Mystic Cool Telewebinar

Six Weeks To
Rewire Your Brain
The TeleWebinar
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1 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey
My Stress Scores
1. Take the Perceived Stress Test at:
http://donjosephgoewey.com/perceived-stress-test
The results are completely anonymous.
2. Enter your score in the box below and date it.
Compare Your Score

to the Norms
My Stress Score
Category Mean Score
at the beginning
of the course Gender
Male 12.1
Female 13.7
Date: Age
18-29 14.2
My Stress Score 30-44 13.0
at the end of the 45-54 12.6
course 55-64 11.9

65 & older 12.0
Race
Date: White 12.8
Hispanic 14.0
Black 14.7
The range is zero (no stress) to Other Minority 14.1
40 (extreme stress)

Introduction to
Mystic Cool
Session
1
A Perfect Storm
of Stress

STRESS

Stress leads
to bad decisions
The greater the stress
the greater the
likelihood:
• We will choose risky alternatives or make
premature decisions
• Immediate survival goals will replace long
range considerations
• There will be a tendency toward aggression
and escape behaviors
• We will be less tolerant of ambiguity
• Communication channels will close
• Creative thinking will decline
Wesley E. Sime, PhD./MPH./PhD

Health and Human Performance
University of Nebraska

Stress is hard
on relationships
Stress Switches Our Mood Set Point to Negative
At Work
A brain under stress locks into Threat Mode:
• Fight, flight or freeze translates into attack, defend, or withdraw.
• Negative
g emotions take hold (anger,
g , anxiety,
y, enmity,
y,
depression)
• We-They, Me-First or Me-Against-You scenarios develop.
At Home
The greater the stress at work:
• The more reactive you’ll be with the normal ups and downs at
home.
• The more you’ll misperceive comments from your significant
other as slights, hearing judgments and criticisms in their tone of
voice
i ththan are actually
t ll there.
th
• And the more likely you are to judge the relationship as
negative and blame your loved one for it.
Neff, L.A. & Karney, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

Stress is hard on kids
“Mom Doesn’t Smile Much Anymore”
IIn a national
ti l study
t d off over a th
thousand
d children,
hild
The #1
interviewers gave children one wish to make for a
change they wanted to see in their parents. Their
parents were then asked to guess what their child
wished for. More than half of parents guessed it was
for more quality time together. It was the wrong predictor
answer. Most of the children wished for their parents
to be free of stress
stress. The research found that kids are
very good at reading signs of stress. They are good at
of your
child’s
detecting subtle cues about a parent’s mood, such as
their down-turned expression or heavy footsteps.
If our parents were less tired and stressed, said

one of the children interviewed, I think that the well being
kids would be less tired and stressed.
stressed
I know when my mom has a bad day because

is you.
when she picks me up from after school she
doesn’t smile, one young girl told interviewers.
She has a really frustrated look on her face. Daniel Siegel, M.D.
Child
Every good parent wants their children to be happy.
happy
Every good parent also wants to empower their child N
Neuropsychiatrist
hi i
to excel. The most effective thing a parent can do in UCLA
achieving both is to teach kids to transcend stress by
making the shift themselves.
Jeanna Bryner, “Kids to Parents: Leave the Stress at

Work,” Associated Press (January 23, 2007)
Work,
There’s Good News: Remove the stress, and people’s positive relationship
skills can — and usually do — take over and home life becomes what you
want it to be instead of what stress turns it into.

Stress makes
you sick
Every day, a million people call in sick
due to stress-related illness.
American Stress Institute
Acute Chronic
• Frequent colds • Heart disease
• Severe flu • Immunodeficiency
• Diminished sex drive • Diabetes-II
• Upset stomach • Ulcer
• Headache • Osteoporosis
• Muscle tension; back • Premature aging
and neck problems • Reproductive
• Skin rashes disorders
• Memory lapses • Clinical depression
• Attention deficit • Anxiety disorder
• Anxiety • Sleep disorders
• Lackluster energy • Impaired memory
• Sleeplessness • Learning disability
80% of serious illness is preceded by

high stress in the previous year.
American Medical Association

Neurotoxicity
Shrinking Brain Power and
the End of Peak Performance
Impaired Hippocampus Impaired Insular Cortex &
¾ Poor Memory Right Caudate
¾ Lower Capacity To Learn ¾ Low Self-Awareness
¾ Loss of New Brain Cell Production ¾ Uncooperative Tendencies
¾ Lack of Empathy, Compassion and
Debilitated Prefrontal Cortex Fairness
¾ Lost Proficiency at Planning, ¾ Apathetic
Strategizing and Decision-Making Hyperactive Amygdala
¾ Decline in Abstract Thinking, Cognitive
Flexibility, and Goal Directed Action ¾ Threat Mode
¾ Attention Deficit and Problems with ¾ Paranoia, Flight, Flight or Freeze
Initiating Appropriate Action and ¾ Negative Emotional Set Point
Inhibiting Inappropriate Action Serotonin/Dopamine Imbalance
Impaired Anterior Cingulate ¾ Low Morale
¾ Poor Error Detection, Prioritizing and
¾ Lackluster Attitude
Anticipating Events.
¾ Disconnected
¾ Drop in Reward-Based Learning and
¾ Ability to Learn New Behaviors Sympathetic Nervous System
¾ Unable to Mediate Anxiety, Anger and ¾ Low Energy Leading to Chronic Fatigue
Hyperactivity ¾ Dampened Immune System
Memory and Learning
National Geographic

It’s pervasive & growing
Nearly eight in ten Americans

struggle with extreme or
moderate stress
Three out of four adults report an
increase in stress over the past year.
Kids from 8 to 17 report increased worry
2006 with 45% reporting trouble
and stress,
sleeping, 36% reporting stress related
headaches, and 34% reporting eating too
much or too little.
American Psychological Association’s annual Stress in America Study, 2009

A Team of 10
Extremely
Stressed
4 of 10
(very low brain power)
A Stressor
Away from
Extreme Stress
4 of 10
(about to lose brain power) Stress-Free
2 of 10
(full brain power)
Annual Stress Survey of American Psychological Association
Can this team reach and

sustain peak performance?
Psychological
Fear BODY IN UPROAR
Stress Is Psychological Fear
PERCEIVED THREAT
NEGATIVE EMOTION
=
FEARFUL THINKING
The Brain Using You
The mind thinks
up emergencies
that the brain
believes are real.

Danger
Is it Real? Or Imagined?
Here’s the problem:
The primitive brain cannot

distinguish between real danger
and something we made up.
It sets off a stress reaction when

either is present.

“My life has been a series of
terrible calamities, some of
which actually happened.”
~Mark Twain

Peace Inside
Makes Us Larger
Than What Happens
Outside

There’s The World
Which we’ll define as
everything you don’t completely control.
And There’s You

What in this world
do you control
completely?

You have absolute control
over one thing:
Æ Your Attitude
• The power of attitude reflects
your spiritual nature.
• It is the sole means by which you
control your destiny.
• Fail to control your attitude and
you can be sure you will control
little else.

