-
mances and brawls
ensue (November 21).
18

20

19 21

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

20
A NEW ERA OF STYLE
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© 2018 Pandora Jewelry, LLC • All rights reserved


the quickie With Amandla Stenberg, activist, actress, and
star of The Hate U Give (out October 19)

I have a weakness for: Tough musicians


with hearts of gold. My weirdest quirk: I have
optional dimples—I can control them.
The last time I was nervous: When I came
out as gay. Something I used to worry
about but don’t anymore: Always showing
up to everything. I simply don’t have time
not to be authentically enjoying myself.
The sexiest thing IMHO: Patience, under-
standing, and making an effort to communi-
cate. The most pivotal year of my life: The year
I graduated high school. I fell in love, and I
started working more. My entire perception
shifted when life opened up to me as
an adult. The most meaningful trip
I’ve taken: Japan with my best
friends after a bad breakup.
Something people get
wrong about me: That I’m
the PC police. One thing
I want to achieve by this
time next year: Some sort of
workout regimen, for god’s
sake. If I could fix only one
thing about the world, it
would be: Equity, equity,
equity, hunny!
My mantra: The shine
J O H N R U S S O.

speaks for itself!

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Rachel Mosely

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cosmo guy
Rami Malek
The Mr. Robot actor is
bringing down the house
as legendary Queen
frontman Freddie
Mercury in the biopic
Bohemian Rhapsody
(November 2).

Happier
Holidays
He Will “On Thanksgiv-
ing, my mother Watch Out
Rock You
isn’t satisfied until “Being on Mr.
“I don’t know how everyone is Robot has made
much swagger I stuffed to the me very conscious
have—I’m pretty Got You, Bro
gills. It’s a lot of of everything I say
unassuming. It’s Mediterranean “My twin brother
and do. I always
not like after play- dishes. If you saw,
Piano Man and I have the
feel like some-
ing Freddie I’ll be you might be like “I learned to play most incredible
one’s monitoring
wearing leather all ‘This isn’t Thanks- piano while doing sister, Yasmine.
us and we’re not
the time, but it giving food!’ And Bohemian Rhap- She gets us
fully aware of it.
was fun trying to we’re a rowdy sody. It’s a nice through the
But maybe it’s for
emulate his swag- bunch. Everyone way of escaping good times
the better. People
ger and putting has a drink...or into another and the bad
should think
that mischief two or three.” headspace. I times. She gives
before they open
behind my smile won’t be perform- us really good
their mouths.”
and eyes. You see ing at parties advice. Let’s just
why people were though. People say that a lot of it
so drawn to him.” will say ‘Play all of has been about
Queen’s hits,’ and relationships!”
that’s not in my
repertoire!”
CONTOUR BY GET T Y IMAGES.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Rachel Mosely

24
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© J&JCI 2018
Good for you never
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Why Some Men Need
to STFU After Sex
By Phoebe Robinson

Unless your name is Bobby


Most erotic novels depict McFerrin, singer of “Don’t
sex with nauseating Worry, Be Happy,” don’t insult
phrases, like her center, me then drop a dollop of “no
flesh mound, and the heart worries” on top like it’s Cool
of her femininity. I don’t Whip on a slice of peach cob-
want to put you through that. bler. My thighs don’t need
Besides, it’s what happens after fixing because they’re not a
sexy times that we really need problem! They are two strong of mine engaged in period sex
to talk about. cocoa-colored powerhouses only to be told by the guy mid-
Back in 2010, I had hooked that my niece climbs and hangs deed that he didn’t enjoy the
Robinson is
up with a guy we’ll call Eric. from yet are tender enough to way her vagina smelled while down for
Upon exiting the bone zone, be the star of a six-piece drum- she was on her period. Are. some booty,
we engaged in some small stick box from KFC. You should You. Kidding. Me?! not
critiques of
talk. After a couple of beats be grateful AF that this Black- For too long, women have her own.
of silence, homeboy took on leesi said yes to sex with you. had to deal with this type
a serious tone and said, “Ya And just when I didn’t of body shaming that some
know...there are exercises you think it could get worse, Eric men have thought is perfectly
can do to tone up your thighs.” jumped out of bed, threw on acceptable. But let’s return
Record scratch! Nope! his underwear, and literally to #Thighgate2010, because
Y’all, this is the biggest nope demonstrated a series of exer- every lady I know has some
I done noped in my life. Bigger cises I could do to, in his words, self-esteem issues in part due
than the nope I feel when I “make [my] body better.” And to outside sources like Eric.
see a grown-ass dude wearing with that, let’s add “telling And we all respond differently.
Crocs with socks and bigger someone the ‘flaws’ that their Some work out more. Or eat
than the nope I screamed when body needs ‘fixing’” to the list more. Or starve. Or feel unwor-
a pigeon drive-by pooped on of things you don’t ever say to thy. Or do the thing that I used
my arm and friends told me someone immediately after sex, to do, which I never, ever will
that means good luck. Anyway, which includes “I killed a guy” again: try to prove to him as
Eric was cruel, but I didn’t have and “Train is my favorite band.” well as myself why my body
the strength or self-love to kick Kidding aside, turns out and, to a lesser degree, why I,
him out of my apartment. getting negged post-coit is was good enough. Q
Instead, I was silent. commonplace among my
He continued: “Yeah, you straight girlfriends. Some Adapted from
Everything’s Trash, but
could be more toned, but no have been told they get “too It’s Okay, by Phoebe
R O B I N S O N : M I N DY T U C K E R .

worries, you don’t need to lose wet” down there, others “take Robinson, to be pub-
lished on October 16,
weight. This is an easy fix.” too long” to come, while oth- by Plume, an imprint of
ers are not thin enough to date Penguin Random
House LLC. Copyright
publicly but are good enough © 2018 by Phoebe
for “sex on the DL.” One buddy Robinson

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

26
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Confessions

“When I first
moved to the
city, I got a job as
a bartender even
though I had zero
experience work-
ing at a bar. I lied
and told my boss
I was a pro at
mixing drinks,
when in reality
I couldn’t make
anything more
complicated
than a vodka
soda. If anyone
ordered a fancy
P H O T O G R A P H E D B Y A L L I E H O L LO WAY. LO C AT I O N : I N D U S T R Y K I T C H E N .

cocktail, I’d hand


them a beer on
the house, smile,
and explain
that we were
currently out of
whatever liquor
they wanted. I
lasted three
months at that
job before man-
agement finally
caught on.”
—RACHEL S., 28,
EDITOR, DETROIT, MI

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

29
TOO FUNNY!

Celeb
Confession

“I forgot my “I’d been


wallet on a casually
hiking date hooking up “For our senior
and got my with this guy prank in high
period. My date for a few months school, we
needed not only and decided to painted all the
to drive me to a finally sleep over. columns in the
drugstore but The next morn- school, and I
also had to pay ing, while walk- put my name on
for my tampons.” ing home in my one. Bad idea!

T O I L E T PA P E R , F LO W E R P O T, A L E X U S : G E T T Y I M A G E S . C O N F E S S I O N S M AY H AV E B E E N E D I T E D F O R L E N G T H , C O N T E N T, A N D C L A R I T Y.
—NAOMI F., 27, bar outfit from The administra-
TEXTILE DESIGNER, tors called my
SUFFERN, NY the night before, parents and
I Snapchatted made me return
“At an intra- my friends, to paint over
mural softball ‘Lovely morning my name. My
game, I got up for some S,’ dad came to
to bat but felt an which is our help, and when
agonizing pain. code for sex. a school official
Turns out, I had a Groggy and checked in on
huge splinter hungover, I acci- me, I was on my
“One time I was up for a really sticking out of dentally sent it phone and my
dad was the one
important job. When I walked my ass. My team-
mate grabbed
to my mother.
She never opens
painting.”
into the office, I thought the some alcoholic —AJIONA ALEXUS,

punch and used


person interviewing me was it to disinfect
the cut while
moving in for a hug, so I tried to pulling the splin- her saying she
hug her. Well, turned out, she ter out. This was
in front of the
doesn’t under-
stand my
was really just moving to get past entire crowd!”
—FRANCESCA L., 26 her S stood for
me! I was so embarrassed!”
—EMILY M., 22, ASSISTANT MERCHANT, WASHINGTON, D.C. —SARAH B., 21

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

30
“When I hopped out of a cab on my
way to work, I felt something
strange around my ankles. I looked
down to see my new skirt on the
pavement, leaving me in my
underwear with people all around!
I picked up my skirt and rushed to
try to fix the broken zipper.”
—KELLY F., 24, TV PRODUCER, NEW YORK, NY

“I went on a
second date “I met this
with a guy cute guy at a
who had party who
asked me asked me for
over to Netflix my number.
and chill. As Later, we hooked
soon as the up. It was really
movie started, nothing special
he got up and and very quick.
said he had to When we were
work for a bit. A done, I asked him
bit? He came to grab me a glass
back only after of wine from my
the movie was fridge, but when I
over…rude! did, I called him
Then he was the wrong name.
ready to get Oops! He looked
into a full super offended
make-out sesh. and left.”
Just as things —ANDREA C., 20
were getting
pretty heated, “I was work-
I totally lied ing out at
and gave it a fitness
right back to studio, and
him by saying there was a hot
‘Sorry, I have to guy on the
go to work’ and treadmill right
walked out.... next to me. I ran
Sucks for him. faster to try to
He should’ve impress him,
watched the but I lost my
whole movie balance and fell
with me!” off the treadmill
—SAMI F., 29,
GRAPHIC DESIGNER, mid-sprint.”
SUFFERN, NY —TAYLOR A., 23

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

31
TOO FUNNY!

#CanYouNot Crazy
Situation
Working
Your Last
Nerve?
Vent
Here!

1
“Can you not send

2
me the heart-eyes
emoji via text
when we haven’t
even met yet?
#TinderFails”
—DANI K., VIA INBOX

“Nothing annoys
me more than a
guy canceling
five mins before
you’re supposed
to meet....It’s
not like I spent the
past two hours
getting ready.
#CanYouNot”

3 4
—@TRITLA,
VIA TWITTER

“People who
respond to an
e-mail with a
phone call for
no good reason. E N T R I E S M AY H AV E B E E N E D I T E D F O R L E N G T H , C O N T E N T, A N D C L A R I T Y.

1 2 3 4 #CanYouNot”
—@BASIL_GG,
WTF Ugh! LOL Really? VIA TWITTER

“Seriously. “Can you not lean “Wondering “Ordered a


“Just had to
My house is on the subway what the thought medium pizza, and
actually not a pole like this? No process is with this is what they watch a couple
bathroom, one else can hold going out in two gave us. This looks do motivational
thanks. on! #Ugh” different shoes. like a cheesy kisses for every
#CanYouNot” —AMY C., VIA INBOX #Hmm explosion crime sit-up in front
—@NAYNAY131, VIA #CanYouNot” scene. #FoodFails” of my treadmill….
INSTAGRAM —SAVANNAH C., VIA —@PABLO_ #CanYouNot”
INBOX POPOLOCHO, VIA
—@IMKATEEE17,
INSTAGRAM
VIA TWITTER

Tweet or ’gram what’s bugging you with a photo (hashtag: #CanYouNot), or e-mail
Got a Gripe? Inbox@Cosmopolitan.com (subject: #CanYouNot). You might see your handle here!

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

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TOO FUNNY!

Dates From Hell


“This guy took
me to a nice
Italian place,
and things
were normal
until the
drinks arrived.
I’m pretty sure
he’d taken
something that
didn’t react well
with his drink,
“I was on a because he
movie date started slurring his
with a guy I’d words and
met online and seemed to have
not even half- trouble using his
way through it, hands. He ordered
he tried stick- chicken parm and
ing his hand dropped a whole
down my shirt piece of chicken in
and feeling me his lap…twice! I
up. I told him to told him he was
stop because I “I went out freaking me out,
barely knew him with a man who and he yelled,
and there were was so proud of ‘Never say that
people literally being a coun- again!’ I asked him
right next to us. A try boy that he “Once I was on a date with what was wrong,
little later, I had to told me a story someone who asked me and he got up,
“I met someone

G E T T Y I M A G E S ( 5 ). D AT E S M AY H AV E B E E N E D I T E D F O R L E N G T H , C O N T E N T, A N D C L A R I T Y.
go to the bath- about how he threw money on
room, and he told had to shoot what I like to read. who worked the table, and
me to meet him at on the same
his family’s sick Thinking it was a great street as I do, walked away. My
his car when I was dog. I started friend’s boyfriend
done. Because I crying because
question, I asked what he and I agreed to had to drive
wanted to enjoy I’m a huge dog was currently reading too. go out with
him. We ran into 30 minutes to
the rest of the person, and he come pick me up.”
movie, I told him no, started yelling that
He responded, ‘Not much, his boss, who asked
—MORGAN V., 23
him, ‘Are you
but in the end, he if I wanted to be although there is my going to get lucky
just wanted to with him, I better
hook up. He drove poop book.’ Confused, I tonight?’ And my
grow thicker skin.” date said yes right
me home in dead —KELLY C., 24 asked him what a poop
silence and played in front of me. That
Beyoncé’s ‘Sorry’
book was. He replied, definitely wasn’t
to tell me it wasn’t ‘Y’know, the book I read happening! When
going to work out. I dropped him
on the toilet!’” off after, he said,
It was so awkward!”
—JENNIFER R., 22
—ELIZABETH F., 21 ‘Well, let me know
if you have any
questions!’”
—CHLOE G., 25

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

36
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

39
STYLE
M&B USA shorts, $11, amazon.com
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Fendel necklace.
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Vince Camuto
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Vanessa Mooney
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Dolce Vita
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

42
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Ganni sweater,
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Paige Stables

54
BEAUTY

Lash Out
Start Slow
Before you go all
in, play with a more
muted version of your
favorite hue to make
sure you love it, says
celebrity makeup
artist Georgi Sandev.
For example, forest

Loud
green instead of lime;
navy before cobalt.
1. Maybelline New York The
Falsies False Lash Mascara in
Prep With Navy Glam, $6, drugstores
Primer
“It makes colored mascara
look more intense,” says
celebrity makeup artist
Dionne Wynn. Chanel La
Base Mascara ($32, chanel
.com) also has provitamin 2
B5 to nourish lashes.

“Ask yourself if you want to


enhance your natural beauty or
create an edgy look,” says Sandev.
If it’s the former, pair your mas-
cara with eye shadow or liner in

L AU R E N T. F R O M T O P : M A S C A R A V I N Y L C O U T U R E / Y V E S S A I N T L AU R E N T F U L L M E TA L S H A D O W / Y V E S S A I N T L AU R E N T L E AT H E R
the same color family—such as

M AY B E L L I N E M A S C A R A WA N D : I K E G A R T E N . P H O T O G R A P H Y: A N T O N I O T E R R Ó N ; S T Y L I N G : S A N D R A E S C R I Ñ A ; M O D E L : S PA N I S H
blue mascara with purple lids, as

A C T R E S S V E R Ó N I C A E C H E G U I ; H A I R & M A K E U P : M I G U E L ; Á N G E L Á LVA R E Z ( A N A P R A D O M A N A G E M E N T ) F O R Y V E S S A I N T
our model is wearing below.

