100 lessons from Tony Robbins’

Business Mastery 2017

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This is something I should have done ten years ago. With WUA’s
management and many friends I attended Tony Robbins’ Business
Mastery last week at the Amsterdam RAI. We’ve learned a lot
about how to do business, how to handle challenges, negotiation
tips & tricks, mentality, spiritual strength, and lots, lots more.
 In recent years, Tony Robbins, let’s call him a life coach and a
motivational speaker, has conducted in-depth interviews with 50
self-made billionaires, and asked them about magic formulas for
business success. In this program, he shared the commonalities
and lessons. In this blog, I would like to share with you 100
lessons, tips, tricks, and tactics of these 5 days of intensive
training. Enjoy, learn, and pass them on!

1. We are gladiators! 80 percent of businesses no longer exist after 5

years. And after 10 years, 96 percent have disappeared. If you
start a business, you step into the arena and you’re a gladiator! Do
you survive, or do you perish?
2. A total of 5% of businesses reach a turnover of 1 million or more.
Only 0.4% of businesses reach 5 million or more. And 0.01%
reach a turnover of 10 million or more.
3. Develop an exit strategy and have it ready. Always! You never
know what might happen!
4. Consider your business an asset. Diversify here too, and never put
all your eggs in one basket.
5. The one with the most flexibility controls the system. This is the
story of two monks, one younger and one older monk. They are
not allowed to touch a woman. One day, they go for a walk. As
they get to a river, they encounter two women who want to cross.
They can’t swim. The older monk picks them up and carries them
across. They don’t say a word. Half a day later, the younger monk
asks: ‘How could you do that?’ It has been on his mind for half a
day, and he is frustrated. ‘Are you still thinking about that?’ the
older monk asks. ‘I let it go as soon as I put them down. Whereas
you have been occupied by it for half a day now…’
6. Together you’ll go further. Steer your team based on figures and
objectives. Not on emotions.
7. Fall in love with your customer. Not with your product.
8. Invest in your business, in your savings account, and in shares
(index funds long term, rarely does anyone beat the market by
themselves, and if you trade yourself you pay a lot of commission
and time).
9. Improve by a few percentage points in all areas of the funnel, and
you’ll soon double your revenue.
10. Figures and measurements are the key to optimization. Play
like Michael Jordan does, and continually measure your
performance, or go play somewhere else.
Download our free ebook: “The Digital Excellence Challenge”
11. Lower your costs by 10 percent: your profits will soon double.
12. Love Numbers. Love spreadsheets. They love you. You love
them.
13. Be a business owner, not an operator! Set your own targets
and figures. Ask the team how they are going to get there.
14. Beliefs and limiting beliefs. Use the following three-stage-
rocket in question form to tear down limiting beliefs. Question 1. Is
that really true? Create doubt. Question 2. What would it be like if
you didn’t have it? How would it feel? Question 3. What would it be
like if this new thing were no longer there? Then, people make a
choice. Often they choose the newer and better situation. And then
it “lights up like a Christmas tree” :-)
15. Ask the team questions, don’t give them answers. As a
leader, you only set goals.
16. Remain in a beautiful state. Solve problems systematically,
not ad hoc. Find the problem in your company’s value chain.
Everyone is responsible for this value chain together, and
therefore for the brand.
17. Organize mutual obligations in your company. This applies to
everyone.
18. Call! Pay a visit! Mail and SMS suck as means of
communication. And when you pay someone a visit, make sure
you have a good question and a good story: don’t sell nonsense,
and be well prepared.
19. Add perceived value for your customer. Like a small note on
your wife’s pillow that says “I love you”, it can be of great value. It’s
quick and inexpensive. Show you care!
20. Always exceed you customers’ expectations.
21. Add extreme value, more than anyone else.
22. Money-back guarantee!
23. What business are you in: immediately explain the benefits.
For example: WUA helps you sell far, far more on the web. We do
this for large and medium-sized businesses. By listening intently to
your customers. Would you like to know more?
24. Ask yourself: What is your X factor? What benefit to the
customer makes your company truly unique?
25. Create warmth and a connection within your team.
26. Talk to each team member at least twice a year.
27. 90 percent of all business in B2B comes from referrals!
28. Ensure a 20 percent increase in leads. Optimize calls,
appointments, conversion, and prices by 5 to 10 percent, and you’ll
double your turnover.
29. Talk about world affairs you both agree on. As a result, you
communicate with the same beliefs, which creates understanding
and a connection.
30. How quickly can you change? In a heartbeat!
31. Conversation with a customer: start with a lot of energy, and
finish calmly. Skip the social start (this is a USA tip). Don’t do
social talk until after the first 20 minutes. Indicate that you only
have an hour at most, and that things are very busy. Increase your
status. Also let them know that they are unable to buy now (for
example: the waiting list for new customers, like with Ferrari).
32. Start every change in a beautiful state. Otherwise you will
make the wrong choices. The best choices are made in a positive
state!
33. Raise your standards! Not just yours. Your entire team’s,
together.
34. As a leader, it’s about fulfilling the 6 Human Needs and
Values of the team and of the customer. These 6 Human Needs
are: 1. Certainty. 2. Uncertainty/variation. 3. Being important. 4.
Connection and love. 5. Growth. 6. Contribution and giving back to
society. Focus on the latter two gives the most satisfaction.
35. Work from the 7 forces. They are: 1. An effective business
map. 2. Constant & strategic innovation. 3. World-class marketing.
4. Sales mastery systems. 5. Financial & Legal Analysis. 6.
Optimization. 7. Raving Fans – Customers & Culture. Spend 90
minutes every week on 1 of the 7 forces to optimize together with
the team. 7×7 is 42 weeks.
36. Repetition: Are you currently a business operator? Fuck that!
Be a business owner!
37. Ask yourself: Who is special? You, or your customer? Your
customer of course! You’re not!
38. Everyone is responsible for the company and the brand.
39. Who is your ideal customer? Work and do everything for your
ideal customer! Fire the customers you don’t want.
40. You’re not the business! A business isn’t fucking YOU!
41. Organize a strategic referral system for your company. 90
percent of business comes from referrals. It’s cheaper, faster,
greater, fun, and creates new referrals.
42. Do you want an extra 300 percent conversion in B2B? Ask
every lead “What triggered you to request something from us?”
This will result in a very relevant conversation.
43. Create more distribution channels. Geometry business.
Compounding. By improving by small percentages, you’ll soon
double your turnover.
44. Constantly commit to making your business the best. If you
don’t, your competitors will.
45. Travel outside your comfort zone. Force yourself to look
outside your own industry, and study other markets for inspiration.
46. Know exactly who is best at what in your sales force. And
learn from each other.
47. Most teams are only 20 percent productive. I.e. you could get
five times what you currently have.
48. Hire the best, or develop people to become the best.
49. Negotiation: prepare yourself (determine your checklist) and
determine your desired outcome in advance.
50. Negotiation in 4 steps: 1. Keep your goal in mind. 2. Look for
points of agreement. 3. Be creative. 4. Increase the pie.
51. Negotiation: create trust. Be nice. And make sure there is a
foundation for co-operation with confidence.
52. Clarify and verify. Always. This applies to everyone in the
organization. I.e. mutual obligations at every step of the process.
53. Know that winter is coming! Be prepared! After winter, there
will be spring.
54. Winter brings the greatest opportunities! Buying cheaply.
Focus on extreme value for the customer.
55. Always stay focused on the result.
56. It’s about execution and doing!
57. Live inside your head and you are dead. Live and work from
your heart.
58. Make the important things urgent. Not the urgent things that
are unimportant.
59. Repetition is the mother of all skills.
60. In great companies there is no place for people who don’t
want to measure.
61. Funnel optimization you do with your entire company,
including delivery and customer care.
62. A 20 percent margin is the minimum to be truly healthy as a
company.
63. Focus on 1 thing!
64. Sell benefits for the customer. Turn it into an experience you
can feel.
65. Know your ideal customer’s desires and fears.
66. If you always offer 3 options. Double all 3. And ensure you
deliver much more value to the customer. Then you’ll have
doubled your turnover, and your customer will be much more
satisfied. For example, for us at WUA this means: don’t carry out 1
study, but 2 or 4 a year and link them together within the
improvement processes. This way, chances are much greater that
our clients will start selling far more online.
Download our free ebook: “The Digital Excellence Challenge”
67. Ensure that 15 percent of your income is automatically
saved, or buy index funds. Preferably 20%.
68. Repetition: During the first 15 to 20 years, focus on 1 thing.
Then, you can broaden your horizon. Concentrate your power!
69. If you want to become a professional speaker. First pick 1
niche. Continue from there. For me, for example, it’s first: help
customers sell much more over the web. Then NLP, family
arrangements, meditation, yoga etc. (these are all things I am
ALSO very passionate about).
70. When it’s winter (bad economy), somewhere in the world it’s
summer. Use this to your advantage.
71. Know more about your client than anyone else.
72. Create raving fans: Care, every step of the way!
73. Seek and you will find. Ask the right questions focused on
objectives.
74. Business is about innovation and marketing.
75. Make sure the Gladiator is always in charge. No Matter What
Happens.
76. Narrow your marketing! Focus on a specific group (your ideal
customers) and do this really well!
77. Spend your marketing budget on your ideal customers.
78. Add money-back guarantee which reduces the risk for the
customer.
79. At the age of 50-55, sell 50 percent of your company. Allow a
younger generation to grow it, so you can sell the other half for
much more at the age of 65, instead of selling the entire company
at 65 when it has devalued significantly.
80. Ensure that in principle your customers cannot get what you
have. This creates hunger. Think about a waiting list, for example.
81. Remove 75 percent of your slides from your presentation.
Focus, be relevant, and offer benefits to the customer.
82. Link your presentation to the hero’s journey. Because of
these phases, people will recognize the phase they are going
through themselves. Successes and setbacks.
83. During the first 20 minutes of a conversation, people pay the
most attention by far.
84. Always remove objections in advance.
85. Why aren’t people buying? 1. Risk. 2. Friction. 3. Success
(no guarantee for success). 4. Differences between you and
everyone else (USPs/competition).
86. Happy people’s bucket list. 1. Experiences that matter. 2.
Leisure time. 3. Mastering skills. 4. Give something back to the
world.
87. Lesson for the CEO: only focus on output. Figures. Targets.
Allow the team to grow by being creative in their own way.
88. Teach and train, train again and again.
89. Raving fan culture: it’s not just you. It’s the entire team.
90. REPETITION: In addition to your business, also invest in
shares! Preferably index funds. Diversify. Don’t put all your eggs in
one basket. Don’t do this with your own business either. Spread
the risk.
91. In times of stress or major challenges: overcommunicate.
92. Always plan “silence” in your agenda. In order to think and
not make impulsive choices. This is a tip from Warren Buffett.
93. CANI attitude: Constant And Never Ending Improvements.
Continually improve in small steps.
94. Live in a beautiful state. Everyone strives for perfection. And
this is usually your self-image, too. Only, is the world perfect? Of
course not! For example, if you have an idea of what a perfect
relationship looks like, you often face a reality that is different. And
soon you get frustrated. Your own image and reality do not match.
Perfection = imperfection. If you change and accept your self-
 image, negative emotions and frustrations will disappear like a puff
of smoke. Enjoy the imperfection :-)
95. Business is a spiritual game. Focus on growth (personal &
team) and on giving back to society (contribution). In addition to
success, the result will also be satisfaction. Success without
satisfaction is terrible.
96. Exercise is one of the fastest ways to get into a positive state.
For example, go for a walk. Together. Or on your own.
97. In addition to your own beautiful state, create a beautiful state
corporate culture. Together. A warm environment. Where it’s safe.
Connection. Where everyone can be themselves. Where everyone
knows the world isn’t perfect.
98. Should you get frustrated after all, don’t explode. Say
‘interesting…’ and tackle a problem or frustration so systematically
that it is resolved forever.
99. Living in a beautiful state is a choice. Everyone strives to live
in beautiful state. And to a large extent we all already do. The
question is: “How can you live in a beautiful state even more?” So,
go from a score of 8 out of 10 to 8.2 out of 10. What needs to
happen to achieve this?
100. In the end, it’s all about love. Fall in love with your team. Fall
in love with your customers. Enjoy the journey. And build a
beautiful business :-)

If you have seen the documentary “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix, you
have witnessed the transformations that can occur through Tony
Robbins Date With Destiny program. This is a 6 day transformational
workshop and is led by Tony Robbins himself for all the 6 days. Investment
for the workshop is $5000.

My friend Darshan Chavan has attended Date with Destiny workshop on

21st May – 26th May 2017 in Gold Coast, Australia. He made lot of notes
during the workshop and agreed to share the notes with me and also gave
me permission to share it in my blog.
 I have posted his notes below. Please note that not all sentences are
grammatically correct.

If you have attended Date with Destiny before, it will be excellent tool for
revision. If you haven’t attended the workshop before, it will give you
glimpse of the content that is covered.

Darshan has told me to warn you that these notes are not supposed to be
taken as replacement of actual workshop. The experience he went through
and breakthroughs he got during the workshop can’t be put in to words. He
also mentioned this worksop is excellent if you are in relationship and
attend it with your partner. After attending Date with Destiny, he got
enough confidence and made a decision to start his own Australian
based company – Qualification Edge. His company helps people up skill
their qualification by recognising the skills and convert in to
qualification. It is very useful if you are working in an industry and helps
you take your career to next level.
How to read this blog post?
Like I said above, this notes were made during the live workshop. He made
notes which he thought were most important. He didn’t write complete
grammatically correct sentences.
The notes he made are to the point and each sentence contains lot of
wisdom. Look at each sentence as a standalone paragraph. Read the
sentence, think about it and then move to the next statement.
Don’t read these notes as any other blog post where author says one idea in
100 words. If you have never heard of Tony Robbins teaching before, then I
recommend you to start with his books “Unlimited Power” and “Awaken
the giant within”

Day 1 Preparation Day:

Important things covered during Day 1:
 3 Levels of Mastery
 Who’s love did you crave the most (mother or Father) and what did you
have to become to get it,
 6 Human Needs,
 Rules,
 Learned Helplessness and how to avoid it,
 Ho’oponopono,
 3 Decisions shaping your destiny,
 The power of effective blaming

Know what is your core emotional state – the state you will come back to
and make sure it’s an empowering one.
Difference between masculine and feminine energy:
Feminine Energy:
 Grows by Praise
 It’s about connection and details
 Need to be understood and listened
Masculine Energy:
 Grows with Challenge
 Kill problem quickly and pretend it’s not there
 It’s all about hierarchy
Repetition is the mother of skill and mastery
3 Levels of Mastery:
1. Cognitive Mastery: You just have intellectual understanding. Knowing is
not enough
2. Emotional Mastery: You feel it and link emotional consequences.
Information with emotion is retained
3. Physical Mastery: Doing it consistently, you embody it in your physiology. It
is your identity.

**DO WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO, NOT TO PLEASE OTHERS.

Q. What’s your way to get LOVE BACK when you are missing it? Who do you
have to be?
Q. Who’s love did you crave the most and who did you have to be to get that
love?
Q. Who could you never be?
Q. Whose qualities do you like the most? (You are identifying these
qualities in you)
Q. Who can’t you stand around or Dislike?
Q. What are the 2 thoughts you get most stressed about?

