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VAW, or violence against women, means any act that results in harm and
disproportionately affects women. The root cause of VAW lies in unequal power relations
between men and women in almost all facets of life. Some examples of VAW include
domestic violence, rape and sexual harassment.
The United Nations Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women defines
VAW as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical,
sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts,
coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life”.
VAW was recognised as a violation of fundamental human rights in 1993, less than two
decades ago, officially through the Declaration on the Elimination of Violence Against
Women by the United Nations General Assembly. Women’s movements across the world
are continuously bringing to light new dimensions and different forms of VAW.
It often refers to violence between spouses, or spousal abuse while attempting to physically
or psychologically dominate others.
Violence in the domestic sphere is usually perpetrated by males who are, or who have been,
in positions of trust and intimacy and power – husbands, boyfriends, fathers, fathers-in-
law, stepfathers, brothers, uncles, sons, or other relatives.
Shocking Truths
• 6 million American women are beaten each year by their husbands or boyfriends.
4,000 of them are killed
• Women are nine times more likely to be assaulted in their own home than on the
street
• 25% of all female psychiatric patients who attempt suicide are victims of domestic
violence
• 85% of women in substance abuse programs are victims of domestic violence
• 50% of the children in foster care are there because of domestic violence
• A third of women in hospital emergency rooms at any given time are there because
of domestic violence
• Every 9 seconds a woman is being battered
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• Relationship violence is the #1 cause of injury to women ages 15-44; more than
rapes, muggings, and car accidents combined.
• 80% of rapes are perpetrated by someone the victim knows.
• 42% of rape victims tell NO ONE about the assault.
• 1,247 women and 440 men were killed by an intimate partner in the year 2000.
• In 2004, there were approximately two domestic violence incidents reported to law
enforcement each hour of every day.
Intimate Relationships
Violent relationships for the most part start with romance and love. In the beginning there
are kisses, flowers, long walks in the park and even poems written with tenderness. Once
the abuse begins, these relationships are hard to escape because they start out with
romance and continue being romantic even while they are abusive. A healthy relationship
is based on trust, communication, honesty, and love. When some one loves another person
they care enough to make sure their partner is happy.
Healthy Relationships
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Unhealthy Relationships
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Cultural
• Gender
• Cultural definitions of appropriate sex roles
• Expectations of roles within relationships
• Belief in the inherent superiority of males
• Values that give men proprietary rights over women and girls
• Notion of the family as the private sphere and under male control
• Customs of marriage (bride price/dowry)
• Acceptability of violence as a means to resolve conflict
Economic causes
Legal causes
Abuse
When the time and circumstances
are right he begins his attack.
This is a display of power & control over his victim.
Set-up Guilt
Fantasy Rationalization
Here the abuser fantasizes about past & future The abuser blames the victim to
abuses of the victim. These fantasies fuel the justify his own behavior, “you
abuser’s anger to help him move into the set-up should shut up when I tell you
stage. to, then I wouldn’t have to hit you.”
Normal Behavior
Here the abuser acts as if nothing has happened. Behavior is normal
This period gives the victim hope that won’t happen again.
In many cases people wonder why women don’t just leave their abusive partner. It is easier
said than done because women face many economic, social & educational barriers that
then pulls them back to the conclusion that they are better off with him. These are barriers
such as “Where will I go?” and “How will I support myself & the kids?”. Not only are these
women faced with the reality of where will they go, but the partner also threatens that he
will find her and kill her. Abused women are often so isolated from the world that they
don’t know how to get help or where they can go. The husband has destroyed all
communication with family or friends so there is door opened for the abused women. Other
times the man has destroyed the women’s self esteem thoughts such as, who would ever love
me and I’m worth nothing.
