KARDINIA INTERNATIONAL COLLEGE PRESENTS

Written by Isaac Haigh

With contributions by the cast and creative team.
2018

ADAPTED FROM THE BBC TV SERIES ‘SHERLOCK’

BASED ON THE WORKS OF SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
 PAGE 1

SHERLOCK HOLMES Isaac Haigh

DR. JOHN WATSON Ari Melican
JIM MORIARTY Aidan O Cleirigh
D.I. GREG LESTRADE Zane Garbellini
MYCROFT HOLMES Conor Whitty
MOLLY HOOPER Katie Hopkin

MRS HUDSON Stephanie Popovski

HENCHMAN 1 Harry Roberts
HENCHMAN 2 Noah Sleiman
KITTY RILEY Tilly Heinrich
THERAPIST Grace O’Brien
JUDGE Andjela Matijas
 PAGE 2

ACT 1
As the overture begins and the stage curtain opens, we see a dimly lit, foggy performance
space. The music crescendo as two figures emerge from the fog - SHERLOCK HOLMES
AND JOHN WATSON. A few seconds after we see them, dozens of reporters swarm onto
the stage, breaking into a musical number:

SONG: SHERLOCKED

1
Therapist’s Office – Interior.
A moustached ex-army Doctor sits in a reclining chair, opposite his THERAPIST. He is
JOHN WATSON. We hear the soft sound of rain from outside.
THERAPIST: Why today John?
JOHN: I don’t know.
THERAPIST: Eighteen months since our last appointment. Have you settled back into
civilian life? You’ve been writing your blog, I trust?
JOHN: I’m not here to talk to you about Afghanistan. We’ve done that. That’s…
finished.
THERAPIST: Then… what?
JOHN: Do you read the papers?
THERAPIST: Sometimes.
JOHN: Then you know why I’m here.
THERAPIST: What happened, John?
JOHN: [He stands, facing the audience] I can’t. I… can’t say it.
THERAPIST: I know how you must be –
JOHN: - no, you don’t know… what it’s like.
THERAPIST: I’m your therapist, John. I know… what’s best for you. [A long beat] You
need to get it out, John. You have to.
JOHN: I haven’t even given him a proper goodbye yet.
THERAPIST: You need to talk about it, John. It’ll help. Trust me.

SONG: I LOOK BACK

 PAGE 3

2
London Streets - Exterior.
JOHN stays in his standing position. Several Londoners swarm the stage once again,
removing the set pieces from the Therapist’s office. One hands John a walking stick and a
coffee, and rips off his moustache. We jump back several months in time. Enter Detective
Inspector GREG LESTRADE from stage right, also holding a coffee.
LESTRADE: Watto! Bloody Watto Mate! John Watson!
[John gives him a vacant stare]
LESTRADE: Greg! Greg Lestrade…. we went to School together.
JOHN: [It takes him a while] Yes, sorry, yes, of course! Greg. Hello.
[John puts his hand out, Greg goes straight in for the hug]
JOHN: Haha, sorry – it’s just… you sound distinctly Australian than I remember…
have you been living abroad?
LESTRADE: Nah mate – I just couldn’t do a British accent. [John is mildly confused] I
hear you’ve been overseas though, getting shot at or something? What’s the
go there…?
JOHN: I got shot. [A beat as he looks down at his leg] Afghanistan.
LESTRADE: Crikey… I’m sorry, mate. Did you wanna… [He gestures to the bench]
JOHN: Yeah – thanks. [They walk over and sit] So what are you up to these days?
LESTRADE: I’m a copper actually – well, Scotland Yard. Detective Inspector. And
amateur dance instructor.
JOHN: Wow!
LESTRADE: Oh it’s nothing really… just a bit of Zumba in my spare time. Anyway…
what’s been goin’ on with you, mate? You wanted to be a doctor, yeah? Did
that…?
JOHN: Yeah, I’m … a doctor now.
LESTRADE: Ah, bloody ripper mate! [He pats John very hard on the shoulder] So are you
just staying in town 'til you get yourself sorted, or…?
JOHN: Oh no - no, there’s no way I could afford London on an Army pension…
LESTRADE: Right, and why don’t you get a share-house or something?
JOHN: Come on – who'd want me for a flatmate?
[Lestrade laughs]
JOHN: What?
LESTRADE: Nothing, it’s just… well, you're the second person to say that to me today.
JOHN: Who was the first?
 PAGE 4

[Lestrade pauses for a second, then stands up]

LESTRADE: What are you doing right now?
JOHN: What? Nothing –
LESTRADE: Come on.
JOHN: What?
LESTRADE: Get up, come on.
JOHN: Where are we going?
LESTRADE: You’ll see.
JOHN: [He struggles to get up] Ahh…
LESTRADE: You okay?
JOHN: Just my leg.
LESTRADE: Bad, is it? [They walk]
JOHN: My therapist thinks it’s psychosomatic.
LESTRADE: Righto… what do you think?
JOHN: I think I got shot. Where are you taking me?
LESTRADE: Just, come on!

3
St Barts Laboratory / Morgue – Interior.
SHERLOCK HOLMES stands centre-stage, whipping a corpse under a sheet, in time to the
scene transition music. Enter MOLLY HOOPER, resident Scientist. Sherlock stops whipping
as the music draws to a conclusion.
MOLLY: Hi Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: [Uninterested] Hmm? Oh… hello... Molly.
MOLLY: Had a bad day, then? Haha.
SHERLOCK: No, I need to know what bruises form in the next twenty minutes. A man’s
alibi depends on it.
MOLLY: Oh. Umm… how fresh?
SHERLOCK: Just in. Male, 67. Died of natural causes.
[He lifts the sheet. Molly lets out a whimper and jumps, obviously uncomfortable.]
SHERLOCK: What?
MOLLY: Oh dear god - that’s – that’s… Norman. From downstairs. He used to work
here. He was… nice.
 PAGE 5

SHERLOCK: Oh… um, very well. On an equally as distressing note – there’s no sign of
any change in these bacteria samples from last week’s delivery. A whole
week I’ve been watching them… you’d have think something would’ve
happened by now.
MOLLY: Ah well, patience is key. As my grandma always used to say, “Slow and
steady wins the race!” [A beat] She died in a house-fire when I was twelve.
SHERLOCK: Oh.
MOLLY: Sorry.
SHERLOCK: Also – you haven’t seen that petri dish, have you? I spent the best part of this
morning looking for it. I could have sworn I -
MOLLY: - you moved it to the quarantine tray upstairs.
SHERLOCK: Upstairs. Of course. Molly, I could kiss you.
[Molly leans in eagerly for the kiss, Sherlock completely ignoring her.]
SHERLOCK: But I won’t. Ever. [A beat] I’ll be back in a second – just going to get that
sample.
MOLLY: [Awkward] Okay. Sure.
[Sherlock exits.]
MOLLY: [Swooning] Ahhh, he’s so dreamy.
[Sherlock momentarily re-enters.]
SHERLOCK: What was that?
MOLLY: Uhhh, nothing. I didn’t say – uh…
SHERLOCK: Very well.
[Sherlock exits a second time. As Molly turns around to face the audience, the lights
dim and a spotlight comes up onto Molly.]

SONG: TAKE ME HOME

SHERLOCK: Molly, how’s that coffee coming along?

MOLLY: Right – sorry, I’ll just…
[Molly awkwardly makes her way to the door. She reaches for the handle, but the
door bursts open before she gets her chance. It smacks her on the head, and she
doubles over, holding her nose. Enter Lestrade and John, oblivious.]
LESTRADE: Yeah, [insert overly stereotypical Australian saying].
JOHN: That’s rough, man.
LESTRADE: Yeah. Ahem. Hello again, Sherlock.
 PAGE 6

SHERLOCK: Lestrade, to what do I owe the ple– Molly? What on earth are you doing? Get
up! That coffee’s not going to make itself.
MOLLY: [Still doubled over in pain and holding her nose] Okay, yep. [She mutters
obscenities under her breath]
LESTRADE: Sherlock, this is John Watson: an old colleague from Barts Hospital.
JOHN: Hello. I’m sorry – is that a…
SHERLOCK: Watson… any relation to Emma Watson? I’m a big fan.
JOHN: No.
SHERLOCK: Shame. So… Afghanistan or Iraq?
JOHN: Ummm, what?
SHERLOCK: Which was it – Afghanistan or Iraq?
JOHN: Afghanistan. I’m sorry – how did you…
SHERLOCK: Very well. How do you feel about the violin?
JOHN: Sorry?
SHERLOCK: I like to play the violin when I’m thinking, and sometimes I don’t speak for
days on end. Will that be a problem? Potential flatmates should know the
worst about each other, I feel.
JOHN: [To Lestrade] Oh, you ... you told him about me?
LESTRADE: Not a word.
JOHN: Then who said anything about flatmates?
SHERLOCK: I did. Told Greg this morning that I must be a difficult man to find a flatmate
for. Now here he is with an old friend, clearly just home from military service
in Afghanistan. Wasn’t that difficult a leap.
JOHN: Sorry, how did you know about Afghanistan?
SHERLOCK: [Ignoring the question] Just moved into a nice little place in Central London,
but I’m looking for a flat mate. Together we ought to afford it, I should say.
JOHN: [At a loss for words] Uhh…
SHERLOCK: Head around tomorrow sometime. Sorry – gotta dash. I’ll… I’ll see you soon,
then.
JOHN: Is that it?
SHERLOCK: Is that what?
JOHN: We’ve only just met and we’re gonna move in together?
SHERLOCK: Problem?
JOHN: We don’t know a thing about each other; I don’t know where we’re meeting;
I don’t even know your full name.
 PAGE 7

SHERLOCK: I know you’re a thirty-two-year-old army doctor recently invalided home

from Afghanistan. I also know that you did indeed get shot, but you’ve made
a full physical recovery, and I’m afraid your therapist is quite correct in
assuming that your limp is psychosomatic. Furthermore, I all know about
your embarrassingly extensive collection of Minecraft memorabilia. [A beat]
I think that’s enough to be going on with, don’t you? The name’s Sherlock
Holmes and the address is 221B Baker Street. Afternoon, Doctor Watson.
Lestrade.
[Exit Sherlock. John looks at Lestrade in disbelief.]
JOHN: What the hell just happened?
LESTRADE: Yeah. He’s always like that. Well, I’m gonna take off.
JOHN: Righto, I’ll come with. Um, thank you for that…
LESTRADE: No worries, mate.
[Exit Lestrade and John. Several seconds go by, and then - ]
MOLLY (OS): Now, it might be a little hot –
[Enter Molly, carrying a cup of coffee.]
MOLLY: – the kettle was playing up. I hope you don’t mind, Sherlock. I made sure –
[She looks up to be greeted by an empty room.]
MOLLY: Every time. Every goddamn time.
[Exit Molly.]