**IF you want to change someone, be their friend and work with them.
Don’t offend them or Force them.
 If you want to improve yourself, invest your time, energy and money in
seminars, books and audio programs that uplift you.
*All passion is found living on the edge and being uncertain.
**Never let an opportunity pass by. Decide when you are in a peak state
and take massive action.
When you are in a moment of insight, do something about THEM. Don’t just
go about it.
Be happy, but never UNAUTHENTIC. You must be authentic and TRUE
about your situation.

6 HUMAN NEEDS:
1. Certainty-Survival or Security
2. Variety/Uncertainty-Surprises
3. Significance (Unique, Special and Important)
4. Connection and Love- Needs more Vulnerability, but is worth more
5. Growth (There is no plateau)
6. Contribution(Giving)
Q. In the way you have lived until now, which needs have you given
priority?
Q. What has that cost you?
Q. What should your top 2 needs be to go to the next level?
Q. How will having these top 2 needs change your life completely?
If you Judge someone, you miss the lesson and truth.
If you meet all the 6 needs of that person according to their importance,
they will never leave you. If you want to REDUCE PAIN, associate
empowering beliefs to all situations (Even the negative ones)
RULES: It’s about how things should be, how people should behave.
**When your present life conditions match your CORE expectations, you
will experience HAPPINESS in that area of life. When they don’t match, you
experience unhappiness.
SUFFERING:
You suffer when you believe (feel certain) that you are POWERLESS to
change your life conditions and make them equal to your blueprint.
DON’T HAVE TOO MANY RULES, THIS WILL INCREASE YOUR SUFFERING.
Enjoy every moment and find beauty in everything.
Always keep asking: “What else could this mean?” (Tony’s Father in-law
Story)
3 decisions we make consciously:
1.What are we going to FOCUS on?
 -Focus on missing or having
-Focus on what we can control or can’t control
-Focus on the PAST, PRESENT or the FUTURE
2. What does it mean?
3.What are we going to do about it?
PAIN PROVIDES 3 Choices:
1. Ignore and Blame: Events, other and Self
2. Change your Life conditions- Yourself First
3. Change your Blueprint
Learned Helplessness
When you think Problems are
1.Permanent- No problem is permanent
2.Pervasive- There is no relationship between problems and happiness.
You can have a lot of problems and can still be happy
3. Personal (I can’t do anything about it)- You have all the resources and
capability to change your situation. It’s not about resources, it’s all about
resourcefulness.
Ho’oponopono
”I AM SORRY”
“I LOVE YOU”
“PLEASE FORGIVE ME”
“THANK YOU”
**Take 100% responsibility for your Life and Experience
Don’t beat yourself up for the person you were. You are not the person who
had done wrong things in the PAST, you are a totally different person now
with new knowledge and insights.

Blame Elegantly, intelligently and Effectively

Blame people for the person you have become because of them. Blame
them for all the good. Give them Credit for everything that’s great. Blame
them for all BEAUTY in your life now.

QUOTES given by Tony on Day 1:

“You must have Problems in life, they help you GROW and become
STRONGER”
“SAFETY sucks the juice out of life”
 “Quality of your life is directly proportional to the level of uncertainty you
can live with”
“Get in your head, you are dead. Believe in your heart and go for it”
“Make a decision that you will not SUFFER even when things are not going
as you want “
“You can’t get a new Life with an old physiology, change the way you move”
“If you always try to fit in, you will never have a life you deserve”
“Your worst nightmares are others gift”
“Life is happening for us, not to us. Including the pain, disappointment and
challenges”
“Life is not just about being happy and positive all the time. It’s about living
a meaningful life”
“Your decisions determine your destiny”
“If you can’t then you must”
“Leaders don’t follow a culture, they create a culture”
“All suffering is out of obsession about yourself, trade your expectation for
appreciation and your life will be blissful”

Day 2-Evaluation Day

Important things covered in day 2

 The Cycle of meaning,

 Spheres of Influence,
 Emotional Triad,
 Story,
 Power Virtues and Incantations,
 Primary Questions,
 Oneness Blessing.

The Cycle of meaning

Unless our needs are met at a deep level and not a surface level, we will not
really be happy.
System or path for creating meaning:
Stimulus -> Beliefs -> Feeling/Emotion-> Behaviour/Action -> Results
Change your emotions and you will change your life. Train yourself to feel
good.
**4 mins of Anger and rage shuts down your immune system for 5 hours.
 Story
The story we have consciously shapes our life. All your disempowering
stories are based on your past.
All stories are based on these elements:
1. DESIRE (This desire drives the story) Ex: Arnold True Lies. Slavery to
FREEDOM- Fear to greatness. They ultimately succeed because they make a
change in their character. They usually have a self-revelation and they
decide they need to live life differently. In life, there are lot of times you get
something that you desire, but still not happy. The pursuit of a goal is to
help you become more.
2. Problem, a need
3. Worthy Opponent- Bigger the opponent, bigger the hero. Right now, what is
your opponent in life. Don’t worry, the bigger it is, the bigger hero you will
be. You won’t value something if have not fought for it or struggled for it. If
you get it easily, you will lose interest and won’t appreciate it. WE MUST
HAVE OBSTACLES, that’s what make what we want interesting.
There are 3 different opponents:
External opponent- That’s something on the outside.
Intimate opponent-A family member, a friend someone you love.
Internal opponent- The fight within yourself. Doing what’s right and doing
what you feel like.
1. A plan to deal with the opponent
2. Battle-The character searches for meaning
3. Character experiences self-revelation- This self-revelation can be in the
form of new belief’s, values or character traits.
4. Equilibrium-Main character transforms. Everybody’s story is a WARNING
or an EXAMPLE.
“Life will never be the same”
Q. What’s your OLD story about life been? What’s been the predominant
emotions until now?
Q. What’s your new story? The new story you will live by every day.
Emotional Triad
1. Physiology– How you engage your body, your posture, breathing, tone of
voice and movement.
2. Focus-What are you giving attention to in the movement.
3. Language/Meaning– The words you use to describe your experience.

Spheres of Influence
 People see their lives through three filters:
1. Relationships
2. Self
3. Work
We all have 3 spheres of influence, but we tend to value them differently
depending on our stages of life. There are advantages and disadvantages on
your primary focus.
Q. What does your Sphere look like today? What problems do you predict
with this sphere?
Q. What solutions can you implement to solve or minimize these problems?
How might you need to change the sphere to be more fulfilled?

GRIEF Intervention
*Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t leave them. You need to live their BEST
CHARACTER and QUALITIES and make them a part of your story and life.
*If you believe in their LOVE, just exhibit their qualities and release the
grief.
*God knows there is a higher purpose.
1. Decide never to suffer. Decide to live in a state of gratitude and grace.
2. Identify your true self.
3. Daily practice questioning your thoughts

Incantations
An incantation is a phrase or language pattern that is said out loud with an
actively engaged physiology. It’s the MOST POWERFUL way for
conditioning your new beliefs and identity as it uses all 3 elements of the
TRIAD (Physiology, Focus and meaning). It’s more powerful than your
belief system because belief just passively resident in your memory. You
can believe but not act on it. Incantations becomes an active part of your
neurology. It causes you to see, experience and feel better.
“Knowing what you want won’t make you better, SPEAK out what you wish
to become”
WHAT YOU CONSISTENTLY SPEAK YOU BECOME, YOU CREATE, YOU FIND
AND EXPERIENCE
The strongest force in any human being is to stay in consistency with their
IDENTITY
When you want to do something, don’t do the thing (like going on diet). Put
yourself in the STATE, where doing the thing becomes automatic
Tony’s whole LIFE has been shaped by incantations. He does the
incantations to this day even before he jumps on to the stage every single
time. Tony would repeat the incantations for 2 hours repeatedly!! He went
from making $38,000 to 1 Million in a year. If you are not using
Incantations, you are not using anything Tony teaches.
If one person is more certain than the other, he will eventually influence
the other person and convince him. The 5 laws of incantations:

1. Emotional Intensity- The more powerful the EMOTION and the STATE
you are in, the more powerful is the effect of incantations. Emotional
intensity is everything, that’s how you program the unconscious mind. You
become them and embody them Physically again and again over and over.
You need to embody the phrases with INTESNE EMOTIONAL INTENSITY.
This is what sends a message to your brain that it’s real and creates an
anchor in the nervous system. You need to shout and repeat them often

2. Conditioning- Consistency is power. Do it consistently, schedule it and

do it as a part of your routine. Make it a daily event. You MUST do it for at
least 10 minutes every single day and more as well if possible. You can do
this while running, walking, working out. It needs to become a part of your
life, it’s not something that you do once. Don’t care about what people
think!!

3. Rhythm and Pattern- Make it a part of your natural rhythm of life. Make
it sound like a song and you enjoy once you engage in it.

4. Synergy-Try to use all your 5 senses to have maximum impact. Visualize

your incantation when you repeat it. Use your external stimuli to stimulate
your nervous system in pleasurable and powerful ways.

5. Reward- Incantations are a gift for you. Enjoy and have fun with them.
Sample Incantations
 “Every day in every way am getting better and better, stronger and
stronger”
“I feel healthy, I feel happy, I feel terrific”
“I love my life and I am so blessed”
“Thank you, thank you god, thank you”
“Every day in every way I am feeling more and more grateful”
For people seeking perfection:
“I used to think perfection was the only way to be; but now I know that all I
need is here inside of me. I appreciate and honour myself and when push
comes down to shove. All I have to do is add a bit of love.”
For Significance Seekers:
“I had to be the best; Better than the rest. But now I know I’m good as gold
and life is not a test”
“God’s wealth is circulating in my life. His wealth flows to me in avalanches
of abundance. All my needs, desires and goals are met instantaneously by
infinite intelligence and I give thanks for all my good now and for all god’s
riches for I am one with god and god is everything”

Q. List the 3 emotions that will solve all your problems?

Q. How will these emotions CHANGE your story, your life?

Oneness Blessing
https://youtu.be/2jbLyITT0Wo?list=PLopYVMEmDbA1SaCD3Lt4uPfWuAE
8v1_UP

Primary Question
A question that we ask every day in our lives that controls our FOCUS and
DIRECTION in our lives. It filters your conscious and unconscious thinking
on a consistent basis in your life. It is the ultimate filter for what you
consistently notice and experience in your life.
We need to discover what our PAST primary question was and then replace
it with a new primary question.
Questions to ask before you come up with your primary question!
1. What is my outcome or result?
2. What is my purpose?
3. What is the method or strategy?
4. What are my primary beliefs and references?
**MAKE SURE THE PRIMARY QUESTION MEETS MORE OF YOUR PRIMARY
NEEDS!!
When your PRIMARY FOCUS is not met, you feel stressed.
When you are living your life in accordance with this primary question, you
are fulfilling the purpose of your life. This question will lead to your
ultimate opportunity, pleasure and success. If you don’t live by this
question, it leads to massive pain in your life. You should associate strong
emotional intensity to this question and tie your identity to it.
Examples of Primary Questions:
“How can I appreciate the LOVE that’s inside me more now?”
“How can I be joyfully driven and contribute even more now?”
“Where is the good in this?”
“How can I experience more joy that’s within me?”
“How can I grow even more, connect even more and love even more people
so that I can contribute and give more than they can ever imagine?”
***Create an INCANTATION for your new primary question. Use it for 10
days, 3 times a day for a minimum of 5 minutes each time with high
emotional intensity.

Quotes made by Tony during day 2:

“Problems are always a sign of life”
“With low energy in life and business things will fall apart. ENERGY IS
EVERYTHING”
“The only thing that’s stopping you from getting what you want is the
STORY that you tell yourself why you can’t get it.”
“Make your story a significance of love”
“In life getting what you want won’t make you happy, what will make you
truly happy is becoming what you are meant to be”
“Allow the mind only to strategize and not to make decisions. Use your
heart to make decisions”
“When you are grateful, you are not fearful. When you are grateful a lot of
abundance comes out”
“Perfection is the poorest standard. Never go for perfection”

Day 3 discovery day

 Topics covered on Day 3:
 Eight levels of consciousness,
 4 categories of consciousness,
 Values and rules
Tony begins the seminar by talking about how the primary question will
help us be in a beautiful state.
**Make sure your primary question and values are easy, but make your
GOALS hard.
You stress in your business because there is a lot of friction and you make it
more complicated.
**PERFECTION is the lowest standard a human can have. No one can ever
be perfect. You will be frustrated and beat yourself up always.
He talks about metals test and below is some information for you if you
are interested
http://www.interclinical.com.au/hairtissue.php
Help with results:
http://naturalhealthandnutrition.com.au/author/njk263optusnet-com-au/
(Thank you Brent Dry for giving us this information)
He also talks about Master Co meditation (he spoke in UPW in LA) and how
it helps us in maintaining our beautiful state:
http://hishultpranichealers.com/master-co-at-tony-robbins-event-in-la/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxEfymCVJu8

4 categories of consciousness
1. Egocentric– You care and focus only on yourself. All babies are born ego
centric and selfish. There are people who turn old and still behave like
babies and can’t feel what others are feeling, this leads to a lot of problems
in business and life.
2. Ethnocentric-You begin to care about family, friends, people in your circle.
You care about people who have the ability to give you pain or pleasure.
Some people never leave this stage.
3. World Centric– You care about everyone. You feel the pain when someone
feels the pain and you feel the joy when they feel joy. They can’t give you
pain or pleasure. You feel an emotional connection.
4. Spirit centric– You care about everything, every animal, creature and
nature. Very few people get to reach this level of consciousness.
**To get out of a problem, you need to get into a higher level of
consciousness.
 The Chemistry of Transformation
1. Satisfaction- We want to grow and move on. Will consider changing.
2. Dissatisfaction-Drive to change what you want.
3. Emotional Threshold-I cannot live like this anymore. This is bullshit
4. A moment of insight
5. The opening-Change your identity
The formula for Transformation:
Element of satisfaction+ Element of Dissatisfaction=The atomic power of
emotional threshold

Eight levels of Consciousness

Level 8: An Awakened soul (Turquoise)
People at this level feel constant energy and connection not only to people
but to all things.
Needs met: Connection and contribution

Level 7: Integrated/Flex-Flow(Yellow)
People at this level want flexibility, spontaneity and functionality. They see
differences and integrate them. Tony uses this level a lot while he is doing
interventions. They can move easily between all the levels depending on
the person they are dealing with and the situation.
Needs met: Connection and contribution

Level 6: Socially Conscious(Green)

They don’t believe in hierarchy, driven by human connection, consensus,
feelings, caring. Ex: Green peace Activists
Needs met: Connection and contribution

Level 5: Striver-Driver/ Achiever (Orange)

People at this level are driven by success, materialism, image and status.
Science is the king. Ex: Middle men, businesses, corporation.
Needs met: Significance, certainty and growth
Level 4: Order and the Absolute(Blue)
Life is all about rules. You follow you go to heaven, if not you go to hell.
There is an authority structure that enforces a code of conduct. The focus is
to create meaning, discipline and traditions. The focus is living for later. Ex:
Churches, marines and scouts.
Needs met: Significance, certainty

Level 3: Power god (Red)

They care about what they want now and nothing else (Ego-centric) Their
primary drive is to exploit. They express themselves impulsively and are
unwilling to submit and see themselves separately from others. Ex:
Children, rock stars, warlords
Needs met: Significance, certainty

Level 2: Tribal Order (Purple)

Driven by fear and gods. They main leader is very good in telling stories.
The focus is safety orientation through rituals, rites, taboo and superstition.
Ex: Tribes, gangs, sport teams
Needs met: Certainty

Level 1: Survival/ Instinct Driven(Beige)

The level focuses on survival and safety. Ex: New born baby
Needs met: Certainty

** Always move up and down and use of them accordingly.

When 2 people meet, the person more flexible with the levels wins. You
can’t change one level, without experiencing the other. The person with
more choices wins.
**It’s important to realize that the same level of consciousness that has
created your current problems will not solve them. People move to a higher
level when their existing problems become intolerable and change is an
absolute must.
Your level of consciousness might fluctuate but Your centre of gravity is
driven by what you identify yourself with: a power god, achiever, socially
conscious.
 **We are all spiralling continually moving between the different levels and
across each level as we move through life.
*It’s never the question about religion, it’s the people in it. There are people
in any religion who both save lives as well as kill people.
Men go to feminine side when in stress and women go to masculine side.

