Coaching and Mentoring Guide

Coaching and Mentoring Manual
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© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

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INTRODUCTION: 7
Why is Coaching & Mentoring So Important? 7
WHAT IS COACHING AND WHAT IS MENTORING? 7
The meaning of Coaching: 7
What does Mentoring mean? 9
Informal Mentoring 10
Formal v informal mentoring relationships 11
DO WE NEED COACHING/MENTORING? 11
The Benefits of Coaching for Organisations 11
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND MENTORING 13
BUSINESS COACHING & MENTORING 13
Executive Coaching & Mentoring 14
Performance Coaching and mentoring 15
Skills coaching & mentoring 15
Personal coaching & mentoring 16
HOW DOES COACHING AND MENTORING COMPARE WITH OTHER SERVICES? 17
IS COACHING JUST THERAPY BY ANOTHER NAME? 19
The traditional therapies, psychology and counselling and their relationship to coaching 20
MENTORING VERSUS OTHER FORMS OF DEVELOPMENT 20
Two schools of mentoring 21
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EXPECTATIONS AND CHARACTERISTICS OF A BUSINESS COACH 22
EXPECTATIONS AND CHARACTERISTICS OF A MENTOR 24
STYLES OF COACHING AND MENTORING 26
Mentoring Styles: 26
‘Letting Go’ Style 26
‘Active Listening’ Style 26
‘Advisory’ Style 26
‘Cooperative’ Style 27
Recognizable Coaching Styles 27
CONTEXT FOR EFFECTIVE BUSINESS COACH OR FORMAL MENTOR 30
Communication: 30
INTER PERSONAL COMMUNICATION 30
Transactional Analysis: 30
Ego States 31
Transaction between ego states 31

Complimentary transaction: 31
Crossed Transaction: 31
Ulterior Transaction: 32
Strokes and Games 32
ISSUES INFLUENCING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 33
Communication Barriers: 33
Personality conflict: 33
Gender Differences 34
Communication Barriers between men & women: 34
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Cultural Differences 34
Cross Cultural Communication 34
‘Politically Correct’ Communication: 34
Emotional Intelligence: 35
TYPES OF COMMUNICATION 35
Face to Face Communication 36
Facial Expressions: 36
Gestures: 37
Posture: 37
Personal space: 37
BUSINESS COMMUNICATION 38
ESTABLISHING THE REALITY 39
FEEDBACK: 40
COACHING FOR RESULTS 43
PERFORMANCE-BASED FEEDBACK 46
PROVIDING POSITIVE FEEDBACK 47
FEEDBACK ON PROBLEM PERFORMANCE 49
GIVING CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK 52
GROW MODEL FOR COACHING 53
Goals 53
Reality 53
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Options 53
Wrap Up 54
POSSIBLE BARRIERS IN COACHING AND MENTORING: 54
SIGNS OF SUCCESS 54
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Introduction:
Why is Coaching & Mentoring So Important?
The rate of internally and externally driven change for organisations is likely to
continue to increase at an exponential rate. Organisations will continue to
move in the direction of not offering a 'job for life' but still wanting to attract
and retain high quality staff and managers who can perform in changing
circumstances. Mentees will need to equip themselves with the necessary
skills, knowledge and experience to manage change effectively whilst in a job,
and with the vision and insight to be able to manage their careers in a more
proactive way.
Coaching and mentoring helps both organisations and mentees to address

organisational change initiatives by paying full attention to the part people play
in this process. Specifically, coaching and mentoring can help to achieve the
following necessary elements of an organisational change process:
 Reconciling individuals' goals and attitudes with organisational goals and

culture
 Providing a challenging but supportive environment for exploring options
 The opportunity for individuals to achieve real learning at all levels.
What Is Coaching And What Is Mentoring?

The meaning of Coaching:
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Coaching creates the capacity for
continuous improvement, development
and success, through enabling and
supporting people and organisations to
make the best use of their knowledge,
insight, vision, creativity, sensibility,
determination, external resources and
vast ability to learn and develop.
Coaching recognises the vast potential of
human capability, understands what
restrains this and how to unleash it and
significantly reduces the internal and
external ‗interference‘, which exists between potential and their performance.
Research and history shows us that individuals and organisations rarely

achieve lasting improvement when people are merely ‗told about‘ concepts and
practices or ‗made‘ to change.
However lasting and powerful change is achieved when people:
 recognise the need to improve and believe that improvement and

achievement are entirely possible
 develop clear and compelling goals
 identify strengths and areas for improvement in a positive, non-
threatening way, recognising that this will lead to improvement, rather
than focussing on ‗criticism‘, ‗failure‘, ‗errors‘ or ‗problems‘
 become aware of the current situation from an ‗outside-in‘ perspective
(like moving from inside traffic gridlock to seeing it from above)
 think in an innovative way about solutions
 use positive role models of best practice
 plan actions in a clear and concise manner
 focus with determination on implementing and maintaining the identified
change
 recognise and reward success in achieving the goals
Coaches achieve the above by applying leading-edge continuous improvement

and development tools and techniques on a one-to-one (in person or via the
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telephone) or group basis.
Coaching is centred on goals. It focuses the individual or organisation on

moving forward and achievement, rather than dwelling upon past behaviour
and ‗failures‘ (it is not counselling).
Coaching is not a casual discussion; it is hard work! Through Coaching the

organisation or individual completes tangible actions – small steps which add
up to the overall goal. This approach makes Coaching very well suited to the
challenges of the modern corporate environment.
At its best, Coaching is ‗non-directive‘: it does not teach, advise, and seek to
control people or impose solutions. Rather, it enables people to use their
internal and external resources to pursue their goals effectively. This technique
is at the heart of successful Coaching and differentiates it from consultancy,
training, traditional teaching and traditional management (and most sports
‗coaching‘!).
Research and practice have shown that this approach achieves sustainable
positive change, enabling organisations and individuals to achieve and maintain
goals that they had previously thought were not possible.
The success of these techniques has led to Coaching being used in a

considerable number of areas both in and outside of the corporate
environment, including personal development, change management,
performance management, communications, team development, and career
development, personal wealth, stress, relationships and, most recently,
lifestyle and work/life balance changes.
Coaching is used to overcome many traditional individual and organisational

barriers to sustainable improvement and change.
What does Mentoring mean?
"Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own

learning in order that they may maximise their potential, develop their
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skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to
be." Eric Parsloe, The Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring
The term originates from Greek mythology, in which it is reported that

Odysseus, when setting out for Troy, entrusted his house and the education of
his son – Telemachus - to his friend – Mentor.
“Tell him all you know” Odysseus said, and thus created a valuable personal
development tool …..and unwittingly set the limitation that Coaching
overcomes!
Mentoring is a powerful personal development and empowerment tool. It is an

effective way of helping people to progress in their careers and is becoming
increasing popular as its potential is realised. It is a partnership between two
people (mentor and mentee) normally working in a similar field or sharing
similar experiences. It is a helpful relationship based upon mutual trust and
respect.
A mentor is a guide who can help the mentee to find the right direction and
who can help them to develop solutions to career issues. Mentors rely upon
having had similar experiences to gain an empathy with the mentee and an
understanding of their issues. Mentoring provides the mentee with an
opportunity to think about career options and progress.
A mentor should help the mentee to believe in him/herself and boost his/her
confidence. A mentor should ask questions and challenge, while providing
guidance and encouragement.
Mentoring allows the mentee to explore new ideas in confidence. It is a chance

to look more closely at yourself, your issues, opportunities and what you want
in life. Mentoring is about becoming more self aware, taking responsibility for
your life and directing your life in the direction you decide, rather than leaving
it to chance.
Informal Mentoring
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When a person recognises a set of values, actions,
believes and or outcomes of another person, they can
then model their own behaviour on the visible actions of
this chosen person.
The relationship is of an informal nature – not set up in a

formal manner by any party, the mentee would normally
approach the would be mentor personally and ask for a
mentorship relationship.
Characteristics:
 Goals are not defined