Neurology of Attitude
Prefrontal Cortex
Positive Negative
Emotions Emotions
(Left Side) (Right Side)
Peaceful Fearful
Resilient The Range Stressed
Optimistic Pessimistic

Inner Peace Builds
A Magnificent Brain
Tibetan Monk
Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, dubbed the happiest
man on Earth, was one of sixteen monks studied at
the University of Wisconsin's Waisman Brain
Imaging Lab. The findings led science to expand its
view of human potential.

Mystic Cool
Dynamically
y y Peaceful
Attitude
WHOLE
NOT FRAGMENTED
CONNECTED
CALM AND CLEAR INSIDE

WHATEVER’S
WHATEVER S OUTSIDE
You Using
QUIETLY ENGAGED, Th Brain
The B i
FULLY PRESENT

Neural Integration
Expanding Brain Power and
Sustained Peak Performance
9 Executive Functions light up, increasing proficiency at planning,
strategizing, decision-making, abstract thinking, cognitive flexibility, error detection,
and goal directed action. The dots start connecting themselves.
9 Emotional regulation attains optimal balance. You’re stimulated by a

challenge, so that you feel vibrant and inspired, but not so emotionally charged that
you become manic, chaotic, or rigid.
9 Fear extinguished: quieting fight/flight/freeze reactions. No fear, no stress.

You’re basically immune to stress.
9 Response flexibility lights up, which is the opposite of a kneejerk reaction.

Neurons signal you to pause before acting, inhibiting rash impulses and allowing you
to reflect on options.
9 Attuned communication is achieved, enabling interpersonal resonance.

9 Empathy is generated to see, feel, and understand a situation from someone
else’s point of view.
9 Insight is acquired through connection to other parts of the brain that produce
autobiographical memories. These images relate past to present to predict the future.
9 Intuition is generated through information from the neural networks surrounding

intestines (gut feelings) and heart (heartfelt feelings) integrating with higher brain
function to generate creative intelligence.
9 Morality is activated, generating the ethics to transcend a limited self-interest and

think and act for the larger good.
Mayo Foundation for

Medical Education and
Research

Neuroplasticity
A CHANGE OF ATTITUDE THAT
CHANGES OUR EXPERIENCE
CHANGES OUR BRAIN
Peace of
Mind is to
the Brain
what WATER
is to a
GARDEN.

Neuroplasticity At Work
The Study of a Bio-Tech Firm
Peace Works at Work
Left PFC The Change Right PFC
to from
Peaceful 8 Weeks of a Fearful
Resilient Mindfulness Stress Stressed
R d i P
Reduction Program
Productive Unproductive
CITATION: Alterations in Brain and Immune Function Produced by Mindfulness

Meditation,” Psychosomatic Medicine 65 (2003)
Meditation,

Stress is
psychological fear;
Peace is
neurological power.
Success is inner peace;

Succeeding is
letting go of fear.

Mahatma Gandhi
The difference between what

we do and what we are
capable of doing would
suffice to solve most of the
world’s problems.

Learning Goals
1. Learn to recognize psychological stress.
To heighten your awareness of the fearful thinking
and self-defeating attitudes that underlie stress.
2. Understand neurological power.

To build the dynamically peaceful attitude for the
optimal brain function that sustains peak
performance.
3. Master a set of internal tools.

To transcend stress and anxiety at the point of
inception to quickly restore cognitive and emotional
power.
4. Master a set of interpersonal tools.

To increase the sense of connection and
interpersonal resonance that sustains constructive
relationships.
5. Commit to a consistent practice.

To maximize creative intelligence, experience
greater fulfillment, and promote physical well being.
Check the learning objectives that you

9 target as most important for you.

Transcending the
Background Negativity Tool
THIS WEEK’S HOMEWORK
Practice One Thousand Times:

1. Be aware of negative, anxious, stress-provoking thoughts
whenever they occur. Notice the way these thoughts morph into
negative emotions that produce a perception of threat. Don’t try
to change these thoughts or feelings. For the moment, simply
observe them. If you criticize, blame or condemn yourself for
thinking and feeling negatively, simply observe this as another
negative thought.
2. Tell yourself: These thoughts and feelings are in me, not in

reality. Take a moment and see the truth in this. Let it sink in.
3. Don’t believe stressful thoughts: The brain can churn out

troubling thoughts at a rate of 50,000 a day. It’s not your fault.
It’s the way the brain is wired. You can’t stop thinking, but you
can stop believing
b li i these
h thoughts.
h h If you d don’t’ b
believe
li an anxious,
i
stressful, pessimistic thought it has no power. It’s just a thought
that comes and goes. When you don’t believe a negative
thought, it doesn’t turn into stress, anxiety, or depression.
The more you practice not believing negative thoughts, the more
joy you will experience and the more you will see solutions
instead of problems. Practice this process for two weeks and see
for yourself.
4. Remind yourself often that although negative thoughts and
feelings are “in me,” they are not me. They come and go like
clouds. But the essence of your being is like the blue sky these
clouds travel through and sometimes cover. Let your mind go
completely and become the blue sky for a moment.

Recharge Your Tool
Brain
Go for a walk outside.
• Three times a week, take a 20-30 minute walk in a

green environment to dissolve stress hormones and
oxygenate the brain.
• Leave your troubles at the trailhead and

and, as you walk
along, imagine each step puts your worries and
concerns further and further behind you.
• Be at peace. Open your mind and heart to experience

the life teeming all around
aro nd you.
o
Why walk? Research funded by the National Institute on

Aging found that moderate walking three times per week for a year
increased brain connectivity and brain function.
function Improvement was
especially found in the prefrontal executive networks, which aids in the
performance of complex tasks like planning, scheduling, dealing with
ambiguity, and working memory.
Walking is not strenuous and our large muscles don't take up the extra
oxygen and glucose the way it does during intense exercise.
Oxygen and glucose are the brain’s primary source of energy. Walking
helps us to think clearer because it increases the supply of energy that
reach our brain.

Awareness
Stress Is Fear;
Peace Is Power
Session
2
You At The Top
Exercise
Of Your Game
When you’re making things happen and feel relatively
stress-free, what is your experience internally?

A Dynamically
Peaceful Attitude
Check any of the qualities listed below that you want to strengthen.
• A calm, clear sense of • Faith in the face of

personal power and the adversity
integrity to assert your • Trust in the process
power without
overpowering others • Joy in the challenge
• Unafraid • A kind and empathic heart
• Unhurried • A willingness to forgive
• Free of worry • A disinterest in judging or

condemning
• Self-confident
• A felt connection with
• Open-minded, creative, one’s own heart, with
receptive, and accepting others, and with life itself
• A curiosity that is fully • An enduring sense of the
present whole that transcends the
• Energetic fragments
• Resilient • A sense of the

sacred.

Elements of Stress
Exercise
List elements that are present when you are under stress.

What is Stress?
Science’s Version
Stressor
9 Any kind of demand.
Stress
9 The appraisal that something
must be done about it, along
with:
9 The perception that the
demand overwhelms our
resources.
Richard Lazarus
University of California, Berkeley

Stress is Internal
It is happening in us
far more than to us.
If we get this, we can shift stress.

Building
Awareness
Awareness is the first step in

ending stress. It is awareness about:
What How What How

we we we we
think feel perceive relate
Through awareness, we loosen the grip of

stress reactions.