Freedom=Life for men

They don’t get into commitment, because they don’t want to becontrolled.
When a man is appreciated, he will do anything for you.
Praise a woman for a quality trait or behaviour and she will remember that
for a long time.
Men- Think about the intent about what women say and what’s the deeper
meaning of their words? What do they really mean?

Always find DISEMPOWERING BELIEFs in your failures.

2 Fears that hold people back:
1. I am not Enough
2. I won’t be loved

Values and Rules

Values control your decision making. If you are crystal clear about your
values, decision making will be a breeze. Aligning your actions to your top
most values leads to less pain and a more fulfilled life.
A VALUE is an emotional state is an emotional state that we believe is most
important for us to experience or avoid.
2 Types of Values:
1. Towards Values: Values that we are trying to move towards.
Ex: Love, happiness, compassion, security and gratitude
1. Away from Values: Values we are trying to move away from.
Ex: Failure, loneliness, anger and rejection
Q. Which value do you work hardest to experience?
Q. Which value do you work hardest to avoid?
Rules- Are the beliefs we have about what has to happen to experience our
values or emotional states.
**Our rules have to be as EASY as possible to experience our TOWARDS
value.
 **Our rules have to be VERY DIFFICULT to experience negative emotions or
away from values.
Bullshit Beliefs to avoid at all costs!!
1. I am POWERLESS
2. I AM HELPLESS
3. I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
4. I CAN’T CHANGE
Discovering the OLD values and rules:
To know your old towards values
Q. In the past what has been most important to you in life?
To order and sequence the value
Q. What has been more important for you to feel …………………… or
………………..?
To know your towards rules
Q. In the past what had to happen in order for you to feel ……………..?
Q. In the past what ELSE had to happen in order for you to feel ……….?
To know your old away from Values
Q. In the past, what have been the feelings you would do almost anything to
avoid having to feel……………..?
To order and sequence the value
Q. In the past, which of these feelings would you do more to avoid?
………………………… or ………………………… ?
To know your Away rules
In the past what had to happen in order for you to feel…………………?
**When 2 values match close, then ask and look for the definition of each
value. Which feeling is more important for you to express in the past.

Quotes made by Tony during day 3:

“You have to push yourself through the hole, no one else can do this for
you!!”
“If certainty and significance is the priority in any relationship, then it is
totally messed”

Day 4- Relationship Day

Important things covered during DAY 4 :
 Goal Setting,
 Masculine and feminine energy(Polarity),
 6 positions of relationship,
 3 dimensions of relationships,
 5 relationship stressors,
 lack of intimacy,
 Relationship vision

GOAL SETTING
Goal setting is needed to discover what our ultimate destiny is and who we
want to become.
**Be un realistic in your GOAL, never set your goal depending on your
current situation.
Don’t have any regrets about owning nice and beautiful things and share it.
You need to set goals on these areas:
1. Things you want
2. Experiences you want
3. Economic-Portfolio, assets
4. Contribution-How much MONEY you want to give and when?
Divide your goals into Short Term, Medium Term and Long term.
Questions to ask before you get started with your goals
Q1. Brain storm a list of anything you would like to achieve, create, give,
have or experience in the next 20 years.
Q2. In this list write down 1,3,5,10 or 20 years next to each goal to indicate
how long it will take you to achieve them.
Q3. Review your list again and choose your top 4 one-year goals. Write
down why you will absolutely achieve this goal within the next 12 months?
Q4. Write down what kind of a person it will take to achieve all that you
want. Describe the character traits, values, beliefs, virtues this person
would embody.

Relationships
There is no greater source of joy, happiness and fulfilment and also sorrow,
heartbreak and pain then the area of human relationships.
**The main purpose of relationships is to magnify human emotion.
There is no amount of money or status that will ever come close to the
power of fulfillment that comes from a passionate, loving relationship with
someone you worship and who worships you.
The ultimate key to creating and experiencing an extraordinary and
fulfilling relationship is to work on you:
1. Constantly strive to strip away your fears
2. Be more of who you are at your core
3. Decide to focus on what you can give to your partner

Masculine and Feminine Energy (The power of

polarity)
**The more opposed the sexual energies between two people, the stronger
the attraction will be in a relationship. Same energies end relationship. i.e. if
both are ‘masculine’ then the attraction is diminished. Whereas, if one Is
extremely ‘feminine’ and the other ‘masculine’ then physical attraction will
be maximised.
The energies are not gender based, both male and female can embody
either energy. The most important thing is to know what your true nature
is and to embody it.
DEPOLARIZATION occurs by doing things that take away from the other
person their sexual essence.
Ex: Telling a man he can’t drive or he is wrong. Telling a woman, she is
worn out and looks ugly.

Differences between Feminine Energy and Masculine

Energy
Feminine Energy Masculine Energy
Tries to empty and let go. Seeks
1.Tries to fill up with love, energy release from burdens of life,
and attention. Energy is based on relationship. Strives to break free to
attraction and enhancement. ultimate ecstasy and freedom.
2.Makes small things big. Hangs
onto everything, stays too long, Makes big things small. Finds it easy
hears mood and tone. Speaks to let go and leave, speaks words and
emotions. not emotions
3.Wants to be understood. Desires
to be noticed and praised. Lives in Wants to be appreciated.Responds
a world of sensation, the body, to challenge and comes alive at edge.
connections to the flow of elements Loves competitions and testing
and natural forces. Addicted to ways themselves. Wants to possess.
 of filling her sense of emptiness. Addicted to emptying himself and
Wants to be owned releasing himself. Loves FREEDOM
Looking for trouble-Solve a problem
4.Looking for love- Ways to magnify and fix it quickly (Even when there
radiance and beauty isn’t one)
5.Interruption does not exist as Can focus on only one mode at a
she is in a constant state of flow time and single task at hand.
6.Driven by emotions in an
intimate relationship. Feminine
force is about opening to love and
giving love. Driven by direction in life or mission
Storm of peace. Strong physical
presence, centeredness, rigidityand
7.Storm of light. Open, free, flowing,a feeling of unwavering purpose and
full of life and energy, nurturing. strength
Start with friendship and then become passionate about relationship.
“Satisfied customers leave, raving fans stay”
Know the top 3 needs of your partner and satisfy them at all cost.
Women think by being not happy I can control him.
**Men love women who enjoy themselves and have fun. BEAUTIFUL STATE
attracts everyone.
We must learn to give our gifts and love unconditionally.

Selection
95% of relationship works on selection. Selecting the right part of you.
**Which one trait attracted your partner, is it still there and is it active?
Selection come from, people are pulled together and end up in a
relationship because of:
1. Proximity 2. Chemistry 3. Convenience
You first need to become the kind of person you want to attract in your
relationship.
A person’s nature is unlikely to change, so know who you are in
relationship with.
**To have a fulfilling relationship, we must get rid of the belief that our
partner determines how we feel. ONLY WE DETERMINE HOW WE FEEL.
**In a relationship, focus on being happy than being right.
 **Even if someone hates you, do the right thing for them.

6 positions of a relationship
1.In a magnificent relationship with love and passion– You are insanely
passionate and engaged with your partner’s spirit.
2. In a relationship with love, but very less or no passion– You have a great
friendship.
3.In a relationship with not much love and passion-You know it’s not a right
relationship, you are there just for convenience.
4.In a relationship and planning an escape.
5.Not in a relationship, but want to be in one.
6. You are not in a relationship and don’t want to be in one.

3 dimensions of a relationship
1. It’s all about yourself (egocentric Level)
You focus on what you are getting out of the relationship. You control
things based on the outside world.
1. It’s all about equality (Ethnocentric Level)
I will take care of myself and you will take care of yourself and we will try
to take care of each other.
1. Your needs are my needs (Word or Spirit Centric Level)
You take complete and TOTAL responsibility for how the other person feels.
You won’t stop or give up until you meet your partner’s need.

5 relationship stressors
The key to avoiding pitfalls in a relationship is to understand the common
stressors that can negatively impact our relationships. The secret to reduce
these stressors is to communicate with your partner about these:
Loss of Attraction:
The only difference between an intimate relationship and friendship is
INTIMACY. When desire and deep connection fades, you lose passion.
Attraction diminishes because of depolarization. Depolarization is the
absence of masculine and feminine energies between them. Attraction can
shift and increase when a woman goes from being tight and controlling to
FREE and RADIANT and when the husband makes her feel appreciated,
 needed and loved.

Irritation, Frustration, Emotional Stacking and Stonewalling

To have a good relationship you need to have 5 times more positive

communications as negative ones. When you lose attraction, and won’t
communicate you experience the 4R’s:
1. Resistance: When your partner does something and it bothers you, and
choose not to say anything. It later stacks and becomes resentment
2. Resentment: Resistance when goes deeper leads to tension which you
won’t address.
3. Rejection: There is a level of toxicity and abrasiveness. You get tired of
being harsh with each other and move into Repression.
4. Repression: You reach a level of numbness and learned helplessness. You
lower your expectation of relationship and start concentrating on your
work, kids, friends.
**The easiest way to reverse this is to have openness, connection and love
with each other.

Loss of Physical Passion

Because you feel misunderstood and neglected by each other there won’t
be any passion. Your partner withholds love and intimacy, you feel learned
helplessness, because you can’t please them.

Loss of commitment
Because of the loss of attraction and passion, you fail to understand and
meet your partners need. Loss in commitment occurs when you don’t feel
needed, appreciated or understood. Your energy goes somewhere else such
as office, friends and others.
The only way to stop this is to remember that no one else has a higher
priority than your partner. You must make your partner feel that fulfilling
his/her needs is a MUST for you.
**IF you keep looking at each other in stress, you will start to associate
each other with stress.
**Do what you did in the beginning of your relationship and there won’t be
an end.
 Story of incompatibility
Incompatibility comes from not meeting each other’s needs.
You must take control of the meaning and story you associate to your
partner, you will always find evidence to make it true.
**We have the power to control the stories that define us and our
relationships.

Causes for lack of Intimacy

3 U’s of Feminine
1. Unseen– Give her attention, all the time
2. Not understood-Give her real presence, all the time
3. Unsafe and can’t trust-Give reassurance, all the time
3C’s of Masculine
1. Criticized– Admire and appreciate
2. Closed-Be open and playful
3. Controlled– Give FREEDOM and love

Relationship vision
Questions to ask and answer before you create your relationship vision:
Q1. Describe your ideal relationship. Write down everything you want.
What would your relationship look like? What’s the impact of this
relationship? What would this relationship serve? What would it inspire?
What would it bring to your life? Once done, cross out anything that doesn’t
inspire you.
Q2. What’s stopping you from creating this vision? What have you valued
more than this intimate relationship? What limiting beliefs’ or rules have
you put your energies into? After you are done, write down what you are
going to do now instead?
Q3. Where are your relationships right now? How would you describe
them?
Q4. What are you going to do now to make your vision a reality?

Quotes made by Tony during the day:

“What makes our relationship work is commonality and that one that
makes it passionate is differences in energy”
“You must condition yourself or the culture will condition you”
 “Life is found between your desires and fears. To be happy, content and
wealthy increase your desires and reduce your fears”
“The purpose of a relationship is to grow. You can’t grow until you keep
blaming”
“Convenience crushes the soul”
“Pain is real, suffering is a choice”

Day 5 -Transformation Day

Important things covered during this day 5:
 How to give Feedback,
 Designing your new values and rules,
 Mission statement

Feedback
Feedback is extremely important in life. Learn to accept feedback and
improve on it.
Process for giving effective feedback:
1. First tell people about what is great. At least 2-3 things. Be authentic and
great.
2. Tell them what can be different or challenging
3. End with giving another positive feedback.
When you are coaching, don’t judge or guess what people are saying. Ask
them questions and work around their values.
RESPECT- People who have this as their highest value are always
angry

Designing your new Values and Rules

Designing your NEW VALUES AND RULES Consists of 4 CHUNKS:
**Use gestures with intense emotion when asking these questions. Make
sure you are in a PEAK STATE!!

CHUNK 1[Towards Values]

Different questions involved in knowing your new values
1. Clarify your Destiny
2. What kind of a person do I ultimately want to become in my lifetime?
3. What do I want my life to really be about?
4. What do my highest values need to be in order to achieve my ultimate
destiny?
5. View your current list and ask: What do I gain by having this value inthis
position on my list?
6. What could it cost me to have this value in this position on my list?
**Keep alternating between 3 and 4 to order your values and know exactly
its relevance.
1. What values do I need to eliminate in order to achieve my ultimate
destiny?
2. What other values do I need to add in order to achieve my ultimate
destiny?
3. What order do these values need to be in, in order to achieve
myultimate destiny?
4. Make certain there are no conflicts in the hierarchy and sequence.

CHUNK 2[Towards Rules]

**Anytime I do any of these, I will be happy
1.Make it EASY to experience. Language your towards rules like : “ Anytime
I……
2. Make a menu (Points) : “Anytime I do…..” a) or b) or C) or D.
3. You must be in control; the outside world does not determine your
experience.
Example of Towards Values and Rules:
Values: I MOVE TOWARDS LOVE.
RULES: I experience love anytime I…..
1. Am loving OR
2. Am warm towards others OR
3. Remember the love I always have in my heart OR
4. Notice the love in others

CHUNK 3 [Away Values]

1. Think about and make a list of away from values based on the following
question:
What emotional states do in need to avoid indulging in to achieve
myultimate destiny?
1. Which away from values do I need to avoid most in order to achieve
my ultimate destiny?
(Put those value in hierarchy)

CHUNK 4 [Away rules]

**Only if I do it CONSISTENTLY I feel like shit
1. Make it hard to experience your away from values so that you would have
to do something consistently to experience the negative.
2. Language your away rules to make them hard to experience
“Only if I were to CONSISTENTLY….
1. Believe in the ILLUSION that… (I’m negative)”
2. Focus on the FALSE BELIEF that someone can …………. (Embarrass me)”
3. State the SOLUTION for your away from rules in the following manner:
“I avoid the consistent illusion of failure.”
“I would experience this only if I were to consistently focus on the false
belief that I can always fail, instead of… (Realizing that I have succeeded
any time I learn something and give 100 %)
Examples: Away from Values and Rules
1. Consistent inappropriate debilitating anger
ONLY if I were to CONSISTENLY treat people harshly, INSTEAD of
remembering that everyone has different rules, they are doing the best
they can with the resources they have, and it’s not about me.
1. Consistent inappropriate feeling of rejection
ONLY if I were to CONSISTENTLY believe in the ILLUSSION (write this in-
between the PATTERN) that someone can reject me, instead of realizing
that I am the only person who determines how I feel.
1. Consistent debilitating illusion of Failure
Only if I were to CONSISTENTLY focus on the FALSE BELIEF (use words
that break up the pattern) that I can fail, instead of realizing that I have
succeeded any time I learn something and give 100 %.