4
221B Flat – Interior.
Sherlock stands, playing his Violin. He plays a few bars, only to be cut off by the sound of the
downstairs doorbell. In a panic, Sherlock does his best effort to tidy the flat.
SHERLOCK: Bring him up, Mrs Hudson!
MRS HUDSON: Hold your horses!
[We hear muffled conversation and footsteps from downstairs growing louder, as
John and Mrs Hudson approach the flat. Sherlock continues frantically straightening
things out, before sitting down and pretending to read. Last minute, he realises his
book is upside down. Mrs Hudson opens the door and enters the room, followed by
John Watson, with a large suitcase in hand.]
SHERLOCK: Hello again, doctor Watson.
JOHN: Please… call me John. [He places the suitcase on the ground and they shake
hands]
SHERLOCK: I trust you’ve met Mrs Hudson, then.
JOHN: Yes, we were just –
 PAGE 8

SHERLOCK: Would you be a lamb and just take that into the spare room for us?
MRS HUDSON: I’m your landlady, dear, not your housekeeper.
SHERLOCK: Huh. Quite right.
MRS HUDSON: And I just want to let you both know that I’m more than okay with this.
JOHN: Uhh… with what, exactly?
MRS HUDSON: Oh, don’t worry dear, no need to be embarrassed. We’ve got all sorts around
here! In fact, there’s another lovely little gay couple just a few doors down.
JOHN: Oh. No… this isn’t… we aren’t… I mean… I’m not…
MRS HUDSON: It’s okay dear. You needn’t worry. Have fun, boys… and be safe!
JOHN: No, I’m not –
[Exit Mrs Hudson]
JOHN: – Gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
SHERLOCK: Ahem. Welcome!
JOHN: Thank you! This is… really… very nice. I love the decorum and… uhhh…is
that… is that a real skull? [He gestures to the skull on the fireplace.]
SHERLOCK: Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well.
JOHN: Right… I’ve got to ask you…
SHERLOCK: Mm?
JOHN: How’d you do it?
SHERLOCK: Do what?
JOHN: How’d you know all that stuff about me – about my Military service?
SHERLOCK: It’s what I do, John. I’m the world’s only consulting detective. A bit out of
practice, I admit…
JOHN: I see.
SHERLOCK: That said, my observational skills still stand true. I can disclose a man’s exact
prior whereabouts from the mud on his bootstraps... I can identify an airline
pilot by his left thumb... I can tell a man’s sexual preference by the size of
his-
JOHN: - okay, okay – I get the picture. This all just seems very strange.
SHERLOCK: Strange? Hardly. It’s elementary, my dear Watson!

SONG: THE SCIENCE OF DEDUCTION

 PAGE 9

5
Moriarty’s Lair – Interior.
As the lights fade up, we see the villainous James Moriarty and his two henchmen sitting at a
small table centre stage, playing the card-game Uno.
HENCHMAN 2: Your turn, Mr Moriarty Sir.
MORIARTY: I know, hold your horses. I’m just… thinking.
[They play a few more cards]
MORIARTY: Draw 4. Red.
HENCHMAN 1: Draw 8.
HENCHMAN 2: [Nervously] Uhhh, draw 12, sir.
[Moriarty yells in frustration.]
MORIARTY: Oh, wait. [A beat] Draw 14. Sucker.
HENCHMAN 1: Hang on, didn’t we establish that you can’t play ‘Draw 2s’ on top of ‘Draw
4s’?
[Moriarty pulls a gun from his jacket and points it at Henchman 1 aggressively.]
MORIARTY: Draw… 14. Draw 14!
[Henchman 1 begins slowly and anxiously drawing 14 cards from the deck. Moriarty puts his
gun away.]
MORIARTY: Any word on you-know-who?
HENCHMAN 2: [Whispering and looking around] … you mean…Voldemort?
MORIARTY: No, not Voldemort you pathetic imbecile. Sherlock Holmes. Any activity?
HENCHMAN 2: Um – not that I’m aware of, sir.
MORIARTY: Ughhhhhhhhhh……
HENCHMAN 2: What is it, Mr Moriarty, sir?
MORIARTY: Oh… you know. [A beat, as he looks down at his hand of cards]
Oh! Uno!
HENCHMAN 2: You win, sir. You always win.
MORIARTY: I know, I know. I just wish I could win with all this Sherlock Holmes
business.
HENCHMAN 2: You almost did, sir.
MORIARTY: I know, but that was years ago. I nearly had him.
HENCHMAN 1: [Just finishing drawing his 14 cards] Oh! Did you say Sherlock Holmes? I
forgot to tell you, he’s back on the streets.
MORIARTY: What?
 PAGE 10

HENCHMAN 1: Yeah, seems as though he’s somewhat back in the public eye.
MORIARTY: Are you kidding me?
HENCHMAN 1: What?
MORIARTY: I literally just asked if you’d… oh, never mind. AT LAST! The Great
Detective is back! He’s not gonna know what’s hit him.
HENCHMAN 2: Should I bring out the champagne, sir?
MORIARTY: By all means! Champers all round, fellas! This is an occasion!
[Henchman 2 brings around wine glasses for everybody and pours]
HENCHMAN 1: What’s happening?
MORIARTY: Now that Sherlock’s back, I can beat him once and for all. All I’ve got to do
is catch his attention. Any suggestions?
HENCHMAN 1: Why don’t you… break into Pentonville prison and release all the prisoners?
MORIARTY: Bit lacklustre… it’s been done.
HENCHMAN 2: How about something bigger, like breaking into all the vaults in the Bank of
London.
MORIARTY: Hmm, on the right track, I suppose. I was thinking more along the lines of:
break into the Tower of London, sit atop the Golden throne and wear the
Crown Jewels on my pretty little head!
HENCHMAN 1: Ohhh yes! Me likey!
HENCHMAN 2: Well… why don’t you do all three?
MORIARTY: Of course… yes! Now we’re really getting somewhere. That’s brilliant!
HENCHMAN 2: Thank you, Mr Moriarty sir.
MORIARTY: Not you, fool. Me! I’m so smart.
HENCHMAN 1: You are, sir?
MORIARTY: What are you saying? Of course I am! They don’t call me Smarty Moriarty
for nothing.
HENCHMAN 2: With all due respect, sir, who calls you that?
MORIARTY: Let me show you… Maestro!

SONG: SMARTY MORIARTY

 PAGE 11

6
221B Flat – Interior / Exterior.
John sits in his armchair, writing casually on his laptop. Sherlock enters quietly, sneaks over
to behind John’s shoulder and begins reading off the screen. Suddenly -
SHERLOCK: What’s this?
[John jumps in fright]
JOHN: JESUS. Please. Stop. Doing. That.
SHERLOCK: Well?
JOHN: Oh right – this is… this is my blog.
SHERLOCK: [He stifles a laugh] You have a blog? That’s funny… I didn’t peg you for a
Tumblr kind of guy.
JOHN: No - my therapist says writing a blog about everything that happens to me
will help me adjust to civilian life.
SHERLOCK: I see. So, how are you settling in, then?
JOHN: To London?
SHERLOCK: To the flat.
JOHN: Oh! No, it’s great... really convenient, and -
[We hear the downstairs doorbell]
SHERLOCK: Mrs Hudson!
MRS HUDSON (OS): I’m coming, I’m coming.
JOHN: How many people come in and out of this flat every day?
SHERLOCK: You’d be surprised.
[Enter Lestrade]
LESTRADE: Hello, hello.
SHERLOCK: Hi Geoff, come in.
LESTRADE: John, how are you settling in, then?
JOHN: Yeah great thanks… we were actually just um… sorry… did he… did he just
call you Geoff?
LESTRADE: Yeah. Don’t worry about it.
SHERLOCK: What?
LESTRADE: My name. You get it wrong all the time.
SHERLOCK: I do not!
LESTRADE: Okay then… what is it?
 PAGE 12

SHERLOCK: Well, it’s… it’s Lestrade.

