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May 19, 2010

The Introverted Leader


Building on Your Quiet Strength
Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

©2009 Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.


Adapted by permission of Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
ISBN: 978-1-57675-577-8

Introduction
In an outgoing, Type-A business culture, the introvert Martin Luther King, Jr., and possibly President Barack
may feel excluded, overlooked, and misunderstood. Obama. There are millions of people who experience
Reticence can be mistaken for reluctance, arrogance, or deep discomfort and inhibition in interpersonal situ-
even lack of intelligence. These impressions can result ations. This is not because there is something wrong
in stalled careers, lost opportunities for advancement, with them. Introverts have a temperament that is
and wasted talent and expertise. In The Introverted more inner-focused, and they must adapt to an extro-
Leader, Jennifer B. Kahnweiler has created a manual verted world that is primarily driven by interpersonal
for understanding the challenges and opportunities relationships. Kahnweiler points out that there is a dif-
introverted leaders face daily, as well as a proven four- ference between introversion and shyness: shyness is
part process for managing one’s own introversion and driven by fear and social anxiety while introversion is
understanding the introversion of employees and col- a preference and should not be considered a problem.
leagues. She believes that it is possible to capitalize on Introverts can become successful leaders by turning
a quieter, more reflective demeanor and still adapt to a what might be considered weaknesses into strengths.
culture that rewards extroversion. Four Key Challenges
The list of famous introverted executives and leaders There are four key challenges that can result from
includes Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Andrea Jung, Kath- being an introverted professional:
erine Graham, Mother Theresa, Abraham Lincoln,
1. Stress

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

2. Perception gaps
3. Career derailers
Key Concepts
4. Invisibility
Jennifer Kahnweiler’s The Introverted Leader
These challenges can be significant hazards along the is a handbook for understanding and chang-
path to leadership and success. ing the introverted behaviors that can result in
Stress factors that introverts face in the workplace stalled careers.
include: Introverts face four main challenges:
• Work overload resulting from the introvert’s 1. Stress
inability to say no.
2. Perception Gaps
• Physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach-
aches, back problems, and stuttering. 3. Career Derailers

• “People exhaustion” brought on by discomfort 4. Invisibility


with personal interactions, surprises, and forced Kahnweiler offers the 4 P’s Process to help intro-
role playing. verts overcome these challenges and turn them
Introverted professionals have to be self-aware on a into positive opportunities:
continual basis to protect themselves from stress. 1. Preparation – Having a game plan
There are often key differences between how a person 2. Presence – Existing fully in the moment
thinks people see him, and how they actually do,
resulting in perception gaps. It can be helpful for the 3. Push - Taking deliberate steps to stretch out
introvert to understand the nature and results of this of one’s comfort zone
disconnect between their intended message and what 4. Practice - Making these behaviors part of
comes across. Introverted behaviors can result in neg- one’s daily repertoire
ative impressions. For example, silence and sparse
words can create the impression that the person is
withdrawn, gruff, insensitive, or even rude. Another g g g g
misperception is that introverts lack quick thinking. Information about the author and subject:
If they do not share their opinion immediately they www.theintrovertedleaderblog.com
are seen as not contributing, procrastinating, or being
Information about this book and other business titles:
indecisive. Quieter people can also be seen as weak,
www.bkconnection.com
with no backbone, especially when many leaders
around them adopt more aggressive stances. Related summaries in the BBS Library:
It requires more than technical or subject matter Words that Work
expertise to get people motivated and achieve results. It’s Not What You Say, It’s What People Hear
Interpersonal skills are also required. Introverted By Dr. Frank Luntz
people inevitably hit a wall in their careers when they Talent Is Never Enough
do not attend to the relationship side of the equa- Discover the Choices That Will
tion. They are derailed by their lack of “soft skills.” Take You Beyond Your Talent
Introverts also tend to undersell themselves, failing to By John C. Maxwell
make their achievements known to others. This can
result in missed opportunities and career stagnation.
The introvert is disadvantaged by reluctance to net-
work and make connections with others. Professional

