Dressed for Success: Gratuitous Fury

(Ephesians 4:31-32)

I want to talk to you this morning about something that is absolutely

guaranteed to do three things – it has the power 1) to stop evil in its tracks,
it has the power 2) to brighten your whole mental outlook, and3) it will
positively affect your physical well-being, removing the cause of much
disease, discomfort and physical disability that results when the body turns
upon itself in response to mental anguish. This is the power of forgiveness.

In Charles Dickens’ novel, Great Expectations, we meet the immortal

character Miss Havisham, living a dark, mystery-shrouded, eccentric
existence isolated from all human society in a decrepit, decaying prison of a
mansion. It turns out that Miss Havisham was jilted at the altar many years
before. She had been ravishing in her beauty, rosy-cheeked with glorious
anticipation, as she dressed for her wedding, attended by a bevy of friends.
Her groom would arrive at 9:00 and all would begin. The immense wedding
cake, along with a sumptuous feast, lay in wait. But -- at precisely ten
minutes before nine, a tragic message arrived. The groom would not be
coming; he had run away with another woman.

And at that moment – time stopped for Miss Havisham. She ceased to live
and began merely to exist. Every clock in the house registered ten minutes
to nine from that day on. Her only wardrobe for the next 40 years was her
wedding dress – soon tattered, faded and yellowed with age. The windows
of the ruined mansion were heavily draped so that sunshine could never
enter. The feast and the cake rotted on the table – what the rats didn’t carry
off. But Miss Havisham commented, “Sharper teeth than those of the rats
have been gnawing on me.” And of course she was right. The teeth of
resentment and bitterness cut sharp and deep -- laying waste to the life that
God designed as a feast and a celebration of abundant living. Resentment
sucks the life right out of us.

An extreme example? Yes -- but many if not most of us here today are
somewhere on a continuum that starts with resentment and bitterness and
ends in ruin. We foolishly think resentment is controlled. It is internal and
thus innocent. In any case, it is justified in all its glory because the offense
was real. We reject the truth. In the end bitterness cannot be controlled, it
is hurting someone starting with ourselves, and while the offense is real, the
only solution is forgiveness. In harboring resentment, we are giving life to
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foolishness. And – we are breaking the heart of the Holy Spirit within –
grieving Him with every contentious thought and deed. We’ve moved from
living to just existing.

This is Paul’s fifth new suit of conduct. Now he says, “Put off the
foolishness of bitterness, anger, and revenge, and put on forgiveness.” Put
on gracious forgiveness. Oh, Beloved, we need this. We are all only
human. We all give offense in big and little ways, and so we all need
forgiveness. And just as we need it, we need to give it. Take off the ugly,
scratchy, tattered and dirty garments of resentment, and put on the
unsurpassed beauty of forgiveness. This is a change that is long overdue for
some of us. Look with me, beginning in verse 31.

I. Put Off Gratuitous Fury

“31) Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put
away from you, along with all malice.” Here is gratuitous fury – so called
because what Paul describes is selfishly motivated and it does create a fury.
In fact, the word “wrath” used in this verse is elsewhere translated “fury”.
We see bitterness and think – no big deal, but as we will see, it is a big deal
and this title gives it appropriate weight. Bitterness is like hugging and
rattlesnake right next to our heart.

Now, before we look at Paul’s list in detail, I want to call your attention to
four general facts. First, -- there has been a real wrong. This is not just an
imagined offense. The fact that he urges us to forgive in verse 32 tells us
that the offense is real. God is saying even though you have been
legitimately wronged, offended, hurt, treated unfairly, or otherwise abused,
-- do not give in to resentment. Put it off! This is tough. But it is God's
word to us.

Now -- sometimes our feelings of offense are ill founded. We have taken
offense where none was intended; something didn't happen the way we
thought it did, it wasn't intended in the way we took it. It goes without
saying that we should let go of the fantasy in such case. But here the
offense is real; the groom did fail to show and we have been wronged. Yet
God says, let it go. Let it go!

Second – There is no loophole. Paul twice uses the word "all" in this verse.
We are to let all bitterness, all malice and all their relatives be put away.
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There is no wiggle room. We are to enter the library of our heart, find the
section labeled RESENTMENT, take down every single volume and throw
them away. They all have to go. No hidden volumes. No keeping one little
favorite resentment hidden away in the nightstand. All must go. You
cannot be right with God while harboring resentment. They simply cannot
co-exist. They cannot co-exist.