LESTRADE: Nice try. What’s my first name?
SHERLOCK: Uhhh… Graham?
LESTRADE: No.
SHERLOCK: Damn. Gavin?
JOHN: Do you really not know his name?
SHERLOCK: Grant? Glen? Gordon? Garry? Garbellini? It’s not Gimli, is it?
LESTRADE: Yes. It’s Gimli.
SHERLOCK: Really?
LESTRADE: Yeah.
SHERLOCK: Actually?
LESTRADE: It’s Greg, for Christ’s sake.
SHERLOCK: That’s what I said the first time! Greg. Like the yellow wiggle.
LESTRADE: But the yellow wiggle’s a bloody sheila…
JOHN: So, Lestrade, what’s brought you here?
LESTRADE: Oh! Enormous spike in London’s crime rate. I’ve got a bunch of unsolved
cases lined up and we’d appreciate your help again, Sherlock. Just like the
old days.
SHERLOCK: Ooh! Splendid.
JOHN: What sort of cases?
LESTRADE: Well, a collection of serial suicides, for one.
JOHN: That’s terrible.
SHERLOCK: That’s fantastic!
LESTRADE: So, you’ll take them, then? London needs you.
SHERLOCK: Well naturally, but… I’ll need an assistant…
LESTRADE: Oh! I’m flattered Sherlock, I thought you’d never –
SHERLOCK: Not you, Gimli. John, you’re a doctor.
JOHN: Yes.
SHERLOCK: Any good?
JOHN: Very good.
SHERLOCK: Seen a lot of injuries, then? Violent deaths?
JOHN: Mmmhmm.
SHERLOCK: Bit of trouble, I bet.
 PAGE 13

JOHN: Enough for a lifetime… far too much.

SHERLOCK: Want to see some more?
JOHN: Oh, God yes.
LESTRADE: Can I come?
SHERLOCK: Eh.
LESTRADE: WOO! Do do… do-do-do-do-do-do-do…..

SONG: SOLVING CASES

7
221B Flat – Interior. Day.
As the song ends, JOHN and SHERLOCK return to 221B and sink into their chairs. The lights fade
back up on the apartment.
SHERLOCK: John?
JOHN: Mm.
SHERLOCK: I’m bored.
JOHN: What?
SHERLOCK: I’m bloody BORED!
JOHN: Sherlock, we’ve just spent the past 5 weeks solving cases. Every single day.
Back to back. How the hell could you possibly be bored?
[We hear the downstairs doorbell]
MRS HUDSON: [Offstage] Sherlock! Mycroft’s here!

[Sherlock sighs.]
JOHN: [To Sherlock] Who?
MRS HUDSON: Oh, and Lestrade!
SHERLOCK: Let them up, Mrs Hudson.
MRS HUDSON: [To Molly] Oh, hello darling. [To Sherlock] Molly’s here too! [She calls out
into the street] Anyone else want to come up!? [The door slams.]
[Enter Mycroft, sassy and confident.]
MYCROFT: Knock-knock! Afternoon, Shirley!
SHERLOCK: Hello Mycroft…
JOHN: [After an uncomfortably long pause] Hello umm... I’m -
 PAGE 14

SHERLOCK: - oh right. John, my unfortunate brother - Mycroft Holmes. Mycroft, my

colleague, John Watson. Doctor.
MYCROFT: Strange.
JOHN: No, Doctor Watson. Not Doctor Strange.
SHERLOCK: Yes, that’s my other franchise.
MYCROFT: No I mean that it’s strange to see you with a Colleague. I was under the
impression you worked alone.
SHERLOCK: Yes, well… not anymore.
MYCROFT: And a doctor ay? Do you have a lot of patients then?
[Enter Lestrade and Molly. Molly holds a large present.]
LESTRADE: He’d need a hell of lot of patience if he’s living with Sherlock…
SHERLOCK: Gimli, don’t talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street. Hi Molly.
MOLLY: Hello!
SHERLOCK: John – you’ve met Molly haven’t you?
JOHN: Yes, briefly I think, at the Lab.
MOLLY: That’s right.
MYCROFT: Well of course I do know quite a bit about you already, Dr Watson. A
mystery man running around doing God knows what with my little brother –
I’ve been keeping a very close eye.
SHERLOCK: Oh, come off it…
MYCROFT: I should explain – I occupy a minor position in the British Government.
LESTRADE: Mycroft is the British Government.
MYCROFT: Hardly…
LESTRADE: Oh! I see you’ve ditched the walking stick, John?
JOHN: What? Oh! [He looks at Sherlock]
SHERLOCK: Told you it was psychosomatic. You left it out on one of our cases weeks
ago. Your therapist was quite right, you know. [He winks at John]
JOHN: [Heartfelt, sincere] Thank you.
SHERLOCK: So… what’s in the box, Molly?
MOLLY: Oh, right, haha – um – well, it’s for you… actually.
MYCROFT: Yes, a little congratulatory gift. For the ridiculous number of cases you’ve
solved over this past month.
LESTRADE: And a thank you. For doing all my dirty-work for me. We all chipped in.
[Lestrade presents the box to Sherlock, who opens it and removes the contents. He holds up
an old-style “Sherlock Holmes” deerstalker hat.]
 PAGE 15

SHERLOCK: Ahem. Uh – I – I don’t wear hats…

[John delivers an elbow to Sherlock’s ribs.]
SHERLOCK: I mean, uh - thank you! It’s very nice. Very nice indeed.
MOLLY: Well, are you going to put it on?
SHERLOCK: Oh – no. I think I’ll pass. [To himself] Why has it got two fronts?
LESTRADE: What?! Uhh, no. Sorry. You have to put it on.
SHERLOCK: No, I’m really alright thank yo-
MYCROFT: [Chanting] Put it on. Put it on. Put it on.
[Everybody begins to join in. Sherlock stands stubbornly, arms crossed.]
ALL: Put it on! Put it on! Put it on! Put it on!
SHERLOCK: Okay, okay! Fine! I’ll put the blasted thing on.
[As he puts it on, the lights turn a very warm colour and brighten significantly. The ominous
score from the Ollivanders scene in the first Harry Potter film plays.]
MOLLY: Curious.
MYCROFT: Very curious.
JOHN: You look just like that old fictional detective… what was his name again…?
[There is unanimous confusion. Sherlock pulls a pipe from his coat and has a puff.]
MYCROFT: Any rate, it’s good to see you two getting busy.
SHERLOCK: Not quite, I was just actually just telling John that I’m frankly bored shitless.
LESTRADE: Bored? You’ve just spent the past month and a half ‘solving cases’. How
could you possibly be bored?
JOHN: That’s what I said.
MOLLY: Ah well, I’m sure something good will come along.
LESTRADE: Yeah, a nice serial killer or something.
JOHN: A nice serial killer?
MOLLY: Yeah, like Ted Bundy!
MYCROFT: Or drug trafficking scandal.
MOLLY: Or a kidnapping!
LESTRADE: Or! Or…………. uh…….
[An uncomfortably long beat]
SHERLOCK: That all sounds pretty good, but you know what would be best of all?
JOHN: What?
SHERLOCK: A triple daylight robbery...
 PAGE 16

8
Tower of London – Interior.
A mass of tourists walk on from stage left, led by a tour guide. Amongst the group is Moriarty,
incognito (cap, sunnies, headphones, lanyard, etc.). Scattered around the room is paintings and other
works of art; in the middle is the Trophy Piece – the Crown Jewels, sitting atop a large throne,
encased in a large glass box.
TOUR GUIDE: Welcome to the tower of London! Initially built in 1078 AD, this
structure is of great historical significance. On your left, observe a
picture of The Queen, Her Majesty Elizabeth the second.
On your right, observe a picture of ‘Queen’, the band, fronted by
rock icon Freddie Mercury. The centrepiece of our displays here is
the beautiful crown jewels. With over twenty-three-thousand
individual gemstones, this item was crafted over 900 years ago. It
goes without saying please, refrain from touching any of the items.
Thank you.
After the Tour Guide leads the group around the space, they disperse and wander. Meanwhile,
Moriarty pulls his Mobile from his pocket and presses a button, triggering the playback of “La Gazza
Ladra by Gioacchino Rossini”. Shortly after, he presses another button setting off the centre Alarm.
The lights flash red as the crowd of tourists is evacuated, but Moriarty remains. A security guard
spots Moriarty and makes a beeline for him.
SECURITY GUARD: Excuse me mate, unfortunately you’re going to have to le –
Before he can finish his sentence, Moriarty pulls a Ventolin inhaler rigged to poison its victims from
his pocket and sprays the Security guard in the mouth. He falls to the floor, where he remains for the
rest of the scene.
With everybody now gone except Moriarty, he enjoys the moment by leaping prancing around the
stage in time to the music. The music continues, but the lights dim on this back section of the stage, as
Lestrade and Mycroft emerge from either side, downstage. Lestrade, panicked, runs up to Mycroft
who is on the phone.
LESTRADE: Mycroft, Mycroft!
MYCROFT: [Into the phone.] Excuse me, hold on, Your Majesty. [To Lestrade] What do
you want?
LESTRADE: Sorry - there’s been a break in.
MYCROFT: Not my division.
LESTRADE: You’ll want it – Tower of London.
MYCROFT: Oh, bugger off... No - not you, your majesty!
LESTRADE: Mycroft, I’m serious.
MYCROFT: …What? [Into the phone] Sorry ma’am, I’ll have to call you back.
As the pair (Mycroft following Lestrade) run off downstage, the upstage lights fade back up, revealing
Moriarty still dancing, and the Security Guard unconscious. Moriarty pulls his phone from his pocket
again and hits another button, unlocking the Royal Bank of London’s vaults. He continues dancing.
 PAGE 17