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 2
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

advancement often depends on the relationships that and turn them into opportunities. The 4 P’s Process
have been forged over time, both inside and outside of is an easy-to-remember road map to improve perfor-
work. Quieter people often avoid politics, preferring mance, and a practical method for breaking out of the
to lay low and stay focused and productive. However, status quo and effectively managing introversion. The
politics is not always negative. Good politics is about 4 P’s are:
connecting with the right people who can provide
1. Preparation – Having a game plan
valuable information and career support. A person
who cannot learn effective ways of getting comfort- 2. Presence – Existing fully in the moment
able with people may come to work tense and geared 3. Push - Taking deliberate steps to stretch out of
up for battle, which can be exhausting and negatively one’s comfort zone
affect job performance.
4. Practice - Making these behaviors part of one’s
Not being front and center is another trait that can daily repertoire
create problems for the introvert. The key impacts of
being “invisible” are lost oppor-
tunities, ideas not heard, and lost The “shiny” extroverted person will often get the resources he
personal power. Management needs to do his job while the more introverted co-worker sits
tends to overlook the strengths, back in frustration. This can happen even if the extroverted
capabilities, and accomplish-
person is all show.
ments of introverted employees
because of their reluctance to call attention to them-
selves. Because introverts tend to be more laid back, Together, they create a system for planning strategy in
their insights, ideas, and solutions can fly below the a wide variety of leadership scenarios.
radar. Preparation is the single best action step that a person
Unlocking Success: The 4 P’s Process can take to avoid the problems caused by introver-
sion. When the introvert gives attention and focus to
Kahnweiler believes that there are tangible steps that
strategizing for interpersonal interactions, stress is
can be taken by the introvert to address challenges
reduced and the perception gap closes. Some tech-
niques include:

About the Author • Anticipating questions and writing down pos-


sible answers
Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D., has been a cor-
• Role playing with a friend
porate consultant, speaker, and coach for more
than 25 years and is president of AboutYOU, • Preparing extensive notes
Inc. She co-wrote Shaping Your HR Role: Suc- • Observing those who have great interpersonal
ceeding in Today’s Organizations and has been a skills and integrating their approaches
columnist for AARP the Magazine, The Society of
Human Resources, and the Atlanta Journal-Consti- Presence is defined as “a person’s bearing especially
tution. She earned the Career Practitioner of the when it commands respectful attention.” Being in the
Year Award from the national Career Develop- moment is an effective way to demonstrate leadership.
ment Association, is a founding member of the It can close the perception gap between the intended
Leadership Executive Circle of the Women’s image and the perceived image while building rap-
Leadership Exchange, and is on the board of the port and personal power. Strategies for establishing
National Speakers Association – Georgia, and presence include:
the Workplace Learning Society of the Technol- • Focusing on the current moment
ogy Association of Georgia.
• Making eye contact

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 3
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

• Listening persuade other people. The ability to present ideas


coherently in all kinds of situations is a powerful tool
• Seeking to understand
in advancing one’s career. The introvert, however, is
• Being authentic often terrified of public speaking. Kahnweiler out-
• Being prepared for unanticipated happenings lines a plan for using the 4 P’s Process to gain mastery
over presenting to groups and individuals.
• Telling stories
In the preparation phase, the speaker must prepare
• Remembering to breathe both the material and the presenter for maximum
impact. Suggestions on how to
Most experts on human behavior conclude that our tempera- prepare the material include:
ments are shaped by a combination of both genes and envi- • Know the Purpose – Decide on
ronmental influences. It is not a question of nature or nurture, major messages and desired take-
but how these two elements interact with each other. aways.

