'Spare the rod and spoil the child,' our parents used to say, but these days everyone

seems to be
against physical punishment for children. Like anyone else, I am firmly against gratuitous
violence, particularly towards children but, in my opinion, a well-timed smack does no harm. A
smack is an instant punishment which should be administered when needed. My kids are grown
up now, but they got a smack when necessary, and they've grown into kind, well-balanced adults
who have also smacked their own children when necessary.

Kids need boundaries, and I believe that most of their bad behaviour arises because they are
testing the limits of acceptable behaviour. It's part of the growing up process, and it needs to be
handled in the right way. If the parent responds by saying, 'I'm really disappointed with you for
doing that, don't do it again,' the child believes he's gotten away with it, so the next instance of
bad behaviour will be even worse. And if you send them to their room, well, they probably don't
mind that, as they can go on the computer or watch TV, knowing their parent is not going to
disturb them during the allotted time of their 'punishment.'

If you respond to bad behaviour by saying, 'Wait 'til your father gets home,' the punishment is
deferred and, again, they've gotten away with it because when Dad gets home, he'll rightly tell
Mum she should have punished Junior right away, and what the hell does she expect him to do
about it now? Added to this, Junior is going to either a) be scared of his father, as he is presented
as some sort of avenger or, b) consider his father ineffectual, because he's always threatened with
him, but nothing ever comes of it. Either scenario is detrimental to both the parent/child
relationship and discipline in the home. The most effective punishment is the short, sharp shock,
administered at the time of the offence.

Children, like young animals, learn through pain. If a child burns his hand on a hot kettle, he
won't touch it again, because he may be curious but he's found out that hot things hurt. If a kitten
is giving the mother cat trouble, the cat will cuff the kitten or give it a nip and the trouble stops.
As long as the cat doesn't rip the kitten's throat out, there's no harm done, and the kitten has
learned the valuable lesson that there are acceptable standards of behaviour, and if you breach
those standards you'll be punished.

When it comes to your own litter, a judicious tap is a good weapon to have in your armoury, as
long as it is a smack and not a beating. No matter how bad the behaviour, you can never justify
or excuse brutality to a child, so don't spare the rod, but don't break it across your child's back
either.

There are so many parents who use corporal punishment believing it is the only thing that works,
or that they were spanked when they were a kid and are fine because of it. The ironic thing of it
is that even the military has "officially" claimed they no longer use corporal punishment on new
recruits; though I have friends who were recently in the military who said they were choked
slammed by their DI's while in boot camp.

The real question is: How often is spanking appropriate for the bad behavior? What type of
behavior that a child is participating in deserves a hit as a way to "teach them a lesson?"
The act of spanking is in part a lazy tool for parents to use. If the parent is doing their job as a
parent, their child would not be running into the road at the age of two, or sticking their fingers
in a light socket, or throwing glass vases around the house. Childproofing when a baby is first
born eliminates almost all problems that a toddler could get spanked over. Having a watchful eye
keeps children out of the road. Speaking respectfully and kindly to a toddler as they grow up
encourages kind respectful behavior as they age.

So why do so many parents need to hit their children to make them "learn a lesson?" Because
these parents do not have the proper parenting tools to teach their children any other way. There
are three types of personalities: The easy going child, the middle of the road child, and the strong
willed child. Children with an easy going temperament rarely have to be spanked even if their
parents believe in spanking. They obey parents regardless of how poor the parenting skills are.
Easy going children do not test their parents to make sure they mean what they are saying and
they aim to please the parents because they have a strong desire to do so.

Middle of the road children is somewhat compliant, yet they do test from time to time to make
sure their parents mean what they say. These children do not get into trouble all the time, but
occasionally will do something they have been told not to do, just to see what will happen. If
they find that their parents are full of hot air and won't follow through on their punishment
threats, they will often test more just to see what they can get away with, but with a desire to
please their parents and gain approval they do not test everything frequently.

Strong willed children will test everything multiple times and have very little desire to please
their parents. It's not that strong willed children don't love their parents, because they do. What
they need is strong concrete rules that have a fair and just punishment for bad behavior. Rarely is
hitting fair and just for any disorderly behavior a child might exhibit. The punishment should
either be natural consequences or it should fight the bad behavior.

A person's personality type is never out grown, thus most parents who believe in spanking are
either easy going temperaments or middle of the road temperaments, since they were spanked
occasionally and their temperaments gave their parents some space for bad parenting. Many of
these types of people are dealing with strong willed children and they don't understand that
spanking a strong willed child is not going to do them any good, except to alienate their child
from them.

Strong willed parents are likely to go one of two ways, either they were spanked frequently but
did not have negative feelings towards the spankings because their relationship with their parents
was strong, thus they will spank their children: Or they have extreme negative feelings of
spanking and will never spank their children, however they will often become severely frustrated
by their children and may lose their temper and spank out of habit.

I have yet to see a behavior that warrants being spanked. Most behaviors have either natural
consequence such as; breaking toys, means the child loses that toy and does not get another to
replace it, unless they work for it by doing chores and earning their own money to buy a new
one. Or hitting another child or adult, hitting a child back for this behavior is counter productive,
time outs in a quiet place by themselves for a set amount of time with a discussion on why we
don't hit works much better.