Seconds later, the upstage lights dim again as Lestrade and Mycroft re-enter from stage left. Lestrade
receives another text message, and the duo take a momentary break from running as Lestrade checks
his phone.
LESTRADE: Oh god…
MYCROFT: What now?
LESTRADE: Another security breech.
MYCROFT: Where?
LESTRADE: Bank of England.
MYCROFT: You’ve got to be kidding me…
As soon as Mycroft finishes this line, two ‘stereotypical’ burglars run across the downstage area,
burlap sacks draped over their back with large dollar signs painted on the side. Lestrade and Mycroft
pause for a moment, look at one another, and proceed to follow the burglars on foot.
LESTRADE: [As he runs] Police! Stop right there!
As they run off stage once more, the lights fade back up on Moriarty who is unstoppably dancing. Yet
again, he pulls out his phone and taps a button on the screen, this time releasing all prisoners from
the Pentonville Prison. He continues his dance.
The upstage lights fade up once again, as the Prisoners run past from stage right, followed by
Lestrade and Mycroft. Lestrade receives another text message, and they stop centre-stage.
LESTRADE: Surely not…
MYCROFT: What is it this time?
LESTRADE: Pentonville Prison.
MYCROFT: What?
LESTRADE: The cells have been opened – prisoners are escaping left, right and centre.
MYCROFT: No…. no!
At this moment, two prisoners in handcuffs run in front of Mycroft and Lestrade, entering from stage
left. Deciding to ditch their pursuit of the robbers, they chase after the prisoners instead.
The lights fade up on Moriarty once more as he dances his way over to stage left, grabs a fire
extinguisher and heads back toward the big glass box containing the Crown Jewels. With a few
swings, he sends the fire extinguisher through the front panel of the box, shattering the glass.
Lestrade and Mycroft re-enter, running across the stage. Lestrade is in the middle of a phone call.
LESTRADE: [Into the phone] What? Yes, yes okay. We’re on the way.
MYCROFT: Where to?
LESTRADE: Tower of London.
MYCROFT: Right.
As the boys exit once more, the lights fade back up on Moriarty, who is now sitting on the golden
throne, wearing the Crown Jewels, royal robe and holding a sceptre. Lestrade and Mycroft rush in,
followed by two policemen.
 PAGE 18

LESTRADE: What the f-

MORIARTY: Hello, lads.
MYCROFT: Moriarty…
MORIARTY: Did you miss me?
LESTRADE: Book him, boys.
MORIARTY: No rush…
The lights dim as the two policemen cuff Moriarty and take him offstage. The security guard remains
unconscious on the floor, and Mycroft and Lestrade work in tandem to drag him offstage as the scene
changes.

9
221B – Interior.
John sits, typing at his computer. Sherlock paces up and down the stage, frustrated.
SHERLOCK: Hmmm.
JOHN: Shh.
SHERLOCK: Sorry. [He continues pacing. Several seconds go by, then…]
Hmmmmmmmm….
JOHN: Would you please stop doing that? I’m trying to write this blog post.
SHERLOCK: What? Oh. Right. Sorry. [He continues pacing. Several more seconds go by,
then…] Uuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…………….
JOHN: Oh for God’s sake! Will you just shut up? Just. Shut. Up. You’re like a child.
No - you’re worse than a child. I feel like I’m babysitting, except instead of a
baby, it’s just this big… socially inept… psychopathic… knob head!
SHERLOCK: Sociopath, John. High functioning sociopath. And I’m sorry, but you might
just have to make do. This is what you signed up for when you agreed to be a
part of this relationship.
JOHN: Relationship?
SHERLOCK: Very well… partnership.
JOHN: I’m not sure that’s much better…
SHERLOCK: You know what I mean… I just wish something good would come along. A
real interesting case.
JOHN: Well, maybe you should start advertising your services.
SHERLOCK: I’m not a prostitute, John. I’m a private detective – and I’d like for it to stay
that way, if you don’t mind. Private.
JOHN: I’m just saying… you can’t exactly just sit here and wait for something
amazing to come along. Maybe you should…I dunno…get your name back
 PAGE 19

out there! It’s not like an amazing case is just going to come bursting through
the door, I mean –
[Mycroft and Lestrade burst through the door, panting and exhausted.]
JOHN: What in God’s name?
SHERLOCK: How did you get in? You didn’t even ring the doorbell!
LESTRADE: Sherlock, he’s… he’s back.
SHERLOCK: Voldemort?
MYCROFT: Moriarty. He’s back, and he’s after you.
SHERLOCK: Oh… sweet Mary mother of Moses…
LESTRADE: Yeah - and in true Moriarty style, he’s broken into the Tower of London, the
Bank of England, and Pentonville Prison all at once.
SHERLOCK: Brilliant! Yes… brilliant! Ahhh… God yes! It’s Christmas!
LESTRADE: It’s June…
MYCROFT: Never mind that, it’s a triple felony! What on earth are you so bloody happy
about?
SHERLOCK: [Grabbing Mycroft’s face] The game is on, brother dearest!
JOHN: Hang on, hang on - what are you talking about? Who’s back?
MYCROFT: Mowiarpy. [Sherlock lets go of his face] Thanks. Moriarty. Jim Moriarty.
JOHN: Ohh, right… Moriarty! Yes, of course it’s Moriarty. It has to be Moriarty,
yes. [A beat] Who’s Moriarty?
LESTRADE: Only the most dangerous man to walk this earth.
SHERLOCK: I don’t know… you should see Mycroft when he loses a game of Cluedo…
It’s not pretty.
MYCROFT: Oh - don’t even get me started on Cluedo! You’re the one who constantly
argues over who the killer is! “Oh no! It couldn’t possibly Mrs White in the
Dining room with the lead pipe! There’s no way her little old withered body
could muster enough strength to lift a weapon of that calibre!” I mean Jesus
Christ… loosen up! Oh, and get this – he has to measure the bloody board
every time we play!
LESTRADE (In unison)
& JOHN: Why?
SHERLOCK: Just to see if the game’s afoot. [A beat] Get it? A foot? To see if the
game’s… because that’s what I say… oh, forget it. Only the intellectuals in
our audience would have appreciated that joke.
LESTRADE: You’re the one who wanted to keep it in the script…
SHERLOCK: I was sure it would get a bigger laugh than that… I may have overestimated.
You’re all just far too slow for my quick wit.
 PAGE 20

LESTRADE: Quick wit?! More like fuckwit… [John cuts him off]
JOHN: Anyway – what’s the big deal with this Moriarty guy? Why is he so
dangerous?
MYCROFT: Here we go…

SONG: THE GAME IS ON

ACT 2
’ / 1
 PAGE 21

Nondescript location – Interior/ Exterior.

As the Entr’acte begins and the stage curtain opens, we see a dimly lit, foggy performance
space again. This is a familiar setting, almost identical to that of Act 1’s opening. The cast
swarm on stage from either side of the stage, and begin on a reprise of the opening number
from Act 1:

SONG: SHERLOCKED (REPRISE)

Kitty Riley: This is Kitty Riley from the BBC, currently standing out the front of the Old
Bailey Courthouse, wherein the trial of Criminal Mastermind James
Moriarty is about to commence. The friends and family of renowned
consulting detective Sherlock Holmes have gathered in support of him in
today’s proceedings. The so-called rivalry between Holmes and the Moriarty
supposedly dates all the way back to Season One. This just in! In a BBC
exclusive, we now bring you inside coverage of the hearing. Kitty Riley, BBC
news.

2
Courtroom – Interior.
A judge sits at a judge’s podium in a full courtroom. On one side, we see Sherlock & co. On
the other, Moriarty and the Jury.
JUDGE: Order! Order! At this time the court calls upon the defendant Mr James
Moriarty… all rise.
[Lestrade enters with Moriarty in handcuffs]
JUDGE: Summoned on account of breaking and entering, attempted robbery and
government security breaches Mr Moriarty, do you have anything to say in
your defence?
[Moriarty makes the ‘my lips are sealed’ gesture]
JUDGE: Very well. Ahem. Mr Holmes, our star witness, how long have y –
SHERLOCK: How long have I known Moriarty? Not your best line of enquiry. Irrelevant.
Next question.
JOHN: Sherlock…
SHERLOCK: What?
JUDGE: I think we’ve heard enough. I now call upon the Jury to determine…
HENCHMAN 1: Actually - we’ve already come to an agreement, your honour.
KITTY RILEY: What? No we haven-
HENCHMAN 2: - yes, yes. Ahem we find Mr Jim Moriarty… not guilty.
 PAGE 22

[Everybody on Sherlock’s side of the room gasps.]

MRS HUDSON: Oh my god…
MOLLY: No!
JUDGE: By the power invested in me, and the Judiciary system of the United
Kingdom, it is with great regret that I deem James Moriarty a free man.
Inspector Lestrade, uncuff him.
LESTRADE: You’re jokin’.
JUDGE: Do it…

3
221B Flat – Interior.
John stands impatiently in the flat, holding a newspaper with a picture of Moriarty on the front.
Sherlock sits in his armchair, pensive. He reads from the newspaper:

JOHN: “Extra Extra, Medalling Mastermind Moriarty Escapes Punishment”. So,

what - he breaks into three of the most secure places in Britain and just gets
off scot-free?
SHERLOCK: John. Why are you telling me this? I know. That scene JUST happened… I
was there in the courtroom with you… we were actu …
JOHN: Oh my god, I know, Sherlock. I know – I’m just saying… How? HOW? It’s
impossible!
SHERLOCK: Improbable, yes. Impossible, hardly. You’ll soon come to realise that nothing
is impossible for Jim Moriarty.
JOHN: What do you mean?
SHERLOCK: He has this way of networking and infiltrating that even I can’t predict.
It’s… hard for me to comprehend.
JOHN: Right, well is there any way at all you can anticipate his plans? I mean, how
did he do it all?
SHERLOCK: It pains me greatly in saying this this, but – (a beat) I don’t entirely know.
JOHN: You don’t know? (a beat) What do you mean “You don’t know”? You’re
Sherlock Holmes for Christ sake! The Sherlock Holmes!
SHERLOCK: (Sulky) I know! [He wails]
JOHN: Sherlock – I’m sorry – I… [He tries to comfort Sherlock]
SHERLOCK: (Defensive) Don’t touch me! I’m a mess!
JOHN: Sherlock! Pull yourself together man!
[He slaps Sherlock]
SHERLOCK: [A long beat] Ahem. Thank you, Watson. I was-
[He slaps Sherlock again. Harder.]
 PAGE 23

SHERLOCK: What was that for?

