A Let t er f r om t h e Di r ect or
By Aar on
Vol u m e 49A, I ssu e 1
10 Ti ps an d Tr i ck s f or t h e Soci al l y Aw k w ar d
By Rachel Alper t-W isnia
1. W hen a conver sation stops, ask to go to the
bathr oom .
2. If you?r e tr ying to leave but a per son just
w on?t shut up, pr etend that your m om /dad is
calling and you have to go.
3. If you?r e w alking dow n the str eet alone and
you see som eone you know , pr etend to be on
the phone to avoid social inter action.
4. If you see a fam iliar face, just sm ile. DON?T
say anything. Speaking alw ays m akes it w or se.
5. If you m ake eye contact w ith som eone
w hile star ing at them , don?t look aw ay.
Pr etend that you ar e looking at som ething
past their head. Looking aw ay is alw ays
obvious.
6. If a r elative tells you how m uch bigger
you?ve gotten, say ?I know ! I?m gonna gr ow
taller than you!?
7. If you say ?you too? w hen a m ovie theater
w or ker says ?Enjoy the m ovie?, just don?t
acknow ledge it.
8. If you have to play in your head the r eaction
of som ething you w ant to say, just don?t say it.
9. Don?t high five people. It?s the m ost
aw kw ar d gestur e you can m ake.
10. W hen you?r e in the m iddle of tw o people
and you don?t know w ho to look at w hile
talking, just choose one of them to look at. If
the other one asks w hy you?r e not looking at
them , just say you thought they w ouldn?t find
it inter esting.
PS: These are all actually serious. Some of them
may seem kind of weird, but I swear they help.
Dear CRCAP,
This is it! The beginning of another w eir d
and w onder ful adventur e at CRCAP, full of
cr eativity, str angely color ed r eptiles, fr antic and
flicker ing fair y dust, and ever ything else that
your im aginations can dr eam up. We?ve been
w aiting all year to w elcom e you back, and now
it begins.
This is our 49 th action packed sum m er
and w e ar e r eaching for the star s and beyond.
W hatever dr eam s you have w e?ll m ake it into
ar t. W hatever bizar r e notions dance ar ound
your heads, those w ill spill for th into paint, clay,
m usic, w or ds, cloth, and stone. Buckle up, get
your w eir d hats on, and let?s go!
OH NO!
By Saskia
Hello, innocent cam per s. A r um or has spr ead
thr oughout the r est of the w or ld ? CRCAP has
stolen the book on how to be the best sum m er
cam p ever ! Soon the FBI w ill invade cam p!
Br ace your self, innocent cam per s! They ar e
com ing for you!
W HAT?S UP W I TH THE NEW BUI LDI NG! ?! ?! ?!
By Eliza Kam holz
I?ve been going to this cam p for 3 year s now and
last year I clear ly r em em ber Aar on saying that
this year the new building w as going to be done
this year. Now , w her ever you ar e, go to the new
building. It is BARELY a building at all. Ther e is
only r eally half a building. Now this m eans that
all of the activities that used to be in that
building now ar e som ew her e else. This m eans
that all the other activities that w er en't in that
building ar e cr ow ded. THIS IS AN
OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!! PLEASE r epor t this to Aar on
befor e things get out of hand. Now , the other
buildings ar e also out of shape. As you know , the
lunch r oom back stair case can?t be used because
ther e is a w ir e that is show ing. This m eans that
ear lier ther e w as a CRAZY big line [r em em ber I
w r ote this befor e lunch so I?m just guessing] for
lunch. Once again: EVERYBODY TELL AARON
THAT THE NEW BUILDING NEEDS TO BE DONE
SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ?ve been w al k i n g ar ou n d cam p, f or l i k e, 5 m i n u t es
an d I w as t h i n k i n g. ?W hy does Wal k er w or k at
CRCAP??
By Chloe Cr able, Walker Adam s, and Eli Gr assi
I?ve discover ed Walker steals the souls of the Daily
Double Per iod 3 kids to stay young. This is a ver y
im por tant m atter. STOP LAUGHING. Ever y year he
takes m or e and m or e souls as the cam ps popular ity
r ises, he does it slow ly, and then changes them into
m ini Walker s. Take Walker Adam s for exam ple, since
he?s been her e for 5 year s, Walker has alr eady tur ned
Walker Adam s into a m ini Walker. Walker , the soul
eating m ango. All he does is lay ar ound and eat kids?
souls. Walker Adam s?s soul w as eaten on 2/30/2015.
Walker w or ks at Daily Double specifically to har vest
all their soul and em otion pour ed into the ar ticles the
childr en w r ite. But he is getting stopped. Ther e has
been a change in the Daily Double editing system .
Walker is no longer the only editor. They ar e splitting
it up betw een 5 editor s! Stop the w alk . #NotM ySoul.