Pushing past fears to overcome them is easier said • Tell a Story – Stories can engage
than done, yet many of the introverted leaders inter- an audience, drive a point home, and humanize
viewed by Kahnweiler did take deliberate steps to the presentation.
push themselves out of their comfort zones and into • No More PowerPoint Karaoke – Replace rote slide
uncomfortable interpersonal interactions, resulting in reading with photos, images, a single question,
careers getting back on track and even accelerating. key words, or audio.
Pushing can make a person more visible, demonstrate
The introvert can prepare himself for a presentation
their potential, and open up new opportunities.
by following these steps:
Practice is the final step in the 4 P’s Process. It increases
• Conquer fear using reflection, being in the
proficiency, incorporates more tools into the standing
moment, and getting involved with the audience.
repertoire, facilitates experimentation, and provides
the ability to recalibrate approach and demeanor • Visualize a successful presentation.
depending on the situation. Conscious repetition
• Get energized with breathing exercises, a brisk
teaches the introvert how to close the perception gap
walk, a good breakfast, and plenty of rest.
and increase trust, credibility, and confidence.
• Rehearse the presentation out loud with a tape
Strengths and Soft Spots recorder, and in front of friends.
When stretched to perform, introverted leaders
often discover capacities that they did not know • Arrive early to avoid anxiety and deal with any
existed. They often see themselves as technically last-minute problems.
competent but not as people who can profoundly In the presence phase, the speaker must focus on
influence others. Yet when offered an opportunity connecting with the audience using voice and body
to take charge, introverted individuals can lead with language. To connect with the audience, Kahnweiler
a presence more powerful than their more talkative suggests making eye contact with different people
counterparts. Kahnweiler includes a “Quiz for Intro- in the audience, focusing on what the audience is
verts” that can be used to measure strengths and soft receiving, and giving the audience a call to action.
spots and help the introvert focus on problem areas. It The speaking voice can form up to 85 percent of the
can also be used as a baseline for measuring progress impression a person makes. Therefore, it is important
over time and a springboard for coaching discussions for the introvert to strengthen and improve the voice
Public Speaking through breathing and relaxation techniques. Body
language can make or break a presentation. Good
To be an effective leader in an organization or pro-
posture is very important in establishing stage pres-
fession, one must be able to educate, inform, and

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 4
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

ence, and stepping out from behind a lectern can help up to management level, there are four points for the
connect the speaker to the audience. introvert to consider in the preparation stage:
The push phase of public speaking engages the intro- 1. Self knowledge – When a person knows her
vert in overcoming their dread and getting serious strengths and weaknesses, she can be more objec-
about increasing their skills. Joining Toastmasters tive, show appropriate concern for others, and ask
can provide frequent opportunities to practice public for help when necessary.
speaking in a nonthreatening atmosphere and get
2. Know the team – Get a handle on the styles, skill
thoughtful feedback. The introvert can push through
sets, and preferences of each team member.
fear by using creativity, which can be mixed into the
presentation through humor, photos, stories, car- 3. Build in motivation – Meet with people one-on-one
toons, and audience participation. to understand who they are and what will moti-
vate them to be involved and engaged.
The most effective phase for improving public speak-
ing skills is practice. The introverted leader can seek 4. See the big picture – Prepare for the leadership role
out opportunities to speak in order to improve and by using both left and right brain powers.
increase his comfort level. Presence can be established by making a profound
• Offer to give a recap of a recent training class at a impression on people. Successful leaders tend to
staff meeting. exhibit three strategies to establish presence:

• Share information gained at seminars and confer- 1. Learn to delegate – Identify potential barriers to let-
ences. ting go of tactical work.