JOHN: Seemed appropriate.
[We hear the sound of John’s phone ringing.]
JOHN: I’d better grab that, sorry.
SHERLOCK: [Wiping a tear] No, you’re right.
[John walks over to the coffee table where his phone sits. He picks up his phone and
holds it to his ear.]
JOHN: Hello?
MYCROFT (OS): John – it’s Mycroft.
JOHN: Mycro-
MYCROFT (OS): SHH-SHH- SHUT UP! I don’t want Sherlock to know I’m calling.
JOHN: (Quietly) Sorry – sorry. What do you want?
MYCROFT (OS): No time to explain, just… come to my office. Immediately.
JOHN: What? Why? What about Sher –
MYCROFT (OS): SHHH NO! Whatever you do, don’t tell Sherlock.
JOHN: Okay, okay. Jesus.
MYCROFT (OS): Just… come quickly.
JOHN: Righto. See you soon then.
MYCROFT (OS): Yep, buh-bye.
[John hangs up and slides his phone into his pocket.]
SHERLOCK: Who was that?
JOHN: Uhh… [a beat, as he struggles to think of a suitable lie] Telstra…
SHERLOCK: Oh, okay. I hate that… when they call you right in the middle of something
important… don’t you? And don’t even get me started on those Filipino
computer scam call centres, I – [He begins trailing off, only to be cut off by
John.]
JOHN: - Yeah… Sherlock?
SHERLOCK: Mm? –
JOHN: I’m just going to step out for a bit. Get some fresh air – that sort of thing.
SHERLOCK: Oh?
JOHN: All this ‘Moriarty’ business has got me a bit tense. Need to walk it off.
SHERLOCK: Fair enough, yes. I wouldn’t mind being alone for a bit as well. Just to mull
things over.
JOHN: Okay, cheerio.
 PAGE 24

SHERLOCK: Ta-ta.
[Sherlock picks up his violin and begins to play. After a few bars, he stops. As he
listens, he can hear somebody’s footsteps coming up the stairs – it’s not John, and it’s
not Mrs Hudson. The footsteps stop, so he continues to play. After another bar – the
footsteps return. The door swings open, and there stands Moriarty, effeminate as
ever. A spotlight shines on him, drawing all attention to him as he strikes a
extravagant pose. An audial stinger also plays.]

MORIARTY: Heeeerrrreeee’s Jimmy!

SHERLOCK: Most people phone beforehand. But then again, you’re not most people I
suppose.
MORIARTY: Did you miss me? [He chuckles, then looks down at the violin in Sherlock’s
hand] Oh - that dreadful screeching was you! I thought a cat must have been
dying or something. Andre Rieu would be disgusted. [He looks toward the
empty pair of seats] May I?
SHERLOCK: Please.
[Sherlock gestures toward the seat on the left; but Moriarty sits in the seat on the
right.]
SHERLOCK: So… why are you here?
MORIARTY: Oh, I think we both know the answer to that, Mr Holmes. I mean, aren’t you
pleased?
SHERLOCK: With the verdict?
MORIARTY: With me, of course!
SHERLOCK: Yes. Well, you got to the Jury somehow, obviously.
MORIARTY: I broke into three of the most secure places in the country – worming my way
into 4 apartment buildings was a walk in the park.
SHERLOCK: Yes, I can see how that w- hang on… four? Isn’t a jury usually made up of
twelve?
MORIARTY: Yes, well we’ve got a pretty small cast. And two of them were my
Henchmen, so that was pretty convenient. For the other two, I disguised
myself as a Girl Scout, selling cookies. When they returned with the money,
I’d pull my gun and threaten to shoot them in the knees if they didn’t agree to
find me not guilty.
SHERLOCK: That’s got to be probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Why didn’t they
just call the poli-
MORIARTY: That may be, but it worked. And I got what I wanted in the end, didn’t I?
Your attention.
SHERLOCK: Bit unnecessary if you ask me… you could’ve just texted me or something.
MORIARTY: You love it though, Sherlock. I know you do.
SHERLOCK: Well actually, I –
 PAGE 25

MORIARTY: - because we’re just alike, you and I. Except you’re boring. Boring old
Sherlock Holmes. It seems as if “The Great Detective” isn’t so great after
all! You’re no great detective! You’re the… [he struggles to find his words]
…bad… detective.
SHERLOCK: (Sarcastically) You always did have a way with words.
MORIARTY: (Quick and bitterly) Thanks.
SHERLOCK: (Mockingly) No worries.
MORIARTY: Oh, come on Sherlock, don’t be like that. You need me. Without me,
(Whispering) you’re nothing.

SONG: YOU’RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME

MORIARTY: And don’t go thinking that just because we shared a dance we’re on good
terms.
SHERLOCK: Of course not.
MORIARTY: I’m going to bring you down, Sherlock Holmes. I have insight into your life.
I know all your weaknesses; all your sensitive spots.
SHERLOCK: [Stifling a laugh] Sorry – I just can’t take you seriously in that.
MORIARTY: Just… just watch your back, Sherlock. I’m not just gonna destroy you, I’m
gonna bring everyone you love down in the process. Toodaloo!
[Exit Moriarty. As he puts his fingers to his temple, we hear Sherlock’s inner
monologue via SFX through the speakers:]
SHERLOCK (VO): Everyone I love. That’s like… four whole people. But who wouldn’t
Moriarty know about? Someone that I can trust… that I care about… but
never sho... Molly.
SHERLOCK: Molly!
[Exit Sherlock]

4
Mycroft’s Office – Interior.
Mycroft sits on the edge of his desk, talking to Lestrade, who is sitting comfortably in an arm chair.
LESTRADE: Mustn’t have been too difficult though – I mean, you’re multilingual, aren’t
you?
MYCROFT: Yeah – you have to be with a job like this… French, German, Korean,
Mandarin… What about you?
 PAGE 26

LESTRADE: Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I do speak pig Latin. I mean, I’m not fluent by
any means, but I’m sure if I ever went there, I could get by.
[We hear a knocking at the door]
MYCROFT: Come in!
[Enter John, panicked]
JOHN: What’s happened? What’s going on?
MYCROFT: Yes, welcome to my Office, John. Take a seat, by all means.
JOHN: Well… what is it?
MYCROFT: It’s about Moriarty.
JOHN: Yes… everything seems to be, lately. What about him?
LESTRADE: Might want to prepare yourself. Settle in.
JOHN: Okay?
MYCROFT: People like him: we know about them; we keep an eye on them. But James
Moriarty ... the most dangerous criminal mind the world has ever seen – we
figured he must have a goldmine of criminal information.
JOHN: Right. And this involves me… how?
LESTRADE: Hold on, he’s getting there.
MYCROFT: Thanks, Greg. [Touching Lestrade’s leg] As I was saying, we abducted him
to try and get him to talk. Interrogated him for weeks on end.
JOHN: And?
LESTRADE: And he wouldn’t play along.
JOHN: What – so you knew about this as well?
LESTRADE: Uhh…
JOHN: Want to drop any more bombshells while you’re at it? Next thing you’ll be
letting slip that… that Bruce Wayne is Batman.
LESTRADE: [He lets out a loud gasp] No……
MYCROFT: Moriarty just wouldn’t talk... we tried everything. And I mean everything.
JOHN: Everything?
LESTRADE: Everything…
[We hear the sound of dream-like harp music, signifying a flashback as the lights
come up on the opposite side of the stage. Moriarty sits lethargically on an office
chair, his arms bound together. Lestrade and Mycroft have migrated over to this new
area of the stage, and are engaging in conversation.]
MYCROFT: Look, I’ve tried nearly everything and I’m getting nowhere. I think… I think
we’re gonna have to do it again.
 PAGE 27

LESTRADE: Do what?
MYCROFT: You know…
LESTRADE: You mean…
MYCROFT: Yes. The ‘Good-Cop-Dance-Cop’ routine.
LESTRADE: Okay, if you’re sure.
MYCROFT: I am.
LESTRADE: Well, who’s going to be which?
MYCROFT: Well, I thought I could be ‘Good Cop’… and you can be ‘Dance Cop’.
LESTRADE: But I was ‘Dance Cop’ last time…
MYCROFT: Yeah, but you’re so good at it…
LESTRADE: Yeah… I know... okay, deal. This is where my amateur dance instructing
really comes in handy. Zumba isn’t anything to be laughed at, you know. It
can be lethal, if used correctly.
MYCROFT: I know. Okay, I’m going in. Give it your all.
LESTRADE: Good luck.
[Lestrade walks into the darkness, and Mycroft walks over to Moriarty]
MYCROFT: Moriarty, I’m trying to help you here. We’re not so different, you and I…
MORIARTY: There’s nothing you can do to make me talk, Mycroft.
MYCROFT: Look… I’m sorry that it’s come to this. LESTRADE! Get in here.
[We hear a funky techno beat as Lestrade enters. He dances his way over to Moriarty
and continues dancing in his close proximity for the duration of the song, trying to
make Moriarty crack. For the entirety of the song, Moriarty doesn’t budge.]
MYCROFT: Now how do you feel? You maybe… ready to talk yet?
MORIARTY: Nope.
LESTRADE: UGH… he’s tougher than a two-dollar steak.
MYCROFT: Oh! I’ve got it! I’ll tell you all about my brother Sherlock in exchange for
your wealth of criminal information.
MORIARTY: Yeah, alright.
[We hear the dream-like harp music once again, signifying a flashforward to where
we left off. The lights back come up on this side of the stage and John still sits in the
armchair.]
MYCROFT: The only thing Moriarty seemed to be interested in was Sherlock. So
naturally… I… I told him information about Sherlock to make him crack.
Personal information.
JOHN: What!? Your own brother, and you blabbed about his entire life to this
maniac…
 PAGE 28

MYCROFT: I never inten... I never dreamt ...