Transcending the
Background Negativity Tool
LAST WEEK’S HOMEWORK
Practice One Thousand Times

1. Be aware of negative, anxious, stress-provoking thoughts
whenever they occur. Notice the way these thoughts morph into
negative emotions that produce a perception of threat. Don’t try
to change these thoughts or feelings. For the moment, simply
observe them. If you criticize, blame or condemn yourself for
thinking and feeling negatively, simply observe this as another
negative thought.
2. Tell yourself: These thoughts and feelings are in me, not in

reality. Take a moment and see the truth in this. Let it sink in.
3. Don’t believe stressful thoughts: The brain can churn out

troubling thoughts at a rate of 50,000 a day. It’s not your fault.
It’s the way the brain is wired. You can’t stop thinking, but you
can stop believing these thoughts. If you don’t believe an anxious,
stressful, pessimistic thought it has no power. It’s just a thought
that comes and goes. When you don’t believe a negative
thought, it doesn’t turn into stress, anxiety, or depression.
The more you practice not believing negative thoughts, the more
joy you will experience and the more you will see solutions
instead of problems. Practice this process for two weeks and see
for yourself.
4. Remind yourself often that although negative thoughts and
feelings are “in me,” they are not me. They come and go like
clouds. But the essence of your being is like the blue sky these
clouds travel through and sometimes cover. Let your mind go
completely and become the blue sky for a moment.

Awareness Slows
Neural Firing
“The irony is that
once you are able to
define your
boundaries you
actually get freedom.
Daniel Siegel, MD, director
Mindfulness Awareness Research
Center at UCLA & author of The
Mindful Brain

What’s Been
Exercise Stressing Me
1. What’s been stressing you lately?
2. Keep it current. Draw on the last week or month.
3. Identify a situation that was particularly stressful for you..
4. In the worksheet below, describe the situation in basic terms.

Stress Finger Print
1. The Pattern
1. Reflect on your stressful situation. Let go of your analytical mind and let your intuition inform
you of your level of reactivity in each of the four categories below.
2. Ask yourself, on a scale of 0 – 100 what level of reactivity did I experience, when I became
stressed. Enter the number in the box.
SCALE 0 - 100
0= No Reaction to 100=Extreme Reaction
Mental (Thoughts, Judgments, Perceptions)
Thoughts that attack or defend, judge or condemn, or use

words like can’t, impossible, if only, hopeless, etc.
Emotional Reaction
Anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed, tense, angry, depressed, discouraged.

Physical Reaction
Rapid heart rate or breathing, sweating, muscle tension, headache, lower

back pain, upset stomach.
Attitude/Mood
0 to 100 [ Negative Mood, Pessimistic=100 ] ~ [ Positive Mood, Optimistic=0 ]

Stress Finger Print
2. The Signs
Check-off wherever you find yourself on this list.
Physical Emotional Cognitive
Racing heart Unhappy Attention deficit
Dry mouth Angry Memory lapses
Upset stomach Frustrated Incessant thought
Diarrhea Troubled sleep Pessismistic
Gas, belching Sleepless Disorganized
Rashes Depressed Blocked
Muscle tension Fatigued Fragmented
Headache Unmotivated Indecisive
Hyperventilation Nervous Worried
Frequent sighing Anxious Humorless
Sweating Hopeless
Appetite change Over-reactive
Frequent colds, flu
Fatigue
Identify those that tend to be more intense than others.
Identify those that you previously did not think of as “stress-related.”
Pick the one that you would like to change the most.

Stress Finger Print
2. The Signs
Check-off wherever you find yourself on this list.
Spiritual Relational Behaviors
Emptiness Isolation Smoking
Doubt Resentment Alcohol/drug use
Loss of meaning Attack/Defend Over-eating
Apathy Distrust Not eating
Unforgiving Intolerance Poor diet
Disconnection Fault-finder Skip exercise
Cynical Loneliness Little down time
Lack of peace No time for friends
Miss family events
Identify those that tend to be more intense than others.
Identify those that you previously did not think of as “stress-related.”
Pick the one that you would like to change the most.

Feel It to Heal It Tool
The Body
1. Close your eyes. Allow yourself feel your body.
2. Notice stress in an area that is particularly uncomfortable.
3. Feel the discomfort or tightness or tension there. Feel it without
imposing any judgment, letting go of the tendency to want to
change it. Simply feel it.
4. Now scan your body for tension or discomfort in another place.
Feel it. Again, don’t judge it or yourself. Don’t try to change it.
Simply feel it.
5. Scan for another area of discomfort. Keep scanning in this fashion
for a few moments more, until you have uncovered most of the
tension in your body..
6. Now see if you can feel your body as a whole. How does your
whole body feel?
7. Imagine for a moment that your body is neutral and that there is
an emotional body that can be felt through the physical body.
8. What is the predominant emotion that emerges? Feel it without
imposing any judgment, letting go of the tendency to want to
change it. Simply feel how it feels with curiosity.
9. Gradually, allow yourself to relax into the feeling. Let the
sensation come to the surface. Simply be with whatever you feel.
10. When you are ready, open your eyes. Look around the room and
take in the colors and shapes of what you see.
11. Be present in a fresh, alert way.
12. Embrace this moment as new and relax. Feel the alive-
ness that is inherent in simple awareness.

Stress Finger Print
3. The Body
Write down the areas of your body that felt stressed and
tense. Rate them according to level of discomfort, on a
scale of 1 – 5.
Score 1
Areas of Your Body
-5
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
What Is The Emotion You Felt Through Your Body?

What Am I Afraid Of? Tool
I’m representing a big corporation in a law

The situation:
suit and things are not going well.
What I am afraid of? The fear refuted
9 Losing the case. 9 I have not lost the

9 Looking like a case yet. There is
fool. a chance to win.
9 Losing my 9 I am not a fool.
reputation. 9 I am a respected
9 And then my litigator in this
clients. county. My
9 Being asked to clients value me.
leave the firm. 9 The firm won’t
9 I’ll end up pushing fire me.
a shopping cart 9 I’ve always made
down Main Street. money.
1. Bring to mind the stressful situation from: What Is 1. Do you know 100% for certain that ___ will happen?
Stressing Me on page 40. Briefly describe in the box Not 50%, but 100% certain. If yes: What are 3 things
marked “The Situation. that tend to happen when you believe that fear?
2. Ask yourself, in this situation: “What am I afraid of?” 2. If the answer is no, ask: Looking at this realistically,
Record your answer in the left column. what is a more likely to happen.
3. Then ask yourself, “If this fear were true, what am I 3. Go through the list of fears, repeating the above steps
afraid of?” Record it. for each of your fears.
4. “And if this fear were true, what am I afraid of?” 4. Next, read the What Am I Afraid Of column, as if
5. Record it. reading a story. “How does that feel?” Then read the
6. Repeat three more times or until you sense you have Fear Refuted column, again as if telling a story. How
reached the bottom of your anxiety about this situation. does this feels?
5. Which did you choose to believe when stressed? Who
would you be without the fears?