J A C K E T / Z A R A FLO W E R S C A R F / L E O N & H A R P E R . M A S C A R A V I N Y L C O U T U R E / Y V E S S A I N T L AU R E N T B O DY / T E Z E N I S .
2. L’Oréal Paris Voluminous Original Mas-
cara in Cobalt Blue, $8, lorealparisusa.com

Clash 4
(on Purpose)
“I like to play with contrast for
a more rebellious vibe,” says
Sandev. “That could mean Wear It Like Jewelry
mascara and shadow that are If you’re unsure which color to
opposites on the color wheel choose, reach for gold or silver.
or even two different mas- (Urban Decay’s double-ended
5 cara shades.” A dope combo: wand has both.) If it looks good on
pink lashes and a blue smoky your finger or wrist, it’ll look epic
eye (seen above). on lashes…and match any outfit.
4. Diorshow Pump ’N’ Volume Mascara 3. Urban Decay Double Team Special Effect
in Purple Pump, $29.50, dior.com Mascara in Dime/Goldmine, $24, ulta.com
5. Lancôme Monsieur Big Color Lash
Topcoat in Pink, $12, lancome-usa.com 3
Open your Amazon App
Tap the camera icon
Choose SmileCode
Scan to shop!
By Kate Foster

56
Not All BEAUTY

Natural
Deo
Stinks

Underarm
Intel
Deodorant isn’t the same as antiper-
spirant. The former uses ingredients (e.g.,
essential oils, minerals) to block body odor,
while the latter uses aluminum compounds to
plug your ducts and actually stop you from sweat-
ing. “Many people who switch to natural formu-
lations report an increase in sweating, then a
normalizing of sweat levels after a few days
or weeks,” says derm Rachel Nazarian, MD.
“This isn’t a purge or detox period. It’s
your body’s way of regaining
the ability to perspire
normally.”
G E T T Y I M A G E S ( 2 ).

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Lauren Balsamo

58
BEAUTY

NURTURE
YOUR NATURAL Reapplying Is a Must
Pit Bosses
Once you swipe on a natural deodor-
BEAUTY. ant, it should work right away, says Tara
Pelletier, natural deo formulator and
cofounder of Meow Meow Tweet. “If
it doesn’t, then the formula doesn’t
mesh with your body chemistry and “This glides on easily, doesn’t have a
super-potent coconut smell, and never
you should try another.” However, leaves marks on my clothes.”
reapplying during the day is often nec- —MICHELE PROMAULAYKO,
essary for best results—especially if EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
you’re stressed, hormonal, or a profuse Kopari Coconut Deo, $14,
koparibeauty.com
sweater—so stash it in your bag for
touch-ups. A trick for boosting your
deo’s efficacy: Exfoliate your armpits
once a week to get rid of old buildup
and increase absorption, says Pelletier.

It May Irritate You “I was surprised how fresh this kept me


Dealing with irritation, bumps, or itchi- smelling through a full day of work and
ness? You may be sensitive to baking workouts—without any irritation.”
—MARTA TOPRAN, BEAUTY DIRECTOR
soda or essential oils (especially laven- Meow Meow Tweet Baking Soda Free
der, peppermint, and tea tree). “Bak- Deodorant Stick in Grapefruit, $20 for 3 oz.,
ing soda has a different pH than your meowmeowtweet.com
skin’s, which can disrupt your protec-
tive barrier,” says derm Joshua Zeich-
ner, MD. Although many essential oils
have antibacterial properties (good
for nixing BO), when applied in high
concentrations to your thin, sensitive
“I’m super loyal to Dove Advanced Care
underarm skin, they can cause irrita- Sensitive Antiperspirant, but this
tion or redness, says Dr. Nazarian. If fragrance-free deo worked just as well.”
you experience discomfort, look for a —LAUREN BALSAMO,
formula that contains gentler ingredi- SENIOR BEAUTY EDITOR
Schmidt’s Natural Deodorant Fragrance-
ents such as charcoal or coconut oil to Free, $9, schmidtsdeodorant.com
get the job done. And always wait a few
minutes before applying post-shave.

Powder Is Your Friend


While the lack of aluminum is a bonus
for your white tees (when mixed with
your armpit bacteria, it causes yel- “Whenever I’ve tried natural deo in the
low stains), it can be annoying on days past, it irritated my pits. This one was
when you’re wearing silk. To minimize soothing thanks to rose extract.”
—KATE FOSTER,
fabric-staining moisture, “dust a light, ASSOCIATE BEAUTY EDITOR
absorbent, talc-free body powder Love Beauty and Planet Pampering
under your arms after applying deo,” Deodorant, $7, drugstores
says Pelletier (we like Dr. Hauschka Silk
Body Powder, $35, dr.hauschka.com).
CHAPSTICK® TOTAL HYDRATION
Tinted Lip Oil Collection It’s Okay to Skip a Day
If you’re not cool with wet pits for a big
6 Sheer Ways to Shine meeting or event, it’s fine to go back “At the end of the day, I still smelled
to antiperspirant (while trace amounts citrusy. It worked better than the anti-
Vitamin-infused Formula
of aluminum can be absorbed through perspirant I’ve used most of my life.”
the skin, there is no evidence it causes —ERIN REIMEL,
ASSISTANT BEAUTY EDITOR
harm). Just know that when you use
Weleda 24H Roll-On Deodorant in Citrus,
deo again, your sweat glands will need $7, weleda.com
time to re-regulate themselves.
©2018 Pfizer Inc.

®
PUT YOUR LIPS FIRST

60
©2018 Pfizer Inc.

ex p e r i e n c e t h e

DAY & NIGHT d i ffe re n c e o f n o urish e d l ips

Serum Nights

CHAPSTICK® TOTAL HYDRATION


NEW Vitamin Enriched Lip Collection PUT YOUR LIPS FIRST
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D A N I E L L E O C C H I O G R O S S O D A LY.

By Erin Reimel
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P R E S E N T E D B Y AV E E N O

For Brighter
Skin, Seek Hydrate—
Inside and Out
A parched complexion

Balance
doesn’t reflect light
as well, making it look
less dewy. Start by
upping your H 2 O intake.
The National Academies
It’s the best time of year...but also the busiest! These recommends women
consume about 11 cups
easy life hacks will keep you—and your complexion— a day. (Coffee, juice, and
in perfect harmony through the holidays. watery foods count!)
Then add a few drops of
Aveeno Positively
Radiant MaxGlow
Infusion Drops into your
moisturizer or use it
alone. It’s powered by a
kiwi and soy complex
to quench thirsty skin
for 48 hours and even Aveeno® Positively
skin tone and texture. Radiant MaxGlow™
Infusion Drops, $18,
Get Your amazon.com

Beauty Sleep Keep Sweating


No matter how booked Resist the urge to
your iCal is, make sure hibernate until spring.
you’re clocking seven to Exercising boosts blood
nine hours of zzz’s per flow, which instantly
night. (That’s when your makes skin look
skin goes through its brighter. Over time, it
most intense repair positively affects the
mode.) Since blue light network of blood
can interfere with your vessels that supports
brain’s release of the the skin, leading to a
sleep hormone melato- healthier look, says
nin, flip your phone derm Whitney Bowe,
upside down an hour MD, author of The
before bed so you’re not Beauty of Dirty Skin.
tempted to text or
scroll, says sleep expert Offset Sweets
From Turkey Day to New
Year’s, all that snacking
could leave you looking
less radiant. In a process
called glycation, sugar
molecules bind to your
Shed skin’s collagen and elas-
Stress tin, making them stiffer
When you’re anxious, and contributing to skin
your body releases aging. A quick way to get
hormones such as cortisol, luminous again: Post-
party, treat yourself to
tion, collagen breakdown, and the Aveeno Positively
acne, says Dr. Bowe. Mindful Radiant MaxGlow Peel-
GET T Y IMAGES.

Off Mask. It whisks away


deep-breathing exercises dead skin cells as you pull
can help reduce levels it off to reveal bright,
Aveeno® Positively
in the body. Radiant MaxGlow™ glowing skin.
Peel-Off Mask, $18,
amazon.com

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Kate Foster

64
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BEAUTY

Layer Layer Layer Layer

1
Essence
2
Serum Cream
3 4
Oil
These liquids replenish Like your liquor, this A well-balanced bev has This step is the hydrat-
the skin after cleansing, is potent! It should a watery component— ing cherry on top. “Oils
says Jenna Walsh, a skin contain actives to like tonic or juice— can penetrate creams,
therapist at Heyday L.A. target specific skin and so does healthy, but not vice versa, so
(Think of them as the concerns, such as acne, hydrated skin. Get your they go on last,” says
refreshing ice in your hyperpigmentation, complexion’s H2O fix in Cetaphil dermatologist
drink.) Saturate a cotton fine lines, or dryness, the form of ingredients Yoon-Soo Cindy Bae,
pad with one that has says dermatologist such as hyaluronic acid MD, a clinical assistant
hydrating ingredients Dendy Engelman, MD. or glycerin. Lancôme’s professor at NYU
such as ceramides (Murad’s nourishes and cream has the latter Dermatology. And oils
or rose water (like battles wrinkles.) Apply and nourishing vitamin are packed with lipids,
Garnier’s), then pat it all it before the essence E and linseed extract. which act as a barrier to
over your face. dries, as wet skin is Lancôme Rénergie lock in moisture.
Garnier SkinActive Soothing more absorptive. Multi-Glow Rosy Skin L’Oréal Paris Age Perfect
Rose Water Facial Tone Reviving Cream, Cell Renewal Facial Oil, $25,
Murad Revitalixir Recovery
Mist 99% Naturally Derived, $79, ulta.com lorealparisusa.com
Serum, $89, murad.com
$9, drugstores

The
4

Good-
J E F F R E Y W E S T B R O O K / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T: S A R A H G U I D O - L A A K S O F O R H A L L E Y R E S O U R C E S .

Layering

Skin
your products
helps each one
absorb more
effectively.

Cocktail
By Kate Foster C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

67
Are You BEAUTY

Why You Should Be

Practicing At high temps, heat turns moisture


in your hair into steam, which cre-
ates cracks on the surface and can
damage the bonds responsible for

Safe Styling?
the texture of your hair, altering its
appearance permanently, explains
cosmetic chemist Erica Douglas,
founder of Sister Scientist. Protec-
tants create a barrier that reduces
the speed at which heat penetrates
and how much steam is produced.

The Best Pick for You


Got waves? Try a spray (such as
L’Oréal’s)—it’s easy to distribute
product evenly over bends. If your
hair is curly or coarse, reach for a
cream (try Garnier’s) to add mois-
ture and lock out humidity. If you
have fine hair, opt for a silicone-free
serum (such as Shea Moisture’s)
that won’t weigh hair down.

Apply It Like a Pro


Work heat protectants through
your hair section by section before
blow-drying and again before
using an iron or a wand. “Doubling
up on application helps you get
the protection you need, and it
ups hair’s shine and touchability
factors,” says Douglas.

scan to shop
Garnier Fructis Smooth
Blow Dry Anti-Frizz Cream, A R T H U R B E L E B E AU/ T R U N K A R C H I V E .
$4.50, drugstores
L’Oréal Paris Sleek It Iron
Straight Heatspray, $5,
lorealparisusa.com
Shea Moisture Yucca &
Plantain Anti-Breakage
Thermal Protectant
Serum, $12, amazon.com

1 2 3

Hair Turn It Down Follow the Don’t Use Irons


Many tools reach 450 degrees, but One-Inch Rule on Damp Hair
Protection going that high is rarely necessary. Putting a blow-dryer’s concentra- When too much water is still in the
Pointers “Start low and adjust accordingly,” tor directly on your hair fries your hair, it boils, causing split ends and a
says Danielle Allyson, expert stylist at strands, says Allyson. Keep it close, rough texture, says Dottie Shannon,
Butterfly Studio Salon in NYC. but hold it at least an inch away. a stylist at NYC’s Cutler Salon.

Open your Amazon App


Tap the camera icon
Choose SmileCode
Scan to shop!
C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Erin Stovall

68
SKINCARE
DOESN’T STOP
WHERE
HAIR BEGINS
©2018 P&G

Head & Shoulders Smooth & Silky.


Awarded best in skincare because scalp is
skin and the foundation for beautiful hair.
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J E N N I F E R R O B B I N S / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T.C O M .

71
C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8
Speed
for You
Right Love
LOVE

Whoa,
There!
Is it just us, or does it seem like suddenly every-
one is getting engaged at lightning speed? Nick
Jonas popped the question to Priyanka Chopra
after just two months of dating; Justin Bieber
and Hailey Baldwin, same (after rekindling
their romance); and Pete Davidson put a ring
on Ariana Grande’s left hand after four weeks.
While fast-track relationships are not new,
what makes them so surprising is that they’re at
odds with the leisurely way most young people
date today. The typical drill: You hang out as START HERE
friends or hookup buddies before gradually
becoming exclusive and taking things to the
next level. “Singles want to explore their dating You just
options and make sure they’re picking the right met
person,” explains biological anthropologist someone you
Helen Fisher, PhD, who calls this the slow-love like. Whatever
speaks to
movement. “They get to know everything about So you... you. Probs
a partner before they commit.” And a study out red!
of Emory University shows that couples who
date for at least three years before locking things
down are almost 40 percent less likely to split
than those who commit seriously within a year. Don’t delete
your apps Tell your How do you
Playing the slow game isn’t without its just yet. Ya BFF, “Um,
issues though. In fact, the noncommittal gray know, just in pretty sure choose your
case. this is The mani color at
area it creates may explain the sudden shift One....” the salon?
toward zero-to-one-hundred courtships. “Fast
love is a reaction to hookup culture and all the
sloppy, vague ‘situation-ships’ where people
aren’t making decisions,” says Susan Winter, a Hold on, you
have to text a
relationship expert in New York City. pic of your
How long
Obvi, when it comes to your dating life, In a few options to a
into dating friend.
you have to move at a pace that feels right someone do days, if it
feels right.
to you, says Carol Bruess, PhD, professor you call them Why wait?
emeritus of communication and family studies your BF/GF?
at the University of St. Thomas in Minnesota
and coauthor of What Happy Couples Do. But
know this: Your past dating experiences and What’s
personality definitely play a role. your
Use this flowchart to find out which speed you Once you shopping
meet the move when
gravitate toward. Then heed our experts’ advice fam.
to better assess your feelings for someone and you need new
jeans?
make sure you’re moving at the perrrfect pace.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Julie Vadnal

72
You Take It Fast

48
When ya know, ya know! On the
upside, you’re able to decide on
a partner swiftly if they meet
your criteria, which means you
can capitalize on the butterfly
feelings of new infatuation
percent of daters on (fueled by bonding hormones
Seeking.com say such as oxytocin). But some-
they’d need to be in a thing to consider: As time goes
relationship with by in any relationship, the
someone for a year or passionate fireworks tend to die
more before agree- down a bit in order for you to
ing to get hitched. deal with long-term, practical
needs. If you rush through early
love milestones (such as your
first fight and makeup session),
you risk skipping moments that
allow you to get real with each
other. The end result? Your
connection may not be strong
enough to last for the long haul.

You’re In Between
When you’re faced with a small
predicament, such as whether
or not to say yes to a first date,
you choose fast. But you also
U N D E R W E A R P U L L I N G : I A N M A D D OX / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T.C O M . N E C K

like to take your time with


Your
K I S S I N G : F LO R E N C I A M A Z Z A R A M S AY/ T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T.C O M .

