Documenti di Didattica
Documenti di Professioni
Documenti di Cultura
Country representatives
Australia Italy Portugal
Christopher Balmford Christopher Williams Miguel Martinho
Christopher@balmford.com cjwilliams72@hotmail.com miguel.martinho@gmail.com
Belgium Japan Slovak Republic
Olivier Beaujean Kyal Hill Ing. Ján Rendek
o.beaujean@droitsquotidiens.be kyal.hill@hplt.jp jan.rendek@gmail.com
Canada Malaysia South Africa
Nicole Fernbach Juprin Wong-Adamal Candice Burt
juricom@juricom.com jadamal@gmail.com candice@simplified.co.za
Chile Mexico Spain
Claudia Poblete Olmedo Rosa Margarita Galán Vélez Raquel Taranilla
claudia.poblete@ucv.cl mgalan@itam.mx raqueltaranilla@gmail.com
Finland The Netherlands Sweden
Heikki Mattila Tialda Sikkema Helena Englund Hjalmarsson
heikki.mattila@ulapland.fi tialda.sikkema@hu.nl helena.englund@
France New Zealand sprakkonsulterna.se
Jenny Gracie Lynda Harris UK
jenny@partnersforlaw.eu lynda@write.co.nz Daphne Perry
Germany Nigeria daphne.perry@clarifynow.co.uk
Siegfried Breiter Dr. Tunde Opeibi USA
s.breiter@t-online.de drtundeopeibi@gmail.com Prof Joseph Kimble
Hong Kong Pakistan kimblej@cooley.edu
Elizabeta Grindey Mazhar Ilahi Zimbabwe
elizabethgrindey@doj.gov.hk mazharilahi@hotmail.com Walter Zure
Israel Philippines wzure@cbz.co.zw
Myla Kaplan Victor Eleazar All other countries:
mylak@law.haifa.ac.il attyvye@msn.com Please contact the USA
representative
Available from
Carolina Academic Press
(www.cap-press.com)
at a 10% discount;
from amazon.com; or from
bookdepository.com
(with free worldwide shipping).
• Then, the participants draft legal texts or Next, the participants analyse the character-
excerpts of legal texts. istics of the following types of legal documents,
taking into consideration the writing con-
• Lastly, the participants evaluate and straints of these types of documents and their
improve the drafted texts. intended audiences:
• Documents with a regulatory impact and
administrative letters.
• Judicial documents.
• Contractual documents.
• A manual that presents an overview of all • The participants devise a scenario giving
writing techniques, application exercises, rise to the drafting of a legal text.
and, for assessment or rewriting, examples • They determine:
of legal texts.
– The issuer of the message.
• Flash cards of the course’s five steps and15
– Its intended audience.
good writing practices.
– The objective to be achieved.
• An evaluation grid for evaluating the clarity
of the legal text for its intended audience, – The channel, i.e. the type of legal text
and a solutions grid for the legal writer. used (documents with a regulatory
impact and administrative letters; judicial
The course’s beginning: what is at issue documents; or contractual documents).
with clear legal texts?
Step 2: analyse and summarise the informa-
“Why produce clear legal texts?” That is the tion
first question put to the course participants.
• The participants use a technique taught in
Beginning with an example situation is most the course, such as “mind-mapping” or
effective means to answering this question. “the seven questions to gather the
Standing in the reader’s shoes, the participants information to be conveyed.”
The following checklist will help legal writers communicate effectively in writing be-
fore submitting a legal document or law journal article to an editor (check one).