What Am I Afraid Of? Tool
THIS WEEK’S HOMEWORK: LISTEN TO TRACK 4 & 5
The situation:
What I am afraid of? The fear refuted
1. Bring to mind the stressful situation from: What Is 1. Do you know 100% for certain that ___ will happen?
Stressing Me on page 40. Briefly describe in the box Not 50%, but 100% certain. If yes: What are 3 things
marked “The Situation. that tend to happen when you believe that fear?
2. Ask yourself, in this situation: “What am I afraid of?” 2. If the answer is no, ask: Looking at this realistically,
Record your answer in the left column. what is a more likely to happen.
3. Then ask yourself, “If this fear were true, what am I 3. Go through the list of fears, repeating the above steps
afraid of?” Record it. for each of your fears.
4. “And if this fear were true, what am I afraid of?” 4. Next, read the What Am I Afraid Of column, as if
5. Record it. reading a story. “How does that feel?” Then read the
6. Repeat three more times or until you sense you have Fear Refuted column, again as if telling a story. How
reached the bottom of your anxiety about this does this feels?
situation. 5. Which did you choose to believe when stressed?
Who would you be without the fears?

I Could See Peace
Instead Of This Tool
The idea that I could see peace instead of this begins to describe the conditions that
prevail in the other way of seeing. Peace of mind is clearly an internal matter. It must
begin with your own thoughts, and then extend outward. It is from your peace of mind
that a peaceful perception of the world arises.
THREE LONG PRACTICE PERIODS: Three practice periods are required. One in the
morning and one in the evening are advised, with an additional one to be undertaken at
any time in between, when convenient. All applications should be done with your eyes
closed. The focus is your inner world.
Begin by taking 5 minutes to search your mind for fear thoughts, anxiety-provoking
situations, "offending"
ff d personalities
l or events, or anything
h else
l about
b which
h h you are
harboring negative, stressful or unloving thoughts. Note them all casually, repeating the
idea slowly -- I could see peace instead of this -- as you watch them arise in your mind.
Then let each one go, to be replaced by the next stressful thought.
If you begin to experience difficulty in thinking of specific subjects, continue to repeat

the idea to yourself in an unhurried manner, without applying it to anything in
particular.
ti l H However, b be sure th
thatt you are nott making
ki any specific
ifi exclusions.
l i
SHORTER APPLICATIONS AS NEEEDED: Shorter applications of the idea should also

be made throughout the day, whenever you feel your peace of mind is threatened in
any way. The purpose is to protect your peace of mind during the day from the
temptation to indulge these thoughts or perception and allowing them to escalate into
stress reaction. Intervene when these thoughts arise by saying to yourself:
I could see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it.
Repeat the idea until you feel some sense of relief.
If a fearful thought begins to make inroads on your peace of mind in the form of
depression, anxiety or worry, intervene by stating :
I can replace my feelings of depression, anxiety or worry [or my

thoughts about this situation, personality or event ]with peace.
From A Course In Miracles

I Am That Tool

The So Ham Mantra
• The mantra So Ham comes from Sanskrit (( )), meaning I
am that.
• Look over the list of qualities you experience when you are at
the top of your game
• Tell yourself: I created that experience. That is me. I am that.
• Repeat the So Ham mantra silently, 5 to 10 times, or until you
feel relaxed and mentally refreshed..
• Recite Sooooo on the in-breath. So mimics the sound of
the in-breath.
• Recite Hommmm ( the vowel sound as in “mom’) on the
out-breath. Ham mimics the sound of the out-breath.
• On the in-breath, be cognizant of the mantra’s meaning, which
is I am that. Allow yourself to feel it. Imagine the in-breath
moves through and dissolves any anxiety or doubt you might
feel
• Imagine the out-breath makes you increasingly more spacious.
• Pause a moment before the next inhalation and relax
completely into the spaciousness.
• Now bring this spacious, easy feeling to the work at hand.
Mantras have been shown to reduce stress, anxiety, depression and

negative thinking, raising confidence.1
1. Bormann, J. Journal of Advanced Nursing, March 2006; vol 53: pp 502-512.

Building A Practice
The First Quality
of Mystic Cool
Session
3
Mystic Cool
The First Quality
QUIETLY ENGAGED,
FULLY PRESENT

A Clearer, Perhaps
Even A Fiercer Life
“We can make our minds so

like still water that beings
gather around us that they may
see their own image and so
live for a moment with a
clearer, perhaps even a fiercer
life, because of our quiet.”
W.B. Yeats

Obstacles
• The first quality of Mystic

Cool is to be quietly engaged
and fully present.
• The primary obstacles are:
• Incessant Thinking
• Judging Mind

Incessant Thinking
“Can you read my
mind?” a young man
asked a sage.
“Yes,” the sage

replied. “But why
would I want to enter
that confusion.”
• We think incessantly:
y 50,000
,
thoughts a day.
• 95% of our thoughts are repetitive.
• Imagine a TV monitor on top of our
heads broadcasting our incessant
thinking.

Pointlessly
Exercise
Preoccupied
!!!@#$%^&*()_+ Got a meeting with George at 10 and the stuff at the
cleaners can’t forget that even though I don’t want to go to that party
why is she making me go I just want to come home and put my feet up I
need to prepare for George I don’t get his agenda and what about that tie
he wore last week is he color-blind oh got to call Linda about lunch she’ll
probably make me pay again she just sits there when the check comes
I hate that so what do I need to do to prepare for George I should
finish that report and the brown shoes with the black suit does he
even look in the mirror in the morning he needs to lose
weight oh no I didn’t bring my gym bag not again
oh there it is thank god I got to go today I’m putting on
weight it’s so hopeless weight off weight right back on NO
CARBS TODAY AND NO SUGAR EITHER I hate the
way I look nothing fits anymore I don’t like the gym I don’t
like the people there the place is stuffy and they still
haven’t fixed the matting in the locker room they’re so
cheap hey there’s Tina Hi Tina is she ignoring me what’s
that about is she mad or something oh no there’s Bill
can I get by him without having to talk to him I got to get
ready for George I really don’t get his agenda wonder what
he’s wearing today that boy’s got no taste I need coffee
OH GREAT it’s all gone what’s the matter with
people leaving the pot empty like that I hope my
computer doesn’t do that weird thing again I should call I.T.
but what for they never fix anything got to get ready for
George!!!@#$%^&*()_+

There is Tool
a Field
• Sit or lie comfortably. Close your eyes. All you are
asked to do is observe. Simply be with whatever your
mind generates. Notice what you are thinking, feeling,
and perceiving. Don’t become involved in the
thoughts, don’t judge them or try to change them.
Simply observe.
• If your mind gets lost in a proliferation of thought or
“Out makes judgments and evaluations, observe this.

Notice the thoughts that come and go, the residue of
beyond emotion they carry, and the pictures they paint. Stand
back from them and simply notice. At first, it may
ideas of seem there is nothing but chatter and chaos. Again, do

not judge or condemn what you hear. Accept it.
right and • The mind will present you with the impulse to do
something other than this meditation. Ignore this
wrong, impulse and bring your attention to your breathing.
• The body will also demand attention. Ignore this as
there is a well, returning attention to your breathing.
field. I'll • After a few moments of consciously observing, you

will begin to sense the aspect of mind that is actually
meet you observing. You will then begin to reach beyond the
chatter, simply by witnessing it.
there.” • Soon you realize there is a voice chattering away and
you are listening to it neutrally. The part of you that is
listening to the chattering voice is your own presence,
Rumi your own being.
• This is not a thought. It comes from beyond the
thinking mind. Relax into it. Feel it as you relax into it.
Allow it to expand with each breath. It is the gateway
to a quiet mind. It is the essence of who you are.