JOHN: So ... what you’re trying to tell me is: “Watch Sherlock’s back, because I’ve
made a mistake.”
MYCROFT: Well…
JOHN: You’re the one who screwed up, not me! Why should I suffer?
LESTRADE: Awkward…
JOHN: [Pointing at Lestrade] You, shut up. [Turning back to Mycroft] I can’t
believe you.
MYCROFT: We all know what’s coming, John. Moriarty is obsessed. He’s sworn to
destroy his only rival.
JOHN: Yeah, thanks to you!
LESTRADE: He’s right, you know.
MYCROFT: Who’s side are you on here?
LESTRADE: I don’t know? Neither?
MYCROFT: I’m sorry, John. It had to be done.
JOHN: Moriarty wants Sherlock destroyed, right? Well, you’ve given him the perfect
ammunition.
MYCROFT: John ... I’m... we’re… [Looking at Lestrade]
LESTRADE: Don’t drag me into this…
MYCROFT: I’m… I’m sorry.
JOHN: Oh, please...
MYCROFT: Just… look after Sherlock, alright? But try not to make it too obvious. Please.
JOHN: Right.
MYCROFT: I worry about him, John.
[Exit John, silent and frustrated]
MYCROFT: Wow.
LESTRADE: What?
MYCROFT: [Sarcastic] Thanks for all the help back there. Really appreciate it.
LESTRADE: Well I’m sorry! It’s pretty messed up, man. I don’t wanna get too involv-
[We hear a doorbell]
MYCROFT: What now?
LESTRADE: Come in!
MYCROFT: We don’t even have a doorbell…
[Enter Moriarty’s two henchman, dressed as Mormon Missionaries.]
 PAGE 29

HENCHMAN 1: Good afternoon Gentlemen.

HENCHMAN 2: We were just wondering if you had a moment to talk about our Lord and
Saviour, JAMES MORIARTY!
[Henchman 2 pulls a gun from his pocket, and proceeds to shoot both of Lestrade’s
knees. In a violent display, Lestrade falls to the ground, groaning in agony and
clutching his legs. Mycroft on the other hand, is screaming like a three-year-old girl
and waving his hands about, pleading with the two Henchman not to hurt him. They
hold the gun to Mycroft’s head, ordering him to follow them out of the room.
Henchman 1 drags Lestrade out by his legs]

5
St Barts Laboratory – Interior.
Sherlock stands in partial darkness in the Laboratory, waiting for Molly. She enters from the
door on stage left, and Sherlock surprises her with:
SHERLOCK: Molly.
MOLLY: Ah! Jeeee…sus. My god. Sherlock, you’ve got to stop doing that.
SHERLOCK: I’m… I’m sorry.
MOLLY: It’s okay – I just get a bit jumpy, you kno–
SHERLOCK: – no, I mean I’m truly sorry. I’m sorry… that I haven’t been taking you
seriously. For a long time.
MOLLY: Oh… right. Okay. I, umm, I don’t know what to sa–
SHERLOCK: Molly, there’s something I need to tell you.
MOLLY: Actually, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you as well.
SHERLOCK: Oh? Well you go first, by all means -
MOLLY: - no, no, you should go first.
SHERLOCK: Okay. Umm… I… I… think I’m going to die.
MOLLY: [She laughs at first, then realises he’s serious] Wh… what?
SHERLOCK: Moriarty’s got me cornered.
MOLLY: No… no that can’t be true. You’re Sherlock Holmes. The “Great Sherlock
Holmes”. You… you can’t be ‘cornered’.
SHERLOCK: Well, I’m afraid it would seem that way.
MOLLY: [Under her breath] No…
SHERLOCK: If I wasn’t everything that you think I am – everything that I think I am –
would you still want to help me?
MOLLY: What do you need?
 PAGE 30

SHERLOCK: Moriarty’s got the lives of all the people I love hanging by a thread. But there
was one thing he didn’t account for. You, Molly Hooper. I need you.
MOLLY: [Chuffed] I’ll do whatever it takes.
SHERLOCK: I’ve deduced that he’s going to summon me up to the rooftop of this very
laboratory. A showdown. Now, there are 13 likely scenarios once I’m up
there. Each of them, I’ve rigorously worked out and given a codename.
That’s where you come in.
MOLLY: I see. Sorry, this is just a lot for me to take in…
SHERLOCK: I know. It’s okay. [A long beat] He’s sworn to kill me, Molly.
MOLLY: [Sympathetic] Sherlock… you’re very brave.
SHERLOCK: Brave? Me…? [A beat] Yeah. [A beat] Now once I’m up there, I’ll contact
you and set the wheels in motion. Are you one hundred percent prepared to
do this?
MOLLY: Yes. Yes I am.
SHERLOCK: Listen Molly, you can’t tell anybody about this. Not John, not my brother, not
anyone. John doesn’t even know I’m here right now, and it’s very important
that it stays that way.
MOLLY: Not a word. Got it.
SHERLOCK: Good.
[Sherlock pulls a USB from inside his coat and hands it to Molly]
SHERLOCK: This USB Drive contains all the necessary information required for you to
ensure my survival. Be quick. Be accurate. Be vigilant. My life is in your
hands, Molly Hooper.
MOLLY: Okay.
SHERLOCK: [A long beat] Now, what was it that you wanted to tell me?
[Molly hesitates for a moment, before leaning in and spontaneously, passionately
kissing Sherlock]
SHERLOCK: Oh… umm… Molly. I… I think you should know I consider myself married
to my work, and for that… reason… I… I… think I should… [He trails off]
[Sherlock leans in and kisses Molly back, equally as passionately, if not more so]
LESTRADE: [Bursts through the door, frantic and energetic] SHERLOCK! He’s BACK!
Oh… shit, sorry… uhh….
SHERLOCK: What are you doing? We already did that scene – that was in Act 1…
LESTRADE: What?
SHERLOCK: What? You’re not in this scene! And didn’t you just get shot in the knees?
LESTRADE: What? Ohhh… right….. yeah…. righto…. ohh, ouchhhhhhhh… [he hobbles
back offstage]
 PAGE 31

SHERLOCK: Ahem. Thank you, Molly.

MOLLY: Any time.
[Sherlock heads for the door. Just before he exits-]
MOLLY: Sherlock?
SHERLOCK: Mm?
MOLLY: Good luck.
[Exit Sherlock. He quickly realises that he’s gone out the wrong way. Enter
Sherlock.]
SHERLOCK: Wrong door.
[Exit Sherlock.]

SONG: PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

6
Moriarty’s Lair – Interior.
Moriarty can be seen in his Lair. He sings to himself as he sets up a camera on a tripod. Mrs
Hudson sits unconscious in an office chair on stage right; her arms bound and her mouth
taped over.

SONG: MARIA – RTY

MORIARTY: BEEP BEEP BEEP – Good morning, this is your wake-up call!
MRS HUDSON: [She wakes up] Mmmm?

MORIARTY: Welcome to hotel Moriarty, Mrs Hudson!

MRS HUDSON: MmMMMmmmm!
MORIARTY: What’s the problem? Is the service not to your liking, madam?
MRS HUDSON: MMMMMHHHhMMmm!
MORIARTY: If you’d like to lodge a complaint, I’m afraid you’ll have to take that up with
our friendly customer service representatives – oh! Right on time!
[Enter both Henchman, wheeling in Lestrade and Mycroft, both also tied to office
chairs]
HENCHMAN 1: We got ‘em, sir.
HENCHMAN 2: Both of them.
MORIARTY: Ahhhh, brilliant. Bring ‘em in, boys, and join the party! The ‘Moriarty
Party’! Hehehe!
 PAGE 32

[He rips the tape from Mrs Hudson’s mouth.]