It’s your turn bigger things, such as becom-


signature
to pick the scent. ing exclusive. That’s okay! Just
book-club book. “Never mix, remember, it’s helpful to look at
So you... never worry” why you’re advancing at a clip or
Choose applies to seriously dragging ass with a
one from perfume new boo. To get an accurate
an author too.
you just
read on your feels, ask yourself:
heard of. Am I experiencing an intense
connection to this person, or am
I afraid to lose them? Am I not
You positive they’re The One, or am I
Sift have a cool with having fun dating?
through gift card to
Goodreads Sephora.
for the best
thriller. What do You Go Slow
you buy? You like to know and test out all
your options before making a
move. This can be a good
A perfume
approach in relationships
Blow off because you’re giving yourself
your sampling
A pal sends kit so you time to get past the lovey-dovey
a “Where do afternoon
to research can try hormones that spike early on.
you want to the hippest them all on And it allows space for small
meet tonight?” new spot. at home. moments (such as supporting
text at 3 p.m. bae when they’ve had a crappy
You... day at work) that help build a
solid, long-lasting relationship.
taqueria No one is saying you’ve gotta lock
Order 15 you see on someone down today, or ever, but
pairs online, your map
and return just make sure you’re not moving
app. at a glacial pace because you’re
any you’re
not feeling. worried about missing out on
Reorder a someone better or you’re avoid-
pair that you
know you ing crucial commitment convos.
like and fits
well.
THE POWER
While the glans of
the clitoris is small,
it packs mighty
orgasmic power
with about 8,000
nerve endings,
which is around the
same number
as in the glans of a
dude’s penis.

THE SHAPE
The clitoris is
wishbone-shaped
and has “legs” that
extend internally
along your lower
pubic bones. It also
has two bulbs
located around
the openings
of the urethra and
vagina.

74
THE FEELS
Your interior
clitoris has erec-
tile tissue (like a
penis). When you
get turned on,
more blood is
sent downtown,
which gives you
that pleasurable
sensation.

Knowing your body better can boost your pleasure.

THE SIZE
When you look
down, your
clitoris may seem
pea-size. But only a
small fraction
of the organ is vis-
ible from the This fluorescent
outside. The whole masterpiece,
thing can range The Flying
from 7 to 13 centi- Wishbone, was
meters long! created
by artist Shellee
Miggins.

75
SEX

C-SPOT. LOVE
BUTTON. ROSEBUD.
No matter what you call it, brain receives a green light to
ID an
your clitoris is a supersensitive, send more blood down south,
Enjoyable
nerve-packed sex organ that which causes your internal Stim Style
exists solely for your pleasure. clitoris to swell. “When it comes to the
And your next climax probably As you become more clitoris, you have to
depends on it. Stimulating aroused, the glans (external tip) experiment,” says sex
the clitoris is either necessary of your clitoris will feel hyper- therapist Vanessa
for or enhances orgasms during responsive to touch due to its Marin, creator of
sex for a whopping 73 percent thousands of nerves being fired Finishing School, an
of women, according to a up. Once enough stimulation online orgasm work-
new study from Indiana pushes you over the edge to shop for women.
University and the research- orgasm, the surrounding area “Many women think
backed women’s pleasure contracts, delivering an “oh, they should automati-
website OMGYes. yes” release. (For some women, cally know what feels
No matter how ambitious or the clitoris will be even more good for them, but
knowledgeable you are in the sensitive post-climax, and they that’s just not the
sack, you and your partner could may not want to have anything case.” Explore the
always use a refresher course in or anyone touch it.) Then a few area to find out what
cliterature. Aim for a C+! minutes after you’ve peaked, works and what
When you first get turned all your lady parts will start to doesn’t, suggests
on (by kissing, foreplay, or relax, and your clitoris returns Debby Herbenick,
even naughty thoughts), your to its usual resting size. PhD, director of the
Center for Sexual
Health Promotion at
Indiana University
and lead author of the
study in partnership
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Julie Vadnal

76
DO YOUR HOT
HOMEWORK
AVOID SWITCH IT
DIRECT ALL UP
CONTACT Pick two ways
Sixty-seven to stroke:
percent of swirling and
women prefer tapping, for
direct clitoral example, or
touching, per rubbing and
the study, but flicking. Switch
zeroing in on between them
your love with your
button can fingers to see
sometimes feel which tech-
too intense. In nique gives you
that case, take the most
advantage of pleasure. If
your clitoris’s you’re with a
shape by stimu- bedmate, tell
lating every- them to try this
thing except duo with their
the external hot tongue. Just
spot. Having remember:
your boo rub 82 percent of
the skin around women like to
it (including the be touched
clitoral hood, in a repeated,
the fold that rhythmic
covers the nub motion, so
when you’re not spend enough
aroused) and time (at least a
Artist the labia can few minutes)
Suzy Kellems still be enough on one motion
Dominik debuted to make you before switch-
this neon vagina climax. ing to the next,
installation, called I Can and so on.
Feel, in 2017. The piece TRY PANTIES-
represents a fantasy ON PLAY ASK FOR
orgasm and lights up For a seriously A HELPING
for 27 seconds! hot thrill, keep HAND
your under- During
wear on, and intercourse,
invite your girl-on-top is
partner to hands down
touch you the best
through your position for
P R E V I O U S S P R E A D : LY N N S C H I R M E R . T H I S S P R E A D : J O H A N N E S B E R G ,

skivvies, giving your


moving the C-spot the
pads of two finger (wink!).
fingers back When you
C O U R T E S Y O F A L E X A N D R A FA N N I N G C O M M U N I C AT I O N S .

and forth over straddle your


your clitoris. partner, you or
This can also be they can simply
a steamy start stroke your
to foreplay button left to
(and a way to right with a
31 %
Like Side-
21 %
Enjoy
19 %
Get Hot
16 %
Are Into
12 %
Say Yes to
give your lover
an erotic
tutorial, adds
finger at the
same rhythm
of your
to-Side Pulsating for Pushing/ Flicking Tapping Marin) if you grinding.
Pressing do it yourself Teamwork
and let them makes the
watch. dream work!

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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

77
LOVE & SEX

Bedroom
Shoots
Are Hot
4 ST E P S TO

STEAMY SHOTS
Our exhibitionist Instagram culture and 1 3
the body-positivity movement have
birthed a well-lit love child: couples Find seductive Discuss
boudoir photography. Partners are stripping inspo. Spend time boundaries
down to their undies (or less) in professional together looking at with both
studios or at home and getting frisky for the photos online—artsy your partner
Tumblr erotica, sexy and the
camera. “It’s an exploding niche right now,” says movie scenes— photographer.
Mike Allebach, owner of Allebach Photography, that capture the feel Explain
in North Wales, Pennsylvania. He estimates you want, recom- what you’re
such shoots will be his top source of income by mends JonGunnar comfortable
next year, and he’s probably right. Nearly half Gylfason of with and which
JonGunnar Gylfason things are too
of all romantic duos are down to pose for erotic Photography, in private for
photos, according to a recent survey. New Orleans. the session,
“Clients are looking for a more personal and says Delia
intimate portrait—something that’s just for Washington.
them,” explains Delia Washington, owner of 2
Boudoir by Delia Renee, in Philadelphia. These
steamy images can mark an anniversary or a Google couples 4
milestone, serve as hard (wink) evidence of your boudoir
photographers Make a playlist
and bae’s hotness, or even be a way to strengthen to find one in that brings
your connection. Getting almost or fully naked your area. Peep your sultry
together in front of a lens also feels a little their portfolio and sides out to
dangerous, which can amp up the excitement ask for references play during
in your relationship, says sexuality educator from former the shoot.
customers to avoid Try Spotify’s
Pamela Madsen, founder of Back to the Body creeps, then book a “Feeling Sexy”
sensual retreats. And stepping out of your consultation. playlist.
comfort zone can fire up your lust life, adds sex
expert Lauren Dummit.
Interested in capturing your chemistry on
camera? Expect to pay between $150 and
$2,000, depending on the photographer, Afterward, when the photographs come
location, and whether you want hair and back, you can choose your favorites to turn into
makeup prep. It’s natural to be nervous at first. spicy artwork for your bedroom walls or
“Nobody ever comes in and says, ‘We’re going to to stash in a secret foreplay-fodder album
rock this,’” says Allebach. “But you’re bonding (of course, you should set rules for who, if any-
together over the adventure.” one, keeps possession of these photos should
A pro can guide you through the process, you two break up). Even if the pics stay hidden
including selecting outfits (if you choose to wear under your bed, you’ll still get a powerful after-
any!), props (perhaps a long necklace for you and glow. The shared “OMG, I can’t believe we did
a tie for your guy), and an aesthetic (black and that!” energy can add a new level of confidence
white, full color, seductively dim, modern and to your relationship.
bright). Photographers typically start with tame
clothed shots. Once you’re warmed up, you and
boo might begin undressing each other, looking Pull Off a DIY Shoot
into each other’s eyes, laughing, or just enjoying You can use a digital camera or smartphone
the moment. “In our studio, there’s no judgment, on a timer. Or ask a (very) trusted friend to
snap some pics with an instant-film cam, such
so you can get as weird or non-weird as you as the Fujifilm Instax Wide 300 Instant Film
want,” says Washington. Just remember: You camera ($89, amazon.com), that leaves zero
GET T Y IMAGES.

aren’t acting in a porn flick. digital records behind.

By Jill Hamilton C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

79
Dating &
Mating With
Esther Perel

Rethink
What
Qualifies as
Great Sex

You can stop


questioning
your status.

Couples who have been together a In reality, sex is a multidimensional experi-


long time know that sex plays a key ence that involves both partners’ bodies, minds,
part in a romantic bond. When the and senses. It’s a way for two people to come
sexual connection is satisfying, it generally together, share their deepest intimacies, and
takes up a healthy fraction of the relationship’s express themselves using a beautiful language.
energy. But when the sex becomes unfulfilling In other words, it’s the physical, emotional, and
or scarce or there’s some other sort of issue sensual parts of sex that combine to create a
surrounding it, all of a sudden, it can over- rewarding experience, and these are crucial to
shadow so much else (and not in a good way). maintain in a relationship. So when a couple’s
Why does this happen? sexual life stumbles, they’re missing out on so
I L LU S T R AT I O N B Y M AT T C H A S E .

Well, the answer is complicated. First, it helps much more than that physical act.
to understand that most people have a very To foster or reboot intimacy, it’s important to
narrow definition of sex. Too often, we think know that having intercourse need not be the
just about the physical act: a little bit of foreplay central objective. Sex is wonderful, but equally
followed by intercourse that ends with an important is keeping the following aspects of
orgasm. But this description only considers your sexual connection alive. These are the three
so-called performance and results. elements that make for an intense erotic bond.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

80
LOVE & SEX

LOVE QUIZ
Is your
relationship
too focused
on sex?
YES
1
Do you or your partner
keep track of how many
times you get it on?
NO
2 3
When you evaluate your
sex life, does it feel like
a judgment of your overall
compatibility?
YES NO
If one of you wants to do
the deed and the other
says no, does the initiator
get mad or upset?
YES NO

If you answered mostly yes, you two If you answered mostly no, you and
may be putting too much pressure on physical your partner have a healthy amount of space
action. Pull back from thinking that only reserved for sex while realizing it’s just one
sex counts as intimacy, and spend more qual- part of your dynamic. Continue talking about
ity time together outside the bedroom. your needs and using other methods to bond.

Think about sex not just as an act but also as a language


that you become continuously more fluent in.
AFFECTIONATE TOUCH
People can live without the physical act of sex, ing what evokes your own turn-ons and turn-offs
but we can’t really live without touch or we and communicating those. For example, perhaps
become aggressive, irritable, and depressed. you feel more sensual and flirty toward your
That’s why the happiest mates are affection- mate after you’ve taken a relaxing bath, and
ate and come into close contact with each other maybe you feel the exact opposite when you’re
in some way every day. That might mean foot really tired. Filling your lover in on such prompts
rubs, back rubs, simply holding hands, or any (and vice versa) will allow you both to capitalize
other touching that feels pleasurable to you. on the right moments to express and bask in your
For instance, one of my female clients discov- desire for each other.
ered in an exercise we did that she loved it when
her husband stroked her hair. She was amazed DEEP SATISFACTION
by how pleasurable it felt, even though this Compatibility in the bedroom alone shouldn’t
contact was happening outside their bedroom have the power to make or break your relation-
(in fact, it was happening while they were fully ship. (It’s normal to have sexual misses from
Esther Perel is a sex
clothed and sitting in my therapy office). and relationship time to time.) But knowing what makes the
This is a prime example of how great lovemak- therapist, New York sexual experience satisfying for both of you can
Times best-selling
ing can really be a whole-body experience. author, popular really improve your connection.
Try to pay more attention to the way your TED speaker, and To do this, think about sex not just as an act
the host of the
partner’s hand feels when it makes contact with hit podcast Where but also as a language that you become continu-
your skin or the way their mouth tastes when Should We Begin? ously more fluent in. This may take practice,
Learn more at
you kiss them. These moments can be just as EstherPerel.com because it is difficult to speak about sex when
fulfilling and tender as sexual intercourse, and or by following many of us have grown up learning to be silent
@Esther
they can make you feel secure and loved. PerelOfficial about it. To start, try telling your partner what
on Instagram. you like in bed, such as “I love when you’re on
ONGOING DESIRE top because I can see you feeling pleasure and
Both men and women need to feel wanted by I like taking care of you” or “I love when you call
their significant others. Knowing that this person me by my name because it makes me let go and
craves you can make your partnership feel completely surrender to what I’m feeling.”
adventurous, edgy, and passionate, on top of When you put your fantasies into words, you
feeling intimate and steady. are bringing your truest emotional needs to light.
That said, desire isn’t something you can just From there, you can focus on meeting those
force. What you can do is begin cultivating needs to ensure your sexual and romantic life
more lusty yearnings for each other by identify- remains wholly satisfying. Q

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

81
Reason
He’s Not Texting
You Back
1 3

He’s Not a He’s Only


Texter Casually
The dude may Interested
honestly prefer
to speak on the
Guys text for
many reasons,
both good
Cozy
phone. If that’s
the case, be
sure he actually
and bad. But if a
guy yo-yos
Fall Dates
calls regularly between giving What guys think about
because if you attention and these fun, couple-y outings,
he doesn’t, he’s periods of radio ranked from hell, no to
probably not silence, he’s treat-
ing you as an
abso-f*cking-lutely
interested.
attention fix, not
as a serious
2 romantic partner.

He Fears
Being 4
Trapped in
a Never- He’s
Ending Convo Legitimately
Sometimes a Busy
people are in Person
the middle of Successful
something and people tend to
worry if they live hectic lives.
answer a text, Give him the
they’ll get stuck benefit of the
in a long chat. doubt, but know
Keep texts short being busy
and simple, and doesn’t mean he Nature Hike
leave the actual is excused from
chat for IRL. communicating. “Great way to open
communication
and get your
Want to take your texting game to the exercise in too!”
next level? Download Matt’s free guide at —BRANDON L., 30
9Texts.com/Cosmo, and learn the most
attractive messages guys love to read.
Apple Picking
“I picked apples
with my grandma in
second grade.... What He Wants in a GF
Not my ideal date.” A survey of more than 100 men from
—MATT V., 21 dating app The League revealed what
guys value in a potential partner.

Tour a Local 27 % 40%


Brewery
“It’s easy to get to
5% 18%

physically attractive
know someone while
doing something fun 17 %
11%

financially stable
14 %

family-oriented
and drinking.”

spontaneous
great at sex
—ANDREW M., 22

intelligent
Football Game

funny
“Plenty of added
entertainment that
could take away
awkward date
silence.”
—THOMAS C., 23

Farmers’ Market
“Lots of
conversation starters,
food, and usually
sunshine.”
—SAM L., 21 PERCENT OF MEN
WOULD GET HIGH
ON A FIRST DATE.
SOURCE: WHATSYOURPRICE.COM
G U Y: R O C C O C E S E L I N / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T. J O I N T: G E T T Y I M A G E S .