MORE EXAMPLES:
TOWARDS VALUES AND RULES
1. Love
2. Anytime I am warm towards others, OR
3. Anytime I am loving OR
4. Anytime I remember the love I always have in my heart, OR
5. Anytime I notice the love in others, OR
6. Anytime I love the playful child in me
7. Health
8. Anytime I treat my body with love and respect OR
9. Anytime I exercise, OR
10. Anytime I push my body to expand its present limits
11. Success
12. Anytime I am grateful for being alive, OR
13. Anytime I achieve an outcome, OR
14. Anytime I hold myself to my standards, OR
15. Anytime I stretch myself beyond my present limits, OR
16. Anytime I get other people to be the most they can be

AWAY VALUES AND RULES

Consistent, inappropriate, overwhelming, debilitating anger
Only if I were to consistently react in the moment with harshness or
intensity, instead of remembering that I alone have the power to decide
what thing mean.
Consistent, inappropriate frustration
Only if I were to consistently believe in the false illusion that I can’t do
anything to resolve or improve the situation, instead of remembering that I
am resourceful, committed and determined and that if it’s meant to be, I
can make anything happen.
Consistent, debilitating self-pity
Only if I were to consistently lie to myself and believe that I am a victim,
instead of remembering how fortunate I really am and that my life is
blessed the moment I decide to notice it.
 Mission Statement
Rules for creating a mission statement:
1. It should be positive and must have “BE” and “DO” Statements.
2. Be brief, include yourself and others, should be able to experience every
day.
3. Eliminate Universals such as ALL and EVERY.
4. Use EMOTIONALLY CHARGED Words.
Ex: The purpose of my life is to be………………………………………..,
enjoy…………………………………. and do ……………. For myself and others.
** When you are in a LOUSY STATE you don’t give a damn, when you are in
a HIGH ENERGY STATE you do everything to get what you want.
With perfection, you just portray yourself as an achiever, but beat yourself
always.
*Write your emotions that you experience in a week and think if this will
lead you to your destiny.
All decisions are value clarifications.
If you are crystal clear about your values you make very effective and easy
decisions.
**The level next to forgiveness is forgiveness with gratitude. THANK THAT
IT HAPPENED TO YOU
If you want to be perfect/good in everyone’s eye you can never be
fulfilled. You will be in deep pain. You can never make everyone
happy with you.
People indulge in physical ABUSE only when they have SIGNIFICANCE as
the biggest and top most value.
Anything less than truth is not vulnerable.
“In life you don’t get things, you do things”

Day 6-Integration Day

Topics covered during this day
 3D process (Closed eye process),
 Integration process,
 Creating the 7th Power
*Make your Poster or vision board very VISUAL
**Take 60 days and meet all of your partner’s needs. You remain
completely un-selfish and don’t expect anything. This will change your
relationship and take it to a whole new level.
Scarcity of time creates a lot of confusion, so step out of the rhythm and do
PRIMING early in the morning.
“Crying from a hurt place is BAD, you will train yourself to be always in
PAIN.
Ask, what is magnificent in my life now? What is superb about my life
today?
Let your heart decide, not your mind.
**Whenever you are upset with someone, you are not upset with them, but
their RULES.
You need to separate the person from the behaviour.
When we BELIEVE our stressful thoughts, we are messed up.
“Reward people for small improvements, than just waiting for the end
result. Don’t wait for the end behaviour”
When women get scared, they get angry.
**When having an argument with your partner, always paly fight. Just don’t
go over the EDGE and make it mean. Make it funny.

Earliest memory and closed eye (3D process)

We did a closed eye process of visualization where we remembered the
earliest memory of our life.
We decide how it will serve us in the future, what all decisions we have
made as a result of it and how it will change our life forever.

Integration process
Do this process with extremely high energy and you should be in very
peak state. Internalize these things deep inside your body. Own it, don’t do
It to convince other people.
**To heck with tiredness, this is where you have to go full out, when it is
the END.
I (your name) see, hear, feel and know…
Power Virtue
I am ……….
Mission Statement
The purpose of my life is to….
Towards Value
I am….
Away Values
Must be stated as:
 “I William Howard will no longer indulge in the debilitating emotion of
anger because it destroys an emotion of anger because it destroys any
connection I have with those I care about and it’s simply not who I am. Who
I really am is a passionate, caring and loving person. And, in order to
indulge in that, I have to forget that everyone has different rules. Instead,
all I have to do is smile and remember that they are doing the best they can
with the resources they have. When I do this my life is magical. This is how
I am committed to living my life”
1. What I learned
2. The most important things I have learned here are……
3. I know the decisions I have made here will change my life forever
because…..
“Do the right things at the right time, doing the right thing at the wrong
time is disastrous.”
**The biggest problem people have is the addiction to their problem.
Always keep asking “How can I love and appreciate even more of what god
has given me?”

7th Power- The power of environment

1. Create the environment upon your return home. Write 2 letters now to
people who will hold you to your new standards.
2. Have your poster FRAMED
3. Ask your new PRIMARY QUESTION and do the INCANTATION with total joy
and intensity twice per day.
4. Go into your POWER VIRTUE states consciously twice per day.
5. Set up your game plan for rewards.
6. Workout in the GYM.
7. Treat yourself kindly, catch yourself doing little things right.
THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE IS A DIRECT REFLECTION OF THE
EXPECTATION OF YOUR PEER GROUP. CHOOSE YOUR PEERS WISELY!!

All the Best

Srinivas Vakati
Date With Destiny is a seminar for the soul.
I’ve had the great joy of going twice now, my first time in 2013 and recently this
past December in Boca Raton, Florida.

One might think why would you go to the same seminar twice?

Date With Destiny is never the same…

Date With Destiny is sacred, beautiful, amazing, epic, awesome, inspiring,

transformational, and a mind-blowing experience where you experience 6 1/2
days with the legendary Tony Robbins and 3,000 other beautiful souls.

And Date With Destiny was recently produced into “I am not your Guru”, an
award-winning documentary by Joe Berlinger.

Throughout the seminar, I took many notes to share some of these amazing life
lessons.

These amazing life lessons include…

1. Frustration means you’re about to have a

breakthrough
Nobody ever changed their life when they were satisfied or okay with how things
are going. Its when you’re so frustrated and you hit a threshold that enough is
enough and you must change NOW!

The new version of a breakthrough is living in a beautiful state, because success

without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. When you live in a beautiful state,
you’re producing so much energy that you’ll not only make the
breakthrough…you’ll enjoy every moment along the way.

2. Be cheerful instead of happy

The difference between cheerfulness and happiness is that when you’re cheerful,
people get to see and experience it too.
Happiness is in your mind, cheerfulness fills people up from the Soul.

3. What’s your primary question?

We all have a question that drives our focus moment to moment. Often, this
question is unconscious and we don’t even realize it until we take the time to
focus and discover what it is. For me it was How can I make progress faster?
This may sound like a great question because its focused on growth and progress,
but it also carries with it stress when things aren’t happening “fast enough”. Thus
I chose to change my question and a week after Date With Destiny, I sprained my
ankle and embodied trusting the timing of everything.

4. Perfection is not a standard

If you’ve been a perfectionist throughout your life, this is your wake up call.
There is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is not even a high standard…its a
standard that nobody will ever meet. When you choose to be a perfectionist, you
will never be able to accept things as they are…which means you can’t be with
life and this causes an enormous amount of stress and destruction in life.

5. Remember who you are at your core

essence
Masculine and feminine, which is your core? Society, media and recent movies
have flip-flopped masculine and feminine roles…confusing us in how to act to fit
in with society. This causes challenges not only in relationships, but also in
owning oneself as a person. How can you tell what your core is?

Masculine is driven by purpose and mission, craves freedom and brings raw
presence.

Feminine is driven by intimate relationships, craves filling up and brings

radiance and light.

We’re made of both energies, however there’s one that we’re dominant with.
Remember what your core is and lead from there.
6. Polarity creates passion
Generally marriages don’t fail because of a lack of love. They fail because of a lack
of passion. In fact, almost all relationships fail because of a lack of passion…and
polarity is the key to passion. When a man shows up as feminine and his partner
is feminine, there’s no polarity. Same for if a woman shows up as masculine and
her partner is masculine.

If you are in a relationship and you feel that you’ve been experiencing these
challenges, check out this article I wrote with solutions to bringing back intimacy
in your relationship.
7. Triggers for masculine…
The three main triggers for the masculine happen when their partner criticizes
them, closes up on them, or tries to control them.

Solutions to all three include appreciating the masculine, opening up to them

with playfulness and giving them the freedom they need.

8. Triggers for feminine…

The three main triggers for the feminine happen when their partner makes them
feel unseen, doesn’t try to understand them, and makes them feel unsafe.

The main solution is to give them raw presence… every time they need it.

9. Consciously choose your values

We’re often conditioned with rules as we grow up. We can change our rules, and
what’s stronger than our rules is our values.

For me, I chose to make my #1 value God/Universe/Soul-guided decisions. Why?

Because Tony says that its our decisions that lead to our destiny so I figured that
these are the best decisions to make.
10. Live like so wide awake…like you’re
driving a Bugatti at 233 mph
Tony said one of the coolest experiences of his life recently was driving a Bugatti
at 233 mph. Date With Destiny is all about living life wide awake and conscious,
and he used this metaphor because in order to drive and survive the
experience…he had to be so wide awake. Any turn he made with a slight margin
of error could’ve meant crashing…which could’ve meant death. When we live
wide awake, we’re able to show up and bring and receive greater value from
every situation in life.

11. Live an integrated life.

I first heard about spiral dynamics at Date With Destiny back in 2013. Its a map
created by Claire Graves and later further developed by Ken Wilber on the stages
of human consciousness since the dawn of mankind.

Currently there’s a first tier and second tier of consciousness. Donny Epstein
spoke about the second tier of consciousness in a previous episode, and this has
to do with humanity’s new awakening.

Tony does an exercise where people wear hats representing each stage of
consciousness within the first tier and ends it with announcing the importance of
living an integrated life.

We are all one, everyone has value, there are many parts of us…internally and
externally. When we live from the 2nd tier of consciousness, abundance is our
natural playground and love is our legacy.

I want to hear: what destiny will you claim now?

So, I’m a bit behind with my posting schedule, but for good reason. I had a Date
with Destiny and rewriting My Life got priority.

You’re probably wondering what the heck I’m talking about right now, so let me
back up quickly.

As you may know from reading my About Me page, I’ve been a pretty big fan of
Tony Robbin’s since my early teens. After reading Unlimited Power, it literally
changed the trajectory of my life.
Living Life on My Terms

For the first time I knew I had the power to control my life and grab a hold of
things that I really wanted.

And, that’s exactly what I did for the next 20 years. I found the love of my life (J),
built a company from scratch with friends, saved enough money to become
financially free by 30, and even bought some fun toys along the way.

What a huge blessing this was, and I was so grateful for these gifts.

How could life get any better?

Well, a strange thing happened. I started to feel a gnawing at my gut that there
needed to be more.

I’ll bet you know this feeling too.

Have you ever wanted something sooooo bad?? So much so, that you told yourself
once you have it, you’ll NEVER want anything else in life again for as long as you
live!!!

And then, when you got it, it was the BEST thing ever.

But, then a funny thing happens. That sudden and unseeming endless euphoria
starts to wear off, and you begin to want MORE again.

More, More, More

So, even though I had success from an external perspective, there was a realization
that there was MORE. And I wanted it.

I didn’t know what I wanted exactly, but I prayed to God that I would find it…

The Catalyst
The following day, our company received notice that our largest client would be
ending their contract with us at the end of their term.

Deep panic began to set in at first. With a third of our revenues evaporating
within months, I knew our cash flow would begin hemorrhaging soon.

Being conservative, we could bleed cash for 6-7 months before we’d have to close
the doors. Or, we’d have to layoff 1/2 of our staff.

Long story short, I didn’t have the heart to do this. So, this became the catalyst to
sell our company and it was exactly what I needed.
Beyond Just Me

Within weeks of the sale, my wife and I were blessed with our first child…
K. Any father will tell you, the first time he holds his newborn child (especially a
girl), his heart melts instantly.

Taking her into my hands for the very first time was indescribable.

An overwhelming rush of joy and unconditional love surged over me and I knew
instantly the next chapter of my life was to love and serve others.

Fast forward to just 6 months ago…

I am feeling super blessed to stay home with my kids, but the new question
became, how can I contribute even more?
I know! I’ll become a financial coach and help people with money… and that was
the start of financiallyalert.com.

Bare in mind I had no clue how I was going to do this, I’ve never really coached
anyone before, but I had (have) faith I’d figure it out.

Once I placed the focus on the blog and giving back, things started to fall in
place. I still wasn’t clear on my mission, but it felt like things were conspiring in
my favor.

Then in October, my buddy Albert and I decided to go to our first live Tony
Robbins event called UPW (or Unleash the Power Within).
I don’t quite know how to describe it other than it will help you to push yourself to
new levels of insight and achievement you didn’t know how had inside you. The
energy was insane with over 10,000 attendees… the largest UPW to date.

If you’ve never been, you owe it to yourself to go to UPW at least once.

The days can get pretty long at times, but you’ll never notice because time flies so
fast when you’re having fun.

However, they will up sell you on new events! One of them is called Master
University which is a package of three different seminars combined (Date with
Destiny, Life Mastery, & Wealth Mastery). The seminar that Tony says is his
hands down favorite is Date with Destiny… I was intrigued.

Let me tell you though, it’s not cheap. We’re talking $10,000.

The irony of it all was that UPW was do powerful, I couldn’t imagine another
seminar being that much better and costing that much more. So, I was hesitant and
moved into my typical pattern which is to wait, analyze, wait some more before
taking action.

I’m Not Going To Do It

In fact, my mind was pretty much made up. I decided I wasn’t going to do it.

Then on the night before the final day, fate stopped by to say hello.

It was about 2:30am in the morning. We had just gotten back from a 12 hour day
and I was finally getting a chance to catch up on emails and check my bank
balances for the first time in the past few days.

As I scrolled quickly through my BOFA app, I had to stop and do a double take.
There was a NEW deposit in my bank account for $10,000 exactly. WTF!!!
When God Drops $10,000 On Top of Your Head –
It’s Time to Listen
It just so happens that one of my RealtyShares deals paid off early and my
principal was returned to me. I had absolutely no clue this was coming because
RealtyShares doesn’t have a notification system yet. And, what are the chances the
amount was $10,000 or it was returned to me literally while I’m at UPW??!

So… guess where I decided to reinvest that money??

(To be continued… HERE!)

Readers, have you ever experienced a near miraculous event/circumstance that
happens to push you in a direction you probably wouldn’t have gone otherwise?

Part 2
In this rather long post, I’d like to answer a few questions for you:

1. How much were the overall costs and breakdown of expenses for Date with
Destiny?
2. How would you honestly describe your experience at Tony Robbin’s Date with
DestinySeminar? What’s it like to be in room with Tony Robbins LIVE?
3. What are the major distinctions/breakthroughs you came away with after
attending Date with Destiny? How has it changed your life?
4. Was it worth it? Why??

You Paid How Much??

As you read in Part 1, I had $10,000 literally fall into my lap that I wasn’t
expecting right when I needed it. Talk about catalyst! There was no denying a

message from someone!