 Outcomes are unknown to both parties
 There may be no communication
 Mentors may not be aware that they have been selected
 No direct training / support is necessarily given
 Outcomes are not always measured
Formal v informal mentoring relationships
Formal mentoring relationship setup by employer and informal mentoring

relationship is an initiative by mentee, in order to peruse career, which could
be same as mentor have. The advantages of an informal relationship are that it
is likely to be stronger and have a deeper element of friendship. Some studies
also suggest that the quality of the mentoring is likely to be higher.
The disadvantages include, it is much more difficult to find a suitable mentor,

and there is typically less clarity of purpose – relationships often drift into
simple friendships, because neither party is clear what they want to achieve
from meeting.
Do We Need Coaching/Mentoring?
The Benefits of Coaching for Organisations
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Corporate Coaching is used in a number of different ways to achieve real value
for the organisation and its people, including:
1. Achieved performance goals at organisation, team and individual levels

2. Improved effectiveness and efficiency
3. Successful change
4. More effective leadership
5. Improved teamwork and partnership working
6. High impact communication
7. Implementation of robust and valuable performance management and
continuous improvement systems
8. Maximising the investment in formal training (the International Personnel
Management Association‘s research into training and development showed
that, following training, mentee productivity increased by just over 22%,
whereas training combined with coaching produces an increase in productivity
of 88%)
9. Increased motivation and positive orientation to work
10. Improved critical decision making
11. Greater creativity
12. Reduced stress
13. Improved time management
14. Improved work/life balance and workforce health
15. Greater self awareness, self confidence, self esteem and insight into
personal development
Having a mentor can be one of the most powerful developmental relationships

you will ever experience. For example, four out of five chief executives say that
having a mentor was one of the keys to their success. Hundreds of thousands
of people from all walks of life and at all stages of their careers are able to
point to deep, personalised learning they have obtained from a developmental
relationship with someone of substantially greater experience, who has taken a
direct interest in them.
Powerful, often transformational mentoring relationships have helped young

graduates find their feet in an organisation, helped mothers of young children
return to work, or enabled young offenders to turn their lives around. People
coming up to retirement have been eased through this difficult time, by tapping
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into the experience of others, who have been through it already. In short,
mentoring can help anybody, who has a major transition to make in his or her
life, whoever or wherever they are.
The difference between coaching and mentoring
As can be seen above, there are many similarities between coaching and
mentoring! Mentoring, particularly in its traditional sense, enables an individual
to follow in the path of an older and wiser colleague who can pass on
knowledge, experience and open doors to otherwise out-of-reach opportunities.
Coaching on the other hand is not generally performed on the basis that the
coach has direct experience of their client‘s formal occupational role unless the
coaching is specific and skills focused.
Having said this, there are professionals offering their services under the name
of mentoring who have no direct experience of their clients' roles and others
offering services under the name of coaching who do. So the moral of the story
is, it is essential to determine what your needs are and to ensure that the
coach or mentor can supply you with the type and level of service you require,
whatever that service is called.
Business coaching & mentoring
Organisational development, changes brought about by mergers and

acquisitions as well as the need to provide key mentees with support through a
change of role or career are often catalysts, which inspire companies to seek
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coaching or mentoring.
At one time coaching and mentoring were reserved for senior managers and
company directors, now it is available to all as a professional or personal
development tool. Coaching and mentoring are also closely linked with
organisational change initiatives in order to help staff to accept and adapt to
changes in a manner consistent with their personal values and goals.
Coaching & mentoring, of which focus on the individual, can enhance morale,
motivation and productivity and reduce staff turnover as individuals feel valued
and connected with both small and large organisational changes. This role may
be provided by internal coaches or mentors and, increasingly, by professional
coaching agencies.
Coaching and mentoring programmes generally prove to be popular amongst

mentees as coaching achieves a balance between fulfilling organisational goals
and objectives whilst taking into account the personal development needs of
individual employees. It is a two-way relationship with both the organisation
and the mentee gaining significant benefits.
There is also an increasing trend for individuals to take greater responsibility

for their personal & professional development and even those who are
employed in large organisations are no longer relying on employers to provide
them with all or their career development needs. There has been an increase in
the number of individuals contracting coaches and mentors on a private basis.
Some are looking for a career change, but many are also seeking to maximise
their potential with an existing employer or achieve greater balance with their
work and home lives.
Executive Coaching & Mentoring
There is a great deal of overlap between business and executive coaching or

mentoring. Many people will offer either service, but there is a growing body of
professionals in the market who are calling themselves executive coaches and
mentors and are differentiating themselves in the marketplace. The key
differences between business and executive coaching and mentoring are that
Executive coaches and mentors typically…
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Have a track record in professional and executive roles
Work exclusively with the ‗high-flyers‘ or with those who have potential
to be a high flyer
Work at board or CEO level within high profile or ‗blue-chip‘
organisations
Offer total confidentiality
Work with potential 'captains of industry' and high profile business
leaders
Performance Coaching and mentoring
Many coaching clients will seek coaching or mentoring for performance

enhancement rather than the rectification of a performance issue. Coaching &
mentoring have been shown to be highly successful intervention in these cases.
When an organisation is paying premium rates for development services,
performance is usually the key pay-back they are looking for. Even if an
executive or manager receives support in balancing work and home life, it will
be with the aim of increasing their effectiveness and productivity at work and
not for more altruistic reasons.
Performance coaching derives its theoretical underpinnings and models from

business and sports psychology as well as general management approaches.
Skills coaching & mentoring
Skills‘ coaching has some commonalities with one-to-one training. Skills

coaches & mentors combine a holistic approach to personal development with
the ability to focus on the core skills a mentee needs to perform in their role.
Skills coaches & mentors should be highly experienced and competent in
performing the skills they teach.
Job roles are changing at an ever increasing rate. Traditional training

programmes are often too inflexible or generic to deal with these fast moving
requirements. In these instances one-to-one skills coaching allows a flexible,
adaptive ‗just-in-time‘ approach to skills development. It is also possible to
apply skills coaching in ‗live‘ environments rather than taking people away from
the job into a ‗classroom‘ where it is less easy to simulate the job environment.
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Skills coaching programmes are tailored specifically to the individual, their
knowledge, experience, maturity and ambitions and are generally focused on
achieving a number of objectives for both the individual and the company.
These objectives often include the individual being able to perform specific,
well-defined tasks whilst taking in to account the personal and career
development needs of the individual.
One-to-one skills training is not the same as the ‗sitting next to Nelly‘ approach
to ‗on the job training‘. What differentiates it is that like any good personal or
professional development intervention it is based on an assessment of need in
relation to the job-role, delivered in a structured (but highly flexible) manner,
and generates measurable learning and performance outcomes. This form of
skills training is likely to focus purely on the skills required to perform the job
function even though it may adopt a facilitative coaching approach instead of a
'telling' or directive style.
Personal coaching & mentoring
Personal or ‗life coaching‘ is growing significantly in the UK, Europe and

Australia. Personal coaches may work face-to-face but email and telephone
based relationships are also very common. These coaches and mentors operate
in highly supportive roles to those who wish to make some form of significant
change happen within their lives.
Coaches offer their clients a supportive and motivating environment to explore

what they want in life and how they might achieve their aspirations and fulfill
their needs. By assisting the client in committing to action and by being a
sounding-board to their experiences, coaching allows the individual the
personal space and support they need to grow and develop. The coach's key
role is often is assisting the client to maintain the motivation and commitment
needed to achieve their goals.
In many cases personal coaching is differentiated from business coaching

purely by the context and the focus of the programme. Business coaching is
always conducted within the constraints placed on the individual or group by
the organisational context. Personal coaching on the other hand is taken
entirely from the individual's perspective.
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How does coaching and mentoring compare with other
services?
Traditional forms of training Coaching/mentoring