Tips to Resist Agree to Watch the Kill ’Em Ban Screens


Ensure Touching Disagree Booze With Don’t bring
Clinging to bae Arguing politics Just because his Kindness your phone to
You Don’t (or worse, grop- with his kin can sis is knocking If a relative does dinner, and keep
Eff Up ing him!) won’t make things back G&Ts not seem to like it out of sight
Meeting win you points messy. Instead, doesn’t give you you right away, when meeting
with potential discuss with license to chug go on a charm new people. Be
His Fam mama-in-law. your S.O. after wine. Be happy, offensive to wake present IRL, not
Keep the PDA to to get on the not drunk. them up to your scrolling Insta.
a minimum. same page. awesomeness.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

83
sex
Q+A
I hear
women can
have multiple
orgasms
Honest answers to your most private questions
right in a row.
True?
A_ It’s not #FakeNews. “Women
absolutely can,” says clinical sex-
ologist Sunny Rodgers. You’ll
need to warm up properly to
become fully aroused and, even-
tually, have your first orgasm.
(The amount of time this takes
is different for every woman,
so be patient.) Once you’ve
climaxed, shoot for seconds by
stimulating an entirely differ-
ent erogenous spot. So if your
first O was from penetration, try
pleasuring your external parts
with a vibrator for round two.
From there, you can even go for
thirds or fourths if you want (get
it, girl!). But don’t be surprised
if you’re spent after two.

I’m really not a fan of


swallowing. What are
my other options?
A_ Well, you could make the
entire BJ experience an
ejaculate-free one—for you—
by using a condom to catch his
Your gag reflex emissions (not the most sensual
shouldn’t kick experience, we know). Another
in post “job”! option: When he’s about to
orgasm (ask him to give you a
heads-up), lift your tongue
to the roof of your mouth to
block anything from entering
your throat, says sexologist
Dawn Michael, PhD, author of
The Ultimate Intimacy Guide
for Passionate People, then spit
it into a tissue. Of course, you
can also direct his penis
where you want it to, um, blow.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Julie Vadnal

84
SEX

My guy’s member is What’s the diff between


super-sized. What’s the an STD and an STI?
best sex position for us? A_ While the terms are gen-
A_ Hop on top. That way, you erally used interchangeably,
can control how deep he goes there’s a subtle difference. Med-
inside you as well as the thrust- ically, the word disease implies
ing power, says sexologist Emily symptoms are present, and in
Morse, host of the Sex With many people, sexually transmit-
Emily podcast. Apply a lot of ted conditions are asymptom-
lube to ensure a smooth entry, atic. So sexually transmitted
then move back and forth in infection is a more accurate
shallow pumps so that only half term. The use of sexually trans-
Tangle the
his penis is entering you. His mitted disease has also dropped sheets—then
sensitive tip will still get action, out of favor because it sounds wash ’em.
and you’ll enjoy G-spot feels. unnecessarily scarier, says ob-
gyn Tami Rowen, MD. “When
My old BF recently came someone has strep throat, we
out. We used to have don’t say they have a disease. E-mail your Should I wash my sheets
sex questions
great sex, and I thought They have a bacterial infection to SexQandA immediately post-deed?
the attraction was that can be treated.” STI carries @Cosmopolitan A_ “Honestly, it depends on
.com.
mutual. Was I wrong? less stigma too. The shift has how much of a mess you made,”
A_ While it can sting to find helped people feel more com- says Rachel Hoffman, author
out that an ex is gay, try not fortable about getting tested. of Unf*ck Your Habitat: You’re
to take it personally. It has Better Than Your Mess. “A good
nothing to do with you or the Any thoughts on a great- rule of thumb is that if there are
chemistry you two had. “Sex can tasting flavored lube? areas on your sheets that you’ll
be amazing and still not be A_ Try an all-natural kind such try to avoid when sleeping,
enough to sustain a relationship as Woo More Play, an organic chuck ’em in the wash.” Same
if other pieces aren’t in place,” coconut oil–based lubricant goes for a funky smell or sex
says Eli Green, PhD, founder that is safe for licking and leaves stains that may be tough to ban-
and CEO of the Transgender a delightfully not-gross consis- ish. For instance, spots from
Training Institute. “It doesn’t tency on your tongue. (Just keep scan to shop water-based lubes should wash
mean your experience was it at room temp or under your out just fine, but other kinds
invalid.” Remember: Sexual pillow before you use it—the oil may leave longer-lasting damage
behavior is just one part of can harden below 69 degrees.) (rub a little dish soap on them
sexual orientation. It’s possible As for the flavor: The yummy before washing). You can also
that your ex felt genuine love combo of vanilla and coconut Woo More Play pretreat any semen, sweat,
Coconut Love Oil,
and attraction for you but will make you feel like you’re on $25, amazon.com saliva, or blood smears with an
that he’d be most fulfilled by a a very sexy beach with a peen-a enzyme cleaner, then cleanse
G E T T Y I M A G E S . C O U P L E : R O B E R T W H I T M A N / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T.

relationship with a man. colada in hand. your sheets in cold water.

“It’s about being present in the moment so that you can connect more to yourself
and your partner,” says Emily Morse. Start by trying to practice mindfulness
WTF IS... by engaging all five of your senses during the experience. “Spend time creating a
sensual environment with scented candles, a soft blanket, and calming music,”
Spiritual suggests Morse. Slow down your breathing and make eye contact, and instead of
Sex? focusing on orgasming, zone in on the various sensations you’re seeing, smelling,
touching, hearing, and tasting. Some women say that when they practice this, they
can actually feel a transfer of energy mid-sex—sort of like a spiritual release.

Open your Amazon App


Tap the camera icon
Choose SmileCode
Scan to shop!
C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

85
LOVE

Ask Him Anything


Love advice from our guy guru, Logan Hill

Do you think my hubby


actually cares what type
of undies I wear to bed?
I’m going to my A_ Odds are, your husband is
cool with your wearing plain
boyfriend’s regulars most of the time. He
knows he’s in a real marriage,
parents’ house for not some glamorous movie.
But will he love it when you
Thanksgiving. hop between the sheets in a
cheeky Brazilian thong? Will
Any tips to make he perk up when he sees you
strut into the room in new lace
sure my first visit bottoms? Hell, yes. Your
husband doesn’t expect you to
goes smoothly? linger in lingerie all the time,
but when you do, he will
definitely appreciate the effort. If you’re
Just make pulling out all
sure Mom’s the frills and
not allergic!
So many dudes on
ruffles, um,
dating apps say they’re yeah...he’d
entrepreneurs or “self- better notice!
employed.” Is this just
code for “jobless”?
A_ You’re right to be skeptical.
Just as many guys claim to
be 6 feet tall when they’re Are guys into piercings
really 5 feet 8, there are a lot down there on women?
of “self-employed” men who A_ You want to be with a man
are actually broke with who likes you for who you are, so
F R O M L E F T: J A C K I M I L L E R / S T O C K S Y; C H R I S C R AY M E R / T R U N K A R C H I V E .

no work prospects in sight— who cares what guys like me


or less likely, they’re think? If you want to, pierce
delinquents. (Nobody is that labia, vajazzle it with
more self-employed than a crystals, get a beautiful pubic
drug dealer.) However, the tattoo...or do nothing at all. It’s
gig economy is real, and your body! Sure, some men
more people are starting prefer natural, uninked or
A_ Trust your boyfriend to help you make businesses or working for unpierced skin, and others go
a great first impression. Ask him for some themselves now than ever crazy for women with full-body
pointers, like “What house gift should I bring before (including me). If a tats and heavy metal. Ulti-
for your mom?” or “What dessert should I match having a job is really mately, I’d wager that most guys
make for your dad?” Then once you’re there, be important to you, don’t are just thrilled a woman will
respectful, kind…and yourself. If there are any hesitate to Google-stalk him get naked with them, piercing
awkward moments, give his parents the benefit and then ask, “So...what does or not. And the right stud will
of the doubt. Weird vibes may not be about you. self-employed mean exactly?” love your down-there stud.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

86
When I act like a bitch, When I started dating Why are men in their
men love it. But when my BF, he was more into mid-30s averse to dating
I’m sweet, they lose me than I was into him. women their own age?!
interest. WTF? Now I think that bothers A_ Ah, an age-old question.
A_ As a guy who’s chased some him. How do I make sure Fortunately, it’s nothing to take
mean women, I admit this phe- he doesn’t question my personally. Unfortunately, patri-
nomenon can be complicated current feelings? archal and outdated attitudes
to explain. Dudes who aren’t A_ Insecure guys can be the could be motivating this behav-
ready for commitment often go most stubborn. They hold on to ior. Theories include: Guys who
for standoffish women because doubts and put up emotional are older and want kids foolishly
nothing says not looking to get Logan Hill has walls, making it tough for the assume being with a younger
dated around,
married like total disinterest. hooked up, grown
truth to get through. There’s no woman will automatically up
Others may see resting bitch up, screwed up, easy fix here, but you can wear their odds of having them. And
and settled down,
face as a welcome challenge. so he knows what
down his defenses by continuing men often pick superficial youth
In either case, these are men he’s talking to tell him how much you care. over substance because they’re
about. See more
who typically love the chase or of his insightful
The longer you’re together and often, well, superficial. The
naively confuse a nice attitude answers to your the more you show your appreci- Peter Pan factor is also huge:
love dilemmas at
with boring. And I’m not sure Cosmopolitan
ation, the more comfortable They don’t want to grow up, so
that’s who you want to be with. .com. he’ll feel in your relationship. they cling to youth. ■

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

87
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Why
You Get
Hangxiety

89
C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8
WELLNESS

After a boozy
night out, Caitlin,
27, of Florida,
often wakes up
with a bad feeling
in the pit of her
stomach. It’s not
nausea. It feels more like
a toxic mix of stress and
self-consciousness. “My
heart races. I worry about
the things I did, said, and
who I said or did them to. I Some
overanalyze everything.” champagne
problems are
The phenomenon she’s all too real.
describing, colloquially
referred to as hangxiety, can
strike after only a couple of
drinks. “You don’t need to body tingles, increased Debra Kissen, PhD, clinical mitter that has the opposite
black out or even be super heart rate, sweating, short- director of the Light on effect. As alcohol leaves
hungover to feel hangxiety,” ness of breath, and upset Anxiety CBT Treatment your body, GABA’s calm
explains Thomas Kash, stomach,” says Kash. Center in Chicago. vibes fade. And to make up
PhD, a professor of phar- It stems in part from two for being MIA, glutamate
macology at UNC School The Root Cause biological processes: First, goes into overdrive. “This
of Medicine. And it can It’s not a diagnosable dis- drinking triggers the release rebound effect can lead to
ratchet up existing feels order, but mental-health of a neurotransmitter called anxiety,” says Kash.
about things like family or experts know hangxiety GABA, which makes nerve
work drama. “Hangxiety is common. “Many people cells chill out. At the same Getting Back
feels like any other form notice a pattern of anxiety time, booze suppresses to Baseline
of anxiety and can involve the day after drinking,” says glutamate, a neurotrans- Even people who aren’t
normally anxious can
get hangxiety, says Kash.
But anxiety sufferers are
WHILE WHEN YOU STRESS... WHEN YOU’RE more at risk, according to
YOU’RE OUT... Got too turnt and did TEMPTED TO BLOCK the journal Alcohol and
If you don’t want to something reckless? IT OUT...
How to Deal

ditch drinking alto- Damage control may Avoid the “hair of the
Alcoholism. Same goes if
gether (no judgment), be in order. But if dog.” Chasing hang- you get wasted often, since
alternating spiked you’re just ruminating xiety with a mimosa ongoing benders make you
bevs with still or spar- on nagging or minor will just postpone it more susceptible to anxiety.
kling H 20 is an easy worries, disengage until later. “You might
way to keep your drink with a 30-minute feel less anxious in the While there’s not much
intake (and bar tab) in endorphin-boosting moment, but it’s a you can do about your bod’s
check. It may also run or Riverdale bad cycle to get into,” reaction to booze (and btw,
prevent you from binge. “Dissociating says Kissen. Instead, classic hangover “cures”
developing full-blown helps convince wait it out until your
hangxiety on top of a your brain these brain chemistry like ibuprofen probs won’t
GET T Y IMAGES.

full-blown physical stressors won’t hurt resets. You should feel nix hangxiety), these three
hangover, says Kash. you,” says Kissen. normal by nightfall. steps (left) can help soothe
hangxiety’s worst effects.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Lisa Freedman

90
health
Ask Dr. Ashton
Q Could stress impact how
long my period lasts or
how bad my cramps are?
The hormones your body unleashes
when you’re frazzled can absolutely
mess with the length of your flow,
making it shorter or longer. It’s less clear
whether stress affects pain severity. If
you notice a big change in the consis-
tency or intensity of your monthly aches
(especially if this persists for a few cycles
in a row), see your doctor to find out if
stress could be to blame or if you should
be tested for conditions that may exacer-
bate cramps, such as endometriosis.

Q Can I start to get


looser down there from
having lots of sex?
Nope. Getting it on (a lot or a little)
shouldn’t affect the tightness of your
vagina. The tissue at its opening is
surrounded by muscle that helps it

THE REDUCED
BREAST-CANCER RISK
IN WOMEN WHO
CHIEF WOMEN’S HEALTH
CORRESPONDENT
ATE AT LEAST TWO HOURS
BEFORE GOING TO
SLEEP, COMPARED TO
THOSE WHO WENT TO BED
RIGHT AFTER DINNER,
ACCORDING TO A STUDY IN
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JOURNAL OF
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P.ball, $60,
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protein linked to the P.ball. Created by trainer


migraine, says Stephen Pasterino, founder of
neurologist Amaal NYC fitness studio P.volve, it is
Starling, MD. Botox, designed to activate your booty
which works on and deep abdominal muscles
for extra-taut results. (Online
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THE CURE

Constipation
K Y L E D E L EU/ T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T. R U B B E R B A N D : G E T T Y I M A G E S .

1 2 3

The Dietitian The The Holistic


Caffeine from coffee Gastro- Health Pro
or tea can move enterologist Studies show acu-
things along. So Try hitting the gym. puncture helps,
could herbal ginger Forty-five to 60 min- likely because it can
tea, if you don’t want utes of high-intensity relieve anxiety and
a buzz. Also try exercise (read: you depression, both of
eating more fiber— should be out of which could be con-
specifically, 25 grams breath) can do the tributing to your
per day via fiber- trick. If the problem backup. I also pre-
rich foods such as persists for two scribe senna, an OTC
pears and black weeks though, see herbal laxative (as
beans. And don’t for- your doc for a thyroid with most herbal
get to stay hydrated. scan since an under- supplements, check
- active thyroid can with your doctor
Connie Diekman, RD, slow down digestion. before taking it).
director of university - -
nutrition at Gina Sam, MD, a Shari Auth, a holistic
Washington University gastroenterologist in health practitioner in
in Saint Louis New York City New York City

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Caitlin Carlson

93
WELLNESS

Get Spritzy Downsize Your Deo Whip “Gym Hair”


Douse yourself with Besides being adorbs, this mini Into Shape
this tropical-scented antiperspirant uses sweat-activated This compact
spray (it contains mild technology to trap odor and replace it with brush breezes through
cleansers to actually a sweet and fruity smell. knots for pain- and
get you fresh). Secret Freshies in Chill Ocean, $5, drugstores damage-free
Love Beauty and Planet detangling, and it
Radical Refresher Showerless comes with a genius
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lovebeautyandplanet.com
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flexible bristles.
Tangle Teezer Pineapple
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Stick It to Your
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Dissolve all that grime
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St. Ives Rose Water and
Bamboo Cleansing Stick, $8, ANRUI Clear
target.com Toiletry Bags,
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These hair-blotting
sheets soak up oil
and sweat like a
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IGK Swipe Up Charcoal Dry

J E F F R E Y W E S T B R O O K / S T U D I O D. S T Y L I S T: S A R A H G U I D O - L A A K S O F O R H A L L E Y R E S O U R C E S .
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

94
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WELLNESS

One-Move Workout +
Wanna be extra?
Holding a five-pound
The Wood dumbbell with both
hands makes your core
work even harder.
Chopper
Let rock-star Flywheel instructor
and certified personal trainer
EMILY FAYETTE (@TheHealthyHustle)
show you how to fire up (and tone up!) Stand with Swing your
your abs with a simple twist. your feet arms back up
shoulder- toward your
width apart, left shoulder,
hips and toes twisting your
facing for- upper body to
ward. Place the left.
your left fist
on top of your That’s 1 rep.
right fist, and Do 3 sets of
raise them 15 reps on each
above your side, 3 times
left shoulder, per week.
with elbows
bent and your
torso twisted
to the left.