1. Yes, true of me
2. No, not true of me
3. Don’t know
ness, and other potentially harmful attributes. Curry v. This revision reduces the sentence length to 10
words from 21, and it adds specificity by
State, 674 S.W.2d 495, 497 (Tex. Ct. App. 1984). In ex- changing “instrument” to “weapon.” The
revision maintains the passive voice construc-
tion, which is correct grammatically but not
trapolation of the aforementioned, the Curry court preferred for its lack of directness.
first that students read in my course, they are To show students how to address their indi-
often relieved to see the legalese translated vidual weaknesses, I select at least one dense
into plain English. In addition, the sample re- excerpt from their early writing assignments
visions provide an opportunity to reinforce and rewrite it in plain language. These revi-
my plain language principles, including mak- sion lessons include a word count for the
ing every word count, using the active voice, original and the revision. (My record is re-
and keeping sentences short. This initial les- ducing a whopping 183-word sentence into
son causes students to buy in to the idea that two sentences totaling 62 words). In addition
plain language is best. to the revision, I include an explanation of
the change and point out that the revision re-
As a second step, I create an in-class contest.
duced wordiness, not meaning.
I urge students to examine my revisions and
try to make them more concise. I also high- The following screenshot shows an excerpt
light a few other examples of particularly from a student’s first legal memorandum and
egregious sentences from the same opinion two Plain English Revision Lessons in the
and encourage students to cut out as many comments field.
words as possible—without cutting out
As this example shows, rewriting students’
meaning. The student who revises away the
sentences when they are ambiguous and
most words wins. This informal competition wordy is challenging. In some cases, the lack
provokes enthusiasm and motivates students
of clarity in the students’ work means that
to focus on plain language.
that any revision might misinterpret the writ-
Additionally, the contest forces students to ers’ intent. But if the revision fails to correctly
practice the plain language revisions they assess the students’ meaning, the exercise al-
have seen me do. And it often results in one lows for an additional lesson: If you want
student taking another student’s revision and your professor, judge, colleague, or supervis-
making it better—which shows students that ing attorney to understand your meaning,
revision is a long and layered process. then write plainly so interpretation is unnec-
essary.
But I have found that revising other writers’
poor sentences does not always help students The Plain English Revision Lessons and ex-
revise their own. Even with early lessons on planations take time, but they produce many
plain language, students regularly use jargon “light bulb” moments. Students who
and legalese in their first writing assign- struggled with a limited word count see how
ments. So within a comprehensive critique of many words they wasted—and how much
each student’s paper, I include at least one more analysis and explanation they could
“Plain English Revision Lesson.” have added to their memorandum if they
rulemaking proceedings.
Example 1 Example 2
Clarity 70 December 2013 53
organizational emphasis, division of and prioritizing content. Thus, Example 2
topics through paragraph headings, presents a multiple step process for the
symmetric columns, and white space, reader in which information cannot be
draw the reader’s visual attention to the obtained by mere skimming.
most important components of the clause
Creating large blocks of text is not the only
without the reader doing much more
obstacle to creating visual clarity. Although
than taking a few second glances at the
varied organization may enhance absorption
document.
of content through visual clarity, too much
In Example 2 (which contains the exact varied organization in addition to asymmetri-
same wording as Example 1, but does not cal organization detracts from clarity. Consider
include the purposeful visual separations), Example 3:
the reader is first drawn to the visual of a
Similar to the clause created in all block
large block of text without consideration
text, Example 3 presents its own challenges
of content. The reader, rather than
to quickly determining and prioritizing
instantaneously gathering content, must
content. First, the boldfaced text draws the
momentarily consider the physical task of
reader’s eyes, however, the lack of uniformity
reading the block of text while attempting
in terms being bolded, underlined, or itali-
to orient his or her brain to organizing
cized forces the reader to try to disengage
from the visual to
1. MAINTENANCE: focus on the content
Tenant agrees to maintain the Premises throughout the Term of the Agreement to determine the
in as good condition and repair as the time of commencement of this significance of the
Agreement, normal wear and tear excepted. Tenant must notify Landlord of content that is
any major repairs that need to occur. Major repairs include the heating issues, created with other
air conditioning issues, sanitation issues, hot water issues, and any other fonts. Second, the
issues that affect the major use of the apartment. Tenant must report issues to asymmetric and
a central voice mail service at any time. Major repairs will completed with 72
lengthy list at the
hours of reporting, Tenant shall receive a ten dollar ($10) deduction from rent
per day for every day the repair is not completed after the 72 hour grace
bottom of the page
period. Tenant will be prorated for the part of the day the repair is not further forces the
completed. If repair cannot be made within 72 hours, with no fault of Landlord, reader to engage in
Landlord may avoid the ten dollar ($10) penalty if the delay is reported to another type of
Tenant within 24 hours, and a time set to repair as soon as possible. It is visual shift as well
Tenant’s responsibility to arrange a mutually convenient time for entity as a mental repri-
repairing problem to fix problem. If this mutually convenient time is not within oritizing of content.