. Wholesale transfer of new skills, . Development activities are
e.g. change in procedures, new designed to suit client‘s personal
systems (e.g. software needs (whether aspiration or
application training), new job performance related) and learning
function. styles.
. Programmes are mostly generic . Fine tunes and develops skills.

and not tailored to individual
needs. Delegates generally have . Can focus on interpersonal skills,
to complete standard modules, so which cannot be readily or effectively
there is little room for tailoring transferred in a traditional training
the programme to account for environment.
existing knowledge, skills or

. Provides client with contacts and
preferences.
networks to assist with furthering
. Not always sufficiently similar to their career or life aspirations.
the ‗live‘ working environment to
. Performed in the ‗live‘ environment
ensure effective skills transfer.
or off-line.
. Best suited to transfer of
. Highly effective when used as a
knowledge and certain skills
means of supporting training
rather than the development of
initiatives to ensure that key skills
personal qualities or
are transferred to the ‗live‘
competencies
environment.
. Coaches and mentors transfer the

skills to the client rather than doing
the job for them.
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Counselling Consultancy
. Explore personal issues and . Focus is on developing
problems through discussion in organisational practices, processes
order to increase understanding and structure.
or develop greater self-
awareness. . Role generally more strategic and
often used to instigate and design
. The aim of counselling is to lead broad ranging change programmes
the client toward self-directed
actions to achieve their goals. . Consultancy frequently involves
expert advice about specific issues
N.B Coaching and counseling share and organisational processes.
many core skills. However,
professional counselors work with . Consultants are often brought in to
personal issues in much greater provide specific ‗solutions‘ to
depth than would generally be business problems and needs

explored within a coaching context.
. Consultant leads the job for the
organisation: whilst up skilling the
mentee/client may be a contractual
part of the service, it is not generally
the primary goal.
N.B. The term consultant coach is often

used when the coach is external to the
organisation and therefore offering
services on an ‗external‘ or ‗consultancy‘
basis. This is not, however, the same as
consultancy per se.
Coaching and mentoring has been

offered by consultancy companies for
many years, even though it is not
specifically ‗consultancy‘ It is only
recently that people have begun
drawing a distinction which in some
cases, like the distinction between
coaching and mentoring, is not useful in
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distinguishing between them.
Is coaching just therapy by another name?
Coaching is not ‗therapy‘ by another name although the key theoretical

underpinnings, models and techniques found their origins in the field of
psychology and associated therapies like gestalt & cognitive behavioural
therapy which have broad ranging applications in both organisational and
personal contexts.
The key difference between coaching and the therapies is that coaching does
not seek to resolve the deeper underlying issues that are the cause of serious
problems like poor motivation, low self-esteem and poor job performance.
Coaching and mentoring programmes are generally more concerned with the
practical issues of setting goals and achieving results within specific time-
scales.
Coaching and mentoring is generally commenced on the premise that clients

are self-aware and ‗whole‘ and have selected coaching or mentoring because
they do not require a therapeutic intervention. It is possible for someone who
has underlying issues to experience success within a coaching context even if
the underlying issues are not resolved. If, however, a client becomes ‗stuck‘
and the coaching or mentoring programme is not achieving desired results,
then a psychological or therapeutic intervention may be necessary for the client
to move forward and achieve their goals.
Coach & mentor training programmes which are typically quite short are not
aimed at qualifying coaches to conduct an assessment of whether someone
may be in need of a therapeutic intervention, rather than a coaching or
mentoring one. This is driven in part by the professional restrictions and
barriers that have traditionally been placed around psychology and the
therapies, but is mostly due to the fact that psychological assessment is a
complex process that does require specialised training. Professional coaches &
mentors do, however, stay ever alert to the possibility that a client may have
or may develop issues or problems for which coaching or mentoring on its own,
is not sufficient.
Client progress is always monitored and coaches and mentors watch for signs
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which may indicate that a client requires an assessment by a trained therapist.
Some coaches will on-refer a client to an appropriate therapist if this is felt to
be useful. Other coaches will conduct a coaching programme in parallel with a
therapeutic intervention.
Most coaches & mentors are keen to maintain the professional boundaries
between coaching & mentoring and the traditional therapies and will
collaborate with therapists when a client requires this form of intervention.
The traditional therapies, psychology and counselling and their

relationship to coaching
Because of this relationship between coaching and psychology & the therapies,
some professionals offering coaching services are, in fact, therapists or
psychologists who are marketing their services under the names coaching and
mentoring. This means it is possible to offer the appropriate level of service
depending on immediate needs and client preferences. This also has the
benefit of transcending some of the negative conceptions of what these
services involve.
Services of this nature can often be found under the terms positive or coaching
psychology to make it easier for clients to find service providers who take a
psychological focus within their work as a coach. For an explanation of
coaching psychology as an area of practice see
www.coachingpsychologist.net/WhatIs/Index.php
Anyone seeking life improvement, and who is willing to work at the deeper
issues, should consider contracting a coach or mentor who does have a
traditional therapeutic background in the first instance. If the client is not sure
if they have issues that would benefit from a therapeutic intervention are
encouraged to secure professional an assessment by an appropriately qualified
person.
Mentoring versus other forms of development
Mentoring is often confused with coaching, or teaching, or counselling.

In practice, a mentor may draw on all of these approaches, but they are
not the same as mentoring, as the chart below indicates.
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Coach Teacher Counsellor Mentor
Focus Task and Knowledge/ Building self- Building
performance information awareness capability
and self-
confidence
Key skill(s) Giving Instructing/ Listening, Helping
feedback on explaining questioning learner
observed discover
performance their own
wisdom
Goal- Sets or Passing a Helping the Works with
orientation suggests test person cope learner‘s own
goals for the on their own goals
learner
Closeness Moderate Low Low Relatively
of the high, often
relationship becoming a
strong
friendship
Flow of One-way One-way One-way Two-way,
learning Adult
Learning.
Two schools of mentoring
Structured mentoring, in which people are encouraged and supported in

developing and sustaining mentoring relationships, emerged as an important
movement in the early 1970s, in the United States. This early model was
aimed primarily at high-flying young men in business organisations and
emphasised the role of the mentor as sponsor and protector of the younger
person‘s career. In this approach, the junior partner in the relationship is
typically described as a protégé – someone to be protected.
When the concept spread to Europe a decade later, it very quickly changed to
one, which emphasised empowering people to take charge of their own
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development and career momentum. In this approach, the mentor‘s
accumulated experience and wisdom is not necessarily passed on directly – it
provides a background, from which the mentee builds their own. Mentors also
expect to extract significant learning from the relationship, too.
The less experienced partner is typically referred to as the mentee – although a

variety of other terms, such as mentoree are also used.
Expectations and characteristics of a Business Coach
The goal of a business coach should always be to help draw out leadership
capability in individuals he is associated with. A business coach must make an
effort to help the business executive learn about how to design and link specific
leadership challenges, assuming complete responsibility to overcome the
challenge successfully.
A business coach must take the following steps first, before introducing them
with the leadership and problem solving aspects:
Take into account the work culture and the talent of the team, by partnering
first with the CEO or business head and the HR team.
The mentoring should go on for as long as the business coach is not completely
satisfied with the performance of the participants. The aim here is to coach the
executives in such a way that they are aware of every aspect of leadership and
problem solving skills.
Companies hire business coaches to improve the performance of the team,

both, collectively as a team and individually. After the completion of the
coaching session an executive should have a better understanding of individual
and organizational behaviour. He should be able to comprehend the key
changes that are required for his transition from manager to leader.
The six characteristics that are indispensable requisites for a successful