Without

B E N R I T T E R . FA S H I O N E D I T O R : G A B R I E L L E P O R C A R O. H A I R : N AT E R O S E N K R A N Z F O R N O. 4 H A I R C A R E AT H O N E Y A R T I S T S .
pausing,

M A K EU P : D A N A R A E A S H B U R N / D A N A R A E A S H B U R N .C O M . G Y M S H A R K T O P, G Y M S H A R K .C O M . B E YO N D YO G A L E G G I N G S ,
sweep your
fists down
toward your
right shin,
bending your
right knee to
45 degrees
and twisting
your core to
the right.

B E YO N DYO G A .C O M . A D I D A S W O M E N ’ S R U N N I N G S N E A K E R S , A D I D A S .C O M .

SNAP NOW,
SWEAT
LATER!
Take a pic
of this move
to bring to
the gym.

E M I LY ’ S E X E R C I S E I N S P O
P R E - S W E AT M E A L “I love a baked sweet potato with almond butter because it’s got just a little bit
of sweetness and carbs that energize me.”
P L AY L I S T J A M “‘Touch the Sky,’ by Big Gigantic, has great peaks that help me push harder.”
G Y M H A I R “Braids keep my hair out of my face and are way more fun than the basic pony!”

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

96
Ordinary
Eggs?
Not in this
house.
Break out the best flavor for your family’s breakfast with
new Kraft Expertly Paired Cheddar and Swiss made for eggs.

© 2018 Kraft Foods


How to
Be Young and
in Charge

TFW you have


no idea what a
HBIC does...
GET T Y IMAGES.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

99
WORK

THE
OFFICIAL
DELISH
COOKBOOK
As cray-town as it may seem, in
the not-too-distant future, you
could find yourself being the boss.
In fact, according to a recent
CareerBuilder survey, 38 percent
of U.S. workers already report to
someone younger than them-
selves, up from 34 percent in 2012.
But just because you’re more
likely to become the HBIC of your
peers or elders, that doesn’t mean
you can shortcut the skills needed
to oversee a team. And when
being at the top is totally new, you
might be afraid to ask for help,
says Linda A. Hill, PhD, a Harvard
Business School professor and
the author of Becoming a Manager.
You could also develop impostor
syndrome, meaning you may
not feel like you deserve the clout.
To prep for that climb up the COME FOR THE FOOD,
career ladder—or to kick even more
butt if you’ve already hopped up STAY FOR THE FUN!
From the wildly popular digital food
Set Boundaries start-up Bulletin (she
You know those gossip became a boss for the brand, Delish.com, comes its first-ever
sessions you and your first time at age 24). Sure, cookbook, DELISH: Eat Like Every Day’s
coworkers have about you might socialize at a the Weekend. The book is jam-packed
the swole UPS guy? company happy hour or a with 275+ recipes and ideas that are
Yeah, those days are over. mutual friend’s birthday meant to be shared and devoured.
When you’re the boss, party, but decide early on
your relationships with that you won’t cross lines.
colleagues need to shift So no getting wasted in ON SALE EVERYWHERE
just a bit. “Create param- front of your team or
eters by trying not to talking shit. These self- OCTOBER 16.
hang out with your staff imposed guidelines will
outside work,” says Ali set the precedent that
Kriegsman, cofounder you’re a supervisor, not a
and COO of retail beer-pong bud.

By Dayna Evans
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Model the Behavior
You Want to See
“Every day, you set examples,”
says Amanda Bradford, who
started the dating app
The League when she turned
29. Conduct yourself in ways
you want your employees
to. Example: If you call in
sick after a night of too many
margs (that you totally Insta
Story-ed), your colleagues are
going to feel like they have per-
mission to do that too. Or if you
scroll through e-mails and zone
out during meetings, others
may also feel okay about whip-
ping out their phones. Be aware
of your actions and that peeps
might take their cues from you.
THE ONE
“Build
a team
Get Comfy With THING
I’D TELL MY full
Awkward Convos YOUNGER BOSS of stake-
You know how sweaty your SELF… holders.
hands get when a supervisor No matter the title or
says you need to have a chat? task, make every Don’t Act Like a
Well, turns out, bosses get employee feel proud Know-It-All
super nervous about these and purposeful It rocks that you’re killing it as
every single day.”
talks too! Now that you’re the a youngin’, but not everyone
person who has to lay down you manage—particularly
the law or, worse, fire some- “Embrace your those older than you—will see
one, practice having these cautious side. —Stephanie Ruhle, it that way. To keep potential
challenging exchanges before I’ve always been a rule an anchor of backlash in check, make
MSNBC Live and
you do one IRL. Ask your follower with a low a correspondent staffers feel valued by asking
HR department for pointers on tolerance for risk, and for at NBC News them for advice. When you
what to say (and what not to a while, I saw this as a acknowledge their experience
negative trait I needed to
say) before the meeting, advises overcome. Now I realize and give them due credit, it
Georgene Huang, CEO and it’s a strength.” fosters partnership instead of
cofounder of the career develop- resentment. Also, limit those
ment site Fairygodboss. super age-specific references or
Another tip: Have these talks “Ask at least give them context for
in private, says Kriegsman. Be questions. your quips. “A millennial might
—Merrill Stubbs, You don’t know
honest, direct, and clear about cofounder and everything and nobody inadvertently alienate someone
your expectations. Try saying president of older by bringing up something
Food52, a website for
expects you to! When
this out loud: “You’ve been home enthusiasts people are being managed, not everyone understands,”
late every day this week, and we they count on you says Huang. So when you want
need you to be a productive to be honest. Teams will to gush over your fave beauty
GET T Y IMAGES.

climb mountains
member of this group. If I can’t for someone they blogger’s contouring skills
rely on you, we may need to start —Crystal Spates,
production trust.” on Snap, save it for your friend
thinking about your future here.” manager at Tesla group’s text thread. Q

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

104
INTRODUCING

INSPIRED BY INSTINCT.

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PRESENTED BY PLEDGE®

The first rule of adulting is owning it,


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for a job well done. Start with these
tips for beautifying the home you’ve
worked so hard to create—and do
yourself proud before guests even
walk through the door.

1 2 3 4 5
SHINE ON SAFE NOT COMMON WORKING PRETTY NEAT
Illuminate furniture, SORRY SCENTS ORDER Take charge of clutter with
appliances, and more While polishing can protect, Whether you prefer an old- Stuck front door? Tricky toilet clever storage solutions that
for a bright and remember trivets, coasters, fashioned apple pie in the oven, handle? If something is are as attractive as they are
always-welcoming place mats, and area rugs are candles, or refreshing lemon- broken, fix it. Before you call useful. Think colorful lidded
vibe. Pledge® Lemon also your friends! In addition scented cleaning products, home in a pro, watch an online boxes to stash bills and
Enhancing Polish is to serving as stylish seasonal fragrance is always a good idea. tutorial and give DIY a try. paperwork, an embossed tray
a fast, easy way to accents, they offer tables and Still, the goal is to eliminate stale Best-case scenario: you get for remote controls and
improve the floors must-have extra and icky odors, not just mask to show off your handiwork. magazines, and a pegboard for
appearance of most protection from hot dishes, them, so deodorize sink and Worst-case scenario: you get kitchen essentials. When
hard surfaces by removing dust drink rings, and damaging shower drains, change the cat’s a funny story to share around you’ve got the right containers
and fingerprints and providing a scratches (while offering bonus litter, and sniff out any other the table. on hand, you’ll even impress
protective, glossy coating without peace of mind for you!). problem areas. yourself with what you can
leaving a waxy buildup. hide in plain sight!

D I S COV E R M O R E WAY S TO I M P R E S S YO U R S E L F AT P L E D G E .CO M


Take your balls
south of the
border with this Tex-Mex
fiery recipe from Meatballs

Delish’s yummy
1½ lbs. ground beef
2 c. shredded Mexican
cheese blend
cookbook. ½ c. panko bread crumbs

A D A P T E D F R O M D E L I S H © 2 0 1 8 J O A N N A S A LT Z A N D T H E E D I T O R S O F D E L I S H . P H O T O G R A P H B Y E T H A N C A L A B R E S E . R E P R O D U C E D B Y P E R M I S S I O N O F H O U G H T O N M I F FL I N H A R C O U R T. A L L R I G H T S R E S E R V E D.
2½ T chopped parsley
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 t. ground cumin
1 jalapeño, finely chopped
1 large egg
1½ t. kosher salt
1 t. ground black pepper
1 T extra-virgin olive oil
½ large white onion, chopped
1 15-oz. can crushed
tomatoes
2 T chopped chipotle chilies
in adobo sauce
Add beef, 1 cup cheese,
bread crumbs, 2 tablespoons
parsley, garlic, cumin,
jalapeño, egg, salt, and
pepper to a bowl. Mix until
combined, then form into
2-inch-diameter meatballs.
(You should end up with 16.)
Heat oil in a large skillet
over medium-high heat. Add
meatballs in a single layer,
and sear 2 minutes per side.
Transfer to a plate.
Add onion to skillet, and
stir for 5 minutes, until soft.
Stir in tomatoes and chilies,
and bring mixture to a boil.
Reduce heat to medium
low, and return meatballs
to skillet. Cover and simmer
until meatballs are cooked
through, about 10 minutes.
Top with remaining
cheese, and cover for
2 minutes. Garnish with
remaining parsley, and serve.

scan to shop

Adapted from Delish: Eat Like


Every Day’s the Weekend, by
Joanna Saltz and the editors of
Open your Amazon App Delish, $20, amazon.com
Tap the camera icon
Choose SmileCode
Scan to shop!

108
WORK + PLAY

3 Paying Up Front
Will Motivate You
Ponying up cash in advance for,
say, a fancy gym membership
won’t always light a fire under your
butt. “We spend money some-
times for the person we want to
be, not who we actually are,” says
certified financial planner Bobbi
Rebell, host of the Financial
Grownup podcast. Analyze your
expenses to see what’s worth
keeping in your budget based on
how important it is to you and how
likely you are to follow through.

4 You Can’t Negotiate


a First Salary
In a recent survey, 68 percent of
women accepted their first-ever
salary offer sans negotiating,
compared to 52 percent of men.
Consider this your new rule: At any
point in your career, ask for at least
around $5,000 more than the
initial proposal—yes, even if it’s for
a junior position, says Erika Rasure,
PhD, an assistant professor of
business and financial services at
Maryville University. “They’ve
already offered for you. The worst
they can do is say no.”

6 Money 5
Checking Your
Credit Score Hurts
Your Credit Score

Myths to Ditch
It’s harmless to look it up, says
Imbeault. Use a free site such as
Credit Karma to see your number
once a month—or whenever.
There’s no penalty or downside,
even if trying to get a loan has
you checking your score 24/7.
1 Being “Bad at 2 Credit Cards Always Just keep in mind that most
Math” Means You Lead to Major Debt lenders want to see a number
Can’t Be Good at Money It’s true that people who ignore higher than 670.
Even if you suck at numbers, count- their balances can spiral into
ing on your parents or partner to black holes of high-interest debt,
but if you train yourself to spend 6
Deals Are Better
track your budget is a bad idea. No
one will care about the future you responsibly, there’s no need to IRL Than Online
more than current you, so take the fear the plastic itself. In fact, Set up a Google alert (e.g.,
time to learn about your moola. using a credit card can help you “[brand name] + boot sale”) to
A R T H U R B E L E B E AU/ T R U N K A R C H I V E .

Invest 10 minutes a week to build up good credit, something find out when sites drop prices,
expand your financial knowledge, you’ll need down the road to, for or keep the item you’re coveting
suggests Jenn Imbeault,vice example, rent or buy a home. in your e-cart. The retailer will see
president financial consultant at Start smart by signing up for a that you’re wavering and might
Fidelity Investments. Start by charge card with rewards such as sweeten the deal with a discount
following investing platform travel miles or cash-back or free shipping, says Rebell. You
Ellevest’s online magazine for tips benefits, says Imbeault. Only can also download the Honey
on saving and articles from its whip it out for stuff you know you app, which automatically applies
cofounder Sallie Krawcheck. can pay off that month. coupons to your total. Q

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Taylor Andrews

110
Whiskey PLAY

Is the New
Wine TIPPLING TIP
Like your spirits
smooth and cold? Invest
in a king-cube ice tray.
The big blocks will
dilute your drink slowly
and keep it chilly until
the last drop.

Join Your Drink It Straight


Sipping Sisters Beginners should
The potent potion made pour one shot of booze
by aging fermented and into any kind of glass
distilled grains (wheat, and drink it neat, which
rye, corn, or barley) in means sans water or
wooden casks has been mixers. “It’s hard to
around for centuries— know if you really like a
with a mostly male fan certain whiskey if it’s
base. No longer! A new buried in a fancy cock-
slew of female distillers tail,” says Parc. (If your
and sippers is proving first mouthful ends up
that whiskey isn’t just a being too strong, add
dude thing and doesn’t a few drops of water.)
need to be intimidating.
Savor Every
Take It Slow Flavor
If you’ve never had a Hover your nose The Whiskey-pedia
drop before (Jack-and- above your glass and
Cokes don’t count!), inhale, then take a small Bourbon Rye Scotch Irish
pick a bottle with a sip, swish the liquid The mostly Think of it as Crafted only in Triple-distilled
lower alcohol content around in your mouth, corn-based bourbon’s Scotland, it’s for extra
(listed as alcohol by and swallow. “Look for U.S. whiskey is very peppery most known drinkability,
volume, or ABV), says that moment when on the sweeter cousin, for its super- Irish whiskey
SAM K APL AN/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

side, says Old created with a smoky taste has a light


Allison Parc, founder of your taste buds are like Forester minimum of and potency and clean
Brenne Whisky. Ones ahh,” says Mel Heim, Bourbon’s 51 percent rye (ABVs as high flavor, perfect
marked 40 percent ABV, EVP of operations Jackie Zykan. grains. as the 60s!). for novices.
usually the lowest and master distiller at
concentration, tend to Eastside Distilling.
be softer and more
approachable.