Jill Bolte Taylor
Stroke of Insight
http://tinyurl.com/mysticool-dr-taylor
Click link to access video.

The Judging Mind
“You’re never alone. Wherever
you are, whomever you’re with,
the voice in your head goes with
you, whispering, nagging,
enticing, judging, shaming, guilt
tripping, or even yelling at you.”
Byron Katie
Loving What Is

Clear Button Tool
On-The-Spot Stress Buster
• Imagine there is a button at the center of your palm that is a

biofeedback mechanism that, when pushed, sends a signal to
the primitive brain to stop negative, fearful , worried, or
pessimistic thinking.
• Press the button and as you do become aware of
your breath.
• Count to three, as follows, seeing each number
as a color.
1. Take a breath and count “1,” imagining it as red.
2. Take a second breath and count “2,” imagining it as blue.
3. Take a third breath and count “3,” imagining it as green.
• Now take a final breath and as you exhale, come into the
present moment, right here, right now, and relax, letting fear
go completely.
• Quietly re-engage with the situation and consciously choose
to be at peace, regardless of circumstances or outcome,
confident in the clarity your calm now affords you.

Inspire Yourself Tool
Regularly
Start each day in quiet.

• Close your eyes or take a downward gaze.
• Tilt your head toward your heart. Follow your breathing.
• Feel each breath softening your heart and opening it wider. After a
minute or two, open your eyes.
• Feel appreciation for the gift of another day of life.
• Set your intention to have great day, filled with achieving things,
• Commit to being at peace today. Imagine yourself able to sustain a
dynamically peaceful state of mind, extending a positive attitude,
regardless of what might be happening around you.
Take Spiritual Breaks

• Every 90 minutes take a break from work.
• Step outside or go to a window and see what Mother Earth is doing.
• Look at the sky, notice the quality of light that’s present, watch the
clouds pass, the wind blow, the rain fall, or whatever is happening.
• Allow your mind to grow quiet and connect with life for a moment.
Once a week, count your blessings.

• Once a week, at bedtime, recall three things that happened during the
previous week for which you are grateful.
• Then acknowledge three things in your life, generally, for which you feel
blessed.
Building A Practice
The Second Quality
off Mystic Cooll
Session
4
Mystic Cool
Th Second
The S d Quality
Q li
CALM AND CLEAR INSIDE

WHATEVER’SS OUTSIDE
WHATEVER

Obstacles
• The second quality of

M ti C
Mystic Cooll is
i tto b
be calm
l
and clear inside regardless
of what is happening
outside.
outside
• The obstacles are:
• Loss of Control
• Overwhelm

Loss of Control
What makes it stressful?

• Lack of clarity about what
we control and what we
don’t.
• The belief that what we do
control is of little
consequence.
q

The Control Exercise
Exercise
Getting Clear
1. Think of a stressful situation you recently experienced.
2. In a few words describe the situation in the box below.
3. Identify 5 key elements of the situation.
4. Rate on a scale from 0 to 5, how much control you had over each element listed:
0=no control and 5=complete control.
The Situation
Identify The Key Elements (i.e., people involved, time Rating

constraint,From
environment, circumstance.)
0 for No Control to 5 for Complete Control 0-5
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Who would I be?

You have absolute control
over one thing:
Æ Your Attitude
• The power of attitude reflects
your spiritual nature.
• It is the sole means by which you
control your destiny.
• Fail to control your attitude and
you can be sure you will control
little else.

Attitude and Telomeres
Shorter Telomeres Shorten Your Lifespan,
Accelerate Aging, Increase Risk of Cancer
Disintegrating
Telomeres
Disintegrating telomeres shortened by chronic stress,

create the conditions for cancer and premature aging
Healthy
Telomere
Chromosome
Healthy telomeres maintained by

a peaceful, positive attitude,
promote the conditions for health and longevity

“The last of the human freedoms is
to choose one's attitude in any
given set of circumstances, to
choose one's own way.”
“As the inner life of the prisoner tended to become more
intense, he also experienced the beauty of art and nature
as never before. Under the influence he sometimes even
forgot his own frightful circumstances. If someone had
seen our faces on the journey from Auschwitz to a
Bavarian camp as we beheld the mountains of Salzburg
with their summits glowing in the sunset, through the
little barred windows of the cattle car, he would never
have believed that those were the faces of men who had
given up all hope of life and liberty.”
Victor Frankl
Man’s Search For Meaning

In A Conflict
There’s Only Tool
Three Sane Choices
1. Decide to change the situation

2. Walk away from the situation.
3. Accept the situation completely.

To Know The Difference
Grant me the serenity

to accept the things I
cannot change; the
courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the
difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr

Overwhelmed
The pursuit of multiple
external goals without a clear
inner purpose is a
prescription for overwhelm.
Gerald Jampolsky, M.D.
External Goals: Survival

1. External goals are first about
survival, then about getting what we
want.
2. It is about acquiring things.
3. It involves many steps and answers
to many questions.
4. External goals change as
information and situations change.
5. It is almost entirely future-oriented.

Calm
When we make peace our
primary goal it becomes the
attitude that flows into
whatever we happen to be
doing.
Inner Purpose: Being At Peace

1. Inner purpose involves one step: the
step we are taking right now.
2. It asks one question: What do we want
to experience? Peace or fear, stress or
calm?
3. It is focused on one time: the only time
there is; which is this moment now.
Overcoming Multi-Tasking
If you find yourself entangled in multitasking, do the following:
1. Stop everything you’re doing.
2. Take two deep breaths and then follow your breath in a slow easy rhythm.
3. Feel your brain relax. Quiet the mind and be present, here and now.
4. Now write down the several things you’re trying to do all at once.
5. Focus on one task, starting out slow-and-easy, with the aim of doing it well.

Embodying Your
1.
Exercise Inner Purpose
List two (2) externals goals you want to achieve.
2. Identify a fear or anxiety you feel regarding this goal, if any.
3. What is the ONE logical next step you can take to move this goal forward.
4. Close your eyes and see yourself taking this next step with peace as your inner purpose.
External Goal #1.
The fear or anxiety about goal #1:
The logical next step to take in moving goal #1 forward (just one):
External Goal #2.
The fear or anxiety about goal #2:
The logical next step to take in moving goal #2 forward (just one):

PreAttitude Tool

• Pick a specific place or time when you felt happy and peaceful.
• Make it real; vivid. Remain in this peaceful state for a short period,
until the feeling of it is clear and strong.
• Now bring to mind the person(s) or situation(s) you perceive as
difficult or stressful and imagine you are in that situation right now.
Make the , peaceful feeling you have been visualizing into this
situation.
• See yourself at peace, confident, optimistic, and energetic in this
situation. Imagine that you do not give away your sense of personal
power.
• Imagine that you are open-minded, not so focused on the outcome
that it pulls you away from the peace you feel.
• Imagine that you feel increasingly larger than the situation simply
because you are no longer afraid of it.
• If other people are involved, imagine you are able to communicate
what you want to say and able to listen carefully to what they have to
say, with no antagonism toward them.
• Imagine that your sense of calm and clarity remains firm, regardless of
what anyone does or does not do.
• At the end of the encounter, see yourself at peace, still
feeling confident and energetic, whichever way things go.