W h at desser t ar e you ?
By Noah Fallon
Answ er each question w ith yes, or no. Count up how
m any questions you answ er ed w ith ?Yes? and w e w ill
tell you if you ar e cookies, or apple pie!
A.) Do you like sim ple things?
B.) Do you have a TON of fr iends?
C.) Would you enjoy tons of people follow ing you?
(Fr om being popular )
D.) Do you agr ee that w ar m w eather is better than
cold w eather ?
If you got 0-2 YES, it m eans you ar e an apple pie! You
like w hen things ar e easy to under stand and sim ple,
and you believe that ever ything you see is w hat it
should be, not m or e in depth. You ar e nice and
com for ting to other s, and people adm ir e you but not
ever yone notices you in the cr ow d. How it r elates to
apple pie: Apple pie is not a batch and ther e is no one
else near the pie as it?s just in one. So ther e?s no one to
notice you.
If you got 3-4 yes, it m eans you ar e cookies! You love
to exam ine things and discover secr ets. You also enjoy
attention and people w ho look up to you. You ar e the
per son that stands out of the cr ow d, and they have a
lot of fr iends. How it r elates to cookies: Cookies ar e
alw ays in batches and w hen you eat one, that one
w ith the bite is out of the cr ow d as no other ones
cur r ently have a bite.
An i n t er v i ew w i t h t h e n ew Dai l y
Dou bl e Per i od 2 Cou n sel or , Sor en ! ! !
By M ia Gor don
Q. W hat is your favorite vegetable?
A. Par snips, because w hen you r oast
them they becom e sw eet.
Q. W hat is your favorite movie?
A. Reds, because it m akes histor y fun.
Q. W hat is your favorite tv show?
A. Br eaking Bad because it has a ser ies
long stor y ar c.
Q. W hat?s your favorite color?
A. Gr een.
Q. W hat is your favorite animal?
A. Platipi.
Q. W hy did you decide to come back as a
counselor?
A. Because Walker told m e how good
childr en?s souls taste.
Annnnnd that concludes our inter view
w ith Daily Double Per iod 2 counselor ,
Sor en! Welcom e to cam p!
Hypn osi s
By Saskia
Hello, cam per s. ?Let m e sing you a
song that w ill hypnotise you!? Tw o
thousand year s ago, Aar on the Fir st had
a hypnosis class. The class w as canceled
due to hypnotised cam per s. Rum or has it
that tw o thousand year s later , Aar on
Cow bell w ould tur n into a hypnosis
teacher ! Watch out cam per s! Aar on
m ight hypnotise you any second!
W h at w i l l sh oes l ook l i k e i n 50 year s?
By Eliza Kam holz
In 50 year s shoes w ill float and you
w on?t have to w alk at all. It?ll be like
r oller skates but in the sky. W hen you
w alk your dog [or cat if you ar e the
devil] the dog w ill have on big floaty
shoes too!! That's cool.
5 Th i n gs Peopl e W i t h ou t
Gl asses Ar e M i ssi n g Ou t On
By Henr y Thacher
Hihi, my nam e?s Henr y, and I
just got new fr am es for my
glasses. They?r e w ine or
bur gundy-colour ed, and I
decided to do a section on w hat
people ar e m issing out on.
1. Style. Glasses ar e an
aw esom e accessor y to any
outfit, and have the bonus
featur e of enhancing your
vision, w hich br ings us to
num ber ?
2. Per fect vision. People w ith a
fr esh pr escr iption usually have
20/20 vision, the highest level
of vision that can occur
natur ally, as opposed to people
w ithout glasses, w ho usually
have just under per fect vision.
3. M inim al expense. This one
r efer s to people w ho choose to
use contact lenses. W ith
glasses, you only pay for a
pr escr iption about ever y year ,
and fr am es w hen you lose or
outgr ow them , w her eas w ith
contact lenses, you have to pay
for a new pair ever y day.
They?r e cheaper in the
m om ent, but over a year ,
glasses w ins.
4. You can pr esent m any
differ ent outw ar d
appear ances. If you w ear
hor n-r im m ed glasses, you look
ver y intelligent and efficient,
w hich m akes a good fir st
im pr ession, w hile lar ge,
bug-eye ones give you a sor t of
Katy Per r y vibe.
5. Finally, if you w ear glasses,
people ar e less likely to tr y to
hit you in the face, w hich
m eans your good looks w ill
never suffer w hen you get
picked on.
W h at Type of Fr u i t ar e W h at ar e t h e best book s
You ? you h ave r ead so f ar t h i s
By Oisin Asaad year ?
By Ella Fogler
1) Do you like sports?