business coach are:
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1. Strong Belief:
Coaches need to have a very strong belief system, a vision of the future, a
positive approach to every problem and a strong understanding of themselves.
This they need to pass on to the managers, who lack these basic leadership
skills.
2. Optimism:
This is an absolutely essential trait for a leader. It is a trait that sets apart the
managers from leaders and the coach himself should have this approach on life
and business, to teach others.
3. Courage:
The coach has to hardwire this virtue in managers. He has to prove to them
that although we all have our own fears; the main thing is to learn how to
overcome them in the best possible way.
4. Teamwork:
This is a very important point to remember. It is preached everywhere, but
seldom practiced. The coach should himself know how to work within a team.
Everyone knows that leaders cannot do everything by themselves and so they
have a team of individuals with different talents. He has to guide the team in
such a way that each talent is fully utilized and the team feels good about
using their talent.
5. Good preparation:
Always prepare and go through your content before you start implementing
them on the participants. The content needs to cover all the aspects of the
subject, from basic skills to designing and implementation of leadership ideas.
6. Clear communication:
The most important of all traits is effective communication. Managers don‘t
essentially become leaders because they cannot communicate their ideas to
the management and their team effectively. A business coach is not only
responsible for polishing the communication skills of the participant, but also
on how he speaks and conveys management strategy to the participants.
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Expectations and characteristics of a Mentor
Not everyone can be a great mentor, after all. The most successful mentors are
going to be those people who want to share their experiences, their knowledge,
the skills and the solutions that they've discovered for common issues that
come up on the job.
Those who are going to be fantastic with being a mentor will have an innate
understanding that sharing what they know with a new hire puts them in a
position of power rather than someone who has the sense that knowledge is
power.
In order for someone to be a great mentor, he or she needs to be comfortable

with the work that they are doing. A great mentor sees himself or herself as a
part of a team, and is consistently committed to making a difference, to being
dependable and reliable - especially when that means that it's a good idea to
consider another way of doing things, a method that might be more logical or
intuitive. In other words, mentors need to be willing to do more than just teach
their experiences, they must be willing to learn from others around them -
including their mentees.
While mentors lead by example, not every leader is a mentor. Some of the best
leaders lead by instructing others, by engaging those who follow them and by
expecting others to simply embrace their way of doing things. Great mentors,
on the other hand, lead by showing that there's always more to be learned.
Mentors lead from within their team not from outside of it.
Of course, mentoring programs do foster an environment in which others can

become mentors. Some of the best mentoring training comes simply from
being mentored and recognizing the benefits of mentoring programs. By
working with a great mentor who is inspiring, reliable and consistent, those
who are looking to develop mentoring skills will be able to get a sense of
whether or not they're interested in becoming a mentor and what they may
need to work on in themselves to become better at their jobs, more effective in
their lives and to, in time, grow to mentor others.
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The most important characteristic that mentors share is the willingness to lead
by example and to focus on the ways in which differences will make the
company stronger. Some of the best mentors are going to find that those who
they have mentored move beyond them in the company or become better at
the job than the mentor himself or herself.
There is a strength that is a part of being a mentor that not everyone has;
however, developing those strengths is something that will benefit the mentor,
the mentee and the organization overall.
The qualities which are essential in an effective mentor include:
A DESIRE TO HELP
Individuals who are interested in and willing to help others.
HAVE HAD POSITIVE EXPERIENCES

Individuals who have had positive formal or informal experiences with a mentor
tend to be good mentors themselves.
GOOD REPUTATION FOR DEVELOPING OTHERS

Experienced people who have a good reputation for helping others develop
their skills.
TIME & ENERGY

People who have the time and mental energy to devote to the relationship.
UP-TO-DATE KNOWLEDGE
Individuals who have maintained current, up-to-date technological knowledge
and/or skills.
LEARNING ATTITUDE
Individuals who are still willing and able to learn and who see the potential
benefits of a mentoring relationship.
DEMONSTRATED EFFECTIVE MANAGERIAL (MENTORING) SKILLS

Individuals who have demonstrated effective coaching, counselling, facilitating
and networking skills.
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Styles of Coaching and Mentoring
Mentoring Styles:
‘Letting Go’ Style
Getting into the conversation by:

Giving time to let things develop.
Waiting for things to happen in a natural way.
Avoiding an over-emotional approach
Avoiding rush and pressure.
‘Active Listening’ Style

Asking questions when things are unclear.
Checking things by summarizing.
Being reserved in giving your own opinion.
Giving space to the mentee.
Showing that you understand the mentee.
‘Advisory’ Style

Giving suggestions for good problem solving.
Advising as an objective outsider.
Giving alternatives so that the mentee can make a choice.
Giving advice expertise based
„Prescribing’ Style
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Taking responsibility for solving the mentee‘s problems.
Offering instructions on how to handle problems.
Being convincing and persuading.
Requiring improvement and if necessary holding out the prospect of
consequences.
‘Cooperative’ Style

Striving for a joint vision.
Involving the mentee in problem-solving.
Giving space to the opinion of the mentee.
Appreciating equality in contributions.
Being focussed on cooperation.
Recognizable Coaching Styles
Coaching can pave the way to company growth and increased profit, or
speedier advancement and higher income. The coaching styles listed here
have been developed by countless business and personal coaches over the
years. Coaching concepts are simplified and broken up into bite-sized chunks
using real-world examples.
The knowledge and sense of achievement that a good coach or mentor can
bring to your life and to your business will contribute to your bottom line year
after year; it will also lay a critical foundation for future business and personal
success.
There are 30 coaching methods or styles in current use.
Let's take a look at each of the 30 coaching styles —
A business coach, like a sports coach, may be authoritarian, cooperative or

advisory. This is their personal style, but the types of coaching available are far
more varied than that and each of the following methods, or models, can be
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applied in an authoritarian, cooperative or advisory manner.
1.Traditional Coaching Model — Where the coach empathizes and feels

what the client feels, acting as a confidant and guide.
2. Intermediate Model — Where the client wants the coach to collaborate
on developing goals and on achieving them.
3. Advanced Coaching Model — Where you want to make a substantial
break from your past, to try new things and new ways of doing them.
4. Integrity Coaching Model — This model works like a diagnostic tool,
separating wants and needs.
5. Block Removal Coaching — When you find yourself resistant to growth
it's like a block, caused by limiting beliefs, or hidden fears. This model will
unblock the flow of energy.
6. Personal Evolution Model — Development gives you more of what you

have. With evolution, you actually become a different person - by changing
your environment.
7. Innovation Coaching Model — This model centers on innovation,
experimentation and creativity.
8. Attraction Coaching Model — As you add value to your life, you attract
feedback and opportunities.
9. 3-D Coaching Model — This model works on Who you are, What you
want, and How to get it.
10. Linear Coaching — Set the goal, create the plan, take action, and hold
yourself accountable.
11. Personal Foundation Model — Works on boundaries and standards.

