FEAR OF FLYING

The MD calls me and says "We have to file these papers in the Supreme Court
immediately. Go to Delhi by today's flight itself and discuss the case with our
lawyers". I think "Oh s---. Delhi? That's two and a quarter hour's flight from Goa.
What if something goes wrong during a flight that long? What if the engines fail?
…" I usually fly between Mumbai and Goa which is a 50-55 minute flight. Soon
after we lift off, the stewardesses demonstrate their safety routine and then bring
out the food trays and we will be busy with the food. Anything to divert my
attention from my fear of flying. By the time they collect the trays another
stewardess will be announcing the approach of the Mumbai airport. There is no
time to be afraid on this flight.

I kiss my kid and say goodbye to my wife and rush to the airport There are some
boisterous young vacationers on my flight, who are returning to Mumbai.
Laughing, jumping about in their seats and doing nothing to calm my nerves. Don't
they know the dangers of flying? The stewardesses do their safety instruction
routine. "…in the event the plan makes an emergency landing in the sea (IN THE
SEA???!!??)… use your seat cushion for floatation…". "Arrey, shubh shubh bolo
yaar, we are not even off the ground, and you are talking about crashing??? I
console myself thinking I am a good swimmer and if it crashes into the sea, at least
I can swim. But what if it slams into the ground????

The plane taxis to the top of the runway and waits for the signal from the tower.
This is the most terrifying period during flying. The point from where the plane
starts with a rush, to the heady lightness you feel just when the wheels leave the
ground. When the pilot applies the thrust, there is no going back or stopping. He
HAS to take off. What if the `spin driers' under the wings fail just then??? They'll
be scraping you off the runway later ! I am forcing myself not to think about how
the wings are attached to the fuselage. Will they rip off during flight ? Oh God,
no….

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The pilot gets clearance and applies the thrust. The plane surges forward for a few
feet and then the engine fizzles out with an alarming whine. The pilot tries again
and the same thing happens. Something's wrong! The pilot turns around and taxies
back to the terminal. The whine continues. The whine coming from the engine
reminds me of a joke. (What's the difference between airplanes and women? --
"Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong!") But I am not laughing.
I am a nervous wreck. The other passengers seem to be oblivious to the sound.
They are happily talking among themselves. The pilot announces that there is some
paperwork to be done which they forgot (sorry) and are going back. I think during
their training, three things are drilled into the flight crew. Lie, lie and lie. `Never
tell the passengers what is really happening. Put a stupid smile on your face, even
if you are scared, control the tremor in your voice and lie thru your teeth.'

The pilot says we'll be out of here in 10-15 minutes, but he keeps repeating that
every 15 minutes for the next hour. There are engineers coming and going from the
pilot's cabin. After an hour, he taxies back to the runway and waits clearance from
the ATC. The plane starts with a rush and with an effort I stop myself from
screaming. The plane takes off uneventfully but the seat belt sign is on for a long
time. Eventually the stewardesses come and serve food. "Excuse me sir, Veg or
Non-veg?". There is a lot of difference between the present day stewardesses of the
private airlines and those of the Indian Airlines of say some 15 years ago. Most of
the IA `sky girls' of yore, wore an `I-am-doing-you-a-favour-attitude' which set
your teeth on edge. A pampered lot, who in many cases drew more salary than
many of the travelers who they were waiting upon. They knew it and could not
hide their disdain for those `low-lifes' who were ordering them around like
waitresses. The chirpy, present day sky girls are like a breath of fresh air (in a
cramped pressurized cabin).

During the flight, the seat belts signs come on and the pilot announces turbulence
ahead. I lose my appetite and grip the hand rests tightly. The turbulence is heavy.
The plane starts to buck and pitch. At one point, it suddenly drops a few metres.
My heart is in my mouth. I gulp it down with an effort. I am glad I went to the

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"Gents" room in the airport lounge just before takeoff. At last the air clears and we
are cruising smoothly. The passenger sitting next to me asks me "Hum udd rahe
hain, yaa khade hain? " (because, from such a height, it seems as though the plane
is stationary). "KKKKYYAAA? " I ask him a little too loudly. "Aise baate mat
karo, bhai saab, Hum khade hO gaye thO neeche gir jaayenge". Must be his first
air travel. "Plane may video nahin hai kya?". "Video, sirf bus me dikhaya jata hai".
I am thankful to him. At least, he is diverting my attention from the impending
disaster at hand with his stupid questions.

The plane approaches Delhi, circles the airport and lands not very smoothly
though. But I don't mind. Terra Firma at last. I take a cab. The driver drives at
break neck speed on the Delhi roads, weaving thru traffic, braking at the last
minute, stopping cms from vehicles ahead at traffic lights. I don't care. What worse
can happen after what I have endured? At the most his car will be dented, nothing
can happen to me.

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