Building A Practice
The Third Quality
of Mystic Cool
Session
5
Mystic Cool
The Third Quality
A SENSE OF
CONNECTION

“We are neurally
constructed to feel
connected to each
other.”
Daniel Siegel, M.D.
• In life, interpersonal connection is

the #1 determinant of how long
we live.
• In business, interpersonal strength
is the chief factor for creating
profitability and sustainability.

The Power Of
Connection
The Roseto Effect
The first study to reveal the biological primacy of interpersonal connection was the
Roseto Study. It has come to be called the Roseto Effect.
Back in the early 1960;s, medical researchers were drawn to Roseto, Pennsylvania by a
bewildering statistic that defied medical logic. Rosetans were nearly immune to the
primary stress-related disease that is the number one cause of death in America – heart
disease. Over a seven year period, no Roseto men under 47 had died of a heart attack
and the community had half the national death rate.
This made no sense, given that most of the men smoked, drank heavily, eat a high fat
diet, were poor and did back breaking work in the rock quarry. The researchers could
find not biological, genetic or environment reason for their happy prognosis. Then
researchers stumbled across social factors that illuminated something about the
character of the people. First, they discovered that there was zero crime rate in Roseto
and no one on public welfare.
The researchers also found that the people were unusually vivacious. “These people,”
the report stated, are “happy, boisterous and unpretentious. They are simple, warm
and very hospitable.” Most striking to the researchers was the genuinely positive
regard they held for one another: “
When the researchers took a closer look, they found that Rosetans took pride in taking
care of their families. Nearly all the homes contained three generations and elders
were held in high regard. Mealtimes were much more than a matter of eating. It was
a time for the family to gather and to strengthen inter-generational ties. Community
events were also common in Roseto. In warm weather, villagers took evening strolls
and dropped in to visit one another.
Eventually, the children of Roseto grew up. They went off to college or moved away
to the big city for better jobs. Gradually, the community lost its cohesion. In 1971, the
village recorded its first death from coronary disease of a person under the age of 45.
The traditional communal experience that enabled people to live longer, healthier
lives had eroded. Biologically, we are wired to connect and when the sense of
connection is broken we fail to thrive. One of the young people who left the village
for the big city stated, “I'm sorry we moved; everything is modern here and we have
everything we need, except people.

The Boy Who
Couldn’t Grow
Robert Sapolsky of Stanford, one of the foremost stress researchers in
the world, relates a story about a boy who was severely abused,
emotionally and physically. After he became a ward of the court it
was discovered that he had zero growth hormone in his bloodstream.
Chronic stress had completely shut down his growth system,
threatening his life.
He was hospitalized, and over the next two months he developed a

close relationship with the nurse at the hospital—undoubtedly the
first normal relationship he had ever had. To everyone’s amazement,
his growth hormone levels zoomed back to normal.
When his friend, the nurse, went on vacation the boy’s levels
dropped back to zero, rising once more immediately after her return.“
“Think about it,” Sapolsky commented.

“The rate at which this child was
depositing calcium in his bones could
be explained entirely by how safe and
loved he was feeling in the world.“

Obstacles
• The third quality of Mystic

Cool is connection.
• The primary obstacles are:
• A conditional
acceptance
• An unwillingness to
forgive

Mirror Neurons
and the Attitudes That
Create Interpersonal
Resonance
Carl R. Rogers
father of Humanistic
1. Genuineness
Psychology
The first attitude is genuineness or realness. The more a person is

himself or herself in the relationship, putting up no professional
front or personal facade, the greater is the resonance and the
more likelihood that the relationship will change and grow in a
constructive manner.
2. Unconditional Positive Regard

The second attitude of importance in creating a climate for
connection is acceptance. It is what Rogers called
“unconditional positive regard.” We value the other in a total
rather than a conditional way. We are willing for the other
person to be whatever immediate feeling they are experiencing,
be it confusion, resentment, fear, anger, courage, love, or pride.
3. Empathic Understanding
The third attitude is empathic understanding. Being empathic is
to perceive the point of view of another with accuracy, along
with its emotional components and meanings. It is to enter
another’s private world so completely that we lose all desire to
judge it.
“This kind of sensitive, active listening is exceedingly rare in our

lives,” Carl Rogers stated. “We think we listen, but very rarely do we
listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very
special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know.”

Relationships and Telomeres
Shorter Telomeres Shorten Your Lifespan,
Accelerate Aging, Increase Risk of Cancer
Healthy
Telomere
Chromosome
Supportive Relationships > Longer Telomeres > Longer Life
Disintegrating
Telomeres
Chronic Stress > Shorter Telomeres > Shorter Life
Love stimulating the enzyme Telomerase

to Lengthen Shortened Telomeres
Resonance Tool
Listening: Drop your point of view for the

moment and really listen to the other. Be empathic,
willing to perceive their point of view with accuracy,
along with its emotional components and meanings.
Enter the other’s private world so completely that you
lose all desire to judge it. Do not interrupt, give
advice, help them find the word the they are looking
for, or finish their sentences. Simply listen.
Mirroring: Track the emotional flow, body

language, tone of voice, and even the intentions of
the person you are with. Pretend to be in the
person’s mental shoes. Science says that with mirror
neurons we practically are in another person’s mind.
Experiment with it. Sense how your brain is
mirroring the brain of the person you are with.
Observing: See the encounter from a bird’s

eye view of the two of you. What is happening? Is
there a feeling of resonance or tentativeness or
dissonance? What is your body language
communicating? Do you seem to be interested in
what the other is saying? What could you change to
make the interaction more powerful?

Unwillingness to Forgive
An unforgiving stance is a form of

post-traumatic stress.
It relives a past event over and over,

recycling its pain until it encloses us.
It is like taking poison and expecting

someone else to die.
In the end, the price we imprison our

peace of mind.

Un-Forgiveness
Think of a time in your life when you felt
Exercise
wronged, mistreated, or betrayed and you
were unable to forgive the other person(s).
Describe the “unforgivable” situation:
List 4 reasons why you don’t forgive:
1.
2.
3.
4.

Release Tool
1. Bring to mind someone who is difficult for you to forgive:

a person you do not like, one who irritates you, or causes
you to experience regret; someone you blame, or try to
overlook, or actively despise.
2. Try to perceive light somewhere in this person; a small
glimmer which you had not noticed.
3. Look until you see some little spark of brightness shining
through the painful picture that you hold.
4. Then let this light extend until it covers this person and
makes the painful picture brighter and kinder.
5. Silently repeat to yourself the following words:
• I forgive you
• I release you to your highest good
• I free myself from this grievance and all the pain
that has come from it
• I release the present from the past and free my
future.