The higher you want to go, the deeper your foundation must be.
12. Extreme Self Care Model — Finding life too complicated? This may be
for you - it means redesigning and simplifying your life.
13. Bigger Thinking Model — Challenge your assumptions, expand your
thinking, and break out of your comfort zone!
14. Vision Coaching Model — Identify a trend, extrapolate it out into the
future (the vision), then decide to take advantage of that trend today.
15. Distinction Coaching — Re-orienting from an old way of doing
something to a new way of doing something.
16. Paradigm Coaching — Understand the current set of assumptions and

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values, then look at the trends. If the game has changed, prepare to
change with it.
17. Solution Coaching — Recognize symptoms, discover the source of the
symptoms, find a solution.
18. Corporate Coaching — Most companies don't have a single vision.
When the corporate vision is clear, everyone understands and benefits.
19. Zen Coaching Model — Surrender to what is happening, accept it and
find balance.
20. Leap Coaching Model — Challenge yourself to something that is far
bigger than you are used to - take Massive action.
21. Grace Coaching Model — Having faith in yourself, being generous to

others, and finding the joy in accomplishing great things.
22. Paradox Coaching — In this model, one learns to recognize conflicts,
understands both sides without trying to resolve them, and succeeds within
the paradox.
23. Shift Coaching Model — When you cannot see how to achieve your
goals, sometimes a shift in thinking is required. Step back, inquire, shift,
and move forward on a new track.
24. Recovery Coaching Model — Used when recovering from business
failure, family loss, etc. Instead of denying it, resisting it, or hiding it,
accept it and move on.
25. Deep Coaching — Our basic beliefs can gradually shift over time until
they are no longer true. Digging deep will find the 'out-dated truth' which
can then be aligned with today's reality.
26. Strategic Coaching — This model identifies real opportunity, helps you
decide the role you will play, creates a game plan and monitors the action
taken in carrying out the plan.
27. Performance Coaching Model — For the competitive client. Develop a
compelling goal; create milestones to keep yourself focused on the goals,
build momentum with daily reporting.
28. Turnaround Coaching — In this model you will go digging for
problems, determine causes and effects, restore integrity, and then
establish new goals for the turnaround.
29. Quality of Life Coaching — Dissatisfied with life? Job not fulfilling?
Fulfillment comes from living your values, so this model calls for a re-
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evaluation.
30. Acceptance Coaching Model — Most people try to overcome a
weakness, rather than accepting it and using it to their advantage.
Acceptance Coaching provides the answer.
Context for effective Business Coach or Formal Mentor

Effective Coaching and Mentoring needs a skills set to ensure that you get to
maximum effectiveness. The skill set required includes the following:
Communication
Establishing the Reality
Feedback
Communication:
Communication skills simply do not refer to the way in which we communicate

with another person. It includes many other things - the way in which we
respond to the person we are speaking, body gestures including the facial
ones, pitch and tone of our voice and a lot of other things. And the importance
of communication skills is not just limited to the management world, since
effective communication skills are now required in each and every aspect of our
life.
Inter Personal Communication

Transactional Analysis:
Transactional Analysis is a theory developed by Dr. Eric Berne in the 1950s.
Originally trained in psychoanalysis, Berne wanted a theory which could be

understood and available to everyone.
Transactional Analysis is a social psychology and a method to improve

communication.
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The theory outlines how we have developed and treat ourselves, how we
relate and communicate with others, and offers suggestions and
interventions which will enable us to change and grow.
TA includes 3 major areas that are –Ego States, Transaction, and

Strokes & Games.
Ego States
Parent Ego State – characterized by domineering, over

protective & loving, stern and critical. It is illustrated by those
who establish standard and rule for other.
Adult Ego State – In this people attack problems in a cool

minded rational manner. In adult state information is
gathered, carefully analyze it, generate alternative, and make
logical choices.
Child Ego State – submissive & conforming, insubordinate,

emotional, joyful, or rebellious. Characterize by very
immature behaviours.
Transaction between ego states
Complimentary transaction: It shows 3 possible complementary.

Transactions are complimentary if the message sent or behaviour exhibited by
1 person ego state receives the appropriate and expected response from the
other person ego state.
Crossed Transaction: It is occurs when message sent the behaviour

exhibited by the 1 person‘s ego state is reacted to by an incompatible and
unexpected ego state on the part of the other person.
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Ulterior Transaction: They are very damaging to interpersonal relation
because it always involves at least two ego states on the part of 1 person.
Individual may say one thing but mean quite another.
Strokes and Games
Strokes: It means simply that beginning in infancy and continuing throughout

their lives, people need cuddling, affection, recognition, and praise. People
don‘t get positive strokes when they will seek out negative strokes. The strokes
are divided in to two categories:-
 Positive
 Negative
Games: Games are set or pattern of transactions that have surface logic but
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hidden meaning and attempt to drawing in an unsuspecting participant. The
outcome of the games is always a win - lose proposition.
Interpersonal communication deals with relationships between people,

usually in face-to-face private settings.
Interpersonal communication is the primary way through which

relationships are created, maintained, and changed
Uses of Interpersonal Communication
 Give and collect information.

 Influence the attitudes and behaviour of others.
 Give and receive emotional support.
 Form contacts and maintain relationships.
 Make sense of the world and our experiences in it.
 Make decisions and solve problems.
ISSUES INFLUENCING INTERPERSONAL

COMMUNICATION
Communication Barriers:
In its journey from one person to another, information encounters a whole

range of obstacles that can alter, change or completely block out the message.
These are called ―Barriers‖ and include assumptions, distractions, discomfort,
language, jargon, anxiety or jargon.
Personality conflict:
 Each of us has a unique way of interacting with

others.
 Personal opposition always based on :
o personal dislikes,
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o personal Ego states,
o personal disagreements,
o different personality styles.
Gender Differences
Communication Barriers between men & women:
 Difference in style of conversation.

 Both have different mind set, priorities
and principles.
 Ways of dealing with the same
situation are very different.
 A research shows that Men use to talk to emphasize status whereas
women use it to create connection.
Cultural Differences
Cross Cultural Communication

 Barriers caused by differences among perception.
 Barriers caused by tone difference.
 Barriers caused by semantics.
 Same word means different things to different people.
 Barriers caused by word connotations. Words imply different things in
different languages.
‘Politically Correct’ Communication:

 How do you describe a person who is ‗wheelchair bound‘ (as
handicapped or physically challenged)
 Similarly, a blind or visually impaired,
 Elderly or senior,
 We must be sensitive of others feelings.
 Should choose politically correct word.
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 Words might have the same meaning but politically correctness refers
either words are soothing or hurting someone.
Emotional Intelligence:
Intelligence Quotient (EQ), describes an ability, capacity, or skill to perceive,

assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups. As a
relatively new area of psychological research, the definition of EI is constantly
changing.
Emotional Intelligence is increasingly relevant to organisational development

and developing people, because the EQ principles provide a new way to
understand and assess people's behaviours, management styles, attitudes,
interpersonal skills, and potential.
Emotion-related abilities should help people choose the best course of action
when navigating social encounters. For example, the ability to decode facial
expressions of emotion can help one to evaluate how other people respond to
one‘s words and actions, yielding important information for adjusting one‘s
behaviour (Nowicki & Duke, 2001).
The ability to use emotions to guide thinking can help one to consider both
emotions and technical information when evaluating an interpersonal problem.
The ability to manage emotions should help individuals experience and express
emotions that contribute to favourable social
encounters, in part through emotional contagion (Hatfield, Cacioppo, & Rapson,
1994).
TYPES OF COMMUNICATION
Communication can be divided into two categories:
Internal
External
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Face to Face Communication
When communicating face-to-face, body language plays a vital role in

conveying the appropriate messages.
Eye Contact:
In the business culture, it is imperative to make eye
contact if one wishes to make a positive impression
with guests and maintain a relationship based on trust.
Consider the following:
 Maintain eye contact without staring, as this is arrogant and threatening.
 Avoid blinking too much as this communicates nervousness and
can be interpreted as an indication of dishonesty
 Try to keep eye level on the same level as the guest. Stand if the guest
is standing. If the guest is seated, accommodate this by standing back a
little.
Facial Expressions:
Be aware of facial expressions when speaking to people.