By Taylor Andrews

112
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PLAY

Cosmo-fy Your Space


1. Nova Ladder Book-
case, $240. 2. Scarlett
1 2-Piece Nesting Tables,
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man, $280. 4. Juliette
Glass Top Coffee Table,
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6. Amelie Power Loom
Ivory/Light Blue Area
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2
4 5

3
Give your crib a

Lexington
Armchair, $300

Ellis
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Eloise
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

114
CONSIDER YOUR MOUTH
#BLESSED

Orbit White Gum Helps Keep Teeth White*


BY
MARIELLE
WAKIM

PHOTOGRAPHED BY
VICTOR
DEMARCHELIER

FASHION EDITOR
YASHUA
SIMMONS

K E E P I N G
U P
W I T H

With her seventh


album about to drop,
the sizzling singer/
dancer seems to
have it all but wants
more because “no
dream is too big.”
Here, she talks to
Cosmo about faith,
fitness, and her
husband’s “goodies.”

116
This page: Kathryn
McCarron
dress. Opposite
page: Stella
McCartney jacket
and pants.
Versace heels
Tom Ford
dress

B E AU T Y
TIP
Show off your
sexy assets: your
cheekbones! Try
the Diorskin Nude
Luminizer #003
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L AST PERSON I TEXTED:


For someone who rocketed into the news show. “I don’t remember why I didn’t go
public eye at age 19, cycled (somewhat to school, but I remember that day,” she says.
“They were killing it, and I just went, This is
contentiously) through a number of what I want to do. I’m gonna be an entertainer.”
record labels, and went through a very And while millions of teens admired young
public, scandalous breakup with the Beyoncé as she crooned about “bug a boos”
and clubs full of ballers, Ciara did more than gaze
rapper Future, Ciara is remarkably joyful. longingly at the stage. She sat down and made a
Levelheaded. Optimistic. Projecting list—old-school style, pen to paper—of how she
planned to score superstar status. “The first goal
some serious serene goddess vibes. But I wrote down was to get discovered,” she remem-
don’t get it twisted. Although she’s earned bers. “The second was to sell 3 to 4 million records.
it, she’s not content to sit back and relax. Third, have longevity.” Call her an overachiever—
at this point, she’s sold 23 million albums and been
“Every day’s a blur,” she says. “There’s so much in the music business for more than a decade.
happening when you have two kids and work.” It wasn’t some magic genie who granted her
Right now, the 32-year-old spends most of her days fame and success—it was sheer willpower
in Bellevue, Washington, where she and her hottie and talent. And perhaps just a little help from
Super Bowl–champ husband, Russell Wilson, live above, she says. “Faith has been the thing that’s
with her 4-year-old son and their 18-month-old carried me through. I’ve had moments when
daughter. She splits time between family days at I’ve been in the shower crying to myself. In the
the Seattle Seahawks’ training camp and basking toughest moments, I would say to God, Thank
in the success of “Level Up” and “Freak Me,” two you in advance. I would just declare it because
singles off her new album (their videos launched a I know He’s going to get me out of this moment.”
pair of viral dance challenges on Instagram). She’s That said, Ciara herself has continuously per-
also been deep in tour-prep mode. formed a magic trick of sorts: She’s made celibacy
And then there was her recent post-baby sound...sexy. Take “Goodies,” her breakout 2004
fitness routine: up to three workouts a day. “It was single, which music insiders have called the femi-
kind of like, wake up in the morning, breastfeed, nine answer to Usher’s “Yeah!” Some may assume
eat a small meal, go train, come back in, breast- the song is about the art of playing hard to get,
feed, eat another meal, go train, then come back, but it’s not. Listen closely, and you’ll notice all the
have another meal, and then a third training ses- subtle and unexpected nods to chastity...almost
sion at night,” she says, adding carefully: “It was a as if she were saving herself for marriage.
good challenge, one I set for myself, not for anyone Ten years later, Ciara wound up doing exactly
else. Taking care of myself makes me feel really that. After her relationship with Future came
good. And I want to keep it sexy too, you know.” to an end in 2014, Ciara sat down to write
So yeah, Ciara is not sitting back at all—and another list. This time, the newly single mom
truth be told, this is a woman who has been jotted down exactly what she was looking
operating at turbo speed since girlhood. It started for in a partner. In less than a year, thanks to
when she was 14 and still going by her full name, what some would call serendipity and Ciara
Ciara Princess Harris. While playing hooky would call fate, she hooked up with Russell.
one day in Decatur, Georgia, she happened to She fell hard and quickly but had also learned
catch Destiny’s Child performing on a morning from her past. With this boo, Ciara didn’t hide

AND IT SAID: ADVICE I WOULD GIVE MY 20 -YEAR- OLD SELF:

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

119
FICTIONAL CHAR ACTER
behind wink-wink lyrics—she and Russell were I ’ D MAKE OUT WITH:
famously vocal about practicing abstinence until
they tied the knot in an effort to “do it Jesus’s
way,” as he once put it. (They may have even
sparked a music-biz trend. Former Destiny’s
Child member Michelle Williams recently made B E AU T Y
the same pledge with her fiancé.) Ciara and TIP
Russell seemingly pulled it off. The morning FIRST WORD THAT
For a one, two
after their 2016 wedding, the two dished about COMES TO MIND WHEN I
step smoky
how much fun they had taking the goodies out THINK OF THI S PERSON:
eye, pat on
of the jar in a series of Snapchat videos. Maybelline New
“It definitely was a huge challenge because York Eyestudio
I look at my husband and go, ‘Ooh!’” she says of ColorTattoo
holding off on sex. “I’m human…we’re human! 24HR Cream Gel
But the cool thing about us is that we’re equally TIFFANY B RU N O
Eye Shadow in
HAD DI SH MARS
yoked.” (For the uninitiated, that’s biblical speak Tough as Taupe,
for being fully connected on a spiritual level. $7, and blend.
See? Ciara can even add sex appeal to the literal
Bible.) “It makes a difference when you share
the same views,” she continues. “We were able
to be lock and step from day one.”
CARD I B RIHANNA
Not everyone sees the beauty in Ciara’s roman-
tic choices. The couple’s decision to stay celibate
drew shade from the internet’s never-ending
supply of armchair relationship experts. Earlier
this year, the rapper Slim Thug asked the (unso-
licited) question of whether “a woman who used TAYLO R DEMI
to talk to Future [could] really want a Russell SWIFT

Wilson” and went on to call Russell “a corny dude”


and “a square.” Ciara simply doesn’t have time
to get into it with trolls. “When someone comes
for you and you didn’t send for them, you keep
your eye on the prize,” she says. “I know what my
D R AKE
mission is. I know what I’m hoping for and work-
ing hard for every day. And that’s my focus. I’m
not going to let people steal my joy. I move on. MY FAVORITE
New day, new opportunity, new energy, let’s go.”
And go she has: Ciara has quietly become one
of the music industry’s most unusual success
stories. Think of her as a nouveau Janet Jackson. TURN - OFFS:
She’s so sure of herself and her strengths that
reinventing her brand is neither necessary
nor an option. Sure, some of her famous peers
have more Twitter followers, more Grammys.
Schott jacket.
But it’s also possible that Ciara is after something Heron Preston
even larger. “I never thought, I can’t be because shorts. Sarah
Chloe ring
of the color of my skin, I can’t be because
of my gender,” she says. “No dream is too big.” TURN - ON S: Hair: Cesar
Ramirez using
Which is why, she says, it’s time for yet WildForm at
another goal list. “I want to be a billionaire. The crowdMGMT.
Makeup: Yolonda
more resources, the more you can do. But I think Frederick using
my greatest accomplishment 10 years from now EX1 Cosmetics at
crowdMGMT.
is that I would have a successful life as it per- Manicure: Miho
tains to my marriage and being a mom. It’s cool Okawara.
See page 153 for
to want to do all these creative things, but it’s no shopping
good to gain the world if you lose your soul.” Q information.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

120
ALL OTHER IMAGES: GET T Y IMAGES.
S E X I E S T

E V E R

You won’t want to


keep your hands
to yourself when your
nails look this hot.
By Maddie Aberman

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

122
NOT
JUST THE TIP
Who says the design needs
to stop at the nail’s edge?
Cuticle art (it’s a thing,
trust!) is the hottest way
to take your manicure
to the next level.

G O L O N G E R
Want more than a quick fling with your nail art? Try this pro-approved trick: Reapply a fresh, thin
layer of top coat every three or four days to protect your design from chips (we like Chanel Le Top Coat, $28).
Less is more though. Too many thick layers will have the opposite effect.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

124
GOLD
MEMBER
Cop that Insta-famous
Midas mani for fingers
so reflective, you
can catch yourself
drooling.
S L A Y
YOUR
NAILFIE
1

PREP YOUR
SKIN
Nail art puts your
hands on display. A
hydrating cuticle oil
(such as CND Solar-
Oil, $8.50) sealed
with hand cream (try
Skinfix Hand Repair
Cream, $15) will make
your skin soft, glowy,
and camera ready.

FIND YOUR
BEST LIGHT
“Lighting makes
or breaks a pic-
ture,” says mani
pro and Instagram
queen Steph Stone
(@StephStoneNails).
“Natural light is the
most flattering, so I
take my photos dur-
ing the day, outside
or by a window—
never after the sun
goes down.”

P H O T O G R A P H E D B Y P H I L L I P J E L E N S K A . N A I L A R T I S T: C H R I S T O P H E R KO L L E R . H A N D M O D E L : D A L I A L . / W E I N E R
STRIKE A

M O D E L S . M A L E M O D E L : M A R I O LO N C A R S K I / W E I N E R M O D E L S . S T I L L L I F E : J E F F R E Y W E S T B R O O K / S T U D I O D ;
POSE

S T Y L I S T: S A R A H G U I D O - L A A K S O F O R H A L L E Y R E S O U R C E S . S E E PA G E 1 5 3 F O R S H O P P I N G I N F O R M AT I O N .
Experiment to find a
position that shows
off your hands best.
“For me, it’s folding
my fingers over my
palm, with my
pinkie resting lightly
on my ring finger,”
says Stone. “My
followers named it
The Pretty Pose.”

4
GRAPHIC
CONTENT EDIT LIKE
A PRO
Like a black leather Stone’s go-to photo
jacket, a geometric mani app is Camera+.
is the coolest (and She likes to adjust
most timeless) way the lighting or apply
to rock nail art. the Chrome filter
at 50 percent to
make the colors pop.
“It’s so pretty yet
natural looking,”
she says.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

126
Essie Concrete Glit-
ters Collection polish
in Can’t Stop Her in
the Copper, $9
GOLD MEMBER
STEP 1 Brush on a base of black.
STEP 2 While the black is slightly
tacky, dip the pad of one finger into
gold chrome nail powder, then buff it
over the polish until it’s totally covered.
Repeat if needed. STEP 3 Seal the
OPI Nail Lacquer molten effect with a special top coat
in March in (Essence Cosmetics Metal Shock
Uniform, $10.50 Sealing Top Coat, $4), then
brush away excess pig-
ment when dry.

YSL La Laque
Couture in Noir
TWO-TIMER Overnoir, $28
STEP 1 Prep nails with a coat
of navy blue. STEP 2 Paint the
bottom of your nails with a gold
glitter, stopping about halfway up.
STEP 3 Cover the top half in a silver
glitter, then lightly tap the
polish brush over the edge
of the gold glitter to help Essence
blend the two for an Cosmetics Metal
ombré effect. Shock Nail
Powder in A Touch
Deborah of Vintage, $4
Lippmann Nail
Color in Dream
Weaver, $18

Essie Con-
crete Glitters
Collection
polish in Stay
Up Slate, $9

NOT JUST THE TIP


Sally Hansen STEP 1 Cover the area around your
Color Therapy in cuticle to your first knuckle in clear lash
Diffused Light, $9 glue (try Duo Striplash Adhesive Clear,
$6.50). STEP 2 Once it’s almost clear (it’ll
start out white), sprinkle on holographic
glitter for a scattered edge. STEP 3
NYX Professional Remove any specks from the nail itself,
Makeup Metallic then paint on a fuchsia polish and
Glitter in Beauty
Beam, $6.50
a matte top coat, such as Essie
GRAPHIC CONTENT Matte About You Top
STEP 1 Cover nails in a sandy Coat, $9.
nude. STEP 2 Once dry, paint a deep
olive from cuticle to tip at an angle.
Repeat on the other side to make a
V (clean up edges with a small brush
dipped in nail polish remover).
STEP 3 Using just the edge of the
polish brush, trace an oil-spill hue
across the free edge of your
Chanel Le nail to create a micro
Vernis Longwear French tip.
Nail Colour in
Dior Vernis in
Garçonne, $28
Lucky, $28
Put
On
a
Fresh

Check
Yourself in
a Big Way
The traditional
print looks even better
when magnified.

Stella McCartney coat.


Pyer Moss jacket. Fashion editor
What Goes Around Comes
Around jeans and bandanna. Yashua
Moeva bra. Streets
Ahead belt. El Paso Booty boots.
Shearling! Plaid! Puffers! Simmons
Photographed by
Chrome Hearts bracelet
(worn throughout). Closer by A dose of Western flair adds fierceness Daniel
Wwake earrings. Rockmount
Ranch Wear collar tips to every style of outerwear. Matallana

128
It’s Raining
Men(swear)
Inspired by bae’s
tailored coat
but in a sultry burgundy
with a looser fit

Salvatore Ferragamo coat.


Stylist’s own shirt.
Double D Ranch Western chaps.
What Goes Around Comes
Around jeans and bandanna.
Rockmount Ranch Wear belt.
Closer by Wwake earrings.
Above + Bolo black bracelet
(worn throughout)

Living for this location?


Check out Nevada’s
Neon Museum,
the retirement community
of classic Vegas signs.
The New
City Slicker
Didn’t think an anorak
could be sexy? Try one
in fiery orange.

R13 jacket. Chrome Hearts


denim shirt. What Goes Around
Comes Around jeans and belt.
Above + Bolo necklace.
Ariat boots. Rockmount Ranch
Wear collar tips. Closer by Wwake
earrings. Stetson hat
Go for Shear
Strength
Trade in your moto jacket
for a trucker style with a soft
and cuddly lining.

Polo Ralph Lauren jacket.


Billy Los Angeles top. Brunello
Cucinelli pants. Ariat boots.
Above + Bolo necklace.
Chrome Hearts bandanna.
Marni earrings. Coach 1941
ring (worn throughout)

Beauty Tip!
Make your skin glow
like neon. Just swipe on
Maybelline New York
FaceStudio Master
Strobing Stick Illuminating
Highlighter in Light/
Iridescent, $10.

131
Grin and
Bear It
Upgrade last year’s
teddy coat with fringe and
patchwork details.

Coach 1941 coat. Streets


Ahead belt. 3x1 shorts. Chrome
Hearts bandanna. Ariat boots.
Marni earrings

132
Beauty Tip!
For hair that’s a little
bit country and a lot
rock and roll, spray
on L’Oréal Paris
Advanced Hairstyle
Boost It Air-Blown
Texture Mist, $5.
Then wrap your bun
in a bandanna.

Miss
Mix-a-Lot
Shake things up
with a so-wild-it-works
print hybrid.

Toga jacket. Streets


Ahead belt. Marni earrings.
What Goes Around Comes
Around bandanna
The Ultimate
Puff Piece
You may have to leave
the sofa, but you can ’fit
yourself in a coat that mimics
your fave furniture.