So of course I reinvested that $10,000 promptly on my final day of UPW (Unleash
the Power Within) and signed up for Mastery University which is a package of
three different seminars combined (Date with Destiny, Life Mastery, & Wealth
Mastery) at a significant discount vs. if you purchase them separately (purchased
separately they amount to ~$24,000 for all 3). You then have 2.5 years to attend
these events at your discretion.

But, let’s back up a touch. Spending $10,000 is NOT an easy decision by any
stretch of the imagination. In fact, I was downright skeptical in the beginning
which is what kept me from acting the first time they presented the offer. “What’s
their angle?” “Surely they are benefiting far more than I am.” were thoughts that
raced through my head.

Even after I did the sign-up, and up until a few weeks ago, I was still second
guessing myself. But, at some point, I finally relinquished control and just let if in
God’s hands. No more worrying, and if worse came to worse, I could always turn
in your materials 1/2 way through the seminar for a full refund (which I probably
wouldn’t have done anyways because of pride).

So, the worse possible case scenario was I was out $10,000. I could live with
that. When I really started to think about it, I’ve lost tens of thousands of dollars in
a single day on paper. And while I wouldn’t like it, I’d be okay and life would
move on.

Date with Destiny – Boca Raton, FL – 2015

Date with Destiny – Cost Breakdown

So, the entry-level cost of Date with Destiny (DWD) retails for $7,995. I suspect
however that most people typically pay closer in the range of $4,500 to $6,500 on
average if purchased as an add-on, or with some sort of discount. (Note: If you’ve
really got a lot of excess cash, there are some premium options available as well.)

The DWD seminar is offered only once per year in the U.S. (Florida this year) and
only one other date internationally (Australia).

I was originally going to wait an entire year to attend DWD, but it just happened to
work out with my wife and Grandma’s schedule in December this year and I pulled
the trigger. I couldn’t be luckier to have such a great support system at home.
The actual seminar was held at the Boca Raton Resort (Waldorf Astoria). By the
time I signed up, the entire hotel was already booked and that was probably a good
thing considering it was ~$400/night! So, I found a modest Hilton Doubletree a
couple of miles down the road for $125/night which was much more in line with
my budget. (After all, I’d only be sleeping here a few hours each day).

I was able to book a relatively cheap flight on Spirit Airlines for ~$400 round trip
(including luggage and seating fees – optional paid features on Spirit) from San
Diego. I had one layover each way in Houston, but since it was the same plane, I
didn’t even need to de-board when I arrived which was nice & convenient.

You do need to handle food on your own for the most part. The hotel obviously
has some options for you, but a lot of people end up packing food and drink for the
entire day. It’s entirely possible that Tony can get up on stage and not leave the
room for 10+ hours without taking a single bathroom break…. seriously. About
half the days, we were provided with some sort of meal like a wrap or soup, but
just come prepared – you don’t want to miss anything!
The Tony Robbin’s LIVE Event Experience

So, I’ll do my best to describe my experience, but no combination of words will

fully color the experience as it was.

The first day of Date with Destiny started on Tuesday, December 15th. I arrived a
touch early around 9:30am in order to check-in and get my badge.

The place was alive with energy and you could feel the excitement and anticipation
from 2800 over achievers buzzing around the room!

We were finally let in the room around 10:30am and we had a little time to meet
the people around us.
Just an FYI, for the last 20 some years, I’ve been a pretty shy introverted
individual that always keeps to myself. But, in this environment, you couldn’t help
but feel connected to everyone around you and striking up conversations was easy
and fun!

So before Tony hits the stage (the same holds true for UPW), they have team of
people who gets the crowd on their feet. The room starts to get dark and the music
starts bumpin’ like a crazy party.

Oh yeah, Tony keeps the room incredibly COLD in order to keep himself and all
of us awake throughout the seminar. Guys typically love this, but the gals usually
come dressed in many layers including ski parkas! Nevertheless, once you start
dancing around, things warm up quickly.

I should also note that I was always the person that was “too cool” to dance. So,
with some heavy reservation, I decided to let loose and inhale the full experience
while I was there. Thankfully I did because you will get whatever out of this
experience, what you put in.

Tony’s philosophy is to train in an immersive environment, so the days

ARE long. On average, we would end around 2:00am in the morning and then
reconvene the following day around 9:30am. So, it is intense. But it’s done in a
way that is engaging and entertaining. Honestly, you don’t really even notice the
time flying by! That’s why I highly encourage you to attend at least ONE of his
LIVE seminars before you make any judgment. (Checkout UPW as a great entry-
level event to understand what I’m talking about.)
As soon as Tony hits the main stage, the place goes NUTZ. I mean crazy! You’ll
find people jumping up and down the aisles, standing on their chairs, and yelling at
the top of their lungs. And if you don’t think that’s enough, he then tells you to
take it up another notch and to “really go for it!”.

When he’s finally ready to have you sit down, you can imagine you’re in a pretty
pumped up state. And that’s the KEY.

While it’s fun and entertaining to go wild in a seminar, that’s actually NOT the
point of doing it. The point is to get yourself into a peak state of physiology
because that’s the point where your brain is the most receptive to training and
learning.

Tony’s presence is dynamic, to say the least. He’s got a raw intensity about him
and he doesn’t sugar coat anything. In fact, he likes to use colorful language at
times, simply to drive home points. And yet, you can also feel he’s got an
incredibly huge and compassionate heart. He’s not there for the money (his
companies already generate $5B in annual revenues), he’s there because he
genuinely cares about each person in that room.
The first thing Tony tells you is that “I’m not here to be your guru. I’m not here
to tell you that positive thinking is the answer. That’s bullshit. I’m just a guy. A
guy that has been fortunate enough to work with millions of people and have
uncovered specific patterns from some of the most successful people around the
world. Along the way, I’ve developed tools and strategies to help you to live an
extraordinary life. But, it’s up to YOU to do the hard work.”

Tony Robbins is a master story-teller. He’s able to engage you with stories we can
all relate to, and in the process, you are able to make associations and distinctions
within.

He also engages the audience each day and brings forth individuals to share their
personal stories about why they are there. I can’t even begin to tell you how
inspiring some of these stories are. And while I’d love to share some of them, I
also promised to keep them confidential. So, guess I’ll just have to share my
own!
Breakthrough #1 – Change Your Focus, Change
Your Life
So DWD is all about taking back full control over your own life and achieving at
a level you desire. But, in order to get to that place, we had to first really
understand what drives us now and peel back the layers of fear that are holding us
back.

One of the most powerful distinctions which Tony talks about is our 6 Human
Needs.

1. Certainty
2. Variety
3. Significance
4. Growth
5. Love/Connection
6. Contribution

Everyone at some level has all of these needs. And the way that we value these
needs ultimately shapes the model of the world as we live it.

In fact, we typically have a specific hierarchy of how we value these needs and the
top two are called our Primary Needs. Depending on how we value each of these,
will ultimately dictate how we filter the world around us and create the rules and
stories we live by.

Let me use myself as an example here…

When I honestly asked myself where I used to live the majority of my life, I
realized that I valued SIGNIFICANCE and CERTAINTY above all my other
needs.

So is this good, or bad? Well, it’s actually a combination of both.

Valuing these as my primary needs has given me incredible drive over the course
of my life. It’s allowed me to achieve at levels outside my peer group
(SIGNIFICANCE) and given me a lot of CERTAINTY by finding financial
freedom by 30.

On the flip side, valuing SIGNIFICANCE would leave me stressed, worried about
what others thought about me, and ultimately I was disconnected with those closest
around me. The drive for CERTAINTY has also stunted my dreams of what is
possible for myself and left me minimizing my God-given talents in exchange for
comfort.

This understanding then led to uncovering the Primary Question I’ve been asking
myself most of my life. It’s a question that I asked myself so often, I didn’t even
realize I was asking it!

How can I become more significant in order to get people to like me?

It sounds a bit silly now when I see it written out, but by being completely honest
with myself, I realized that this question was driving me at a sub-conscious
level. The more I thought about it, the more it makes sense. The fear of not being
enough -> the fear of not being loved.

So being able to see this question on paper really allowed me to see that my main
driver for SIGNIFICANCE was the main reason I wasn’t able to love/connect with
others. Operating from a place of SIGNIFICANCE and CERTAINTY didn’t
allow me to be vulnerable. Catch 22!

But here’s the best thing. Once I uncovered this, I had the opportunity to re-
evaluate my primary needs. Remember, YOU are not a function of your past.

YOU get to re-write and re-order your needs if you so choose.

So, here’s my new order of needs today:

 Love/Connection
 Contribution
 Growth
 Variety
 Significance
 Certainty

One of the best distinctions is that if I serve others through love first, everything
will cascade downwards from here.

Love/connection -> Contribution -> Growth -> Variety -> Significance ->
Certainty

This literally changes my entire focus in life. It will change how I communicate
with friends and family. It will change the way that I write. I’m finally writing
from the inside out (from my heart), vs. the outside in (from my head).

This change in order also directly affects my primary question. It has now
become:

How can I love and enjoy even more in this moment now?

This one simple distinction and shift in focus changes everything. The more I ask
this question of myself, the richer my life has become.

I’ve already found myself reaching out to others that I previously wouldn’t have
before. I’m filled with gratitude for all the blessings in my life, both good and
bad. Because ultimately, every life experience is what led up to the gift of
TODAY.

This also really changes my focus internally and I’m more clear with my 10-year
plan than ever before. My purpose and mission is to help others to live a rich
life. I intend on doing this by helping others to grow their finances and
simultaneously helping them to uncover their WHY for building wealth.

My vision is to help as many people as I can to build wealth in a manner that

leaves them fulfilled, happy all along the way, and eager to receive/contribute
more than they ever thought possible.

This will be entirely apparent in this site moving forward, and also as I begin to
launch my coaching services in 2016.

Breakthrough #2 – An Intimate Relationship

without Intimacy is Just a Friendship
The second major breakthrough I made at DWD was around
relationships. Specifically, around how I can reconnect with my wife at a level we
haven’t been at for years now.
I’ve been together with my wife now for over 18 years (10 of which we’ve been
married).

There is absolutely no denying that we love each other, but if you asked me the
level of passion that we’ve had over the past several years, I’d have given it a
2/10. That’s harsh I know, but it’s true. We loved each other dearly, but we were
missing the intimacy that we once had.

I think both of us at some level just figured it’s a part of life and a phase you need
to go through. BS.

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There
are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.”

– Dream for an Insomniac

When Tony told us there was a way to get back to where we were when we first
met, I was super excited, but with reservation. I didn’t want to get my hopes up to
high.

But, he spent an entire day focused on relationships and I was hooked. We learned
about:

6 Different Positions of a Relationship

 Position 1 – A magnificent relationship with love & passion.

 Position 2 – A relationship with love, but little or no passion.
 Position 3 – A relationship with not much love and not much passion.
 Position 4 – You are planning your escape.
 Position 5 – You are not in a relationship but want to be in one.
 Position 6 – You are not in a relationship and don’t want to be in one.

Based on this, I quickly identified with Position 2 (as did a large majority of the
room).

What Tony taught next was invaluable.

We learned about relationship stressors that can cause a marriage or long-term

relationship to deteriorate over time.

Why does attraction diminish over time?

We learned how depolarization occurs when masculine energy and a feminine

energy are not fully expressed between one and other. This can lead to irritation,
frustration, stacking, and stonewalling (shutting each other out).
So, what can we do to escape this common pattern?

It’s shockingly simple, but it boils down to understanding ourselves first and
finally understanding each other. I can’t cover everything we learned in detail, but
here are some quick notes you can use TODAY to improve your relationship.

Men, try this with your woman.

1. Give her attention, ALL the time!!

2. Be completely present with her, ALL the time!
3. Give her reassurance, ALL the time!

If you do this, your woman ain’t going ANYWHERE!

Remember, being present with your woman means you are really listening and
empathizing with her. She doesn’t want you to FIX IT!! (No matter how much
you want to.) She simply wants to be understood and heard. Just beyond that
rant/rambling is an incredibly beautiful state and your woman will LOVE you for
it.

It’s not easy to do necessarily, but you do it because you’re a man and you’d do
anything for the woman you love. Let her know that you would fight to the death
for her and never let anything happen to her so long as you live. Make her FEEL
it.
Women, try this with your man.

1. Admire and appreciate him for who he is!

2. Be open, vulnerable, and playful!
3. Give him FREEDOM and love!

If you do this, your man ain’t going ANYWHERE!

Masculine energy needs to run wild like a stallion. Embrace this and let your man
run free. You will find yourself feeling more loved and safer than ever
before. Embrace your playful nature and share your innate sensuality. It will drive
him crazy!

Remember, building an extraordinary and fulfilling relationship starts with

YOU. Always ask the question, “How can I give even more of myself to meet my
partner’s needs at the deepest levels? How can I get addicted to finding new ways
to making him/her happy?

I can’t tell you how excited I was to get back home to my wife and just be present
with her. In fact, I shared openly with my entire group.

Let’s just say, it’s been an explosive past week home! Wow. I’d say we jumped
from a 2 all the way to a 9!

Now I’m not naive enough to think it’s always going to be peaches and roses from
here on in, but just to know that we can get back to where we once were (Position
1) is so incredibly exciting on so many levels. Boo yah!!

Conclusion
So, was Date with Destiny worth it?

1000% yes!!

How could I ever place a price tag on finding the core of who I AM? Or, having
the opportunity to write my own destiny exactly as I see and feel it? Or, learning
the ultimate strategies to show up as the best version of myself for my wife and
children… PRICELESS.
How could I ever place a price tag on resurrecting my marriage from a slow
emotional death that brings back passion, purpose, and joy?! PRICELESS.

Would I have known what I was going to uncover any of this before attending the
event?

Absolutely not. It took a leap of faith, moving beyond my comfort zone, & a $10k
intervention!

My New Outlook

So in the end (or shall I say, the beginning), it looks like My Date with
Destiny found me.

Someone/something/God/the Universe was looking out for me and I am sooooo

thankful that I was given these gifts of clarity. I can’t thank Tony and his team
enough for facilitating this journey and I will always be a raving fan. I met some
incredible people at DWD who will be friends for life and I can’t wait to explore
my next Tony Robbins event.

The world is my oyster and I want it ALL. I want my income and lifestyle to be a
full reflection of how many people I am able to serve and help. If I’m doing an
outstanding job, my life will continue to flourish. I don’t expect it to be an easy
road, but it will be one paved with new blessings around each and every
corner. Life is about possibility, NOT settling for good.

Finally, I don’t believe you’ve read this post on accident. I think you were
supposed to (as weird and strange as that may sound!). And, maybe, just maybe…
you’ll find some inspiration to trust your gut and step over any fear holding you
back currently. If you do, I believe you’ll begin to feel the wind of God’s grace
upon your back and begin to realize it’s always been there all along.

All I can say at this point is that if you have the means, find a way to get to one
of Tony’s LIVE events. You won’t regret it.

Know that it’s not a matter of changing into someone you’d like to be, rather a
remembrance of who you ALREADY ARE at your core. If you truly embrace
your essence, life will blossom and flourish well beyond your wildest dreams. It’s
freedom that is unlike anything I’ve ever known, and I lovingly wish this for YOU.

Readers, I’ve only just scratched the surface of what I’ve learned, but I fully
intend on sharing more with you over the coming year. Thanks for taking the

time to read my longest post to date! I’d love to hear any of your thoughts
or questions. Cheers!