Professional service providers who deliver excellent service have
alert, lively and appropriate facial expressions.
Avoid the following facial expressions:
 An expressionless or deadpan face showing no emotion in response

to what guests say makes them feel uncomfortable. This may be
interpreted as boredom, rudeness or indifference.
 An arrogant or stern expression creates the impression of being
superior to others.
 Grinning continually makes one look stupid. It creates the impression
of misunderstanding what is being said or done. It may also create the
impression of being deliberately unhelpful.
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Gestures:
Head and hand movements are common during speech:

Smooth and wide gestures with palms facing upwards, are warm and
welcoming. People react positively to friendliness and helpfulness.
Guests are naturally drawn to people who use calming gestures.
Sharp, short gestures with palms facing downwards, are aggressive and negative.
People react by wanting to either dispute or avoid. When upset or if there is a need to
discuss problems, gestures should be controlled. Problems are never resolved
through aggressive gestures
Posture:
The way the speaker stands, sits or walks, indicates a

great deal about the speaker‘s attitude, mood and self-
esteem.
A correct posture entails the following:
 Stand upright with arms comfortably at sides

 Keep shoulders dropped and slightly back
 Stand with feet slightly apart to maintain balance
 Walk briskly because it creates a professional impression
 Sit upright with shoulders back. Slouching looks lazy
 When speaking to guests, either face them or turn the body slightly
sideways towards them
 Avoid leaning against walls or furniture
 Avoid folded arms – they create the impression of being shy or arrogant
 Standing with hands on hips looks arrogant
 Swinging when speaking to people suggests a lack of self-confidence
 Resting the face on hands while leaning on counters looks lazy.
Personal space:
This refers to the space each person has
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around him/her and into which intrusions are unwelcome. The exact size of
the area around each person differs and depends on a variety of factors
including, personality, culture, family background and even the type of sport
played.
Shy people usually need a wider personal space than outgoing people do.
People instinctively indicate when their space is invaded - they either move
away slightly, look uncomfortable, blink their eyes to show their discomfort, or
look behind the speaker to avoid eye contact.
Business Communication
Business is conducted through various channels of communication, including

the Internet, Print (Publications), Radio, Television, Ambient media, Outdoor,
and Word of mouth.
Business Communication can also refer to internal communication. A

communications director will typically manage internal communication and craft
messages sent to mentees. It is vital that internal communications are
managed properly because a poorly crafted or managed message could foster
distrust or hostility from mentees.
There are several methods of business communication, including:
Web-based communication - for better and

improved communication, anytime anywhere...
E-mails, which provide an instantaneous medium of
written communication worldwide;
Reports - important in documenting the activities of
any department;
Presentations - very popular method of
communication in all types of organisations, usually involving audiovisual material,
like copies of reports, or material prepared in Microsoft PowerPoint or Adobe
Flash;
 Telephoned meetings, which allow for long distance speech;
 Forum boards, which allow people to instantly post information at a
centralized location; and
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 Face to face meetings, which are personal and should be succeeded by a
written follow-up.
E-mail:
Electronic mail—often abbreviated as e-mail or email—is a method of
exchanging digital messages, designed primarily for human use. A message at
least consists of its content, an author address and one or more recipient
addresses.
Email systems that operate over a network-rather than being limited to a

single, shared machine-are based on a store-and-forward model in which email
computer server systems accept, forward, deliver or store messages on behalf
of users, who only need to connect to the email infrastructure with their
personal computer or other network-enabled device for the duration of
message submission to, or retrieval from, their designated server. Rarely is
email transmitted directly from one user's device to another's
Establishing the Reality
Both coaching and mentoring are processes that the mentee to achieve their
full potential.
Facilitate the exploration of needs, motivations, desires, skills and thought

processes to assist the individual in making real, lasting change.
Use questioning techniques to facilitate the mentee‘s own thought processes in

order to identify solutions and actions rather than take a wholly directive
approach:
 Support the mentee in setting appropriate goals and methods of

assessing progress in relation to these goals
 Observe, listen and ask questions to understand the mentee‘s
situation
 Creatively apply tools and techniques which may include one-to-one
training, facilitating, counselling & networking.
 Encourage a commitment to action and the development of lasting
personal growth & change.
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 Maintain unconditional positive regard for the client, which means
that the coach is at all times supportive and non-judgemental of the
client, their views, lifestyle and aspirations.
 Ensure that mentee develop personal competencies and do not
develop unhealthy dependencies on the coaching or mentoring
relationship.
 Evaluate the outcomes of the process, using objective measures
wherever possible to ensure the relationship is successful and the
client is achieving their personal goals.
 Encourage mentee to continually improve competencies and to
develop new developmental alliances where necessary to achieve
their goals.
 Work within their area of personal competence.
 Manage the relationship to ensure the client receives the appropriate
level of service and that programmes are neither too short, nor too
long.
Feedback:
Follow the Guidelines for Effective Interpersonal Communication

There are fundamental strategies that should always be part of interpersonal
communication in the work place.
Don‘t personalize the situation or behaviour, concentrate on the facts.

Be considerate and respectful of the other person.
Develop productive alliances with others in the work place.
Be an example.
Don’t personalize the situation or behaviour, concentrate on the facts:
By focusing on facts, you minimize blame, reduce defensive reactions, and

encourage cooperation.
In difficult or negative situations,

Avoid using ―You‖ statements and making judgements.
Let’s look at ways . . .
Let’s talk about . . .
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Get the facts about the situation.
Don‘t blame or point fingers. Focus on the issues, not the person.
“You vs. I” statements

―You‖ statements tend to be received defensively—they blame, judge, and
assume things that may not be true. ―I‖ messages let the mentee respond with
his or her perspective on the situation.
“YOU did this.” “This is what I observed.”
“YOU shouldn’t have done that.” “Here’s how I think . . .”
“YOU must be crazy.” “It’s important that we talk about this.”
Simply beginning a statement with the word ―I‖ doesn‘t make it an effective
statement.
“I feel frustrated when you don‟t get your reports to me on time.”
Vs. “I feel frustrated when I don‟t have the reports in time for the 2:00
meeting.”
Be considerate and respectful of the other person.

Mentees work best when they feel they are making a contribution to the client
and the company. Each person needs to feel confident that they can do the
job.
As a supervisor or manager, the confidence you show (or don‘t show) in your
mentees affects their performance.
It‘s important to give positive feedback to others in the organization based on

their efforts, as well as their results. Show them that you believe they have the
ability to do the job well.
Say ―Thank you‖ to others to show your appreciation for the contributions they
make to the organization.
Remember . . .
How you say something is as important as what you say!

Notice your nonverbal communication—body language, facial expressions,
gestures.
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How you say something is SIX TIMES as important as what you
say.
Instead of giving orders, make requests
Look at the following phrases:
―You‘ll have to take this to George.‖

―You‘ll have to have it ready in time for the meeting.‖
Communication is made up of three parts—

55% non verbal—expressions, gestures
38% tone of voice
7% actual words
Any time you tell someone they ―have‖ to do something, he or she usually
reacts with the ―3 Rs‖:
Reluctance
Resentment
Resistance
Only when you want to do something will you do something voluntarily. That
is why it is important to change orders into requests or recommendations.
 What part of your job is the most exciting to you?

 How much freedom do you have to perform this part of your job in your
own way?
 Does the amount of freedom you have contribute to your motivation and
satisfaction with this part of your job?
 What was the last task you gave to one of your mentees?
 Did you allow your mentee the amount of freedom to determine the best
way to perform that task as you enjoy?
 What could you have done differently?
 What difference might it have made?
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Develop productive alliances with others in the work place.
Collaborative relationships are more successful than adversarial ones.