Third, one thing leads to another. The items listed here are a continuum.
Malice is a general term which covers all of them. Malice is a translation of
κακια – a general word for evil. It is the opposite of goodness, and since in
this context it refers to attitudes toward people, it is best understood as
meaning “evil intent”. The Bible is saying that a bitter attitude tends to
grow into a settled disposition of anger and wrath. This in turn leads to
clamor and slander. At this point, inward has moved outward. We’re now
speaking ill of people and seeking their head on a platter. Put is all together
and it is malice or evil intent. Not every resentment that we harbor
necessarily goes through all of these steps, but the potential is there. It is
insidious. Paul notes that this was characteristic of his own life earlier when
he says in Titus 3:3, " 3) For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led
astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice
and envy, hated by others and hating one another.” This is a picture of
where pent-up resentment and bitterness can lead -- a point where we are
hated by others and in turn hate them. It’s a miserable place to be and we
get there in increasingly miserable volatile steps.

In the spring of 1894, the Baltimore Orioles came to Boston to play a

routine baseball game. But what happened that day was anything but
routine. The Orioles’ John McGraw got into a fight with the Boston
third baseman. Within minutes all the players from both teams had
joined in the brawl. The warfare quickly spread to the grandstands.
Among the fans the conflict went from bad to worse. Someone set fire
to the stands and the entire ballpark burned to the ground. Not only that,
but the fire spread to 107 other Boston buildings as well. Beloved, that's
a vivid picture of what happens to resentment and bitterness left
unresolved. We think we can carry it without harm. It’s under control.
It’s inside of us, unexpressed. But it is a simmering, smoldering
devastation waiting to happen -- eating away at our own mental and
physical wellbeing and all the while grieving the Holy Spirit. We’re not
living, we’re merely existing. Joy? Joy is a distant memory.

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Now, fourth removal of gratuitous fury is a command. Paul uses the third
person imperative here which means this is a command. And the command
is that we let these things be put away "from you." The word translated "put
away" has a root idea of "to lift with a view to carrying." It came to mean,
"take away, or remove". There is a great word picture in Matthew 24:39. In
Jesus has been talking about the moral laxity during the days of Noah. He
says in verse 39 concerning the people living then " 39) and they were
unaware until the flood came and swept them (there’s our word) swept them
all away.” So, picture the water rising -- sweeping away unbelievers
outside the ark. That's what Paul is saying should happen to any and all
bitterness and anger and wrath and slander and malice that may be in our
lives. Don’t give it gratuitous fury safe harbor. Just as a flood sweeps
away everything in its path – let it all be gone!. It all reminds me of Romans
5:20 as we’ve studied before. “Where sin abounded, grace did much more
abound. It’s sitting there behind the dam of our own willfulness just
waiting to flood – to overflow and overwhelm the bitterness. But we must
let go. It cannot come until we let go. Now, what's look at these items
individually.

A. Bitterness

This is where it all starts, Folks. Here is the little sucker that you want to
pick out as soon as you see it. Otherwise it will grow into a twisted, ugly,
hideous person-eating monster. Bitterness. Few things are as devastating to
Christian experience. Bitterness is a thief and a robber and a destroyer –
and yet it looks so innocent and harmless. Let me just cradle this little
harsh feeling toward Blaine. After all, he did harm me. Let me wallow for
a moment longer. I’ve been wronged after all. I insist on feeling bad a little
longer. Bitterness. The writer to Hebrews recognizes its devastating power
when he comments in Heb 12:15, “15) See to it that no one fails to obtain the
grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble,
and by it many become defiled.” See how bitterness is linked to a failure to
respond to the grace of God? You can't have bitterness in grace exist side-
by-side. It only takes a root. Then everyone and everything you touch will
be defiled along with you. Yes, someone sinned against you. You have
been sinned against. But now it is you sinning; it is a sin to hang on to this
ill-will.

“Bitterness” is derived from a root that means pointed or sharp. It was used
of arrows, for example. In time it came to refer to the sharp or bitter taste of
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certain plants and then became applied to the bitterness in feelings. Most of
us know that when we eat something bitter, it begins to affect our whole
body. The bitter taste simply won't go away. It is this penetrating and long
term effect that makes bitterness so harmful. Aristotle described it as “the
attitude that creates a lasting wrath, hard to reconcile, and sustaining
anger for a long time." When bitterness really gets us in its grip, we will
even harm ourselves just to get at the other person.

The story is told of two shopkeepers who were bitter rivals. The spent the
day watching each other from across the street -- keeping track of each
other’s business. If one got a customer, he would smile in triumph at his
rival. One night one of the shopkeepers found a genie lamp. Sure enough,
when he rubbed it, a genie appeared. “I will give you anything you ask for,
but your competitor will get twice as much. Would you be wealthy? You
can be very wealthy, but he will be twice as rich. Do you want to live a long
and healthy life? You can, but his life will be longer and healthier. You can
be famous, have children you will be proud of, whatever you desire. But
whatever you get, he will get twice as much." The man frowned, thought for
a moment and said, "All right, my request is: strike me blind in one eye."
How crazy is that?! Bitterness cripples. You don’t live with it; you just
exist with it.