MRS HUDSON: Oh my god - Greg, Mycroft! They got you too!
LESTRADE: Mrs Hudson! Are you okay?
MYCROFT: [To Moriarty] Let us go, you sick freak!
MORIARTY: Oh, I couldn’t do that… no, no… you three are the final piece of my puzzle.
LESTRADE: What are you talking about?
MORIARTY: It’s all falling into place now. Now that I’ve got you three in the palm of my
hand, I can blackmail Sherlock into doing whatever I want!
MRS HUDSON: What about John?
MYCROFT: Yeah, where’s John?
MORIARTY: Oh… don’t you worry… I’ve got my team of snipers onto him.
HENCHMAN 2: Brilliant, sir.
MORIARTY: I know. Just wait until you three see what I do to your little detective friend.
LESTRADE: [A long beat] What… are you going to do with him?
MORIARTY: I thought you’d never ask! I’m going to summon him up to the rooftop of the
Laboratory for an intellectual showdown. When he’s up there, I’ll make him
aware of our little hostage situation, and tell him he has no choice but to
throw himself off the building… if he wants to save his friends, that is. Pretty
classy, hey?
MYCROFT: You bastard! You won’t get away with this!
MORIARTY: Oh, I think you’ll find that I will. It seems as though the shoe is on the other
foot now, boys! Feels like just yesterday that I was in that very chair.
Abducted, against my will.
MRS HUDSON: What’s he talking about?
MORIARTY: Bit of a shame about those kneecaps though, ey? The dancing was rather
good, I must admit.
LESTRADE: Pervert…
MORIARTY: But that isn’t the end of my little revenge plot… oh no! I’m just getting
started. You see, I was waiting in the wings, and I thought – why does
Sherlock get his own musical and I don’t! It’s not fair!
MYCROFT: What?
MORIARTY: The bad guy never gets his own musical – it’s always about the good guy.
Except for like… Wicked – but that’s complicated – she’s just misunderstood
– anyway… with the help of my Henchmen, I’ve taken initiative and written
my own little show: ‘Moriarty! The Musical’. It’s rather good, if I do say so
I… and I do. I just need to start advertising it – that’s where you guys are
gonna give me a hand.
MRS HUDSON: Is that what the camera’s for?
 PAGE 33

MORIARTY: Precisely. You’re gonna look down the lens and say something good about
my Musical, okay? Okay! Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?
LESTRADE: But we haven’t even seen it…
MORIARTY: Don’t care.
HENCHMAN 2: You want the Green Screen up, sir?
MORIARTY: Please, yes. [A beat as they stretch the screen out behind the hostages] Okay,
looking great… sorry, just let me focus… can you bring it up a bit?
HENCHMAN 1: This side?
MORIARTY: Just a bit… okay, yep. Okay… perfect… recording… and… action! …Go.
Come on, say something for God’s sake!
MRS HUDSON: What do you want us to say?
LESTRADE: You haven’t told us to…
MYCROFT: Yeah…
MORIARTY: No, no… just… just go! Just say something good. Come on. Go.
MYCROFT: Alright… ahem. Moriarty’s performance was marginally better than Russell
Crowe’s in Les Miserables.
MORIARTY: CUT! Come on, that’s just mean…
HENCHMAN 2: Yeah, you’re nowhere near that bad, sir.
MORIARTY: Thanks. [Checking his watch] Oh, biscuits – I’ve gotta head up to the
rooftop. Remember what I told you boys, stick to the plan.
HENCHMAN 1: Will do, Sir.
MORIARTY: You guys are the best. Mwahs.
HENCHMAN 2: Good luck, sir.
MORIARTY: Same to you two. It’s do or die! (Sinister) Literally. So… don’t screw it up
for me. [He begins his exit, and addresses the hostages] Play nice now, you
three. Hehehe!
LESTRADE: I’ll make you pay for this!
MORIARTY: (Singsong) No you won’t!
[Exit Moriarty]
HENCHMAN 1: Alright, take 2… and… action. So guys, what did you think of the show?
MRS HUDSON: You’ve heard of ‘Cats The Musical’… well, step aside Andrew Lloyd
Webber - now there’s an even bigger bunch of pussies on Broadway!
HENCHMAN 1: CUT!
 PAGE 34

7
221B Flat – Interior.
Enter John, back from Mycroft’s Office. He throws his coat over the back of his chair.
JOHN: (Overly cheery) Honey, I’m home! Sherlock, I’m back! Sherlock…? Hello?
[He walks around the flat, looking for Sherlock. He exits momentarily through the door on
stage-left. Sherlock sneaks in through the door on stage right, relaxing into his chair. John
re-enters.]
JOHN: There you are! Where’d you go?
SHERLOCK: Uhh, I’ve been here the whole time.
JOHN: But I just… you weren’t…
SHERLOCK: Hmm?
JOHN: Oh, never mind.
SHERLOCK: So how was your walk?
JOHN: Walk?
SHERLOCK: You went on a walk to let off some steam?
JOHN: No I didn’t?
SHERLOCK: What?
JOHN: I went and talked to Mycr… OH! Right, yes, my walk. Yes it was… it was
good… good walk. Yes.
SHERLOCK: Nice, man. Where’d you go?
JOHN: Ummm, just… you know… backstage.
SHERLOCK: Right on.
JOHN: Sherlock, I’ve got to talk to you about something. It’s… it’s important.
SHERLOCK: Okay?
JOHN: Uhh… you’re… in danger.
SHERLOCK: I know.
JOHN: No… I mean… you’re really… in danger, Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: Yeah, I know.
JOHN: No… it’s uhhh… it’s…. ummmm… just stay here. Please. Stay right here.
SHERLOCK: (Confused) …okay?
JOHN: Good. Fancy a cuppa?
SHERLOCK: Love one, if you’re making.
JOHN: Sure. Tea? Coffee?
 PAGE 35

SHERLOCK: Coffee. Black, two sugars. Thanks.

[Exit John. We hear the beep of a text message from Sherlock’s phone.]
SFX: Ｏｎｅ． Ｎｅｗ． Ｖｏｉｃｅ ｍｅｓｓａｇｅ． Ｆｒｏｍ： Ｊｉｍ． Ｍｏｒｉａｒｔｙ．

MORIARTY (SFX): Hey Sherlock, it’s me. Jim. Moriarty. I miss youuuuu. And I’m waiting for
you, on the rooftop of the Laboratory. But you already knew that, of course.
Hehehehe!
JOHN (OS): Did you say something? Sherlock?
SHERLOCK: Hmm? No, no.
MORIARTY (SFX): I’ll see you in five minutes. In the meantime, enjoy my little video message.
Ta ta!
SHERLOCK: [To himself] Video message? Ugh, I’ll watch it on the way.
[Exit Sherlock]
JOHN (OS): Now, it might be a little hot –
[Enter John, carrying two cups of coffee.]
JOHN: – I hope you don’t mind, I made sure –
[He looks up to be greeted by an empty room.]
JOHN: Every time. Every goddamn time. Sherlock – Sherlock?
[He skulls one of the coffees (HOT, HOT!) puts the other down on the table and runs
out the door.]

8
PROJECTED (AV)
As the curtains close, we see the aforementioned ‘video message’ play out. An advertisement
for MORIARTY THE MUSICAL! plays. This provides ample time for the large set change
taking place behind the curtain.

9
Rooftop – Exterior.
Moriarty sits by himself on the edge of the rooftop, waiting for Sherlock. Some time passes,
then enter Sherlock.
MORIARTY: Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. You’re finally here, Sherlock.
Here to solve our little problem.
SHERLOCK: The final problem.
MORIARTY: Mmm… well, did you like my little video message then? Hmm?
 PAGE 36

SHERLOCK: No.
MORIARTY: Awh! I worked so hard on that…
SHERLOCK: Ah well, can’t win ‘em all.
MORIARTY: Now I’m going to jump to conclusions a little bit here, and say that you’re
dying to hit the streets once more! Would that be right Sherlock?
SHERLOCK: Well, I am a detective, so… where are you going with this exactly?
MORIARTY: I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation, Holmes.
SHERLOCK: What is this? Whatever you’re doing, you weird little man, I don’t like it.
MORIARTY: Oh come on, Sherlock. You'll be falling for me in no time! [He can’t contain
his laughter]
SHERLOCK: What the hell are you doing?
MORIARTY: Oh! Maybe your dear little Watson will get what he wanted after all. A flat
mate! [In hysterics]
SHERLOCK: I’m not following.
MORIARTY: [Dryly] Just jump of the goddamn building, Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: Oh. Right.
MORIARTY: Time to take your final bow, Mr Holmes. Metaphorically speaking... we've
still got tomorrow night’s show. You’re going to climb onto that ledge up
there, and throw yourself off! Simple as that.
SHERLOCK: I’ve got to hand it to you, that is pretty creative.
MORIARTY: Assisted suicide is so much sexier than murder.
SHERLOCK: That’s messed up. What on earth could possibly have lead you to believe that
I’m going to do it?
MORIARTY: Let me show you, with a little thing I like to call “incentive”.
[He presses a button on his phone. At this moment, the two henchmen bring out
Mycroft, Lestrade and Mrs Hudson on wheelie chairs, their mouths covered with duct
tape and their hands bound together.]
MORIARTY: Now how do you feel? My assassins need to see you jump, Sherlock, or all
your friends will die.
[Sherlock looks concerned at first, but then begins sniggering.]
MORIATY: What?? What’s so funny? What did I miss?
SHERLOCK: It’s just… this is all so predictable. You’re like a Bond villain.
MORIARTY: Oh.
SHERLOCK: And three snipers on John? Surely even you can see that’s overkill.
 PAGE 37

MORIARTY: [In a fake American accent] Just tryna have some fun! [He switches back to
Irish, pissed off now] I can’t do anything at all anymore without you putting
me down.
SHERLOCK: I’m not putting you down... I’m just… being realistic.
MORIARTY: [He signals for the Henchmen to take the hostages back offstage] Ah well. It
doesn’t matter anymore. None of it matters. Because I’ve beaten you. And it
was easy. Too easy. Not only are you going to jump, you’re going to make
everyone believe you’re a fake. A complete phoney. Or, you can be sure to
see your ‘friends’ meet their unfortunate fates. Then, once you’re gone, I’ll
have go back to playing with the ordinary people. And it turns out you’re
ordinary just like all of them. Ordinary Sherlock.
SHERLOCK: You don’t know me. I am not ordinary. I am you – prepared to do anything;
prepared to burn; prepared to do what ordinary people won’t do. You want
me to shake hands with you in hell? I shall not disappoint you.
MORIARTY: Nah. You talk big. Nah. You’re ordinary. You’re ordinary – you’re on the
side of the angels.
SHERLOCK: Oh, I may be on the side of the angels, but don’t think for one second that I
am one of them.
[A long beat]
MORIARTY: No, you’re not. [Softly, insanely] I see. You’re not ordinary. No. You’re me.
You’re me! Thank you!
[He presents his hand]
MORIARTY: Sherlock Holmes.
[They both look down at the offered hand, then Sherlock slowly raises his hand and
takes it.]
MORIATRY: Thank you. Bless you. [A long beat] You’re right. There is an alternative. As
long as I'm alive, you can save your friends. You've got a way out. Well…
good luck with that.