Mary Katrantzou x Moose


Knuckles bomber. Calvin Klein
Jeans shirt and jeans. Streets
Ahead red belt. Polo
Ralph Lauren belt. What Goes
Around Comes Around
blue bandanna. Chrome Hearts
red bandanna. Marni earrings

Hair: DJ Quintero at Statement


Artists. Makeup: Christian
McCulloch at Streeters using Dior
Beauty. Manicure: Hannah
But with LeiV Agency.
Model: Britt Maren/Supreme.
Location: The Neon Museum,
Las Vegas. See page 153 for
shopping information.
1
The Puffer
3
The Hybrid

2
The Teddy

4
The Tailored
5The
Look Plaid

There’s nothing boring


about this season’s wardrobe
of standout coats. 7
The Shearling
Trucker

1. Tna for Aritzia puffer, $250, aritzia.com.


2. Tularosa coat, $228, revolve.com.
Ariat belt, $110, ariat.com. 3. River Island blazer, $150,
us.riverisland.com. 4. Mango coat, $150, mango.com.
5. Topshop coat, $170, topshop.com.

6
The
6. Hunter vinyl jacket, $175, hunterboots.com.
7. Levi’s faux-leather jacket, $100, kohls.com

Anorak

135
Right now, your contraception
is under attack, with politicians looking
to make it way more expensive
and much harder to get. If they succeed,
American women will
suffer a devastating setback.

BY JENNIFER GERSON &


ASHLEY OERMAN

PHOTO GR A PH E D BY
J A M I E C H U NG

136
WILL IT
BECOM E
T H E U LT I M AT E
L U X U RY ?
Introduction by
Michele Promaulayko,
editor-in-chief
of Cosmopolitan

WHEN I
WAS 16,
I DECIDED
TO GET
ON BIRTH
CONTROL.

My high school boyfriend


and I were chomping at the bit
to do the deed, and I wanted
to act responsibly (high-five to
my teenage self!). Back then, for
me, that meant taking the Pill.
And since I had less-than-zero
intention of sharing my desire to
become sexually active with my
busy single mom, I hightailed
it to a Planned Parenthood in a
neighboring New Jersey town.
There, a doctor discussed my
options with me, conducted a
pelvic exam—my first—and dis-
pensed a prescription. It was a
seamless, formative experience.
Fast-forward to today. While
a slew of women (some of them
peers I know and admire) have
bravely, publicly acknowledged
that they’ve had abortions, I have
a different confession: I’ve never
been pregnant. A big reason
is that I’ve had easy access to
affordable birth control.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

138
STEP

Why am I revealing this non-


news? Because while much of
the reproductive-rights conver-
who can’t get birth control through
insurance. (For the record, abor-
tions make up just 3 percent of PP’s
1
services, and they are almost never
sation is centered on abortion, paid for with federal tax dollars.)
the Trump administration is
also waging war on your birth
Make it easier for employers Assess
control—the very thing that pre-
and schools to refuse to cover
birth control for any moral or
Your
vents the need for an abortion. religious reason, putting hun- Risk
Like me, 99 percent of dreds of thousands of people at risk Check the
women who have had sex have for steep out-of-pocket costs. boxes that apply
used birth control at some At the same time, the admin- to you. The more
point. And currently, more istration is appointing Supreme you tick off,
the higher your
than 62 million are getting it Court justices who could ensure chances of
for free. (That’s largely thanks these plans become law. If that losing access to
to the 2010 Affordable Care happens, birth control could affordable birth
Act, or ACA—which requires cost American women at least control. None
health insurers to fully cover all $1.4 billion more every year! seem relevant?
Great, you can
FDA-approved forms of con- Over the past half century, still help others
traception—and to clinics such contraception has been (see page 146).
as Planned Parenthood that crucial to women’s advance-
receive government funding ment, which is why it needs to I don’t have
health
for “family planning services.”) remain accessible and cost-free insurance.
This has helped the teen and rather than a financial burden.
unintended pregnancy rates (This isn’t even remotely contro- I don’t qualify
for Medicaid
drop to historic lows. versial: 96 percent of American (aka the
But that could all change… voters support contraception government
and it has already begun. “We access.) Yet government officials program for
people with low
are seeing a deeply concerning are trying to halt or, worse, incomes).
attack on access to affordable, eradicate this progress.
high-quality contraceptive “The message from the I have health
insurance
care,” says Kinsey Hasstedt, administration on birth control through my
senior policy manager at the is, ‘You’re on your own,’” says religion-
Guttmacher Institute, a Susan Inman, a chief counsel affiliated
workplace or
research and policy organiza- at the Center for Reproductive school (e.g.,
tion committed to advancing Rights. Adds Rachel Fey, direc- I work for a
sexual and reproductive health tor of public policy at Power to Catholic
university or a
and rights. Since last year, the Decide, a campaign to prevent church). Or it
government has made moves to: unplanned pregnancy: “This is seems like my
real. Alarm bells need to ring. employer
Kill the ACA and gut Title X, opposes birth
I’ve been doing this for 18 years, control for
a federal program that funds free or and this is the greatest number “moral”
cheap contraception for some 4 mil- reasons.
lion low-income women (a majority of threats I’ve seen in my career.”
are under 30 years old and more If this is all sounding a little I get my BC
than 60 percent are women of too Handmaid’s Tale, keep from Planned
color). Title X helps prevent more reading. Cosmo debriefed top Parenthood
than 800,000 unintended pregnan- or another
experts for advice on how to publicly funded
cies a year, which would otherwise
result in close to 300,000 abortions. stop the erosion of your birth- clinic.
control access. I hope you’ll join
Eliminate federal funding I live in a rural
me in letting politicians know area or “red”
for orgs such as Planned Parent-
hood. This would mean fewer clin- that we see what’s happen- state.
ics, longer drives, endless wait ing and we’re not forfeiting our
I don’t own a
times, or no access at all for those reproductive rights. car or have
access to one.
78% of American voters don’t think employers
should be able to deny birth-control coverage. I pretty much
SOURCE: 2017 PERRYUNDEM SURVEY
The amount live paycheck
annual costs to paycheck.

$1.4 billion
for the Pill alone
could soar
SOURCE: 2015 HEALTH
AFFAIRS STUDY
STEP 1 A S SE S S YOU R R I SK

The United
States of Washington, D.C.
“I’m a resident

Birth Control
adviser [at a Jesuit
school], and when
freshmen ask me,
‘Can I get my birth
As the federal government aims to restrict access, some states are
rushing to expand it. A guide to bright spots and danger zones. control prescribed
here?’ I tell them
‘Yes, but you have to
Great States Doing Good Things for You say it’s for cramps or
Certain ones now require all FDA-approved forms of
acne, not sex.’ That
birth control be fully covered by state-regulated
— — — — students have to lie is
Places That Grab 12
insurers. So even if the ACA dies, local women’s free BC
may not. Meanwhile, other states have passed laws
Have Your
Birth Control’s
Months’
Worth of the heartbreaking to me.”
allowing patients to get 12 months of birth-control pills Back Pill Here —Leslie, 20, sophomore at
at once, sparing them frequent pickups (and reducing CA DC DE CA CO CT Georgetown University
IL MA MD ME DC DE HI IL
unintended pregnancy rates by up to 30 percent). NV NY MA MD ME
OR VT WA NH NV NY OR
RI VA VT
WA

MARYLAND
GETS IT
It was the first
to mandate that
state-regulated
insurers cover
birth control (even
before the ACA)
and as of this year
also covers
Alabama vasectomies and
OTC emergency
“I got a Pill prescription at my college health center, but I’d miss a day contraception.

or two if I couldn’t get a ride to Walgreens every month. There are


not many places in Alabama to get an implant, so I got one for free at
Planned Parenthood in my home state over Christmas. I have to get it
replaced in January. I’m nervous. What if my access disappears?”
—Kayla, 21, senior at University of South Alabama

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

140
Places
At-Risk Women
GO, Remain
UTAH!
The state recently Stranded
passed a bill
that provides
more low-income
Only a handful of — —
states still haven’t Don’t Count
women with free expanded Medicaid on Any Sort
BC. The push coverage or used a of Birth
came from a GOP Control Safety
politician (who’s family-planning Net in This
also an MD). program to at least Non-Fab Five
offer free contracep- ID KS NE
tion to cash-strapped SD TN
citizens who don’t
qualify for Medicaid.
Where Pharmacists
Can Reject You
On the rise: reports — —
of pharmacists Here,
declining to Pharmacists
dispense birth Can Refuse
control because of to Fill
Your Script
personal beliefs. In AL AR AZ DE
13 states, they GA ID MS
can flat out refuse to NC NY OR PA
SD TX
honor your
prescription. In
six, they can even — —
And Here,
hold on to or return They Could
I N F O G R A P H I C B Y C ATA LO G T R E E . S O U R C E S : G U T T M A C H E R I N S T I T U T E , H E N R Y J . K A I S E R FA M I LY F O U N D AT I O N , N AT I O N A L W O M E N ’ S L AW C E N T E R ,

an Rx instead Hijack or
of referring it to Return the Rx
someone else, AR AZ GA ID
MS SD
potentially forcing
P L A N N E D PA R E N T H O O D, P O W E R T O D E C I D E , S TAT E I N N O VAT I O N E XC H A N G E , U. S . D E PA R T M E N T O F H E A LT H A N D H U M A N S E R V I C E S

a woman to go
back to her doctor
for a new one.

4,000
patients

1,400
spots
Chicago, Illinois
And Where “I went off the Pill when my new Really, Nebraska?
Pharmacists Can work insurance wouldn’t pay for
Planned Parenthood Similar Laws
Be Heroes my brand. But I needed emergency is being targeted by Targeting
Abortion
a new law denying Title X
As of January, 10 states You Could contraception while waiting to get cash (used for free or
Providers Have
Gone into
Get Your BC
and Washington, D.C.,
Directly an IUD, and it took me two days to low-cost birth control) to Effect in 12
Other States
allow pharmacists to From a clinics that refer for or
prescribe birth control, Drugstore find a pharmacy that stocked the perform abortions. AR AZ
CO IA IN
bypassing the need for in These The PP in Lincoln, the
an MD visit. Many Locales version my plan covers. It’s like the capital, serves about
MI MO
MS NC OH
CA CO TX WI
facilities are still in the DC HI MD system wanted to get me pregnant, 4,000 women who may
process of rolling out NH NM now face higher costs
their programs. Visit OR TN UT
WA
and I have insurance! What will (or longer wait times
BirthControlPharmacies at the only other Title X
.com to see what’s happen if we lose coverage?” clinic in town, which
available near you. —Joelle, 31, occupational therapist serves around 1,400).

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

141
ST E P

2
Beware the True Costs What you could end up paying for birth control if the Affordable Care Act is
decimated and clinics such as Planned Parenthood are defunded

Shot
MA X COST

D A N I E L L E O C C H I O G R O S S O D A LY. O P P O S I T E PA G E : S T Y L E D B Y M E G U M I E M O T O/A N D E R S O N H O P K I N S . G O L D I U D D E S I G N E D B Y W I T Z J E W E L R Y D E S I G N .
400

S O U R C E S : C O N T R AC EP T I O N, G U T T M A C H E R I N S T I T U T E , H U M A N R EP R O D U C T I O N, P L A N N E D PA R E N T H O O D, U. S . F O O D A N D D R U G A D M I N I S T R AT I O N
$
per year
71
%
+
P O PU L ARIT Y ef
ficacy
1.5 million users
85
% The progestin
ef
ficacy shot (four 88
%
times a year, ef
ficacy
in your butt
or arm) keeps
Condoms 94 sperm and
eggs from
MA X COST % comingling. It’s
ef
ficacy
easier than the
$ 2 each Pill, but if you
get it two or
MA X COST Barrier methods (which
also include the sponge)
P O PU L ARIT Y more weeks $ 90 paired with spermicide
block sperm. They can be
late, it may stop per device
5.5 million users hard to insert and have
working. Side
Before it gets effects can
P O PU L ARIT Y to be left in for at least six
near your V, slip include loss of 235,000 users
hours post-deed. For
one of these bone density the diaphragm and cap,
pouches and dizziness. your doc will size you,
securely over then write a script. They
his P to block last for up to two years
sperm from (unless they break).
entering you.
They’re not 91 One kind contains estrogen
the most fail- ef
%
ficacy
Pill and progestin, which stop
proof method, MA X COST ovulation and thicken
but they are cervical mucus, making it
cheap, lack side
effects (unless $ 600 harder for sperm to swim
upstream. The other (aka
you’re allergic per year
the mini-Pill) packs just
to latex), and P O PU L ARIT Y progestin. Both can cause
also prevent nausea, spotting, breast
many STIs. 9.5 million users
tenderness, and weight
ALL POPULARITY FIGURES ARE BASED gain…but also clearer skin
ON 2014 GUTTMACHER INSTITUTE
DATA OF USERS IN THE PAST MONTH and fewer cramps.

BIRTH Truth: Even with superb insur- says Kelly Blanchard, presi- Pharma, are in the process of
CONTROL ance, getting your BC can be a dent of Ibis Reproductive developing a progestin-only,
pain. “Right now, to get the Health, a nonprofit research truly OTC birth-control pill. If
AT THE Pill, women have to find a organization. But what if you it scores FDA approval, it could
CHECKOUT? health-care provider, get an could just wander into a drug- prompt other companies to
appointment, get a prescrip- store and pluck it off a shelf? develop additional OTC
tion, then go to the pharmacy,” Ibis and its partner, HRA options. There’s just one
New rules
are clamping
down on
your rights.

The Stress on
Emergency
Contraception
Unlike the “abortion
pill,” which ends a preg-
nancy, these meds
prevent conception in
the first place—yet
some politicians (inaccu-
rately) argue they are
abortifacients, and the
drugs are under attack
in many states. The two
types, levonorgestrel
(e.g., Plan B One-Step)
catch: Politicians disagree accounts, while Democrats and ulipristal acetate
about who would pay. say private insurers should (Ella), are now fully cov-
Republicans want users to pick up the tab. As with so
fork over the cost (which Ibis much else contraception- ered by insurance with a
estimates will be $15 or lower related, until they decide, prescription. Otherwise,
per month) using health this total game changer OTC pills can cost up to
savings or flexible spending remains a maybe.
$67 out of pocket.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

143
STEP 2 B E WA R E T H E T RU E CO ST S

Patch
The ring—you DIY one
MA X COST Ring into your vag every
1 800
$ , MA X COST month—is powered by
estrogen and proges-
per year

P O PU L ARIT Y
2 400
$ , tin. Take it out for sex (if
you want), but put it
91
%
per year
back within three hours.
69,000 users ef P O PU L ARIT Y Side effects can be
ficacy
similar to the Pill’s plus
The water-resistant 906,000 users discharge or irritation.
stickies, loaded with
estrogen and progestin,
are a solid option for
those who think the Pill is
too much work but want
the same perks. Users 91
just have to remember to ef
%
slap a new one on their ficacy
upper arm, back, butt, or
stomach once a week for
three weeks every month
(you skip week four to
get your period).

MA X COST P O PU L ARIT Y Sterilization


Surgery
$330 832,000 users
MA X COST

76 +
6 000
$ ,
% P O PU L ARIT Y
ef
ficacy
8.2 million users

99
%
+
ef
ficacy

which a doctor
ties, cuts, or seals
your fallopian
tubes. It’s costly
but effective…and
only for women
who are sure they
don’t want (any
more) kids.