Good relationships reduce stress, build trust, and help you get the job done.
Take advantage of opportunities to show your co-workers and others you work
with that you are interested in them. Be courteous and appreciative. Treat
them the way you want to be treated.
Handle small problems while they‘re small—don‘t let them build into bigger
problems. Keep focused on the future. It might feel good to unload
occasionally, but generally it‘s not worth it.
Keep the goals of the organization in mind, and continue to develop
collaborative relationships between co-workers, departments, and governing
agencies.
Be an example.
What you do is often more important than what you say.
“Actions speak louder than words.”
In your Coaching/Mentoring role, your actions show others:

 The priorities of the organization and your work group.
 How to deal with change.
 How to consider department goals and objectives to make good
decisions.
 Whether it is worth the risk to suggest improvements.
 What you value.
 The way you handle situations and issues is looked at by others as a
guide to what you think is important and what is important. Mentees
model their behaviour based on what they see you do.
Coaching for Results
Coaching is frequent, specific feedback is designed to raise the level of

performance. It has many important applications and functions:
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To improve poor performance
Look for patterns in the mentee’s behaviour.
If you see a performance problem or a potential performance problem,

determine if the mentee understands what is expected, what obstacles
might be preventing good performance and whether there is a lack of skills,
training, or motivation.
To maintain standard performance
Give praise to keep performance on track.

If the mentee wants to expand skills, allow for appropriate training.
To encourage mentees to exceed performance standards
 Praise to keep performance on track.

 Provide training to expand skills.
 Mentor for increased responsibility.
 Assign special projects, if possible.
To assist mentees in developing new skills
 Provide training.
 Give feedback to reinforce learning.
 Effective coaches help others to achieve results by building on their
strengths,
 Developing their skills, providing encouragement, and increasing their
confidence. It requires getting the mentee to examine his own
performance and find ways to improve performance. Coaching uses
informal work progress, discussions, formal performance reviews, and
workday ―coachable moments.‖
1. Identify opportunities to help another mentee improve his or her

skills, knowledge, and abilities.
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Learn to identify coaching opportunities and act on them—person asks, is
struggling or stuck, expresses the desire to improve, has a negative attitude,
etc.
2. If the person doesn‟t seem to be ready, show why improvement will

benefit the individual‟s development and the team or company, but
don‟t force the issue.
Would you be interested . . .? Would you like to discuss . . .?
3. Ask questions to clarify the situation.

Encourage the mentee to analyze his own performance. The mentee‘s input
might give the coach new information about the problem.
Ask “How much . . .” or “What happened as a result . . .” questions

rather than “Why” questions.
4. Help the person come up with possible solutions or actions.

Assist in developing concrete action plans
Minimize defensive reactions by having the mentee participate
Give the mentee a better feel for how he‘s doing
“What steps could you take . . .?”
“What actions can you think of . . .?”
5. Arrive on a course of action agreeable to both of you.

Show how their ideas might affect their performance
Give other options to consider
Reinforce positive ideas
“What are you going to do . . .?”
6. End on a positive note.

Show that you have confidence in the mentee
Offer your support.
Don‘t take over for the mentee, let them take responsibility.
Task-Specific Communication
In many instances, an mentee‘s ability to achieve outstanding performance
depends on how effectively supervisors communicate on distributing tasks. This
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is a very complex subject, involving orienting the mentee to the work group
and responsibilities, training, and providing on-going guidance and direction, as
necessary. When specific projects or tasks are distributed, supervisors are well
advised to use the following model:
 Describe the scope and requirements of the job to be completed. This

communication orients the mentee to the project, providing parameters.
 Describe timelines, deadlines, and schedules. Any project or task

that is time dependent should be planned with the mentee to identify
periodic and/or final deadlines and to schedule necessary resources.
 Describe the attributes or characteristics of the project. Mentees need

to know what the task‘s outcome or project outcome should look like.
For experienced mentees, this definition may be enough for them to
complete the work. Less experienced mentees, or mentees learning new
tasks, may need more guidance to specify the various elements of the
work.
 Describe resources that will be available for the task. If the mentee is
on his/her own, the mentee obviously needs to know that. If the mentee
will be working with others, he/she needs to know that. For some tasks,
mentees may need to know the budget assigned to the job, or staffing
levels for the job.
 Describe the rationale or reasons for each of the above elements. For
example, a scope may be defined in a particular manner because a
client has to work within certain software configurations or hardware
requirements (all Mac, all PC, for example). A deadline may be
necessary because a system conversion will occur.
Performance-based Feedback
Performance-based feedback should be balanced; it should reflect the array of

activities, behaviours, and progress mentees have made related to their work
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assignments and responsibilities. Feedback can reflect positive performance,
competent performance, or needs improvement performance.
In any of these cases, it should be

direct, specific, and reasonably assessed.
Frequent, specific feedback is designed to raise the level of
performance.
It has many important applications and functions:
To improve poor performance

Look for patterns in the mentee’s behaviour.
If you see a performance problem or a potential performance problem,

determine if the mentee understands what is expected, what obstacles
might be preventing good performance, and whether there is a lack of skills,
training, or motivation.
To maintain standard performance

Give praise to keep performance on track.
If the person wants to expand skills, allow for appropriate training.
To encourage mentees to exceed performance standards

Praise to keep performance on track.
Provide training to expand skills.
Mentor for increased responsibility.
Assign special projects, if possible.
To assist mentees in developing new skills

Provide training.
Give feedback to reinforce learning.
Providing Positive Feedback
Rarely do mentees receive more than enough feedback, let alone more than
enough positive feedback. Conditioning theory and practical experience tell us
that positive feedback and praise produce more of the desired behaviour. For
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mentees learning new tasks or doing good work, providing positive
communication is invaluable to continuing the learning or good work.
Here are some examples of positive communication that is specific,

constructive, and reinforcing:
“I want to thank you for the work you’ve done on…

The user reports that their productivity has greatly improved since you
worked on their tracking system.”
“Good work on improving the proposal. You have done a much better
job of assessing your audience, defining problems, and developing
specific, doable recommendations.”
“It has been difficult learning this material. It’s clear to me from your
application reviews that you’ve got a good eye for the details of the
application process. That will help our clients.”
These simple statements, which do not cost any money to give, will produce
positive results in productivity and future quality work.
Give praise
 For improvements in performance.

 Frequently and honestly, not reluctantly.
 As soon after the performance as possible.
 Sometimes privately, sometimes, publicly; depending on the
 mentee and the circumstances.
 As often as it is deserved.
 Fairly and consistently.
Notice Improvements!
For people trying to change behaviour or improve their learning,

reinforcement is critical. People often do not know whether they‘ve
made the right decisions or performed correctly unless they receive
guidance or feedback from others. Your job as a mentor is to
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help people, especially when they‘re trying to make changes, know
they are improving.
“I noticed that you made some significant changes in your proposal

from the last time. These are good changes. Your sentences are
shorter, your word choice is simpler, and your statements better
supported.”
“I can see that you’ve worked hard to reduce the number of errors in
this process. It looks like your double checking has brought the error
level to zero. Great improvement”
Without consistent, fair reinforcement and positive verbal feedback, people will
revert to their comfortable behaviour, not necessarily because they do not
want
to perform capably, but because they aren‘t sure what that is.
Feedback on Problem Performance
Analysing Problem Performance
Sometimes employees have on-going performance problems that require

analysis as to their source, reason, and resolution. The following questions will
help you to define critical issues related to performance problems:
1. What is the mentee doing wrong?

2. What specific behaviour do you want from the mentee?
3. Is the problem worth dealing with?
4. Does the mentee know what is expected?
5. Does the mentee know how to do what you want done?
6. Are there obstacles (work or personal) which prevent them from
performing at the level you want?
7. Does a negative consequence follow good performance?
8. Does a positive consequence follow bad performance?
9. Could the mentee do it if they wanted to?
10. How does the mentee performance affect others?
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11. What are the consequences to the mentee if poor performance
continues?
Use the Willing / Able – Unwilling / Unable Matrix
Your performance evaluation process may benefit from figuring out whether
your problem performer has a ―willingness‖ or ―ability‖ problem. Look at the
grid below:
The mentee is:

Willing and able Willing, but unable
What characteristics demonstrate this What characteristics demonstrate this
condition? condition?
Unwilling, but able Unwilling and unable

What characteristics demonstrate this What characteristics demonstrate this
condition? condition?
Your solution to mentee performance problems will depend on whether the

mentee has the ability or willingness to do the job. If the mentee cannot do
the job because he/she doesn‘t have the skill, your solution will be more
training and skill development. If the mentee can do the job but will not, you
will have to discern the obstacle to performance.
Guidelines for Constructive Feedback in Difficult Situations:
After answering your planning questions, you are ready to use your best
communication skills to have your feedback session with the mentee.
Show that your intentions are constructive, not critical.