• Volunteer to present a project status report. 2. Listen with attunement – Harness the power of lis-
tening with assertiveness.
It is helpful to ask a trusted colleague to observe the
presentation and provide candid feedback. 3. Observe facial expressions – Become competent at
both demonstrating emotions and reading the
Managing and Leading facial expressions of others.
Successful leaders know that
people want to be treated as Learning how to delegate is not the hard part. It is a matter of
more than cogs in a wheel. They matching the right person to the right task, knowing the capa-
want to matter. A person who is
genuine and shows sincere inter-
bilities of that person, and coaching them.
est in others will build trust and
honest communication. The ability to be truly present The push phase of adapting to a new management
with another person is one of the marks of effective role involves five key strategies:
leadership. In this regard, the introvert may have an 1. Self assertion – Ask for what is needed in a direct,
advantage. People who are considered introverted open and honest manner.
are often more comfortable talking to others in a
2. Conversations – Make time to talk to people, ask
one-on-one situation than in a group. They are also
questions, and get feedback.
considered to be excellent listeners who go for depth
rather than breadth in their conversations. 3. Facing conflict – Use disagreements between
people as a lever for productive action.
Preparing for a transition into management may
be daunting for the introvert who is accustomed to 4. Get information about the organization – Branch out
working on tasks where there is some certainty, speci- to learn more about the company and the indus-
ficity, and clear answers. In comparison, management try on a big picture level.
can appear vague, unclear, and ill-defined. Once the
5. Keep learning.
decision is made to accept an opportunity to move

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 5
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

Practice strengthens leadership skills. Successful 3. Appreciating the value of humor – Integrate some
leaders know that no one succeeds by themselves. lightness and humor into projects to engage both
They continue to surround themselves with support the extroverts and the introverts.
systems and advisors, and they are willing to seek
A project manager has many opportunities to practice
help by hiring a coach, enlisting a mentor, relying
all of these skills on a daily basis, and can also take
on experienced team members, and enrolling in both
advantage of advanced learning opportunities for
classroom and online seminars.
project managers.

Successful technical professionals and other successful intro- Managing Up


verted project leaders learn to segue between the extroverted The introvert may be overly cau-
tious or tentative in approaching
and introverted sides of their personalities in order to meet the
management to request sup-
demands of this multifaceted project management role. port, budget allocations, or other
changes. However, taking a wait-
Heading Up Projects and-see approach can be interpreted as weak. To
The heart of project management is being able to strengthen the partnership between employee and
influence people – including those who are not direct manager, applying the 4 P’s Process can be an effec-
reports. Projects involve the efforts of people across tive way to achieve the desired results.
several functions who have different skills and per-
spectives on the task at hand. Introverted project In the preparation phase of managing up, Kahnweiler
managers need specific people and leadership skills suggests that the employee initiate a meeting to clarify
to succeed. Three preparation strategies for success expectations after developing a list of intelligent and
are: open-ended questions to take to the meeting. This is
a powerful way to approach a supervisor or manager.
1. Coaching and mentoring the members of the team These questions fall into three categories:
2. Building credibility with team members 1. Roles and goals – What are the boss’s goals, the
3. Communicating expectations clearly company’s goals, the employee’s goals? What role
can the employee play to achieve these goals?
Exhibiting the quality of presence in project manage-
ment can be categorized in three key ways: 2. Style – What are the boss’s preferences, interests,
and work habits?
1. Soliciting input – People need to feel that their
opinions count. 3. Personal development – What are the strengths that
apply? What are the opportunities? What knowl-
2. Matching the medium to the message – Consider the edge or skills can be learned? Who might provide
appropriateness of using the phone, face-to-face coaching?
meetings, E-mail, text messages, or other technol-
ogies in different situations. The introvert can succeed in managing up by devel-
oping presence, using three key factors:
3. Learning to flip the switch – Use different techniques
for managing introverts and extroverts. 1. Maintain one’s true personality – Be open and
honest and solicit feedback on what is and is not
Push strategies for introverted project managers working.
include:
2. Pick low-hanging fruit – Create early results for a
1. Sharing the limelight – Look for opportunities to new job or a new boss, and document successes.
praise the team when milestones are reached.
3. No whining – The employee should approach the
2. Dealing with change – Provide information and boss with solutions, not just problems.
reassurance in times of uncertainty.
Managing upward requires initiating upward dia-