Setting clear rules in the house such as: Pick up after yourself, No hitting, No swearing, No
screaming at each other, No fighting, and No rude talk can be posted in a place where all can see.
Sticking to these rules no matter where you go or what you are doing is the key to proper
discipline (discipline means teaching not punishing!) If a child doesn't pick up after themselves
they can't do anything fun until their mess is clean. Natural consequences or time outs do work,
but with a strong willed child they will have to be done over and over and over again. Sometimes
with a strong willed child it will seem as if they aren't learning from the "easy" punishments and
some parents will want to go back to spanking, but the child is learning from the "easy"
punishments, but they must test the consequences again and again to make sure they will always
be the same. Inconsistency in the consequences will cause more bad behavior in the strong willed
child.

Hitting does not bring a parent closer to their child, but builds resentment in their child and
encourages rebellion later in their teen years. Most parents stop spanking their child once the
child is big enough to fight back, what does that say about spanking. It is a tool only used to
dominate over someone who is weaker and smaller to MAKE them do something you want them
to do. What does that teach the child about cooperation? How many wife beaters are created
through this type of punishment? We need to stop the madness of corporal punishment and start
use good parenting skills rather than hitting our children to dominate over them while they are
small.

Should Children Be Punished With Physical Punishment

Uploaded by Bw90BBaLL on Dec 31, 2005

Should Children Be Punished With Physical Punishment

It is generally believed that children are punished because adults want to teach them something. The whole
purpose of punishment, in the case of children, is intended to change their behaviour. Adults generally think that
they should do whatever it takes to get children to behave in an acceptable way. In order to get the children to
behave thus, adults often punish them physically—that is, through causing pain.

It is my opinion that physical punishment of children is an over reaction and can never be justified. First of all, it is
a very thin line between punishment and abuse of children. They have been to many cases where adults, claiming
that they intend to “reform” their children end up abusing them. Children have been burn and whipped senseless
and in many other ways treated like enemies. We all know that once an adult loses his temper, he is liable to
forget that what he has before him or her is a child who has committed a wrong, usually out of not understanding,
and not a crime.

Emotional scars are left on children who are disciplined with pain. Many criminals that we read about have turned
out to be those who had been abused as children. They become immune pain and to feelings for others. So what
the adults does to a child when he is punishing him, physically. Is actually helping to create a criminal—unless he,
the adult, is in control and he is able to punish without overdoing it. This, we know, cannot be guaranteed. Since
there is no way to control this, it is best that children be punished in other ways.

The caring parent can think of many ways of punishing a child without hurting their children. For example, children
can be stopped from watching their favourite programmes on television, or perhaps be grounded for fixed periods
of time or stopped from playing. Rules can be laid down and the punishments meted out as a consequences of
breaking the rules

Parents who really love their children will not want to cause them physical pain. They can think of other methods of
 punishment. This is my opinion.

How Should Parents Discipline Their Children? Is Corporal

Punishment A Form Of Child Abuse?
asked by ngureco 7 months ago

flag

answer this question

Cathi Sutton says

I believe corporal punishment can be taken to the extream and become abuse. But corporal
punishment used in a loving way to direct the mental and emotionl growth of a wayward child toward
the right direction, is absolutely not abuse. As Will Rogers said, (to paraphrase), you can tell the
child not to touch the coffee pot, but touch it he will, untill after he experiences the pain from the hot
coffee pot. There are "coffee pots" all through a child's formative years, and beyond, into the
teenage years, and on into early adulthood. If we simply let our children stumble there way through
life, how can we expect them to be good, concerned, productive, kind people? There are
consequences to the choices we make, and the actions we take. As surely as when it rains the
ground gets wet. Children must be taught the concept of consequences. If they do not learn this, it is
to their own peril, and to socity's. So spat a hand before it reaches the scalding coffee pot. And show
the child that you love him too much to let him burn himself badly!

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63
HOW TO DISCIPLINE THE CHILDRENS IN THEIR OWN WAY

by sarovai
published 7 months ago

Childrens , we knew the replica of parents. But we expect from them more than a adult. As such
childrens know their world. Even we think they should know the adults world. so we straight away go
for... keep reading →

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Miss D says
Adults in today's society are more afraid of children than the other way around. This is because
children have learnt that there are no real punishments when their behaviour extends beyond the
boundaries permitted by society. As young children we learn right from wrong. Unfortunately it is
now the case that children believe they can grow up disrespecting others as this is seen as the norm
and they are so often not taught otherwise.

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benitosuave says
Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;

if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.

14 If you strike him with the rod,

you will save his soul from Sheol [Hell].

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anisetta says
Yes, I believe that parents have the obligation and moral responsibity to discipline their children and
to ensure that they provide appropriate guidance so that their children become a valuable asset to
our society.

However, I do not believe that corporal punishment is the answer to unrully children. I believe that
love,understanding, lots of attention, friendship, and the modeling of good values and high standard
principles are the key to successfully bring up children that will be the future generation of
responsible adults and outstanding parents.

I think that corporal punishment is one form of child abuse. There is also verbal abuse and putting
the children down with sarcastic remarks, using bad language, yeling, and demonstrating frustration
to children when they are unable to differentiate from the parent's right to be upset and the parent's
lack of patience.

For me the keys to bringing a child into a responsible, polite, and well mannered adult are lots of
love, lots of understanding, lots of friendship, and some serious and firm talk about following
society's rules, which after all start at home and end at home.

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