That is a bitter representation of human nature. Bitterness -- harmful to the

one resented, but even more harmful than the one doing the resenting. How
does one deal with it? How does one sweep it away? Just like any sin, it
must be confessed -- we must acknowledge to God that he is right and we
are wrong. And then, we must forgive. Whether accepted or not, we must
forgive.

B. Wrath and Anger

Next comes wrath and then anger. We will consider them together. This is
bitterness and resentment carried to the next stage. The first and most
logical question would be – what is the difference between these two – or is
there any difference? The answer is, not much. They are used
interchangeably. However, when found together, as they are several times
in the NT, there is a difference in emphasis. We saw it earlier in verse 26.
The first word, θυμος, translated “wrath” here, implies a more turbulent
commotion or boiling agitation of feelings. Loss of control. Temper
tantrum. The other word (οργη) emphasizes a settled, abiding state of mind.
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This is anger in residence – calculating, festering, plotting revenge,
seething just beneath the surface. Bitterness has morphed into a boiling
rage, then settled into a steady-state of resentment -- desire for vengeance.

We’re pulling down the shades. No sonshine can get in. Anger is always a
dangerous emotion and usually unrighteous. The command here is to let it
be swept away. As a sidenote, in this passage, the verb “be put away” is
passive, indicating that the operation of putting away is done by someone
outside us – the Holy Spirit. It is simply for us to allow the cleaning out.
However, in Colossians 3:8, we read, “8) But now you must put them all
away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” In
this case the verb is the Greek middle voice which emphasizes that you
yourselves must put these away. So between the two passages we see the
cooperation that must occur between ourselves and the Holy Spirit in
dealing with this dynamite we harbor inside. We must let it go. Then the
Holy Spirit can sweep it away with God’s grace. But He will not violate
our will. He will not pry our cold, hard fingers off. We must let go – take
our hands off – release it once and for all.

Anger is actually the expression of hurt. It is pain seeking payment, but it

always comes with its own price. In Dr. S. I. McMillen’s book, None of
These Diseases, he repeats a Dale Carnegie story about a trip to
Yellowstone National Park. He was observing grizzlies feeding and a guide
told him that the grizzly bear could whip any animal in the West with the
exception of the buffalo and the Kodiak bear. That very night as the people
sat watching a grizzly eat, they noticed there was only one animal the
grizzly would allow to eat with him – a skunk. Now the grizzly could have
beaten the skunk in any fight. He resented the skunk and probably wanted
to get even with him for coming into his own feeding domain. But he
didn’t attack the skunk. Why? Because he knew the high cost of getting
even! It wouldn’t be worth it. Many of us humans have not learned that
important lesson with regard to bitterness. Norm Wright notes in his book
The Christian Use of Emotional Power that the price for harboring anger is
high. He says, “It can lead to severed relationships with God and other
people, even those to whom the anger is not directed. And for those who
harbor these feelings the result may be strokes, heart attacks, high blood
pressure, hypertension, mucous, colitis, or ulcers. The question is, ‘Is it
worth it?’” I agree that’s one important question. Let me give you an even
more important one -- does this glorify my heavenly Father?

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 C. Clamor and Slander

This word “clamor” is an interesting word. It can mean lamentation – an

audible expression of intense sorrow or pain. It is used as such of Jesus as
described in Hebrews 5:7: “7) In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up
prayers and supplications, with loud cries (our word) and tears, to him who
was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his
reverence.” The intensity of the word is seen in that passage. But in the
context of Ephesians 4, it takes on a more onerous nuance – it describes
people who get excited, raise their voices in a quarrel, and start shouting,
even screaming, at each other. It has this sense in Acts 23:9 where
emotions got very heated at one of Paul’s trials. We read, “9) Then a great
clamor (our word) arose, and some of the scribes of the Pharisees’ party
stood up and contended sharply (in defense of Paul), “We find nothing
wrong in this man. What if a spirit or an angel spoke to him?” You see the
intensity of emotion implied by this word. In Eph 4, it is describing an out
of control emotional reaction and loss of temper associated with some
wrong or perceived wrong, leading to an audible outcry that eventuates in
the next word – “slander”.