A- Yes, volleyball LaRose, says Walker. It is
B- No, I like to r ead about 2 fam ilies, but one of
C- Yes. By the w ay w e like the fam ilies had som ething
boats because w e ar e the ver y sad happen to them
shape of a boat that br ings the fam ilies
D- Yes, sw im m ing together (says Walker
again).
2) W ho is your favorite Harry
Potter character? Percy Jackson, says
A- Her m ione Roxanne (the kid). It is
B- Dum bledor e about a boy w hose par ents
C- Ron ar e gods and fight
D- Har r y m onster s (says Roxanne
the kid again).
3) W hat?s your favorite
country? Stories of Your Life, says
A- Fr ance Sor en. It is a sm all
B- Sw itzer land collection of shor t stor ies
C- China that ar e science fiction
D- U.K. (says Sor en again).
4) W hat?s your favorite If you have r ead any other
movie? good books this year , com e
A- Har r y Potter find m e, even if you?r e an
B- Star War s adult. Again, my nam e is
C- M inions Ella Fogler and my gr oupie
D- W illy Wonka adults ar e Cooper , Br ian
and Jor dyn.
5) Favorite Food
A- Pineapple So, if you cannot find m e,
B- Blueber r y ask my gr oupie adults or
C- Str aw ber r y find m e at Festival Per iod
D- Chocolate ice cr eam and per haps lunch outside.
Answ er s: Thank You!
M ostly A?s- Pineapple
M ostly B?s- Str aw ber r y
M ostly C?s- Banana
M ostly D?s- Blueber r y
Hi , I ?m ____________ W h at Ki n d Of Car t oon Ch ar act er Ar e
You ?
Hello ever yone. Welcom e to my ar ticle. Quick By Lucia Saenz
histor y of m e. M y r eal nam e is ______, and I
have been going to CRCAP for _ year s. This W hat is your favorite color?
year I am going for _ sessions. W hy all the A: Yellow
blanks you ask? Because I don't w ant you to B: Br ow n
know facts about m e, instead, I w ant you to C: Black and Red
be only able to im agine? I don?t do either
per iod of Daily Double but I'm going to com e W hich is most like your personality?
to do my ar ticles dur ing Festival Per iod. A: Goofy
W hoops, that?s alr eady too m uch B: Tr ies to be funny/Cur ious
infor m ation. Now , enough info about m e, C: Adventur ous/ Excited
let?s get onto the new s.
W hat do you like to do?
WALKER: Accor ding to my sour ces, Walker A: Be am azing
has been denounced as a Alien and has now B: Explor e w ith fr iends
been r evealed to be a SOUL- SUCKING C: Explor e
M ANGO. W hen I asked the SSM (Walker )
him self, he said: ?Hm m ? he said, and after a W hat are you most likely to wear?
bit of thinking he said ?I am an innocent A: Br ow n shir t, Tie
victim , and I w ill abuse my pow er s as editor B: Or ange Shir t, Gr een Pants
to m ake sur e this ar ticle never gets C: Red Pants
published.? Well, you ar e all obviously
r eading this now , so obviously he didn't W hich of these are you most likely to do?
follow thr ough. Still, be w ar ned of the A: Cook and Go Fishing
danger s of the SOUL-SUCKING M ANGO. This B: M ake w eir d noises and tag along w ith
is not a theor y. THIS IS TRUTH! fr iends
C: Dr ess up and lear n new things
SARAH D?S FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS: Sar ah
D?Angelo has been spotted m aking fr iendship W hat is your favorite food?
br acelets as a festival offer ing again. Last A: Bur ger s
year , she m ade these fr iendship br acelets B: Cookies and M ilk
w ith a lar ge cr ow d for ALL OF SESSION 1! C: BANANANANANANANAS!
M Y question is, how , and w ill she do it again?
The m ain r eason I am w r iting about this is If you picked m ostly A?s Then you ar e
that it seem s a little odd to m e that she w as Spongebob Squar epants
able to get the sam e cr ow d of people to com e If you picked m ostly B?s Then you ar e
m ake these br acelets ever y single day! M y Goofy (Fr om M ickey m ouse)
theor y is that Sar ah does som ething to those If you picked m ostly C?s Then you ar e
br acelets of her s to hypnotize those cam per s M ickey M ouse
to com e back and m ake hypno-br acelets w ith
her , and her ar my of hypno-fr iend cam per
w ill eventually? . TAKE? . OVER? . THE
WORLD! Rem em ber , this is not like the SSM ,
w hich is tr uth. This is only a theor y, a theor y
that I w ill confir m or deny next issue, w hen I
ask Sar ah D about these accusations.

Well, that?s enough new s for today. I w ill

pr obably m ake a new issue soon. If I don't,
then know that it w as either Walker the Soul
Sucking M ango or Sar ah D?s ar my of
hypno-fr iends doing. I hope for my ow n good
that I see you later. Watch Out,
INH