When a friend told me he had an extra ticket for Tony Robbins‘ program Date with Destiny in
Florida and invited me to go with him, I didn’t hesitate and I said yes on the spot!
For a couple of years, I had played around with the idea of participating in this full immersion
experience with Tony Robbins. The price hold me back, but true to be said that was an excuse. I
really didn’t feel ready and I lacked the courage that is necessary if you want to give an honest,
truthful gaze within your self. Allowing yourself to shade light on the most remote and dark
corners of your life isn’t really a pleasure. What if the abyss looks back at you, Nietzsche would
ask. But, as I found out during the experience, gazing at your abyss it’s absolutely liberating and
enlightening.

Think about it: hasn’t it be true also for your life that before a major breakthrough or leap in your
life, you had to face self-doubt, fear and some anxiety?
Of course, the training with Tony Robbins was not the first time I had an experience that provided
important breakthroughs in my life. In fact, a few years ago, I had an experience that shifted
completely my life and critical decisions followed. It changed the quality of my life, because it was
empowering and I felt that for the first time in my life I had been very truthful and honest to
myself.

BUT YOU ARE NEVER DONE GROWING. THE ONE

THAT DOES NOT MOVE FORWARD, MOVES BACKWARDS:
IT’S A LAW OF LIFE.
So, participating in Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny event was an opportunity to make another
critical leap forward. A quantum leap, if you want, that resulted in a quality leap as well.

MY PERSONAL NOTES
During the entire five days of the intense event (yes, intense, because every day we started at 10
am and finished around 2 am, without counting the intensity of the emotional roller coaster you
are put through), I took lots of notes about my experience there. I jotted down quotes, insights,
impressions… Here is a snapshot of my notebook:
As a way to share with you some of the learnings I experienced, I thought of transcribing here
some of the notes. I hope they inspire you as they inspired me (I suggest you transcribe those
that inspire you most and you mull over them):

“Emotional Fitness: extraordinary life is created by extraordinary emotions.”

“Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.”
“When you are upset with someone, in reality you are upset with their rules.”
“People violate their rules to meet their needs.”
“People are addicted to problems.”
“Love is the oxygen of the soul.”
“Get rid of the rules that make you suffer.”
“BREAKTHROUGH IS A MOMENT WHEN EVERYTHING CHANGES.”
“Stop making your happiness depending upon the other’s happiness. Stop living by
rules and expectations. Live by love.”
“Free yourself from an ideal that makes you a prisoner.”
“Passion is found in the realm of uncertainty.”
“The only thing that keeps you from getting what you want is the story you tell yourself
about why you’re not getting it.”
“When you think you gave it all, when you think you are in the darkest night of your
life… Victory is near!”
“Change your story, and you will change your life.”
“You cannot control external events, but you can control the meanings you attach to
those events.”
“Whenever you are suffering it’s because you are obsessed with yourself.”
“It’s not that you are frustrated: it;’s that you have so many rules…”
“Trade expectations for appreciations and your life will change immediately.”
“LIFE IS HAPPENING FOR ME… NOT TO ME…”
“What else did I miss because I judged myself or others?”
“What if this is it, and you start enjoying completely?”
“What if everything is divine time?”
“I get what I tolerate.”
“Me…. me…. me…. is the suffering song.”
The most important decision: to live in a beautiful state of mind, no matter what
happens.”
“You are better than your patterns.”

ONE OF MY BIGGEST SURPRISES.

Off all the insights, breakthroughs and experiences I had, I want to highlight and share with you
one in particular. It’s related to an exercise in which Tony Robbins helped us to discover
our primary question and to change it so that we can be more true to our selves… [Here you find
my one-pager that will help your own inquiry].
What’s a primary question? The primary question is the primary pattern that shapes your life. It is
a dominant question “that filters your conscious and unconscious thinking on a consistent basis in
your life. It becomes the ultimate laser and/or filter for what you constantly notice (or fail to notice)
and experience in your life” (from the event’s guidebook).
I DID SOME SERIOUS AND DEEP SOUL SEARCHING. I
WONDERED WHAT MY PRIMARY FOCUS HAS BEEN
DURING MY LIFE… AND THE ANSWER SURPRISED ME.
It came as unexpected. In fact, an expression in Italian came up that has shaped my primary
question. The expression is: fare bella figura. Translated literally it means: making a good figure.
In other words: make a good impression. This is an expression we hear all the time in Italy, since
our early childhood, as we are socialized into our family and community of belonging. This is
what matters: to make a good impression. The reverse, instead, is the worst that can happen to
you: fare brutta figura. That is, to make a bad figure. We might compare it with what here in the
United States are the virtues of being a winner and the curse of being a loser.

So, I discovered that my primary question has been influenced and shaped a lot by the
preoccupation with constantly making a good impression and avoiding making a bad impression.
As a result, my old primary question was: how can I make sure I make a good impression all the
time?
If you think about it, it’s quite a stressful question. It puts the emphasis on appearing, rather then
on being. It highlights the importance of achievement rather than fulfillment. It makes avoiding
bad impression and validation (instead of learning) as your primary goal. What a way to construct
my own unhappiness!!!

We were then given the opportunity to change our old primary question with a new primary
question: one that more reflects who we truly are and who we want to become.
It took me a while and several other exercises to uncover my true values and my authentic life
mission, to come up with an empowering new primary question, one that would help me to stay
in a beautiful state, that allows me to be free of my fears and problems, and assists me in loving
and serving others. So here is the new primary question I came up with for my life:

HOW CAN I BE EVEN MORE THAT LOVE THAT HEALS AND

TRANSFORMS?
Quite a different from the one that was shaping my life for a long time, isn’t it?

I hope reading these notes from my experience with Tony Robbins will inspire you as well.
Maybe you start wondering what your primary question has been so far, and maybe you come up
with one that you enjoy more, that frees you, that allows your true essence to be awaken.

If you want, I invite you to share below what your primary question is (either the old one or the
one you come up now).

Also, I have a one-page sheet with 19 questions that can help your inquiry in a practical and
effective way. You can download it here. This holiday season might be for you as well a good
time to pause and to reflect about who you really are and who you want to become even more.
DO YOU WANT TO EXPLORE YOUR PRIMARY QUESTION?
GET THE 19 QUESTIONS TO CREATE YOUR NEW PRIMARY
QUESTION
In this one-pager you will find 19 questions that will help you to explore, envision and
create the primary question that will empower you!

11 AMAZING LESSONS FROM DATE

WITH DESTINY
Date With Destiny is a seminar for the soul.

I’ve had the great joy of going twice now, my first time in 2013 and recently this past
December in Boca Raton, Florida.
One might think why would you go to the same seminar twice?

Date With Destiny is never the same…

Date With Destiny is a journey into what’s been driving every single decision you’ve
made up until now.

Date With Destiny is an accelerator course to remembering who you are and what
you’re made for.

Date With Destiny is a new beginning…and a new destiny.

Date With Destiny is sacred, beautiful, amazing, epic, awesome, inspiring,

transformational, and a mind-blowing experience where you experience 6 1/2 days
with the legendary Tony Robbins and 3,000 other beautiful souls.

And Date With Destiny was recently produced into “I am not your Guru”, an award-
winning documentary by Joe Berlinger.

Just like I shared 11 amazing life lessons from Unleash The Power Within, this
episode is geared to give you the top lessons and insights I gained from my favorite
Tony Robbins seminar.

1) Frustration means you’re about to have a breakthrough.

Nobody ever changed their life when they were satisfied or ok with how things
are going. Its when you’re so frustrated and you hit a threshold that enough is
enough and you must change NOW! The new version of a breakthrough is living in a
beautiful state, because success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. When you
live in a beautiful state, you’re producing so much energy that you’ll not only make
the breakthrough…you’ll enjoy every moment along the way.

2) Be cheerful instead of happy.

The difference between cheerfulness and happiness is that when you’re cheerful,
people get to see and experience it too. Happiness is in your mind, cheerfulness fills
people up from the Soul.

3) What’s your primary question?

We all have a question that drives our focus moment to moment. Often, this
question is unconscious and we don’t even realize it until we take the time to focus
and discover what it is. For me it was How can I make progress faster? This may sound
like a great question because its focused on growth and progress, but it also carries
with it stress when things aren’t happening “fast enough”. Thus I chose to change my
question and a week after Date With Destiny, I sprained my ankle and
embodied trusting the timing of everything.

4) Perfection is not a standard.

If you’ve been a perfectionist throughout your life, this is your wake up call. There is
no such thing as perfection. Perfection is not even a high standard…its a standard
that nobody will ever meet. When you choose to be a perfectionist, you will never be
able to accept things as they are…which means you can’t be with life and this causes
an enormous amount of stress and destruction in life.

5) Remember who you are at your core essence.

Masculine and feminine, which is your core? Society, media and recent movies have
flip-flopped masculine and feminine roles…confusing us in how to act to fit in with
society. This causes challenges not only in relationships, but also in owning oneself as
a person. How can you tell what your core is?

Masculine is driven by purpose and mission, craves freedom and brings raw
presence.

Feminine is driven by intimate relationships, craves filling up and brings radiance and
light.

We’re made of both energies, however there’s one that we’re dominant with.
Remember what your core is and lead from there.

6) Polarity creates passion.

Generally marriages don’t fail because of a lack of love. They fail because of a lack of
passion. In fact, almost all relationships fail because of a lack of passion…and polarity
is the key to passion. When a man shows up as feminine and his partner is feminine,
there’s no polarity. Same for if a woman shows up as masculine and her partner is
masculine. If you are in a relationship and you feel that you’ve been experiencing
these challenges, check out this article I wrote with solutions to bringing back
intimacy in your relationship.

7) Triggers for masculine…

The three main triggers for the masculine happen when their partner criticizes them,
closes up on them or tries to control them. Solutions to all three include appreciating
the masculine, opening up to them with playfulness and giving them the freedom
they need.

8) Triggers for feminine…

The three main triggers for the feminine happen when their partner makes them feel
unseen, doesn’t try to understand them, and makes them feel unsafe. The main
solution is to give them raw presence…every time they need it.

9) Consciously choose your values.

We’re often conditioned with rules as we grow up. We can change our rules, and
what’s stronger than our rules is our values. For me, I chose to make my #1 value
God/Universe/Soul-guided decisions. Why? Because Tony says that its our decisions
that lead to our destiny so I figured that these are the best decisions to make.

10) Live like so wide awake…like you’re driving a Bugatti at 233 mph.

Tony said one of the coolest experiences of his life recently was driving a Bugatti at
233 mph. Date With Destiny is all about living life wide awake and conscious, and he
used this metaphor because in order to drive and survive the experience…he had to
be so wide awake. Any turn he made with a slight margin of error could’ve meant
crashing…which could’ve meant death. When we live wide awake, we’re able to show
up and bring and receive greater value from every situation in life.

11) Live an integrated life.

I first heard about spiral dynamics at Date With Destiny back in 2013. Its a map
created by Claire Graves and later further developed by Ken Wilber on the stages of
human consciousness since the dawn of mankind. Currently there’s a first tier and
second tier of consciousness. Donny Epstein spoke about the second tier of
consciousness in a previous episode, and this has to do with humanity’s new
awakening. Tony does an exercise where people wear hats representing each stage
of consciousness within the first tier and ends it with announcing the importance of
living an integrated life. We are all one, everyone has value, there are many parts of
us…internally and externally. When we live from the 2nd tier of consciousness,
abundance is our natural playground and love is our legacy.

After attending Tony Robbin's signature event Unleash The Power Within 5 times within the last 5
years, I decided to finally step up and attend his most advanced program, Date With Destiny in Palm
Springs of December 2012.

If you follow this blog at all or watch my videos, you most likely know that I'm a huge Tony Robbins
fan and have been heavily influenced by his work. It all started for me 9 years ago, when I was a shy,
depressed young boy trying to find his way in this world and felt helpless to change my
circumstances. I didn't believe I could change or that a better life was available to me… until I
discovered Tony Robbins and his powerful programs that began to influence my way of
thinking. Over the last 9 years, I've been through every Tony Robbins book, audio program and video
that's ever been created and have taken dozens of friends to his Unleash The Power Within seminar
on multiple occasions. Every time I attended UPW, I gained tremendous value from it and my life
always improved. Date With Destiny was always on the horizon for me, but I never committed to it
until I made it a goal last year as one of my 2012 New Year Resolutions.

CLICK HERE to learn more about Tony Robbins events.

This page contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product through one of them, I will receive a
commission (at no additional cost to you). I only ever endorse products that I have personally
used and benefitted from personally. Thank you for your support!

Last year when I attended UPW in New Jersey and San Jose, I wrote a 4-part series review of the
event on this blog, along with lengthy videos and details about the experience. I received A LOT of
value by doing that, as it forced me to share the material with others and drove Tony Robbins
teachings even deeper into my nervous system. For this Date With Destiny review, I will be sharing
details about the 6-day event and my experience of it, but unfortunately it won't be as detailed as
the Unleash The Power Within Review, simply because I'm terrified by how long it would take me to
complete a 6-series review of the event. DWD was much longer, more intense, and jam-packed with
even more content than UPW and it'd take forever for me to share everything that occurred during
that event. But, I will share the best of the best and details about how it improved my life. You will
be able to apply these strategies to your own life, but I will say there is NOTHING like attending
the event live and in-person. If you have the opportunity to attend this event, or any other Tony
Robbins event, I'd say go for it!

Watch the video below to hear about my experience at DWD:

(Click here to watch the video on YouTube)

FULL DISCLOSURE: Since I did this video, I was actually contacted by the Tony Robbins team to
partner with them in their affiliate program, as well as to offer my subscribers a $20 off site-wide
coupon on orders over $100. So if you want to purchase any Tony Robbins programs or
products, CLICK HERE and use the coupon code MASTERY on checkout to save $20. Please
note that I am now an “affiliate” for Tony Robbins and benefit financially if you decide to purchase
through my link.

Day 1 Of Date With Destiny Review

There were over 2,000 participants in attendance, from 67 countries around the world. This was
Tony Robbins 70th Date With Destiny event, and everyone in the room was more excited than
ever. Before attending the event, everyone had to fill out a detailed report and questionnaire that
would elicit important information about how you operate, including your values and rules. Going
through the process helps you learn about yourself, but the information is more for Tony Robbins to
study for each person in attendance so that he can add as much value as possible and sometimes
work with individuals one-on-one.
 A big component of Date With Destiny
is that everyone is split up into teams. There were I believe between 25 to 30 teams at the event,
which means that you're not sitting with or on the same team as whomever you came to the event
with. Each team has a team name, cheer, and team leaders that help you make the event enjoyable
and worthwhile. You pick a buddy at the event which you work with closely throughout the 6-days
and participate in the exercises with. I found this extremely useful, as I attended the event by myself
and quickly had some close friendships and a sense of camaraderie at the event.

Date With Destiny is a self-discovery experience. It's an event where you explore the force
that controls every thought, feeling, behaviour, and decision of your life. This is known as your
Blueprint, or model of the world, which is something that we will be exploring more in-depth later. But,
your Blueprint consists of your beliefs, values, and rules. Most of us didn't consciously select our
beliefs, values and rules, which causes us to not move towards or create the ultimate destiny we want
for our lives. By taking control of these areas of your life, you are able to be pulled towards the life
that you want and your ultimate destiny can be fulfilled.

2 Master Skills In Life

Tony Robbins discusses how there are 2 master skills in life:

1) The Science of Achievement

This is something that most people are already good at, or at least those that were in attendance of
the event. Most of the planet has only $2/day to live off of, where most people in North America lives
in abundance in comparison. It isn't more achievement that is the answer for our lives, even though
most of us feel we haven't achieved enough.

