Michael Kawamoto Annotated

Bibliography
by Michael Kawamoto

Submission date: 13-Mar-2018 11:41PM (UT C-0700)

Submission ID: 930154223
File name: 363_Annotated_Bibliography.docx
Word count: 1190
Character count: 7105
Michael, You've found
solid sources, written
accurate citations, and
explained the usefulness
of each article--good! The
trouble here is that you
needed to follow the
prompt's instructions to
earn the maximum
points. When you
"Tonext
prepare to write your
review
paper, be sure to review
the prompt first, sothe
you
don't do more work latest
than
researc
necessary (or redundant
study? describe? h about
work). ||
...?"

good
strange combination

Frag.

good--does it
relate to
other
The prompt asks for only
sources?
one purpose and one
introduction.
 causes or diagnoses?

great! might be a useful

figure for you!
Michael Kawamoto Annotated Bibliography
ORIGINALITY REPORT

2 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
0%
INT ERNET SOURCES
2%
PUBLICAT IONS
2%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to CSU, Fullerton
St udent Paper 2%
2
Naoko Mato, Kiyoshi Hirahara, Tomomi
Ichikawa, Jin Kumagai et al. "Memory-type
1%
ST2+CD4+ T cells participate in the steroid-
resistant pathology of eosinophilic pneumonia",
Scientific Reports, 2017
Publicat ion

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On
Michael Kawamoto Annotated Bibliography
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

82
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. Michael, You've f ound solid sources, written accurate citations, and
explained the usef ulness of each article--good! T he trouble here is that you needed to f ollow
the prompt's instructions to earn the maximum points. When you prepare to write your next
paper, be sure to review the prompt f irst, so you don't do more work than necessary (or
redundant work).

Text Comment. "T o review the latest research about ...?"

Text Comment. study? describe?

QM ||
Problem in Parallel Form:
Coordinate ideas should be expressed in parallel f orm. All expressions that are similar in
content and f unction should be expressed similarly.

Text Comment. good

PAGE 2

Text Comment. strange combination

QM Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
 dawn."

Text Comment. good--does it relate to other sources?

Text Comment. T he prompt asks f or only one purpose and one introduction.

PAGE 3

Text Comment. causes or diagnoses?

Text Comment. great! might be a usef ul f igure f or you!

PAGE 4

PAGE 5

PAGE 6
RUBRIC: 36 3 ANNOT BIBLIO RUBRIC 4

RHET FOCUS Developing

Write f or a specif ic audience and purpose.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or your review) isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or your review) may be unclear at times, and it may not be
achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Usually shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that sources
are appropriate f or your review) may be implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to persuade reader that
sources are appropriate f or your review) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HICAL RES Advanced

Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
BASIC marks incorrectly. Drops quotations and ideas into text without introducing source.
Frequently uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources or relies exclusively on one
source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Of ten includes sources without introduction in cases when introduction is
necessary and discipline appropriate. Sometimes relies too heavily on a single source
or uses irrelevant or unpersuasive sources.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Usually introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)
—reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is usually diverse, relevant and persuasive.

ADVANCED Correctly uses discipline-appropriate in-text and end-of -text citations and quotation
marks. Introduces each source f ully (as necessary and discipline-appropriate)—
reader knows who did the research or communicating, f or whom, and why. Use of
sources is always diverse, relevant and persuasive.

PERSUASION Prof icient

Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the relative merits
of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values. Integrate this evaluative work into
a persuasive argument.

ABSENT OR BELOW Annotations to the working title and purpose are unclear, and their relevance,
BASIC timeliness, balance, and authority may be questionable or unclear. Alternately, the
writer may not have written the required sentences f or each source.

DEVELOPING Annotations are related to the working title and purpose, but their relevance,
timeliness, balance, and authority may be questionable or unclear.

PROFICIENT Annotations usually persuade reader that the listed sources support the working title
and purpose and are relevant, timely, balanced, and authoritative.

ADVANCED Annotations persuade reader that the listed sources support the working title and
purpose and are relevant, timely, balanced, and authoritative.

ORGANIZ AT ION Prof icient

Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary sentences,
BASIC headings) are missing or unclear. 100-word annotations are incoherent.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary sentences,
headings) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or inconsistently or illogically
linked. 100-word annotations may not be coherent.

PROFICIENT Clear, specif ic organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary
sentences, headings) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together. 100-word
annotations are coherent.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (working title and purpose, intro, summary
sentences, headings, etc.) f it the prompt and tie ideas and topics together logically
and seamlessly. 100-word annotations f low logically and seamlessly.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express and
inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Lanuage may ref lect
BASIC a gender or cultural bias. Design may be unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Lanuage may occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias.
Design may be inconventional or inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional
and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, including ef f ective diction and sentence variety.
Lanuage respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is conventional and
ef f ective.