When I tell you the Greek word for slander, you will have the picture. The
word is βλασφημια, to blaspheme. It comes from a root word that means
“to injure” and is the strongest possible word to use in describing how one
person might injure another, short of physical violence. It describes foul,
and abusive language – often behind the other person’s back. It is the
attempt to ruin someone’s reputation through a violent campaign of
innuendo, backstabbing, spite, disparagement and slander. It begins with a
root of bitterness, but it ends in a fury of blasphemous intent. You can’t
keep your mouth shut. You refuse to give it up.

Perhaps you heard of Leonard Holt. He made the news in 2002. He was a
middle-aged, hardworking lab technician who had been employed at the
same Pennsylvania paper mill for nineteen years. Having been a Boy Scout
leader, an affectionate father, a member of the local fire brigade, and a
regular church attender, he was admired as a model in his community – a
paragon of virtue. Until the day he snapped.

On one very carefully planned day, Leonard Holt, a proficient marksman,

concealed two pistols in his coat pockets and drove to the mill where he had
worked for so many years. Wordlessly, he walked slowly into his shop and
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began firing with calculated frenzy. He killed several co-workers with two
or three bullets apiece. Firing more than thirty shots, cutting down men he
had known for more than fifteen years. People were shocked that Leonard
was the killer. It just didn’t make sense. Puzzled police investigators
finally found a train of logic behind his brief reign of terror. Down deep
within the heart of Leonard Holt, resentment rumbled and seethed like
trapped magma. Bitterness. His monk-like exterior concealed the churning
hatred within. Several victims had been promoted over him while he
remained in the same position. Leonard Holt was eaten alive by his
bitterness and resentment, and his rage finally came gushing to the surface.
Beneath his picture in Time magazine, the caption told the story:
“Responsible, Respectable, and Resentful.” Leonard Holt was eaten alive.
He allowed his disappointment to master his life. It was William H. Walton
who once observed that “to carry a grudge is like being stung to death by
one bee.”

Now, fortunately, most bitter and resentful attitudes don’t go this far. They
don’t lead to the outright killing of those deemed responsible for some real
or supposed slight. They just kill the one harboring the bitterness. So
may I ask you this morning with all the kindness I have, where are you on
the Road of Resentment? When did you stop living and begin to merely
exist? Where, like Miss Havisham have you stopped the clock of life
because someone hurt you, took from you, mistreated you, betrayed you,
left you, spoke against you or otherwise afflicted you? Perhaps you
resentment is even directed against God Himself. How could he let your
spouse die? How could He let your child go astray? How? Why?
Bitterness bites with the tenacity of death. It will never let go. You must
let it go.

What can you do? What must you do? Remember Psalm 66:18, “18) If I
had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.” A
major reason for unanswered prayer – right there – the harboring of
resentment and bitterness within. So the only solution is to agree with God
that it is sin -- confess it and let it go. You must forgive. You say, “I
can’t. I just can’t forgive; I don’t want to forgive, and besides that person
has not asked forgiveness – probably never will. They don’t deserve
forgiveness. ” But, Beloved, may I remind us of Jesus’ words on the cross.
What did he say? It is recorded in Luke 23:34. Even as they were busy
casting lots to divide up his clothing; even as He was writhing in agony
resulting from unjust and undeserved punishment, Jesus said this, “Father,
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forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He didn’t wait for them to
ask forgiveness! Listen, bitterness is killing you. Let it go. Release it and
let it go. Next week I will show you that if you don’t forgive, you are not
yourself forgiven. Let it go.

Let me conclude with this. After the civil War, Robert E. Lee visited the
beautiful home of a wealthy Kentucky widow. After a charming lunch she
invited him to join her on the porch. She then pointed to a once majestic
magnolia tree that had been badly burned and charred by Northern artillery
fire. The woman began to cry as she described the former magnificence of
the once stately tree that had shaded the family house for generations.
Through tear-laden lashes she looked to General Lee for a word
condemning the North – or at least to sympathize with her loss. After
pausing for several seconds, Lee said, “My dear madam, cut it down and
forget it. Cut it down and forget it!” Bitterness is running your life;
bitterness is ruining your life. The only way to cut down the deep roots of
bitterness and resentment that spring from deep disappointment is to
redirect your focus toward God in confession and trust that He will do
what is right. That will free you to forgive and forgiving will set you free.
No one portrayed that attitude better than Joseph, son of Jacob.
Confronting his terrified brothers, who years before had sold him to slave
traders, he said “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in
order to bring about this present result” (Genesis 50:20). Believe God has
your best interests at heart. He always knows best, but our harboring
bitterness stops Him dead in His tracks. Confess the bitterness; forgive the
offense, and start the clocks of life again. Cut it down and forget it! Let’s
pray.