Releasing Me Tool
1. Bring to mind a mistake you made or injury you caused

another that has been difficult for you to forgive: something
that makes you dislike, judge or condemn yourself, or
causes you to experience regret; blame, or try to overlook,
or actively despise.
2. Try to perceive light somewhere in yourself; a small glimmer
which you have not noticed.
3. Look until you see some little spark of brightness shining
through the painful picture that you hold of yourself.
4. Then let this light extend until it covers you and makes the
painful picture brighter and kinder.
5. Silently repeat to yourself the following words:
• I forgive myself
• I release myself to my highest good
• I free myself from this grievance and all the pain that
has come from it
• I release the present from the past and free my future.

Forgiveness Is How
the World Changes
When I was 12 years old I fell in love and all I wanted was to kiss her on the mouth.
One day I did and it was sweeter than I imagined. That kiss that day made me excel at
baseball, but going home at dusk was a short-lived glory for I knew when I got home I
would have to pass my stepfather, who would be drinking.
“Where you been?” he growled as I came in. “Playing baseball,” I answered,

concealing how he frightened me. As I turned his shadow fell on me, followed by a
blow that jarred my soul from my body. Then he dragged me to the door and threw me
out. I found a hiding place and cried until I was empty, believing nothing mattered. Not
the kiss, not baseball, not feeling grand. I swore someday I’d kill him.
He was a Scottish immigrant, charming on the outside but frightened underneath,

working every waking hour. Soon he had it all: a business, a house, a Cadillac, and
waiters who knew his name. But the castle of his life was built on sand and one day it
all came down. The bank locked up his business, foreclosed on the house, and
repossessed the Cadillac. I was eighteen by then, old enough to walk away, and I did, as
far from him as I could get. And I vowed my children will not suffer as I did. But as
good a father as I became, part of me was wounded in my hatred for this man, and at
times my children had to withdraw from the darkness hate made of me.
One day my wife said, I called and spoke to him. He's living just across the river. He
has no one and nothing to his name. It's time to heal. When I refused she said, If not for
you, then for our children. He wasn't well. A.A. had set him on his feet but his body
was shot from years of booze and cigarettes. On Sundays I would visit him. He would
ask about my life, my kids, my dreams, and I could feel him take me in and sensed the
happiness it gave him. As time went by I realized that there was love in him for me and
returning home I would wonder, how did this happen that my heart is peaceful and at
one with his?
One day he collapsed at work. The ICU cheated death for three days, but it was hard.
When he grew frightened he would say I made a mess of everything, I hurt everyone I
loved. I stayed beside his bed, stroked his hair, and helped him be at peace, and in the
silence as he died I could see the essence of his being softly shining through, blessing
me. After that, I loved better, especially my children. I judged less and forgave more.
Now, years later, my greatest joy is beholding the loving way my children care for their
children, and I think: this is how the world changes.

Before Arguing Tool
Ask Yourself
Do I prefer that
I be right or
happy?

Three Simple Tool
Ways of Being
That Grow A Relationship
1. Listen better,
2. judge less, and
3. forgive more.

Building A Practice
The Fourth Quality
of Mystic Cool
Session
6
Mystic Cool
The Fourth Quality
RELATES TO THE WHOLE

NOT THE FRAGMENTS

The Potato Story
Carl R. Rogers, Ph.D.
I remember that in my boyhood the potato

bin in which we stored our winter supply
of potatoes was in the basement, several
feet below a small basement window. The
conditions were unfavorable, but the
potatoes would begin to sprout—pale white
sprouts, so unlike the healthy green shoots
they sent up when planted in the soil in the
spring. But these sad, spindly sprouts
would grow two or three feet in length as
they reached toward the distant light of the window. They were, in
their bizarre, futile growth, a sort of desperate expression of the
directional tendency . . . They would never become a plant, never
mature, never fulfill their real potentiality. But under the most adverse
circumstances they were striving to become. Life would not give up,
even if it could not flourish.
In dealing with clients whose lives have been terribly warped, in
working with men and women on the back wards of state hospitals, I
often think of those potato sprouts. So unfavorable have been the
conditions in which these people have developed that their lives
often seem abnormal, twisted, scarcely human. Yet the directional
tendency in them is to be trusted. The clue to understanding their
behavior is that they are striving, in the only way available to them,
to move toward growth, toward becoming. To us the results may
seem bizarre and futile, but they are life’s desperate attempt to
become itself.
“What I am is good enough

if I would only be it openly.”

Obstacles
• The fourth quality of Mystic

Cool is relating to the whole
and not the fragments.
• The obstacles are:
• Fault-finding with
ourselves and others
• Undervaluing our
strengths

Undervaluing
Our Strengths
“Most Americans do
not know what their
strengths are. When
you ask them, they look
at you with a blank
stare.”
Peter Drucker
When the Gallup organization asked

American workers to identify their
strengths, one-third could not name
any, or they listed those that were not
relevant to their careers.

The Finding
“The most effective people

are those who understand
their strengths. The data
show that these people are
best able to develop
strategies to meet and
exceed the demands of their
daily lives, careers, and
families.”
The Gallup Study

on 200,000 workers

Discrediting
Exercise Our
Strengths
The 4 D’s Of False Humility

When complimented or given credit, we:
• Deflect it: Giving credit to someone else.

Joe deserves all the credit.
• Deny it: Denying our part was of much
valuable: It had little to do with it.
• Dismiss it: Changing the subject. Well,
how about that football game yesterday.
• Discount it: Undervaluing what we

accomplished. It’s no big deal.

My Strengths
Exercise As I See Them
List the strengths you feel you possessed,
whether or not you currently use them.

Strengths I Want
Exercise To Use & Grow
Pick three strengths from page 98 (“My Strengths As I See Them”) that
you want to develop even further, starting right away.
Qualities Talents or One Thing

√ # Aptitudes I Want To
Strengthen
I Can Do Right Away To
Develop It
1
2
3
Strength Tool
Finding
1. Choose one of the three strengths on the list of

strengths you want to develop (from previous page).
2. Starting tomorrow, commit the morning to
strengthening it even more by:
• Becoming familiar with the various ways you
can use it, and
• Acknowledging its value.
3. In the afternoon, commit to seeing one strength in
another person and acknowledging it, at first quietly
to yourself, and then openly to the other person if
appropriate. If jealously arises, let it go by wishing
them the same success you desire.
4. Over the next week, identify at least one person
who is attuned to your strengths and ask him or her
to give you feedback on the strengths this person
sees in you. Note: You’re encouraged to conduct
this exercise with several people. The reward for
doing so is enormous.