the 72 hour grace period, there will be no ten dollar ($10) penalty per day. Finally, the overall
The Landlord promises to keep all Provisions in working order. Provisions include: lack of symmetry in
(a) Stove, structure and mis-
(b) Refrigerator sing white space
(c) Microwave
between segments
(d) Dishwasher, Kitchen Sink and Faucets
(e) Kitchen Cabinets
causes the reader
(f) Bathroom sink, Bathtub, Toilet to first assess the
(g) any and all Doors disconcerting
(h) any and all Attachments to said Doors ele-ments of the
(i) any and all Fixtures visual picture being
(j) any and all Electrical Connections presented as op-
(k) any and all Water Piping and or Connections posed to being able
(l) Mailbox; Two Fire Extinguishers to quickly absorb
(m) Washer and dryer for clothes important content.
(n) Storage cubicle Thus, the overall
Said storage cubical is located in the basement, tenant shall provide result of the visual
their own combination lock and provide management with the
organization is to
combinations
(o) communal access to the Dumpster
force the reader out
trash is collected once a week of the skim mode
and into a mode
Example 3
© 2013 S Stableford
sstableford@une.edu
© 2013 A Riffenburgh
ariffenburgh@salud.unm.edu
Sue Stableford, MPH, MSB, is
the Director of the Health
Literacy Institute at the
University of New England in
Portland, Maine. For 25 years,
she has provided health literacy/
plain language consulting,
training, and materials
development services. She works
with hospitals, public health
agencies, health plans,
pharmaceutical firms, quality assurance organizations,
and others across the country. She also participates in
research projects, publishes in professional journals, and
teaches in health professions programs. Sue is a founding
member of the Clear Language Group, a national
consortium of specialists in health literacy, plain
language, and cross cultural communication.
40 Pobloción vulnerable
5. Can literates
Pobloción por carencios sociales read in Mexico? The
30 no pobre 28.8%
53.7% context
20 In Mexico, there are
Pobloción no pobre y no states where almost
10 vulnerable
19.3% two persons from
0 each ten are illiterate
(INEGI, 2011). Al-
Figure 1: Distribution of the Mexican population according to their economic level (in average) though Mexico has
(CONEVAL, 2012: 23). literacy statistics
similar to countries
GRÁFICA 1.2 like Italy, Argentina
NÚMERO DE PERSONAS, SEGÚN SITUACIÓN DE POBREZA MÉXICO, 2010 or Spain (more than
100 90% of the popula-
Pobloción en situación de pobreza
extrema, 12.8 milliones Pobloción
tion is literate)
90
en (UNESCO, 2012), the
situación reality is very differ-
80
Pobloción en situación de pobreza de
moderada, 39.3 milliones pobreza ent. In 80 years, the
70 52.1 average of the illiter-
milliones
60 ate population
decreased from 61.2%
50 Pobloción vulnerable por
ingresos, 6.4 milliones (1930) to 6.9% (2010)
40 (INEGI, 2011).
Pobloción
Pobloción vulnerable por
30 no pobre
carencios sociales 32.4 milliones
What does it mean?
60.5
milliones
Firstly, that there is
20
an enormous literate
Pobloción no pobre y no
10 vulnerable 27.1 milliones population whose
parents or grandpar-
0
ents were or are
illiterate. Secondly,
Figure 2: Distribution of the Mexican population according to their economic level (in absolute much of the literate
numbers) (CONEVAL, 2012: 24).
Figure 5:Justicia y Lengua (Justice and Language): “our website” (Martínez Villarroya, 2013):