[Moriarty pulls a pistol from his pocket and promptly fires a round into his own head,
falling to the ground. Shocked, Sherlock yells and backs away. John re-emerges,
panicked and looking for Sherlock.]
JOHN: Sherlock! Sherlock!
[Sherlock steps up onto the rooftop. He pulls his phone from his pocket and calls
John. John]
JOHN: Hello?
SHERLOCK: John.
JOHN: Hey, Sherlock, you okay?
SHERLOCK: Turn around and walk back the way you came. Now.
JOHN: Where are you?
 PAGE 38

SHERLOCK: Just do as I ask. Please.

JOHN: Where?
SHERLOCK: Stop there.
JOHN: Sherlock?
SHERLOCK: Okay, look up. I’m on the rooftop.
JOHN: Oh, God.
SHERLOCK: I ... I ... I can’t come down, so we’ll ... we’ll just have to do it like this.
JOHN: What’s going on?
SHERLOCK: An apology.
JOHN: Wh-what?
SHERLOCK: I’m… I’m a fake.
JOHN: What? Why are you saying this?
SHERLOCK: I’m a phoney, John. I’m not a genius, I’m a liar.
JOHN: Okay, shut up, Sherlock, shut up. The first time we met ... the first time we
met, you knew all about Afghanistan, right?
SHERLOCK: Nobody could be that clever.
JOHN: You could. You are.
SHERLOCK: No.
JOHN: Then… how?
SHERLOCK: John, I don’t know how to tell you this… I…. I wrote the show. I know
everything that happens in the plot. I don’t need to be smart, I just learn my
lines and it appears that way. It’s a trick, John. Nothing but a magic trick.
JOHN: No. You’re lying. I know you’re lying, because The BBC wrote this show.
SHERLOCK: And I adapted it into a musical. I’m so sorry, John.
JOHN: [Breaking up] No… no… I don’t believe you.
SHERLOCK: Keep your eyes fixed on me. Please, will you do this for me?
JOHN: Do what?
SHERLOCK: This phone call – it’s, not just my confession. It’s…It’s my note. That’s what
people do, don’t they – leave a note?
JOHN: Leave a note when?
SHERLOCK: Goodbye, John.
JOHN: No. Don’t. Please.
 PAGE 39

[We hear a beep, signalling the end of the phone call. Sherlock gazes down at his
friend for several seconds, then he lowers his arm and drops the phone behind him.
John lowers his own phone and screams upwards.]
JOHN: No! SHERLOCK!
[Sherlock spreads his arms and falls forward, plummeting towards the ground (just
offstage). John stares in utter horror.]
JOHN: SHERLOCKKKKKKKK!
[The lights begin to fade in and out, and John runs toward centre stage. Dozens of
Londoners swarm toward the same area, blocking John from getting to Sherlock.]
JOHN: He’s my friend! Let me through! Please!
[As the music builds, the crowd parts, revealing a lifeless Sherlock, centre-stage.
John falls to his knees, breaking down.]
JOHN: No… please God no…. Sherlock!

10
Graveyard – Exterior.
The distant chime of a belltower echoes throughout the cemetery. John, Mrs Hudson, Lestrade and
Mycroft walk mournfully towards a large headstone reading “Sherlock Holmes” with flowers at the
base.
SONG: I LOOK BACK (REPRISE)

LESTRADE: John? How are you holding up, mate?

[There is no reply]

MRS HUDSON: Can I be the first to say… the time we shared together … all of us, I mean…
it was actually… very lovely.

MYCROFT: And we did spend a lot of time together, really. I mean there is four seasons
worth of DVD content… available now at all good DVD retailers.

LESTRADE: Ehhhhhh, it’s sorta more like 3 seasons.

MYCROFT: What? Why?

LESTRADE: Well, you can’t really count Season 4, can you?

MRS HUDSON: Why not?

LESTRADE: Well, it was shit… wasn’t it?

[There is unanimous agreeance]

 PAGE 40

MYCROFT: I knew this day would come, I just… didn’t think it would come so soon.

LESTRADE: Look, I know he was a total asshole a lot of the time. And I mean a lot… of
the time. But deep down inside, I think there was a really genuine, good
bloke.

MRS HUDSON: Past that layer of brutal arrogance, he was a kind, thoughtful soul.

SHERLOCK: You forgot ‘sexy’.

[There is another bout of unanimous agreeance]

LESTRADE: Yeah, sexy too.

SHERLOCK: Surprise!

MYCROFT: Yes, it was quite a surprise to us all.

SHERLOCK: No – I’m… I’m here!

MRS HUDSON: Yes, we’re all here… for each other.

SHERLOCK: No – I… oh, never mind.

LESTRADE: Come on guys, let’s give John and this complete stranger some privacy.

[He walks over to John as they exit.]

SHERLOCK: Guess who’s back (back, back…), back again (gain, gain…)

JOHN: [In utter disbelief] No. No, no… you can’t be. You’re dead. You… are
dead. I saw it, I saw you die.

SHERLOCK: I’m sorry, John. I had to make you believe it. For your own sake. For
everyone’s sake. For the audience’s sake. But I’m here now. And Moriarty’s
gone. For good.

JOHN: How could you? How could you do that to me? How?

SHERLOCK: I had to, John. Please understand. Please. You’ve got to admit, it was pretty
funny…

JOHN: Funny!?

SHERLOCK: John, I moustache you a question. What’s on your face? Get it? “Watson,
your face!”

[John is cold, and fails to see the humour in the situation]

SHERLOCK: (Pleading) Oh, come on, John… please.

[Sherlock presents his hand for a handshake]

 PAGE 41

JOHN: (Acceptingly) You son of a bitch.

[John pauses for a second, then bounds toward Sherlock and goes in for the hug.]

MRS HUDSON: Get off him you per…

[Enter Mrs Hudson, followed closely by Lestrade and Mycroft. She quickly spots
Sherlock]
MRS HUDSON: A GHOST!
SHERLOCK: No, just me, Mrs Hudson.
MRS HUDSON: Oh my god… come here, you.
[They all rush over to hug Sherlock]
LESTRADE: Ohhh, you bastard!
SHERLOCK: Hello, Greg.
LESTRADE: Now you get my bloody name right...
MYCROFT: Welcome back, brother mine. I had a strong inkling.
SHERLOCK: Yes, well you didn’t really think I’d leave you all, did you?
JOHN: I mean, you could’ve dropped us a line or something.
SHERLOCK: No, I had to be sure. Sure that you believed me dead. Sure that Moriarty’s
henchmen believed me dead.
MRS HUDSON: Yes, what ever happened to those morons?
LESTRADE: Yeah… I’d like to give them a piece of my mind… shot me bloody knees off!
SHERLOCK: No need… I… took care of them.
MYCROFT: What do you mean?
[He gestures over to the tombstone]
SHERLOCK: Ta da!
JOHN: What?
MYCROFT: No…
SHERLOCK: Yes…
LESTRADE: You mean… under there?
SHERLOCK: Quite right. In “my” coffin, as a matter fact.
LESTRADE: What, both of them?
MYCROFT: So when we were burying “you”, it was actually those two imbeciles?
MRS HUDSON: That’s why the casket was so bloody heavy! We all thought you must have
been stress eating or something!
[There is unanimous agreeance]
 PAGE 42

JOHN: But how’d you do it all?

LESTRADE: Yes, I must say it was very convincing…
SHERLOCK: Yes, well there’s no way I could’ve done this on my own… I… I had help.
MYCROFT: Help?
JOHN: From who?
[Enter Molly from behind the Tombstone]
ALL: MOLLY!
MYCROFT: I was wondering where you’d disappeared off to for the last few scenes!
MOLLY: Sorry guys, I would have told you… but I was under strict instruction. [She
looks at Sherlock] But now that you’re back, I guess I can…
SHERLOCK: Yeah, go ahead.
MOLLY: Well… we strategically placed a mattress just offstage, so that when Sherlock
jumped, it would give the illusion of him falling to his death! At least from
the perspective of John and the hitmen. And the audience.
JOHN: Genius. Pure genius.
MOLLY: Well, it was Sherlock’s idea. I was just the accomplice.
SHERLOCK: Yes, but it couldn’t have been done without you.
MRS HUDSON: Nawh, it’s just good to have everyone back together again.
LESTRADE: Yeaaaahh! The squaaaadd!!!! Back together again!!!!
MYCROFT: Literally shut up.
LESTRADE: Ok.
SHERLOCK: Well, it’s good to be back. Right, Molly?
MOLLY: Yeah. It sure is. [She leans on him, affectionately]
JOHN: Wait… what? You two?
MOLLY: Yep.
JOHN: No…!
SHERLOCK: What?
JOHN: What? I mean… uh…. nooo.. kidding! That’s great!
SHERLOCK: Ahem. Well, even though Moriarty’s taken care of and the show’s finished, a
detective’s work is never done.

SONG: THE GAME IS ON (REPRISE)

CURTAIN CALL