A doc numbs your upper arm before

Implant 99
%
+ inserting a tiny rod under your skin.
This might cause soreness, but once
ef
ficacy it’s in, it releases progestin for up
MA X COST P O PU L ARIT Y
to four years. Side effects may include
irregular bleeding, headaches, and
1 300
$ , 966,000 users
acne (similar to the hormonal IUD).
per insertion

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

144
SHOULD
YOU GET
AN IUD—
ASAP?
AFTER THE 2016 ELECTION, Planned
Parenthood famously reported a 900
percent spike in IUD interest, as women
freaked out about Trump coming for
their reproductive rights. They had cause
for concern: The administration isn’t
just trying to roll back access, it also
wants to convince women they shouldn’t
get some types of birth control. Many
99
%
+ conservatives consider IUDs to be aborti-
ef
ficacy facients (doctors disagree), and now the
Department of Health and Human
IUD Services is paying—with your taxes—
for “research leading to...discontinuing
MA X COST reversible contraceptive methods, such
as…intrauterine devices.” Translation:
1 300
$ , The government wants to get women to
per insertion take out their IUDs. (“What’s shocking is
P O PU L ARIT Y that this is completely counter to what
the medical community is pushing
4.5 million users toward,” says Mary Alice Carter, executive
The copper one director of Equity Forward, a research
works for up to organization focused on repro rights.)
12 years via a Given this, it’s rational to ask whether
chemical reaction you should rush to get one of the long-
toxic to sperm; lasting devices now, says Mara Gandal-
progestin versions
last three to seven Powers, senior counsel for reproductive
(or until you have rights and health at the National Wom-
them removed). en’s Law Center (NWLC). “I completely
Side effects can understand this fear of not knowing if
include irregular you’ll be able to get the birth control you
bleeding, cramps, need. People shouldn’t have to make
or a heavier flow. health decisions based on politics.”
The fact is, the IUD may soon be the
most cost-effective BC method, says
Aisha Wagner, MD, a fellow with Physi-
cians for Reproductive Health. Getting
one is still free for most people (Trump’s
rules were tied up in court as of press
time), and you wouldn’t risk seeing a
monthly co-pay in the future. Plus, most
IUDs will outlast this administration. So
go ahead, if you’re interested (and aware
of the potential side effects). Once it’s up
there, no one can make you take it out.
Even
diaphragms
could become
valuable
commodities.

STAY INFORMED SPEAK UP


HOW TO
Planned Parenthood’s Trump Tracker “When the government proposes a rule,
FIGHT FOR YOUR (TrackingTrump.org) has the latest news they must allow public comments online [at
RIGHTS on the administration’s attacks on birth Regulations.gov],” says Susan Inman, of the
control. Go to Guttmacher.org or KFF.org Center for Reproductive Rights. “Anyone
for info on what states are doing to can post. We need to create lots of noise
strengthen or restrict access. around why these policies are harmful.”

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

146
STEP

3 WHEN THE
PROBLEM IS...

Your
Doctor
) Crisis
1 Use technology. When get- who can give me this medication?’” After Lili Gomez, 22,
ting a script is tough, apps and says Gandal-Powers. In some of Texas, asked for
sites like Nurx, The Pill Club, Pan- states, pharmacists must refer you an IUD, her doctor’s
reaction was shock-
dia Health, Planned Parenthood to a colleague or transfer your ing. “She said, ‘You
Direct, and Prjkt Ruby can pre- script to another pharmacy. You have to commit to 10
scribe and send the Pill, the patch, can also file a complaint with the years on the IUD, so
ask your partner if
or the NuvaRing to you (with free pharmacy’s national headquar- he’d want kids in
shipping). In most cases, you just ters; many big chains have policies that time span,’”
complete an online questionnaire, that protect customers. If the phar- recalls Lili. (An IUD
can actually be
text or video-chat with an MD, or macy is acting illegally (look up taken out any time.)
transfer an existing Rx. Many apps your state laws at NWLC.org), you Provider bias like
accept insurance and offer auto- can also file a complaint with your this is common, says
Aisha Wagner, MD.
matic refills. The downsides: They state’s pharmacy board. Patients may be
don’t do IUDs or other long-lasting given incorrect info
Control

methods and aren’t available in 4 Find a public clinic. Don’t or coerced into (or
Birth

out of) certain types


every state. For more info, check have insurance or don’t want to use of birth control.
out Bedsider.org, an online birth- your parents’ to get birth control? If you feel your
control support network run by Go to Bedsider.org to look up doctor is judging
you or spouting BS,
Power to Decide. government-funded providers it may be time to
Hack Any (

near you that prescribe free or low- switch to a new one.


2 Talk to a human. If you get cost contraception. “We try to be a
slapped with out-of-pocket costs clearinghouse for all your options,”
for birth control, it pays to pick up says Power to Decide’s Rachel Fey.
WHEN THE
the phone. “Look at mail or e-mails PROBLEM IS...
from your insurance company for 5 Guard your privacy. If you’re
info on who to call,” says NWLC’s over 18 and on your parents’ plan, Your
Mara Gandal-Powers, “and be sure call or write your insurance Employer
to have documentation of your company and request to have any
If your company
benefits ready.” For now, most documents related to your health cuts BC coverage,
insurers are required to fully cover care sent directly to you. In many “gather colleagues
BC, but errors and fine print can states, the company is not obligated and meet with HR,”
says Suzanne de
still result in random charges. For to do this, but it’s worth the ask. Janasz, PhD, a visit-
extra help advocating for yourself, ing professor of
call the NWLC’s CoverHer hot- 6 Go off-label. Should your management and
conflict resolution
line at 866-745-5487 or e-mail employer deny you contraception at George Mason
CoverHer@NWLC.org. coverage through your work insur- University. She
ance, talk to your doctor to see if suggests the A-C-E
approach, popular-
3 Know your rights. In the the Pill could address any other ized by persuasion
event that a pharmacist refuses to conditions you have. Then ask your expert Kathleen
fill your prescription, “It’s impor- insurer: “I need this medication for Kelley Reardon,
PhD. “A is for appro-
tant to ask, ‘Is there someone else acne. Is that covered?” priateness,” de
Janasz explains.
“Similar companies
offer free coverage,
so yours should too.
C is for consistency
CONTACT YOUR REPS VOTE
with the company’s
focus on employee
“Call your senator or congressperson and “The best way to make politicians well-being. And E is
let them know how you feel,” says Rachel listen is to vote,” says Dawn Laguens, for effectiveness.
Fey. Even if your elected officials agree executive vice president and chief Canceling coverage
with you, “remind them to prioritize brand officer of Planned Parenthood. will be pricey when
birth-control access.” Find contact info To find candidates’ records on birth more employees
at USA.gov/Elected-Officials. control, go to VoteSmart.org. get pregnant.”
Scorpio

10.23–11.21

YO U R M O N T H
Smooth sailing ahead!
Your long-term proj-
ects will stabilize on
the 8th, when lucky
Jupiter moves into
Sagittarius after a year
in your sign. Keep an
eye on the dollars and
calm seas will prevail.
YO U R Y E A R
You’ve been heading
toward cloud-nine
happiness (thanks to
Jupiter in your sign),
and that ascent
doesn’t need to end
as long as you stay
balanced. Counting on
only one area of your
life to keep you aloft
won’t fly. Open up,
and good news may
come in December.
scan to shop
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taking will arrive in Keladey
wallet, $13,
February, and in April, amazon.com
new love. By Septem-
ber, things will fall
into place.
and boss as you are.
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

148
You deserve a treat before the
holidays take hold! See what
your horoscope has in store and
what should be in your cart.

Pisces
01 .2 0 – 02 .18 02 .19 – 03.2 0

YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H
PSA: Your swagger is Your kick-ass crew is Stick it out, sister. Screw it—just do it.
back. Work that magic calling. Focus on You’ll strike gold soon If you take some
when your ruler, lucky some offline face on a huge project. On risks, you can have
Jupiter, moves into time with your ride or the 15th, active Mars your cake and enjoy
your sign on the 8th. dies after the 15th, moves out of your sign it. Jupiter moves into
You’ll get a boost on when Mars moves into Pisces, whisking your career zone
the 22nd, when the into your zone of baggage away like a on the 8th, and
Sun shines on your short trips and local curbside valet and passionate Mars hits
sign, and the day fun. Just sideline leaving you carefree your sign on the
after, when the Full yourself from too when the Full Moon, on 15th. Use that
Moon glows in your much silliness by the the 23rd, falls in your momentum to get
zone of relationships! 30th for a stress- zone of love and fun! yours—from 9-to-5
Enter: a cutie perfect busting problem- and after hours.
for cuffing season. solving sesh. Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
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phone grip will bold ideas like stepping that say here
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

149
Gemini
Aries

Taurus
03.21– 04.19 04.20 – 05.21 05.22– 06.20

YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H
Scope out a calm Cue a huge sigh of Hello, future and
place ’cause you need relief! You finally put past colliding. On the
some time to reflect. the kibosh on work 7th, your career will
Money is on your drama. When your soar to new heights.
mind, and the New ruler, loving Venus, And when your ruler,
Moon, on the 7th, is goes direct on the chatty Mercury,
ideal to take stock and 16th, optimize your goes retrograde on
get organized. On the routine for laser focus the 16th, you’ll fly like
30th, deal with a and LOLs. Love is all a moth to a former
nagging relationship around till the 22nd, flame. After the Sun
prob. Trust—this so why not take a dip unites with Mercury,
adulting will bring in the dating pool? on the 27th, you’ll
you peace. know if it’s worth
Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
fluttering around
Upgrade your for more.
brunch game Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
with some Your phone is
bubbly fun. going to be
blowing up, so
get it a case
Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f worthy of its
Invest in a fire, ’kay?
chic desk
light to clear
out the men-
tal cobwebs.

scan to shop

Ominilight
LED dimmable
desk lamp, $20,
amazon.com

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Kate Spade
New York
scan to shop iPhone case,
$14, amazon
.com
Talking Tables
Prosecco party
bundle, $30,
amazon.com
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C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8

150
Virgo
Libra
Leo
Cancer
0 6 . 2 1 – 0 7. 2 2 0 7. 2 3 – 0 8 . 2 2 08.23 – 09.22 09.23 -10.22

YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H YO U R M O N T H
Get out there, girl! Forget Ringling Have patience, and Decisions...gah.
The New Moon, on Bros.—you’re a one- power through. You’ll There’s uncertainty
the 7th, falls in your woman balancing act zoom ahead on new ahead, which you no
zone of true love and when it comes to work projects, but you likey. With your ruler,
fun. Translation: Go and play. If you need to may hit roadblocks Venus, retrograde in
flirt. And be prepared redo a project when too, due to Mercury your sign until the
for wanderlust to Mercury goes retro- going retrograde on 16th, give yourself or
take hold after super- grade on the 16th, the 16th. Take haters an important
active Mars moves don’t stress. Just take by the hand instead relationship some
into your travel zone this chance to put your of biting their heads much-needed TLC.
on the 15th. Just be personal stamp on off and you’ll reap Revel in an escape
present for a tough things. After the 22nd, benefits when the after the Sun moves
convo on the 30th. the Sun in enthusiastic Full Moon falls in your into Sagittarius on
Sagittarius will bring fame and success the 22nd. It will help
Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
the happy. A lucky zone on the 23rd. you resolve an issue
This is a break falls on the 27th.
Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
with a VIP in your life
perfect month on the 30th.
Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
for adventures, You’ve got a Tr e a t Yo u r s e l f
Your hands are lot going on,
so get a cozy full this month. so you’re Pretty things
scarf that will Snag a chic going to need relax you.
keep you cute phone stand a bigger tote. Frost your
and warm AF. that will let May as well nails with a
Cindy and you work with make it a shade that
Wendy
pashmina scarf, less clutter. glam one! will make
$11, amazon you smile.
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Essie
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151
ALL ABOUT YOU

Pregnancy
If you’re not pregnant

Decode
and not trying to get
knocked up, this dream
Falling usually represents a new
These dreams tend to happen when beginning for you.
you’re dealing with a letdown in It could be a fresh work
situation or a budding

Your
real life. Maybe it’s a breakup with your
S.O. or a close friend who didn’t quite romance rather than a bun
follow through with plans. in the oven.
Whatever it is, basically, something is
majorly harshing your vibe.

Dreams
Decipher the messages
Missing Teeth
This type of reverie often occurs when
you’ve said something IRL without
thinking it through. You may notice in
the dream you’re concerned about how you’ll
look sans teeth, which could mean
your subconscious is you’re worried about how you appeared to
others after you let something slip.
sending with help from
professional dream
analyst Lauri Quinn
Loewenberg, author of
Dream on It: Unlock
Your Dreams, Change
Your Life.
Being Naked
in Public
It goes hand in
hand with feeling self-
conscious and tends
to happen when
you’re about to be in a
situation where
all eyes will be on you.
In the dream, you may
notice you’re the
only one freaking
out about your nudity.
That’s your subcon-
scious letting you
know that no one else
is giving this any
thought, so chill.

A Cheating Partner
This does not always signal that an actual
AU D R E Y S I M P E R /G E T T Y I M A G E S .

affair is going on. Rather, it could


indicate your partner is giving attention
to something that causes you to feel
“cheated” out of your time together. Or if
you’ve been betrayed in a former
relationship, it may show you haven’t been
able to let go of the distrust. If that’s
the case, consider the dream a wake-up call:
It’s time to move on from the past.

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Danielle Kam

152
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COSMO QUIZ

Are You Totally


Over Your Ex?
THE BREAKDOWN

M O S T LY A’ S
Still Pining
Let’s be real—the
love is still there, at
least on your end.
Try keeping the
focus on just your-
1. Your one- self (versus getting
back together with
time lover is him) and you’ll end
listed in your up not only surviv-
contacts as: ing but thriving.
A TOTGA, for The
One That Got Away. M O S T LY B ’ S
B Douche Canoe or Ruled by
Dildo Baggins....It tends Resentment
to alternate between You might not want
periods of blocking. him back, but you
C Standard firstie kinda want him
lastie, like pretty much to suffer. All that
everyone from your aggression could
old boss to your favor- prevent you from
ite dermatologist. actually letting go.
It’s time to sit down
2. A dating- with yourself, your
app match sug- 5. Turns out, squad, or maybe
gests drinks at 3. LinkedIn you’re invited a therapist to sort
this ish out!
your former says your old to your ex’s
BF’s haunt. You: flame got a wedding. You M O S T LY C ’ S
A Are totally in. promotion. You: decide to: Done and
You’ll take any opportu- A Check out his
4. What’s your A Rent a dress, Spin
nity to “accidentally” company’s available current after- your butt off, book a
Dusted
hours fantasy? Congrats, girl.
run into him. positions. How blowout, and show up
J E N N A G A N G / T H E L I C E N S I N G P R O J E C T.C O M .

You’ve moved on
B Already go there cute would you two A A rewind of your gorgeous AF.
and given your-
nightly. You claimed be as coworkers? ex’s greatest bedroom B Track down the self the all clear to
this spot immediately B Find those dick hits. That tongue tho... bride’s ex -boyfriend enjoy the single life
after the breakup, pics he sexted you and B Picturing your and convince him to be or find new love. If
#SorryNotSorry. send them straight to no-longer-bae in your date. Savage! the split was ami-
C Take the reins his new boss. various BDSM devices. C Politely decline. cable, it’s okay to
and steer your date C Refresh your C Um, have you You are flattered but still cheer him on, if
elsewhere. You only do negotiating skills and even seen the new don’t wanna steal any- only from the com-
throwbacks without map out a raise of your Aquaman trailer? Holy one’s thunder. (Cough, ments section.
emotional baggage. own. Thx for the inspo! Momoa muscles. cough, Chelsy Davy.)

C O S M O P O L I TA N N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 8 By Helen Zook

154

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