2) The Art of Fulfillment

What is missing in most of our lives is a sense of fulfillment. With more fulfillment in our lives, we will
also naturally achieve more and give more, but ultimately more fulfillment is required to live a rich and
meaningful life.

Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.

Robbins talks about how there are only a couple of things that will make you fulfilled, which are:

1) Growing

If you want one word for happiness, it's progress. When you are making progress towards
something or growing, you feel most alive and happy. You don't need to be where you want to be
today, but as long as you're making progress towards it you will have a sense of happiness and
excitement inside of you.

God knows you are not made to be comfortable, you are made to grow.

Most people get comfortable when things are “good”. But, you do not want to be just “good”. Good is
the enemy of great. Good is the slow death. When someone says that they feel “good”, it usually
means like hell. But people use softeners or certain words to avoid feeling how they really feel – all to
avoid the truth and to be comfortable. These softeners limit us from feeling pain. The moment
you can be honest with yourself, you have an opportunity to grow.

At the event, we learned two new meanings for certain words: frustration and confusion.

Frustration means you are about to have a breakthrough. Anytime you feel frustrated, you should
quickly convert that into excitement. Confusion means you're about to learn something, as your
brain needs to come up with something new. Anytime you experience confusion, you should quickly
start to celebrate.

Most people perceive problems to be bad. What if problems were always gifts? It's up to us to
find the gifts. You see, anything that doesn't match your blueprint of how you think things should be
is what you perceive as a problem. But we are the ones that create the problems, as problems are all
relative. It's the story about the problem that is the problem.

Every problem you have is life happening for you, not to you.

Tony Robbins says that the #1 problem you have is that you think you're not supposed to have any
problems. People want to have no problems in life, but don't realize that if this was the case they
wouldn't grow or become stronger. They wouldn't be fulfilled, and life would be boring – they would
be miserable. The path of least resistance will never make you feel proud, but the path of resistance
will always make you grow.

The secret to life is to constantly be stretching. If you can't, then you must.

2) Giving

The other thing that will make us fulfilled is a sense of contributing and to be giving. When we give,
we immediately get outside of ourselves and feel happy. The only reason that we grow is so that
we have something to give. If we didn't contribute in any way, we'd feel worthless. Contribution is a
law of the universe, as anything that doesn't contribute in some form gets eliminated by evolution. If
we all contributed more, we'd have a deeper sense of meaning in our lives and feel more fulfilled.

What controls the quality of your life?

The quality of our lives is nothing but the quality of our emotions.

Emotion is why someone will run into a building and give their life for a stranger – the emotion to
serve, which comes from a meaning that by giving my own life, I am more significant. The minute we
experience meaning, it triggers emotion. The twin forces of life are meaning and emotion. Meaning
is the force that shapes life, emotion is what colors it.
You cannot control the events of your life, only what things mean.

What controls your ultimate destiny?

Your destiny is who you are going to become and what you are going to give in this lifetime. What
controls your destiny is your decisions. Decisions equal destiny, or direction of your life. It's our
decisions, not our conditions that control our destiny. It's what you decide to do with the conditions.

Every moment of your life, including this one right now, you are making 3 decisions:

1) What to focus on.

You are constantly focusing on something during every moment. Whatever you focus on, you
feel. Focus equals reality to the individual, even if its not real in actuality. And what you focus on is
what you get in life. We must learn how to control our focus throughout our lives, which will shape
which direction we're going.

You can identify someone's destiny based on 3 questions:

Do you focus on what you can control, or can't control?

Do you focus on the past, present or the future?

Do you focus on what you have or what is missing in your life?

What you focus on will determine whether you are depressed or not. Depression is NOT a disease,
it's merely a pattern of focus. By taking control of your focus, you are able to radically shift the quality
of your life.

2) What does it mean?

The moment you focus on something, you give it a a meaning. Is this good or bad? Is this person
teasing me or being disrespectful? Is this a challenge or a gift?

Most achievers are always trying to control the events of their lives. While you can't control all of the
events, you can always control the meaning that you give events.

Meaning = Emotion = Life

Another word for meaning is your story. We come up with stories, or disempowering meanings, that
control our lives. These stories is what prevents us from taking action or making progress in certain
areas. You must become a master of meaning and learn to find the good in every situation and come
up with more empowering meanings for the events of your life.

3) What are you going to do?

The meaning you create will usually determine what you're going to do in the moment. Your meaning
creates a certain state, and your state controls your behaviour.
The 6 Human Needs

An important piece of Tony Robbins work at Date With Destiny is identifying what your top needs are
from the 6 Human Needs. We all have 6 needs, or 6 reasons of why we do anything. The needs are:

1) Certainty
2) Variety
3) Significance
4) Connection/Love
5) Growth
6) Contribution

One of the biggest breakthroughs I had at Date With Destiny was changing the needs that I valued
most. Before Date With Destiny, my top two needs were 1) Significance and 2) Certainty. 80% of
people in North America have these as their top two needs, whether they know it or not, and
the consequences of it are horrific. By having significance as my top need I would always compare
myself to others and whenever I'd achieve something, it was never enough. I always had to have
more, which is an endless loop and you never really get to feel significant. It kept me out of
relationships, as I was always looking for something better and I never really got to enjoy my
accomplishments. By valuing certainty as #2, I would stay in my comfort zone and would have to feel
certain before I would open up, love, grow, do something crazy, or really give to someone else. When
I felt uncertain or insignificant, very little love or contribution would flow out of me. The breakthrough
I made was changing the needs I valued to being 1) Love and 2) Contribution. Now I feel and
experience love no matter what, and am always contributing rather than having to feel significant or
certain first.

People are in your life if their needs are constantly being met. If their needs are met, they will
never leave you.
There were many other big pieces of day 1 of Date With Destiny, including a powerful exercise we did
to change our story and to effectively blame the person in our life that has contributed the most to our
story being the way it is. I had many breakthroughs, but didn't realize the true breakthroughs were
about to come in the next few days.

Day 2 Of Date With Destiny Review

On day 2 of Date With Destiny, Tony Robbins began talking about something called meta-program,
along with the cycle of meaning and the spheres of influence. I won't explain meta-programs, as
that's a challenging topic to explain, but I will briefly touch on the cycle of meaning.

The Cycle Of Meaning

Everything that we do, consciously or unconsciously, we do in order to meet one or more of our six
human needs. Most people have a target they're after, like money or losing weight, the ultimate job,
or a great relationship. However, these targets are only vehicles that we use to meet our needs. We
can always create new targets and hit them constantly, but unless we have our needs met at a deep
level and not a surface level, we will not really be happy.

We all develop certain behaviours or actions, whether they be good or bad, to meet our needs. To
change the behaviour, we need to break the old pattern because it's in your body and programmed to
meet your needs, and create a new pattern. But what's deeper than the behaviour is the emotions
you experience, which is what triggers the behaviour or pattern.

The quality of life is determined by the quality of our emotions.

People that engage in destructive behaviours only do it when they are in a certain state: they feel
bored, or stressed, or lonely, or anxious. Whatever we feel in any given moment will dictate what we
end up doing. If you change your emotional state, the behaviour changes automatically, as well as
what you experience.

The ultimate force behind patterns or behaviour and emotions is your Model of the World, also known
as your Blueprint, which consists of your rules and beliefs of why things are the way they are and how
things should be. Change your beliefs, and you'll change everything. One of the best ways to make a
lasting change in your life is to make a shift in your Identity, which is the sum total of beliefs about
who you are. If you, for example, adopted the identity of a nutritionist or fitness model, it would
automatically transform your behaviours around over-eating or exercise.

The Emotional Triad

In any moment in time, the meaning you give to a situation is shaped by your Emotional Triad. The
Emotional Triad that you currently embody creates the meaning, and the meaning fires off teh
emotion. Therefore, the power to change and expand the fuel of emotions available to you lies in the
three patterns of the Triad.
1) Physiology

How you engage your body: your posture, breathing, tone of voice, movement, etc…

2) Focus

What you focus on, you feel. What is your current pattern of focus? What are you giving attention to
in the moment?

3) Language/Meaning

The words you use to describe your experience become your experience. Your habitual language
patterns create the meaning in any situation.

The quickest way out of pain and into pleasure is by changing the Triad you are experiencing in the
moment. Regardless of the situation, if you shift your Triad powerfully enough, you will transform.

Power Virtues and Incantations

Another big part of day 2 was creating your 4 primary Power Virtues and using the power of
Incantations to really condition them into your nervous system. The 4 Power Virtues that I selected
for myself are, 1) I am confident, 2) I am determined, 3) I am loving, and 4) I am happy. These
are the emotional states that I need to most tap into in order to really live the life I want.

We then used Incantations to condition these new beliefs and virtues into our nervous system. An
incantation is a phrase or language pattern that is said out loud and with an actively engaged
physiology. Incantations involve all 3 areas of the Emotional Triad, including focus, language and
physiology.

Speak that which you wish to become.

Some sample incantations that we spoke at Date With Destiny are:

All I need is within me now.

I love my life and I am so blessed.

At last at last the past is past;

I've broken free and won.
And now it's time to love myself
And really have some fun.

God's wealth is circulating in my life.

His wealth flows to me in avalanches of abundance.
All my needs, desires, and goals are met instantaneously
by infinite intelligence and I give thanks
for all my good now and for all God's riches
for I am one with God and God is everything.

Oneness Blessing

One of my favourite parts of Date

With Destiny was experiencing a Oneness Blessing, which was one of the most profound spiritual
experiences of my life. It's difficult to explain, as it's something you need to experience, but Tony
shared about how him and his wife experienced this blessing which transformed their lives – they felt
causeless joy and they eventually went to India to the Oneness University to learn more about how
to experience these types of blessings.

Everyone in the room got in a meditative state and cleared out our chakras, and then had these
Oneness Blessers come by and touch us on our head, which gave me a profound experience. It's
difficult to explain my experience, but it was incredible, and something I plan on further exploring. We
did two types of Oneness Blessings at the event, the first one definitely had more of an impact on me.

Your Primary Question

Another one of the most powerful parts of day 2 was discovering what my past Primary Question was,
and then replacing it with a new Primary Question. Tony describes how we all have a primary
question – a question we ask everyday of our lives that controls our focus and direction of our lives.

My past Primary Question was “How can I become better?”

My Primary Question had benefitted me for years, as I was always focused on becoming better
everyday, but also limited me without me realizing it. The limitation was that it would pre-suppose that
I already wasn't good enough. I changed my Primary Question to now be:

How can I become even better, while appreciating even more of who I am and the love that is
inside of me right now?

I added the words “even better” and the second piece, which allows me now to appreciate who I
currently am, where I'm at, and the love that is inside of me (which is what I'm really after in life).
Day 3 Of Date With Destiny Review

During day 3, we began to explore spirituality and the levels of consciousness. Tony Robbins
measures your level of consciousness by your level of caring. The more that you care, the more
conscious you are. Consciousness change is a change in caring. He models this work from Dr.
Graves, author of Spiral Dynamics.

Levels of Consciousness

There are four levels of consciousness:

1) Egocentric

All babies are born egocentric, or selfish. This is only being focused on yourself.

2) Ethnocentric

This is when you are no longer completely selfish and begin to care about your family, your friends,
the people in your circle. In short, you care about those who have the ability to give you pain or
pleasure.

3) Worldcentric

This is where you care about everyone. While it's easy to say you care about everyone, true caring is
demonstrated by emotional connectivity: you feel pain when someone else feels pain, and you try to
do something to try to help them get out of it. They can't give you pain or pleasure, but you care
because you feel a connection. And your caring leads to action. Likewise, you feel joy for those who
feel joy, even though they have no ability to affect your life.

4) Spirit-centric

When you're spirit-centric, you care about everything: every animal, every creature, every facet of
nature (rocks, trees, the sky, etc.), not just humans. Few people on earth reach this level of
consciousness, to the point where they couldn't imagine hurting an insect let alone another human
being.

What creates your problems is operating at a low level of consciousness. To get out of a
problem, you need to get in a higher level of consciousness.
Values And Rules

Your values and rules control all of your decision making. Everything is controlled by your beliefs and
values.

A value is an emotional state that we believe is most important for us to experience or

avoid. There are two types of values: Towards Values and Away From Values. Towards values
are anything that we're trying to move towards, such as happiness, love, passion, success, security,
gratitude, energy, peace, freedom, etc… Away from values are anything we're trying to move away
from, such as failure, loneliness, rejection, anger, depression, sadness, boredom, anxiety, overwhelm,
guilt, etc…

To help discover your top values, you need to ask yourself:

1) Which value do you work hardest to experience?

2) Which value do you work hardest to avoid?

Most of us have our values in conflict. We want success, but are trying to avoid failure or
rejection. That doesn't work, as in order to experience success, you're going to have to face failure
and rejection. Anytime your values are in conflict, then you will sabotage yourself or be immobilized
to take action.

We all have a hierarchy of values that are most important to us that we work harder to try to
experience. The hierarchy will determine the direction or destiny we experience. If you value security
#1, you will make radically different decisions in life than someone who values adventure as #1. At
Date With Destiny, we do a lot of exercises and in-depth work to discover our current values and then
figure out what our ultimate destiny will be and the values we will need, in the order we need them, to
achieve that ultimate destiny.

Our Rules are the beliefs we have about what has to happen to experience our values, or
emotional states. For many, they have the belief that in order to feel happy they need to make a
certain amount of money, or achieve a certain goal or objective. For others, in order to be happy they
just need to smile, or feel grateful. You want your rules to be as easy as possible for you to
experience your Towards Values, so you can feel them on a daily basis. For our Away From Values,
we have rules to feel depressed or anger. For some, to feel depressed they believe they need to not
have any control over their lives, have nothing go their way, not be where they want to be, etc…
whereas for others, they hardly experience depression because their rule is that to feel depression
you have to lie to yourself and not appreciate anything in your life. You want to change your rules
around your Away From Values so that it becomes very difficult for you to experience the negative
emotions, so you'll feel them a lot less.

During day 3, we also did a Goal Setting Workshop to discover what our ultimate destiny is and who
we want to become. We set specific goals, many of which I have listed in my 2013 New Year
Resolutions.
Day 4 Of Date With Destiny Review

Day 4 of Date With Destiny was all about

relationships! It's one of the most powerful day, as Tony Robbins performs many interventions and
turns many relationships and marriages around. Tony is constantly doing interventions and working
with the audience on the other days, but during day 4 it was really the most fascinating.

What is the purpose of relationships? To magnify human emotion.

There is nothing on this planet that will make you grow more spiritually than a relationship, as a
relationship brings up our deepest fears of not being enough and not being loved. In order to have a
fulfilling relationship, you must get rid of the belief that your partner determines how you feel – only we
determine how we feel.

Masculine And Feminine Polarity

Sexual attraction, spiritual ecstasy, and intimate connection thrives in a relationship when there is a
distinct polarity between the energies of the individuals involved. In other words, the more opposed
the sexual energies between two people are (male vs. female energy), the stronger the attraction will
be in the relationship. Sexual polarity is the term used for the physical chemistry, the magnetic pull,
and the overwhelming physical response we feel when we meet someone with the energy opposite to
our own. If two people have a similar polarity, then the attraction between them will be diminished.

