DEALING WITH

DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Ag Program HR

Objectives
At the end of this session you should:

• Understand how difficult employees can

cause conflict
• Be able to identify at least 6 types of
difficult people
• Know 5 things to do when dealing with
difficult people

Overview
• Difficult people and conflict
• 12 types of difficult people
• Additional Helpful Hints

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 Difficult People and Conflict

• Can be anyone – even YOU!

• Difficult because it works for them
• Dealing with them can cause conflict

Difficult People and Conflict

(cont)

• Conflict can result in a charged work

environment
• Difficult behavior causes stress in others
• Conflict can reduce an organizations
effectiveness

The Bulldozer

• Know it all
• Often use threats,
sarcasm, intimidation

2
 Dealing with Dozers
• Prepare yourself
• Ask questions
• Focus on solution
• Do not confront them

Bullies

• Loud and hostile

• Abusive
• Overwhelm you

Battling Bullies

• Let them run down

• Get their attention
• State your point non-aggressively
• Don’t allow interruptions
• Ask them to leave

3
 Fire Hose

• Dampen Enthusiasm
• Everything will fail
• Negative statements
• Constantly complaining

Drain the Fire Hose

• Don’t be dragged down
• Don’t argue
• Listen – then ask for alternatives
• Don’t agree or apologize
• Switch to problem solving
• Take action on your own

Stallers/Wafflers
• Reluctant to turn down requests
• Want to be liked
• Afraid or unable to manage
• Paralyzed by tough decisions

4
 Sideline the Stallers
• Surface hidden concerns
• Help them resolve the problem
• You make the decision – with caution
• Support decisions
• Keep control of situation

Silent Types
• Silent/unresponsive
• Answer with a grunt
• Turn away from people
• Pretend nothing happened

Open the Silent Ones

• Meet with them individually
• Give them time to open up
• Ask open-ended questions
• Wait for a response
• If no comments – comment on what’s
happening

5
 Indecisives
• Super helpful – but . . .
• Postpone decisions
• Hint and beat around the bush

Resolve Indecision
• Address fears with “what if” questions
• Help resolve problems when issues
surface
• Help examine facts
• Watch for anger or withdrawal

Sniper

• Exclude key people

• Withhold information
• Use hidden attacks, innuendos, digs,
non-playful teasing
• Wreck havoc and you don’t see them

6
 Unload the Sniper
• Surface the attack
• Provide peaceful alternative
• Bring resistance into the open
• Seek group confirmation or denial of
snipers criticism
• Use coaching/counseling if assigned
tasks not done

Why Always Me

• Gain attention - “its always me”

• Try to gain control and make their
changes

Nothing is Always
• Dig for specifics
• Identify true concern
• Point out where not true

7
 Control Freak
• Get into everyone’s business
• Undermine and insult abilities
• Lack confidence & trust
• Insufferable – render subordinates
ineffective

Reduce Contollers
• Build trust
• Take small steps toward more authority
• Keep focused on solution
• Speak from your own view-point
• Don’t let yourself be verbally abused

Super-Agreeables
• Very personable
• Don’t act the way they say they will
• Supportive but don’t deliver

8
Dealing with Super-Agreeables
• Show them you like them
• Prevent unrealistic commitments
• Make honesty non-threatening
• Point out inconsistencies in behavior
• Work for a mutual benefit
• Listen carefully to jokes

Its Not Up To Me
• Always point to higher authority
• Invokes other powers

Let’s Ask the Authority

• Tell them you will both speak to the
higher authority

9
 Magician
• Problem Disappeared!
• Still bring it up to others

Magic Doesn’t Happen

• Assure them you will deal with the
problem
• If you hear about it again from other
source, confront the “magician”
• Bring the “magician” and other source
together to discuss

Helpful Hints
• Don’t escalate
• Focus on what a person is trying to say
• Avoid being purposefully hurtful
• Model behavior you want
• Focus on solutions
• Maintain eye contact

10
 More Helpful Hints
• Blame the process, not the person
• Be specific
• Avoid always and never
• Avoid name calling
• Encourage listening
• Confront in private – praise in public
• Use your communication skills!

Summary

• Difficult people and conflict

• 12 types of difficult people
• Helpful hints

Resources
• 14 Workplace Personalities and How to Handle Them – iVillage,
http://www.ivillage.com/work/job/succeed/articles/0,,187833_245505,
00.html
• Online Newsletter, Dealing with Difficult People, March 1999,
http://www.itstime.com/print/mar99p.htm
• Techniques for Dealing with Difficult People, Ag Decision Maker, John
Baker, Iowa State University, Iowa Extension, October 1999
• Dealing with Difficult People,
http://www.bethanyhome.org/dealing_with_difficult_people.htm
• Dealing with Difficult People/Situations: Role of the Extension
Committee Member, University of Minnesota Extension Service
• Dealing with Difficult Members, University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire,
http://www.uwec.edu/DC/AP/complexthoughts/Dealing_w_Difficult_Mb
rs.html
• Games People Play, Presentation to BVHRMA, May 1, 2003, Jan
Pfannstiel, SPHR
• Welch, Ben D., Phd, Interpersonal Relations Skills, Presentation at
TAMU and Dealing with Difficult People, presentation June 19, 1998

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