“I’m concerned about the completion of your project. I want to make sure I’m
doing everything I can to help you make the deadline.” Use “I” statement
strategies.
Describe your observations.

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Point out the difference between what you have observed and the standards
you agreed on.
“The due date is next Wednesday, and from what I can tell, it looks like it’s
going to slip by about a week.”
Tell how the behaviour or action affects you, the work group, and the
company.
Be specific, objective, timely, and honest. Focus on behaviours or actions, not
the person.
“If you miss the deadline that will be a problem for the user who’s relying on
the system changes before the end of the month.”
Ask for a response.

Use listening and questioning skills to reach a mutual understanding of the
problem. When you get excuses, show understanding, but get the discussion
back on track.
Distinguish between reasons and excuses.

“What do you think about this problem? What ideas do you have to meet the
deadline?”
Use acknowledgment and clarification skills to make sure you and the mentee
are on the same page.
Concentrate the discussion on solutions.

Ask for ideas. Focus on the problem, not the mentee. If the person becomes
emotional, give them time to calm down. If appropriate, ask for the change
you want. If you make suggestions, don‘t come across as an expert.
“So it sounds like you think we need to put more resources into…”
Tell the mentee what you are going to do and why.

Documentation or formal disciplinary actions should be explained.
“We agreed at the beginning of the project that you would keep me informed if
any slips occurred. If you had told me about this earlier, I could have gotten
more resources for you sooner, and we wouldn’t be in this situation. As it is, I
have two other projects going that need attention. Since this happened in
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the last project we worked on, it’s become a serious issue. I would like to see
immediate improvement in this area, or I will begin the disciplinary process
with a written warning.”
Agree on an action plan and follow up date.

Get commitment.
“So at this point, I will allocate one more person to the project full time. As
we’ve discussed, you’ll get back to me tomorrow after you’ve fully assessed the
issue to let me know whether this will be sufficient.”
Show that you support the mentee.
“It’s important to me that you succeed with this project. I want this to come
out well for you and the user. So tomorrow I want you to come fully prepared
with your assessment so we can make sure that we meet the commitment we
made.”
Giving Constructive Feedback
Feedback is open, honest, timely, two-way communication between people.

Frequent constructive feedback in the work place increases performance and
provides motivation for continuing improvement. It doesn‘t cost anything to
use except taking the time to pay attention to the mentee.
Feedback is given to improve performance and encourage goal achievement,
not to blame or criticize.
“When performance is measured, performance improves. When

performance is measured and reported back, the rate of improvement
accelerates.” --Thomas S Monson
The old saying, ―The squeaky wheel gets the grease‖ usually applies to
feedback. The exceptional performers, good and bad, get noticed, and the rest
of the workers just plug along. The greatest return for your efforts is in
motivating and improving the performance of this 80% of your work force.
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Grow model for coaching
Goals
Reality
Options
Wrap Up
These questions form the basis of a
coaching session. They are suggested
questions only. It is important to adapt
them to your own style. Each coaching
session should work through each part
of the GROW process.
Goals
(Set goals, write them down, and establish what person wants out of the
session)
 What do you want to achieve out of this coaching session/ relationship?

 What are the SMART goals you want to achieve?
 Why are you hoping to achieve this goal?
 What are the expectations of others?
 Who else needs to know about the plan?
 How will you inform them
Reality
(Let them tell their story, invite self assessment, what’s happening, when does
this happen, what effect does it have, other factors)
 What is the reality of the current situation?

 Why haven‘t you reached this goal already?
 What is really stopping you?
 Do you know anyone who has achieved that goal?
 What can you learn from them?
Options
(Brainstorm options, ask – don’t tell, empower, ensure choice, how can you
move toward the goal, what has worked in the past, )
 What could you do as a first step?

 What else could you do?
 What would happen if you did nothing?
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Wrap Up
(Identify specific steps and any obstacles, write action plan)
 Where does this goal fit in with your personal priorities at the moment?
 What obstacles do you expect to meet? How will you overcome them?
 How committed are you to this goal?
 What steps do you need to take to achieve this?
Possible barriers in Coaching and Mentoring:
 Culture fit
 Clearly defined goals
 Relationship unsuitable
 Business goals move
 Measurement is not easy
 Meetings are delayed and not held regularly
 Feedback is ineffective
 Lack of responsibility and accountability
 Failure to explore and manage expectations
 Lack of management support
 Over dependence on the mentor
 Suspicion of the mentor/organisation motives
 Politics become involved
 Not enough resources to go around and cost
 No support from the organisation
 No time
Signs of Success
 Behaviour has changed

 Results and goals have been achieved
 Progress and growth
 Forms part of culture
 People guide people = great succession/knowledge
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sharing
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Coaching and Mentoring Manual

Workinfo.com 3rd Floor, West Wing

Coaching and Mentoring Manual

© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

Copyright subsists in this material. No portion of this Manual may be reproduced in

Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

All enquiries should be addressed to:

Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

Tel: +27 (0)861 967 5463

© 2008, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

Coaching and Mentoring Manual

© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

Why is Coaching & Mentoring So Important? 7

WHAT IS COACHING AND WHAT IS MENTORING? 7

The meaning of Coaching: 7

What does Mentoring mean? 9

Formal v informal mentoring relationships 11

The Benefits of Coaching for Organisations 11

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND MENTORING 13

BUSINESS COACHING & MENTORING 13

Executive Coaching & Mentoring 14

Performance Coaching and mentoring 15

Skills coaching & mentoring 15

Personal coaching & mentoring 16

HOW DOES COACHING AND MENTORING COMPARE WITH OTHER SERVICES? 17

IS COACHING JUST THERAPY BY ANOTHER NAME? 19

MENTORING VERSUS OTHER FORMS OF DEVELOPMENT 20

Two schools of mentoring 21

Coaching and Mentoring Manual

© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

EXPECTATIONS AND CHARACTERISTICS OF A MENTOR 24

STYLES OF COACHING AND MENTORING 26

Recognizable Coaching Styles 27

CONTEXT FOR EFFECTIVE BUSINESS COACH OR FORMAL MENTOR 30

INTER PERSONAL COMMUNICATION 30

Transaction between ego states 31

Strokes and Games 32

ISSUES INFLUENCING INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 33

Communication Barriers between men & women: 34

Coaching and Mentoring Manual

© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

Face to Face Communication 36

ESTABLISHING THE REALITY 39

COACHING FOR RESULTS 43

PROVIDING POSITIVE FEEDBACK 47

FEEDBACK ON PROBLEM PERFORMANCE 49

GIVING CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK 52

GROW MODEL FOR COACHING 53

Coaching and Mentoring Manual

© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

POSSIBLE BARRIERS IN COACHING AND MENTORING: 54

Coaching and Mentoring Manual

© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

Why is Coaching & Mentoring So Important?

Coaching and mentoring helps both organisations and mentees to address

 Reconciling individuals' goals and attitudes with organisational goals and

What Is Coaching And What Is Mentoring?

Coaching and Mentoring Manual

© 2009, Workplace Performance Technologies (Pty) Ltd

Research and history shows us that individuals and organisations rarely

However lasting and powerful change is achieved when people:

 recognise the need to improve and believe that improvement and

Coaches achieve the above by applying leading-edge continuous improvement