Tony Robbins describes the different qualities and traits of masculine and feminine. Masculine is all
about direction, purpose, wanting to experience freedom, is stimulated by challenge,
etc… whereas feminine is all about being free, open, flowing, wanting to experience love,
wants to be understood, wants to be owned, stimulated by praise, etc…

There are different types of masculine and feminine energy, what Tony Robbins calls Dark Masculine
and Light Masculine, along with Dark Feminine and Light Feminine. I don't have enough time to go
into details of this, but David Deida in the book The Way of the Superior Man talks about a lot of these
principles which is a book worth reading if you're a man!

The 5 Relationship Stressors

There are 5 pitfalls in a relationship, called the 5 Relationship Stressors, listed below:

1) Loss of Attraction

2) Irritation, Frustration, Emotional Stacking and Stonewalling

3) Loss of Physical Passion

4) Loss of Commitment

5) Story of Incompatibility

I've attached a video below of Tony Robbins and Sage discussing the 5 Relationship Stressors, if you
want to learn more about it:

(Click here to watch the video on YouTube)

I found the 4 R's to be useful, which stand for: Resistance, Resentment, Rejection and
Repression. Ultimately, you can avoid them by communicating in your relationship how you feel so
that you don't build up any resistance and resentment, which leads to the last two which are deadly.

Lack Of Intimacy

There are certain things that Tony Robbins pointed out that made a lot of sense to me and light bulbs
went off. He says there's three things that shut down lack of intimacy in men and for women.

For women, what shuts down intimacy is:

1) Feeling unseen.
Solution: Give her attention, all the time!

2) Feeling unsafe/can't trust.

Solution: Give her reassurance, all the time!

3) Feeling that she is not understood.

Solution: Give her real presence, all the time!

For men, what shuts down intimacy is:

1) Being criticized.
Solution: Admire and appreciate.
2) Feeling closed.
Solution: Be open and playful.

3) Feeling controlled.
Solution: Give freedom and love.

The Three Dimensions of a Relationship

There are three dimensions of a relationship, similar to the three levels of love that Tony Robbins
describes that I mentioned in the Unleash The Power Within review.

1 Dimensional: It's all about yourself.

Your focus is on what you are getting out of the relationship. You try to control things in the
relationship based on the outside world. You are at an egocentric level.

2 Dimensional: It's all about equality.

Your focus is both on meeting your needs as well as your partners. Your belief is that “I will take care
of myself, you will take care of yourself, and we will try to take care of each other. If I can't meet your
needs, however, I'm out of the relationship.” You are playing at an ethnocentric level.

3 Dimensional: Your needs are my needs.

In a stage three relationship, you take total responsibility for how the other person feels. You will not
stop or give up for any reason until you meet your partner's needs. This is a three-dimensional
relationship; you are at a world- or spirit-centric level.

Day 5 Of Date With Destiny Review

Day 5 is called “Transformation Day”, as

it's the day where we create our new values and rules for our lives.

Most of this day was working with our buddy and spending countless hours discovering our new
values and rules to the point where our brain turned to mush. I'm not going to go into the details of
the entire process, as there were countless examples and it's quite a complicating and gruelling
process, but it involves analyzing every value in a specific order and a lot of deep thought to discover
the new values you want and the rules for them.

My new towards values, which I mentioned in my video, are:

1) Health & Energy
2) Love
3) Happy & Grateful
4) Passion
5) Confidence & Presence
6) Physically Fit
7) Success & Achievement
8) Fun & Adventure
9) Learn & Grow
10) Being My Best
11) Investing
12) Contributing

The biggest breakthrough was getting rid of significance from my #1 value and putting love, happy,
grateful, passion, etc… above being physically fit and success. This shift made me go from achieving
to be happy, to now happily achieving. That is a world of difference for me, and I feel it everyday.

Some of my new rules for these values are:

I experience health and energy anytime I a) do anything that increases my physical well-being; or b)
take a deep breath; or c) consume fruits and vegetables; or d) drink water; or e) focus on positive
thoughts or be in a positive state.

I experience love anytime I a) am loving; or b) am warm towards others; or c) focus on and remember
the love that is always in my heart; or d) connect with God; or e) my state enhances the way others
feel.

I experience happiness and gratitude anytime I a) remember and appreciate all of the good that
already exists in my life; or b) feel thankful for God or anyone else; or c) wake up another day alive.

As you can see, I have a menu of options, I'm in control of all of them, and it's very easy for me to
achieve the values that I want to feel each day. This is setting myself up to win.

My new away from values are:

1) Consistent, Debilitating Depression

2) Consistent, Debilitating Laziness & Procrastination
3) Consistent, Debilitating Unworthiness
4) Consistent, Inappropriate Tired & Exhaustion
5) Consistent, Debilitating Doubt
6) Consistent, Inappropriate Overwhelm
7) Consistent, Inappropriate Frustration
8) Consistent, Inappropriate, Debilitating Anger & Annoyed
9) Consistent, Inappropriate Boredom
10) Consistent, Debilitating, Inappropriate Shyness
11) Consistent, Debilitating Illusion of Failure
12) Consistent, Inappropriate Illusion of Rejection

As you can see, I added consistent, inappropriate and debilitating before many of these values as it is
sometimes useful to experience these emotions, but not consistently or in debilitating or inappropriate
ways.

Some of my new rules for these values are:

I experience consistent, debilitating feelings of depression only if I were to consistently lie to myself
and believe that I have no control over anything, instead of remembering how fortunate I really am
and that I am in control of my life and how I feel.
I experience consistent, debilitating feelings of laziness and procrastination only if I were to
consistently do absolutely nothing that move me towards my ultimate destiny for a period of time,
instead of realizing that I can easily make progress by taking simple actions.

I experience consistent, debilitating feelings of unworthiness only if I were to consistently lie to myself
about how I am not enough, instead of remembering the truth that I am someone of value and that
everything in my life is outstanding.

As you can see from these new rules, it's very difficult for me now to experience depression, laziness,
procrastination or unworthiness. I've languaged them so that I'd have to lie to myself or have a false
belief about these feelings, instead of remembering the truth.

Mission Statement

We also spent time on day 5 creating our mission statement, also known as the purpose of our
life. We had to make sure our mission statement had “be” and “do” statements, was stated in the
positive, included ourselves and others, was brief, able to experience it daily, and use emotionally
charged words that make us happy.

My mission statement is:

The purpose of my life is to be even more fully alive, grow and make a difference in the lives of
others.

This is something that empowers me daily and something that I can look at on my wall and it gets me
motivated to take action. At the core, it lifts me up and feels congruent to how I want to be living my
life.

Day 6 Of Date With Destiny Review

The final day of Date With Destiny

was called “Integration Day”, as it allowed us to fully integrate our values, rules, mission statement,
power virtues, primary question, and everything that we learned as part of our life. We ended up
making a cool poster that I displayed in my video and now hang on my wall so that I can see
everyday.

One of the ways that we integrated these changes is through teaming up in a group of 4 and having to
use incantations and a lot of energy to really condition our brains to believe these new changes. We
used an incantation that we would say, “I, Stefan, see, hear, know, and feel that the purpose of my life
is to XYZ.” We would have to use intense levels of energy while doing it, and were only able to move
onto the next section until everyone in our group was satisfied and agreed that the person speaking
was congruent with the new belief or value.
Overall, Date With Destiny was by far one of the most incredible, life-changing experiences of
my life. There was so much material and powerful lessons to take away from the event, and I'm still
digesting it over a month later! I feel that most of the changes I made were permanent and are now
apart of who I am. Of course, it wasn't a magic pill and all of my problems aren't solved, but I made a
lot of changes from the experience and am happier and more fulfilled because of it. I continue to do
my best to implement the strategies and lessons I learned from it and make sure I'm applying it as
much as I can. I'll never forget my experience during Date With Destiny with Tony Robbins, and look
forward to attending some of his other higher level programs and even re-attending Date With Destiny
at some point in the future.

I hope you enjoyed this Date With Destiny review. I'd love to hear what you think, especially if you've
attended Date With Destiny before, or been to Unleash The Power Within, or are thinking of attending
it. Just post your comments below and I'll be sure to answer.

FULL DISCLOSURE: Since I did this video, I was actually contacted by the Tony Robbins team to
partner with them in their affiliate program, as well as to offer my subscribers a $20 off site-wide
coupon on orders over $100. So if you want to purchase any Tony Robbins programs or
products, CLICK HERE and use the coupon code MASTERY on checkout to save $20. Please
note that I am now an “affiliate” for Tony Robbins and benefit financially if you decide to purchase
through my link.

Last week I traveled to Palm Springs, CA for SIX long-ass days with Tony
Robbins for Date With Destiny – a seminar he holds only once a year in
the US. After UPW (read about my experience at his Unleash the Power
Withinseminar), I was pretty excited to learn even more about tearing
down limiting beliefs and re-evaluating values to live the life I desire. I
read his book, Awaken the Giant Within, and I have to be honest and
say that this seminar essentially goes over the same key elements that
are in the book. I did gain some other insights and burned about 5000
calories jumping around like a crazy person, but if you want to save
yourself $5k (yes, that is the price of this thing), just pick up the book
and do the exercises yourself. With that being said, here are some of the
main things I took away after 6 days of watching Tony Robbins scream
and getting way less then my much needed 7 hours of sleep (since the
days went anywhere from midnight to 2am. Seriously).

1. Who’s love did you crave as a child and what needs did that result in?

This was a key lesson early in the seminar – did you value your father or
your mothers love? What kind of person did you have to be to get the
love and approval of that person? If you had to be very strong and
supportive for your depressed mother, or never talk back and get perfect
grades for your militant father – you are likely still living the pattern of
having to be that kind of person. You also created “needs” you met with
certain behaviors that resulted in you feeling good. Tony breaks these
needs down as follows:
Myself, like many other people, valued certainty and significance at the
highest level. When these are your main driving forces, you likely seek
situations where you can control things and where you can feel important
or special. Most of my decision making and behavior had the motive of
gaining these two things in my life – so even though we may say that the
target we are after is more money, losing weight or an amazing
relationship – these are all just vehicles that we use to meet our real
needs. That’s why you can have all the money in the world or the perfect
body and still be miserable, because what you’re really after isn’t being
met (which for all of us is ultimately to feel loved).

Tony teaches that although valuing these needs the most may have
served us up until this point in certain areas of our lives, they could also
be holding us back. Therefore, he asks the question “what do your top
two needs have to be now for your life to transform for the better, and if
you made this change, what would transform in your life?” For me,
putting love and connection in the place of significance and replacing
certainty with growth was what would help build the life I most desire.

2. What is your primary question in life?

This was a very valuable activity for me. What is your primary focus in
life? What do you find yourself consistently focusing on? You believe that
if you live by this question that you’re fulfilling the purpose of your life.
You believe that your question leads you to ultimate opportunity or
success. If you don’t live by this question, you believe that you will be in
massive pain, because you believe that your identity is tied to the
question.

My OLD primary question was “How can I prove that I am capable and
worthy?”

I felt that if I did not make something big of my life, or if I wasn’t hugely
successful that my life would have been wasted. I felt that I would never
feel accomplished or respected. The upside of this question is that it has
kept me driven, and keeps my standards for myself at a high level. The
downside is that putting so much pressure on myself runs the risk of
never quite being enough. This question, as you can see, was driven by
my aforementioned needs of certainty and significance.

My NEW primary question is “How can I appreciate myself even more in

this moment, and how can I appreciate God (or The Universe’s) guidance
even more right now?”

The new question helps to put me in a better state, reduces anxiety, and
gives me the feeling of calmness that comes with knowing that I am
being guided in the right direction, and how far I’ve come in life is proof
that I am in fact capable – and I need to appreciate that even more when
I start to get into a negative head space.

3. I AM… whatever you attach after the end of this statement is what you’ll become

Tony had us do incantations – a phrase or language pattern that is said

out loud and with an engaged physiology – generally after jumping
around and always while standing tall. He believes that these are the
most powerful tools available for conditioning new beliefs because they
are an active use of neurology and physiology. He says that just knowing
better will not make you better – you must SPEAK what you wish to
become, and with so much emotional intensity that you truly believe in
what you are saying. We screamed our incantations repetitively and were
encouraged to scream them out during a run, before going to bed or
when you wake up. While examples he gave were long and rhymed, I
simply chose “I AM CONFIDENT – I AM COURAGEOUS – I AM
DETERMINED”, because these are all of the things that I will need to
possess in order to live the life that I want for myself. I’ve been trying to
do them aloud as often as possible, which is generally when I remember
and when I am obviously not in public.

4. Reordering your values

To figure out your values, you can ask yourself the simple question,
“What is most important to you in life?” It is going to end up being what
you value most – the emotional state that you most desire. You may
answer “family, love, money…” but love is really the end value you’re
pursuing, where family and money are just the means to trigger that
emotional state you desire (for example, love, security, respect,
happiness). The lesson here is that often people are so busy pursuing
means values like money that they don’t achieve their true desires (end
values). Personally, my highest values were security, connection and
independence. This is very evident in how I live my life. I am very careful
with my money, so that I have financial security, and it also allows me
independence. BUT these same values could be holding me back in other
aspects of my life. For example, I don’t take risks with my money or in
business which holds me back from opportunity. Also, my strong need for
independence could hinder me because I need to be able to accept
assistance and not be so prideful. I won’t even get into how this has
messed with my personal relationships.

The question, then, is what values need to be highest on your list in order
to create the life that you desire? What values do you need to move down
on your list or add? For me, I removed security and replaced it with
growth. I kept connection and added playfulness (because I could use
more fun in my life) as well as courage (to take risks). I removed
independence completely and also added passion.

Tony makes an important observation, and that is that anytime you have
a difficult time making an important decision, you can be sure that it’s the
result of being unclear about your values. Reordering values was very
important for me to get a clear understanding of what I need to be more
open to in my life and the habits and patterns that I need to release.
Easier said than done, but having the opportunity to acknowledge things
like this are the first step in being able to make changes.

5. What are your rules?

After figuring out our values, Tony explained that we all have created
“rules” – which are beliefs about what has to happen in order for us to
feel as though our top values are met and we feel good. For example, for
someone to feel loved by another person, one person’s rules may be, “we
must be able to have intimate conversations, there must be plenty of
affection, and they must tell me they love me at least 5 times a day.”
While another person’s may be “caring for and appreciating one another.”
Which of these two people will feel loved more often? Are your rules
perhaps stopping you from experiencing feelings of happiness, love, or
success more frequently?

When you structure your life in a way where your happiness is

dependent on things you can’t control, you’re bound to experience
pain.

With this in mind, Tony had us recreate our rules to make these positive
emotions easier to experience every day. For example, “I will feel
connection anytime I communicate openly with others OR anytime I
notice the warmth and good in others.” Most of us have created so many
ways to feel bad and only a few ways to truly feel good – so you could be
living a very successful life and feel like you’re a failure if your using
impossible rules for yourself. The point here is that if you want to start
feeling more positive, healthy emotions – change what needs to happen
for you to feel good so that it’s not so damn hard to be happy.

There were many more aspects to this seminar, but these were my main
takeaways. He did a full day on relationships, a bunch of interventions
and people cried pretty much all day long. I’m not even kidding – people
opened up and got extremely emotional. At the end of it, we all made a
pretty board with our life mission, our new values, primary question and
incantation. This was mine:

So there you have it. I’ll leave you with some quotes and messages from
the seminar that I thought were pretty important:

> The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the level of uncertainty
that you can comfortably live with.

> If you have pain in any area of your life, it is a call to grow.

> It’s hard to love yourself when you’re not being yourself.

> Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.

> You cant be fearful and grateful simultaneously.

Now do your move! Say YES! (My Tony people will get that reference).