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 6
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

logue, which can be difficult for the introvert. 4. Plan where to sit in a meeting to be noticed, and
Kahnweiler suggests three push strategies that will stand when participating in conference calls to
make it easier over time: make the voice more robust.
1. Speak up – Give feedback that is focused on making Effective ways of establishing presence while playing
constructive change, not assigning blame. the meeting game include:
2. Know when not to manage up – In some situations it 1. Setting ground rules – Get the group to agree on
may not be safe to provide unwelcome feedback. guidelines to follow.
3. Stay on top of change – Know the boss’s current pri- 2. Using creative techniques to involve members.
orities and provide valuable information that will
3. Separating brainstorming from decision making.
help him stay on the cusp of change.
Kahnweiler recommends these push considerations
Managing upward is a combination of science and
to take the meeting to the next level:
art. By meeting regularly, asking questions, and pro-
viding valuable feedback, it is possible to ensure that 1. Weigh the pros and cons of using and allowing
mutual goals are met. By keeping up with organiza- technology in the meeting.
tional knowledge, the introvert can become a valued 2. Get involved in the meeting and stay engaged.
partner by ensuring personal goals are consistent
with the goals of the company. 3. Be prepared with facts and be ready to jump in
when needed
The Meeting Game
Mastering the meeting game is possible with prac-
Meetings are an important opportunity for recogni-
tice. Take advantage of every opportunity to practice
tion and advancement. However, the introvert may
meeting skills within the organization, in volunteer or
tend to clam up and feel intimidated, especially in a
sports organizations, and even at family gatherings.
group of extroverts. When her ideas and input do not
get recognized, she can lose out
by: What is your next step? Maybe it is to learn new skills, get
1. Not being credited for her exposed to a new area of the company, or even step into a
contributions. completely different career path. You need to help your boss
2. Having her ideas preempted know how to help you. Make it easy for him to mentor you
or hijacked by others. with thorough preparation.
3. Being perceived as not adding
much value to the group. Building Relationships
There are a multitude of ways to make oneself heard In today’s corporate world, the golf course, the com-
in a meeting, and tactics for heading up successful pany gym, or the local coffee shop often serves as the
meetings. The first step is preparation in advance of backdrop for informal pre-meetings. Sponsored com-
the meeting. munity events, conferences and trade shows are other
venues where deals get made out of the official lime-
1. Know the purpose and desired outcome of the light. Networking is the building of relationships for
meeting. mutual exchange. It is necessary, but it does not come
2. Have an agenda that provides a frame of refer- naturally to most introverts. However, they can still
ence and a way to measure progress. be strong relationship builders by working at it, fol-
lowing the 4 P’s Process.
3. Be heard in the room by planning strategy and
comments, and make a comment no more than In preparation, it is important to know the purpose
five minutes into the meeting. of the networking opportunity. Identifying the net-
working targets, writing down a personal agenda,

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 7
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