Non-FATAL OUTCOMES
• Depression
• Fear
• Anxiety
• Low self-esteem
• Sexual dysfunction
• Eating problems
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder
• Post traumatic stress disorder
FATAL OUTCOMES
• Suicide
• Homicide
• Maternal mortality
• HIV/AIDS
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Considering the taboo in most countries that surrounds incest or the sexual abuse of
children and adolescents within the family, this is one of the most invisible forms of
violence. Because the crime is perpetrated most often by a father, stepfather, grandfather,
brother, uncle, or another male relative in a position of trust, the rights of the child are
usually sacrificed in order to protect the name of the family and that of the adult
perpetrator. However, studies have shown that from 40 to 60 per cent of known sexual
assaults within the family are committed against girls aged 15 years and younger,
regardless of region or culture.
Boys are swamped with influences outside of the home — from friends, the neighborhood,
television, the internet, music, the movies... everything they see around them. They hear all
kinds of messages about what it means to "be a man" — that they have to be tough, be in
control. Sometimes it’s hard to know how to "be a man" in a relationship. So teach boys
early, and teach them often, that there is no place for violence in a relationship.
• Teach boys that violence against women and girls is wrong. Sometimes the only
messages young boys get are the wrong ones. Many young men need advice and
direction on how to behave towards women and they want to talk to you about it.
•
• Teach Early. It's never too soon to talk to a child about violence. Tell him that
"hands are not for hitting." Let him know how you think he should express his
anger and frustration — and what is out of bounds.
•
• Bring It Up. A kid will rarely approach you and ask for guidance on how to treat
women. But that doesn't mean he doesn't need or want it. Try watching TV with
him or listening to his music. If you see or hear things that depict violence against
women, tell him what you think about it.
•
• Listen. Hear what he has to say. Listen to how he and his friends talk about girls.
Ask him if he's ever seen abusive behavior in his friends.
•
• Tell Him How. Teach him ways to express his anger without using violence. When
he gets mad, tell him he can walk it out, talk it out, or take a time out.
•
• Be a Role Model. Fathers, coaches and men who spend time with boys or teens will
have the greatest impact when they "walk the walk."
•
• Teach Often. Use every opportunity to reinforce the message that violence has no
place in a relationship.
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Do You:
Become quiet when he/she is around and feel afraid of making him/her upset?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about
yourself?
Feel like no matter you do, your partner is never happy with you?
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would say if
you broke up?
Stop seeing your friends and family members, becoming more and more isolated?
Find yourself explaining bruises to family or friends?
Warning Signs
When person is with partner, the partner calls them names or puts them down in
front of other people
Abuser acts extremely jealous when partner talks to people of the opposite sex
Before the relationship, the person was more outgoing and involved with family,
school activities, and friends
Person becomes secretive about the relationship and doesn’t want to talk about it
Abuser discourages or criticizes person for their beliefs, interests, and ideas
Person has injuries they can’t explain, or their excuses don’t seem to make sense
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Abuser forces or talks partner into doing anything sexually that they don’t want to
do, such as forcing partner to have sex without protection
Abuser displays controlling and possessive behaviors such as saying who the partner
can and cannot hang out with, what they can not wear, where they can and cannot
go, and who they can and cannot talk to
Safety Plan
Safety Plan:
Birth Certificates
Social Security Cards
Driver’s License
Keys
Passports
Green Card/Work Permit
Welfare Identification
Money
Checkbook
Credit Cards
School Registration
Restraining Orders, etc.
How to Respond
• Laws that allow perpetrators to be removed from the home and provides for the
victim getting full custody of her children.
• Emotional Support
• Self-help support groups.
• Empowerment modeling.
• Crisis Intervention
• Crisis hot lines.
• Shelters or other emergency residential facilities.
• Medical services.
• Transportation networks.
• Access to a custody of children and property matters.
• Financial support.
• Restraining and protective orders.
• Housing and safe accommodations.
• Access to community services
• Self-esteem and confidence-building sessions.
• Parenting support services.
THINK AGAIN.
She may be ME and
I FIGHT LIKE A GIRL