My Strengths
Exercise That Others See
1. First, print this page from your workbook for each session you conduct.
2. Ask at least two people to do this exercise with you. The people you choose to be your strength-finders
are to refrain from making conditional or sarcastic remarks, such as: Well, even though you can be a real
jerk, sometimes you.... They are to make only unconditionally positive statements about the strengths
they see in you. It’s natural for both of you to feel awkward and uncomfortable, at least initially.
Acknowledge the discomfort, but don’t let it stop you.
3. Conduct the exercise in person, not by phone. Sit across from one another, face to face. The strength
finder should take a moment to quietly go inside and find what they see as your strengths.
4. The strength-finder is to give short answers that are to the point. You are to listen without speaking and
then write below the stated strength verbatim, exactly as it was stated.
Name of Strength Finder #1: Name of Strength Finder #2:

Tool
The Flow At The Top Of Your Game

• Retrieve the list you made on page 32 of your internal experience when you are at
the top of your game. Take a few moments and read each quality one at a time,
invoking the feeling of each one until the feeling of it is strong
• Now bring to mind an endeavor or project at which you want to excel. Sense how it
stretches and challenges your abilities. Allow yourself to feel that energy for a
moment. It’s part tension, part excitement, part fear of failing. Open to these
feelings, without getting caught in them. Let the feeling flow over you like a wave.
Tell yourself that anything that stretches and challenges your ability is a good thing.
• Evoke the experience of you at the top of your game. See yourself bringing the
feeling of each quality to this project or endeavor. Experience each quality fully: the
calm, the way the dots connect themselves, the joy as things take shape, the way
time stands still; your ability to focus; to stay present; to be alive in your work.
Make this experience vivid.
• Acknowledge to yourself that you made this happen before and you can make it
happen again. Have faith in your capacity to attain and sustain this powerful state of
mind. Imagine that your state of mind is an arrow headed straight for the bull’s eye.
• Imagine that your state of mind is lighting up networks in your brain that generate
intellectual and creative intelligence.
• Imagine other networks are lighting you up with insight, intuition and emotional
resilience.
• As you begin to work on your project, you are at the top of your game, able to let
go of the outcome and trust the creative process that is about to unfold.
• You step up to the project with fearless self-confidence, remembering that success is
inner peace and succeeding is letting go of fear.

The Way To Freedom
• Bring to mind a difficulty; something causing distress in your life. It might be a habit
you have struggled to break. Perhaps it’s a pattern of emotional reactivity you’ve
been unable to change. It might be an issue that has constrained your life, such as
debts or time constraints or having too much to do.
• Now picture a wall and let the wall represent the problem. On the wall, imagine
you paint a door and hang a sign above the door that says: The Way to Freedom.
Now imagine you push against the door and it opens. As the door opens, a burst of
light comes streaming through.
• See yourself walking through the door to the other side of the wall. Imagine you
softly shut the door behind you, understanding that the door is not locked.
• As your eyes adjust to the light, you see that you’re standing at the edge of a
beautiful garden and in this garden your problem no longer exists. In fact, all your
troubles are gone. In this place, you have no worries. There is no stress, no fear, no
grief and no struggles. To the contrary, you feel free. Everything here enlightens
you with peace and joy.
• As you settle into this experience, you notice that you feel very much at home in
this place. It feels amusingly familiar and suddenly you are aware that this garden is
inside of you. It’s a place at the very core of you that you can enter at any time,
simply by passing through that doorway.
• You sense that now it’s time to return to your life on the other side of the wall. And
you feel no conflict with returning. You’re at peace. As you return, you bring with
you the freshness of this new found freedom from this old problem. Because of this,
solutions that were previously unavailable to you will now occur.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
It’s Not About Being Perfect
Finish each day and be done

with it. You have done what
you could. Some blunders
and absurdities no doubt
crept in; forget them as soon
as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely,
with too high a spirit to be
encumbered with your old
nonsense.
This day is all that is good
and fair. It is too dear, with
its hopes and invitations, to
waste a moment on
yesterdays.

My Stress Scores
Never, Never Give Up
1. Take the Perceived Stress Test at:
Go to Page 2
http://donjosephgoewey.com/perceived-stress-test
The results are completely anonymous.
2. Enter your score in the box below and date it.
“No matter what is

My Stress Score
Compare Your Score
to the Norms
going on, never give up.

at the beginning Category Mean Score
of the course Gender
Male 12.1
Date: Work for peace, in your Female
Age
13.7
heart and in the world.

My Stress Score
18-29 14.2
30-44 13.0
at the end of the 45-54 12.6
course And I say again, never 55-64
65 & older
11.9
12.0
Date:
give up.” Race
White 12.8
Hispanic 14.0
The DalaiBlack
Lama 14.7
The range is zero (no stress) to Other Minority 14.1
40 (extreme stress)

It’s in the Small Stuff
Periodically challenge yourself in one of these 21 tasks:
1. Choose the longest line at a store and stand in it, using your mind
creatively to take advantage of the wait or to choose peace.
2. Look out the window for thirty seconds and let your mind go. Watch
the wind blow or the sun shine or the rain fall.
3. Do one special thing for yourself today.
4. Drive home in the slow lane.
5. Smile more today.
6. Listen to calming music instead of the news on the drive home.
7. Practice listening without interrupting.
8. Buy a small gift for a friend or family member.
9. Call a good friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
10. Look for the best in someone you know.
11. Devote today to seeing your strengths and positive qualities.
12. Practice forgiving trivial errors.
13. Use a measuring stick other than business to measure your
accomplishments, such as your talents, creative abilities, human
qualities, or close relationships.
14. Quietly do good deeds and acts of kindness.
15. Practice receiving compliments graciously.
16. Accept that life is unfinished business.
17. Take five minutes today to recall times when you were happy.
18. Commit to stop judging yourself for your lack of perfection.
19. Consider the notion that perfection is in the imperfections.
20. When you feel conflict today, tell yourself, “I am not going to let this
person or situation control how I feel.”
21. Today, feel more and think less. Become skillful at knowing how
you feel by making I feel . . . statements.

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Six Weeks To

Rewire Your Brain

Compare Your Score

course 55-64 11.9

The range is zero (no stress) to Other Minority 14.1

2 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

4 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

5 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

Wesley E. Sime, PhD./MPH./PhD

6 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

Neff, L.A. & Karney, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

7 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

If our parents were less tired and stressed, said

I know when my mom has a bad day because

Jeanna Bryner, “Kids to Parents: Leave the Stress at

8 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

80% of serious illness is preceded by

9 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

Memory and Learning

10 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

Nearly eight in ten Americans

11 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

Can this team reach and

14 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

The primitive brain cannot

It sets off a stress reaction when

15 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

16 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

17 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

And There’s You

18 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

19 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

20 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

21 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

CALM AND CLEAR INSIDE

22 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

9 Emotional regulation attains optimal balance. You’re stimulated by a

9 Fear extinguished: quieting fight/flight/freeze reactions. No fear, no stress.

9 Response flexibility lights up, which is the opposite of a kneejerk reaction.

9 Attuned communication is achieved, enabling interpersonal resonance.

9 Intuition is generated through information from the neural networks surrounding

9 Morality is activated, generating the ethics to transcend a limited self-interest and

Mayo Foundation for

23 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

A CHANGE OF ATTITUDE THAT

CHANGES OUR EXPERIENCE

CHANGES OUR BRAIN

24 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

Left PFC The Change Right PFC

CITATION: Alterations in Brain and Immune Function Produced by Mindfulness

25 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

Success is inner peace;

26 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

The difference between what

27 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

2. Understand neurological power.

3. Master a set of internal tools.

4. Master a set of interpersonal tools.

5. Commit to a consistent practice.

Check the learning objectives that you

28 Copyright © 2010 Don Joseph Goewey

THIS WEEK’S HOMEWORK

Practice One Thousand Times:

2. Tell yourself: These thoughts and feelings are in me, not in