and drafting questions to break the ice and advance 3. Schedule visits or call customers even when there
the conversation will give the introvert more confi- is no immediate business to conduct.
dence. By having valuable information to offer and a
4. Start up organized table top conversations at din-
willingness to share experiences, ideas, and interests,
ners or luncheons.
the introvert will avoid the panic of suddenly having
nothing to say. Social networking can be used as a way 5. Stay close to comfortable socializers.
to create a warm relationship in advance of, but not 6. Volunteer for a professional, business, or commu-
in place of, personal contact. Introverts are more apt nity organizations.
to have negative and self-defeating thoughts, which
should be replaced with positive ones. The introvert should first practice networking skills in
safe environments to improve techniques and build
Presence can be established in networking situations confidence.
by listening. Because introverts focus on depth versus
breadth and listen well, they can build on this strength Wins from Using the 4 P’s Process
and segue into a conversation that reveals genuine When the 4 P’s Process is used to change behaviors,
interest in the other person. Conversations may start there are benefits for both the introvert and the orga-
out small, such as talking about the weather, but they nization. For the introvert, even a small amount of
can be segued into a topic of mutual interest that has preparation can boost confidence and reduce anxiety,
valuable outcomes. while creating a positive impression. Being present
in the moment helps the introvert manage stress and
Learning and teaching names is an extremely valu-
close the perception gap. Becoming more visible and
able skill in establishing presence, and one that many
engaged through push techniques results in more per-
introverts lack. Some techniques for remembering
sonal power and influence. Finally, practice addresses
names include:
all the challenges of being an intro-
On a macro level, as more individuals intentionally step out verted leader: stress, perception
gaps, career derailers, and invis-
of the prison of ineffective behaviors...and develop ways to use ibility. The 4 P’s Process can open
the quiet strength of introversion, organizations draw from the up career opportunities, create
collective talent of their entire organization. visibility, and build a tremendous
sense of confidence.
• Use the person’s name repeatedly.
There are also advantages for the organization. A con-
• Associate the name with someone else by that fident leader with a game plan performs at a higher
name. level and gets better results for the company. Lead-
ers who have presence are able to relate to employees
• Connect the name with a tangible object.
more effectively. Companies get a better return on
• Remember what a name rhymes with or sounds investment when leaders contribute their ideas and
like. do not remain silent. Leaders who continue to refine
• Use these techniques to teach others one’s own their people skills help their employees gain resilience
name. during inevitable organizational changes. However,
Kahnweiler cautions against trying too hard, which
The introvert must learn to step out of his com- can lead to exhaustion and self-defeat.
fort zone in order to win over new prospects and
strengthen ties with existing customers. Here is a What’s Next? Moving Toward Success
list of six practical tips to help introverts build and Applying the 4 P’s Process is not a onetime event
manage relationships: but an ongoing commitment to overcoming the chal-
lenges that introverts are faced with. Kahnweiler
1. Act the part – pretending lessens the nervousness.
recommends using this book as a basis for creating
2. Strike up conversations in random places. a 4 P’s action plan and writing down clear goals for
Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 8
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

improvement. By gaining new perspectives and prac- Contents


tical tools, introverts can build on their quiet strength, Introduction: What Is an Introverted Leader?
take hold of leadership roles, and gain confidence and
courage as they step out of the shadows. Chapter 1: Four Key Challenges

g g g g
Chapter 2: Unlocking Success: The 4 P’s Process
Chapter 3: Strengths and Soft Spots
Features of the Book Chapter 4: Public Speaking
Reading Time: 4 - 4.5, 128 pages
Chapter 5: Managing and Leading
The Introverted Leader is organized in a practi-
Chapter 6: Heading Up Projects
cal structure that lays out four key challenges for
introverted leaders: stress, perception gaps, derailed Chapter 7: Managing Up
careers, and invisibility. Each challenge is then stud- Chapter 8: The Meeting Game
ied through a focused and practical method for
effectively managing introversion by applying the 4 Chapter 9: Building Relationships
P’s: preparation, presence, push, and practice. Chapter 10: Wins From Using the 4 P’s Process
Each chapter contains tools, specific examples, and Chapter 11: What’s Next? Moving Toward Success
practical steps that present Kahnweiler’s ideas of
Notes
how to manage one’s own introversion, and also
understand, coach and maximize the contributions Acknowledgements
of introverts in the workplace. Kahnweiler includes
Index
a Quiz for Introverts and interpretive charts that can
identify behaviors that need attention and form a
baseline for measuring progress.
The book is intended for mid-level or aspiring man-
agers; project leaders; professionals in technical,
scientific, or technical fields; women in male-dom-
inated fields; and everyone who faces challenges in
having their voice heard. It is clear, concise, and cen-
tered on results. Readers are also referred to the Web
site www.theintrovertedleaderblog.com for ongoing
dialog on these topics.

Business Book Summaries® May 19, 2010 • Copyright © 2010 EBSCO Publishing Inc. • All Rights Reserved Page 9
The Introverted Leader Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D.

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